7 Times It Was the Darkest Possible Timeline

[@hellfire2180]

Dark starkiller: (hugs and then stabs Han Solo) Kylo ren: *hey, that's pretty neat*

[@laserutouettal]

Empress Roth-Jane *Kylo Ren furiously begins taking notes*

[@regularbloke2117]

Harrison ford : finally

[@mariaealfaro3300]

Also Kylo ren: i think i'll take it

[@TheChoujinVirus]

*meanwhile in the ST* Rey: Alright Kylo..we need to team up to kill Palpatine *Kylo fades* Rey: Kylo? uh..Kylo?...What am I doing here?

[@duck3819]

"WRITE THAT DOWN, WRITE THAT DOWN!"

[@HipToBeeSquare]

So fun fact about the LotR: Conquest one -- when you do take control of Sauron you can absolutely still die. I took control of him then immediately got killed by an eagle... There was no option to play as him again so I had to finish the game with a rando orc. Easily one of the funniest gaming moments I remember.

[@111Cut]

I'm so glad I wasn't the only one that that happened to... I feel for ya brother

[@lucasriddle5538]

God I remember that happening to me and my friend all the time lol

[@cmdrtelcontar5053]

I don't even choose to play as Sauron at that part usually. I just keep playing as the Balrog, he's way more powerful (and quite a poetic end for Gandalf).

[@hazama762]

I kept getting killed by those eagles. Every time I thought I was about to kick ass as whatever evil badass. Bam! Eagle.

[@raymondjones7423]

I'm sorry that voice of the orc or Sauron in those clips slays me everytime🤣😂😂🤣 It's so malevolent it's hillarious

[@brendanobrien8198]

My favorite part about growing up in American history is learning about the ghost bear powers we used to stop the British

[@kylefitz.2639]

Right?

[@ryanhawkins2227]

Brendan O'Brien uhhhh your being dumb

[@kylefitz.2639]

+Ryan Hawkins *Sarcastic

[@juanitab7076]

Are you being dumb? What about the 7 million pyramids that destroyed everything

[@anthonyjones8643]

Don't you work with the British to beat Washington in the dlc?

[@APyralis]

For the Dragon Age Darkest Timeline, there’s a second darkest possible timeline. You drink the blood, adventure onward to become the amazing Grey Warden... and at the very last battle of the game glitch out so bad your save file becomes corrupt and you lose 60 hours of gameplay. It gets even darker when you contact EA Support.

[@1993rnicholson]

EA 'Support'

[@nicholaslowry2366]

My favorite part of the Sauron bit in lotr: conquest was when I walked onto the bridge, ready to duke it out with Gandalf, and then promptly got picked up by a giant eagle and dropped from a few hundred feet, killing the dark lord instantly.

[@Zezlemetkun]

Gandalf:If anyone asked I defeated him in an one on one epic duel

[@buuam7555]

@@Zezlemetkun just and fair single combat... you all saw

[@jacktaylor6253]

"so why didnt we do this in the movies? we may have lost 3 or 4 but we woulda got his ass"

[@jellyjeffrey7350]

“Those who survive The Joining become immune to the Taint.” How can you say that line without giggling?

[@jakewoodhouse9817]

I don't know. I can't even think it without laughing.

[@gothnerd887]

Because they're British

[@Dovah_Slayer]

​@@gothnerd887 isn't.... taint British slang?

[@Plosif]

In every possible timeline han solo gets a lightsaber through the chest

[@akl2k7]

The X Plosif Guy Except for Legends. In that one, it's Chewbacca who dies.

[@katharsis3283]

Joseph Micheal Holland but he won't be a legend in the Light side

[@roguedogx]

The X Plosif Guy that's what's known as a "fixed point"

[@rag-rajarshibanerjee5699]

Doctor strange: "all...but one..." **Han dies** Oh wait no

[@blbradford73]

Raji Banerjee In that timeline, Han Dies in the snappening.

[@sahilhussain7328]

So it's 7 timelines in which Jane picked what happens.

[@dallydaydream]

Psht, insinuating that Jane would ever kill her videogame boyfriend Alistair.

[@jjtomecek1623]

DallyDaydream if she knows it had to be done, she would do it though

[@ryanwalker5654]

Fun fact: stinky the hutt is still cannon but starkiller is not

[@osmarcarlos1159]

Well, the nephew of chewbacca is cannon too

[@hehexd3692]

I feel like they didn’t want Starkiller to be canon since they added the inquisitors and what not. Plus starkiller always made Vader not feel as op/overwhelming like he is in the canon universe

[@iamsatire2883]

This is truly the darkest timeline

[@premiumheadpats4150]

Oof.

[@paydaygh9388]

Thanks Disney

[@KenzieKaddl]

Dragon age inquisition: when Dorian and the protag go forward in time where corypheus wins and everyone’s enslaved and addicted to lyrium

[@spacejesus6581]

I hated how the templars were an option in that and the game pretends time travel doesn't exist if you choose the templars I also love how: You kill Alistair's, one of the most important characters, mother, with no other dialogue or anything Time travel isn't a thing at all There are no time travel rifts in Redcliff The only thing in that quest that matters is being fast with the bad combat and finding evidence on that one Templar Seriously, the Templars should not be an option compared to the Mages, which has Alistair's mother survive, you can get a cameo from Connor, you see the actual result of Corypheus' plot instead of just a small paper plan, you get Samus as a secondary villain (admittedly not as good as the elven girl in terms of character arc)...the Mages are definitely the way to go, and that's ignoring the entire idea of getting help You need more power to assault the Breech, your option are to greatly boost your power to break through...or weaken the fade itself with a couple Templars?

