5 Weird Picture Taking Habits of a Narcissist

[@narcabusecoach]

Book Your Seat: Workshop on Heal After Surviving a Narcissistic Parent www.emotionalabuserecovery.com/pna

[@theoryofpersonality1420]

I wish you would distinguish between the covert, malignant and grandiose narcissist. They don't all behave the same. While this applies to some it won't apply to all. Then those seeking help will say 'well they don't do this so they must not be a narcissist' when they may very well be a different type. In an effort to help the most people a distinction should be made.

[@sassyplatypus]

@@theoryofpersonality1420 he doesnt distinguish because he doesn't know what the hell he is talking about. Danish is not a licensed medical health professional. Practicing psychology requires a Master's degree from an accredited institution and up to 6000 practice hours depending on the state. He has a "certificate" that only takes 6 weeks to obtain and is not recognized by any legitimate psychological institution or authority. This is a scam. Convince people they are victims of narcissistic abuse and sell them phony therapy. This is unethical and a scam! See an actual therapist if you think you may be an abuse victim.

[@sigridurthorarensen6660]

Don’t forget that when they only take your picture when you are washing the toilet or are running a high fever. Only when you look your worst do they take your picture to humiliate you.

[@allthingsjana7870]

So true

[@latinalife2458]

Yep true

[@redpillbox1882]

True, my Narc Mom always saved all the pics of me with my eyes closed or squinting and then made fun of me.

[@JessMariaDwyer]

Yes, mine did this to me.

[@katjay3125]

100 percent

[@puremaledark8305]

I always noticed that the pictures they take of YOU are always when you in a compromised position. Maybe drunk, maybe sleeping, maybe naked; they are never flattering.

[@minakumari1515]

omg yes. n she even posted my pic on status wishing me birthday. it was the worst clicked photo. dark background im talking to someone else completely out of frame photo. and when i called out. she said she didn't any of my picture. she is my sister we have albums full of photos and she could have asked. but instead of accepting she made a mistake she turned tables saying 'all i wanted was to do nice thing for u" in a creepy shy manner. omg she disgusts me

[@mrentertainment4923]

@@minakumari1515 that's because they see u as an object. Not like a human being with real feelings.

[@dosbabymama]

When my narcissist father put together pictures for my mother's funeral, there was one specific picture of the 2 of them at her bday party the previous year, that he put into a printed collage. I told him I had a better one from that series of pics, where she looks better. He wouldn't change it. Because he'd have to go back to his office for his computer and redo the collage. (???) He really said that. 😒

[@katjay3125]

Yup

[@YesPlease1]

Yes! I'm a male and dated a female narcissist briefly and the only 2 photos she shared on social media of us were when she asked me to jokingly strike a feminine pose, "just for laughs", and when she was giving me a piggyback ride, which she asked me to do with her "because she likes giving piggybacks". As in, I was on top of the piggyback in the typically female position. I only pieced it together after she posted them what she was doing. I asked her to take them down and she said no, she likes them and show that we were having fun together. She also did other typical narcissist things like walking 20 feet ahead of me, calling me devaluing things, everything I did she felt I was doing wrong, etc.

[@nitibhanayyar]

I saw once that the camera was turned on and He was a super charismatic and empathetic, loving and caring teacher and the moment it turned off as if a switch within him turned off. It was the first time I realised this man is not real. He has the ability to carry his masks really well. I wasn't aware about Narcissism at that time.

[@user-yy9be9mi6n]

Wow! Glad you caught that

[@JaJaM.C.]

Are you dating my ex-husband?! 😂

[@devaiahgowda3813]

Who are you talking about

[@1zebracrossing]

I saw the big hands claws aswell.....very evil Scarry.....

[@happ-hobby]

Wow!! I could write a book on this topic from my marriage! His family is very large and narcissistic, and I have a lot of trauma from family photos, mostly their refusal to include me for almost 2 decades. But that is built on top of trauma from my childhood where my golden child sister has tons of photos and videos, but sparse photos of me, usually in the background of a picture of my sister, and the 2 years after she left home cameras were either forgotten or broken, for 2 years!😢

[@mark12345680]

Their eyes will tell you they have no soul.

[@LucilleBluth420]

Their eyes only light up when they are destroying people's souls.

[@michelleelfazzate178]

Yes when I first met him I could not look in his eyes at all,like I already new him from somewhere and creepy

[@ReRe_642]

Absolutely

[@ReRe_642]

There eyes are empty. And don’t smile.

[@shobhanamathew9551]

Their eyes are empty and smiles fake😅

[@kerrytaggart8206]

They cause chaos to get you to react and then quietly and covertly record you.

[@karamason2340]

Yes about the 1st part of what u said..altho they dont always record u. . Bc they dnt want to be exposed..they do their dirt behind closed doors in the dark

[@mukttamahajan524]

So correct

[@Cjohn31]

Omg my ex wife to the core

[@theoryofpersonality1420]

That's called reactive abuse and smearing. It's particularly insidious.

[@Teelirious]

Narcissists create chaos. Look at trump. They revel in other's discomfiture.

[@susanparker9877]

My ex manfriend would send pictures of us to his daughter. He was showing me off. He was showing off the nice home he now lived in (mine). It was validation seeking... as if saying "see I'm doing really well". He was living vicariously through my life-long efforts. Even before he moved in, he got the ear of a contractor doing tile work in my bathroom, and was planning future work, as if HE was the homeowner. I had to set that straight. After I got him out of my home, he'd want me to go grocery shopping with him,.....just to show the world he had a respectable woman, as if I was still his partner! It's all about appearances, even if they are fake.

[@Gabby0770]

Went through something very similar except I had moved the idiot in..ugh

[@susanparker9877]

@@Gabby0770 Uugh...

[@FreeQueen-md7zm]

"Man"friend 😂😂😂 ...smh... unhealed inner little boy within with NO intentions of being a "friend". Haters. Energy 🦇 's and 🚫' ers of Blessings! STAY Happy and Free!!!

[@susanparker9877]

@@FreeQueen-md7zm You said it!

[@monicaconstantin5625]

Very very similar situation here! Heard him tell several ppl "yah i have a house in such n such im restoring my old truck blah blah bla" My house My truck Ect....

