Toilets, bowties, gender and me | Audrey Mason-Hyde | TEDxAdelaide

Why is it so important for us to know someone else's gender? We live in a gendered world, but for Audrey, gender is fluid at best an uncomfortable construct. Is there a way to be less reliant on gender in our interactions with people? And what does this mean when it comes to the clothes we wear, or even which toilet we choose to use? If you met Audrey Mason-Hyde, you might think Audrey was a boy, which isn’t quite correct, but calling Audrey a girl doesn’t feel quite right either. At 12 years old, Audrey is already an accomplished actor with film and TV credits, including 52 Tuesdays, a film that won the Directing Award at Sundance Film Festival and the Crystal Bear, judged by the youth jury at the Berlin International Film Festival. With a fierce intellect and a unique sense of style, Audrey has plenty to say about our gendered world. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

[@Irene-zb1zv]

I am upset.. I can't see the flamingo socks.

[@missyc13]

Happy socks sells them :)

[@cherryyt9908]

Agreed

[@missyc13]

@Daniel Lastname I do, each time I get my salary I go see if they have new ones or if I can replace old ones. Most comfy socks I've ever had.

[@RedBlueberryAnimates]

Same I want to see them and have them

[@franziskahoene7992]

me too :( i love those socks

[@vanessared765]

Dude... My first thought was ‘YOU’RE A WISERD HARRY!’

[@castrx]

Hahahaha I had to read this 4 times before I figured out you were saying wizard 🤣🤣 I get it now...

[@sadforever0129]

Vanessa Red Is that a gender?

[@castrx]

@@sadforever0129 no... like Harry Potter.

[@yoytu863]

Me too... 😂

[@Emily-ye1rj]

US response to British tweens with short hair and glasses.

[@anjaliborschel]

"sometimes i'm glad people mistake me for a boy because I get to have real conversations" this was one of the realest things i've heard

[@Alexis-nd9kw]

i felt that too

[@masonthejar8890]

damn me too even though I only am seen as a boy 10-20% of the time but it’s better than nothing 🤠

[@pattytum2]

Yea

[@moyrarobertson4562]

That's very sad 😢.

[@anjaliborschel]

@V S hi, people have lived outside the gender binary for literally hundreds of years! this is not a new concept, but it is being introduced to people more than ever before. nonbinary and intersex people have always existed, and i'm so glad that there are more resources, such as this video, to help us all learn more :)

[@cl0ud230]

Okay but can we talk about their curls-

[@soudaspants2557]

Curls be on point

[@socialanxiety9153]

Their curls are everything

[@beaniecollection5152]

They’re so good! The curls I mean. The kid too though.

[@brooksmith3643]

Those curls are cute-

[@victorjones1225]

Their?? 🤔

[@watchmedo635]

Only 12! An incredible speaker

[@gaylordsupreme8824]

Wait, that kid is just 12?

[@deadchannel9105]

Watch Me Do ONLY 12 ????

[@xbduf4gb]

Watch Me Do coached by parents

[@impactz7652]

Get Help A script isn’t what makes someone a good speaker

[@xz740]

@@impactz7652 Rehearsals and coaching

[@Everyha1123]

“What do you think when you see me?” My brain: a CHILD. (Yes. The vine.)

[@averymarkow3815]

NO

[@Metzerii]

I LOVE

[@doggone7761]

AAronSaROS that kinda what I thought

[@DAndreaElise]

AAronSaROS my thought exactly!

[@pandabear9305]

I see a person with great style 👌👌👌

[@queenvivi5673]

"Does it really matter to know someone's gender???" good question.

[@Sam-zu5mr]

Yes. You wouldn't like it if you were in the swimming baths unchanged and a feminised male walked in and started taking his clothes off right next to you or young girls. Gender identifying COUNTS within society like it or not.

[@thelingeringartist]

@@Sam-zu5mr Eh. I wouldn’t care. Long as they aren’t hurting me or making me uncomfortable. 😑

[@jupiterbeans284]

it matters to know pronouns, but imo no, it doesn't matter who you are :)

[@libbykeen6379]

Rhys as a girl with a lot of female friends (who agree with me) if we knew they weren’t doing it to be creepy but because that’s where they felt comfortable we honestly wouldn’t mind, and it’s quite clear to see if they were doing it with ill intention. The issue comes when people say someone would take advantage of that system. That’s why most places with changing rooms have security of some sort nearby. And at the end of the day that would occur far more rarely than people say it would. So allowing it would do far more good than bad

[@graemeroberts3069]

@@Sam-zu5mr that is the problem right there. Why wouldn't you like it?

[@whatever-tk2pp]

Bruh the first thing i thought was how is this 12 year old child literally giving a TED Talk and i am here doing nothing 24/7😌

[@hotrightnow8932]

same

[@Hdgsgdhsh]

12? .....12? .... I couldn’t do that at 35 LOL amazing !

[@filip6127]

@@anomalous5549 and a much better one at that. TED is pretentious and pseudo intellectual

[@Very_Silly_Individual]

Because this kid literally only exists to spread a political ideology, and you only exist to consume it 💀

[@Very_Silly_Individual]

@@filip6127 word

[@gerrybrown7488]

No one:... Microphone: Yo, this breathing ain't loud enough, let's kick it up a notch

[@bongozum]

b r e a t h e

[@hearts_ease]

B R E A T H ! ! !

[@sadbreathing2716]

*breathes in your ear*

[@hailey-yp2pu]

ｂｒｅａｔｈ

[@angelaliu4400]

B r e a t h e

[@sunishthanangal1121]

The most impressive thing was that all the people in audience were elderly. It feels good, to see one generation trying to understand the other with an open mind.