[@nathanwinters2400]

@@spacejesus6581 I think they should have combined them, in a sense. For me, I liked the Templar side more when it came it tangibility. I honestly think that time travel is extremely iffy at best, and honestly it's a can better left sealed. Instead they could have had the Templar's invade Redcliffe, having parallels between Origin's Darkspawn Invasion and Demon shenanigan's where it's revealed that the Lord Seeker is indeed possessed- a really good reason as to why the Templar are still pushing for war despite both sides suffering terribly, and still choosing to fight despite the fact that there's a damn HOLE in the SKY. From there it's quite simple, the demon is released from Corin's body and pulls you into a Fade adjacent realm like it does, and shows you a possible future in order to try and get information as to how you'd react. In the middle you can have Felix and Fiona trying to do the right thing and either stop the madness or be trying to help as many escape the Templar invasion as possible, learn that Gereon is tied to the fanatical Venatori and is trading the mages under his "care" to Corypeus in order to buy time for his son- perhaps Corypheus being darkspawn himself he'd know a thing or two and be using it to get easy followers via the use of one man's convictions. You could then have a choice: support the remaining Templar's in the purge of the mages (for the events of Kirkwall) or defend the mages by either using say, Cassandra as a Seeker to force them to retreat or outright become vengeance driven and try to completely dismantle the Order for all of it's past transgressions. And then the last things are simple, let Dorian say good-bye to Felix, inprision/execute Gereon Alexius, recruit either Fiona/Delrin Barris (that way both can survive or one can die- heck even place it on a time limit where if you're too late then both can be monsters/brainwashed), and finally return to Haven to find out that Corypheus used the assault as a distraction to build his forces for a direct attack on the unsuspecting Inquisition Forces. Badabing Badaboom. Hi I have too much time to think.

[@spacejesus6581]

@@nathanwinters2400 one problem, if you have the opportunity to take the Mages and Templars, or kill one entire faction while recruiting the other....how is Corypheus building his forces? His army is either the Mages or Templars depending on which one you take from him, if you take both from him he only has the Grey Wardens at that point and there are no more than 10,000 in all of Thedas....meanwhile you command the entire Circle of Magi/Templar Order or both, in addition to alliances from countries such as Ferelden etc....Cory doesn't have anything close to an army left

[@nathanwinters2400]

@@spacejesus6581 Well yes and no. Other than the Venatori and the Grey Wardens- he also had Orlais as a possible way to grow his forces. Granted it's later in the game. Not to mention, even if you "save" the Templar, there are still a shit ton of Red Templar in the game as enemies. Besides, it's a game. They could come up with a better damn reason. I honestly to this day don't understand how the greatly diminished Circle of Magi or the supposedly weakened Red Templar filled out 90% of his forces on their own. What I'm getting at is... there are a shit ton of gullible nimrods in Thedas, just like the real world. Use them?

[@patrikhjorth3291]

"If you were going to make him your apprentice, maybe let him keep his hand?" Mike, haven't you noticed that heavy body modifications are a significant part of the Dark Side in Star Wars? Prostheses are all the rage! Sometimes literally.

[@mar_speedman]

No it ain't. Ask Sion. Sure, he might not have had the best complexion, but I don't see any prosthetics.

[@ryanhawkins5082]

Count dooku! He has both hands- oh wait never mind he died from a lightsaber decapitation

[@Mark73]

I don't think the emperor had any body mods.

[@Dovah_Slayer]

​@@mar_speedman they mean in the empire era not the old republic era

[@mar_speedman]

@@Dovah_Slayer They mean sith, and they're all sith regardless of eras

[@polkarrty]

Would an evil alternate universe oxbox have good Jane and super passive aggressive luke

[@lunamoon6034]

Dapper Horus yes

[@auntiegarfunkel]

Dapper Horus well we do already have Evil Luke...

[@JachAnen]

Jane would at lest be medium evil. Like pineapple-on-pizza evil.

[@matthewknudson2443]

You have dared to say the dark goddess is good, you will pay for it

[@beepboprobotsnot3748]

Matthew Knudson no no no, he said the polar opposite of Jane would be good.

[@sovashchetty4838]

I'm surprised the dark Oxtra timeline didn't get a mention. While Evil Luke might look dashing in that turtleneck his eyes tell a terrifying tale.

[@AutomaticDuck300]

Sovash Chetty I think that evil Luke would actually bring dinosaurs back. I don't know what evil Ellen would do, though.

[@sovashchetty4838]

LemonZeppelin Make a giant world dominating cat.

[@Gloomdrake]

Cyrus T. Lazerpunch will stop them

[@carpemkarzi]

Nah, Jane will keep him in line

[@AutomaticDuck300]

Sovash Chetty or she would enact a global Ellening

[@ShivamSharma-sg7dk]

I misread the title. I thought it said "Dankest timeline". Reaaally wanted to know more. After realising, that this, in fact, is a video about "Darkest timelines", I would just like to respectfully request a video on the "7 Times it was the Dankest possible timeline." as well.

