8 Reasons You've Never Dated Anyone Before

So… have you ever dated anyone? Many may ask you: why haven’t you dated so you can find your compatible match? Well, you have your reasons. Here are a few common ones.
We also made a video on the behaviors that keeps you single: • 10 Behaviors That Keep...
Writer: Michal Mitchell
Script Editor & Manager: Kelly Soong
VO: Amanda Silvera
Animator: sarimopi ( / sarimopi )
KZbin Manager: Cindy Cheong

[@Psych2go]

What are your thoughts on never having a boyfriend (or girlfriend) in your 20s?

[@Bloody_Vin]

I don't think it's that bad! Everyone's Different; Some people don't even wait to date! < 3

[@cloudy2838]

I think that is not that bad because i need to find a good match

[@oldschooldatingtechniques4306]

I think that's totally fine, there's too much pressure on young people to "fit in", and I think that as long as they are happy and still exploring themselves, it's okay.

[@striker6353]

And no I would rather date in my 20 but unfortunately, I think there is this new girl that I like in my high school. And now I'm nervous when I'm around her, and now I need help and advice.

[@Austin_Dale]

@@striker6353 What seems to work well with me is to just try to be as relaxed as possible about it. Maybe come up with a plan to where you could say something to her without it seeming like your deliberately going after her.

[@datboi6954]

1. you know what you want 0:34 2. you don't know how to flirt 1:13 3. you've experienced trauma 1:53 4. you're guarding your heart 2:16 5. you're a late bloomer 2:58 6. you've been too busy 3:35 7. you don't get out much 3:56 8. you're focused on yourself 4:29 I hope I could help!

[@thankshd4483]

nice, this guy is always ahead in life

[@Amirisphere]

All of these relate.

[@Mentally_Unstable_Autistic]

Didn’t this video come out today-

[@rozzin6377]

That does help thank you!

[@shayla9938]

1 month ago!?!

[@OnlineLifeGuide]

Let's normalize being single and being a virgin. I've personally known so many people who desperately want to get into a relationship just because they feel left out. In doing so, they make bad decisions and go through heart breaks after heart breaks which ultimately causes them to be bitter and anxious of relationships, and then even when they meet someone who might be the one for them, they are so bruised and numb by that point that they miss out on cherishing that person. We often let our self worth and self esteem depend too heavily on our relationship status. Lets, Instead, focus more on living a healthy and active life, on going out a bit more, on participating in different things, and sooner or later we'll meet someone who just naturally clicks with us!

[@farah_nm162]

In my country, I'd say, let's normalise couples and not being a virgin before marriage. Straight up, they would not marry if the girl is not a virgin, but it's completely fine for the guy not being a virgin. I mean WTF! And TBH, people are super nosy and would not hesitate to spark a dating rumour in the neighbourhood, and it's all about bank balance, religion, caste...God knows what all regressive points. I look at things like these and I question myself, "why the hell is the country developing, but not the mentality of people?"

[@silverwick818]

I absolutely agree!

[@reeses_unicorn]

That's excellent advice!

[@nyareli1]

me who never gets to go out because of the shitty pandemic

[@LadyOMyth]

You speak true words of wisdom.

[@Madzzy]

Honestly I’ve dated people before, but this was still extremely helpful because I do struggle a lot with a lot of the points said in this video. Thank you for always being helpful and as informative as you can be

[@hostileenvironment6107]

Agreed same, I think I just have problems because of ADHD and recently finding out I may have borderline personality disorder. ://

[@Jackgritty28]

Is it daunting,are you compatible,reasons could be excuses,nobody's perfect,if you feel judged,if your sensitive,you don't need the trauma,shouldn't be rushed,if your not ready,you don't need the stress,selfish behaviour means you stay single💥💲❌

[@zacktyler2810]

@@Jackgritty28 Yes, I am glad you agree, bro. I thought I was one of the only men who struggled with this. Eventually, you, me, and everyone in this comment chain will soon find the one who will love us for us.

