5 Signs Your Friend Is Draining Your Energy (How To Spot It When They’re About To)

[@inathi1329]

As the person who used to be the person people run to whenever they need parenting, it is absolutely us who create the conditions that allow people to treat us this way. It's in the kind of people we choose to let into our lives, the way we make ourselves available for other peoples needs and the way we dont cherish ourselves. If we stop making it so easy for other people to drain our energy, people who are looking for a parent wont even look at us twice because we can't offer the kind of codependence they are seeking. After I stopped feeling helpless to other peoples whims and needs, the people that used to just take from me and drain me all left one by one. Now i don't have anyone in my life that behaves that way towards me

[@LuLu-ii9vn]

I used to misunderstood that parenting my friends was to be a "good friend". I've discovered that it was a terrible idea. Now I respect them, and let them to grow in their own pase, and I am more comfortable with that.

[@tanvisharma6903]

Self regulation is a fundamental skill that lets people have their own identity and sense of self. The amount of people that lack it is insane. Every parent should make sure to teach their child this skill. It's life-saving. Most of the times, disregulated parents create disregulated children that later try to learn that regulation through other people in their life... Friends, collegues, etc. Especially for people that are aware of their anxious nature, psychologists teach self-regulation first thing in DBT. Sometimes spiritual awakening just comes to us with good energy jn the environment and we feel ok, until we start spiralling down again. It is highly recommended to feel secure to the soul in order to remain consistently awakened.

[@domsob92]

When we feel drained after socializing with someone, it is not so much that they "drain" our energy, but either: 1) They make us give them our energy by hijacking our attention. As we focus on them, the energy flows from us to them. These people seek energy by seeking attention. 2) They have an excess of energy that they want to transfer to us, mostly through talking. They might be stressed and want to get rid of their stress by giving it to us, or their throat chakra is overactive and they misuse the energy they receive from their soul for smalltalk instead of creatively. But, the energy they are directing at us is not of a subtle, spiritual type, but rather crude, of lower vibrations. So a friction with our energy appears in our aura. We try to shield ourselves by subconsciously creating an energy shield, while the other person tries to pierce it. This upholding of our shield costs us a lot of our energy - we are actually doing a hard work all the time. So at the end we feel exhausted. We don't feel exhausted when the other person channels a higher vibrational type of energy, which in everyday life usually means a selfless spiritual conversation, uplifting conversations and humor.

[@somoto9917]

Thank you for explaining it so well

[@Nila0608]

Well explained! Thank you so much 🙏😊

[@romafreespace]

The fact of the matter is that refusing people access to your energy will lead them on the path to find real solutions and learn to truly self-sooth. You are only making it worse for you and for them when you're constantly ready to waste your energy on them. Truly reciprocal high vibe relationships fill both parties with energy, those are rare and hard to come by but if you constantly wasting your time on people who drain you, your chances of establishing these important high vibe connections are getting lower. It's better to stay alone and develop yourself than to spend your time around vampires just because it seems less lonely. Once you glow up, other glow ups will see you and come to play. ❤

[@Imakeawesomeeditsforreal]

I think you've Saved me 1 year of stress. It's almost new year and I'm planning to avoid all the Emotional Vampire friends I got. But I'm scared cause I might end up alone and lonely.

[@martine3884]

I had to let my best friend go after a call when I could no longer ignore feeling drained, angry and used. It had happened many times before, but I was telling myself I was helping her. I was only a dumping ground for her frustration, anxiety, anger. She'd never listen to my advise, it only went one way. She would also cut me off if I got to say anything regarding my life, especially if I needed some comfort or help. When I went through a dark night of the soul for over 2 years, she refused to discuss it if I brought it up. I see now how I put her needs first, and allowed her taking advantage of my kindness. I cut off all ties and it was long overdue. But I will not allow this again.

[@ImJustTryingToSurvive]

That's good. Sometimes it's best to let go if they are acting like emotional vampires.

