7 Games That Forced You To Be a Bastard Whether You Liked It Or Not

[@Juggtacula]

I'd rather be remembered as "The Guy who poisoned every Mongol in the castle" of Tsushima than "General who was so honorable he got his entire army and every civilian on the island killed" of Tsushima.

[@Canadian_Zac]

I'd love to be remembered as 'the genius tactician who won the entire battle without a single casualty on his side, thanks to some clever use of poison'

[@eddythefool]

If the soldiers feel it's a dishonorable victory they're free to Seppuku themselves to regain their so called honor

[@RazalasTrebla]

I'd love to not be remembered at all because I was so successful at being sneaky, no one saw me do anything.

[@matsujonen]

But I don't wanna be Kefka....

[@NobodyAtAll56]

I’d rather be remembered as “the guy who honorably fought every mongol in the castle to the death single-handedly saving my entire army because I’ve faced longer odds before” of tsushima but maybe that’s just me

[@bobbyfernando]

Okay, "War is fun! And crime is fun! Yet, somehow, war crimes? Not fun!" is absolutely a banger line.

[@bruskydu]

Yep, she spitting some bars

[@loquenlucas9060]

War crimes? Not fun ArmA players: X Doubt

[@mirjanbouma]

Rimworld players: wait what

[@MrGrimsmith]

@@mirjanbouma Exactly. How else are you supposed to keep score?!

[@AndrooUK]

​@@mirjanbouma It's not a warcrime if you're on a lawless world. 😅 You can do whatever you want, as long as you don't mind someone taking offense and shooting you. Eg: If you call a guy fat and he doesn't like to be reminded of his fatness, he might whip out a rocket launcher with nerve gas payloads and free the beast. 🤓

[@AdrianColley]

You forgot the most famous one of all. "Congratulations, you euthanized your companion cube faster than any other test subject."

[@FireStormOOO_]

Not actually forced IIRC. There is a way to get the cube out of the test chamber.

[@ZackC]

Mystery of the Druids is a fantastic look at how someone following adventure game logic would function in the real world.

[@EGRJ]

IE they wouldn't.

[@Sapphykins]

The fact that halligan nearly looses his job when the homeless guy lodges a complaint against him is such a fantastic bit of unexpected realism, it actually made me laugh out loud

[@landrylongacre6391]

@@Sapphykins it really is a masterpiece of gaming, we can only imagine what other terrible things Halligan will do in the future

[@weareharbinger914]

Or just playing a sociopath.

[@MarkDeSade100]

One of the things I hate most in point & click adventure games is when the main character has to go through some contrived series of actions to obtain a few dollars because they don't have any money. Who the hell doesn't have money in the modern world? Even children get an allowance. Even if the game is set hundreds of years ago it was still normal for people to exchange currency for goods & services and unless the main character is a homeless person they should have a bit of cash. Make me solve a puzzle to overcome a realistic obstacle, not to compensate for the protagonist lacking something they should obviously have.

[@henrywill124]

Somehow you managed to not include "Killing your child's favourite toy, just to make her cry" in It Takes Two. That was the worst.

[@scorpix96]

They mention that one in a previous video (just like the call of duty where you casually murder an entire airport instead of just killing the bad guy in front of you ?)

[@xavierpeterson7139]

Actually that one was fucking hilarious tbh but fucked up at the same time.

[@ThePhantomStinker]

And then to top it all off, it does squat. So not only does the game force you to do something terrible, it forces you to do something pointless. Only reason I didn't stop playing the game at that point? Because I'd heard about it in advance and didn't buy the damn thing in the first place.

[@xavierpeterson7139]

@@ThePhantomStinker you know that was the point to show you they’re terrible for each other and their child. It builds upon that. It wouldn’t work like that story wise not every game needs to be a decision based game

[@kademelien9363]

@@ThePhantomStinker It is a great game, I just wouldn't play that segment in front of my kids.

[@Blayne06]

Want to know something even more screwed up about SpecOps? According to early playtesting, there was supposed to be an option where Walker can radio in after his recon mission is completed, thus preventing the horrendous events of the game from ever happening. The devs chose to remove the option because too many people took it. Turns out that when you give people an option to be reasonable, they tend to take it.... which makes the whole message of the game fall rather flat. Talk about getting blamed for being railroaded.

[@mar_speedman]

Well that was stupid. They should've just made it a secret ending. People unlock it, and then when they wanna play more of the game, they play again and try the evil route. Far Cry does is every single release.

[@derumasforlos4285]

Wow… what a load of shit

[@JohnDoe-vc5qb]

Yeah that’s why I have an issue with the weird love KZbinrs have for this game. If I know I’ve been forced to make decisions I know aren’t necessary then there’s not much emotional impact there at all.

[@immortalfrieza]

@@JohnDoe-vc5qb Especially since the SpecOps acts like the player themselves are a complete monster for doing things that they don't have any option not to do. It would've had significantly more meaning had there been a choice NOT to be a monster and far more justified to shit all over the player for choosing it.

[@modelmajorpita]

People may take the reasonable option in video games but they don't in actual wars, which was the message of the game. White Phosphorus is used on civilians all the time and the most unrealistic part is that the soldiers question it or feel remorse.

[@greenhowie]

Fun fact - Wolfsbane is far more likely to cause explosive diarrhea before death than vomiting blood. Really wish they'd been more accurate, since that's an even less honorable death.

[@Arcnei]

Ghost of Tsushitsma

[@mechtim]

that's an entirely different kind of dishonourable discharge.

[@moosemaimer]

"I've met better men than you, and they've been hanged from crossbeams, or beheaded, or just shat themselves to death in a field somewhere." and that sounds like the worst of the available options

[@ThePhantomStinker]

Him: "Is this how you want to be remembered?!" (lots of screaming and fart noises in the background) Me: (snorts) "Maybe..."

