6 Ways to Heal Perfectionism

Are you a perfectionist? If you find yourself driven by the intense pressure of making sure things are "just right" you are probably under its influence. You feel you have to make sure your thoughts are "just right," your actions are "just right" and what you produce is "just right." Many are tormented under the pressure of perfectionism, but they are not quite aware of it.
Today I want to bring out what perfectionism does and walk you through a brief journey of what the healing and freedom process can look like in your life.
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[@fostenalifehealthcoach]

Laughter is medicine.

[@Blessednesting]

Literally prayed about this trait in myself yesterday I believe. I’m not type A but have always been very hard on myself for not measuring up in one way or the other. Whether as God’s daughter or as a mother. I’ve been working through it with a counselor and my husband but have had a very difficult time accepting residual thoughts/feelings/emotions that originated from peer sexual abuse as a child. I’m trying to allow His love to drown out the lies attached with it all as you mention. I think I’ve taken on the perfectionist attitude in order to gain approval before God, others and myself. I’m slowly learning and truly accepting that we aren’t perfect and we all need a Savior in one area or another and that He loves me regardless if I do fail.

[@beatitudesmatthew25.40]

Hugs…you are not alone, Sis. Relatable.

[@Blessednesting]

@@beatitudesmatthew25.40 thank you!

[@BanronS]

Your not alone. Im in the samespot. May we both find him in greater measures in these areas.

[@ednasanchez2508]

The Santa laugh is the best advice ever😄

[@regenaupsher5300]

I am cracking up in the car on the way to work!! The laugh did it for me. I can admit I am a perfectionist and I am grateful to have come across this ministry to help me alter this mindset.

[@Mumsy_Soap]

Hahahaha 16:26 you ask a question... " Does God love all of you??" Reumanating pressured thinking, should be yes, BUT....CRICKETS. Mark: I can't hear you. That's cause I didn't say it yet Thanks for the humor. Yes God loves all of me TULA now. I trust Him.

[@dutchcoiner]

Perfectionism can seriously ruin your life. It did mine. I'm in the challenge of break it since a few weeks and it's tough. But I will get there!

[@jennawillingham1906]

You're hilarious 😂 I love you Bro and Melissa too.. You have both brought so much freedom to me in this valley of the shadow of death season 😭 Thankyou father for how you express yourself so creatively through You're children ❤❤

[@donnasantagata7663]

Hi Mark. I am literally sobbing as I listen to this video. I’ve been diagnosed with OCD Scrupulosity when I was 29 (now 56) and since I can remember I’ve always wanted children. And I have a boy and a girl. (25 & 23 now). And I totally feel like I’ve screwed up as a parent. Always been black and white in my thoughts. Always hyper religious. Always stressing right and wrong but never had the in between grace to my children, husband or myself. Very very harsh. I HATE MYSELF.! I still have outbursts and I always feel like…. Why can’t I get this right. God must hate me for screwing this parent thing up. Well I know my son hates me. My daughter is doing very well. She is married with 3 kids and she is amazing with them. I always tell her how amazed and proud I am of her. I see how her kids are always smiling and laughing and always feel like a failure. I’ve been taking notes on your videos and I’m so glad you do this. I just need so much help. My flashbacks haunt me.

[@DajaTaylorrr]

God doesn’t hate you, He loves you unconditionally! 💕 May God bless you and help you through all of your struggles! You’re never alone, God’s got you!

[@slcollazo.2911]

Mark, you’re HILARIOUS with your facial expressions, impersonations, and don’t get me started on the Church Lady!!! 😂 One of your gifts, (amongst other things), is DEFINITELY being a Comedian for God.👍 There probably isn’t a dull moment in your family! I love it how God takes our lives of trauma, abuse, triggers, dysfunction, OCD, etc., and turns into a life joy. ❤

[@Dais751]

Santa Claus luaghter is one of the best antidotes I've ever heard of, many thanks Mark! :D

[@fostenalifehealthcoach]

Your sound effects are hilarious

[@ladydonna37]

22:20 this tag is for my own use so I can come here & watch this when I need to laugh. Seriously this made me laugh more than anything has in a very long time. So thank you!! 😊 ho ho ho 😂

[@Mandy-xr6ix]

Thx for the belly laughs! Great medicine! 😂

[@dreamer2774]

Ugh when he said "God loves you as you are, even your flaws" I was squirming so hard for a moment and then I started crying.. I really needed this video. Thank you for giving me concrete steps to work on to heal my perfectionism!