[@thewinehussy_5609]

How about when they intentionally keep and post pictures of you that you've expressed that you dont like?

[@fantasankoh1616]

Just to reduce & bring your confidence down.

[@tatianalegolas6736]

So true. So relatable.

[@constancedenchy9801]

YES 100%

[@bronwentownsend5601]

Posting I can understand shouldn't be done but I keep photos of my kids that they don't like. In my eyes they are beautiful. I believe as they grow older they will realise that the pictures weren't as bad as they thought. I too in my younger years hated certain pictures of myself. Now I look back and wish I looked like that today 😂

[@pheart2381]

Thats about control.

[@theladyamalthea]

My ex has SUCH a fake, charming smile for the camera. I always wondered if he practiced posing. And YES to pretending to be a wonderful family man! Selfies are his favourite, followed by pics of him doing stuff with the kids. Not pictures of me and the kids, unless I made him take some for Mother’s Day or something. Here’s another interesting thing that comes out in photos: Look at pictures of yourself while you were in the narcissistic relationship, and compare them with pictures of you before and after. I was often surprised to see that I was not smiling as much in photos as I felt like I was smiling when the photo was being taken. And the smile quite often did not reach my eyes. I felt like I had to concentrate and pose. Before I met him: many great pictures of me and my friends, laughing and at ease with each other. (Same forced smile in family photos though). Now that I’ve left him: My renewed life shines out of me. My eyes are alive. My smile is real. ❤ Let the healing continue!

[@redpillbox1882]

Pretending to be human. Just like those movies where psychopaths study other people's facial expressions and practice them in the mirror to mimic emotion.

[@theladyamalthea]

@@redpillbox1882 Yep. He literally admitted that he used to practice faces in the mirror.

[@brattCatt_]

Forcing him to take pictures for mother's day, I'm guessing that's how he put it, like you were strong arming him to do something so normal you shouldn't even have to ask for it..

[@theladyamalthea]

@@brattCatt_ Yep! I took sooooo many photos of him with the kids, every time he actually did something with them, trying to encourage him and give the kids happy memories with their dad. He took none of me without being asked. And even then, he took super crappy photos.

[@brattCatt_]

@@theladyamalthea It sucks you had to deal with someone like that, I hope for better memories for you now!

[@avrilmiles]

Congratulations on your Psychology degree! I got my Hons at age 56, post divorce. He said, "if we were still married I wouldn't allow you to go back to university!" My answere was"well, thank goodness we're not still married! " 😂

[@juliethechemist4608]

I got my PhD just after my split. Feels so good!

[@kgs2280]

Congratulations to both of you! 🎉🎉

[@victoriousjoy9338]

Aah yes!! Freedom!! ❤

[@MamaKat53]

My mom was my chief narcissist. There was a pic of us when I was 8. I was hugging her from behind, a sweet smile on my face. She was sitting at the kitchen table with her fists clenched and a horrible sneer on her face. I saw this pic recently as an adult and I literally cried for that little girl. I gave her so much love and she looked like she was angry and panged.

[@AndiRose21]

For anyone new to this: If you find yourself shaking your head, screwing up you eyebrows and incessantly wondering, "What the h311 is wrong with ___" .... just know that what's wrong is the narcissism. Get out. Quickly. No one should look at a significant person in their life and think that once, much less almost all the time.

[@tyronevanleyen9880]

I am almost 60 now, and there is a whole history of my life missing in photographs. When I was young my father would hold the camera for so long pointing at you until you blinked, stuck your finger in your nose, or anything that just looked stupid, then he would snap the picture. To this day I run when I see a camera. Did he ever get a kick out that! He did the same thing with my brothers. We all kind of developed a complex from it. My brothers got over it and learned how to be in front of a camera, but I never did. When I look back on those old pictures I cringe. I could never smile. Now that you mention this new element of narcissistic play, it should be interesting to go over the old photographs of them and see who they really were, with the new eyes of understanding their phyche.

[@joannanicholson2540]

Yesss. They hold the camera until they see you uncomfortable and then snap the picture. Stealing any joy you may have felt before the picture taking began. Sigh.

[@bewarefalsenonprofits]

My older Ex-sister gets off on torturing people with her camera. I remember almost fainting while she was ordering us around while attempting to take a family group picture, because of the way she berated us and the amount of time it took. She has worked for two multi-billion dollar nonprofits as the head of their PR/fundraising departments. She was an awful mother to her own children. When I became physically ill with a rare disease, I could no longer be around my dysfunctional, narcissistic family (nest of vipers). I told them, I am a teacher, I get paid to be disrespected. You are not alone. I am currently left with a huge box of family photos that feel like a chest of lies. When I am feeling low, I close my eyes and imagine a real happy memory, that NEVER includes my Ex family. We get to be the maker and keeper of our own photo memory books.

[@bewarefalsenonprofits]

Danish, you used the expression " weaponize social media", so sad but true. Thank you, truth seeker and light maker.

[@ali-jean]

YES! My mother wouldn't wait for the awkward shot, she'd pounce with the camera as soon as you were putting food in your mouth or something equally unflattering and snap the pic before you had a chance to stop her. So many bizarre photos. She, on the other hand, will always strike a pose...

[@imalrockme]

@@bewarefalsenonprofits Ouch, my mother did it, not because of her narcissism, I guess the opposite, she wanted the perfect photo Her way. I can't stand it I really can't. Hey, I'm here, I'm alive, I can smile, that should be enough. If I were a model or a polititian, who needs to fake and sell an image and get payed for it. Not me, I'm just living. ( Sorry for the long words ).

[@michelleelfazzate178]

My husband never posted 1 single photo of our wedding or us together

[@CodyCole80]

Y’all still together?

[@allthingsjana7870]

My narc partner was the same . Obviously they are still out hunting for supply. Horrible I know, but it was a great indicator to me about how he operates

[@michelleelfazzate178]

@@CodyCole80 no

[@yeswing10]

They are Single even when married

[@Susie_86]

My ex bf used to do the same. Very eager to know who saw my pictures of us but always said that they'd post after we get married. I guess that never would have changed.