[@teodortodorov1662]

Same! I was part of big group of friends, but only few of them liked me! Most of them hated me for being myself. They always called me: "Idiot, autist, fool and ect." and also they had a lots of fun on me and girls ignored me like I`m nobody , so I left them and became antisocial.

[@tomaseduardo6633]

Same

[@unknownperson69]

I'm 24 I've never dated before and I'm still a virgin (never even kissed anyone), and I'm actually down for dating but no one has ever been interested in dating me, I've had people offered me casual hookups but no one has ever asked me to be their girlfriend and I often wonder how people get into romantic relationships, does it happen naturally or do I have to follow some steps or something like that?

[@monaxia2524]

well, it depends on knowing what you want, and finding someone who wants the same things you want. But another important thing is, being the person that you want to attract

[@isegard2957]

I'm in same case as you except I'm 32 female and never date anyone in my life. I just never know how to and didn't care enough but for some reason end up finding someone I like on a mmo I play online and tell him how i feel and he said he also interest in me. We end up start dating and it's a long distance relationship but we 're determined to make this work out. He is coming over to meet me in real life from another country next soon for the first time ever. i can't wait for that to happy. My advice is live your life but don't forget to meet more ppl irl or online which share the same interests as you in different communities and you will eventually find someone that match your type. Just don't loose hope

[@yeqru]

@@isegard2957 That's great ! Hope this meeting will be wonderful

[@isegard2957]

@@yeqru Thank you so much. I'm so excite and can hardly wait for his arrival just wish summer come sooner

[@antifagoat6591]

It depends on the other person. Some people set "rules" which are really boundaries and others don't. I would be careful of a person who doesn't respect YOUR boundaries.

[@cryingscreaming]

*"you don't know how to flirt"* my social anxiety: ah yes.

[@oliviagonzalez1869]

I’m currently 19 year old and ive never experienced any dating or physical touch with anyone. Throughout my high school years, I always thought I would at least have someone I was able to love or have experience within a relationship. Now that I’m in college I start to lose hope thinking having a relationship isn’t an option for me. I am 19 and I still haven’t had my first kiss yet let alone held hands with anyone. These experiences I feel like I am missing out on, I’ll because I self sabotage myself and no matter how hard I tell myself I want to work on my own mental health it’s just an excuse to ignore the fact that I’m not ready for a relationship. I was taught that in order for someone to love you you have to love yourself first but as of right now I have never achieve that. It would be nice to have someone help me love myself but I am too prideful to admit that to my therapist or my family or friends. This video helped me realize that it is normal to be a late bloomer and there is nothing wrong with that, I just hope one day I will find the motivation to be a better version of myself and finally find someone who is right for me.

[@silverwick818]

I had my first kiss at 22, and have never had a boyfriend. It's ok to be a late bloomer. Just enjoy life as a single person for now. You'll get there!

[@alexandred.4248]

I'm almost 21 and I can still relate to all that. Just take it as it comes: if you haven't found someone suitable that wants to date you too, well you can't invent someone. In the meantime, remember to reach out to friends, or even make new friends! Also, you could try taking yourself out on a date, it's going to give you some practice and let you know better what you enjoy doing.

[@smokeymcbongwater]

And I thought 13 was too late

[@enyazogd5325]

@@smokeymcbongwater It's not at all, you have no reason to worry lol

[@smokeymcbongwater]

@@enyazogd5325 oh ok

[@ToniWellons]

I’m in my 30s and hopelessly single. I’ve never been a relationship or been in love before and I feel so far behind. This list is too painfully accurate. I’m going into another year alone and wondering if love will ever come my way. I hope it does.

[@tiffanymcdaniels5652]

I thought I was the only one like this. I’ve never been in love or anything like that. I hope you find your special someone soon.

[@alexandrialeonora6542]

Same here! 31 (going on 32), never had a boyfriend in my lifetime, and still single! At the moment I've been working on myself because it was something that was blocked but needed to happen for a long time now. But nonetheless, it does feel lonely when everyone around you seems to be married and having kids. Thank you for sharing your story and letting us know we are not alone! Hugs to you!