[@SassyO100]

Good for you 🙏🏽

[@tinaappreciation6808]

Thanks. I just got the exact same problem and your video came up. That’s universe communicating with me. I ignored her text this time because she always want me there for soothing her emotions no matter when. Now she become upset and said we are not friends anymore. I am highly sensitive too.Every time I near her and talk to her, after I leave, I felt dizzy and uncomfortable. Before I did not know why. She looks so nice. But my heart was yearning to stop any interaction with her. She emotional bullied me that ignoring her text means I don’t respect her at all and I am a bad person. Because before I said yes, now I said no she just cannot accept it. I learnt I need to set strong boundaries with those kind of people even though when they are ok they behave nice. But I can feel their mask energy that their nice is not from heart, it’s from the fear of abandonment.

[@SassyO100]

🙏🏽

[@almondmilksoda]

My mom is like this. I love her, but she's always focused on the negative and sees issues with everyone and everything. I know it's a perspective problem, but being around her can be incredibly draining. I'm going to have to be upfront with her the next time I see her, and set boundaries. I'm not her emotional doormat who will listen to her commiserating 24/7. Sorry not sorry! There's too many wonderful things happening in the world to get caught up in somebody else's misery. Her emotional state is not my problem to fix!

[@SassyO100]

Resonate. I realised how much my mothers misery I took on myself. It became toxic after along time of enduring it. Post SA I see it fir what it is.

[@SerranoPeppers777]

I used to have a good friend and when we got together we were always so negative and I remember feeling soooo tired and drained after being around her. Well now that I am awakened I have no desire to be around her anymore. Her energy is SO heavy and I just understand now how toxic that was. What made me realize she was so emotionally co dependent was when we stopped talking every day to like once a week. She got a new best friend and NEVER messages me anymore or leaves me on read. Or anytime I say how im feeling the conversation is over. I was sad for awhile about it but now i'm happy I know that that isn't what I deserve from a relationship. Especially since all I ever did was do things for her, throw her surprise parties and I never got anything special like that. I WILL find an amazing friend who will treat me the way I deserve to be treated.

[@eri_cupcake]

I've had two separate friends (they don't know each other) where something similar happened. What's sad for me is that in both friendships there was a period in time where we helped each other grow spiritually, with deep and meaningful conversations. But at some point I noticed that, while I continued pursuing spiritual growth, they stopped. And our conversations became about mundane topics, mostly talking negatively about someone else. I realized they only reached out to me when they needed soothing. It was very sad to see how those friendships changed from nurturing to draining for me. Once I started disengaging with their negativity, they slowly started fading away from my life. I still hear from one of them once in a while, and I'm always happy when they reach out, just to be reminded that the relationship was not what it once was.

[@frankie555]

I think the trick is not to get baited into identifying with drama (triangle) roles. When I was studying "projective identification", I realized that our part (responsibility) is the "identification" part of it. What I notice in dealing with for example adolescents is that "projective identification" doesn't work if we don't take the bait, in other words, we don't identify with a drama role. When we don't play a role in their drama, don't "identify" with drama roles, we won't get drained.

[@Mermaidd0ll]

My baby sister used to talk about herself all the time and she only came to me instead of talking to her actual friends. And to be honest I was drained every time I would sit there and listen to her. I always thought that she was a narcissist but I'm not sure. She doesn't talk about herself anymore because I started avoiding her and she noticed that I was ignoring her. And I also had a boyfriend that was always emotional and he cried all the time. Almost everyday he would call me or come over to complain about everything that was going wrong in his life and I tried to talk to him about God and I tried to encourage him and he didn't want to hear any of it so I broke up with him because I just couldn't take it anymore 😂

[@margaritadonoso8830]

I used to be very much like this. I always felt sorry for people when they suffered and even now I still do but the difference is that I don´t take some problems as serious as before my awakening, but that make me realized that some people are always creating problems in their life as a way of manipulating others to feel charished, they do it without realizing it but they literally become energy vampires because is never enough. So when I changed my view and stopped being so caring most of them got ungry at me and even stop talking to me. People create their own suffering most of the time and is better to not indulge that kind of thinking even if that means to let people go of your life. Is better to run away, knowing everyone is guided and you have no power to save anyone from their own mind.