[@brightangerine]

You are right! We try...It would be great if younger generations would understand our paradigms...I love Audrey!

[@sunishthanangal1121]

@@brightangerine Haha!! Yes Mrs. Maria, I completely agree with you!! 😊

[@juliabernett9454]

My grandparents hate these kind of things witch is sad

[@rubynelson1164]

Many older adults have struggled with the same issues that Audrey does. Just because you are older does not mean that you are a different species.

[@PippinFinnArt]

@A M. More than 2. There are a variety of non-binary (meaning not fitting into 2) but it kind of depends on who you ask. There are, however, certainly more than 2.

[@user-dn9vd9xg9p]

One room Unisex restrooms would solve all the restroom problems. We transitioned to these in retail instead of having one large room with many stalls, we transitioned the stalls to one room stalls with privacy with each door opening on the outside walls. Solved all bathroom issues with this. Schools should do the same.

[@sugarcuts1535]

*walk on stage* Me: *looks at rainbow pin* MY PRIDE SENCES ARE TINGELINGGGGG 🏳️‍🌈

[@youdontneedtoknowthis.2031]

You call it gaydar.

[@azulBjort_1406]

🌈-(￢∀￢)σ

[@kanalkucker14]

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

[@genefashtoon9668]

same

[@emilistrans441]

Same my Gaydar was going off

[@berucrat]

HOW ARE THEY SO GOOD AT TALKING W H A T

[@xbduf4gb]

Berucrat Her parents coached and wrote the script

[@Bhatt_Hole]

Maybe the most helpful question you could ask is: Are they really "so good" at it? Or, is it that you just aren't very good at it?

[@loltadynicneni913]

@@Bhatt_Hole Why do you immediately need to turn it around against the person complimenting someone successful at a not very easy task? You might not have realized it but that hurts.

[@gorehog04]

Got so confused reading this, this is why I hate they them pronouns

[@berucrat]

@@gorehog04 this is basic english.. do you need me to teach you?

[@lemonboy3473]

"What do you think when you see me" I think your so cute omg i want to pinch your cheeks

[@robbierieger3462]

I thought that too 😂 also I LOVE YOUR USERNAME AND PROFILE PICTURE

[@hanfarahman7432]

Ikr the kids adorable

[@tasha1955]

I was literally just thinking that. Love the cavetown pfp ahhh.

[@nico-ke1nn]

I bet it’d be easy to be kind to such a bitter boy like you ;) (I looove Cavetown)

[@hailey-yp2pu]

Omg sameee so adorable 😩🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰

[@azul4904]

honestly this ted talk is just what I needed, being young and not really understanding how to label yourself is one of the most frustrating things there are, and im glad that they could explain it SO WELL and at such a young age.

[@basedanddadpilled959]

Labels are extremely harmful.

[@azul4904]

@@basedanddadpilled959 thats a strong claim- they can be, but they’re also a way to find and understand yourself and your identity. they’re not dangerous or harmful by themselves, we all have em

[@basedanddadpilled959]

@@azul4904 developing your identity through labels is eerily similar to tribalism in many aspects and the obsession that white westerners have with how others perceive them is exacerbating an already severe mental health crisis.

[@onikarutherford7021]

@@basedanddadpilled959 and what's wrong with tribalism? seems like you need to decolonize your thinking, my friend

[@twigthekid4025]

“Are you a boy or a girl?” Bro I’m literally just swag 😎

[@sunshinescribbles9895]

“Are you a boy or a girl?” Me: no✨ “No liek- are you a boy or girl?” Me: no✨ “No- like, what’s between your legs?” Me: Air✨ “UGH- WHATS IN YOUR TROUSERS?!” me: I’m not wearing trousers ✨😎 I’m wearing a dress

[@user-kv7pr7xs6k]

THE TURN TO SLAM POETRY AT THE END WAS ICONIC

[@Why-uo7cj]

지훈 *Y E S* THE SLAM POETRY AT THE END DOES NOT GET ENOUGH RECOGNITION. 👏👏👏👏

[@Praecosmile]

thanks for warning me to turn this off

[@thetntchicken142]

Yes that was amazing

[@marshmallowcat1889]

Praecosmile what’s wrong with slam poetry?

[@bellamckinnon8655]

Marshmallowcat18 yeah, man I love slam poetry. but in some cases, it can seem too preachy. maybe that’s what they feel

[@beecool9380]

"Denounce Gender Roles, But Respect Gender Identity."

[@hahahahahohohoho5085]

why?

[@swgadrunq1700]

Hahahaha Hohohoho because thats respectful?

[@hahahahahohohoho5085]

@@swgadrunq1700 why that combination in particular? Who decided on that? Why not respect both, or just the other? Why is being respectful such a high virtue? What if being respectful collides with an individual's personal belief?

[@rainbowpanic5632]

@@hahahahahohohoho5085 Why would you rather be rude than respectful? Even if you're beliefs are against what the other person is believing to be true, by not being respectful, you are also colliding with their beliefs. Even this 12 year old in the Ted Talk was able to be respectful to those who don't agree. Why can't you?

[@ramonavisconti674]

@@hahahahahohohoho5085 Because gender roles imply that if you are a certain gender, you need to act and behave a certain way. Yes, some people fit in their gender roles, but at the same time it excludes a ton of people

[@samthenotwinchester5518]

Okay but how is this twelve year old so good at style and and public speaking and at articulating their thoughts and feelings??? I’m jealous of a twelve year old now thanks

[@juliahart8593]

Okay, but they're incredibly intelligent and accomplished for a 12-year-old. I didn't NEARLY start to have any actual accomplishments or consciousness about thinking and speaking eloquently until at least a year later. Amazing job you awesome enby 👍!

