7 Months as a Family | Post Adoption Update

[@TheChoiceofMotherhood]

In this video, I talk about some hard things that I'm trying to process still. I'm NOT looking for suggestions. We've been working hard for over seven months now and I don't have the emotional energy to go through all the things we've tried and why things didn't work. Please trust that the doctors and specialists know what they are doing. There has been a lot going on "behind the scenes" that I haven't talked about because I try to keep most medical stuff somewhat private. We are at the point now that it's something I need to talk about, and is going to be a big part of my parenting journey. I'll be doing a video later explaining more, and answering questions. I've been putting off talking about it publicly because I was hoping it could be avoided. Now, since it can't be, I'm sharing to vent/get support and in hopes that it might help others going through the same thing. If at any point I don't feel safe discussing medical things, all talk will stop. I hope you all understand. Please keep this space a safe place for me, please keep this space a safe place for helping others. Thank you for your support. Please leave any questions you have below and I will try to answer them in another video.

[@Mari-kq6cy]

how will the thing that shall not be named effect your childcare options?

[@TheChoiceofMotherhood]

unfortunately limits our already limited options (inclusivity is a lie, it doesn't exist). I'll talk about it in the next video.

[@ornakenan5261]

Know why you’re that upset? Cause you’re her Mama 🤗

[@TheChoiceofMotherhood]

thanks!

[@sannatiisanoja2110]

You ARE doing amazing job!! You got this mama!!

[@TheChoiceofMotherhood]

Thanks!

[@courtney.22]

Surgery is surgery, no matter how simple it is. You have every right to be upset when it comes to your child. ❤

[@brionyhall4250]

Exactly. Gosh, my mother broke down in tears when I was 16 and had a tooth surgically removed because it was a bit complicated and needed a hospital trip. Seeing such emotion shows love and bond.

[@TheChoiceofMotherhood]

thanks!

[@brionyhall4250]

❤️ Share whatever you'd like, as little or as much as you want. We'll support your decisions x

[@courtney.22]

Agreed!

[@TheChoiceofMotherhood]

thanks!

[@annabekind247]

My heart goes out to you. You’re upset because that’s how every mummy feels when it comes to their children needing surgery and having struggles. I’d be far more worried if you weren’t feeling like this. I have children with additional needs and one is having surgery in a few weeks. I know it’s needed but it’s a horrible thought, even though it’s needed. You are no different, we just grew our families in a different way. It doesn’t take long to get used to tubes etc from a practical point of view but it’s a head spinner none the less. Much love xx

[@TheChoiceofMotherhood]

Thanks!

[@lauriemacdonald5825]

🌻🌼🏵️🌸🌹💮🌼🌻Happy Mother"s Day!🌼🌺🏵️🌻🌸🌹💮💕

[@TheChoiceofMotherhood]

Thank you! You too!

[@lindabristow9185]

Good morning Michelle Hope things are better. I have followed your story since adoption day. I just want to tell you that people that watch your videos feel for you in your situation,so if a suggestion bubbles out,please don't take offense.We realize you are a first time mama. The "experts" don't have all the answers. Perhaps someone else has been in a similar situation as yours with their child. If you don't like their suggestion,maybe just dismiss it? If a suggestion does bubble forth,know that the viewer means no harm.We all wish you the best.Perhaps you may hear a suggestion that actually helps. You will feel much better when all this is past,and little Emris feels better and can enjoy her yummy food! We are all in your corner! Hang in there!

[@TheChoiceofMotherhood]

Thank you. The reason I specifically ask for no suggestions is that I hear the same things over and over and over again. It's tiring to repeat a million times why something doesn't work. We have tried a ton of things, from experts and others. I know people are just trying to be helpful but it's not. If I'm looking for advice or ideas I usually will say that I am because I do value other peoples ideas, but it's very frustrating to specifically say I'm not looking for suggestions but then have someone ask "have you tried smoothies" when I've been asked that exact things a million times and we have tried it multiple times. After almost eight months of trying things, why during that time would we never think about smoothies? Most people don't understand feeding trauma or trauma in general. Most people do not understand the life of children in orphanages. Even doctors don't understand that she won't take a bottle or a sippy cup, or that she will take a straw one meal but not the next. It's not that I'm trying to be rude or dismissive, it's just extremely tiring to hear people say the same thing over and over again when I know it doesn't work. Online, people only hear and see a very small part of our lives when we are dealing with things on a minute-to-minute basis. I ask for no suggestions so I can share about the situation without the draining explaining that I'm forced to do what someone suggests something. It really makes me want to either turn off comments or stop sharing altogether. Edit to add: Yes, I am a first-time mom, but I know for a fact that most of my viewers have ZERO experience with adoption, ZERO experience with Down syndrome, ZERO experience with feeding trauma. I ask for advice when I know that it's a general parenting issue (like sleep), otherwise, me being a first-time mom has nothing to do with it since most of my viewers have no experience with what we are dealing with. Having a child that you gave birth to, that is neurotypical, does not help when you have ZERO experience with orphanage-related issues in a child with special needs.

[@chalkpaintandsawdust6820]

sorry to hear /see you upset. honestly I think it's just the "unknown" portion getting you upset. I hope It all.goes well 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 keep me posted reach out whenever you need!

[@TheChoiceofMotherhood]

Thanks!

[@lindabristow9185]

We didn't see Emris! Sorry you are going thru a difficult time

[@TheChoiceofMotherhood]

Thanks

[@Hailiesworld333]

Awe sis u had me crying this whole video because I truly know your heart and I know u love her and u don't want her to have to go thru all her medical problems. And it's a natural mom feeling, and u are an awesome mom and I know u do your research and I see how exhausted u are trying all things just to get her to a new normal. U got this sis and u are sooo strong and brave and your heart is the biggest I've ever known. I'm praying for u both and I look forward to these updates sis of u and my adorable niece. She's almost there and I'm praying she starts to be able to take her liquids and for the surgery to be a success. U look great and keep up the awesome work Mommy. And positive love to Rebecca and her journey to motherhood.

[@TheChoiceofMotherhood]

thanks!

[@lindabristow9185]

Michelle,can you get a second opinion? If you are not comfortable,I guess it's an option.Would she take a smoothie? On camera,she looks like a good size. I think this little girl is well taken care of by her mum. You're doing a great job with her. Parenting has its rough moments!

[@TheChoiceofMotherhood]

Thanks, but like I said, not looking for advice or suggestions as we have tried everything. She is not a good size and is losing weight.

[@mikek9652]

How does she eat Cheerios? Dry

[@TheChoiceofMotherhood]

If they are a snack and we are working on self feeding, yes just dry. If it's a meal I put a bit of soymilk on top and we use a spoon.

[@mikek9652]

Makes sense

[@mikek9652]

@@TheChoiceofMotherhood so if she eats them dry,she has no problem swallowing,right?

[@TheChoiceofMotherhood]

@@mikek9652 no issues at all. She will occasionally cough on food if she doesn't chew enough but generally no issues with solids.

[@mikek9652]

@@TheChoiceofMotherhood that's a good sign. So she can swallow liquids as well? Maybe it's the way liquid feels in her mouth that she won't take them?

[@munafruit]

sending love 💖💖💖💖💖

[@TheChoiceofMotherhood]

Thanks