[@silvercarriage]

I’m not too sure I believe in being ”drained” as much as triggered. If you have cleared up and made peace with your own wounds then talking or crying from someone couldn’t be anything more than just a loud or intense sound. And depending on where youre at of course… Standing near a waterfall doesn’t have to hurt your ears or feel draining (although it could if you really need to rest and not be near something wet and loud for example), but pain is pain. I think it is how we respond to it that matters. For me, the urge to try and ”fix” someone’s issue is a sign I am not at peace with the pain they are experiencing and my own equivalent to whatever that pain is. When my child is crying cause he is disappointed because he didn’t get to eat candy, I feel nothing but love. I feel his cry of course, in an energetic way, like electricity through my body. And then it calms. And he starts laughing. So I am wondering, what about identifying what kind of pain someone is activating within and try to make peace with that? While setting boundaries of course…. But the more peace within, the more we should be able to hold space for each other. Most of us need someone to be there during emotional crisis. Some of us never learned to regulate. So some of us might need company a lot of the time. And some of us are not meant to be there as company, we are meant to prioritize our own healing first. But I think everyone has emotional maturity to do. And pain is very subjective.

[@katec9893]

I resonate with your comment. I see so much of this narrative about how others in emotional distress are considered 'draining' with advice to cut them off, and it always seems alarmingly callous to me. I've had friends react very harshly when I was grieving and it shocked me, since I'd always been there for others. The world will end up very cold and hard if everyone refuses to tolerate anything but the happiness and positivity of others. I think as communities we need to be able to support people in need, including those who are emotionally distressed. It's a selfish act to label those in distress as draining and to distance yourself.

[@silvercarriage]

@@katec9893 Yes I agree. I lost a lot of people while going through intense healing and grieving because they felt so uncomfortable with me crying. Ironically, this prolonged the grieving phase because I had more loss to cry over. On the one hand it was all inevitable (I wouldn’t have anything to grieve/heal if it wasnt for the trauma that drew me to these people in the first place). On the other hand, support is crucial. So I think most of the time, therapy is the way to go. Finding qualified support, people who actually have a certificate in sitting with pain 😆 Then eventually finding the right people who are not afraid to sit with their own pain or yours, to build relationships with. But we cannot find those until some healing and insights has happened probably….

[@silvercarriage]

@@katec9893 Also: I am sorry you had to go through that.

[@katec9893]

@@silvercarriage Thank you, I'm sorry you went through that too. I agree that finding a good therapist is very helpful. I do however feel alarm at the 'take a pill, go to therapy' suggestion increasing amounts of people are saying to their friends and family in distress. My own cousin said this to me when I was devastated after bereavement. All I wanted was for people to be present with me and allow me to feel sad. They didn't have to advise, or do anything, except be present. I've done this a lot for others and I'm shocked at how many people now refuse to do this for others. I don't want to live in a society where the only people who listen to others are those paid to listen. We need to get back to a model of mutual community support.

[@SassyO100]

I agree. i think we can do all the inner work we like but we can never know what else is lurking underneath until the odd trigger from someone else's pain. it is then that we must go within to acknowledge, identify what the other persons pain ignites in us and try and locate where that originated from through reflection, journaling, meditation or therapy if needed. I think we shouldn't shy away from others pain but embrace it, whilst having our own boundaries in place to ensure their pain doesn't become ours.

[@yoonglie]

i have a best friend i've known for coming up on 10 years. they had a rough childhood, lots of parental issues, which has lead them to have an anxious state of mind most of the time. they often come to me for the slightest of problems like asking what they should say to ask for something, in fear that the other person will lash out (just an example). i acknowledge my want to let them deal with it bc you cant always depend on someone in life--you have to be able to make solutions and figure out things on your own, especially as an adult. but i also struggle with the obligations such as the fact we've known each other for so long, and i'm practically the only one who does help out. I've been wanting to have a conversation about my boundaries for a long time, but again i fear them feeling terrible about "being a burden". it might make the situation worse... but i also know i need to prioritize my own feelings and set these boundaries. very tough... moral of the story: everyone needs therapy and you cant rely on your friends to be that role

[@ShannaFarley]

I currently live with a draining individual and it is causing me quite a bit of distress because I am left with little energy for my own pursuits. I care about her and she can be fun, but she relies on others to regulate her emotions. She'll experience one minor inconvenience in a day and spend an hour talking to me about it and then call up multiple people to talk about it. She does not know how to self soothe. I want to be her friend, but I am excited to be on my own in a couple of weeks and be in just my own energy. I am tired of being tired.