[@sarahkerr7540]

That last minute was poetry. Solid poetry. And solid poetry is incredibly scarce on the internet.

[@Alexandra-ip2by]

True.

[@onesiedot5239]

it made me tear up damn it was intense

[@pepeshadilay3834]

It's not poetry it's called confusion

[@Sydney-qw4ev]

Look up button poetry on KZbin- stories from all kinds of people in the form of poetry. It's pretty intense and incredibly moving

[@jessmacdd]

@Non-Ugandan Knuckles if the cat is male, the testicles/balls are usually quite easy to see, below the base of the tail. female cats don't have balls, obviously, but if you're still not sure, taking the cat to the vet is another way to figure it out.

[@ratthew8287]

seeing a female name in the talk's title and an androgynously styled kid on the thumbnail i thought 'yeah it's probably gonna feel like a walk through tumblr' but man was i wrong. audrey is more reasonable and articulate at their twelve than most adults i know. i cant remember the last time i was so imoressed by a ted talk.

[@evaeldora464]

Wow, harsh. Tumblr is also insightful, you’re just looking at it from the wrong angle

[@SpeedOfTheEarth]

@@evaeldora464 +

[@ambivalentambiguity6435]

Kids and teens (specifically around the ages 11-18) are generally more insightful and in lack of a better word smarter than adults. A reason for this is that the hormonal changes in their brains cause them to creat more neurons quicker and develope their brains rapidly. This causes kids to have more questions about life and these questions if answered also can give people a deeper understanding of life itself. So it makes sense why the best ted talk is made by a 12 year old

[@FutureBereaAlumn]

vince the ratboy names don’t have genders.

[@maryjane-ip3tr]

@@evaeldora464 Tumblr is the most idiotic thing out there.. nothing but feelings and colored hair.

[@09anushkasariyal77]

They got such a wonderful fashion sense

[@09anushkasariyal77]

Thanks for the likes it means a lot to me 🙂🙂🙂🙂

[@blackflag5148]

You mean she.

[@09anushkasariyal77]

@@blackflag5148 nope

[@blackflag5148]

@@09anushkasariyal77 She's biologically a female

[@sourdough6622]

@@blackflag5148 and?

[@ameyer3408]

Audrey is 12!!!!!! Wow!! Such confidence and such gorgeous use of the English language. Great message too.

[@ambivertsorcerer5644]

Wait- what?! I thought they were between 16 And 18 wtf. (Even considered 20something, because masculine presenting afabs tend to look much younger than they are, but they said they're still in school so that wouldn't make much sense.)

[@LilDietz6]

Regardless of stance, I think we can all agree that this kid is going places. So articulate and professional!

[@kaidenbruhn6561]

Going places, as in Tumblr? Gender studies in uni? lol

[@holamovie9343]

Kaiden Bruhn you might wanna do that, but not everyone does.

[@madampawsy1903]

@@kaidenbruhn6561 haha very funny .-.

[@ottozagala991]

She’s in some incredible tv shows. Stunning actor

[@teydegennaro]

@@ottozagala991 sorry to correct you 4 months later, but Audrey said they go by they and them.

[@MechanizedPlant]

"what do you think when you see me? " Me: mini human

[@bonthebunnycat667]

LMAO

[@rowantaylor335]

i thought the same! my brain just though: smol

[@jonah.serrato]

That reminds me of Arizona Robins in Grey’s Anatomy. She calls the children “Tiny humans” and the parents are “Creators of the tiny humans”.

[@softsunlightnaiad]

@@rowantaylor335 same

[@joannakomorowska358]

*cute & wise tiny human

[@cyrusr1927]

Audrey goes to my high school, in the year below me. They seem just as cool here than in real life, from what I can see although I don't really know them.

[@melododie]

Aw that's great to hear! :)

[@Alexis-nd9kw]

Epic

[@synchronuse]

Her, and who else?

[@Alexis-nd9kw]

@@synchronuse no just one person, audrey

[@ryoba.]

@@synchronuse what do you mean "her"?

[@ewitsindi]

Audrey is literally one of the nicest people I know. I went to their primary school and i’m moving to their high school soon. My sister has been friends with them for a long time. They’re also an amazing actor too. I remember when they were Peter Pan in our school musical (Peter Pan). When they moved to high school, they literally got a lead in every musical they had been in. Audrey is literally one of my biggest inspirations. I’m so glad that they gave a Ted Talk. AND IT HAS OVER ONE MILLION VIEWS! I hope that people who know them, see them around quite often, or used to hang around them in primary school see this. They can see how far they’ve come and if they have mis gendered them before, this could help.

[@ellaeadig263]

I am so proud of Audrey and I've never even met them, lol. They seem really lovely!

[@cassidydeneau7076]

I wish I was this articulate when I was twelve.

[@chalronbjork4766]

Wow, so humble aren't you just! Nothing quite like blowing your own trumpet.

[@DianaSofiaCraft]

@Chalron Bjork I honestly have no idea what you mean and I'm curious, so can you explain please?

[@DarayaVahu]

SAME! 10 years later I'm still not even close to be that articulate 🙎‍♀️

[@SydneySininen]

I wish I was this articulate at all

[@auxangess]

@@chalronbjork4766 ... they're complimenting the kid in the video, not themselves, you muppet.

[@peterwalker3093]

I saw this talk live, and watching it again now makes me remember what a composed, articulate and nuanced talk it was. Awesome, Audrey!