[@herosshade2247]

"...A nation born not of courage and brotherhood, but of greed and desire for absolute power." I thought this was supposed to be an *alternate* timeline.

[@zombiecat6875]

Yeah lol

[@ptonpc]

Jane: "At least we still have John Hannah..." Andy: "No we don't!" Jane: "So who have I got chained up in my basement then?"

[@anarchyantz1564]

Lets face it, Jane does have a lot of people chained up in her "Fungeon" pit.

[@domotoro3552]

Wait what property was this?

[@LadyOnikara]

@@anarchyantz1564 Except my Argonian Skyrim character.... he managed to escape by disguising himself as a milkman.

[@ayanhaider303]

I'll tell you the real darkest possible timeline, the one where John Marston didn't go on fun cowboy adventures forever and instead, spent his time doing missions for horrible Uncle and Jack and eventually ended up dying in a hail of gunfire.

[@stevenchoza6391]

In other words, our actual timeline.

[@mattersofdarkness2674]

Steven Choza Yup, that’s the joke.

[@stevenchoza6391]

Mario Gorganzola I know... I was being a killjoy. 😈😈😈

[@weebaverage3026]

Ayan Haider Thats crazy.... right?

[@ceceliaacaba2739]

Aww don’t make Ellen cry again! 😭

[@HinduKhajiit]

Did you forget the alternate timeline where the Outside Xbox is purple themed and has only 2 hosts in contrast to the 3 ?

[@TheSpidersider]

And it's called Inside Playstation.

[@dragon-kitty]

2 hosts? Oh God! What did Jane do to Andy!?

[@HinduKhajiit]

TheSpidersider Oh no, no, no. The channel I speak of is hosted by a girl small enough to fit in a poster bag and a guy tall enough to.....uh.... have archeopteryx as his favorite dinosaur.

[@onememeyboi6818]

Last Tenno Thank god that's not real

[@pyromaticidiot9785]

Literally every alternate injustice ending lol

[@mpck19]

I keep falling asleep at 2am watching these videos, it's always fun waking up to see what video is playing

[@kingtai9341]

doing exactly that on friday the 13th currently 2:18 am lmao

[@JB-tx5fm]

What about Dragon Age: Inquisition when the crazy mage dude sends you forward in time to when all your friends are poisoned with red lyrium and the world is amuck with demons and darkspawn???

[@gunz4handz146]

I think they meant actual stories not missions but if they count missions yes that would be correct

[@aardbei54]

Gunz4handz14 The terminator one was a mission

[@willieoelkers5568]

They usually just do one instance per franchise unless the whole list is about a franchise. Plus, you get to fix the one in Inquisition, but with Darkspawn Chronicles there's no hope. None whatsoever...

[@Heartshapedbox81]

JB arguably an even darker timeline at least the other one still has a chance they're still Wardens and they survived longer blights than the fifth but in that timeline there seems to be no hope, everyone has the blight or is dead

[@grigoriechegaray9023]

That is why i always side with templars and restore the circle

[@BesterP12]

Kotor 1 darkside. Revan rises again. Destroys the republic, betrays their friends and... "Uses the life debt a wookie owes them to force that wookie to kill his best friend"? Seriously?

[@mar_speedman]

It's technically more of a 'bad RP decisions' thing. All Role-play games should have them, in theory.

[@BiTheBooks]

Why is it every time someone's corrupted by a piece of Eden in the AC series, they feel compelled to build a pyramid? Are the pieces subliminally teaching people geometry? That means games are trying make me learn! Yeah, the Assassins were right, best to just avoid using them altogether.

[@RazorO2Productions]

Jake Stoneking I'm not saying ancient precursor technology, *but ancient precursor technology*

[@BiTheBooks]

RazorO2Productions They're probably full of nanomachines too...

[@RazorO2Productions]

Jake Stoneking *SON*

[@BiTheBooks]

Florezkids Probably because it was easier to build a megastructure that took thousands upon thousands of hours of manpower to construct than it was to convey humor, be it good or bad, in the context of a comment...if I had to guess.

[@nekrotika1]

Nanomachines son...... damn i missed metal gear rising

[@Nyahahameha]

You can see Frodo and Pippin. Carried by Frodo is a small gold ring. What will you do? >Kill Frodo

[@goofu]

pour boiling milk on his skull

[@hamishwalker9637]

You attack Frodo. He attacks back, but the effort is wasted. Your defense is too strong.

[@Gumegguai]

TAKE THE RING

[@hmasterchaos8700]

Why is pippin with him?

[@reigndrinker9657]

Lord Scribe But Frodo is our friend!

[@vc180191]

6. The other fun thing is that there's a codex for the timeline, where you can read up some of the pivotal differences in the plot of the original game that happened based on what Alistair did by himself. This includes why certain main characters have different personalities, why the heck Alistair named your dog "Barkspawn" and why Zevran was hanging around the alienage rather than with the party (rather than letting him redeem himself, Alistair threatened to kill him if he ever faced him again, so he was hiding out in the Alienage to avoid his pursuers when you decided to burn it down).

