5 Simple (and kinda weird) Dutch habits to Simplify Your Life

[@sandrainontario6710]

My father-in-law once said to his wife when they had guests over, "honey we should go to bed. These people probably want to leave" 😂

[@sandradeenicholson]

😂😂😂😂😂😂🎉

[@mindimoom9142]

I have a cousin who says the same. 😂

[@rebeccaortiz3327]

😂

[@1vonehrenkrook]

My dad ALWAYS says that! ‘Well, you probably want to leave, and we need to get to bed.’ Is how he tries to shoo everyone out the door.

[@ewuniak70]

Brilliant!

[@kats9755]

The concept of "I love you, please leave my home by 10 pm" is delightful to me. I love setting boundaries and having friends who happily respect them. And I love when friends set boundaries with me too because I know if they can tell it to me straight about the little stuff, they'll do the same for big stuff. Boundaries = trust.

[@gangoolie68]

I feel the same way

[@cccynova]

We have a friend who is a rabbi and regularly has people at his house. He has this habit of suddenly and bluntly - but with a warm, friendly smile - announcing, "Well, it's time for you all to go home now. Have a blessed day!" His wife used to feel mortified when he did this to friends and guests, but she has gotten used to it. And we, his friends, are not even offended! At first, we'd chuckle at his bluntness because it would slightly surprise us, but now we just say, "Yes, it's that time again. Time to go home. We've had a nice visit. Now, out to the car, children!" 😆

[@YeshuaKingMessiah]

It’s actually gaslighting someone to say ILY, now leave Obv u don’t more than care about them as a plaything becuz once ur done, they need to get out

[@kats9755]

@YeshuaKingMessiah Tell me you've never experienced gaslighting without saying that. Baby, boundaries and clear communication are about the furthest you can get from gaslighting. Telling my friends I'm tired and need to go to bed and please let me do that isn't me using them lmaoooooooo

[@YeshuaKingMessiah]

@ ahhhh u obv don’t know me lol but u wouldnt, ur just reading a comment When someone has restrictions on their access to u in normal situations, that’s not (hold ur ears becuz ur brains going to explode) ok. It’s not even good. There’s a very narcissistic mindset that’s pervaded American culture of u exist for me n my needs. It’s sad and sick. It’s typical? Sure.

[@sallyrush653]

re: "good is good enough:" Quilters have a saying (at least in the U.S. they do): "Finished is better than perfect." I've been trying to expand that notion into other areas and it's very freeing!

[@soulfuljuiciness]

@@sallyrush653 I have a saying that 90% done is done, just a way to not overwhelm myself that doing something is better than doing nothing, similar kinda concept

[@DaisyG33]

The same applies in prepping legal briefs for meeting a filing deadline with the court. 😂

[@neige4221]

I hope you are joking. When it comes to law, the professional better be a perfectionist. It all lies upon the details after all.

[@bjdefilippo447]

I have heard it as "Don't let perfect be the enemy of good".

[@anne-marieesnos9402]

let well enough alone...

[@lindakessler7586]

I read this in a baby shower invite: “We care about your health and that of our mama to be. If you are feeling unwell, please take care of yourself and know you will be missed” How beautifully gracious 😌

[@djb1164]

I'm in America, and was just recently invited over to a neighbor's for dessert. When the gathering had gone on for about 3 hours, the hostess said, "Well, this has really been nice." and started to get up and pick up a couple dishes. This was a very gentle hint that the evening was over, and I thought it was quite gracious. I will be using that method in the future if I have guests and feel that it's time to wrap up the visit!

[@Sypeth]

In France we wouldn't just go and say well... it's time you leave but we would throw subtle hints like getting up and taking the dishes away, yawning, saying stuff like "wow, we'll all be tired going to bed so late..." and because we know how it works most of the time people will get up, help with the dishes and will be on their way... from time to time you have one person who ignores the subtle hints and then you get a lot less subtle 😂😂

[@LisaM.601]

I’m also in the US and, “Well, this has been really nice,” while starting to clear the table or coffee cups is my go-to queue for guests to leave.

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Yes that totally makes sense! 😊

[@captaindutchlass]

In Italy, serving coffee is your hint that it’s time to leave.

[@neonaviolett6281]

I'm from Latvia and here is never too late to leave 🤷 To have guests is something really special.

[@smileychess]

As someone who struggles picking up social cues, I LOVE the idea of someone just telling me it's time to leave. Normally I only realize in hindsight that I overstayed my welcome, and it results in me leaving very early in most situations out of fear of missing the cue.

[@angella7576]

Awww I want to hug you.

[@janeflip1]

Me too! I can never tell when to leave and how to exit gracefully. So, I just awkwardly leave.

[@smileychess]

@@janeflip1 - I just say I have some work to get done.

[@katrinestoreboart]

😂 people can say things like "let's do this again soon." "This has been really nice." Etc. In other words, "sling your 'ook."

[@PockASqueeno]

I was thinking the same thing! I often find myself sticking around for longer than *I* want. I get bored and want to come home to use my own toilet…but it feels rude to leave early. So I’d love for someone just to tell me to go home. 😂

[@trinalynnb]

This is wild, my Oma and Opa immigrated to Canada from Holland in the 50’s and this explains everything I know about them but didn’t realize was part of Dutch culture. I thought it was just their unique traits. It also explains so many things that my children and I do that I had no idea was coming from my Dutch side. Thanks for the great video.

[@SaltySerial]

Me too, my oma and opa immigrated in the 50s. We still practice th cake rule. And birthdays are important. Every person's birthday is celebrated - down to my great nieces and nephews, and my niece's and nephews spouses. I didn't know it was different until some "non-dutch" people who married into the family pointed it out to us.

[@SandyTCF]

My parents also came to Canada from the Netherlands in the 50s and I also recognize many of these aspects of Dutch culture. For example I LOVED getting to pick out treats to bring to school on my birthday!

[@ursamajormouse]

Yes, me too! When I visited the Netherlands for the first time it was such an eye opener for me. "Oh, it isn't just my grandparents and my family...we're just Dutch!"

[@Ekalb48]

I really like their approach to birthdays. Having the birthday person responsible for bringing the cake and party favors of their choice. I retired from Banking and we were constantly having to donate to birthday funds for each person and that gets expensive for all. When the birthday person does this, you only pay one time! GREAT IDEA!! ❤

[@PR.Hobbit]

birthdays are for infants

[@margaretirish705]

My husband's office does this. I thought it was really unusual at first, but it really is a good idea~

[@PR.Hobbit]

The birthday cake is a flat cake = placenta

[@godivaferguson2802]

I worked for a Dutch family for many years, most of their employees were Dutch too. I loved the birthday person being responsible for birthday treats! I chose all chocolate treats every year for my day 😂

[@carlenegilstrap2871]

@@margaretirish705my office does this too, if they want to celebrate.

[@Jessie73944]

I’m a third generation Dutch Canadian. I love your videos about Dutch culture because it’s interesting to discover which parts of Dutch culture my oma and opa maintained when they immigrated. One of my opa’s frequent sayings was “keep it simple.” I’m very grateful for the parts of Dutch culture they passed on to me!