[@OOInhalingToxicOO]

I was blown away when they stepped forward and it went from a wonderfully eloquent presentation to a poem! I don’t know if it was intentional but there was such a smooth transition.

[@TheNewMailLady]

Awesome!! I wish I could go to a TED talk so much!

[@bellac6311]

Can I just say their style is 10/10

[@spookiestking9353]

I'm a trans guy yet on my non-dysphoric days I like to wear skirts and put on makeup, I love when people are like ??? when they look at me

[@davestrider7024]

IASIDWUF8 THE WAY CIS PEOPLE LOOK AT ME SOMETIMES IS JUST SO FUNNY

[@davestrider7024]

@Judy laughed cuz i cracked a joke yeah, getting mad would just make it worse. most of them are old people who cant really change their point of view

[@katshik2282]

I know this isn't the point of the talk but my first thought when seeing the thumbnail was "what a cutie"

[@xiuminissexy8963]

Kat Shik same

[@pedomcpedoson6213]

Same :D

[@whaleness1425]

Same

[@aub9769]

Merrill George “her”

[@allisonjuno7654]

@@aub9769 yeah im pretty sure those are her preffered pronouns

[@emmarensin226]

We’re finally listening to the younger generation and I’m P U M P E D

[@SpeedOfTheEarth]

+

[@mysteriousandforeboding]

y e s

[@ginaleason1544]

Oh yeah we're listening to 12 year olds!

[@ginaleason1544]

@carter valdez How do you know all that? Are you a PhD at Biology? I dont think they agree with any of your analysis here buddy

[@summerdelossantos4655]

Sweatt We know more than you think we know. What information do you have? How to plant a godamn potato? How to break a glove? How to read a book?

[@arwenschild6406]

They are one of the most calm and well-spoken human beings I ever listened to. What a wonderful insight, thank you.

[@adam-jenniferbilly3904]

See this is my only issue, if someone wants to be non binary by all means be what you want but can we please come up with proper pronouns. They implies more than one and therefore sounds like if it's one person there is a multi personality disorder. I mean seriously referring back to basic English grammar they means more than one. So someone please come up with something different than they, their, or them.

[@arwenschild6406]

@@adam-jenniferbilly3904 I do disagree with you. “They” is also used when the gender of someone is unknown and no one bothered with it before.

[@adam-jenniferbilly3904]

@@arwenschild6406 Try reading a news article and tell me that it's not confusing and you think more than one person is involved. I know "they" can be both singular and plural but it's in how the context is used. For example: I recently read an article that was talking about Demi Lovato and this is what it said. "Lovato sought treatment at the age of 18 after they got into a fight with one of their backup dancers". Does that not sound like it's referring to more than one person?

[@dawnjones82]

Audrey is an excellent speaker, very articulate

[@helloperson2429]

As a non-bianary person, who does have long hair, and was marked female at birth, this really hits home in a different way. Yes, visually I look like a she/her, but still- It feels wrong to be titled as 'pretty' or ' girly ' or ' tom-boy '. I am me, and me is them or they, or even my name instead of gender forward terms. Yes, all of my family, and friends at the moment still call ne she/her, despite them being well aware I'd much rather them/they, and no, I don't hold it agents them- Because deep down, It doesn't matter all that much to me. I am human, and that's all that matters. It doesn't matter is someone is a boy, or a girl, or unisex, or what body parts they have, or what they wear, or their hair cuts, or skin tones- or even beliefs.. All that matters, Is their human. And so are you.

[@anonymouslymj1064]

And that's why you treat people equally. :)

[@lazdahuman]

unisex? i think the word you're looking for is non-binary, but other than that, well-said!

[@Jesuslovesmeeandyouu]

ment up and down the place

[@pamplemoussejuice8427]

Damn this turned into slam poetry at the end beautifully said

[@idahornstra1472]

I completely agree! Every sentence that came out of Audrey's mouth flowed like music with the rest of the speech.

[@pepeshadilay3834]

This is not poetry this is confusion

[@austynbaker7519]

ZAELISMENOS ISOBITIS no it’s poetry they aren’t confused

[@pepeshadilay3834]

@@austynbaker7519 sure whatever delusion makes you happy.

[@goaway5872]

@@pepeshadilay3834 shut

[@cecily8441]

New gender labels (gender-fluid, so on) might make us a little bit confused, but as long as it makes Audrey and people experiencing similar things more comfortable, I'll be glad to learn them. Or not use them at all, though it is difficult. Audrey speaks so well. It is a child talking, unmistakably, but in a beautifully articulate way. This is a tedx I really enjoyed.

[@bloodyhell4806]

@Nick Smith scientifically there are 4 but k

[@cjck1344]

A M. how tf is it sexist lmao

[@goosedotjpg]

Cecilyˎ₍•ʚ•₎ˏ THANK YOU!!!! I’m getting tired of seeing all of the bigots in the comments! This was nice to see

[@allisonjuno7654]

@A M. please explain how its sexism

[@allisonjuno7654]

@Nick Smith how is this someones fantasy? i've heard people say that a lot but what specifically do you mean by it?

[@hakunnamattata4479]

This was really affirming for me to watch. I've recently come to terms with the fact that I'm nonbinary, and it's been really hard. I feel like a freak, and that no one will ever accept me. This helped me to realize that I shouldn't constantly be striving to make other comfortable with my gender identity, but that I should strive to make myself happy.