[@Luca_Kusanagi]

I named the dog Barkspawn every time after I saw Alistair name him that

[@isbammoi3358]

Can your name come up as Cyrus T. Laserpunch forever from now on? Because that's absolutely amazing. Or even better, on random occasion to see who catches it 😂

[@animatrix1490]

I TuesdayReference I Maybe Mr. Laserpunch is Bud Fensler's newest client?

[@toongrowner1]

This totally needs to be a thing. XD Would be funny for the people who discover this channel much much later. "His name is what?"

[@MichaelStroup]

I Sbammo I that would be awesome!

[@ribunny123]

Dragon Age: Inquisition has a great part where you were thrown into a portal to the future, said future was fucked up due to you having been transferred there, you see what happens to all of your friends if you were to disappear and the villian were to go unchallenged. It's super interesting because you think to yourself "well I didn't experience all this and I'll simply travel back and change it all" but a character, Liliana, calls you out and says "for you it's been a few seconds and a day, but for us? We lived through this. We suffered without you" something like that. An interesting twist on fixing a bad timeline.

[@jackmeoff2367]

Ri Dragon yeah she says something about having to actually endure that torture, for the inquisitor it's all a bad dream but it's her reality

[@dobbsi346]

What about injustice? Can't get much worse than evil Superman (especially in the bad ending of 2)

[@link77779]

Dragon Age has another darkest timeline in Inquisition. Liliana is my favorite character in the whole series, so watching what happens during the mage recruitment quest was really hard to go through, especially with how much she's clearly been through while you were gone.

[@roguesquadron521]

Same, luckily for them my Warden wasnt around else there would have been hell to pay.

[@sakasil2]

Interesting fact about The Shire in LotR is that if you have read the books there was a part known as the Scouring of the Shire. so Sauron walking into the shire and booting hobbit's faces off is not far off from the mark. just replace Sauron with Saruman and Grima then take the events of how Saruman dies in the movies and place it in the shire, and Grima slitting Saruman's throat instead of stabbing him then the hobbits shooting Grima and you have the real events that happened in the Shire.

[@wolverinephillips6530]

Lord of the Rings: Conquest was such an underrated game. I always enjoyed playing it.

[@torgranael]

I only ever played it on DSi (never as good as PC/console, but this was before I got my own PC). Pretty good. First time I'd ever seen a defeat meaning your side surrendered/retreated instead of being smited to the last standing person. Wish I could find more games with an army morale mechanic.

[@zaferc2743]

His name wasn’t stinky. It was Rotta(I think). Ahsoka calls him stinky because he’s well, stinky.

[@druudru5356]

And I'm pretty sure everything Clone Wars is canon

[@dracyan3552]

Druu Dru you are Correct

[@Renanbso]

And he is still very much canon.

[@satansprguy4404]

Druu Dru and sadly Clone Wars still sucks and ruined some of the best parts of the EU

[@Phoenixbrand95]

Satans PR Guy clone wars was fantastic!

[@SeanFarFlung]

I love you guys. You always manage to cheer me up when I'm down by making me laugh my head off. First time commenter but long time viewer. Thanks guys. Really needed a good laugh this morning

[@blackjesus1745]

Star wars the force unleashed: “Did we mention Starkiller kills Darth Vader as well?”

[@Fr0zenEagle]

Now I can't get the image of Jane with a perfect evil goatee out of my head...

[@masterogkush9738]

You are not alone

[@DGneoseeker1]

Already does look fabulous. THAT HAIR.

[@Platonis-The-Warlock]

Hmmm... Darkest timeline, let me think: -EA get the Star Wars license -Scalebound is cancelled -Konami fires Hideo Kojima -Mass Effect Andromeda -Microtransactions Oh my gosh, WE LIVE IN A BLOODY DARKEST TIMELINE.

[@aardbei54]

- American politics at the moment

[@ceceliaacaba2739]

Agreed... EA is the darkest part about our timeline Down with them! 😈

[@joseurbina3835]

Don't forget about the corrupted critics

[@Burbs409]

Ah but you see, this is currently a timeline with a solid chance of Devil May Cry 5 being announced. Therefore, it's actually the brightest timeline.

[@jjtomecek1623]

-Almost every game has a Battle Royale mode

[@dannya.2616]

How about XCOM 2? The entire game is based on humanity losing the war in the 1st game, and being subjugated.

[@derekeastman7771]

But you beat them in the end... Unless you don't

[@spectrum3808]

the bad thing is beating the aliens is that they were the good guys that really just didn't have time to go through bureaucratic bullcrap of hey there are bad aliens coming to destroy everyone. we need to turn one of you into a superweapon to destroy them.

[@ChristophBrinkmann]

​@spectrum3808 Heheheheh right. Good guys. That's why they slaughter millions of innocent people in both games, especially the second one.

[@mudcrab3420]

"He now serves as a bonfire..." Sorry, but I never played that game, so hearing that line for the first time just cracked me up. Also, Cyrus T Laserpunch? :D WOOOOO!!!

[@MushroomFleet]

this video on King Washington, "Totally Realistic" THONKS

[@chili3368]

What about the alternate timeline in the Star Wars Revenge of the Sith video game where Anakin bypasses the high ground and kills Obi-wan and usurps Palpatine?