[@wilmacoate1042]

"Doe maar gewoon, dat is gek genoeg" (just act normal, that's crazy enough) is a favorite Dutch saying of mine that I use lots of times, even after having been in the States for 47 years. 😂

[@deborahswett3508]

Sounds so good to me❤. I’m very American, but your ways sound so much more inviting!

[@betsygodwin8938]

I finally understand where the term “going Dutch “ comes from. To me, it means you each pay your own way. So thank you! I also have some Dutch roots on my dad‘s side that go back to the early 1600s, but never really thought much about it until now. So now I am going to try to embrace my Dutch side a little more! Thank you!

[@joshbrailsford]

As an English person, my experience of Dutch people ties in with this - they come across as relaxed and practical, and straight to the point about things. On the subject of hospitality Vera, I think you underestimate your fellow Dutchys (Dutchies?). I have stayed at many campsites around The Netherlands, and have lost count of the number of times the campsite owner has invited us to join them for coffee, and sometimes a cake or biscuit, upon our arrival. They're always very welcoming. One time my family was touring part of The Netherlands by bicycle, and my mother injured her knee, which really slowed our pace. A lady on an e-bike caught up to us and noticed our difficulties, and offered us to camp in her nearby garden! After we pitched our tent, she brought us oranges, showed us where they had a WC & washroom in the corner of their barn, and left us to it, with suggestions on where to seek medical attention the following day if that became necessary. We couldn't have been more grateful. Honestly, Dutch people are the best!

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Oh what a lovely story! Glad to hear you had such a great experience here :)

[@marypladsen5231]

People who are kind to travelers are the best. It's even in the Bible, I believe.

[@KaoXoni]

​@@marypladsen5231definitely. Nomadic culture knows the urgency of shelter and support while traveling and thus elevates immediate hospitality as a core value.

[@timdowney6721]

@@marypladsen5231 As Gordon Lightfoot sang, "The house you live in will never fall down if you pity the stranger who stands at your gate." Lots of Americans should pay attention to this.

[@lynneborland7628]

In America, there are so many different traditions and people that generalities don't really tell the true story.😮

[@mr_john35]

I'm American, living in the Netherlands for many years now, and your explanations made me smile. I was not fully aware of the "sixes" and agree, it makes life easier than always being so competitive. You appear very charming and sincere, and this recording was a pleasure to watch.

[@pinhaoadriana6723]

I have a Portuguese friend that married a Dutch and I remember very well how she was impressed with the culture of saving money by doing it yourself. You did not really mentioned this on your video, but my friend said the first time she had a problem with her bike and wanted to pay someone to repair it, her husband was shocked because everyone knows how to repair a bike and to pay for it would be ridiculous. Also, when my friend wanted to repaint their house and was looking for a professional painter, her husband told her they could just gather some friends to do it, and they did! The idea, she told me, is that spending money on something you can do yourself is a waste. This made me think because it questions our habits and it does save us money! 😊

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Ah yes that is such a good point! Thanks for sharing it. Most people here prefer to do things ourselves if we can. I think of the older generations, many people know how to repare a bike. But maybe not so much for the younger generations hahaha. I wouldn't know how to. But we did paint our apartment ourselves 😊

[@pianogal853]

I'm curious - which one was the 'let's do it ourselves' spouse? I have a Brazilian B-I-L who always wanted to do it himself. He even refilled his printer ink! He was from a very poor family, mostly during the communist rule (the same one that just took over again)

[@juliehodges5592]

Convenience for the sake of convenience is expensive.

[@Mamaazhiiwe]

That was definitely part of American culture in middle and lower classes of the past. In some ways it was bad because it created an expectation that was not always realistic. Additionally it made me reluctant to pay for the services of others when I felt like I should just be doing it myself. Sadly, many of us no longer have the social life that creates friends willing to lend a hand, and as I get older, I am having a much harder time doing things myself. I also never learned to find or hire help, which where I live is a definite skill. We have an awful time getting anyone to do work.

[@TheDowntownHermit-xj6rq]

There are three things I will not do myself: Electrical Gas Plumbing If I do it wrong, The failure would be costly, If not spectacular. The rest is up for grabs

[@greenspiritarts]

I am from America and love all these ideas, especially the underlying value of simplicity and the focus on enjoying life first rather than competing to impress others. So many great ideas!

[@yeahboi8404]

As someone who is possibly neurodivergent, these Dutch ways of life seem so refreshing with the upfront and structured nature they tend to have. It especially stood out to me with the custom to tell people what time they need to leave, because it's not always the easiest for me and other neurodivergent people to pick up on certain social cues and "beating around the bush" phrases. I'd much rather people be direct!!

[@ALCHEMICORACLE.universe]

i feel you so much

[@SimpleHappyZen]

I can totally see that 😊 And even here, there are gradations in how direct people are. I have much of the Dutch directness in me, but some other people here are even much more direct than I am. 😅

[@knewps]

Meanwhile, I’m AuDHD and sitting here thinking, “oh my gosh planning ahead, remembering birthdays, and being organized? This is my nightmare!” So interesting how differently we both view this :)

[@Machuell_DuLac]

I was thinking the same thing. Seems like a utopia for the spicy brained like me.

[@mariawesley7583]

Also possibly neurodivergent here. I've found Dutch and German cultures refreshing. I am an American who has lived in Germany and its perfect for us. Germans are literal and if you plan to meet them at a certain time they will be there. In some countries the time is just a vague guideline. I also could never live in a country with excessive kissing as greetings. One cheek? Both cheeks?

[@bethallen8509]

I’m American, but of Dutch heritage and this all makes complete sense to me, from thriftiness and appreciation for straightforwardness to knowing when I am done entertaining. I always thought I was just weird, but turns out I’m just really in tune with my Dutch culture lol!

[@theriseabovecoach]

As an American from the US, I really liked this entire video. With the new year coming, it is a great reminder to look at things in a healthier and different light!

[@SimpleHappyZen]

So happy to hear you enjoyed the video! 🤗🌱

[@jillrhodry1139]

In Australia the saying is "C gets degrees' - C=credit

[@greenlady43]

I usually sent my mother a gift for my birthday, she did all the work!

[@SabrinaStJames-v9v]

I didn't know how much my great grand Father who was Dutch had influenced my life. I do so many of these things now.

[@LR-uk4dh]

I appreciate all of these customs. The birthday idea stands out to me. It definitely solves the problem of thinking no one cares because they forgot your birthday. Love it.

[@ciomaracarvalho2934]

I admire this culture. Many people choose minimalism to simplify their lives. And you already have this well defined.

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Thank you! 😊🌷 Have a wonderful day!

[@angiebee598]

I just learned about the sixes culture from another youtuber who is an American who got his master's degree and stayed in the Netherlands. My husband who is a professor, sometimes tells his grad students who are struggling with their projects and theses, it doesn't have to be good, just good enough.