[@GamingGardevoir]

If you ask Eric Cartman, that’s the only way to truly tell someone died

[@frodobaggins7710]

The entirety of Shadow of the Colossus' premise revolves around you being a bastard to a bunch of giant creatures that were just roaming around, minding their own business

[@unclefilthy848]

And using their souls to unleash an ancient evil

[@andrewgrasham4604]

Yeah that game messed with me. I got to whatever the little bull Titan is that you have to trick into falling off the ledge so you can stab it. He looked so helpless!! This was 20 years after the game came out so I already had heard about the ending, but I stopped playing I just was not enjoying myself

[@unclefilthy848]

@@andrewgrasham4604 I definitely felt bad about having to kill most of them, the one that tunnels under the sand in the arena can die though. That dude scared the hell outta me

[@madisonlewe1057]

Poor horse😢

[@moosemaimer]

Wander knows full well he's making a deal with the devil. "It doesn't matter."

[@peculiarpangolin4638]

Addendum to the Mystery of the Druids [Droods]: Halligan also finishes the game by stabbing his girlfriend. By the rules of the pact, he could have killed himself instead, but no, not Brent Halligan (yes, he does save her with mistletoe, but we all know he wasn't thinking about that). He also partakes in a cannibalistic feast and doesn't feel any different when he's told that he's eating human flesh. As they say, "Halligan's coming to solve the quarrel, no maatter how illegal, corrupt or amoral!"

[@johnoneil9188]

The Mystery of the Droods, they all have an attitude!

[@ZackC]

…that’s catchy!

[@le-grey-far-away]

I think you just sold me on a game I've never even heard of before

[@zulubunsen9067]

I see there are some fellow purveyors of Mandalore's fine content.

[@Bryomancer]

I actually thought it was going to be about stabbing his girlfriend before I watched the video. There's so much in that game that qualifies, including making prank calls to the royal family, befriending an old retired man specifically so he could steal his fancy fishing rod, and framing a different old man to have him arrested at the library so Brent could use the computer (if I'm remembering all that right, it's a little fuzzy).

[@IndustrialBonecraft]

"Press A to the do a white phosphorous" - what a sentence.

[@nicholasfarrell5981]

How'd you manage to pick just one thing for Mystery of the Druids? Pretty much the only time you're not a bastard is the brief section where you play a different character.

[@1Thunderfire]

These Text Me Bots are so strange.

[@kjb5128]

@@1Thunderfire Just typical fishing scams. You click their link, they get your info, they drain your bank account. Can't go anywhere without finding these types of scammer

[@VoidMaid]

I mean poisoning and robbing a homeless man is a classic for this game, but you’re right, being a bastard isn’t just a single time thing for Detective Halligan, it’s a way of life. I love how in the beginning of the game you’re like ‘why are all my coworkers so mean to me?’ But as time goes on you realize they are entirely justified in their hatred 😂

[@sindrisuncatcher653]

Fun fact, originally Spec Ops: The Lind had branching paths and multiple choices, so that when the player chose the evil route it would genuinely be their fault! But then in playtesting too many players were doing the right thing and that contradicted the message the writers wanted to get across about how the player was the real monster, so they removed the right thing.

[@WillieManga]

Kinda wish they did have the morality system. I do understand that sometimes a playable character does things different than most people would, but my personal problem with that is... I just feel kinda bad for Nolan North if his voice lines for the planned good path were still recorded.

[@tiin111]

Jin was justified in what he did. The Mongols held Castle Shimura, a fortress that was damn near impregnable, Shimura's earlier assault having failed miserably, gotten dozens of the militia killed, and Shimura's plan was to TRY THE SAME THING AGAIN! If Jin hadn't poison the entrenched Mongols, Shimura would've broken the last people willing to fight for Tsushima against a hopeless battle, (granted Jin should've considered that the Mongols would study the poison and use it themselves.)

[@enternamehere]

They also used some honor-less tactics themselves such as burning someone who tried to fight with blades

[@Juggtacula]

@@enternamehere You can't be honorable against someone with no honor unless you simply want to lose.

[@K4RN4GE911]

"Is this how you want to be remembered?!" I don't know, I'd like to be remembered at all, especially after facing down half of a Mongol army on a daily basis!

[@enternamehere]

@@K4RN4GE911 nothing like the classic video game trope of the protagonist killing entire army’s per day without a scratch on them

[@Broomer52]

@@enternamehere if only I could heal by hyping myself up like Jin does

[@bennivanderheng]

Killing the Elephant Queen in "It takes Two" My wife and I are still haunted by that...

[@AdmiralKomodo]

How about the original God of War games and spin-offs? Because I still feel guilty about things I had to do as Kratos in most of those. Killing random citizens for orbs was bad enough but you do some truly terrible things as Kratos. Like letting a woman get ripped apart because it helped open a door, burning that one guy alive, ripping off someone's head when they couldn't do anything to hurt me except be very shiny, throwing Midas into lava, and of course, condemning a guy to a slow painful death in a (dead) Hydra's stomach and tormenting his dead spirit later. Honorable mention to all the terrible things that happen because of Kratos being Kratos, like sinking Atlantis and killing millions of people as he makes his way through the pantheon. He also ripped off someone's fingernail which was truly unforgiveable if you ask me

[@jdrvargo287]

Also he killed a grieving widower (Hades) which incidentally broke the Underworld, ensuring the people he killed couldn't find peace even in death.

[@kadeloblack4774]

I don’t feel bad about that, I felt for my guy they shouldn’t have tied to use him! They broke him he’s the monster they created so it’s fitting their “monster” acts like one

[@DuelaDent52]

@@kadeloblack4774 Kratos is his own monster. It doesn’t matter how much the game tries (and fails) to justify him, everything that happened to him from the beginning of II onwards he brought on himself and he made everything so much worse for everyone. There’s a reason he’s so deeply ashamed in 4.

[@AdmiralKomodo]

@@kadeloblack4774 I agree for most of the deaths of the gods. But Kratos is responsible for a LOT deaths, and a good portion of his overall body count are innocent people or those who weren't (or were no longer) a threat to Kratos

[@kadeloblack4774]

@@DuelaDent52 Ares set all that up even that stuff with the barbarian all for the “perfect” warrior so I can’t fully agree the gods did all that and if they wasn’t gonna end his suffering like he asked AND THEY SAID THEY WOULD should’ve just let him die instead of just using some tricky of words you see where that got them.