[@williamlaroux8566]

Lonewolf0711 is this real?

[@thetruthspeaks123]

super mudbug yeah best ps2 game

[@mar_speedman]

What? If I remember correctly the game allows you to play as either Obi-wan or Anakin, because either way the ending will be the canon one from the movie. You don't even get the high ground part in the gameplay. You get it in the cutscene.

[@tristenmagnoni7097]

I believe a bonus level is unlocked after completing the level friendship in flames which unlocks a level called revenge of the sith. I remember it quite well as i was confused about there being two of the same level.

[@mar_speedman]

Wait, that second level was an alternate timeline? I just assumed it was the same level with Anakin instead of Obi-wan, and seeing how tough the previous fight was, couldn't get myself to play it

[@Scouttrooper708]

I would probably have added the Perfect Crime timeline from Heavy Rain to this list. In the end, two of the four main characters are dead, one is falsely accused of being the Origami Killer, and the real killer, not only is free, but is unsatisfied because he still hasn't found what he's looking for. Nobody wins! Especially the player!

[@goonerOZZ]

What about the Zelda timeline where Link woke up in Mars instead of Hyrule?

[@Anthonybrother]

*but that's just a theory ...*

[@thats_so_laven]

"Your lovely probable boyfriend" I think my sorceress kicked Alistair out of her group as soon as she had the chance to and started flirting with Lelania like there was no tomorrow lmao, good times

[@AHMAS_Hotline]

You’re my favorite of the group when it comes to humour, but I think you topped every other joke with that coffee one. Never stop being you, Andy

[@jongofett]

Not sure if this would count, but no Marvel: Ultimate Alliance? If you fail to do a few simple tasks throughout the game, you basically end up letting all the mutants die from a virus because you didn't save the computer the research was on, Atlantis goes to war with humanity, Senator Kelly forces mutants into concentration camps, Mystique kills Professor X and the X-Men disband, Asgard alienates itself from Earth, Odin and Sif die, an asteroid destroys the west coast of the US, two alien races go to war with each other, Thanos takes over Earth, Mephisto causes lots of destruction. Presumably the second game takes place before all of the 'endings' from the first happen (since you're not being attacked by Atlanteans or Mephisto or aliens or Thanos and all the playable mutants are alive and X-Men still together), so as you're going through with your Civil War story, there's still all that doom on the horizon (except Dr. Doom, he's still being tortured by Odin).

[@PHANTOMCOWGIRL]

NOT SIF THE GREAT GREY WOLF- Wait, wrong Sif.

[@williamlaroux8566]

Its heavily implied odin straight up killed doom from some of the optional dialogue

[@logicaloverdrive8197]

MEANWHILE, in the worst possible timeline: VIDEO GAMES ARE NOW ILLEGAL!

[@tuftysquirel6078]

I’m sorry I think you might have missed timeline number 67395 video games are only playable on the bottom of your shoe. Try playing games while walking!

[@estlin2001]

nae-nae’d ebic style

[@Boyzby]

We call that timeline "Australia".

[@sea_triscuit7980]

Avery Graham dude he fact that we have to pay for every little piece of code is bad enough, and the fact that people fall for it and fork over money for a fuckin lollipop pickax

[@jaydonfrediani7483]

In that case then RIOT!

[@terracannon876]

Isn't the entire existence of Nier based on (and playing out) two darkest timelines - one from Drakengard and one for itself?

[@HeroAndReporter]

Yeah, there was an ending to Drakengard that took them to modern day Japan and the world got ruined which led to Nier and Automata. I think it was Ending C or D?

[@daanthedoctor]

Yeah! I think that should've been here, considering it led to the destruction of humanity.

[@christianmccollough5005]

We've found a "commenter edition" candidate.

[@jacksmith3148]

Ironically that's actually a necessary evil. If that never happened we'd never have discovered Magic, had Accord to prevent further Drakengards from happening, never had someone like Emil as the strongest being in the universe, and would have all been wiped out by aliens. I mean, we all died in pretty much the worst way possible, but there's a small chance that we could come back one day, and when we do we'll have some cool ass shit. That's worth more than every current human life.

[@terracannon876]

In the story of Nier (the first one; I haven't played Automata yet), it pretty much cements that there is no chance of humans coming back.

[@lisdraconis2212]

In Dragon Age Darkspawn Cronicels the warden wasn't even recruted. Duncan wasn't simply there. The City Elf would have bee sentenced to death. The Dalish Elf would have died of the taint. The Human Noble would have been slayed by Howes man. The Mage Would also have been sentenced to death. The The Noble Dwarf would have died in the deep roads The commoner dwarf would have died in the cells of hunger. Fun Fact: If you choose one warden the other still have existed but died the way discriped above. By choosing an origin story you basicly choose were Duncan went to search for a recrut. For your warden Duncan was at the right place in the right time.

[@phantom_xrd]

That's interesting, never knew that. The more you know~

[@Kt4nk]

"Hey... guess he was just a conjurer of cheap tricks after all" ...... I admit, I laughed harder than I wanted to.

[@laughingoctopus8556]

UK is going through the darkest possible timeline right now.

[@Hopalongtom]

With the NHS being privatized!

