5 Things I Didn't Expect After Top Surgery

I was pretty well prepared for top surgery, but here are some things I didn't expect! Thanks to Unspoken Voices for the question!
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Henrik Johnson - Time Goes By
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[@jaks4586]

Thanks for sharing! I’m almost three years post-surgery and every once in a blue moon I have a weird experience. While showering and soaping up my chest, I expect them to be there and am (happily) surprised when they’re not! LOL!

[@CelesteM]

I get weird things like that too. That's funny it still happens even years later!

[@sunlightfire5925]

Oddly as a cis woman I get misgendered quite often because of my GNC presentation. But people also probably think I'm a 13 year old boy. Top surgery will likely make it 100 times worse, but hopefully I'll actually be more comfortable in 'feminine' clothing after I get rid of my chest.

[@wrmlm37]

Hopefully as a cis woman with a GNC body, you did what I did. Very small. Rest implants changed my whole view. I started getting looks, like I did before people saw how FLAT I was. I did it for myself, but being appreciated from afar, was weirdly also impacting my self-esteem. I have never regretted my implants. Not once:)

[@unspokenvoices3399]

Omg I screamed when I saw my name in the description and mentioned in the video 🙈 thank you so much for the video ! I loved hearing about your experience and what it was like for you.You’re amazing and so informative & helpful 💚🏳️‍🌈

[@CelesteM]

It was a great question! Thank you so much for giving me a good topic 💗

[@unspokenvoices3399]

Celeste M You’re so welcome ! It’s given me more insight & helped me a bit more in some ways that I can’t exactly put into words but thank you 💜

[@TazTom]

Surgery in a few weeks, AuDHD and mentally preparing for feeling really put off by the body change, so it's a relief to hear it may not be as jarring as I think 😊

[@reeceball]

I totally relate to the second point. I was so worried I wouldn’t feel ok with my chest for whatever reason for awhile after surgery, but I never felt that way. It just felt normal and like it’s always been that way. To the point that the fact I had surgery in order to have my chest now is just weird... I mean I felt that way immediately-basically the same day of surgery I felt like that and I didn’t even see it yet! Haha

[@jfs983]

I'm under 5ft tall so I won't be too surprised when I'm misgendered post top surgery, but ah well.

[@mosthoserr]

Short kings for the win 😌

[@GenderMx]

#2 - YES! Exactly how I felt/feel about my chest post-op

[@neuroticsquirreljack]

I'm watching a big bulk of your videos to prep for my surgery and I just wanted you to know, that there's a noticeable voice change between the years. I know these are 2-3 year old videos, but I thought it'd still be cool to mention. Hope all is still going well!

[@MEGAF00T]

Your videos are super helpful! I’m going into surgery on the 20th and I feel like I’m speed running all of the top surgery related videos on KZbin.

[@CelesteM]

I did the same thing! 😊

[@jamesmildenberger]

You're videos help me so much. I am ftm but have been following your T and top surgery videos and I love them. Keep rockin it!

[@CelesteM]

I'm so happy to hear that! ❤️

[@JenniferSinclair-o3m]

I am cisgender female and I had a free nipple graft technique breast reduction - and I LOVE the results on me!

[@thatonemessyartist1760]

That’s kinda how it was for me after I first cut my hair short, it felt so natural that my brain didn’t even process it. (I also have dissociation, so that may be a part of it) but I adjusted to it fairly quickly, and I felt like a weight had been lifted of my shoulders. I’m hoping to get top surgery a some point, and I feel like it’ll make me a lot more comfortable. I remember when I first started going through puberty, I was really upset about the way my body was changing. I almost felt like I’d never go through a female puberty, and it hit me hard when I did. I was in denial for a long time, and I still kinda am to this day, I never got over the fact that I just don’t feel like myself.

[@gray5828]

It's my turn next month, and revisiting your videos has been so helpful 💜 thank you for all you've done on this channel! Hope life has continued treating you well :)

[@CelesteM]

Congrats and I hope all goes well with your recovery!

[@eabaggins]

Any advice for when you're depressed because you can't get top surgery but are so ready for it?

[@juzchillz]

I’ve always watched your videos. You are always on point. I am post op day 2 now and it feels horrible not being able to do anything. I was quite ambivalent right until they wheeled me to the OR until I woke up and didn’t see the breasts anymore, then I’m just relieved.

[@ThatSpoonieTransGuy]

Oof the last one is very relatable

[@AidaExplorer]

What you mention on minute 3:00 sounds like dissociation. It is a very normal reaction of the brain when something shocking happens in your life.

[@CelesteM]

I've experienced dissociation lots of times and this was different. It wasn't like an unreality or disconnected feeling at all (it was actually the opposite in many ways). It was just a weird adjustment period where my brain had to fully catch up to reality.