[@StarrSun]

Amen Danish. My ex narcissist during our entire 3 and a half years of dating no one ever knew that she and I were together. All of her pics are selfies and pics of celebrities that she's met and people from her business networking events only and I did see one pic that she took that had me partially in it and she cropped it completely so you wouldn't see me at all. And even when we started dating she never wanted me to post pics of us either. Smh... I believe she's always disliked and/or hated me.

[@seameology]

Oh wow. My narc daughter only posted a pic of me if she did my makeup. Which was twice. She's a cosmetologist.

[@user-yy9be9mi6n]

So sorry. They are awful

[@Sandyde321]

Yes I had a similar situation with my ex..he would get annoyed or angry if I posted a photo of us together. Never once did he post a picture of us..

[@_evangelina__]

Within two months in the relationship my ex simply blocked me on social media and kept deleting pictures of me, erasing me from his phone photo gallery, from his life. Everything was about him. They are like plague. Stay away from them.

[@charlottekyoto9519]

Omg yes! My ex husband, a covert narc, never took any pictures of me, he refused to have any pics of us together, his entire social media looked like he was single and yet we were married!!!

[@kallasusort2986]

I am sorry to hear your Father was so cruel to you and your brothers. May God Bless you and heal you fully. You are a sensitive Soul.

[@brittpayne7198]

The situation that made me cry alone in shower, was that my mom in law told me to step out of the picture. Cuz it was for family only. I was married 10 years into the family. It was embarrassing and even some girlfriend that came to family event that no-one knew, was in the pic. As for her smile, she always tilits her head as if saying, awe, such a sweet gesture to capture this!. Oh, and i was a beekeeper, and had been attacked by a swarm. My face was black and blue and swollen. She let me be in THAT picture. Her smile was EXTRA HAPPY IN THAT PHOTO

[@phylliscurtner5578]

Yeah, I get you. My ex narc wouldn't take pictures with me either and his narc Mom wouldn't either. Horrible people.

[@kerrytaggart8206]

Some poses with you giving them a kiss say on the cheek and they stare into the camera. One way love.

[@toritori5835]

So very true.

[@susanyoung1600]

Jada Pinkett Smith

[@streaming5332]

My mother never took a photo in her life. My father took a photo of all four of children at the start of each school term. But my mother put them away. There were no photos of us displayed around the house, ever.

[@GGVanilla]

When I was 18 I won a beauty pageant… there are no pictures because I had a malignant narcissist mother figure and sister. When I confronted them about why they didn’t take any photos my sister said “No one took any pictures of me either.” And my mother- figure? “I’m just not good at those things 🤔” 😞

[@BellaDama456]

That's also my sister. 😩😅😂 Don't worry friend that's sayssss a lot about them 💖 stay shining and remember it's not you it's THEM.

[@stephaniesaint-laurent7716]

Everytime I looked my worst, or was in an embarrassing situation, he would take out the camera. Never the opposite. Strange, isn’t it?

[@vikkiweigel2504]

EXACTLY 💯

[@oathtothemosthigh]

My sister does this. It used to make me sad but then I checked myself and noticed that this has been going on for our entire lives. I see now it’s her own prison and not my energy. Freedom is sweet. Thank you for helping us through our healing and growth ❤

[@heidij70]

Wow I've read so many comments of this, which has been my same experience. I will say, at least we are not alone. Although I always felt so so alone, it does help to know I'm not crazy.

[@elp.1742]

This is true, they really don't like you. After a year of married to him I felt the same and took a pick of some pond ducks attacking him. 😂❤ Became my favorite, his hateful face twisted in fear, surprise running as the flock decend on him. LOL yes when u don't like someone u like seeing them In unflattering possitions. So if they like to see you that way, you know they secretly hate you!

[@calizaggirl29]

My grandmother wanted to take my picture when I was angry crying or having an axiety attack

[@Suzn-v4l]

What kind of genius are you Danish? This is ALL absolutely TRUE! Every bit of it. ...God Bless You.

[@prophet1782]

True. He is a genius. He is opening up our past lives with narcs. We had no idea.

[@cherrydomingo8545]

True ! Danish talked about all ky weird and horrible experience with my ex narc and narc mother, as well as my super blown narc daughter

[@VaxjoyOllie2]

These videos you post all ring true. I get frustrated no one else could see it. I grew up with it. I somehow then had a long relationship and an almost 20 years married to one. Don't trust anyone now.

[@gloriachapman5618]

In my wedding photos my Mother looked as though she was attending a funeral. Every one of the photos. SMH!

[@bronwentownsend5601]

Sounds like she was very uncomfortable. Usually how the victim of a narcissist would appear. Narcisstic abuse changes ones appearance gradually over time, making it hard to put on a fake smile. Crushed souls are obvious in photos too. Narcissist however, will lap up a function such as a wedding to make themselves appear good.

[@gloriachapman5618]

@@bronwentownsend5601 My Mother was a narcissist. She wasn’t uncomfortable. She was a miserable narcissist.

[@Eeevvee]

@@gloriachapman5618yup

[@loving0u]

Ahaha! So silly so strange. They are disgusting 🤢

[@Lifeishort17]

My Ex Narc use to spoil any pictures I took with him by making silly faces or sticking his tongue out every time then when I wanted to post our pics he would shout and say I put the worse pic of him and accuse me of having looking better than him whilst he was the one sabotaging the photo episode in first place danish ❤

[@constancedenchy9801]

Yes silly faces, grimace...if anyone looks at them he looks miserable to be with me. So I stopped including him...me lost his mind

[@LDuke-pc7kq]

Yes, my mother will make sure when I am in them my eyes or closed, are intentionally bad all around, she 'loses them ' and won't give copies or only distorted ones. Any petty way she can harm she does

[@imalrockme]

I already commented above that I got sick and tired of my friend making me do awkward poses in every frea**n photo, untill I had enough. But another friend of mine is also annoying as hell, because he keeps posing like a jerk in our photos. I won't have it anymore, just behave! When it's a group thing, ok, whatever, allthough I don't participate, or if you're crazy like that, you usually like to be taken photos alone, not bombing others. ( Ooof again, making long comments but it's getting out of my chest ).

[@ChosenOne1967]

Matthew 10:16 “Look, I am sending you out as sheep among wolves. So be as shrewd as snakes and harmless as doves.