[@sandrayip4978]

I watched this to learn what kind of friend I shouldn't be and how to make sure my friends always feel happy and comfortable around me. I don't want to drain any of them. This video is very helpful. Thank you!

[@mariaaguirre3378]

One of the drawbacks of this spiritual wisdom is this kind of interaction. “Dumping” should never be tolerated. Once you recognize that dumping is going on it’s time to end the conversation.

[@JaiKaalika]

I have cut off all such friends (after gaining lot of courage) 😊😊 A common friendship issue with empaths before awakening 😅

[@SassyO100]

This has been my journey stage for the last 5 years. There’s only one person left now (family member) who I need to seek the courage to come away from without hurting them. It’s the hardest one but one that most affects me.

[@jolandab2058]

Love this one, so recognizable! I have a dear friend who drains my energy and haven’t learned anything since 2 years we are in this dynamic… and I miss people who are there for ME, who can understand and comfort ME… Thank you so much 🙏🙏🙏

[@spanishgray]

Maaan I have a friend that matches all the boxes. I have known her for a couple of years now and she's always with bad luck and stuff (as she puts it) I acknowledged a while ago that she has to change her mentality for things to change but of course you can't say these things to people. I don't want to cut the friendship but I can't stay in it either, I'm trying to avoid her until I find a way to tell her how I feel without making her feel bad 😅

[@sofiaferreira5130]

I have this friend that the afternoon after my grandma died they was back at dumping their problems on me. Apparently their mom got mad that they came to see me in the morning (this having nothing important to do that day and being adults), they sent me paragraphs complaining about their mom. It was nice of them to come see me in the morning but couldn't they go vent to any other of their friends and not using me who was destroyed inside. The other thing that happens is that they struggles with mental health and i pick all the videos, blogs etc that i used to find the tools to start to heal, i told them a million times "see the videos and see what you can take from the video to put on your daily life", everytime they has a breakdown comes to me saying the other day they watched the videos and it's not helping then, i ask if they started to try any of the tecnics that the videos offer to see what works on them and they say no or there's no point. I wanna see them get better, i really do but, I'm tired to give advice and not taking the most important part of it.

[@shellytallent2548]

I've found since my awakening I noticed that most of my friends were dependent on my. I guess I didn't mind that before my awakening,but now I can't handle needy people. I'm letting those people go little bye little except for one of them.She was sudden and over in the blink of an eye. I like being with myself most of all,and of course my cat 😊🎉❤

[@PotatoCouch666]

Just what I need! Can't wait!

[@prabhubhakti1111-b9b]

Me too from India

[@carlielai]

OK everybody here blame someone who is draining around them. But none of us reflect or admit that we can also be someone who drains other’s’ energy 😂

[@ShannaFarley]

I think this is fair, but a healthy relationship is when two parties are able fill each other's cups and not a one way situation where someone is constantly taking. I often call these people leaky pots because no matter how much I try to fill them it's never enough.

[@AydinHero]

@@ShannaFarley the best bit is when you help them with something and spend weeks resolving it with them, finally it's resolved! Then there's a moment of peace, very briefly and you think hey, all good now right? Then you watch as their scattered mind finds something else to lock horns with and a new cycle of this behaviour begins as they create more problems, seemingly out of thin air!

[@leselle777]

Good Morning Rei. Yes I too have had Those experiences and still do... I am happy that you have recognised and created your Boundary for your peace and health. I have thought why these low energy people come to me. I too was happy before their arrival, its an opposing law of attraction. I feel an aspect of me, perhaps an unhealed part of me pulls them to me. Perhaps it is a message for me, to love myself enough to protect my space. Abraham once said that nothing is more important than, I feel good (and stay feeling good...is my addition to that saying) I had to allow that thought to settle in, it took a while. Have a great Sunday.

[@taralove6508]

OMG same... Actually the thing is I have faced such complaining and backstabbing people before and suffered bcuz of them. Now I can easily pick up their energy, and learn to say No and draw strong boundaries with them but problem is one part of me feels a bit guilty and the other part feels strangely on high alert, like what if they get back at me....I hope you can provide some solution.❤

[@leselle777]

@@taralove6508Hello. Yes an empath feels, other people's energy and thoughts intensly, after and while other people are hurting you. You really help another by being aligned to the truth of you, being centered. You are not here to be disrespected or dumped upon. Valuing yourself is a challange, I know, but consider it. I feel the goal is to be the truth of you firstly, if another gets value from you...great...if not...great..you are not responsible for another persons well being or self awareness, that is their self responsiblity not yours. Be you unappologetically. I know that is itself, challenging but consider it, you being human and here is worth it. Hope this helps.