[@susanma4899]

In grad school my perfectionism caused me to miss deadlines and drag my schooling out longer than necessary. I had to create a portfolio and it took me FOREVER to compile it. And now that I have my degree, do I ever use that portfolio? Nope.

[@alisonhendry2928]

I am not only half way through and want to ask “ So how do we move over there? 😂😂” I have been to Amsterdam three times and love it each time. The intense competition for places in school or sports teams in the USA feels so toxic sometimes. I prefer your way of life as living with health and happiness is so important. Really enjoying this cultural education. Thank you ❤

[@intercat4907]

Have you paid attention to the fact that an anti-immigration Party is now in power? Did you know there are riots right now in the street there against immigrants of all types? Their deputy finance minister got called racist names AT A CABINET MEETING. It went so far he resigned. I assume you are some variety of White because most Americans are, but you may not be able to pass. Good luck.

[@cmaden78]

There are stories in my family that say an older female relative who was adopted into the family( but who is genetically linked to my branch) has roots in the Dutch people) I have never heard of "sixes culture". But it sounds like something she always said, "good enough is always good enough."😂 If I had the smallest hope that I could ever learn to speak Dutch... I'd be there with a quickness.❤

[@elisemiller13]

I have a friend that was at one time a romantic partner, from Netherlands. Only if we married or if I had a skill that could benefit the country that added something they didn't already have. Otherwise as I understand it, there isn't chance of immigrating. If that sounds intense, consider the fact there is One forest....one, protected such that legally one cannot remove a stick or flower & there is no paper book published....( Closest publisher of physical books is Germany at least it was like this when I visited).

[@The_Nixie]

Maybe look up "Dutch American Friendship Treaty" :)

[@Patricia.R.]

I live in Texas ( born and raised here) customarily, we feed everyone that’s at the house. However, in recent years, I have acquired new family...they show up unannounced and over stay their welcome. I’ve gradually changed my ways. I visit for a few, then let them know I how I wished they’d called first- I would have been ready. But it was nice to see them and I look forward to seeing them next time. It’s been a great game changer. As to weddings- they’re over kill in my opinion. Especially here in USA. My husband and I went to the court house- we call it eloping. Though it rarely is that anymore. It just satisfies the loose end and documents. Both my daughters, and one son have done the same. Easy easy.

[@marieanne2680]

When we still lived in Holland, if people wanted to visit but they didn't have previously agreed plans, they would call and say "are you home". And if the person was okay with someone coming over then yes, they were home. If it was inconvenient, the answer was no. We've been in Canada for 50 years and we still call each other with the "are you home" question first. It's great because nobdoy shows up unannounced and nobody has to pretend they're happy to see you.

[@KaoXoni]

I am curious about the coded question: "are you home?" ... Do you also literally ask that when you call folks on their landline resp. did you ask that way back in the day when there was only landline?

[@LalaDepala_00]

​@@KaoXoni"Hey ben je thuis?" Is normal to say in Dutch. It insinuates that you are thinking of coming over.

[@Djolien.89]

@@KaoXoni On the landline you would say you were just about to leave.

[@Savyra]

@@KaoXoni I like the question 'Are you visitable?'

[@sabine3769]

Same in Germany. Never visit unanounced. Never visit uninvited.

[@j.vanderson6239]

We in the Netherlands see dinner time very much as a private family thing. Talking through the day with your spouse and your children

[@MK-cc5ve]

This is a problem. Closed family system is not a valid excuse to be mean to others.

[@goldenhoneybee8128]

​@@MK-cc5veStop being a bigot. Different cultures for different people. The Dutch have invented many things for the benefit of humanity. Show some gratitude

[@yltraviole]

​​​​@@MK-cc5veIt's not mean at all, it only comes across to you as such because you have different cultural expectations. No Dutch person minds being told to leave because the family is going to have dinner because they would also rather eat at home with their family. It’s very rude to place expectations on a different culture because it's your preference.

[@soulfuljuiciness]

@@MK-cc5ve no one said anything about being mean to anyone... just what the cultural practice is... unless it's a specifically planned event I'd be exactly the same and I'm in Australia

[@Karincl7]

​@@goldenhoneybee8128 drugs ?

[@chrisoulalakkas7935]

Living life is crucial, but living it in your own unique way is even more significant.

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Well said! 🤗

[@DaisyCruz-yr3bu]

💯🤔

[@radawson1018]

Amen to that!! Something to remember to tell children of all ages!!

[@Motherhubbard170]

language !!!!!

[@lauramonahan9343]

As an American (4th generation), it is amazing to me how much Dutch cultural heritage comes through naturally in my personality, it must be "in my bones." When I was in Holland, I felt completely at home and people would come up to me and start speaking Dutch, so apparently I look Dutch as well. So interesting!

[@JillianSiobhanMal]

🤗🤔Awww haha that’s cute.🌷 I’m a Dutch American as well.

[@JillianSiobhanMal]

Oops no pondering face lol.

[@MissBabalu102]

I'm French/Celtic and I have been saying that a lot lately, but only 3% of Americans have my background so it is frustrating.

[@alovero]

hi vera! love this video. letting go and accepting “good is good enough” is a relief. i also resonated a lot with the aspects of frugality, practicality, and straightfowardness. it’s wonderful and comforting to know that there is a culture out there where how i am is the norm! thank you from california!

[@irishka_zolotse]

The dutch are just normal practical people, who want to feel free from the societal expectations and want to be happy with their lives... Thank you for sharing, living by one's means is a virtue, not every one has lots of ambitions, some of us just want peace and tranquility...

[@Rubbaduckie1975]

I agree wholeheartedly with your comment, peace and tranquility is a worthy ambition all in itself ❤

[@amyr9497]

As an American, you are totally right about often times we prioritize “ our status and our output”. I’ve never heard it put like that, thank you for sharing about sixes culture!

[@SimpleHappyZen]

You're very welcome! I was a little worried about getting anything wrong about that, so I'm glad to hear that resonated with you. :) Take care and have a great day!

[@sheaholloway9537]

​@@SimpleHappyZenWe do appreciate you sharing about your culture, and so many things are beautiful, but very different!

[@er6730]

The "barely passing is good enough" idea kind of shocks me. It reminds me of myself in school. I saw my little sister getting super high marks, and being praised and being involved in everything and she got to go out of class to attend "gifted and talented" sessions where they did all kinds of fun things, like learn Russian, build robots, etc. And yet I saw how stressed she was. My parents expected a lot, her teachers expected a lot, it was part of her identity and she felt that pressure. This troubled me, because I felt like I was responsible to protect her but I couldn't protect her from herself! I saw all this as a way to be unhappy, and so decided to get 80-84% on everything. If I got less, my parents were unhappy and I worked harder on the next project. If I got more, I relaxed and eased up. This way everyone was happy with me because I was doing medium-well, but didn't pressure me to "live up to my potential". I thought I was the only one who has had this strategy, but I see I was just in the wrong country! 🇨🇦

[@susanma4899]

I'm thinking of myself, my sister, and my brother. I'm the oldest, the kind of student who usually gave a 6 effort but would make a 9 (or is that my imposter syndrome, lol). My sister, 10 effort and made a 10. My brother, 6 effort and made a 6 or 7. Nowadays my sister makes the most money but is extraordinarily overworked and her health is not great. I am underemployed and kinda poor as usual, but happy with my work. My brother jogs every day, builds things in his wood shop, can fix almost anything, is a great cook, a great husband and dad, takes care of hundreds of people in his job, and is active in his local community.