[@OldschoolHIT360]

Cope

[@fpattbergfpattberg7825]

Only 65% of woman and men conform roles and expectations of their gender. That's does no make the 35% freaks! If nobody acept you is nothing to do with your gender, is because your social skills and sense of identity is really bad. Accept yourself, be mindfull of your social limitations, get a Asperger/Autism diagnosis if you get the extreme, but no needed.

[@blackbird1652]

as a young trans guy I think it’s incredible how they can talk in front of hundreds of people about a topic it took me over 15 years to talk to anyone, even my closest family about

[@allyssach]

They are beautiful. Everything about that talk is beautiful.

[@obhetefdhone]

Beautiful? 12yo experiencing gender identity confusion is beautiful to you? Wow..

[@jonnymorales8841]

Obet Efdon you clearly did not understand the video

[@obhetefdhone]

@@jonnymorales8841 I think i understand the video very clearly. They (Audrey) is a non binary gender. Where is the beautiful part from feeling of not belong to any gender, being different from your parents, siblings, friends? I only see agony, nothing beautiful. I believe this video made to rise awarness for majority to be more sensitive on handling gender issue. Lets praise their (Audrey) communication skill, how articulate they are, smart, etc. But again, i don't see anything beautiful from their story! I feel their pain.

[@jamesc1446]

@@obhetefdhone I think the person meant about how it's beautiful that Audrey is embracing their identity and living as proudly as they can, rather than keeping it inside and pretending to be someone they aren't.

[@obhetefdhone]

@@jamesc1446 I surely hope so! I am happy that society more accepting LQBTQ, but I am worry that they get/ send wrong message. Improper praise takes away the important point: the pain that these people have to experience in daily life. Because not everybody as lucky as Audrey whom has great parents that enable them to express themself. Btw, I agree with you that someone characters what make them beautiful, not their gender identity/ orientation.

[@oliviax7232]

I WANT TO KNOW EVERYBODYS GENDER So I know what pronouns to use Edit: I know now that gender doesn’t equal pronouns

[@erasmusb.draggin2022]

How about “y’all”?

[@camilacastelo6815]

ask the person which pronoun they prefer ;)

[@Tanemo1609]

I have a non binary friend whom I call 'they' and 'them', so I guess you could use that

[@literalnightowl5181]

@@Tanemo1609 I use they/them pronouns when I talk about anyone that I don't know. It's become my default.

[@oliviax7232]

camila castelo thanks I’ll do this from now on

[@50sRockChick]

What an eloquent young person.

[@aidennevilla2455]

The little laugh before talking about their style was so cute

[@broomski2673]

i have a friend that's trans but not out at school so to avoid misgendering i use their name instead of pronouns like "yeah (friends name) and i went to (friends name's) grandparents house and i met (friends name's) grandparents' cats and then we went out to eat." might sound a little weird sometimes but it's better than misgendering

[@nekomata5059]

my girlfriend does that too because theres nothing like them in german

[@mrbust999]

@Lana Joy it would be more creepy if you use a plural noun for a singular person.

[@jessmacdd]

@@mrbust999 it actually is grammatically correct to use they/them pronouns to describe a singular person.

[@mothman9036]

thankyou stranger. for trying to make your friend that one bit more comfortable. as someone who is trans myself it really does mean the world thanks for being an ally

[@tacocatt6808]

Brook Franz use “their/them” too lol. They’re not plural exclusive and they are gender neutral pronouns

[@chloemartinez8237]

This 12 year old deserves an award,there is definitely hope for the future generation ,less labels more love and respect 👀🌈🙌🏻❤️

[@luciferchamp1381]

She increased labels by adding 'they'. 🙄😑

[@IcelandicElfSpotter]

We have more labels - there are now 72 genders.

[@ac6536]

Wait they’re TWELVE ? Wow I’m even more impressed

[@myiawerk7400]

There are ✌2🅱️⚁➗⏸⏏👆👇👈👉🤞👐🤘🤙👏👀💕💤🐾🍃🍣🍻🥂🍪🍴🥈🖇 T-W-O genders

[@myiawerk7400]

@@IcelandicElfSpotter There are ✌2🅱️⚁➗⏸⏏👆👇👈👉🤞👐🤘🤙👏👀💕💤🐾🍃🍣🍻🥂🍪🍴🥈🖇 T-W-O genders

[@gillt1975]

Amazing for a 12 year old to be so articulate and well spoken in such a public setting talking about something so personal!

[@Alexis-nd9kw]

definitely

[@earthiusproject]

what an old soul... so eloquent, so uncompromising... so admirable

[@krisoller6276]

Bowties are cool.

[@HLB313]

Kris Oller not as cool as Audrey.

[@k8lynmae]

Bolo Ties will always be my favourite. Then regular ties, and I love when feminine women wear them.

[@soph9141]

Dr who!

[@lourobin5927]

Geronimo :)

[@definitelynotathena]

I hate apples

[@ZS890204]

In my language there is no he/she, we use one word. So I never thought when I was younger how much frustration this can cause for people whos language does contain gender. I am always just randomly using he/she even if someone is clearly female or male, and I have to quickly correct myself. Simply because I grew up with no gender, so doesn't really come automatically when I speak anyway. On the other note I'm just so impressed by Audrey's speech. Till now I would probably just faint, sweat, get red and be lost in words. 😅

[@eternallyexistential1103]

That's interesting! What's your language if you dont mind me asking?

[@torquedawg1004]

Same here! Pretty much all the pronouns in my language are gender-neutral

[@jillfanning749]

What is this language?

[@torquedawg1004]

@@jillfanning749 After some heavy research (aka a few google searches), I'm guessing they might be Hungarian?