[@lorenebaxter-e8c]

Very important message.....unfortunately I met him at the church I started attending a year ago, after moving across the country. He's been a Christian all his life. I still get the 'ick' feeling every Sunday knowing he sits a few rows back. But....God knows His flock.

[@dakoderii4221]

@@lorenebaxter-e8c Many that profess to be Christians are just masquerading. If someone doesn't know what they are saved from, odds are they aren't saved at all.

[@ChosenOne1967]

@@lorenebaxter-e8c Romans 3:19 (NKJV) Now we know that whatever the law says, it says to those who are under the law, that every mouth may be stopped, and all the world may become guilty before God

[@ChosenOne1967]

@@lorenebaxter-e8c Joshua 1:9 (NKJV) Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

[@MinaOmega]

Pretty unhelpful, really. Firstly, why? An almighty, all-knowing god could remove these thorns and just get to the roses. When pain and evil *have* to be used to make his plan work, then he's not all powerful. Secondly, sheep act as sheep. You cannot tell a sheep to be screwed, tlike the snake. A sheep cannot be a snake. Same with the dove. And doves aren't harmless birds. You'd think God would have that information on his own creations.

[@measings45]

If you listen to them long enough they tell on themseves

[@sanjuanfromsomewhere]

Sometimes they take pics with and of you and share them with others but do it making sure to only keep the most unflattering shots where you barely even look like yourself and in which they look amazing in comparison

[@constancedenchy9801]

Always posting worst pictures of me

[@iamnotmyhandle]

Because that's how they really think of you in their mind.

[@Nat_Ash_A]

Growing up, my mum would make us dress up in fancy clothes and take random pictures in the house. We looked like a happy family from the outside but the reality was far different. The only tiny power that I had was to stop smiling for the pictures from aged 8, I knew it was all false. I now feel really uncomfortable taking pictures.

[@AClem-n7w]

Oh yes hundreds of family photos of us all with him smiling playing the wonderful father. As soon as the picture is done its back to the abusive behaviour. In fact this guy will take us places get us all out the car take a picture at the outside of the place with all the signs for the place etc then thats it, we dont actually even go into the place, we get driven home all the while being put down, moaned at, told how ungrateful we are when the youngest ones complain they thought we were going in the place! He gets home and posts those pictures to his family and they all say what a great guy he is, what a great father spending his money like that and taking you all there. Never knowing we never went. We never went any of those places! We just took pictures outside and went home!

[@stephanieorme2950]

Ooh my God that's horrible😢

[@latinalife2458]

OMG similar but this guy he did pay for things am so sorry for your kids. They make the kids confuse in their lives was real was fake was normal was not normal etc . Always talk to them about this sick behavior if not they will do it themselves unintentionally.

[@laurafritze2154]

😢 same type of game my x husband did. There long enough for a photo, then straight back home so he could look at pornography on his phone for hours. They are sick!

[@conniedavis9657]

😊😊😊😊😊😊

[@wendiworshamdavis4876]

That’s terrible!!! Absolutely miserable I am sure!! Did you ever get away ? Was he ever exposed? My husband would not take us anywhere. And if he happened to get begged into it he was uncomfortable and irritated. Little did we know he lived a totally double secret life . He had a girlfriend and they were the public couple and we were the private family. He had convinced his girlfriend we just used him and he was this giving servant that got taken advantage of by his spoiled wife and children. He totally isolated us in this abuse and his narrative by having an infrastructure in our home and having syncing settings apps on our phones so he could monitor and control social media and of course he for years had committed character assassination carefully moving people emotionally in the direction he needed to cause people to deal with us based on his wickedly crafted lies rather than the reality of who we were. I am telling you it is demonic . I did not know people like this existed .btw he also did this to his merchants . He emotionally gained their trust then turned around and exploited them . He would download malware on their terminals in order to steal from them. And he would install infrastructure not to protect them but to make sure they could not reach anyone outside his or his crooked company’s control when they finally got suspicious. Little do they know that it’s their trust in him that is the biggest weapon against them.

[@Nick-dg3fk]

There’s a picture on my moms Facebook page. Well two pics. Both were supposed to be the same picture but I think she accidentally posted one and didn’t realize it. One is her smiling and pretending to be a saint like she always does in public. The other is the real person she is. Behind closed doors. Evil and selfish and controlling. You can literally see the scowling contempt for life and ppl in her eyes. It still makes me ill to know this person raised me.

[@emmsue1053]

Narcs *adore their filters.. They also are very happy to post any very unflattering "raw" snaps of others! Yes, very strange indeed.

[@Ericasentertainments]

Yes!! My 60 year old narc mom posts the same photo over herself over and over again. Shell constantly add a new filter or use A.I She’s somehow managed to fool 6,000 fb followers(mostly men). 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@emmsue1053]

@@Ericasentertainments Bless you, I often wonder what happens when people meet the real life person instead of the filter! Shame they are so self obsessed with nothing better to do.

[@jessicasvensson3258]

So true! I had a ”friend” that posted a picture of me in a bikini, on freakin’ Facebook! I didn’t know she had taken it, and I had NOT approved of her posting it all over the place. It was just of me, in a very weird angle, sitting down.. I asked her to take it down right away, but she refused. I reported her and the picture was taken down later that evening. Broke off contact with her after that.

[@landigb9481]

My sister in law used to like to take pictures of me at our family events. She would capture me when eating with my mouth open, fork in hand or always in some awkward position. I would not be aware until she showed us as a group and used the pictures to laugh at me. My mom would tell me to be the bigger person and keep the peace in the family. Well mom passed away and I kept “the peace” for a while. But after time, I tired of that and stopped talking to her for 6 years. We speak a little bit now but nothing like before. And, I like it that way.

[@edithturner6119]

😂😂😂😂😂​@@emmsue1053

[@AlmightyAmateurs]

Yes, I experienced and witnessed all of the picture taking habits mentioned above. I would like to add that if you have any precious memories, safeguard them. The narcissists will destroy them. If you have any photos or videos of family, friends, or milestones in your life, they might get deleted, thrown away, or snapped in half. If you have cameras or phones, they may get broken or taken. If you try to take new pictures, you may get verbally abused. You will hear things come out of their mouths to destroy you and your confidence and isolate you from the outside world.