[@watermelon6878]

I just want to underline that 6 out of 10 does not equate "barely passing”, it actually above average. I don’t at all interpret the Dutch system as they are all aiming at the bare minimum, but at passing with good grades, just not stellar grades. Which also leaves room for students to be extra involved in subjects that they are passionate about, and perhaps have a 9 out 10 grade in those. This kind of attitude also doesn’t kill the students enthusiasm for school, and doesn’t make them exit school completely wrung out. No one is saying that students with a natural ambition can’t apply themselves more.

[@ruthemck8512]

I so admire Corrie Ten Boom. She was Dutch. What a warrior. So modest, ordinary & wholesome. I would love some day to visit Holland.❤ Windmills, Tulips & Bicycles.

[@j.vanderson6239]

I am a Dutchman living in Haarlem.A few months ago I visited the house of Corry in my city, which is a museum now Very inspiring !

[@Katie-iz6fh]

"The Hiding Place" is an inspiring book!

@@Katie-iz6fh I used to read that book all the time, over & over, to keep me sane...

[@bladesdna]

I love all of this. The theme of all of these customs is practicality and favoring real happiness and fulfillment over appearances. Not saying what you really feel may seem rude in many cultures, but I think is actually kind and shows your real connection with others. I love the directness of the Dutch people I've met. Having to guess if someone means what they say or is "just being nice" is exhausting. It seems the Dutch care less about things that don't matter, (status, appearances, highest scores on tests) and more on the things that do (simple life pleasures, real connections with people, money in the bank).

[@danyf.1442]

The idea of not putting too much pressure on students and not worrying too much about school grades is very healthy and refreshing. I was more like you though, always striving for high marks, but I had a good reason. Coming from a low income family (and underdeveloped area in general) I always knew that I needed scholarships, and good grades helped with that. Even if here (Italy) college is cheap compared to other countries I could basically study for free with scholarships and such. Even in highschool I managed to get a little money for my school results. I regret it a bit now though and think that I could have taken it a bit easier sometimes.

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts! Yes those are definitely very interesting points. It really is very different, the kind of pressure students face in school, depending on how the education system works and the impact that grades can have on education, finances, job prospects and the like.

[@maricamaas2326]

The best I believe is to view oneself as carrying out whatever task one is engaged in, to the best of one's ability; this as a reasonable sacrifice/service to God, towards glorifying Him as our Creator. He had given each one of us talents to work with; precious gifts of which we will one day give account of how we had used them. In this light, also keeping in mind; while on this journey of performing to the best of one's ability; to rather be in competition with oneself, while refraining from comparing oneself to others.

[@esmeraldagreen1992]

I always got 7s and 8s

[@LeahsThings]

I was in a similar situation as a kid, and it did pay off with scholarships! But as a kid, it is difficult to know how much effort is "just enough." As a child I often felt that if I wasn't striving for perfection, I was just as likely to fail as to pass; I didn't quite know how to strive for "just below perfect."

[@maricamaas2326]

​@@LeahsThings As with other character traits, naturally individuals anyway differ as far as conscientiousness goes... Anyway, if one sows sparingly, the eventual harvest will reflect that.

[@duvessa2003]

So basically, the sixes culture is teaching people not to be perfectionists. We are heavily perfectionistic where I live, and it has impacted my life, and many lives, negatively. In my adulthood, as I observe people who do just as you’re saying, putting in just the right amount of effort for the result that they need, they are happier. They are more successful. They are not wasting their time. Thank you for sharing this very important idea to counter the ridiculous Puritan Work Ethic, which teaches perfection, rather than success.

[@alexandraalmeida3661]

I actually think I might be Dutch without knowing it😂! I’m Portuguese and in Portugal people are very nice and welcoming, but completely the opposite of everything you listed, so my planning ahead, telling people it’s time to leave my house, save money, buy secondhand, etc, are seen as weird things. I wasn’t shocked by anything you said, because I do most (if not all) of those things. I’ve been to many countries, but I never visited the Netherlands and I’m sure I’d love to from what I’ve been listening from you 💙❤️💛🩶🩷💚🩵💜🤎🧡♥️

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, very interesting! Hope you'll get to visit the Netherlands one day :) Take care and have a wonderful day!

[@cherrykindstedt7051]

holy crap you've been together for almost 22 years?! u look so young!!

[@Motherhubbard170]

Language !!!!!

[@ESLClassbyNorma]

The "sixes" ethos is making me feel better about going back to finish my masters. Love Dutch culture, thanks for these vids!!

[@SimpleHappyZen]

So happy you enjoyed it! Good luck with finishing your masters! 🤗🌳

[@LS56788]

I wish I’d known about this before I did my masters! I was so focused on getting the top grade I put myself through a huge amount of stress and then missed out by a couple of percent 😢 I could have been enjoying myself!

[@MissMoontree]

Mind you: even a six may take a lot of effort. 7 is a good grade and 8 is often the type of grades only top students get. But grades also vary among studies and levels.

[@runningfromabear8354]

I'm English and my mother was always 6 😅 but she's funny and relaxed. She's a registered accountant and never required us to go above average. My father is an overachiever and always lectured about our marks. He's high strung and stressed out. I trust my mother as an accountant more than my father as a chemist. She's not in hurry, remembers she's human and does things right the first time.

[@monicacollins8289]

I feel that the "Sixes" mindset is settling for mediocrity.

[@ChristyDay7]

Ty for sharing. My Mother was Dutch. Simple living. No waste. She always said do the best in all you do. And be happy with it. That is good enough. 😊 I miss her.

[@user-pm7ck6ij9s]

I vividly remember being punished by my mother for bad grades. I was young and my parents were in a high conflict divorce but the failing grades were my fault. I learned very quickly that if you weren't at the top of the class you weren't a worthwhile human. I now have a BA, MA and LLB. I spent 11 years in University, I have a great career but I routinely struggle against a fear of failure which is endlessly stressful.

[@ALCHEMICORACLE.universe]

i resonate w you about mother / high conflict in household + internalizing similar beliefs ❤ thank you for sharing + i hope your awareness helps that fear to lessen / hope you can find more ease

[@rf-g8684]

You've accomplished a lot and I hope you can work towards enjoying life more and liking who you are (traits, not just milestones).🎉

[@alisonhendry2928]

Ouch that’s painful. So sorry. I think many of us have these stories…This happens far too often in North America. I can’t imagine what some Asian high achieving homes are like to survive in.

[@joyfulyes]

I was pushed to excel because I was very bright. Anything less than an A grade was not good enough. I took on the notion that I was obligated to excel and make some great contribution. I never have done, and I still have to remind myself that that's OK. It has definitely affected my whole life.