[@br4inframe]

Next Hitman video will go like this Jane and Andy: "Things have all gone a bit Mike" Mike: "I am the most honorable Hitman ever"

[@Turtle-Melon]

I stick by Jin's actions. He's seen the horrors the Mongols have inflicted on his people, including people he's close to. His failure would result in a total takeover of tsushima, because Lord Shimura is too stubborn to see any other option than what is essentially a kamikaze attack. Especially after they learn how to use wolfsbane, Jin has to fight an unconventional war to save Tsushima. The Mongols are prepared for samurai, but not for the Ghost

[@Michael_Lindell]

I hate it when games force me to be born out of wedlock...

[@dannyinferno6747]

LMAOOOOO

[@JTeenmining]

... as a bastard... that's funny

[@AsiaDanceScene]

Of if you live in England, force you to cut off another guy in traffic...

[@FastFowl]

I hate it when games force me to be born

[@erainmartinez8175]

What the f### game! 3:00

[@GaseousSnake2]

“You don’t always choose to be a bastard” “I love being a bastard and will do it whenever I can…we are not the same.”

[@anon_y_mousse]

Best game for that which I've played was The Phantom Menace for the PS1. Mos Espa was empty by the time I finished with it just about every go around.

[@blazingfuryoffire1]

@@anon_y_mousse Kill everyone runs of hitman?

[@anon_y_mousse]

@@blazingfuryoffire1 Never played it.

[@blazingfuryoffire1]

@@anon_y_mousse in the hitman games, you're supposed to track and silently two or three targets, avoiding killing anyone else (knockouts are fine). Some players get bored and try to kill every last NPC. If it moves, it dies.

[@Feasco]

@@anon_y_mousse doesn't that softlock the game? it did for me

[@kikiphallin]

That Braid plottwist was soo good and the fact that it was revealed by actual gameplay and not just a cutscene, dialogue or text explanation was what made it so special. It's still on of my all time favorite gaming moments and proof that games can be an incredibly powerful medium for storytelling

[@abdulmasaiev9024]

Yeah the plot twist is great. The footage here is completely the wrong though. Let's talk about the plot twist about how the knight actually rescues the princess from you but show the secret ending where no, the princess got caught and none of that happened, I guess? The one where you don't get to see the princess set up the traps that Tim barely avoids, or the knight take her in his arms to save her and carry her away to safety? Yeah that's... certainly an editing choice.

[@derGameplayDJ]

The first example which came to my mind was from the very beginning of the Daymare demo. You find a wounded stranger, promise to help him, and then the game draws your sidearm for you, aims at the stranger's head and disables all controls except the fire button... That's one hell of a way for a game to set the tone/mood.

[@austincantswim3383]

Never thought I'd see OutsideXbox cover Mystery of the Droods.

[@peculiarpangolin4638]

They all have an attitude, you know. The Droods, that is.

[@GrognakTheCreator]

Pittza

[@nwahnerevar9398]

Halligan's coming, to solve the quarrel, no matter how illegal, corrupt or immoral!

[@Aluna0]

I never thought I would see OutsideXbox cover Soulja Boys take on a game 💀💀💀

[@twentysevenpennies5472]

I literally just wrote this comment. I was so shocked I ran to the comments

[@MeLeoMiller]

Mikes Divinity 2 segment made me realise The Red Prince is basically Barnaby and Egbert mashed up.

[@TwoWholeWorms]

Barnabert. Egby. o.o

[@banisherblade]

As far as I'm concerned, the 'You could've stopped playing the game' argument is only morally valid if the company saying it offers a perpetual refund service so long as you DO quit the game at that moment. Otherwise it's just hypocritical of them to condemn you for playing the game they sold you and are making money off of.

[@deathbykonami5487]

Then your missing out on the lesson in morality.

[@bjchit]

@@deathbykonami5487 You’re. And the game bitches at you for killing while instructing you to kill in various over the top ways. They’re hypocrites.

[@sezunemizuhana3870]

@@deathbykonami5487 Don't you mean lesson in consumerism?

[@deathbykonami5487]

@@sezunemizuhana3870 I meant both

[@pheo4156]

shouldnt have bought the game

[@garinarayne5810]

In Brent 'Vagrant Mugger' Halligan's defence, he poisoned himself with neat ethanol first. A necessary step before you can drug the homeless guy. Adventure game logic at its finest xD

[@DjDolHaus86]

Ethanol is perfectly safe to drink within reason

[@chukyuniqul]

@@DjDolHaus86 I don't think any perceivable consumption of pure ethanol can not fuck you up. Cuz you're not just gonna have a spoonful of the thing, you'll probably get more like a shot. And that sudden spike in blood alcohol% is gonna fuck you and your liver up more than zeus' hawk during mating season in 0 gravity.

[@zulubunsen9067]

And the homeless guy does actually survive. And then his complaint causes Brent to be kicked off the force, so at least there are consequences. But maybe Brent shouldn't have been an idiot in the first place and maybe his office phone privileges wouldn't have been taken away beforehand.

[@Bryomancer]

I think the reason Brent can't use the office phone was because he was making prank calls to the royal family about murdering Lady Diana? There are so many levels to how much of a bastard Brent is.

[@WeCanCos]

@@zulubunsen9067 The homeless man didn't get him kicked off the force. Lord Plapatine did. The beggar just got him in trouble.

[@meikahidenori]

As a point and click adventure fan, I'm glad to see Druids on here. That had to be Andy's contribution.

[@timogul]

You know, there are games that have rewarded you for not playing for years at a time, and others that required you to reboot them real quick, but it would be interesting for there to be a game where it would present you with an unsolvable moral dilemma, then if you shut down the game and give it at least 24 hours (or more), and come back, it gives you some better option out of the bad situation. :D

[@moosemaimer]

MGS3 punishes you for saving during a boss fight, unless you wait an entire week, in which case the boss dies of old age.

[@nightmarethrenody8232]

Probably not intentional, but Trace Memory was a DS game where you have to close the two halves of the device to solve a puzzle; I only solved it because I gave up and went away.

[@phantom_xrd]

@@moosemaimer that was the fear wasn't it?

