7 Things I Wish I Knew When I Began Dating After Divorce

[@JonathonAslay]

FREE Call with Jonathon► jonathonaslay.com/coaching Join My VIP Group for $7-- jonathonaslay.com/midlifelove How Men Choose Their SoulMate (FREE Gift) www.jonathonaslay.com/gift/ Self-Love the Book: www.selflovethebook.com The "What Would Love Do?" Podcast www.jonathonaslay.com/category/podcast/ Recommended Books jonathonaslay.com/book-recommendations Follow Me On Instagram instagram.com/jonathonaslay/ Join this channel to get access to perks: kzbin.info/door/DOXs_34FF93o66Z-S0py1gjoin Get a FREE copy of my dating vows here: www.jonathonaslay.com/datingvows

[@anneu9158]

I loved the show Hart to Hart. We need a show like that now.

[@JonathonAslay]

Indeed

[@ernestoamato9748]

I appreciate your honesty. I’m 4 months separated and have been working on myself, in therapy, reading all the right books…and am getting closer to a beautiful women all the while knowing i should be alone…

[@oanaelena4001]

Your points are definitely valid, and help me understand things I go through now. I really think the " Be with someone who would wipe your vomit after chemo" rule when dating is the most important ❤keeping that in mind!

[@JonathonAslay]

Exactly

[@JustCammie]

This is resonating. This is sinking in. I'm definitely feeling this one, Johnathan. Oh, man. I'm 39 years young so it's not too late, I guess. And still so much to learn. Blessings to you.

[@JonathonAslay]

Thanks for listening

[@sallysmithy9860]

You do give the listeners a good talk of advice. I can't imagine all the learning you have done. I have more compassion for animals. I admire that you are into all the psychology .

[@JonathonAslay]

I appreciate that!

[@labab1048]

If we don’t do the inner shadow work on ourselves, these “issues” will creep back into a new relationship…also, you cannot put the key to your own happiness in someone else’s pocket. Your happiness has to be YOUR happiness from within YOUR sole first. A relationship can add to the happiness that you already possess, but it can’t BE the happiness. That is what 24 years (mostly decent) of marriage ending taught me. I didn’t go on any dating sites, and only had one 4 month relationship within the 8yrs after divorce…Am in a fantastic relationship going on 10 months now, but I have to remind myself of the “happiness factor” and who’s responsible.

[@JonathonAslay]

Exactly

[@monikabennettprestwood]

I enjoyed this topic. I agree with all your points you made. Using dating apps is a numbers game. I do want to add that it gets so frustrating when men and women are not truthful in their profile. I just keep swimming and learning more as I go. I try and stay positive! Thanks for sharing your advice and experience.

[@helenlooney3430]

I remember that show Heart to Heart

[@JonathonAslay]

Exactly

[@captainjacksparrow3225]

@@monikabennettprestwood Hello dear.

[@andre1987eph]

she's looking for a retirement plan.

[@Callahan-w8j]

Your candor in this video is very refreshing and by being vulnerable, you earn trust.

[@JonathonAslay]

Thank you 😊

[@michellekarst3990]

Hi Jonathon thanks for your help don’t be so hard on yourself we are all in this world together and we are human. You’re a great guy and have done so much for so many. I am doing the inner work now and it’s hard to feel pain when you don’t want to. Peace and hugs to you always

[@JonathonAslay]

Awe... thank you 😊

[@playacting]

I love that show!

[@lindsaybrown3770]

This is so true, we need to take responsibility for our own actions and to become aware of all ways our traumas show up, especially when we are looking for a relationship. It seems much easier now to access information, techniques and practices which help soothe and integrate our younger selves. I just recently discovered IFS, internal family systems….. Big love to everyone out there who has the courage to keep an open, loving heart and who has the capacity to look inwards in the hope of creating healthy, beautiful relationships…,🤗

[@naddyn685]

That’s a lovely comment

[@Sunlightsam24]

I am the biggest fan of IFS, I found it to be freeing, in my body, and learned what self love really means and take the approach in day to day circumstances on my own.

[@JonathonAslay]

Amen 🙏

[@andre1987eph]

All my life I had a problem with the word "dating" and never knew why Now almost age 60 I realize why. I don't "date". I have rare relationships with females whom I meet organically, spontaneously. Being single and alone is my default mode.

[@queenofwands111]

How come that so many men don't know they are not really ready for a relationship? They think they are, they say they are, but when it might get serious they run away and are surprised to notice that they are not ready. Why don't guys know that? Do they know or feel themselves so poorly? That's so frustrating!

[@JonathonAslay]

Unconscious

[@naddyn685]

I remember and loved Hart to Hart. Mrs H and Max!

[@JonathonAslay]

Yes ❤️ ❤️

[@cyn5962]

Yes, that was a good show.

[@anikaray4192]

I wished I had taken more time for myself after my divorce to get to know and love myself ❤But this is something that I learned years later how to consciously date with intention.I really appreciate you as you have been a part of that journey for me by empowering me to ask deeper questions of myself and others, to acknowledge also things like lifestyles and other compatibility. I am still single but happier and more empowered than I've ever been in my life and it took divorce and 2 relationships later to get to be open to this level of self-love.❤❤❤

[@JonathonAslay]

❤️🙏❤️

[@paulafrate9519]

I find the numbers game exhausting also...even meeting with someone for just coffee gets exhausting but in that process it's easier to see how quick someone is to rush to judgment or get annoyed or begin put-downs....Honestly, there are a lot of really nice guys out ther but I rarely find one that has intelectual compatibility, a blendable lifestyle, shared values, emaotional maturity, AND chemistry...sigh

[@celiamartinezdeweart3979]

All trainings, therapys , what ever , it not matters at all the only thing it matters is the disposition, the chemistry and willingness of both parties

[@JonathonAslay]

How about communication skills?