[@The_Nixie]

All of this. I lettered in track - but had to quit the team when I got 5 As and a B because clearly it was affecting my grades. It took me four decades to realize how perfectionism and the need to always excel was keeping me from having a life. But I *did manage to shift my priorities - I still take pride in excelling but not for 70-90 hours a week. I hope you find the balances that serves *you* rather than someone else's unreasonable demands.

[@trishk.7876]

These all resonate for me, but my favorite is not immediately asking someone what they do for a living!

[@YeshuaKingMessiah]

I need to know where to start with u If ur a professional/tradesman, I can use normal vocab and assume basic knowledge I can not with a waitress or cashier or day laborer If ur at home with kids, I know u GET certain things a career woman doesn’t.

[@MissBabalu102]

It seems many European cultures are sensitive to this. I don't ask anyone, and I doubt anyone appreciates that. They might WANT to annnounce their career.

[@watermelon6878]

In Sweden, your profession is one of the first things you ask as you’re getting to know someone. The absolute majority of women have been working for decades, while dads are expected to take at least three months of the total parental leave. So you can generally count on both women and men having experience from the workforce, and if people have children you can expect that both sexes have been home full time with the kid at least some time. And it’s more like “how do you spend your days” and “what subjects could you be expected to talk about” kind of thing, than to brag. It’s generally considered rude to ask about someone’s income. We still have some of that thing she said in the video, not talking too much about a new, expensive car, or other things that clearly indicate lots of money. But unfortunately I think that is changing somewhat, an influence from the USA. Unemployment having risen somewhat during the latest decades, perhaps the work question isn’t going to stick around in the future. I have some friends who have already stopped asking about profession and say something along the lines of “And what fun thing have you done today” (prior to us meeting), as they feel this gives people a nice out if they’re unemployed or on longer sick leave at the moment. I think that’s nice.

[@jo-annevandermey2704]

I married a child of Dutch immigrants. I have always found them friendly and welcoming. Many aspects which you talk about become stereotypes and we laugh about them but many things are also the way I was raised from farming parents. And I find most Dutch people are very hard working and entrepreneurial. I think the balance in life displayed are good traits. We can learn a lot about honest expectations, balanced leaving in our North American world. I also find people of Dutch heritage are very caring to those around them and help others out. Usually they are very giving but do not need to be in the limelight with there deeds.

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Thank you so much for sharing, that was very interesting! 😊

[@campervanchick8916]

What an interesting and informative episode! This is the first one I've seen on this channel. What blew me away the most was "that was nearly 4 years ago we had already been together 18 years" - coming from someone who looks like a 20-something.

[@luisepalffy3139]

Hi Vera, thank you for this video! I really needed a reminder today that the practice of "sixes culture" is absolutely okay, sometimes even necessary if I want to avoid a total breakdown - which wouldn't lead to better results anyway. Your content is so refreshing, these videos always help me to regain my sense of inner balance, and become more productive in a healthy way, while also prioritizing what's important - fun, friends, family, observing the nice things around me etc. Have a nice day!

[@roz352n]

I like the idea of living life simply. That the marriage process does not need a lot of money and complications to happen is beautiful. You can choose to have a little and simple wedding to celebrate with your family and beloveds as you mentioned the wedding of your sister 💗😊

[@eduardor0605]

Vera, thank you so much. Your mail made me cry, it's so good to understand that good enough is better than perfect and that we deserve to be happy ❤ greetings from Mexico

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Aw bless your heart 🌱🍵 Take it easy and take care, you deserve that!!!

[@DoodleBit14]

I grew up with a perfectionist parent. The "sixes" culture is something I would have loved to have during my school years. I was burned out by my second year of middle school (i'm american). I love the concept that "good is good enough." ❤

[@MissBabalu102]

My Dad raised me that way, but in America we lose out on scholarships and being accepted in the school of our choice. I hope people spend the extra time on something special.

[@wandamusictube]

Good is good enough but 60% on a test is not good. that is D minus here. 59 is failing.

[@watermelon6878]

Well, maybe their scaling, or how to put it, is different than yours? Maybe they have normed the scale so that 5 = average student 2-3 is failing, and hardly anyone ever gets 10:s, because it takes truly exceptional talent to have those kind of results?

[@kimcaido8314]

I visited the Netherlands this year. Absolutely loved the country and the people. Also, I just couldn't get over the adorable windmills❤

[@SimpleHappyZen]

So happy you enjoyed your visit here!!! 🤗💕

[@Jacqueline_Thijsen]

Those windmills used to be quite practical. The miller would live there with his family and grind your grain for you. In several cases, those windmills would also pump water out of a low lying area, which is how the Dutch created the Netherlands. But in all cases, a traditional windmill would do double duty as a living space and workspace. Today, only some windmills still have people living in them, usually because the owners love living in such a historical monument.

[@MissBabalu102]

And the waterways and boats and bridges and bikes. I love that lifestyle.

[@leechamberland9569]

I'm Canadian and feel super blessed and happy living here, yet have often thought that if I had to live somewhere else, it would be the Netherlands. What you've shared here simply reinforces that. ❤

[@jrsidebo]

Part of my family are Dutch - but came to North America in the 1600s. It's interesting to hear of Dutch characteristics because they are recognizeable in many in my family to this day. Thanks for the insight.

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Ah cool! Interesting that these characteristics can stick around through the generations. :) Good to hear you enjoyed the video :)

[@Paul_C]

@jrsidebo it probably would depend on the area where your ancestors landed. You see, there were two types of people who made a dangerous journey to reach the new world. Two main areas spring to mind, where the Mayflower landed and the other one where the Dutch landed, Manhattan. Two, very, very, very different schools of thought. 😂

[@janetmckenzie146]

One side of my family is also Dutch. they settled in New Amsterdam in the 1600s. Definitely the thriftiness, unimportance of owning fancy material things, and even bringing our own cake!

[@carolwinston4709]

Same here, some family came from New Utrecht to Brooklyn in the 1600’s, Van Brunt, Remsen, Bennett, et al, and remember many of these tendencies in the last generation who all passed away in their 90’s, born in late 1800’s and early 1900 in Brooklyn.

[@victoriapearce6145]

Love the reuse and minimal lifestyle. So much less stressful

[@TheCatsOnMyLap]

I think the time limit for a guest is wonderful. I am a little awkward socially and would love to know a time to leave without being rude.

[@janmcneil5221]

When I moved to the Isle of Man, I found the same birthday treat tradition. The birthday girl/boy buys the cake (or whatever). Such a relief, especially when you don’t know everyone.

[@jenniferro10]

I hope this video really opens a window for some folks into why some cultures intuitively understand sustainability more than others. Simply doing what you need to do in all things, letting passion or talent shine through where it does, but just moving through where it doesn’t, is a sustainable level of effort in the long run, when it comes to also balancing things like exercise, mental health, and (later) parenting and hobbies. This gets so ingrained in culture that it becomes easier to understand the harm of overconsumption, wealth accumulation, monocultural agriculture, etc.