[@coffeeaddict9605]

@@nightmarethrenody8232 In the Zelda game Phantom Hourglass it took me giving up and closing the DS before I figured out that's what the game wanted me to do to copy a map.

[@Xaiclun]

Sounds like something Kojima would do

[@RamadaArtist]

Okay, The Mystery of the Druids shouldn't count. EVERYTHING you do in that game forces you to be a bastard. The main character is just a piece of shit. And then there's magic and time travel, and it doesn't justify anything. The whole game is about being a miserable person who also happens to be in a metaphysical conspiracy.

[@ZorotheGallade]

Ruining a fisherman's day to scrape salt off a boat (using his expensive fishing rod) Breaking and entering private property without a mandate Treating evidence of a crime with contempt and/or withholding it Destroying ancient monuments (yes, magic also counts) Too many accounts of petty larceny to count And Lowry is never going to see his scissors again...

[@BuildinWings]

"7 dialogue options that confused you into making terrible decisions." Sometimes dialogue is critically important to a story. Sometimes it's janky and hard to navigate. Sometimes it's both. Fallout 4 does this ALL the time.

[@utswriter]

Ah a classic as you can never fully tell what tone something is gonna be said. Like how was I supposed to know clicking hello would have me punch the person out and say hello in a mocking tone!? (don't remember what game it was but I do remember that was what happened. And I felt terrible and a bastard for it)

[@Broomer52]

“Glass him” that’s all I will say

[@SkitSkat8008]

@@Broomer52 lets not forget in walking dead the new frontier the "tell him off" choice. I thought it was about confronting David about how he's being a prick and he should be more worried about his wifes cut up hand and not about a stupid glass military cup. Boy was i wrong

[@charliethemagpie523]

Alpha Protocol was big on this, too - timed dialogue choices with one-word descriptions! Whoops, I accidentally beat up an informant, my bad!

[@HylianFox3]

"Did you get all that?" >No -Yes

[@victoriousf.i.g.3311]

Mike is a Dragonborn in their D&D Campaign and enjoys selecting Lizard Mans in gaming. Mike has a type, it seemeth.

[@lisah-p8474]

Hey, that Posh Lizard Man was actually foreign nobility from a royal house. Marry him and you'd be set for life. Beautiful mansions, sumptuous fabrics, and all the mice you can eat.

[@cnkclark]

Mike is correct.

[@victoriousf.i.g.3311]

@@lisah-p8474 I like to consider myself a classy guy who can appreciate an endless supply of mice

[@weneedaladder8384]

@@lisah-p8474 so like Barnaby from BitD? Yeah, I think Mike has a type. Rich Posh Lizards, or however close he can get to that.

[@TrickyTalon23]

Say what you want about Jin, but he had every reason and every right to play dirty against the merciless Mongols in order to save his people. I took full advantage of the Ghost of Tsushima stealth and quick throw gadgets without one ounce of remorse. The Mongols deserve everything I did to them. Edit because I didn’t know how to spell Mongols. I really thought there was an ‘r’ in there somewhere…

[@TrickyTalon23]

@@khamjaninja. do you not know who the Mongols were?

[@J7041-u7m]

I happened to play it with the natural progression. On the first island I was very honorable and challenging them to duels. On the second island I started sneaking around and killing people dishonorably when innocent lives were in danger. By the third island, idgaf... everyone dies in the most convenient way. I think that's the ideal way to play it too... the romance and honor of the samurai way starts to fade the more you encounter evil and the horrors of war.

[@corvo2696]

@@khamjaninja. The first step to war is to dehumanize the enemy, in that respect. Looks like the game did a fine job.

[@FIVEBASKET]

Make sense when you're enemy playes dirty u have to use similar tactics

[@mediarare2386]

It's this entire archaic thinking of honor over death we can't really get behind in modern times. What good is honor to the protagonist when he can't save himself and what they care about? Especially if the enemies use that against them? Also I really love stealth in games so where is that wolfsbane?

[@Unapologeticweeb]

Fane becoming a skeleton is somehow hilarious too me given he already was one with or without rejection

[@mar_speedman]

"I'm a skeleton now because of you!!" "... But you always were a skeleton...?" "And I still am!!! Because of you!!!" "....Uh....."

[@phantom_xrd]

@@mar_speedman fucking Fane xD Still I like him

[@phantom_xrd]

Honestly Divinity feels like an underrated game imo, still love both games

[@damp2269]

not picking fane or lohse is a sin itself.

[@BadIdeasBureau]

Everyone was a skeleton. Some of them just had meat suits to start with.

[@theprofessionalfence-sitter]

You missed 'every (point-and-click) adventure ever made' - one of the Deponia games, for example, makes you feed a couple of children to a vegetarian sewer monster.

[@levinseve3471]

Wow that's double messed up.

[@HylianFox3]

And yet, you can't feed Cedric to the POOOOOOOISONOUS SNAKE!

[@jorvach9874]

@@levinseve3471 Because you murder kids *and* make the vegetarian sewer monster eat meat, right?

[@octochan]

I didn't check the comments before listing some of Rufus's crimes, but yeah, the whole Deponia series should be on this list.

[@KeybladeMasterAndy]

Deponia is a point-and-click series? I wouldn't have known that, as I've only seen box art for it on current platforms. In stores. Where point-and-click Adventure games are scarce.

[@OratoryJamesIV]

How about the very first boss battle of Xenogears? As Fei, you're forced to pilot the powerful gear, Weltall, in order to try and stop foreign armed forces descending on your tiny, mountain village. The result? You basically nuke the entire area, leaving only a handful of survivors, and forcing Fei to start wandering the world alone.

[@timburlingame5893]

"How tall is it?" "It's well tall, mate."

[@gustavedelior3683]

That game was both amazing and a headache

[@deadheart1579]

Xenogears is one of my favorite games of all time and the only one I really want a remake of. If only for it to actually have a second half instead of what we actually got.

[@Patrick-Phelan]

@@deadheart1579 I thought everyone loved "Elly sits on a chair, telling you all the great things they had planned before the money ran out".