[@brattCatt_]

This, all the way! I saved some tapes you put in a bigger tape to watch on a VHS that I recorded my life with when I was 14. She destroyed the recorder though, because she didn't want it, it was more hers than mine just because it was in a box of hers. All of my things wind up in her boxes, if she liked what it was it was hers and was never mine, or it was destroyed or thrown away. She kept one painting I made and refused to return it to me even though my name's on it claiming I gave it to her, and then she threw away the rest of my art portfolio. A portfolio from 4th to 11th grade. All of it gone.

[@AlmightyAmateurs]

They will destroy anything and everything that means something to you.

[@FWCaptain-kv6sm]

@@brattCatt_ jesus bro what a nightmare

[@darleentaylor9058]

Thank you! I agree with all you have said and have firsthand experience with all five in some form or another. What I noticed about my N is that he cannot naturally smile in a picture. I have observed him for 26 years. If he is asked to get in a picture, he has to pretend to hear something funny, throw his head back and as his head comes down, he has a somewhat 'natural' smile. The timing has to be perfect. If he misses the timing and has to rely on his own, then his smile is REALLY creepy. (love the comments)

[@sineriafrankenstein7316]

Omg. There were hundreds if not thousands of photos of my Narc mother that she made my father take of her. Just her. Always posed. Fake model poses. Pointed foot, fake smile. Always supposed to personify her as beauty perfection. This was long before social media but the 'family' photos were mainly her positioned in different locations showing off what she thought was her dazzling beauty. Nobody questioned it, it was normal to us that she be regularly photographed.

[@user-wi9hv2pb2q]

In all of our family pictures my mother is posing like a model, and eventually my brother, everyone else looks nervous, miserable, angry, or uncomfortable. One of our holiday photos is her in the middle smiling everyone else is frowning looking away like 20 ft away 😂

[@DanniTheMagicJunkDrawer]

This sounds like my grandmother 100%

[@1missy40]

Sick 🤢

[@sineriafrankenstein7316]

@@user-wi9hv2pb2q yeah my sister adopted the behavior too. Both so artificial. Ugh!!!!😥

[@jacquelineglitter4328]

One of my family members who's past 80 still sits there and takes selfies all day. Yuck.

[@edwardbak4459]

Oh my. Family gatherings are always dominated and interrupted by one family member who feels compelled to pose with others and create false images of closeness and warm feelings.

[@hobbyfarMarm]

My mother in law had pictures of just her taken at my wedding and she’s all glowing. The pictures with her, my husband, and his dad at our wedding she’s grimacing.

[@CatsInHats-S.CrouchingTiger]

What about a framed picture of herself on her shelf, but not any of her children or husband. 😄😯😅

[@kerryponcia8245]

My narc mother-in-law always insists on taking photos of my two children (who are now older teenagers). She makes them feel awkward and uncomfortable. I know she takes pictures to share with her enablers and boast. I’m just realising I’ve spent 27 years managing her behaviours. She can be flattering and lavish gifts but then humiliates me and can be quite cruel. She’s exhausting and gives me a feeling in my stomach. Oh my!!

[@kateg7298]

During the devaluation phase too, they want to be pictured alone so that they appear available. A narcissist approaching the discard phase will be looking very hard for a new replacement supply. The happier that they look, the more successful, the more of a trophy that they appear, the better. The new target will start appearing in photos, but they'll only be posted on the new person's instagram. The narcissist will crop them into selfies on their own page. That way the new person will feel a sort of triumph when the pictures of the two of them together start being posted.

[@cherylberk4593]

Very interesting. I met a woman casually at the market, we later met for lunch. She was way over the top w/compliments, at end of lunch pulled out her camera,was very pushy abt taking my picture. I saidNO emphatically. I ran into her several times at grocery, same M.O., pulled out camera. This was so creepy. I noticed other red flags like too mirroring behavior, etc. You have taught us so much. I dont like having my photo taken wo my permission, by a person I dont really know. I dont have or want any social media presence. Too many times people take your photo wo asking, esp if you are coughing, eating or looking shocked. Often distributing such a photo where they look great, very posed while others are looking badly caught off guard. Thank you again bcs I never would have connected photo behaviors as narc! But you are so correct.

[@AngelaGrant-uf9go]

I hate this too..ppl.who are so pushy to have photos with you..even if you've just met them😳I have body dysmorphia and still they insist 'you look fine'...can't just take no for an answer..

[@MinaOmega]

Do yourself a favor and don't get in on a reality show. That's how they do all their cuts and recording.

[@kaddylady5853]

I had a guy I work with, just happened to be an usher at an event I was performing in. I work at home remotely and never met him in person, just saw him on teams chat. When he saw me he hugged me really tight and I didn't recognize him at first, I actually tried to run away but he grabbed my arm and pulled me over to some people to meet. I found out later it was his ex wife and her boyfriend, he was trying to make it look like we were a couple to get the ex wife jealous. I told him I had to go, and had to yank my arm away and he said something like "she's really busy, doesn't have time to talk." Wtf?? 😮

[@helenpreston1036]

As you started speaking I remembered that there are only two photographs of me on our honeymoon ,sixty years ago ! Why I didn’t get out of the marriage then I have no idea !Now I know what I should have done .we are still married and it is grim .

[@FWCaptain-kv6sm]

oh man really??

[@donnafrederick8596]

I cried throught this entire video. You have amazing understanding and seem to know my relationship with a man i loved deeply for 12 years, but who I did not find out was a malignant narcissist until he discarded me in the coldest way possible. Im too traumatized to tell the story and what he did to me at the end. It has been two years now and I will never be the same again. He USED me FOR 12 YEARS!! We spent almost every day together, lived together, cried together, traveled together; we were not just in love...we were family....but at the end, I found out that he never has any intention of staying with me and he was literally LYING TO ME EVERY SINGLE DAY. I cant talk about it.....Please keep making your amazing videos as it helps knowing that somebody really does understand. He is now MARRIED to someone else.

[@destinixshakur]

I been crying all day long

[@tinagregor638]

My mother had one face for her family and another for the rest of the world. Even now, with stage 6 dementia, she can turn it on for everyone else, and treat family like we are all disappointments.