[@taralove6508]

@@leselle777 Yes that's right, I shouldn't be apologetic for doing what's right for me. And Yeah I agree in building more self-trust and valuing my being more. Putting my thoughts out there, felt great.Thanks for replying. I'd work on it. 🙏💜

[@soumyas8203]

OMG. I had been through the same quite recently. It was really affecting my inner peace for a while and it came to a saturation point where I had to tell her the actual energy dynamics and manifesting the so called situations in her life with a firm voice. Now the frequency of her call has reduced considerably.

[@SassyO100]

I did that with a ‘friend’ I supported when they asked for help from the effects of being in a toxic relationship. I was their only listening ear (I realised) and I was being used to think for them. I couldn’t do that and didn’t see how that would help them in the long run. So I said out loud ‘you need to start thinking for yourself, only you know what’s right for you’ as I put the phone down I knew it would be the last time we spoke as it was truly a one sided ‘situationship’ I feel lighter for doing so as it pulled me lower every time we spoke as they were dealing with a narcissist like character .. but I actually think now my ‘friend’ was attracted to those types of people and it wasn’t my place to help them heal every time.

[@hakuzosionnach]

You should maybe discuss how that other person could learn to help themselves in that kind of state? As in how they can learn to not burden others when trying to self heal. Yes im still self healing from many things atm and its been a struggle.

[@KaavyaBector-k1u]

yea a video on self healing/soothing would be great :)

[@cle4906]

The difference between sympathy and empathy is as follows: Your friend is stuck down in a hole. You can stand up on a ladder, look down, give solutions and pity (secretly thanking god at your own luck to not be stuck down there too), or you can go down the ladder, sit with them in the hole, feel what they’re feeling, and then hoist them out of it. Sympathy is the first, empathy is the second. Love and relationships require sacrifice

[@SassyO100]

I agree with you on all of it. But one aspect of our gifts as empaths (I believe) is that we are able to sit down in the mud with them …. But we have to have the tools and strength to not allow us to remain down in the mud. I worked with clients in a life coaching capacity and the personal results for the clients came at when they could feel I understood their predicament because I was able to ‘sit beside them’. Earlier in my career as an empath I did take on alot of what my clients experienced (felt in my body) so I now have to practice being able to be there and also able to step out so as not to make their trauma felt in my body. It’s been such a learning curve for me personally but my Spiritual Awakening over this last 3 years are opening up to understanding where the lines must be drawn.

[@beautifulvillian405]

OMG! The people surrounding me have these 5 habits and they are their best friends. They always called themselves "the queen". They love to bully and take everything drama. I have to stay in the same room with them because it's a small group internship. They always blame me and others. Gosh, I absorbed their energies too much because I feel that I'm just like them from the inside. But when I work alone or work with other, I feel joy and I laugh. So, my solutions are 1. Calling and talk to my best friends often, 2. Enjoy the moment I'm alone or work with good persons. In the early stage, I was too sensitive and drained. I cried when I got back to my room. But now, I learn to ignore their toxicity. Study about spiritual awakening, and develop other sides of mine. I see my self stronger and smarter about friendship. I thought I could be friend with anyone, but now I realise that "No, I can't be friends with the bully and toxic people."

[@wornouthoodie]

this showed great respect for the other friends while showing how it can hurt us too! i loved it- this video is the best i’ve seen at navigating this nuanced situation

[@mandar13579]

Just got out of a relationship where she would never have patience to sort things out through peaceful and deep conversation, and wanted instant solutions or played the blame game. I loved her but her attacks, her unwillingness to put in energy into listening, her demand for validation (made through texts rather than meeting personally) hurt me so much that I had to let go for my own wellbeing abd eventually hers too. MY SELF LEARNING: # Never to have difficult conversations that truly matter to me through indirect media except for real long distance emergencies. It does more harm than good. ## Never to try and make a relationship work if the other person doesn't share my concern / enthusiasm in doing the same.