[@bayleyhodges1292]

How could we forget the war crimes we're forced to commit in It Takes Two. I have not recovered

[@michaelandreipalon359]

Poor elephant.

[@JuliaJvn_6]

@@michaelandreipalon359 his cotton is on your hands

[@michaelandreipalon359]

*Our* hands.

[@philiphunn194]

I think the more important lesson that video games have taught me about war is that it never changes...

[@mareczek00713]

16:50 - no questions here, a group of white-clad druids suffering spontaneus combustion during child sacrifice, pretty obvious TBH. I played Drakengard at innocent age of 12 back in 2004 and got murder toddlers ending, at this point nothinhg surprises me.

[@roguishpaladin]

You'd be wrong. The children live.

[@mareczek00713]

@@roguishpaladin Well, of course they do, as I said druids get combusted DURING and not AFTER the sacrifice and it;s kinda hard to complete it after you burned to death...

[@BurningTNT]

@@mareczek00713 actually the children weren’t intended to be sacrificed at all, they were making evil magic babies

[@cassiemoyles4177]

I love how the only choice with spec ops is to just not play... like... that's not a choice lmao that's an ultimatum

[@jonbaxter2254]

Do you feel like a hero yet?

[@marhawkman303]

@@jonbaxter2254 Spec ops is more of a movie than an actual game to me... sure you do things, but you just watch the story.

[@Arindilwen]

If the right choice is to stop playing the game, then by never purchasing the game and thus never playing it, i am immeasurably more moral not only than the people who played it and finished it (y'know, the game they bought, with their own money, hoping to get some use out of it), but also than the people who made it.

[@marhawkman303]

@@Arindilwen this is true.

[@leadpaintchips9461]

Which is kindof the point of that scene. It's a brief look, which _much_ lower stakes, into the type of thinking that allows people to make these decisions. Can it be viewed as a cheap guilt trick? Yup. Is it the same fundamental issues that these people face, where not being a bastard is not a viable option for them? Also yup.

[@TimeLordParadox]

Monkey Island 2. Many instances. But in one instance you seal Stan the salesman in a coffin to get at a key. You never return to let him out and you hear him crying for help. Then in Monkey Island 3 you open a coffin that's already been buried only for Stan to leap out. Implying someone buried him alive between games.

[@bendenton7452]

“And I’m Mike, welcome to the team!” Had me on stitches for some reason. 😂

[@coffeekat5066]

Same energy as "This is Jon Snow........He's king in the North" after they stood there for five years listening to Dany's introduction lmao

[@YalelingOz]

I loved Thief. I loved it enough that as soon as I finished it, I started again on expert difficulty. Who doesn't want to be an expert thief? I didn't finish it on expert though, as I found I couldn't finish the level without taking Edwina Moira's living money. I just saved the game there and never went back to it. It was an unexpectedly low point to leave a game I'd loved, and somewhat tainted how I felt about it.

[@michaelandreipalon359]

If you want compensation and closure, there's the Sneaky Upgrade mod for Deadly Shadows, which thankfully removes that damned objective.

[@AdrianColley]

So, Andy was right, then. You could indeed make the choice to stop playing.

[@Draenen]

L.A. Noire is guilty as hell for this. Making your character cheat on their wife when they're also supposed to be this morally good and uncompromising officer is weird. It literally made me so angry I wanted to stop playing -- it was such a contrived and forced effort to make your character more "fallable" and "real" but it was so fake and made no sense. I literally thought it was a set up until I finished the game and looked up forums. Still livid to this day. Ruined the game for me

[@TheRadiaforce]

ah yes, Mystery of the Druids. a game with a box art of some guy, presumably a druid, screaming at you. that face has been living in my head rent free since 2005, although it should probably start packing up because I don't want it in my mind house.

[@LifeWithMatthew]

17:49 - "For our younger viewer a phone booth is a huge stationary cell phone that you get inside, and feed money to, and smells bad" - False. A phone booth is larger on the inside, can move anytime in Time And Relative Dimensions In Space, and probably smells like freshly baked chocolate cookies on the inside, though that last one is just my speculation.

[@HovektheArtist]

Correction, you are thinking of police boxes, which are either as described or public toilets and residence of homeless people

[@TheFrostyCrane]

Red Dead 2. You can play the entire game helping everyone you pass. You can make every high honor decision there is. You can play any debt collection mission only taking enough to cover it or even using your own money in cases. But at the end of the day the game makes you beat Thomas Downes to death and impoverish his family because thats how Arthur gets his tuberculosis and why the last few missions don’t end with Arthur killing Micah and the plot of Red Dead 1 being two bros running a ranch with their family.

[@WillieManga]

When I saw that weird teeth-out Druid, I knew exactly what would be on this list. Fans of Mandalore Gaming will know just how psychotic Halligan could be. In fact, he's so wild that when Lowry said Halligan was wearing a 20 pound suit, I thought Lowry meant it literally. I understand pounds is a form of currency, but knowing Halligan, I wouldn't be surprised if his suit really was that heavy. And it'd be ironic since apparently the phone is too heavy. But I imagine Mystery of the Droods is a parody of adventure games by everyone playing straight man to his absurd means of progressing the game. The beggar does survive, but of course, he's pissed that Halligan scammed him.

[@MasterZebulin]

Oh, someone else has heard of that guy. Guess he's not as obscure as I thought.

[@SyndicateOperative]

@@MasterZebulin I mean, most of his videos have views in the multiple millions; he's pretty popular (and his content is, of course, great).

[@MasterZebulin]

@@SyndicateOperative Oh, it is? I didn't notice that.

[@ajeje1996]

The 20 pounds suit would also explain why he runs like there's something wrong with him

[@Kurgosh1]

Who knew that all this time Mike was simply trying to embody Agent 47's sense of honor.

[@AnimatingClass101]

Love the Divinity Original Sin 2 representation, but also, you can just run to the end goal in that race without murdering them… It sounds like Fane and Lohse just got murdered a second time out of bad luck :(

[@caiorezei]

Thank you Mandy and Shammy for introducing the world to our favorite villain, Detective Halligan. Did I say villain? Oh, sorry, I mean utter psychopath on a quest to save the world, get a date and pay off his pizza debts.