[@jcampbell100]

Oh wow I think I am Dutch. Love all these and I now am going to say, after a dinner party, " well that was lovely" and start clearing up. Most people will certainly get the hint. I have turned drop overs away when not convenient and ever phone callers if I don't feel like chatting. Its really the polite thing to do, rather than be irritated after. Thanks

[@deec6535]

I’m an American. Sixes Culture is so foreign and nice to me. I remember getting a B+ on my first ever report card (in penmanship). I was punished for nine full weeks until the next report card when I could “bring home an acceptable grade.” That’s a wild idea, being good enough. We need that more here.

[@kiekert7499]

@@deec6535 ridiculous, to put this much pressure on a kid. Good job parents!!! (Not)

[@bethany45101]

I’m a parent and I’m so sorry you experienced this amount of pressure! I was also raised with As only parenting and have suffered with perfectionism for most of my adult life. I determined well before I had my children I wouldn’t pressure them that way. If they pass, I’m happy 😊 so far, my kids that are in school are A & B students with no pressure from me and I’m very content with their work.

[@kiekert7499]

@@deec6535 I’m a parent too. My daughter is a B /C student on a level similar to High School college. For me enough. She’s doing her best, sometimes not, and that’s fine by me too. My son is on a school 2 levels lower, less books, more with hits hands, learning a craft. He mostly has good grades. In fact the school level is too low for him, but 1 level up means “learning only by books”. I know he would be a very unhappy kid, so we let him do it his way. I was an ABC student myself. Never pressured by my parents; I myself was the one who put pressure on myself. I thought if I had the best grades, I would be succesfull later. I’m 46 now and know better. No one EVER asked me about my grades. It never was a thing in an apply for a job. I went to university, studied Marketing, gradueted with only 8 and 9 grades. I never did anything with Marketing again (I began disgusting along the way). I have a good job in a whole other field, not educated for it, but doing it succesfully for 18 years now. Love it!! Learning every day. School in my eyes is Basics. The real learning starts when the working Career starts. It’s important what you show then! Some people with a Masters paper in the pocket, appear to be worse workers. Some others with no education at all appear to be geniusses. My partners is a perfect example. Dropped out of school, because he didn’t fit in the system (like many more). His talents began to show when he started working. Hé worked his way up to the top, being an expert in his field. Okay, he did it the long way, but it shows that life is not over if you’re school grades aren’t the best. Too many kids don’t fit in a fixed system, but begin shining when they can do what they’re good at. And many times, that is not at school. So, my kids coming home with sixes? I won’t sleep an hour less of it. It’s a pity, but hey…next time a new chance!

[@pietwandelaar1743]

Canadian of Dutch ancestry here. Your videos bring back memories of my parents' culture, the culture of my childhood in a Canadian community of Dutch immigrants. Love the practicality of Dutch culture. The flessen likker evoked a memory of visiting the Netherlands as a youth. At a family gathering of uncles, aunts, and cousins the ladies were enjoying advocaat. By the time the bottle was empty, they were feeling rather jocular as they extracted the last bit of creamy goodness from the bottle with a flessen likker. Seems recent, but more than 50 years ago.

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Ah that's such a nice story! Advocaat is really popular here among the older generations :)

[@onethousandwords]

Of the many comments on being direct or indirect when a visitor drops in, there is a component no one mentions, which is timing. Politeness is about avoiding sudden changes that require reorienting, less than about direct/indirect. It is to make someone feel prepared. That is why it can feel impolite to drop by, or impolite to not introduce one conversation partner to another. But, if you have a schedule or know when you answer the door that you are tired, I find it is still polite, even being direct, to tell someone "I'm only free for an hour" or "I have plans at 5:30" near to when they arrive. It helps them to plan also to be a good guest and leave promptly. It is far less polite to say nothing until the moment you want them out - it is more abrupt, more unexpected after you welcomed them in without warning that time was limited. It is the idea "you have to leave NOW" that can sound rude, but it is never rude to define the terms of your hospitality up front. Even "I'm quite tired, I may not be up long" is a good intro; then you can say "That's it, I'm going to fall asleep" to kick them out and they are ready for the change.

[@MiaHirchberg]

Similar to something I recently learned to leave a conversation, when networking/socializing: I'm about to head out/move on, but I had one last question.. To extract yourself from the convo gently, so you both know to wrap it up

[@MsPurji313]

I have no Dutch in me (as far as i know) but I love these. Clear, concise, and that whole 6s mentality would have saved me in so many ways. Up and including a beating or two. This all sounded lovely.

[@catherinemartina6469]

I love the whole idea about being clear and letting someone know when it’s time for them to go. I love it.

[@luciepaul1270]

I just got a warm and fuzzy feeling watching this video. I am Australian born Dutch descent and I remember that my mother and Aunty both had a lot of these tendencies. One that made me giggle was the Birthday Calendar on the back of the bathroom door. We definitely had one of those 😂 They were also very honest and direct but never impolite 😊

[@departmentofredundancydept4121]

I'm not fond of people just stopping by. My friends are aware of this. I have been known to just ignore someone knocking at the door because i wasn't expecting anyone.

[@csgyoutubian5208]

Myself, also. Just as with the phone. I answer when it’s right for me and my time.

[@departmentofredundancydept4121]

@csgyoutubian5208 same ☺️👍

[@ANokes1]

I learned that the birthday celebrant provides cake/treats and gifts for those celebrating with us when I lived in Germany. I brought my own cake to work since then and it is foreign to my American coworkers, but it totally makes sense to me…and I love to bring a different perspective to my fellow Americans. Thank you for sharing about your culture. Your explanation on school grades was enlightening. I lived in Amsterdam for about 6 months, I was unaware of this, even though my son went to school there.

[@Katie-iz6fh]

I wonder if this is regional? At my jobs in Wisconsin the person with the birthday has always brought their own birthday treat.

[@DoloresPreston-j4u]

I love your Dutch habits, they are so practical, they make sense and they reduce a lot of stress.

[@beckybissell8747]

I like how these customs are so respectful to hosts. It is honest and compassionate.

[@joeyree22]

Hoi! First generation Dutch/Aussie, married to an Irish man here. We moved from Amsterdam(4 years) & Berlin(8 years) to the USA, obviously we have a very mixed home, but it’s undeniable that I have incorporate a lot of Dutch culture in our little family, in fact, just this weekend, I did the tidy up “that was lovely, let’s do it again” to move guests on. I’m still trying/helping my husband to see that good enough really is fine and healthy. I grew up with a very combined culture and a combination Christmas. I always add many Dutch elements to our Christmas celebration; we had to compromise, but we have a small celebration on the 24th too. Speaking of Christmas, the other cute one I do for us, (and it’s happening this Friday), is Sinterklaas ❤, I always put a treat in his shoes.

[@mjanec57]

I'm in West Michigan, an area where many Dutch, including my maternal ancestors immigrated to in the early 1900's. Since my ancestry is mostly Dutch, I feel very validated by this! I thought much of how I was raised was due to my parents being raised during the Depression. However, I see that the Dutch influence was also very present. It's very refreshing to hear this against the backdrop of American consumerism! Thank you! m.