[@luvblueybingoheeler3150]

Zsuzsi Tóth I’d assume that there was some places that don’t have male and female pronouns.

[@honeybrains]

I'm planning on showing this to my mother to come out as non-binary,,, I think this will really help her understand what I'm going through. Thanks Audrey!!

[@tinamehl5102]

What is non-binary?

[@fe_fanby2278]

@@tinamehl5102 It's an umbrella term meaning you don't identify exclusively as male or female. You might identify with a mixture of both, be neutral, be fluid (as in, you move from one gender to another), or feel as though you have no gender at all. I hope that cleared it up and was an okay definition.

[@Alexis-nd9kw]

@@fe_fanby2278 that was a good definition

[@fe_fanby2278]

@@Alexis-nd9kw why thank you!

[@dorothyanngoh184]

I JUST SHARED THIS VIDEO TO MY WHOLE FACEBOOK FEED AND LEFT PEOPLE AT WITHOUT EXPLAINING THAT YES THIS IS ME COMING OUT

[@etherealsoliloquy]

I’ve watched their talk several times and i’m constantly impressed by how good of a speaker they are and that poetry at the end?? genius.

[@honorn5764]

person walks onto the ted talks stage me: wow, they’re young person: what do u think when u see me me: ur rly young note: i like to know people’s gender because then i can use the correct pronouns. the english language has evolved around gender specific grammar rules, i rly wish it hadn’t, but there’s not much i can do. so i use the pronoun that person seems to want to use based on how they look. if that fails, then i kind of don’t talk or ask about them until it becomes clearer. i have friends who struggle with their gender and i’ve seen how much it affects them, so i try to be as respectful as possible

[@domc9801]

Mustache Fox I mean if I get it wrong cause I can’t read there mind they can just tell me, like a civil human

[@yarn0v0]

When I first say them my first thought was that they had pretty eyes lol

[@1970Mom]

The only thing, is that I've see people get pissed for either being misaddressed or even being questioned how they would like to be addressed. Some persons have no problem yet others become outright indignant.

[@kikibplays]

@@1970Mom I'm an American expat and I've had Canadian expats get offended when I ask if they're American, so I started asking North American-sounding people "Are you American, or Canadian?" When it comes to gender, which can be a way more sensitive topic than nationality, most people are totally happy to have someone ask their pronouns rather than unknowingly misgender them (just like the Canadians who don't want me to assume they're American). You could just say "By the way, what pronouns do you prefer? I use she and her" (or whatever yours are). It's simple and prevents hurtful misunderstandings. And when in doubt, just stick with they/them until the person tells you differently.

[@randomfandom3343]

They dress like a kid version of The Doctor. I think that’s so cool. I also keep revisiting this talk. It took me until college to have this amount of personal insight. Much respect and love for Audrey.

[@patrickmc4851]

That's so funny the first thing I thought was maybe this should be the next Doctor Who and then yours was their third comment from the top.

[@bingus7731]

"What do you think when you see me" Me: Damn, that hair is *f l o o f* , I wish I had that too

[@RodneyDodson]

That’s interesting. When I was eight years old, I had already been asked if I was a boy or a girl probably hundreds of times. One day a boy at school asked, “are you a boy or a girl.” I wondered if he would treat me differently if I responded that I was a girl this time. So I did. He seemed to be a lot nicer and more apologetic than the reaction i typically received from people.

[@amirgerayli3571]

"Because in boy dress i felt more me" Somone explain this to my parents

[@casper2166]

@A M. i think its like masculine clothes

[@casper2166]

@A M. yeah absolutely! like wear whatever you want, i meant traditionally masculine clothes like suits, not saying that feminine-presenting people cant wear them, i fully support anyones clothing choices :)

[@xz740]

Yes there’s no such thing as “boy dress”. Anyone can wear whatever clothes they like. The sooner people stop expressing sexist ideas about what boys or girls are supposed to wear, the better.

[@Feisenbach]

@@xz740 Yes, and then maybe we can rid of the non-binary sexists.

[@xz740]

@@Feisenbach Exactly

[@MarySanchez-qk3hp]

Holy cow. Maybe there's more hope for the world than I thought. This young person is eloquent, genius, serious, funny, independent, and I never would've looked as good in pants like those. May Audrey's light continue to shine as brightly as the years go by, and never dim.

[@jos4558]

💗

[@dobbysrightsock]

ok but *can* we just talk about their current outfit- its literally so cool looking- i want that style

[@Charlie-ez5zr]

What a confident twelve year old. They were so great at public speaking. And I love their style.

[@nebula1oftheseven488]

I think young Doctor Who 😂

[@atlasi5872]

Bowties are cool

[@caseygecko]

they're literally an actor if they don't grow up to play the doctor i will be disappointed in the world

[@kikibplays]

Geronimo!

[@eririan_]

I agree

[@jsjdjdj0xoxxx]

The first thing that came to my mind was...Thas some really aesthetic style😂😂😂

[@APersonTM]

That last minute was like a poem and left me with chills

[@Alexis-nd9kw]

Yeah ikr! Like a slam poem

[@anidamien]

This is the talk that got me thinking about gender about a year ago and now I'm going through voice deepening. Thanks mate

[@anidamien]

@A M. I'd like to say your ignorance is the problem, not self discovery. Thanks for bringing that kind of negativity in this world for something that doesn't affect you.

[@Alexis-nd9kw]

Epic! Are you feeling better now?

[@anidamien]

@@Alexis-nd9kw yep yep =)

[@crowspears3265]

How is it going?