[@mikk5540]

Thanks for sharing! I’m on a waiting list for breast reduction surgery . I have two main fears, post surgery depression and that a reduction might not be enough to ease my dysphoria. The surgery was approved because I have a large and heavy chest and I am not out when it comes to my genderqueer identity. I live in Sweden and the operation is covered by insurance. My fear is that if it’s not enough and I contact the gender clinic they won’t take me seriously. Or if I contact the gender clinic before the operation they’ll take back their approval. Sorry for the long and messy comment 😆 I just wanted to share and maybe get some input from someone. 🙂

[@CelesteM]

I don't know much about how things work in Sweden so I don't know what the best thing for you to do would be but I hope someone else has some insight!

[@Saf333]

I just got approved for a reduction myself, same reason, they're huge and I have severe back issues so insurance should cover it. I'm non binary and the gender clinics in my country have been incredibly helpful. Can you tell me more about your experience? Because I don't hear much from people who went the reduction and back pain route.

[@mikk5540]

@@Saf333 oh wow, thanks for bringing me back to this comment. ^^ I ended up getting the surgery in April 2019. Never said anything to the surgeon about being queer and everything went fairly smoothly. After about two years I felt like it was time for that referral to the gender clinic. One year on the waiting list, one year of assessment and then I got the referral for top surgery (and hrt). 3 months ago I had the surgery (same surgeon 😆) and I’m very happy with my journey. Having the reduction was a big relief for the pain and did help with the dysphoria at least while dressed. It gave me space to breathe and think. Lmk if there’s anything specific you wanna know more about. :)

[@Saf333]

@@mikk5540 how was the recovery of the reduction vs the top surgery? And how small did you originally go? I'm hoping i can go for AA right away so i wouldn't need to redo it later. I don't want a fully masc chest, what I do want is something that can be taken as both.

[@mikk5540]

@@Saf333 I’d say mastectomy was definitely tougher. For the reduction I stayed with my parents for a week and then I was fine to live by myself, I was unemployed back then tho. For the mastectomy I had my partner stay with me for 2 weeks and I struggled after they left. It took over a month before I was back to my regular schedule at work (part time). For both surgeries I struggled the most with fatigue, I had a hard time figuring out my limits 😅 For the reduction I told the surgeon to do as small as possible but he just made them what would be considered proportionate to my body size with the presupposition that I was a woman. I never bought a bra after the reduction but before my size was 70H or 65I (EU sizing) and the surgeon removed 1.2kg in total. Not sure if that is of any help 😅

[@Green_devil06]

Uh, I’m curious like do you feel lighter after the top surgery? What was your scariest part of top surgery before you went in to get top surgery?

[@CelesteM]

Yes, I do feel lighter! I don't think there was much I was scared of per se, I was more just nervous about the recovery process because it was something I had never been through before.

[@fizzyplazmuh9024]

P.S. if I accidentally say anything supid or offensive just delete me. I seriously spent my entire gay life learning nothing about trans issue because I was living my own little nightmare and shut all the other drowning people out.

[@kaden9196]

i never get misgendered anymore and i haven’t in years but i found that when i look uglier (like if i didn’t wash my hair that day or shower etc) that i would get misgendered less😂 i haven’t been misgendered in like a year and a half now i think (i’m currently 15) and i started t at 13, getting top surgery within the next few months :)

[@fizzyplazmuh9024]

I haven't watched many of your vids and I don't even know how long you have been on T but you still have a teen voice and a face that is smooth so I think you just have a time lag between T and other effects. Your body is too big for a teen boy so I think that is why you are catching labels from people who don't know who you are. I do not doubt the T will catch up with you. I have no doubt. I am always so jealous of you trans guys results.

[@jenss.3613]

Always this "your body" narrative - as if your body was not you, but literally a thing to cut apart and restructure to your liking. YOU are the body. Cutting apart yourself in form of the chest for "feeling better" is bound to backfire.

[@CelesteM]

Interesting perspective, but coming from a place of misunderstanding. Another way to look at it is that if I am my body, then my desires are my body's desires. Dysphoria, like all emotion, is communication from the body to consciousness. To ignore its message would be to figuratively cut myself off from my body (which is, in fact, what I and many trans people experience before transitioning, especially before recognizing dysphoria for what it is). To answer the message was to collaborate with my body on what we both wanted. I now feel far more aligned with my body than I ever could have before.

[@shanghaiallie]

Except that people diet and work out and get tattoos and piercings and dye their hair and wear lifts in their shoes and get different haircuts and shave and wear makeup and use moisturizer and get plastic surgery and weight reduction surgery literally all the time. Unless you're a hermit that lives on a mountain, you have modified your body to meet an image, partially internal and partially social constructed, of what you "should" look like. Why do you feel the need to police how other people choose to modify their bodies to match their own image?

[@The_inner_ascent]

Lol top surgery wth, what a wacky world we live in. Good luck to ya person