[@TGYtco]

Same! I love this! My great grandparents immigrated to Minnesota from the Netherlands in the 1910's.

[@ExestentialCrisis]

Same! Related to half of Ottawa county. 😂😅 Definitely see a lot of familiar characteristics.

[@timvandenbrink4461]

@@ExestentialCrisis🇳🇱🇳🇱🇳🇱

[@sianwarwick633]

This makes sense now. I had an acquaintance whose father is Dutch, and she is so blunt. But she is practical too. And very structured about social events.

[@soteriamediaproductions6165]

I inadvertently practiced the Dutch Sixes culture here in America. Thanks to this video, after 65 years, I feel much better about passing high school with a D- average. I now realize that I was smart enough to prioritize my life practices back then! I have also made, I’m embarrassed to say, an above average living since then. I just hope the person manufacturing the brakes on my truck pays no attention to the other things in his life and does a perfectly excellent job on my brakes.

[@dawnc5797]

I laughed out loud at your last sentence. I feel the same. 😂

[@TasAE99]

As an introverted socially awkward American, Dutch culture sounds amazing!

[@magdazanzottera8598]

I'm Italian and many things you said also apply to my culture...apart from the hospitality bit, if you're at someone's house and it is dinner time, they will for sure invite you to join them for the meal, it would be considered extremely rude to ask your guest to leave because you have to eat 🙂

[@MyFocusVaries]

Same here in Canada, but we'd also be feeling that it was rude of them to come over near a meal time.

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Yes I can totally see that 😊😄 Thanks for sharing!!! Enjoy your day 🌱🍵

[@rebeccamulkern1051]

Same in Greece, I now live in the UK and I’m labelled as a “ feeder “ as within minutes of someone coming in my home, no matter what the time, I always offer them something to eat and drink, and that includes handy men too that come to work at my house haha

[@magdazanzottera8598]

@@SimpleHappyZen thank you for pointing out other ways of doing hospitality, it's so interesting to discover our differences as Europeans 😄

[@thebusybees2006]

I agree . I have a close friend that is Italian. She loves company and feeding everyone great food. We always leave her home with goodies.

[@butterbeantv]

Thank you for sharing Dutch culture. I had never heard of zesjescultuur and being from a competitively academic family I find it so fascinating!

[@LalaDepala_00]

We don't have a school-system that is highly based on grades when it comes to accepting students. A student with only 7s can get into university as easily as a student with straight 10s.

[@waffles_spectrum]

Dutch culture sounds like a haven for autistic people (wanting things to be straightforward, taken care of, and not having any conception of social status)...now I want to visit, haha. Being able to tell people when to leave sound heavenly...one of the reason I never have people over is because I'm never sure when they'll leave or how to signal them to leave. I'd actually have people over more if I could tell them when to leave. I think I'll start doing that in the future, thank you!

[@gangoolie68]

Agreed! I’m AuDHD and all except the b’day thing works very well for me… but then maybe if I grew up with it I’d be ok… OR just take that day off 😂😂🎉

[@waffles_spectrum]

@gangoolie68 I think taking the day off sounds great! To me, sounds like a great day to be a hermit, haha. That said, I do appreciate the Dutch way of having people bring their own treats. It allows the birthday person to celebrate or not celebrate their birthday. I didn't grow up celebrating birthdays and because I have discalculia (dyslexia for numbers) and also no sense of time, birthdays for good friends are actually really stressful because I may miss them... Though, at this point, everyone in my life who matters knows that thinking about birthdays stresses me out...and I forget my own birthday all the time and would personally prefer not to celebrate. My friends and I have compromised with fun activities around my birthday that aren't necessarily FOR my birthday, lol

[@Karincl7]

It s not, it s romanticized

[@miriamrobarts]

When you want them to leave, you can say, "Thanks for coming, guys. This was fun, we should do it again sometime." If someone really doesn't get the hint, just be honest & say you're tired and need to go to bed. If they are people you'd invite to your home, they're probably nice people & will be understanding. Another thing you could do is let them know an ending time when you invite them. In your text or email, say "Come to my game night on Friday from 6 to 9 pm". Then everyone knows what to expect.

[@waffles_spectrum]

@@Karincl7 which parts are romanticized? Are people not as straightforward? That's the part I'm most excited about, lol

[@magdakusiak8527]

I love the one when you tell people when it's time to leave :) Makes everybody's lives easier :)

[@lisakey8888]

Hi Vera! As someone with perfectionistic tendencies like you, this entire video was a sigh of relief. Thank you so much!

[@SimpleHappyZen]

You're so welcome 😊❤ Enjoy your day today!

[@gloriagonzalez1390]

Good heavens! I am a Spaniard but I think I must have some Dutch gene ! I do 90% of what you are saying. I am specially horrified with waste and wealth flaunting, both so prevalent in today’s societies. Kudos to Dutch people.

[@jmalin6359]

Same.

[@MissBabalu102]

I hear Spanish people are more social. They just invite you to come along, is that true?

[@antiquesrestoration3874]

How refreshing! Low-key is the way to go with most things...in my opinion. Dutch culture seems to have priorities in order. I also get the impression that Dutch people are known for cleanliness. My experience, with my grandmother, who was born and raised in The Netherlands, was a perfect example of this.

[@SimpleHappyZen]

So glad you enjoyed the video! Funny also about the cleanliness part :) I wouldn't really know if we value that more than some other cultures.

[@julieperry683]

Well that was very informative and interesting. Thank you! I live in California and my grandmother’s parents moved here from the Netherlands in the late 1800s. It’s amazing to me that a lot of the Dutch traits you describe are still how we live our lives. Being frugal, practical, letting people know when it’s time to go home and even the 6/10. We put effort into learning, and do fine, but don’t overly fret about it. It is a logical way to live and I appreciate that. 😊

[@susiehelmuth7595]

I love this video. My mom has Dutch ancestry and now I understand some things.

[@dan.jilllund.macfarlane379]

I enjoyed your video! Here, in USA elementary school, the birthday person brings the treats. (Michigan). There is a lot of variety here for marriage. We eloped & spent $10 for our wedding license (Colorado). I met a woman at the airport & we chatted. We both had a similar saying that "the more you spend on an elaborate wedding, the shorter your marriage will be." The 'showy' part of America gets promoted. The quiet part is there, too - enjoying nature more than things, etc. Thank you for promoting "live simply, so that others may simply live."

[@megandelanoit5246]

I love the idea of telling people “hey it’s time for you to leave” in blank terms! No one has hurt feelings and it’s just accepted and expected! I live in America (Midwest) and I hate the “long Midwest goodbye” that we do. It’s like the host wants the guest to leave and somehow we keep talking and cycling through goodbyes and then someone says something and it sparks more conversations and it can last for half an hour and it’s frustrating! It feels more calming for me to have the clear defined lines that the Dutch have and I just love it!!

[@katwyrdreit]

I'm 3rd gen Dutch. I'm surprised by how many of these habits were part of my family's culture. Delighted to see such connections.