[@NiyasPrayers]

Thank God for Christians mentors, coaches, authors, they understand what we are going through and how we want to please God and be in right stand with Him (possible only through Christ). But the world does not understand our path. They give us temporary solutions and tricks that do not last. Only God knows our soul and what we are going through and why. He wants to helps us and will send us leaders/examples on earth to teach us. The Holy Spirit is the ultimate Teacher, His truth is guiding us and His chosen vessels. Yesterday evening, God reveled to me that I am perfectionist. I would never have though. And today and I find you, Mark, and I am so grateful. I pray God blesses you abundantly with health, wealth to distribute and joy :) You explain things so well. I will continue to follow you and watch your videos. Thank you again. Blessings, Nini

[@jessicalove143]

I forgot how much I loved this video 😂. The growth I’ve had since first watching this video until now is awesome! However I’m still not there. But this video helps. Saved it!

[@AA-lq5pu]

Wow, I just realised this is a major underlying problem that effects all areas of my life. THank you.

[@HS-tm4xe]

These videos are such blessings. I caught myself critiquing my laughing. Lol

[@cchaps1937]

Thank you ❤. I needed to hear this today. God bless you and your family❤

[@dezmondphillip8263]

Thank you so much Mr. Dejesus. This really speaks to me and I am using this phenomenal information to help me with my walk with Christ Jesus. Thank you for reminding me I am not alone even though I feel like it and I easily forget that I am not. God bless you sir and I will keep you in my prayers.

[@edenosemwegie5954]

This video was just on time! I watched your video about checking a few days ago, and decided to stop checking and plough forward in faith. Just as I’ve been (slowly but surely) resting in God, I went to university today and had a discouraging experience with a teacher (he was telling us how bad our knowledge was) that temporarily took my mind back to that place of feeling unworthy. The devil is a liar! If the enemy’s trying me, it just confirms that I must be moving in the right direction, praise God! ✨ I have a question, Mark! How does someone constantly surrounded by reminders of their flaws learn to withstand the temptation to fall back into low self-esteem, striving and perfectionism? Thanks in advance, and thanks for the video!! God bless you! 😊

[@thedeekabides]

I’m Santa Claus belly laughing at my problems while I feed a dog and a cat. God is so good!

[@nicoleanthony9398]

This is literally the best video on the internet

[@lorisullivan327]

You DO sounds like Santa… lol - true - I usually feel so much freer when I laugh.. especially since I sound like a whelping seal… lol

[@SomethingDifferentMU]

May God bless you for this video! You have no idea how it helps me. You described my life in this video and helped me identify certain patterns. Be abundantly blessed.

[@sparklefulify]

That was a great message. I felt you were talking to me. I’ve just started to listen to you. Ho ho ho ho. So needed.

[@Pepperfam]

I just wanted to say thank you for the work that you do. After having my two children I was diagnosed with Premenstrual dysphoric disorder. I would be severely depressed, suicidal, anxious and caused so much marital problems and PTSD. I also have ADHD. I had to get my ovaries removed it was so bad I would be chronically fatigued half the month. I still have ghost cycles after my surgery and I would go into rumination and still having marital problems. I realized I have relationship OCD all of my thoughts were about my marriage and my spouse or my kids or me. I realized what my triggers are and the root of the problem thanks to you. My first relationship was also very abusive at 15 for years and those thoughts he would say to me the horrible names he called me isolating me, trying to make me think I was stupid, and I was never good enough. After that all of my relationships were bad and I was super jealous. I did what he programmed into me and mirrored him. Ive realized that I hated myself. The horrible thoughts I would have were you’re alone, nobody loves you, it would tell me my husband is a narcissist, I would fear I’m a narcissist. I would obsess over my sons behavior in school he had ADHD and that’s a whole story itself. I’m learning that I have been so self absorbed with these thoughts which is what made me questions I’m a narcissist. I have never been present with my family. I have been so hard on myself. The fear of abandonment is so bad I would self sabotage start a fight with my husband then he would be mad at me and I would have panic attacks for weeks and spin and then keep blaming him. I take Gabapentin now. I see a therapist. We go to marriage therapy and I only listen to your videos and nothing negative no news. I finally feel like things are going to be okay. Thank you 🙏

[@christine2090]

So blessed through your channel. Thank you so much. You are helping me start on a new healing journey and I praise God for allowing me to find your videos.

[@DajaTaylorrr]

Amen!

[@wendykrugman8195]

Another great video!! You and wife are such a blessing. Okay I did laugh when I grabbed my stomach and gave a Santa Claus laugh!!