[@Frogglin]

Whoever wrote that Trip Advisor joke can have the rest of the day off. Gold.

[@themarkandrus]

In Prince of Persia (2008) the game ends with you going to four corners of the map to do something that will bring back your dead girlfriend but also bring back the ultimate evil. I decided that was a very silly thing so I turned off the game and walked away forever. The lack of a sequel makes my decision feel canonically justified

[@rashkavar]

Especially since Elika is 100% guaranteed to hate you forever for releasing Ahriman again.

[@marhawkman303]

@@rashkavar isn't there a voice line where she tells you off for being an idiot?

[@Truzyxx]

I’m normally a completionist and had been planning to go back and collect all the things, but that ending annoyed me so much that I just uninstalled the game.

[@artturisiikanen3843]

​@@rashkavaryeah basically there is no point in doing that.

[@jokiyatrott5316]

Jane having explain what a phone booth was made the gray hairs pop up 😂

[@YalelingOz]

You found my two biggest turning points in Red Dead. After the first rescue of Nigel West Dickens I /really/ wanted to just leave him to his fate. But you can't, and that jars against alk the open world gameplay and options. The rebel parts was the point I moved from "I'm not sure I like this game", to "I properly hate this game".

[@marhawkman303]

yeah, he said you play both sides, but.... what do you do to help the rebels?

[@bjchit]

@@marhawkman303 You literally overthrow the government who forced you to do some very bad things.

[@TheBoondocksaint117]

For me, it's in Shadow of War when the game doesn't let you pick Bruz to be the Overlord of the fort, seeding his eventual betrayal. Because of course you would pick him to be the Overlord.

[@meadebe]

That was one of my biggest gripes of ghost of tsushima. The game wants and rewards stealth gameplay, but yells at you for doing so every chance it can

[@Caoobse]

The game doesn't penalize you for being the Ghost, it's telling the story of how Jin discarded the samurai way for his own.

[@meadebe]

@@Caoobse no it doesn't penalize you, just shames you for it

[@Death2all546]

I feel the same way about the Dishonored. The good ending requires low chaos/killing playthroughs, but I distinctively remember there being quite a few achievements related to killing people. Not to mention the various creative options for murder, devs put in the game, you can’t use to instead run around choking/tranquilizing people and hiding them in dumpsters. Or you can ignore that, kill everyone, and watch the story progress as the entire city becomes a worse place because of it. Especially noticeable if you do both low/high chaos playthroughs and see how different the game world is as the story progresses.

[@SamJ.J.]

Kind of makes it realistic.

[@gustavedelior3683]

Yup, just like actual Asian parents...emotional damage

[@dnvnmcky]

If video games have taught us anything it’s that, “War never changes.”

[@theragingpotato]

Mike's quip at the end about romancing a posh lizard sounds like Egbert's origin story.

[@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick]

If you told me yesterday that Outside Xbox would talk about the Mystery of the Droods, I would’ve called you a liar.

[@peculiarpangolin4638]

Well, they did give us the Piman, but I'm happy so many more people will know this hilarity!

[@AdrianColley]

They even talked about FTL the other day. What next, Kerbal Space Program?

[@DamnedEyez]

9:46 I only did it for the achievement ...but yeah, the missions themselves are what made me go from loving to hating the game.

[@geofff.3343]

While Japan had obviously been using some kind of assassin or ninja-esque characters in the Kamakura Period (nor did they use the katana we see in the game, but the more curve cavalry suited tachi) I think that the game does a good job of illustrating just how things changed for Japan during and after the first Mongol invasion. The katana that is so inexorably linked with Japan literally comes from the need for a sword more suited for taking out fairly heavily armored opponents. But yeah, in Kamakura Japan there was more emphasis placed on announcing one's self and giving the spiel of one's accomplishments so that whoever won the fight could get paid for taking the head of the other.

[@mitchellenderson7194]

“War crimes are not fun” And who decided that? Those punks at that convention in Geneva?

[@marhawkman303]

I heard it was a boring convention too... spent most of the game night arguing over rules or something....

[@nightmarethrenody8232]

Man, GenCon used to be pretty different.

[@CJTerry]

Geneva convention more like Geneva suggestion

[@leadpaintchips9461]

@@CJTerry Nah, it's a checklist! They were so nice to put it all in one place.

[@KeithFraser82]

@@CJTerry "They're more what you'd call guidelines."

[@retsz]

What about in final fantasy 4, where you start the game off by invading a foreign nation to steal their prized crystal, followed by a mission where you burn an entire town to the ground leaving an orphan summoner? Or final fantasy 6 where you start the game off by murdering the townspeople of narshe in the name of an evil empire? And then there's final fantasy tactics where you just murder all kinds of innocent people that just happened to get swept up in the machinations of the nobles and the church?

[@jorvach9874]

Or Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII where you spend over half the game working for the evil megacorporation that has taken control of the planet? The very first mission is to finish off the last bit of resistance in Wutai, a country that was invaded by said megacorp because they wanted to build a soul-draining power plant there and the Wutaians said no. Shinra: "Hey we wanna build one of our evil power plants in your country." Wutai: "Nah dude, sorry." Shinra: "So you have chosen... death..."

[@MrEasyNah]

Cecil and Kain were on some bullshit when they did that to that village.

[@Shadohime]

In the case of Final Fantasy IV, the burning of the village of Mist was unintentional on the part of Cecil and Kain. They didn't know what the Carnelian Signet (Bomb Ring in some translations, which really should've been a red flag) was going to do. Cecil's pre-game assault on Mysidia, that's admittedly more difficult to defend, but he was just following orders at the time. As for Final Fantasy Tactics, most of those 'innocent people' that you end up killing attack Ramza because they believe he's one of the very people who screwed them over. Case in point, Milleuda Folles, Wiegraf's sister. Self-defense isn't the same as being a bastard on purpose. A better Final Fantasy example would be from VII, where you blow up a reactor in the name of 'environmentalism', but there were still people inside when it went up. Cloud doesn't care who dies, so long as he gets paid. At least at that point in the game.