[@anidamien]

@@crowspears3265 currently in therapy!! I should be on testosterone by this summer=)

[@audreymolina8142]

MY NAME IS ALSO AUDREY AND I AM ALSO GENDER NONCONFORMING AND I ALSO WEAR BOW TIES ALL THE TIME!!!!! We need to be friends

[@titanichydra8094]

i love ties

[@alisharoberts]

Lana Joy bow ties are cool

[@xz740]

Is a bow toe a gender marker?

[@maddiheinrich3557]

i am friends with audrey she would LOVE to be friends with you xoxo

[@gcmatters]

SUCH A TALENTED 12 YEAR OLD. I ADORE THEM.

[@godhateseveryonewhodoesntr5977]

You know how wrong that sounds right?

[@ananya9931]

@@godhateseveryonewhodoesntr5977 it's fa9...it might sound odd cuz we r not used to it

[@melloheya]

GodHatesEveryoneWhoDoesn'tReadTheBible ????

[@cyrusbruch9832]

GodHatesEveryoneWhoDoesn'tReadTheBible lmao wtf do you mean?

[@stoplookingatme8412]

Wait they r 12?

[@gelatinous6915]

"What's the first thing you think when you see me?" SMOL GAE BEAN

[@butter9713]

Gelatinous gae?

[@caetanonotrabalho4869]

what confused me most was that i didnt know if they were 10 or 23 years old until i read the description of the video lol keep up the good work kid! as a gnc myself, its very comforting to see gnc non-binary and trans kids live out loud and proud like this

[@Ink_farm_art]

I'm a 50 year old non-conforming female. I hate women's bathrooms, being called "big man", being invisible. I admire you greatly for being able to speak your truth at such a young age. Thank you.

[@susanbarnes2323]

Cv by

[@robynb7083]

What does, not conforming mean ?

[@cheer07]

I love this comment so much! 💖

[@komaliwings7209]

@@robynb7083 not conforming to what society deems is the correct look/behaviour for a person of that gender. For example a gender non-conforming woman may wear men’s clothes, have short hair, and a more masculine presence in general. A gender conforming woman may wear dresses and have long hair.

[@RareGamer-jm7gu]

@@komaliwings7209 AKA, a tomboy, why can't it be that simple?

[@uhohspagheti0sss]

I STRIVE to look like that. Audrey is such a beautiful person!!

[@eef3790]

after realizing that i myself, am non binary, this video really helped me accepting that the world is indeed a judmental place. thank you

[@mansijoshi809]

Very educational. I have read a lot about gender fluidity but this ted talk explains much more and makes us understand the gender more.

[@SirMykus]

My BotSenses are tingling…

[@jenniferpiper4293]

Ironically my first thought was "what an interesting small human". Such a well spoken and brave individual. While I may not share all your views, I respect and even admire you for sharing them in way that might help others be more understanding. Thank you for being you! Keep up the good work.

[@xbduf4gb]

Jennifer Piper You liked the parents views then?

[@autumnsprite]

@@xbduf4gb why are you so adamant that children are not capable of independent thought? Not every young person just regurgitates the views of their parents

[@xbduf4gb]

Leah Not everyone, but some do. And this sounds scripted.

[@autumnsprite]

@@xbduf4gb well it obviously won't be improv, it's a TED talk not open mic night. I'm fairly certain you have to submit a draft of what you're going to say (though i could be wrong about that)

[@xbduf4gb]

Leah You rehearse and memorise the speech.

[@PanShio_]

This is the first time I ever hear someone explaining EXACTLY how I feel. Woah

[@readmore3634]

Who you are (to me) is determined by what's inside from the neck up. Conversation gradually reveals your identity....and is why everyone applauded.

[@theautisticnebula]

Maturity and wisdom for one so young. We need more like Audrey. They are going to do great things

[@absoluteunit8027]

This Ted tak ended up being more relatable than I thought, whoa

[@myiawerk7400]

If that's relatable then you need help

[@absoluteunit8027]

@@myiawerk7400 Thanks for sharing

[@jovanaspasojevic5049]

@@myiawerk7400 Are u okay? I think you may need some help

[@NaomiKFCHutchin]

What an eloquent young person

[@Steve1000ish]

Confused* young person. And her parents even more confused.

[@mackenziedotson9216]

This kid is a better speaker than my interpersonal communications instructor in every way possible

[@MissionNeetPgMarch]

I aspire to have this kid's confidence.

[@harri05]

When they are older they NEED to play Doctor Who!!

[@themaggattack]

This is one person, not a collective. How about a singular non gender specific pronoun? Like "Shim" or something like that?

[@daisyc1727]

WhatAWorld 😂😂 that’s funny but I guess a nice idea

[@EmmeDLS]

@@themaggattack this term exist in spanish, and all the people make fun of it, Is not realy a best option than they/them. Pd : sorry for my bad inglish.

[@thecupidstunt]

@@themaggattack If you are talking about someone and don't identify their gender, the person you are talking to would probably say they when referring to one person

[@danatronics9039]

@@themaggattack "You" also used to be exclusively plural, but is now valid for singular subjects. "They" can be the same.

[@cait_shell.04]

Oh my gosh! This kid is going places! For some reason I feel really proud of Audrey! Good on you for being so confident and for telling the world everything I've been trying to tell people for ages now!

[@Feisenbach]

Oh yes, she's going places. First stop: a mental clinic.

[@marty51100]

@@Feisenbach YOU BET !!!!

[@77cmchong]

@@Feisenbach sigh, another person who cannot let other people have fun and feel comfortable

[@Feisenbach]

@The Sketchiest Sketcher She's a girl and I say what I want. I'm sorry if you can't handle reality.