[@ToniWellons]

@@tiffanymcdaniels5652 hope so

[@ToniWellons]

@@alexandrialeonora6542 yes definitely. I’m turning 33 next week and it’s another reminder I’m still alone and I’ve always felt this way. It gets deeply painful for me and I’m embarrassed to talk about it so I don’t

[@sj786202]

I’m in my 30s and I’ve never been part of a couple or held hands or kissed anybody, but I’m a happy single person and I’ve accepted the fact that I will probably never experience those things and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

[@SamCal]

As an 18 year old who's never dated anyone before, most of these ARE the reasons I haven't dated (except the traumas ones bc I don't have any of those) but it's not like it's something I don't want to do, but dating would be really difficult for me as how circumstances are for me. Socializing outside of my house is not impossible but it is very difficult as I just switched countries a few months ago and I barely know people here so I don't have anyone to trust intimately. Secondly, teenage romance has always been something rushed for me, and doing it for the sake of the experience or testing dating from one person to another seems like a hurtful idea to me and those other people. If I want to date, I'd like to value that relationship very much, and the fewer partners I have, the better. I'm currently focusing not only on myself but on many hobbies I want to do, my physical health, highschool, my current legal state, and many other factors that I basically depend on to keep the way I'm living right now. This means I don't actually know when to start, or if starting right now is even a good idea either. Also that reason of having not found the people whose values and principles I uphold is very true. Most people at my reach are all people I wouldn't date due to my character and conviction, and I'd like to meet more people like me. I know they have to exist, but I haven't found them anywhere, nor I know where to start looking for them. While online friendships are something I value a lot, nothing compares to a friendship I can commit to in person

[@AB-xz5td]

Yeah that's true first of all i had few crush but not feelings for them bcoz neither of them has the personality or values that i seek for and most of us nowadays tend to date or get in relationships based on the physical attraction but i personally think it doesn't make the relationships strong enough and thus they often tend to brkup midway and for me i want a relationship that i would cherish for my lifetime i want someone with whom i would grow old not for some experience i understand everyone has a different point of view in it but being a sensitive person getting attached to someone and then breaking up bcoz none of us took it seriously gonna make me terrible so i am eagerly waiting for that someone to come in my life

[@paavanarao5906]

I totally agree with you 💯 I am kinda in the same situation, so for now I am focused on myself 😅

[@paavanarao5906]

@@AB-xz5td ya I believe that relationship or dating is just not only about physical attraction ,it's about two people being honest and vulnerable with each other , and nowadays it is kinda hard to find someone who are trust worthy ,and I think that what belongs to you would come for you so it's just about the patience which life teaches us 🌻

[@SamCal]

@@AB-xz5td You couldn't have phrased it better. And this happens more often that I'd wish to. Teens just date based on looks and hidden intentions instead of genuine love, and that's what makes relationships looks so weak nowadays. It is never healthy and I wish my fellow teen friends would understand. Crushing on someone is completely normal, but with love, which is way stronger and more valuable, comes sacrifices, intimacy, commitment, loyalty and whatever other virtues are needed for a relationship.

[@ayushi6247]

I personally couldn't agree more with people in this comment section. When people ask me why I haven't dated anyone before even though I'm about to be 18 I just tell them I haven't felt like it. Dating just for timepass?? Honestly it's not my kinda thing, if I wanted to pass my time I have way more better options than dating. I am trying now to put myself out there and trying to date but it just doesn't feel right to me so I'm not pressuring myself much, coz I don't wanna rush anything and about marriage thing it would be way early to think about it. From my experience I can tell that I certainly have expectations, and the people with whom I was trying were just not my type so I dropped it there without being official with anyone.

[@jane_xd3977]

The fact that I'm single hurts :')

[@mttanner26]

Right there with you

[@gsklol]

@@mttanner26 lmao

[@spider-guy_yt220]

Yes, yes it does

[@t-r-y7986]

Wanna change that?

