67. Why Can't My Child Show Some Empathy?

Your adult child, who’s always been such an empathetic soul, has ruthlessly cut you off. How can such an empathetic person have no empathy for the parents who raised him? Doesn’t he care that he’s hurting you? It seems like a mystery. The problem of empathy is that it can’t coexist with estrangement. To be empathetic, you have to stop being estranged. But if contact is painful for you, then it’s a win-lose situation. Either the parent “wins” because the child is back in contact, or the child “wins” the prize of the distance she desired. In either case, someone loses. Tina explains this painful dilemma in this interesting episode.