[@Nila0608]

In my case it's not even toxic encounters or anything that you mentioned. It's totally the very energy / aura of some people that I couldn't connect with or be around and withdrew from them eventually for I felt very overwhelmed with such loud/ unstable/extremely extroverted friends around me!!! That being said they are lovely souls who gave me beautiful memories of which I am grateful for. However, draining mine to satisfy others ???! Nah! 😊 Thanks for the video Rei!

[@Flow-rise]

Oh.. I remembered this feeling when you know that you are wanted to serve smb’s drama, they don’t see it and when you refuse, you become the villain. And sometimes you think maybe I am😆

[@ananyade368]

Every point is so TRUE. Looking forward to your next video. ❤ Emotionally immature is the right description rather than toxic. Toxicity is the end result of their incapability to handle their emotions gracefully.

[@ngahuiaharvey4170]

I love these videos they are helping me I have a friend that is draining and loves to turn situations into drama I love your videos

[@HollyNSwick]

I want more friends in my life, but I have had such bad luck with this in my past. I have done a lot of healing after having to be isolated for so long and I am ready to get back out in the world and meet people. My soul is longing for it, but I definitely have a lot of apprehension about it.

[@elle12390]

Omg this is exactly how i feel around certain people!

[@yashashalbertoalfonso3733]

Can you pls make a video on rebirth process the one you talked in dark night of soul episode and also like how to make career choice after spiritual awakening

[@ekkolima]

Great question! I'm going through the same thing myself. Its not worthwhile to get paid to be disrespected or to endure what no longer resonates with your current soul and it's make up. If finances permit, take an extended vacation alone, away from distractions and listen to your soul for new visions and ideas for your existence going forward. After that, make tangible plans to execute this new reality.

[@yashashalbertoalfonso3733]

@@ekkolima thanks for your feedback but since I am a Student who just graduated I don't have any real experience with real work and awakening made it more confusing

[@mangzjoy6726]

Can't wait for ur next video, pls do share examples on "how we can self soothe wen we face difficult situations" So more people can learn this skill❤😊

[@befreeexplore]

Yes all people around me drain my energies e😅 except my mom dad❤ 5:44 I have same kind of friend

[@davidfuentes2862]

as long as humanity exist so will drama and things like this ,thats why i cut of all emotional attachment dependance of others , energy draning ,narutally humans always will have beings of acting ,behaving and reacting , You can't always deal with the drama of all that , emotions are a Prison in a way ,being a "friend" ,being part of a "family" ,having "responsabilites" , the fact of having emotions and morality and a sense of justice of what's good and bad , i love loneliness and i would never have a problem ,i am all alone all day and nights and just do what i want , no attachments for the sake of emotions , obligations ,some sense of justice , for thinking being lonely is Bad ,for being human for damn sake

[@paulschultz2331]

I know I can be emotionally draining. That’s why I try to keep things to myself.

[@SassyO100]

I think we all can if I’m honest but it’s about also our self awareness. I want balanced relationships now .. not to say I won’t help someone but I will in a less draining and destructive way to myself. I think it’s so important to be mentally untuned with our bodies so we can detect those energy drainers quicker and take appropriate action to avoid the drain. I feel it’s always going to be something we will get better at over our lifetime. But for now I am seeing and feeling others intentions pretty quickly.

[@Poopsy962]

This is why depressed people don’t seek help because everyone around them abandon them

[@carladossantos1142]

Your therapist won't abandon you. In order for people to stay around, you need to heal

[@erwardjenson1175]

thank u so much rei! u are always so insightful and help simplify and illiterate matters.

[@Medmyself]

Thanksssssss!!!!! This helps a lottt!! Thanks Rei:)

[@anjanatvm]

I put boundaries with these type of friends,! but... How with Mom ??!!🙄😐😖

[@RegardsRei]

Yeah, I agree, very tricky with family. I’ll be talking about it in the next video 😊

[@katejohn2874]

Best advise, leave and break up with friends like this. dont accept them back or listen to their excuse. just leave coz they will take your focus and attention away from you. this people are demonic.