[@violeta-sabinaciobanu559]

Mark you are a blessing to me and to the world. Thank you brother😇

[@tiannaannenicole]

This is really transformative, getting to the root. Thank you Lord Jesus ❤🙏🏽

[@carolobrien242]

Hey thank you so much for this! It was right on time for me. Earlier this year I was struggling with obsessing about whether or not I was saved. Your videos helped me overcome that. But now, this week, I have been obsessing about whether I am a good enough mother to my babies. I have a 2 year old and a 8 month old. I can’t deal with mistakes I make or areas that I’m lacking in. I know I’m not perfect, but I just want to be better. Last night I spent almost 3 hours googling about how to tell if I’m a good mommy and how can I tell if my babies are happy. I was sick to my stomach with worry. I just want to know that I’m a good mom. Thank you for always encouraging. God bless you

[@Pepperfam]

I always deal with mom guilt, I got sick and started obsessing again. I’m so sick of these thoughts with the bad feelings and then researching to get some sort of relief. I wish I could just relax I’m going to just keep watching these videos and I take medication and try and forgive myself, I deal with horrible guilt feeling for having the bad thoughts and then not being able to be a normal busy extraverted person and perfect mom.

[@cassondraingles9407]

This is exactly what I've been struggling with. Thank you for this video!

[@suej4430]

Thank you!!! So appreciate your content & yiu & your wife!

[@vagirlf.4513]

Another great one !

[@DylancJones999]

Thank you brother. 🙏🏼 Living can be hard but it doesn’t need to be.

[@markwilson3658]

Awesome...Bless you Brother. Yes, The Truth sets us FREE. Hallelu Yah. Love you man, 🙌 Mark Wilson, Rotorua...NZ

[@schalkbrand5307]

Hi Mark your video's always hit home. I'm from South Africa and the word Tula is n Xhosa word that means to be quiet so it works out really well in your message.

[@mishael27]

This is about to change my life thank you so much. God bless you!

[@anjatheunissen8935]

Loved this video. Thanks Mark!

[@sabinef2872]

Thank you so much for all your videos, sharing your experience & knowledge. You are a true blessing! Listening to your videos already helped me in so many ways and with self-improvement. Thank you 🙏

[@Angiemusicaldoodles]

Hello Mark! I’m new to this channel and your teachings have been a blessing! They’ve been helping me a lot! As a person who suffered from legalism, father wounds and condemnation, this video gave me a sigh of relief. Unfortunately I got the perfectionism from my dad and it just got out of control after he was being so harsh to me throughout my life until my adulthood. Turned 23 last month. But thankfully my dad’s changing for the better! I’ve been struggling with rumination and intrusive thoughts for a long while now. Along with perfectionism. Though it’s slowly getting better. I really like the way you teach and explain stuff. As a person who suffers from learning disability (reading comprehension issues), the way you teach helps me to better grasp information and have a better understanding of why I’ve been dealing with a certain issue. This video brought me hope and it made me laugh when you were explaining about the 5th point, which was laughter. I agree that laughter is the best medicine! At times I have moments where I take my thoughts and myself way too seriously. This video hit home for me and I’m grateful for this teaching! Thank you for being so helpful on what you do, it literally brings me hope and assurance!

[@sunnysampath8660]

Thank you for this. It’s really helpful.

[@b4mmer4ng90]

that sanata laugh had me for real laughing it worked and worked well lol

[@ladytemjad]

Loved this!!! ❤️

[@maddydisalvatore2686]

Very helpful! Thank you!

[@miggy2g]

Mark, thank you for your messages! They’re hilarious, impactful, and transformative. 👏🏻🙌🏻

[@fostenalifehealthcoach]

Great video

[@ivyanderson4314]

This is amazing. Thank you

[@airplanegeek893]

Amazing talk

[@julianaramirez7669]

Thank youuuuuu!!!

[@parker1144]

i’ve been dealing with this a lot, but when i read the Bible i’ll see stuff about obeying him and applying the Bible in my life. and i’m confused if God is telling me to do something or if it’s my ocd, it’s driving me insane. and when i’m in Church they will talk about obeying him so i’m scared i’m not listening to him. and that i’m going to hell. my image of who God is has changed into this mean demanding person, not someone of love. i’m just stressed

[@vaultofria]

has it gotten better

[@CharlieBass5]

It's really hard to laugh at myself when I'm angry or frustrated at me.

[@marktdejesus]

I know what you mean

[@CharlieBass5]

@@marktdejesus Hey Mark do you have any connections to people in east New Mexico, and are you still in Carolina?

[@sallieturner8771]

Ho ho ho. Good stuff. This is so me.

[@jb9195]

Mark this explains ocd to a tea and the way I am most of the time for sure. However realising this is not helping me resolve my perfectionist issues it's so frustrating I am not able to interfere and be more kind to my thoughts and use these tools I don't know why and I'm not trying to figure out why I want to embrace but nothings changing I've been working on my self for 18 years.

[@JLife.]

Thank you.

[@TAQ2Music]

How can i contact you with a question? tried going through your website but wouldn't give me a place to send an email.