[@Feisenbach]

@The Sketchiest Sketcher A look in her pants would tell you something different.

[@sadieadler3065]

Audrey is showing us that not only can people be gender fluid, but we know from such a young age, in our hearts, who we are.

[@tedregular7570]

I mean if you’re stagnant

[@Alexis-nd9kw]

I love how Audrey describes how the labels make them uncomfortable. I resonated with their point about knowing someone's gender equating to treating them differently than you would have not knowing their gender and being uncomfortable about it.

[@redpandas5301]

Is no one gonna mention how well spoken this kid is!!! I’ve seen full grown adults do ted talks with various anxious tick. Amazing!!

[@jersydvl]

She still spouts nonsense

[@arc_ww0472]

@@jersydvl ???????

[@janealsila]

i live im Finland and we have the same pronouns for everyone and it's "hän" 🤔

[@xbduf4gb]

Janette Halla-aho And.... you have Moomins living in the forests!

[@janealsila]

@@xbduf4gb Haha I wish 😅

[@ilarious5729]

@@xbduf4gb... No, everyone knows they live in a valley, duh.

[@xbduf4gb]

Janette Halla-aho Well...... I have hattifattener socks at least.

[@jasmineryelle3472]

I'm jealous 😭 🇰🇪

[@hirgens5145]

My mother is a bit like this child. Born in the early 1930s, she refused to wear dresses except when she had to, such as at school. Her wonderful (if slightly self-conscious) mother bought her "dress slacks" for her to wear to church and special events. Some languages have a gender-neutral singular version (for ex., Hungarian), and in fact, I think Old English had terms they used for unknown singular gender. I wonder that we do not revive those terms.

[@Alexis-nd9kw]

Oh that's super sad how we don't use those terms anymore.

[@WebkinzLiker264]

Audrey really did excellent with their explanation! They were clear with how they explained everything and were understanding of people who didn't totally understand. They're really cool!

[@Alexis-nd9kw]

yep!

[@facioergosum2445]

damn this kid has just summed up my entire life. I'm a 20 year old biological female, but for the most part wear 'masculine' clothes and have short hair. Going into female toilets makes me feel uncomfortable because I know what others are thinking; I feel like I have to at least feminize my walk or body language to communicate 'female'. I tell myself it doesn't matter, but I can't help but feel that it does.

[@joshuajackson4742]

Facio ergo sum no one cares that you’re a tomboy.

[@facioergosum2445]

@@joshuajackson4742 it's not even the fact that I'm a tomboy that they don't care. People just don't care about me in general.

[@joshuajackson4742]

Facio ergo sum that’s fine. No one is obliged to care about you. You need to care about yourself and find comfort in that until you find someone who cares about you as much as you do yourself. I hope you’re doing well.

[@Olivia-W]

I was browbeaten into being a female. I'm just a masculine woman now.

[@blackflag5148]

BOTTOMS UP NIGHTRAIN I'M READY TO CRASH AND BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNN TAKE IT!!!!!!! (Micky mouse voice) 👍

[@sarajenner1989]

Wow! Intelligence, charm and confidence; what a winning mix.

[@abesapien9930]

...and not a lick of truth

[@inplane9970]

Not to mention charisma. They're a natural born leader and the representation that the LGBT community needs.

[@neyaosei5170]

I love how the applaus started slow but then turned thunderous at the end..

[@Alexis-nd9kw]

woah

[@melgraner175]

An amazing critical thinker. Brave and fluent!

[@APM690]

Me : suddenly remembers this “ am I a boy or a girl but damn I’m cute” out of nowhere lol this a great ted talk

[@kililogan]

hearing the crowd cheer afterwards gave me the hope for acceptance I so desperately needed, especially considering most of the audience were older. thank you audrey

[@xz740]

Why does you creave acceptance so much? Kids and people have been androgynous for decades.

[@kililogan]

X Z yeah no I get that. it’s mainly just for my personal journey and having to deal with not being accepted daily. it wouldn’t be as important to me if I just accepted my self but since I receive little to no support from my loved ones and peers, it’s difficult for me to be comfortable with who I am

[@xbduf4gb]

Kili Logan I get you. I had to bring myself up since age 13. Yes It’s tough not being accepted daily as a child and instead being forced to be your father’s “wife”. Sometimes self acceptance is the only place to get acceptance.

[@kitthomas1763]

omg I started crying after , this is so powerful

[@asfodelos3225]

They are so well spoken, stylish and adorable. I hope Audrey's parents protect them forever.

[@hahn5339]

I’ve watched this like a thousand times and I still enjoy it every time

[@Lijaskurzeme]

What a self aware, brave, wise, intelligent and articulate young person. Incredible. I am truly humbled and in awe. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

[@happydaysrcoming8792]

Lijaskurzeme my son is like this girl

[@happydaysrcoming8792]

My son is self aware, brave, wise, intelligent and articulate young person.

[@xz740]

Thousands of children are self aware, brave, wise, intelligent and articulate young people. Thousands of children have had to endure hardship, poverty, child abuse. Be humbled and in awe of them. They didn't have a choice.

[@happydaysrcoming8792]

X Z my son endured hardship everyday

[@xbduf4gb]

Happydaysrcoming We must make people aware of all the kids who endure genuine hardship. They have priority over this.

[@areuseriousrn3343]

Audrey is describing everything I feel about myself

[@timtam3730]

I came to this video to try and understand a point of view and I did a little bit but now I have more questions than answers.

[@anonymouslymj1064]

Me too, to be honest.

[@crowspears3265]

Feel free to ask