[@Randyhoar]

Jabba the Hutt's son, Stinky, is still actually canon. So no Revan, or Republic Commandos, but we still have Stinky... yay?

[@joenesvick7043]

Stinky isn’t really the Hutt’s name, just a nickname Ahsoka gives out

[@Randyhoar]

Yeah, I know, it's Rotta the Hutt. Just I I would rather have Revan in the new canon, than Stinky Rotta

[@Darkprosper]

Stinky is fine though, and there have been hints at making Revan canon (most notably in the cancelled Clone Wars seasons) so let's not give up hope.

[@rowanchurch702]

Revan is technically still canon, because of where it happened in the timeline. There is no conflicting timeline for that era, and so it can be considered canon until otherwise stated.

[@Phoenixbrand95]

Rowan Church it was stated otherwise

[@ZombieOfTheWest]

Well, there's always Undertale's Genocide route, where you wipe out all monster life, then get possessed by an evil ghost and head out with the goal to wipe out all life on Earth.

[@zavexcapricious2519]

I know!!!I went to this video because I expected that to be on here, and I am VERY disappointed that it is not

[@laurendyer2838]

Crud I already typed a comment asking for Undertale. Oh well, I guess that means it should definitely be on here if there are multiple requests.

[@RanMouri82]

It is quite literally the darkest timeline because it is the path to destroy everything. Sans warns us that it is not worth it. Too few of us listen.

[@Legendary_Detective-Wobbuffet]

For me that's just a Tuesday.

[@coultersheppard6215]

Or the true pacifist run, where flower happens.

[@amandamalmquist4485]

I love how Elrond refers to hobbits as halflings, yet the orcs use their actual name.

[@amandamalmquist4485]

Also, Jake Muller rules.

[@dogishappy0]

After seeing Lord of the Rings Conquest I have but one question, why was there never a LotR Dynasty Warriors spin off? This is something i never knew i wanted!

[@animatrix1490]

That is actually a genius idea.

[@serPomiz]

Musou are tipically a japanese style of game. so we have DW, the gundam one, the Kamen Rider ones, the teenager-ninja-progressivelly-less-dressed one (that ironically, have some nice gameplay concept), the Asterix one and the legend of zelda one. not so much other franchise who could REALLY get a lot of mileage

[@johnmacdonald812]

What about XCOM: Enemy unknown? Canonically, it ends with humanity getting enslaved and depending on how well you do in XCOM 2, liquified into alien milkshake.

[@PHANTOMCOWGIRL]

Hmm.... Strawberry?

[@Burningnewt]

LotR conquest 2 isn't the game we asked for, but IT IS THE GAME WE NEED

[@wolverinephillips6530]

burning newt With the graphics of EAs battlefront 2 would be great.

[@luigivercotti6410]

Wolverine Phillips With the microtransactions of EAs battlefront 2 it will be horrid

[@lefi7306]

Patches: „ all is well, that ends well.“ ( from Dark Souls)

[@weregretohio7728]

Greed and power? That's just America. Guess we're in the dark timeline.

[@RanMouri82]

Greed and power is human frailty. If anything, America did well by giving citizens the freedom to do business.

[@charcole400]

RanMouri82 yep

[@charcole400]

No

[@lordinquisitor6233]

Lord of the rings conquest: burning down the shire was my favorite, let’s be honest being evil is far more fun

[@dsandoval9396]

I never played that game... BUT NOW I WANT TO! It looks so fucking fun! That part where he kills Gandolf I almost want to say out loud, "I said 'no' and I mean 'no'!"

[@3mpt7]

Well, yeah, that's kind of the point of evil. It IS more fun. In the short term. As long as you can stay ahead of the consequences. Like, you've just burned down the Shire. Land of pipeweed, good food, and great parties. Idiot.

[@lordinquisitor6233]

G. Hammond hey orcs can also party, hobbit rotisserie anyone.

[@3mpt7]

From what I've seen, and read of Tolkien's Middle Earth, orcs tend to eat hairy hobbit-sized meats raw. For a good rotisserie, you need patience, and most orcs just don't have it. I can picture the Uruk-hai with a tenderly roasted halfling, though. But then again, the Uruk-hai in the lore Tolkien wrote seemed less likely to party.

[@dsandoval9396]

Lord Inquisitor Exactly. All that good food those Hobbitses ate have made them tender and juicy. The filets minion of Middle Earth. I really wish there was a sandbox version of that game. So like you could kill Frodo, ORRrrrr... You could throw him in a dungeon and torture him (at your leisure), and I mean TORTURE him. Like Manhunt type hands-on treatment. Uncensored, not the neutered version. I'm still planning to play this game.

[@McDDcM]

You managed to discuss Washington and the American revolution without making a Hamilton reference. Good job.

[@CrazyWizza]

Sorry Mike, world domination is Jane's game🌏

[@lyrefan6035]

What about in LOZ, where there's an actual separate timeline where the hero of time just dies, and ganon gets the entire triforce

[@Servatia]

Speaking of Dragon Age, there's always Inquisition where Alexius kicks you into that future where everyone's dead or maimed.

[@terracannon876]

Oh! And the entire existence of Shadow Hearts 2! It's based off the bad end of Shadow Hearts, making that one canonical :D

[@fluffbunny7289]

Do the Dishonored games count with the High Chaos? It is pretty dark.