[@Protector0ne]

Isn't it better for us to learn how to take on someone's negative energy, without it draining ourselves? Like, routing it into a bottomless pit; offering it up to the goddess Kali (to put it in more esoteric, Hinduistic terms); piping it to dev/null (in a more tech-minded metaphor). I feel that if we are truly present with someone, we can take whatever they are throwing our way, and let it flow right past us, like water under the bridge.

[@zizitop5590]

OK I am that emotionally unstable all over the place need someone to sooth me person. What is the solution?? 😢😢

[@yasemins1313]

It’s nobody’s responsibility to soothe you. You should be able to do it on your own. It’s ok to vent every once in a while but if you do it constantly, people would run away from you. You have to develop self love and self acceptance.

[@inathi1329]

Therapy helps a lot. If you cant get to a therapist online tools help a lot. Some KZbin channels by professionals that have helped me a lot: Patrick Teahan, The Personal Development School, Irene Lyon. From there you will see recommendations from similarly helpful channels. The trick is you have to want to be personally responsible for your own emotions and regulating your body. Once you have that down it becomes easier to utilize the tools at your disposal

[@DusBeforeDawn2008]

Sometimes its ok to lean on others when you need it, but if you feel people getting tired or drained try and respect their boundaries and make sure you're putting good things into the friendship to, talk about things they or ideally both of you enjoy. People will get resentful if you only talk to them about problems and the like. And if you lean on your friends a lot make sure you're there for them when they need it

[@Protector0ne]

There are multiple ways to soothe and release emotions. Some popular options are: meditation, breathwork, tapping, movement…

[@ShannaFarley]

You need outlets, either through the action of creating (ex: bake, paint, play an instrument, write, etc.) exploring the relationship you have with your body (ex:play a sport, run, do yoga,etc) Connect with nature (Go for a hike, hang out with a domestic animal, etc.) These are the things self soothers do. We find healthy ways to let go of that toxic energy and not just transfer it to others.

[@bluestar.8938]

Thank you : )

[@jolt321]

I love your channel

[@ruthpoersch387]

💖this has helped me understand myself and the people around me, a lot more, I do have a friend like that and I did started ignoring her and that also doesn't make me feel good, is there something that we can say to them as of why we are not being there as much? thank you for sharing

[@angeldrawer1237]

I have this one friend (known her since elementary) She always left me feeling anxious and worry that'll upset her. (Ex: In elementary, she always wanted me to play with her and no one else and will cry if I try to) ofc I know she doesn’t know that since I believe she as speical needs(?) I want to gently cut her off but idk how.

[@redfishinyellowlake]

I am really afraid of cutting off people before. By just thinking of it, I feel lonely and anxious. Now, anyone who negatively affects my peace of mind, I am ready to let them go and I feel so much peace.

[@godfunk]

I wonder if we’re thinking of the same person 😉

[@ChildFirst]

1:27 2:05 .... 2:20 4:09 ..

[@cemmer1295]

musiiccc musicc !!!

[@SparklyPsychic]

I am actually the last 2 😭

[@patricadyson778]

I have a ex that will not stop draining me .

[@NuWaterz]

Ok

[@Marlenkaminta]

Offering solution or advice without being asked for it is actually unhealthy. Listening skills are important, and you probably wouldn’t get drained that much in thise situations, and the other person would feel seen. This is a you problem. Nobody is obliged to take unsolicited advices. The same goes when your friend has problems, and you make it about you, and how their problems effect you. Not healthy. Most of your points sound like a codeoendency 101. :) However the two way street thing is big! One sided relationships where someone doesn’t care/listen and is only there when everything is rainbow and butterfly, or they get support, but not the other way round is not friendship.

[@shamanic-Priestess]

Reality check she is a narcissist 🤔

[@juliemayhwang4469]

🩵

[@Louis76-z3i]

Always repeating yourself. Been asked the same questions over and over.

[@Jon2.2.0]

888

[@Laniitaa]

I also have one more thing to ad to this. One friend I've been with. Everytime we hang out I always seem to end up in wierd ways getting such a stomach ache and feel empty and depressed for around 1-2 weeks after as well after seeing her. And this is so sad because I really care for her, but I can not stand her ways of handling her emotions as she can get very loud and talking about good old memories, but are only about bad times when somone messed up so musch that she got angry. Over all, she get very easliy bored and hurt. And everytime we hang out. Her mood is always out of balance.

[@jaroslawgogolin3664]

🙏