[@kellyjones5133]

A picture is worth a million words!

[@lyndabennett1ify]

My narc used to take sneaky, unflattering photos of me without me being aware. Also of me when i undressed and was really sneaky so i didn't see.

[@ekdaufin1485]

@Danish next year please give the children of narcissists survival workshop at 9:30 or 10 AM ET so that those of us to the west can be conscious for class. Thank you for all the good you do.

[@dianedeen8911]

❤so very true.. I so sincerely wish that I knew this before I married one man and dated another who physically poisioned me which permanently physically damaged me!! Thank you in an ironic way !

[@johncorson6599]

I noticed this when I unfortunately lived with brother. He had more pictures of himself than anyone else including his kids mounted around the house .. always with this great big smile with predatory eyes like demon eyes .. the pictures were all the same going back to late teens .. there was never a smile in his eyes

[@kathymawer9295]

All my baby pictures of about 3 months on, when I was alone with my mother the narcissist, was a baby with a furrowed brow and looking very cautious at her, unable to verbalize a bad feeling, never ever smiling like a happy baby should. I was always afraid of her.

[@JulieDixon-yx9zo]

I have dozens of photos with my head “cut off” growing up. I thought they were just a bad photographer! Ha!

[@teddslens]

😅

[@joannerothque1548]

My mother would chop off my head or my horses head at horse shows when we won. I was always so disappointed because they were real keeper pics except, no head. I wonder now if it was on purpose.

[@SFVGIRL]

My mother did the same pose for every single picture. Head tilted to the side. A shy smile. Hands cupped and straight down at her center. Like a shy little girl. When in fact she would rip your head off. 😂 Total violent narcissist.

[@everett552]

A few years after I broke up with the ex narc, I was going thru some birthday pics I had taken at my party. In one photo, I had someone take a picture of me and a supervisor at the time who "I" invited to "My Party".. Unbeknownst to me and him, the ex was behind us in the distance. He had this sinister, unexpressive type look on his face that said "yeah, I gotta show her who's in charge of this relationship and who can do what in it"...Of course, he tried to create conflict in the club afterward but I wasn't having it! He did however tried to devalue me when he gave me my gift later on...Such a loser! He got discarded a year later on his birthday weekend 😆...I haven't looked back since...Sweet!!

[@GreasyBaconMan]

So happy for you! God bless.😊

[@luna_soleil]

My ex couldn't take a picture to save his life. He purposely made goofy faces, like a child, because "you're taking too long" no matter who was doing it or why. He had to spoil everything for everyone. I used to think he was quirky and cute, no, this was his way of exerting control over the situation. Just like around holidays and special occasions, he could never greet anyone with the holiday in question, if it were Christmas for example he'd say "happy birthday" if it's your birthday "happy st Patrick's day" anything so you don't feel special and happy about a special day

[@Lizbeth36961]

Danish, both of my parents are narcicists, and my sister also. My heart goes out to you.

[@JamesCrandallPainting]

My parents’ home is filled with pictures (photos) of themselves on vacations, and some photos of nieces and nephews they rarely see. They also hang paintings I’ve gifted to them (I’m a professional artist) but nowhere has there ever been a photo of me beyond the age of 9 ( about the age I started getting wise to my mother’s disorder).

[@JanetCaterina]

I am listening to this because it is something i have often wondered about. Apart from early pictures with my daughter, who he later showed no affection for, i noticed after many years that there were no pictures of me in our photo albums. The pictures he took of me were all very unflattering. As if he was a reporter and took pictures to prove I was unattractive.

[@pygmalionsrobot1896]

You're right. Photography has a very uncanny ability to reveal some big visual red flags. I look back on the old photos of my narc brother and there is always a lot of pain in his face. Also a lot of fake smiles, and it is very obvious that the smile is fake. It really shows up clearly in a photo. After he died I found some selfies on his computer, one of those selfies was truly frightening, he was making a painful screaming kind of face and it haunts me to this day - that selfie was absolutely horrible. And there's one other weird thing. During the period of time when I was at the lowest point in my life ... all of his photos make him look genuinely happy. He was at his happiest when I was nearest to death. But at other times when I was healthy and successful his photos all appear extremely depressed, angry, unhappy. Photos tell a lot about them. I study a lot of photos. I've been a photographer for many years. And I think you're right. This is genius - keep up the good work. Thank you for this video.

[@hartleyb8356]

I’m sorry for your loss.

[@pygmalionsrobot1896]

@@hartleyb8356 Thanks, but weirdly it was not a loss. This was a person who should have been there, but never actually was. He was a wandering cauldron of abuse, seemingly without personhood. Hard to believe and I'm not saying that to be mean ... he actually had no selfhood.

[@TataShiku]

Watching This I had to go back to my Gallery and One particular Occasion towards the end of my situationship back then I didn't know the Devaluation had kicked off on high gear and we were taking Graduation pics for my first born..That moment the atmosphere was really intense , on the pics we my kids and I were smiling but one pic it caught His Narcistic Straw red handed. He was looking at me as I was smiling at cheating others to smile at camera for our graduation. Girl. His dark pupils, his face had gone blacka Nd the hatred could be seen on the lens. Looking at those pics I felts cold done my spine and a pit in my stomach. I swear these creatures are Pure Evil . It's sad how many of Us have lived and held and loved a monster for that long .

[@TataShiku]

I meant 'Narcistic Stare * also *cheering not cheating . Sorry I am mobile typing can't view past 100words to edit it

[@lashondamurray9779]

So true.. the narc always taking pics of himself.. and when mad at me he takes my pictures and them look evil with photo editing sooo true 🙏❤️

[@francesbernard2445]

After I left both men I was married some of my relatives admitted how they sensed my fiance was not to be trusted based on their demeanor and body language and on the exagerations they offered when bragging. I wondered why they didn't tell me sooner.

[@nataliaalfonso2662]

They always take hideous pictures of you. Especially if you’re beautiful.

[@jennifergriffin5467]

So much truth. During the years I looked beautiful as a young woman, the pictures taken of me stopped. As I reached middle age, gained weight, etc., my mother took plenty of pictures of me. Always in a weird position, or with a mouthful of food, etc. My mother hated me. Lol. I'm having the last laugh now, though. In great shape now. Eat sh*t, b*tch.