[@julieangle9721]

My favorite show growing up was the incredible hulk, Bill Bixby, the drifter, from town to town to be the hero, but short term relationships, trauma, abuse and moral elements that made him change into the gentle green giant, another fictional character but he left an impression on strangers, lol my mom would always say he's hard on his clothes, next chapter was borrowing shirts from a strangers clothesline 😅❤❤❤

[@JonathonAslay]

Love that show...

[@julieangle9721]

@@JonathonAslay lol, me too, funny yet dramatic, still has a softer side right

[@SummerHawaii582]

Why would a guy say he loves me. 3 days later cancel plans without reason twice in one week??

[@pj3770]

Actions speak louder than words.

[@TracyLynn75]

Did you sleep with him?

[@midnightblue117]

“ he LOVES you????😂

[@Tbn48ibp]

He’s a liar , only wants some attention or affection , I’d say run forest. Run ,,,,,,

[@patty8945]

he plays with you. Narcissits do it, they get kick out of it. Educate yourself about narcissism.They do it on purpose to hurt you and enjoy your pain.

[@CatherineInColorado]

Your journey and experiences have taught me a great deal and I think it is cool that you are single like most of us watching you. The history of your name is really cool by the way. Hart to Hart was an awesome show! ❤ 2 ❤

[@JonathonAslay]

I appreciate that

[@Sunlightsam24]

Most people who go on line while a relationship is crumbling or after a marriage/divorce are there to prove to ourselves that we’re still attractive and desired. It’s easy to do…

[@livelearnandgrow5422]

You speak the truth

[@JonathonAslay]

Yes

[@JustCammie]

If you're not in a relationship, it's because you haven't found the right person just yet. Previous relationships are equally valid data to draw from. There are excellent points to some of my previous relationships. There was a reason we were together! But your relationship status doesn't make your advice any less valid from my perspective.

[@sherriflemming3218]

Yes, we all know what we don't want again! Same guy, different body.

[@JustCammie]

@@sherriflemming3218 Yes!! Exactly!

[@anikaray4192]

Yes I totally agree with you this is what I believe as well ❤🙏

[@JonathonAslay]

Exactly

[@marguskiis7711]

Its very difficult to find a suitable woman for a man. Bc 45plus women are massively problematic ones.

[@sallysmithy9860]

I think this is a learned road you are now guided to help others along with nurturing yourself. You now have contact by people who admire you, at least mostly I would guess. I remember in high school, I dated 3 guys at the same time. WOW NOT A GOOD IDEA!! LOL

[@JonathonAslay]

Yes

[@HomewithEssie]

16:12 this part 🎯

[@sallysmithy9860]

I feel that if the marriage doesn't last long, then the pain is easier to cope even though, Yes it's crappy! It's nice you have gone through self therapy and you are still finding out life. I feel that parents from the 50s and earlier didn't function the same why as could be now. I feel that the roles of man and woman have changed which makes the parenting so different. The bond between a couple takes communication constantly. Patience And humor. 😊😅😂❤❤

[@zensvlognotapro]

On criticisms JA I become improve more on criticisms than praise. Becoming better is a process too. Criticism makes us change ourselves for the better praise or compliment makes us inspired and happy. - My own quote 😊- #QuoteQueen😊

[@debbiebyrum5636]

Jonathan, what are your thoughts on a big age gap in dating in your 50s 60s and 70s? I’m talking like 15 to 18 years age gap

[@captainjacksparrow3225]

I love such relationship, wish I could find someone with such age gap Cox age is just a number.

[@Lindartist]

You are so helpful. (For me the videos are too long. Many others are only 7-12 minutes )

[@JonathonAslay]

Noted

[@NatalieG-yi3pn]

Thanks for sharing. I know you mentioned that you went out with a lot of women after your divorce who seemed hurt by all the men they went out with, but men do this too - many men say their ex took all their money and they are mean, etc. Was curious if you threw ex partners under the bus on previous dates?I think we are all guilty of doing this.

[@anir8023]

Jonathan, would you be so kind to allocate me to the video where u shared your dating profile description . I struggle to find it 🤓thank you

[@JonathonAslay]

I'm not sure which one you are referring to...

[@anir8023]

@@JonathonAslay ah, there was a live a month or 2 ago where you took out ur notes and you shared ur dating profile description of what you are looking for . You said it might sound intimidating to some but that way we find those who will align .

[@celiamartinezdeweart3979]

Me too, I have been divorced for 20 years !!! I still getting as...l .

[@captainjacksparrow3225]

I pray love finds you again

[@susanharrie3326]

❤

[@JonathonAslay]

❤️

[@deepaknambisan3251]

I named my dog Freeway 😍

[@Gigiyoungerme]

👋

[@Seer_96]

Coaches are for basketball not dating... i can't believe how much i hate that word Cant you guys use instructor

[@JonathonAslay]

You might want to read the definition

[@marguskiis7711]

A divorce is a massive failure. And a man can NOT love himself after a massive failure. Failure means you are weak. Period.

[@JonathonAslay]

Are weak people bad people in your book? Can a human make mistakes?

[@marguskiis7711]

​@JonathonAslay maybe in States failures are common thing but in Europe noone forgives fails. Better to move away.

[@marguskiis7711]

​@@JonathonAslay​@JonathonAslay maybe in States failures are common thing but in Europe noone forgives fails. Better to move away.