[@KeybladeMasterAndy]

@@Shadohime I think it's implied that there were minimal casualties based on the timing and lack of NPCs in the reactor.

[@kalenkelly353]

HALLIGAN’S LIFE WAS PRETTY DRAB RACKING UP DEBT WITH THE PIZZA TAB

[@johnyshadow]

And here I was thinking that Phonebooths were blue, bigger on the inside, and traveled through time and space. Thank you Jane for correcting me... I think.

[@MrDalisclock]

A phone booth is a blue box that the doctor uses as a time machine. Sorry, I'm informed that's a police box. Anyway, carry on.

[@nyperold7530]

The beginning of Final Fantasy IV. Granted, you're acting under the orders of... ...someone he thinks is the king, and he's only beginning to suspect that the king might be evil, but still...

[@teddylyon1189]

How about the debt collecting missions from RDR2? The game literally forces you to do the one that gives Arthur tuberculosis. And even if you choose not to beat Mr. Downes, Arthur just does it in a cutscene

[@HylianFox3]

"7 Times In Games Where Your Choices Didn't Matter" assuming video doesn't already exist

[@lisah-p8474]

I temporarily rage quit the game after that quest. I hadn't been spoiled on the ending. So that fight happens, and Arthur coughs during the cutscene ride on the way back. And I'm just like... no NO. You sonofabish. I've read enough Victorian and gothic drama to know tuberculosis when I see it!!!! So I looked up the ending online and I was so sad/angry. I didn't even want to punch the stupid guy!!

[@teddylyon1189]

The story was still great as it was though, and it made what he did important to his character later on. I’d recommend playing through the game just to see it because I had it spoiled for me and I still enjoyed it a lot.

[@lisah-p8474]

@@teddylyon1189 oh yeah, I went back eventually. I just had to pout for a bit and wonder if everyone else instantly understood the TB reference. It's a great game. Both RDR games are and the endings are both gut punches. They really know what they're doing.

[@artturisiikanen3843]

yeah i usually spoil games for myself so i dont accidentally play games with shit endings like rdr1 and 2 same with animes(i hate when a tsundere and or childhood friend wins and the rest of the girls are left behind.

[@FiksIIanzO]

Glad to see Mystery of the Druids getting some love 💚

[@sallowmyst1303]

You talked about Divinity: Original Sin 2, one of my favourite games ever?! Oh my GOD! To add on to the point though, your party disbands once you're on the boat and you have to go around re-recruiting them, so you get to see them all one last time. The ones that weren't in your party when you seized the boat tell you how they got there and everything. Then the boat gets attacked and you find yourself in a strange spirit realm where you get to see their ghosts. So yep, not taking them with you really caused them to die almost immediately. What a bastard :D Pro tip though: Play *as* the Red Prince and feel no remorse, because he's naturally a bastard anyway!

[@MikeRedead333]

Here is an idea: Games that punish you for being too good at them.

[@michaelandreipalon359]

Resident Evil in a nutshell, since the game gets harder the longer you don't suffer.

[@HylianFox3]

Mario Kart

[@roguishpaladin]

Oblivion, because you can overlevel certain skills.

[@abdulmasaiev9024]

That's called "playing on a ladder"

[@angrycandy5441]

Those droods sure have an attitude.

[@cleffa173]

This might not count as 1. It's DLC only and 2. It's admittedly VERY tame compared to the stuff on here, but what about being forced to lie to Kieran in the first half of the Pokemon Scarlet and Violet DLC? There's no dialogue option for you to tell him the truth about what's going on in Kitakami and Ogerpon, and the fact that you're forced to lie to him ends up having pretty bad consequences in the second half.

[@CasualNotice]

To be fair, in the Ghost of Tsushima mission, you used aconite (wolfsbane), so maybe you were trying to ensure none of them turned into werewolves?

[@Otakukunoichi]

Adding one from an indie game (and another point-&-click) The Blackwell Legacy has a puzzle where you sneak a diuretic into a dog biscuit, feed the drugged biscuit to your neighbor's dog, and when he starts pawing the door to be let out, offer to walk him so you can take him to a ghost girl. The creator, Dave Gilbert (not to be confused with Ron) has said he regrets that puzzle and it makes the protagonist come off as a sociopath.

[@FaunaJoy]

I've been waiting for a video like this, cause I hated having to essentially kill Felicity in Borderlands The Pre-Sequel. In the same way Jane did with the white phosphorus, I spent way too much time searching for any other option before giving in.

[@scarletcroc3821]

To be fair to Jin, his uncle’s assault was going to end up with everyone dying and the mongols gaining control of the island if I remember correctly, so it’s really not the worst on this list

[@mr.incorporeal7642]

It's funny, I had no idea that happens in Divinity: Original Sin 2, because one of the very first things I did was download a mod that removes the party size limit (and a few others to crank up the difficulty / number of enemies / etc. to compensate) so I could roll around with all the story character throughout the entire game. I just really hate when RPGs are arbitrarily like "Here's all these cool and interesting characters with meaningful dialogue and plotlines... now pick only two or three to bring with you for literally no justified reason while the rest sit on the ship with their thumbs up their butts."

[@zJoriz]

I bet Mass Effect feels seen now

[@mr.incorporeal7642]

@@zJoriz Sadly there's no expanded party mod for those games, that I've found anyway.

[@chongwillson972]

@@mr.incorporeal7642 the party limit is mostly for replay value and game balance.

[@Lillian2167]

5:22 "Garrett, the gentleman thief that he is" Are we playing different thief games? Garrett absolutely would take that gold, he's got rent to pay. lol

[@thepyroghoul]

Dying Light, burning the medicine. Like, that's a perfect three-way choice between selfish, selfless, and stupid, and the game makes you take stupid in a cutscene.

[@Dutch_is_a_Weird_Language]

Oh my god YES I forgot about that! At least have the thought to conserve some for yourself in a secret stash! Antizine is as vital for your survival as drinking water but much more scarce, why the HELL would you not keep some in case shit goes south?