[@adel2457]

I have noticed that when the narc husband takes pics of us it is ONLY when I look horrible. He never ever smiled and looked disgusted by me but lately he has been smiling but it looks so freaking fake. And now, I don't want to take photos at all with him or his family. I can see the demon looking face all the time. I hate that face, the victim face......I need to get away.

[@carparthero]

as i've studied people, connected lived experiences with YT videos, there's two things i've noticed about narcissists and pictures: #1, their eyes are either sinister looking or empty with no soul. #2, they like to smirk as opposed to giving a sincere smile. it's like they have to be the center of attention and project a "superior" image to the camera. cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁

[@cam5126]

They are totally messed up .... Run!!

[@barbarakrall1184]

One guy, who I was acquainted with at a photo store, said he looked "off" in the photo. This was after the lovebombing time. He took so many photos, I just figured it was an thing that happened. But in retrospect, I know now it wasn't. It was his true self showing. Another excellent video. All of it resonated with me.

[@debraconklin5003]

My ex never wanted to post pictures of us on his social media page ever. I had to do it and then he would post things above them to make them move down in the feed. This makes 100% sense to me now...

[@Oceanbee21]

That was one of the first red flags. I noticed that they would not let me in their pictures on their social media pages.

[@RegisLAraujo]

What resonated in me the most was posting pictures with the new supply. During our 17 years relationship, we have one photo together, then, as soon as he got the new supply dozen of photos were posted. I've got really sad when I didn't know what was going (it took me some years to understand narcissism).

[@user-q992]

My narc ex friend who is 14 years older than me and highly jealous of me and others, used to take my photos and videos without my permission or even telling me that she was going to do it. She showed it to her nearly 40 and unmarried ugly son and he was making fun of me in the church, making faces at me etc. Yes, in the church with the Holy Mass going on! 😮 Within two weeks, we heard the news that he had a major car crash, he escaped but his car was a total write off and he was badly shaken. The nasty narc never did it again! 🎉

[@theresaelizabethelijah117]

Yeeah that served him right 🖐 karma baby 😊

[@sickofcrap8992]

Here's one for ya. My X took, as in stole, all pix of me, my friends, relatives, pix of us together, pix of me as a child, as a baby, my parents, my pets, etc. All of them gone. They erased my entire life. This thing I was married to is totally sick! It also scares me, will they erase my life IRL?

[@CafeTessaLulu]

This is a very insightful video! I remember my ex-Narc tried to take a selfie of him and I together on our first date. I declined it as I hardly knew him. In fact, I refused to take pics with him during our relationship because I didnt trust him and didn't know what he was going to do with them. He took a ton of pics with his new supply and was happy to show them off, although he wasn't really with her...only in his mind. He also had a tendency to photoshop images and create holiday cards with him and his love interests in order to make me jealous. Im so glad I didnt take any pics with him because I probably would have been used as a pawn to make his new supply jealous. I want NO part of it!

[@johnmckenna1776]

What amazes me is how long a narcissist can hold a fake smile. It's as if all their energy goes to keeping the false self "on" at all times 24/7. It's only when they're low on supply, or if they have been unmasked by someone, then you see glimpses of the real person underneath the mask! Yes even their pictures seem to capture their dark & dirty energy at times.

[@4514rooster]

The one I knew would break into my house rummage through my paperwork and take pictures to go through later. They also record people they don’t like at gatherings to catch an unflattering angle to post on social media.

[@casperinsight3524]

On the flipside, Mommie dearest would wait until I blinked or stopped smiling to take my picture 🙄 She always snapped the most unflattering pics all while criticising me in the process.

[@jacquelineglitter4328]

Me neither took my pic when I was eating and my mouth was open because I was eating cake at a party. Then she sent it to me the next day. Evil.

[@MedicineGodsWay]

His eyes were super wide in pictures. I just thought it was just the way he was caught in the picture, but later, I realized there was more to it than that. He was in Vietnam. They called that stare "the 1,000-yard stare." After the divorce, I saw a picture of him on Facebook. His new wife had taken the picture. They were somewhere on Route 66 and he was standing in front of one of the shops on the street. A homeless man was in the picture! Does anyone else think that's strange?

[@fairyonwings]

100% True!! My husband is a narcissist and your video is absolutely relevant. You helped me a lot to understand.

[@01968]

My narcassist wasn't even a picture taker, but always made sure she gave me the bad ones where I looked bad or fat. That's the only time.

[@ekdaufin1485]

Stop weight stigmatizing.

[@PeteCswampy]

Thanks!

[@reneemorris9907]

Amazing. I've seen all of these, the surly looks in photos, the refusal to be in photos, the posting of happy "others" photos. I even think the photos of seductively posed females he had (on his social media) were part of it. Absolutely never included me in his social media, so I never included him. He posted a pic of him with a female friend at a restaurant, but at that point, I was pretty much over the whole thing and I was accused of being a cheater. Oh, the list goes on.

[@pattyh1039]

Mine did the smile for the photo and instantly go back to miserable self after .

[@Anoppinion]

My narcissistic friend took pictures of us all through my teenage to adult years. She took pictures until she was the best looking one, and I did a strange face. I used to look ugly just for her to be satisfied

[@kerrytaggart8206]

Same happened with me. Lol

[@sarikapawar7467]

Finally someone talked my heart out. I can relate with every point with my mother in law and sister in law. Both are covert narcissists. I have pictures for every point of yours.

[@kryssysmith1486]

The woman who raised me showed my childhood photo album to my then-current ex, commenting, "Oh, well look, she's happy. She's smiling in every single picture." In my head, I'm thinking, "Yeah, I was smiling, but looks are deceiving." I couldn't get over her audacity to literally just sit there and lie to his face. He knew the backstory, but in his own right, he was his own narcissist. He should have stood up for me, but he never did. Oh well, that relationship didn't work out for a reason. I threw out everything that reminded me of my past, including photos and even my high school yearbook.

[@angelablaney4575]

Had the photo sent to me on my mobile, where he was looking very sad, very childlike dressed in a ringmasters jacket!!!😂😂😂😂😂😂 Although I was supposed to be his lover at the time, he wrote that he was heartbroken because his ex wife was leaving and his dog had died!!! This incident happened just before I left him.