[@MissBabalu102]

It's nice that you could make that connection. I'm not sure about family culture and my history. My parents divorced early on and nobody really told me I was French from both sides. And Celtic. I feel like it, I really do. But the Frech say it's their country and not the ancestral culture. In America they act like we are all the same.

[@kilu3625]

I love this. I live in Germany, close to the Netherlands, and I have been there a lot for vacations. I find many of the mentioned points very beautiful, but I also enjoy planning a lot, so maybe I would fit in quite well there 😂

[@Audrey.17]

Vera, wanted to let you know that the Sixes Culture has been a really great thing for me to learn. I have been reflecting on it all week. And, I incorporated the concept at work. And wouldn’t you know it, it helped create less stress for me and more focus and good productivity numbers. Productivity is a big deal at my work, and sure enough this whole week I had good numbers due to being more relaxed and not so wound up about certain things. I still have a way to go, but I did make profess this week. Thank you for teaching me this concept. ❤

[@Nanojax]

Ah I need to move... Sigh. I live in America and the culture here is very much 'things are hard and I'm not going to give you anything unless I know you've worked as hard as I did'. Being burnt out is almost a badge of honor. I do think things are MAYBE starting to change a bit with the younger generation. But it's a slow process. I really genuinely crave a simpler existence and this seems so nice. ALSO OMG. I love the idea of telling people/being told when it's time to leave! It's so hard to know otherwise. I wish we had that here.

[@deny.defend.depose.2]

It fosters a serious victimhood mentality

[@MichelleL22]

Wow, you hit the nail on the head!!! I totally agree with you and am so exhausted from all of it! ❤

[@SteveFullerBikes]

Having interacted with some Dutch folks at my former employer, I really appreciated the directness of my coworkers with Dutch backgrounds. Especially in my occupation, it made projects so much easier to work through.

[@LaundryFaerie]

Oh, this is interesting. My grandma was raised by Dutch parents, and she would tell her daughters' friends to head home when it was time for the family to have dinner. I had no idea this came from Dutch culture.

[@bonappetit173]

Honestly, the telling guests when to leave part makes so much sense to me. It’s about boundaries, and normalizing having them for the benefit of wellness both on the self and for the benefit of others: healthy boundaries brings healthy and happy friendships/relationships.

[@loribierling752]

This is so great! My husband’s family came to Michigan in the early 1950s when he was 3. This does explain a lot! I will have to share your video with him and his siblings! ❤

[@MissBabalu102]

Are there a lot of Dutch in Michigan. I was in WI and we had none.

[@dianeyoung8068]

Thanks for sharing some of your culture with us Vera. I love the fact that there is less judgement about how people share relationships and whether or not they have children. I might be a little bit taken aback by being asked to leave but I totally get that this is more practical. My grandmother has Dutch roots and i can see her in many of the things you mentioned.

[@simoneclarke5104]

That was so interesting, thank you for sharing. I wish here in North America. There wasn’t so much emphasis on what you do for a living, the car you drive, or the house you live in.

[@Carol-w8o]

I'm an English person seeing your video for the first time and really appreciating your practical, sensible approach to life in general. How refreshing! We have a mix of cultural backgrounds throughout the UK, some of which is the "keeping up with the Joneses" - showing off material things to be on the same level as well-off people, those who are thrifty because they need to be or because they enjoy it and everything in between. Personally I like to approach life in a practical and thrifty way. I did like the Sixes approach to education and I will pass that on to my 16 year old granddaughter who has a tendancy to be a perfectionist and get the highest grades possible. Thanks for sharing.

[@MrDosSantos]

I’m Brazilian and lived for one and half year in the Netherlands and I can say that I’ve learned so much with the Dutch culture that I am not the same anymore. The Dutch way of living is something that I am trying do implement in my life even having returned to Brazil, a country where society tries to imitate the American society.

[@marciamartins1992]

Brazilian here, came to the US as a child, and now, I'm looking for a new country. I've never fit in here. It's sad to me that Brazilians don't value what they have. When it comes to culture, the US is lacking. It's only about money.

[@marciamartins1992]

The US is only about money...nothing to emulate, value what you have.

[@marciamartins1992]

The US is only about money, nothing to emulate. Value what you have.

[@carolineg3079]

The sixes culture is very interesting. I'd never heard anything similar in the UK - growing up there was an imperative to always strive for more and the phrase 'if something is worth doing it is worth doing properly' was accepted wisdom but recently I heard the phrase " if something is worth doing it is worth half doing" which was so liberating. There is more acceptance of the idea of 'not letting perfection be the enemy of good'

[@denisehill7769]

I think I need to move to Holland! Especially love the hospitality thing - I really hate unexpected visits, although I have had one exception to this, and I really dislike mealtimes being interrupted. My family were the worst for this. The more relaxed approach to grades sounds great too.

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Happy to hear those two points resonated with you :) Thanks for sharing your thoughts, have a wonderful weekend!!!

[@deesparklebazinga9374]

I love your culture ❤ I have travelled to Amsterdam several times from the UK and did not know some of the things you have discussed.I have learned so much from this video, thankyou xx

[@susannehermans8882]

I am Dutch and I can confirm most of this video! Very nice description of our amazing culture. For me, I only kinda disagree with the planning everything in advance, but I think I am the exception there. I usually don't have issues changing my dinner plans if people want to stay for dinner, but then I kinda expect them to help out and prepare some food together. When people ask if I have time for them to visit I usually have nothing planned yet, they are always welcome. I think this is a more common thing in the South of the country. (From your 'accent' it sounds like you are not from the South... correct me if I am wrong here...) We always had our back door open when I was growing up. Friends and family just came over with their bikes, park the bikes in the garden and just walked in to ask if we had some coffee and cookies for them... In the cities I guess you can't just leave your door open, so there stuff needs to be planned properly! We did however 'kick them out' when it was time to go, it just didn't happen that often... 😊

[@nyneeveanya8861]

I am so much like you in these things. I learned most of these things from my father. His grandfather was Dutch. It’s nice to know where these values, so different from my mother’s family, came from. I always wondered where he got them from, so thank you for this video❤❤

[@noebuc]

I am amazed at how similar our cultures are. I am from Argentina and many of the points you talked about are quite similar here. Of course, not everything because we are a latin culture where people come to your house whenever they like and also leave whenever they like. Many bring food but some don't. But anyway, I feel very Dutch myself as I think and feel very much like you. It is a great video with information most people that can't travel would never know. Thanks!✨

[@SimpleHappyZen]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, so nice to hear that we have similarities with how you do things over there! :)

[@julielee6144]

Love the 6 out of 10 concept! The pressure that would be reduced on students would be so beneficial in so many ways.Being a perfectionist and always pushing for higher grades was exhausting and l wish your Dutch approach was more prevalent in other countries.Great video ❤

[@mistyvolinski2776]

There is a huge difference between being a perfectionist and being utterly mediocre. Why set such low standards for oneself? I would not want a Dr who got into medschool on sixes,