[@johnmurcott1273]

The fact I'm lonely hurts. Not that I'm single so much

[@leshawn.d.1805]

Dating past 25 is ENTIRELY different from your late teens leading up to 25. You're not building a life together; your lives are already built so the best you can hope for is that you can find some time where your schedules match up to be together. Your debts are YOURS, not shared. You also realize it's not your responsibility to make someone else's dreams come true so you're not going to slave away your life only to have none left to enjoy yourself.

[@ferdithetank7535]

Very interesting observations, totally relatable.

[@Zithorius]

Cynical af but... Definitely a pattern I can recognize. Even teens to 25, you can kinda say that.

[@leshawn.d.1805]

​@@Zithorius I won't deny it's cynical. But so many of the key components to a close, interpersonal relationship are missing. how many 'first experiences' are you having together beyond 25? Those experiences are what partially sets you and the other person you're with from everyone else. Now it's just, been there, done that. And it isn't even that all of those shared experiences will be great. Hardships suffered together can build stronger bonds as well. But now, you just have people bringing their personal baggage into the relationship often expecting the other person to help them take care of it. And you discover that the way that works for you to live might not be what the other person wants and they expect you to change to suit their expectations. An experience I had not too long ago involved a woman that was asking if I can see myself in a home with a "white picket fence". Cliche, sure, but I get what she was asking. I said probably not because none of that whole image fits me. She said I'd probably change my mind when I got serious with a woman implying that because it's what she wanted, I'd decide to just go along with it. No. She basically thinks a guy's role is to facilitate her dreams. Frankly, nice girl but she has a whole host of issues that, if I took on in a traditional sense, would mean my entire life would be lived simply to make hers easier and happier. We could be friends but nothing beyond that.

[@SiliconAlex]

As someone on the verge of being 27, never having dated anyone and a virgin. I've always liked the idea of being in a relationship, but never enough to act upon it. It sounds really nice in theory, but I know the damage a relationship can have when it goes wrong. At best they end on amicable terms, in most they end with disdain and hatred for each other, and at worst, they end with a 911 call. I've seen the cycle of this person is "the one" to unending complaints and wishing for their death, far too much. To be fair, a few of those people have found relationships they are happy in, some are married, and one of them is about to have their first kid. I can't see a way to voluntarily put myself through so much responsibility, turmoil, and sacrificing freedoms and independence for something that on the slimmest chance will add value to my life. I'd like to know what the deal is with love, but then I'd also like to see the Earth from orbit. Both are, at this point, nothing more than wishful fantasies. That without divine intervention will probably never happen. A thought I am mostly at peace with, except for the small part that yearns for the Hollywood romantic fairytale. Something I do not know how to excise.

[@alexandred.4248]

Those are very valid points, but who knows, someone might still convince you otherwise one day..

[@MrOoh50]

Can relate, same position, all are good points, but honestly if u think someone can be good to keep in your life, u should try and take a risk, at least a bit. Ofc dating with strangers isn't ideal for everyone, but if you try to put yourself for a moment in someone's prospective, who dating etc, you will find out the everyone dating just to find and choose among others, based on their beliefs needs and qualities. Yeah someone is luck to find it earlier than others. IMHO u shouldn't be so hard with yourself, stay with someone doesn't mean that u should give up your own old life, instead it should bring more happiness and serenity. I hope you find someone, and after I think you quickly change your thought about it

[@Brisbae]

It sounds like you’re thinking with your head too much. I don’t think repressing your emotions is a healthy long term strategy. That ‘little yearning voice’ will probably grow.

[@MrOoh50]

@@Brisbae i will also add, that "stay" to much in our own head, can be harmful than useful, sometimes we fall in stupid and dangerous loopholes, something like "i'm not good enough", nobody is interested in me or i'm boring" make easy to put yourself in an dangerous position, you basically put yourself in a hell!!! I experience myself it in the past and go out was never easy, you run from yourself. what a pain...