[@deepfriedpencil]

I'm glad Jane and Ellen always get the commentary on misogyny, feels right. Also, wasn't there a part in Banjo Kazooie where you turn into an alligator and have to eat a much of thinking, feeling nematodes? On the one hand, they were just nematodes, on the other, it mirrors another mission later in the game where you have to protect sentient Christmas lights from an identical fate. So eating Christmas lights is morally wrong but nematodes isn't? Very morally complicated, your N64 platformers.

[@Lagbeard]

"Don't have to steal everything that's nailed down." On the hardest difficulty in Thief, you actually kind of have to for the sake of finishing the objectives.

[@Flaris]

Clearly this comment was clearly written before you finished that section of the video where they mentioned that. But I respect that you clearly felt proud enough about it to not go back and delete it after finishing the video.

[@Lady_Sanctuary]

Always love when they give Mike the pro-stealth bits!

[@markg2701]

I mean for ghost of tsushima these are the same mongols that tortured you, killed Taka, burned lady Masakos husband alive, hung her kids, had to be manipulated into not killing randoms, and in the DLC desecrated the dead with dark magic...

[@wardrobewings8000]

You know the best part about poisoning the homeless in The Mystery of Druids? Halligan's boss hears about it, scolds him and thretens to kick him off the force. Legend. And it's not even the worst thing Halligan does in that game!

[@tristanflynn4014]

What about one of the first things you do in AC: Odyssey when you come across a disease ridden village with people threatening to kill the last occupants in order to contain the disease. The inhabitants, a small family, insists they are not infected and they don't appear to be. Your options are to kill the family and ensure the disease does not spread beyond the village or kill the attackers and give the family some money and let them go. Turns out... if you let them go, they basically start a plague that infects your home island and beyond. The next time you show up they are burning piles of infected corpses and the whole place is a wasteland. If you kill the family, in spite of them being innocents, the island never gets infected and everything is fine.

[@zJoriz]

That's still a choice though... Belongs in another list, the one where you're screwed either way.

[@artturisiikanen3843]

but clearly the family are not innocent.

[@zcreed1776]

I love Mike’s Andromeda shirt. Every time I see it in a video I think about how cool it looks

[@twentysevenpennies5472]

I never thought I'd see mystery of the druids in one of these videos.

[@MultiHydralisk]

Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel. That entire sequence where you stab Felicity in the back while she begs you to spare her, breaking down her A.I code until she's just a broken series of ones and zeroes to make weaponized robots. I literally had to shut off the game and go sit outside for a few minutes after that one. Not one of my finest moments as a gamer.

[@friedipar]

Having to reject 2 Partymembers and missing out on their storys was so unpopular that Larian integrated a mod into the enhanced edition of DOS2 that allows for a Party of 6 instead of 4. It's ludicrously overpowered, so you might just make use of it for the section where you would otherwise lose your buddies

[@petergerling]

Braid is probably my favorite game of all time! I've played that game over and over so many times… tremendous musical score and when I found out there are hidden stars to collect by just trying to see if I can get out of the level in a different way…… everybody should play that game at least a dozen times😇

[@blind7000]

18:45 - by definition Medical Grade 90% Ethanol cannot contain Methanol, it evaporates far too early in the distillation process. 90% pure ethanol is Everclear.

[@WastedPo]

Mystery of the Druids! The adventure genre is my favorite. Nice to see one get a shout out on these lists every once in a while. (I assume this was Andy's doing.)

[@savvythedivineyethuggable7493]

3:19 Okay, you know what? Hot Take: It's not our fault for us to keep playing the videogame that we bought, *especially* if we don't get much say in what happens. The videogame having messages that blame us doesn't make it any better. We should not be held accountable for something we were forced to do. 16:28 Furry confirmed?

[@nplt8263]

You know, when I saw Mandalore review Mystery of the Droods, I was certain it would be confined to small and obscure corners of the internet. The thumbnail however, proved me wrong, and gave me some serious whiplash.

[@michaelandreipalon359]

Really good whiplash, even.

[@ZombieEater73]

Andy, I wouldn't take much stock in Soulja Boy's assessment of Braid. We are after all speaking of "rapper, artist, and successful mogul" who couldn't write a single song that barely exceeded 2 minutes yet somehow manages to shove his name into 40+ times and thinks he's immune to international copyright laws. (quotations included because I use these words EXTREMELY loosely)

[@bisurker]

You forgot "single handedly killed hip hop" according to Ice-T circa 2009.

[@AslanJazzLan]

I lost it at "you pick the big posh lizard guy and... two others... I guess..." 😅😅😅

[@kaschmonet]

What about the Arrival DLC in Mass Effect 2. We had no choice but to blow up a Batarian Colony in the end, even if we tried to warn them.

[@joenesvick7043]

and why don't they just blame that on Amanda Kenson, because Commander Shepard is the hero we deserve and not the one we need, that works

[@Brian.S]

Rebel Galaxy Outlaw is another example of potentially trying to leave a criminal life behind, but the story drags you back in.

[@sebastianwlodarczyk]

Cheers Oxbox, you've just saved me a replay of Spec Ops- phosphorous shelling was probably the decision I felt the worst about (and in case of this game, that's a competition) And to anyone reading this: if you haven't played "Spec Ops: the Line" already, go play it. Seriously. It won't leave you happy or content* with yourself, but it's worth it. And the game's really cheap if you catch it on sale. *Thank you Patrick for spotting my mistake!

[@patrickmccurry1563]

I'm assuming contempt was a Freudian slip for content.

[@sebastianwlodarczyk]

@@patrickmccurry1563 Oh crap, how did I missed that before posting? Thanks for pointing it out! :)

[@carlsiouxfalls]

After passing through Mass Effect's Collector base or the halls of the Citadel at the end of ME3, the visuals of piles of corpses don't mean as much. Sure in Spec Ops it's "your fault" and a "war crime" but since it's actually just pixels of unknown people I don't remember feeling too bad about it when I played the game. I feel worse going through Skyrim's holds as a vampire lord slaughtering the named npcs for perk points for a trophy, even if I revert back to an earlier save afterwards.

[@SonicRooncoPrime]

I'm wondering if this was meant to go up at 9pm UK time (I think) or if someone was trying to hide their misdeeds from their coworkers. Hmm...