[@kryssysmith1486]

​@@angelablaney4575 It just doesn't make sense to me why they don't take accountability. It leaves you in confusion, thinking that he has moved on when he actually hasn't. Despite what I've read in the comment that you put down, you're better off without him. He can have his smear campaign, do what he likes, but GOOD ON YOU FOR LEAVING!. What was he going through, midlife crisis when he got that jacket? You're the one that got away, you're the one that knows the truth, and anyone that tells you differently is lying to you. Dealing with this type of personality my entire life was pure hell. I was born into a severely sadistic narcissistic family system, and I just cannot get over how callous and cold they are. I know it's a defense mechanism, but come on, face reality at some point, will you?

[@angelablaney4575]

Kryssi thank you for your comment! There was a lot more than ringmasters jacket. He went by monikers Cheshire cat, brain, voodoo sandford. All part of his delusions! On the evening I left he morphed totally physically and mentally into a real demon! I discovered he'd already lost one wife very young with a heart attack, another left in severe pain just before he bought me an engagement ring and I also had a heart attack. A few weeks after I left I had shingles! I understand familial narcissism too. Love to you and all survivors of narc abuse!🙏🙏🙏♥️♥️♥️♥️

[@Leaptab]

My mother never took a photo of us as kids that was candid. Everything was staged, scripted and forced to be perfect so the grandiose narcissist, aka my mother, could upstage other parents.

[@jorsetti]

I happen to be looking through pictures on my phone and found a few of my ex-narc GF (most of which I have deleted) and noticed a revealing image of her when we were at a winery and I took this picture of her with a long black coat and she had lifted the edge of the coat to cover her face but, not her eyes as if she was wearing a mask. At the time I thought she was playing around and being goofy. When I look back now, it's clear she was sending me a chilling message of who she was.

[@donnashaw6890]

Yes, I totally understand this. He takes pics with his daughter and her kids and smile real big. But, he rarely takes pics with me.

[@kmartin1550]

For my ex covert malignant, it was my look’s that catapult me to the top of his many victims. He would be in the mist of screaming and yelling at me with this evil look in his eyes when their eyes turned black and then when he felt relieved, he’ll just stop and say, you are so beautiful or why are you so damn pretty. Meanwhile I standing there disgust and in disbelief.

[@0240lym]

Omg.... My life. I never realized until I saw ur videos. This helps me every day I see ur videos to deeper healing and that there was nothing wrong with me after all. Wow, just wow!! Thank u!

[@ksramyah6714]

That was classic! Wonderful teacher 🙏 I've got an understanding of so many ambiguities which I couldn't comprehend all these years

[@cindyares5234]

Had the chance to have him take picture of me with 2 lion cubs way back , he took with telephoto lens, with his thumb over entire pic. .broke my heart later to see once in lifetime shot ruined.

[@aurarautoiu2743]

Mine had the strange habit to look in every mirror possible. In his house, in my house, sometimes on the street in some shop's window. Most of the times he called me too to see how we look together. At first, I didn't pay attention to this, since I have never dealt with this kind of person, but after 3-4 monts started to feel strange.

[@pandoramurals7058]

Omg this is him! At the end he also kept goading me on and on about something- then told me he had recorded the whole conversation! 😢

[@LindaAguilar-ut9sm]

So true cause my x of 5years never wanted to take pics he gets mad when I try to take a pic of him

[@towanashelton3422]

I’ve seen this in pictures. At the time I didn’t realize what was going on. In hindsight I saw everything, and he told me I was the only person that figured him out

[@magentapyramid9245]

Long before Social Media was "a thing", my mother, a flagrant malignant narcissist, used to take unwanted pictures of me in the hospital. I have chronic health conditions, as far back as my adolescence, and she would actually photograph me sitting doubled over in pain in my hospital room. And while I was half comatose from morphine she would "hold court" with her friends in my room, feigning care for me. She did that for years, especially while I was suffering and protesting. I'm very grateful it wasn't during current times when she would most likely and quite gladly post and expose my vulnerable, anguished self to the entire planet.

[@kaddylady5853]

Sounds like munchausen-by-proxy... sorry you went through that.

[@DFringeMinority]

I experienced the opposite, since I met him, I thought he is so handsome and sexy and he showed interest on me, so i guessed i liked him too... but the times i wanted to take a picture of him or both together, he refused with stupid objections like "the pictures steal my energy", even threatening me with "In Canada taking pictures of someone without consent, it's a crime"... i talked to a therapist about this and told me "why we want pictures with our love ones? Because it creates a link, a memory and he doesn't want to be linked to You"... The worst thing was that after years without pictures together i found accidentally while i was fixing his phone, he had pictures with other guys in a very friendly and smiling situation... when i confronted he said "you are jealous because that guy is more handsome than you"... This people always try to bring you down and gaslight you!!...

[@susanlisson7066]

I was bridesmaid at my sisters wedding 2 years after a serious traffic accident ( I was still in physiotherapy, learning to walk again after breaking my pelvis & on a lot of painkillers etc. ) It was a lot of effort for me to actually get around to her house as she lived over an hour away & many photos were taken that day. I put my order in for the professional photos and she never ordered any of the selection she made me pick of their wedding photos. I later asked if I could instead borrow all their photos to photocopy, print & then them out instead as they didn’t have any of their own printers etc & weren’t really technology savvy and she straight out refused. That was 2008 and I still have no photographic memories of being her bridesmaid. That was the nail in the coffin for me of our lifelong relationship.

[@Choosingtoelevate]

This is confirming for me of what I suspected, thank you

[@Sheila-wb7rt]

The saying is totally correct, A picture is worth a thousand words!! Spot on!!

[@EileenPurdy-q6z]

I have several relatives who were laughing and smiling before taking a photo but when the picture was taken there was only 3 or 4 of us smiling. We always had to dress up for our family photos so we were picture perfect to show off our pictures to other people who visited our house. My mom insisted on it. Both of my parents had a hard time being in photos with any of us that were adopted. They wouldn’t smile most of the time, but sometimes my dad did but I could always sense that it was forced.