[@ivorysol7828]

Yeah I'm starting an online master's program soon even though I just graduated my undergrad in May. I don't know what to do without pressure. I do think I want the career path my masters will lead me to. I don't want to overanalyze my approach when it comes to time management and finances with the program. I'm going to try to give myself space to learn and breathe and take rest if I need to.

[@nicosavedbygrace2721]

I struggle with perfectionism and I have a fear based relationship with God. I always thought that God only loves Christ within me, the blameless person, the inner man who can not sin. I struggle so hard with perfectionism and I really don’t know how to accept and love myself and most importantly recieve Gods love for me. So how can I see myself with my weakness and sins in Gods love? I know while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. So this is the Love that Not we loved him but he loved us. But it’s so hard to recieve… And when i read the bible for example acts 5 than I see the story of ananias and sapphira and I questioned myself, how can Gods Love be unconditional, when there are stories about God in the bible that are very fearful… So how can I be sure that I am loved perfectly? The bible does not bring me that clarity, it makes me more like run away from him because I fear his high standards… (Well maybe it’s not the Bibel but my interpretation of it, but I think you know what I mean) How can I let Love, kindness, acceptance and patience in my heart and receive, when there is so much mystery, when there are so many question and when there is so much judgement and wrath in the bible? I try to bring it in this way. Why should God love me and bless me, when I am not better than Ananias and sapphire basically? They died after sinning, and there sin was just a big lie. How often have I lied in my life? How often died I coveted? How often died I pursued something that is not in Gods will? How should I not fear a perfect and holy God, who caused people to die for similar reasons…🙈

[@DangoDangoNothingWrongo]

As children, we get disciplined if we mess up but trust in God to do so. He's not a taskmaster, He wants you to walk with Him. Give Him your questions, He gives wisdom: "Why does it seem you're too harsh on people? How should I live for you? Please LORD, help me to understand these mysteries but more importantly: to be loved by you. Your love is absolutely profound, glorious and kind - you hate sin but you love me and are with me whenever I fail. I fail every day, yet you do not forsake. As King David messed up in retrieving the ark, yet you still accepted his worship, please accept my worship and to walk with you my Father. You're my Father, not a cosmic ogre. I pray to fear you properly. I pray to accept your love unconditionally, and to have the discernment to know when I spiral. You're not sadistic, and ease my anxious heart. You know my frame, and pity me."

[@JamesVestal-dz5qm]

I genuinely believe the Bible should be our moral compass, Kevin ward.

[@nicoleanthony9398]

So epic funny true real amazing

[@CharlieBass5]

I don't know how to live let alone feel, love or do anything. I'm 67 and feel like I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME. I've never done much in life because I didn't think I could. I don't know how to connect to God, Holy Spirt, nor do I know how to get out of my head,.40 plus years of drinking and drugging. I'm really screwed up. I know it's not an event but I don't know how long I got for the journey. In a lot of ways you sound like AA.

[@AA-lq5pu]

I don't feel like I will ever be loved unless I am in shape, unless I create many works of music and art, unless I am a master at my trade. The worst part is that it effects my ability to feel loved. Yet I can love others who are not perfect, but I myself never feel loved unless I live up to my ideals.

[@Angelssing2her]

You're not alone, sister. I struggle with these things, too. Praying for you

[@AA-lq5pu]

@@Angelssing2her That's so kind of you. Its rough. I was slave labour trafficked in a cult called Church if Scientology. You had to know everything perfectly and if you didnt execute of follow orders perfectly you would get into trouble. And whatever you gave even if you gave all your time and money it was never enough. So unfortunately I subconsciously internalized there ridiculous ideals and placed them on myself.

[@John-3_16]

What you need right now is a joke. That was awesome.😂😂😂😂

[@lovehasaname2148]

TULA well interestingly Thula in Zulu means keep quiet. 😅

[@dkunst338]

Wow! The more unconditionally loved we feel the quieter we become, like a baby in mother's arms.

[@JamesVestal-dz5qm]

Getting high to the Bible is a part of my conversion story.

[@bill_y4762]

perfectionism is a disease ….. and I’m the cure ….. 🤣🤣🤣

[@JamesVestal-dz5qm]

My full conversion to Christianity story is the police did it over runescape.

[@siddharth3485]

Thank you mark haahahahahha

[@JamesVestal-dz5qm]

There's a gospel verse about a disorderly follower of christ being chastised before being allowed to rejoin the congregation. That's what God said about my criminal history!

[@JamesVestal-dz5qm]

Dude it says in the holy Bible if you convert a guy Jesus forgives a multitude of sins so runescape cop thanked me for the conversion. Np officer!

[@rolandsalas]

Ahahaha 😅

[@DmDBlaZed]

🤣🤣🤣