[@RhysLloyd2611]

Darkest possible timeline is Ellen becoming a spider goddess and killing all her friends

[@SoulSurge]

I liked Andy’s way of making coffee reminds me of my 1st year in college

[@finn13b74]

"He now serves as a bonfire" im dead XDXD

[@zulubunsen9067]

Legacy of Kain series: pretty much all of the games constitute as the "Darkest Timeline", as the canonical ending of Blood Omen sees Kain instead of sacrificing himself to restore balance (allegedly) goes on to conquer the world and pretty much hunt humans into extinction.

[@AlphaOrion98]

Stinky isn’t actually the name of Jabba’ son. That was simply a nickname given by ahsoka tano in the clone wars movie. His real name is - I’m not helping my case am I?

[@jacenskywalker507]

Rotta, his name is Rotta.

[@madcinder257]

But Stinky is still canon...

[@erinmiller1433]

Mad Cinder Disney officially declared that the expanded universe is no longer canon.

[@XeoKnight]

@@erinmiller1433 Stinky was from the Clone Wars animated series, which is still canon

[@thirdwheel7122]

Unfortunately...

[@kingbrit4583]

Sauron: *conquers middle earth.* The valar : "ah shit, here we go again."

[@toakovika]

No love for Spider-Man: Web of Shadows' "I'm going to kill Venom, become King of the Symbiote's and NYC, and have a Symbiote-suited Black Cat for a queen?" No? Pretty worthwhile dark timeline to me.

[@cottoncandy5113]

Far Cry 5. Taking his advice and just leaving seems like a good idea now.

[@charcole400]

Cotton Candy bombs would have dropped either way

[@faupel]

Jane chose the darkest timeline in Dragon age: origins as payback for Alistair breaking up with her

[@respectableaf9061]

Jane chose the darkest timeline because she is Jane

[@reyniknamyrion3557]

Jane chose the darkest timeline because she is evil. EVIL I TELL YOU!

[@alireyes4219]

Omg, I love Jane's voice. I could hear her talk for ever and never get bored.

[@VertigoCross777]

My favorite thing about the darkspawn chronicles, was that it showed Alistair good do what the grey warden did. Uniting ferelden to fight the darkspawn, he just couldn't quite stop it solo.

[@phantom_xrd]

He lost the plot armor sadly

[@JuMiKu]

He showed pretty clearly that he is a hypocritical monster, killing a whole village of innocent elves, so he'd gain the power of some werewolves. Good thing I never romanced him apart from unlocking the achievement and then breaking his tiny heart.

[@mw2masters11]

What about that horrible timeline where Jane became too powerful? It still haunts me...

[@ceceliaacaba2739]

oompaloops edlin Like Darth Vader or Darth Jane apprentice to Ellen... The Death Star IS a giant Space laser!

[@khamankhoma8232]

I'm sensing you guys are still a little salty over that whole war of independence thing. But that would be ridiculous, right?.... Right?.......

[@randomnerd9088]

Nato Stellare. It wasn't to dodge taxation. Seeing as how one of the big "mottos" of the American Reveloution was "No taxation without representation". America simply did what most other British colonies wanted terribly to do, but couldn't.

[@MrYetAnotherAccount]

That wasn't "motto" of American Revolution, that was an unwritten law of the British Empire.

[@lordwisehammer]

The military action against the colonist was deeply unpopular with citizens at home as well leading to a the Whigs (the political party that wanted to end the war) gaining a majority in parliament after Cornwallis's surrender at Yorktown so the American War of Independence is more like Britain's version of Vietnam.

[@theguy3238]

Say what you want but at least we didn't start a war with some rice farmers and get the shit kicked out of us, that would be embarrassing.

[@infinitetroll03]

Nato Stellare LMAO what a way to paint that

[@DanStaal]

No mention of XCom 2? First thing you find out is that any time you actually won XCom, you were really inside a VR simulator, running combat protocols for the aliens.

[@TheZipperDragon]

I liked Operation Raccoon City, especially the final boss, where, if you're playing co-op, you fight your co-op buddies. It's like A Way Out.

[@Herowebcomics]

8:20 Han getting stabbed by a light saber is still painful! And Last Jedi doesn't help when it happened like this!

[@RedKrossSquad]

Stinky is still canon. The Clone Wars anime survived the Disney purge.

[@chadkingoffuckmountain970]

RedKrossSquad The clone wars isn't an anime.

[@RedKrossSquad]

It's animated and not hand drawned. It's just rather fussy to call it a cartoon because it's western.

[@edwardmustang69]

Well not the planned later season but earlier yeah

[@nicapp984]

It's 3D animated. I wouldn't call anything 3D an anime OR cartoon. It's just an animated series. The definition of anime is "a style of JAPANESE film and television animation, typically aimed at adults as well as children." So yeah, it's not an anime. I might give it a pass if it was purposefully trying to mimic the tropes and aesthetic from anime, but it most certainly is not from my understanding. And as for "it's not hand drawned", If you google search whether any anime are hand DRAWN, you get the following: Are Anime hand drawn? 3D is something totally different than anime & cartoon's drawn-out look. When they do work hand in hand, like in Ghilbi films, that's good. Japan's method of animating is quite outdated. They are one of the only still using cels.

[@mar_speedman]

Anime is a Japanese word which, yes, is short for animation, but is usually intended to mean Japanese cartoons. If you don't wanna call TCW a cartoon, then you can call it an animated show or a TV show, even though technically it IS a CGI cartoon. Technically, Cartoon doesn't mean a hand drawn kids show from America. In the old days it meant any comedic stylized drawings from Newspapers or magazines, like Garfield, which you might think is a live action film series, or a series of cartoon shows or yada yada when in fact, it's a comic stripe. These days, 'cartoons' is a reference to 'animation' which extend to any show that is not live action, like traditional drawing, computer generated imagery (Which includes digital drawing and 3 Dimensional graphics) and even stop motion graphics, which employ the use of clay figurines. The keyword here is animation. Anything that requires someone to pose and position characters and objects for possibly every frame, is an animation. And yes, while motion capture isn't actually animation in itself, animators usually use the actors' performances as the base for their work, not as the actual animation for their characters. Meaning they edit it to make it more or less realistic or stylized, fix bugs, and all that. So in short, it would be way less a crime to call it a cartoon than it is to call it an animation, but the accurate term is neither. It's Animation TV show.

[@OCAdam]

When it comes to dark endings, the Conquest ending from Hyperdimension Neptunia Mk2 (and the remake Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;birth 2 Sisters Generation) takes the top spot in my mind. From a series that normally is pretty upbeat about facing some dire situations, this was an ending that just doesn't hold back on gut-punching the player constantly.

[@Killcam555]

A bit off topic, but seeing AC3 did remind me... I always kind of wished Connor and his dad had resolved their differences and become proper partners, presumably with said father becoming an assassin. I don't know why, but I just liked their dynamic in a way.

[@yangxiaobelladonna2401]

What about when Jane took over the universe and made huge statue of herself becoming the cold hearted sweetheart that ruled the universe for 10,000 years :3 she basically killed off every hero and villain in this timeline making AKU look bad not that i would know or anything

[@yangxiaobelladonna2401]

Ending worth having after all Hail Jane The Mighty Overlord

[@DeusExMachina130]

How is that ending bad?

[@emmabyrne9274]

The thing to be learn from this list is that like other types of content creators- game developers want us to suffer.

[@pbonfanti]

In disco elysium, you start the game in a messy room, dressed in undies only, very drunk, or worse, necktie is hanging from the ceiling fan, you can try to jump to get the tie, and have a heart attack doing, game over. There are endings where you don't die, just lose the rest of your sanity.

[@bcfb21]

What about that timeline where Jane succeeds at building her space laser?

[@dragon-kitty]

bcfb21 - oh you sweet naive lamb

[@devinbirse6431]

As a kid who was raised on fantasy I loved rise of sauron there's just something so compelling about a bunch of nazgul ganging up on frodo on top of mount doom and beating him to death

[@caleonard35]

I love your videos! I laugh all the way through them. Great job!

[@laurasaurus7399]

What about that awful alternate timeline in red dead redemption where john Marston gets shot to bits and you have to play as his son? What do you mean that's the only timeline???!!!

[@patrickmccurry1563]

Dissing the prequels and no camera shaking or heavy sighing? Oh no, what happened to James?

[@ceceliaacaba2739]

Patrick McCurry James! Did Jane take you as a test subject?

[@bigdaddyscrumbobulous7759]

I can't be the only one that was thinking of hyourinjutsu

[@patchwilliamson]

I remember playing that terminator game and it had one of the darkest and sad set pieces ive seen in a video game. It was two skeletons embracing each other on a bench. It sounds trivial, i know. As gamers we've seen countless skeletons in games, in countless ways; but something about it, maybe the atmosphere, i remember it was quiet. The heavy kind of quiet. (Keep in mind i was a child, so i was likely more susceptible to immersion) but it always stuck with me. I dont remember much from my childhood, but i remember that. And i remember dying a lot cause that game was actually prettt difficult. Also, i could be remembering incorrectly and this might not even be the right game. Its possible it could be Half-Life 2.

[@GKelly26]

“Boot a bunch of hobbits faces off” I laughed so hard at this line. Love it

[@luketsimmons1982]

I thought Oxtra _were_ the dark timeline for Oxbox? There's no dark timeline version of Jane because... She. Already. Exists. In. This. Timeline... 😬

[@CaporegimeMarcus]

Wow! So the Force Unleashed 1&2 spoiled SW The Force Awakens and the Last Jedi!?!

[@Toni_560]

Clariño D. Marc since they also used Starkiller as their name for their oh-so-innovative Death Star, I'd like to remind people how shitty the Disney movies are (and yes, we all are aware how Luke was supposed to be called Starkiller in the original version)

[@LordBloodraven]

Let's be honest: Who started imagining Ellen and Jane with a goatee after that intro?

[@MaXaNoMaLoUs]

I stumbled onto these videos and just realized why I love them. I’m a 36 years old, father of 2 and have no time to play all these games and see what happens, this is awesome!! You’re getting a like from me haha lol.

[@tbrian838]

“Eating breakfast items separately and from a plate.” Oof. Shots fired.