[@SiliconAlex]

@@Brisbae I don't doubt anything you've said. I'm entirely aware my whole concept of relationships is completely discounting the emotional component. That love and it's associated emotions will distort perception and thoughts. Given what I've seen of people who previously held beliefs like mine, when they finally fall for someone, they fall hard. What I know is that trying to fight that yearning feeling only intensifies it. Fighting a biological imperative is pointless. So I leave it alone, and keep the door open to relationships. But do nothing to encourage there formation. I feel like I've got a good thing going here, to throw it away doesn't make sense to me.

[@charliem177]

I have been single my whole life. At this point in time, I am in my 30's. I find it difficult to relate to others because I suppress my emotions. I come off as cold and distant. It's not because I don't feel emotions, I just have issues with showing any.

[@schierke1745]

This is relatable :((

[@toweypat]

That is a difficult hurdle, alright. Is that how your parents wanted you to be?

[@Fluffy_Vizier]

I just turned 36, and am the same. Not that saying this helps, I have no idea how to fix.

[@adriannamichalski3359]

Dude that’s deadass my problem. Like a friend will try and give me hug for example and my brain says “happy happy happy” but then I shove them away like bruh wtf XD

[@MrBluntNose]

Talk about it with loved ones

[@crow2096]

i just personally don’t feel a lot of fulfillment in dating, though i haven’t *officially* dated someone before. Not sure if it’s aromanticism or trauma or just being a late bloomer but i enjoy being with friends more than the stresses that come with the romance and labels

[@allizwell5646]

Right! I feel the same way! I finally found someone who thinks about romance the same way I do 🥺✋🏽

[@gokukamboj2941]

Indeed it's like your taking responsibility and you have no idea what to do... For me I just don't want to date cause i know I can't

[@imconfused4803]

Understandable.

[@allizwell5646]

@@gokukamboj2941 I feel you. It's just seems really stressful to me and I don't like being stressed and I have too many problems of my own to deal with that I don't have the time to date and really just don't want to. I don't know if anyone else thinks this, but I also don't wanna date because one it cost too much 😂 people sometimes always expect gifts because y'all are dating and it's slightly time consuming. Dating is just not my cup of tea.

[@maesithebutterfly841]

bingoooo

[@selfish.machines]

i enjoy the IDEA of dating someone but i just know the moment i’d get into a relationship i would start overthinking everything because of how insecure i am

[@mediconotes5599]

I'm 22 and I've never dated anyone ...what hurts me is how my friends always talk about their realtionship issues and this topic pops up...

[@KaylaPearlCPNinja]

One of the biggest reasons why I have never dated or have been in a relationship is that having a physical disability alongside conditions such as ADHD, anxiety, and persistent depressive disorder has made approaching people very tough and awkward for me. Also it doesn’t help that I am also asexual and on the aromantic spectrum (specifically demiromantic). I’m also introverted and I have struggled with my social skills ever since I was a kid.

[@jordothe1st835]

I have ADHD, there's nothing really wrong with people who have something that makes them who they are and if people don't like who you are then don't care about that person or don't do anything for them

[@Simplifried]

HELLO FELLOW ACE AND DEMIRO ON THE INTERNET

[@KaylaPearlCPNinja]

@@Simplifried awesome!

[@owo3051]

Thank youuuu! Sometimes i feel like my ADHD will be a burden and will ultimately show itself and turn someone off. Ik its bad to think this but i cant help it. Ik i can be a piece of work and it makes it hard to fins someone who will accpet that ans work with me

[@DEEZNUTS-yo1dx]

@@KaylaPearlCPNinja You sound just like my mother, the only diffrence is that she is demisexual and has over come her anxiety and depression. She and my dad have been married for 12 years now but they are still in their honey-moon phrase and i think they will be in that phrase for many more years, makes me cringe sometimes but still happy for them

[@Cat-123c]

This is really relatable to me. I grew up in a very angry household and witnessed a lot of fighting so I am scared that any relationship I’m in will end up like that. I also learned to deal with emotions on my own and don’t feel comfortable sharing them with a partner. Hopefully I’ll overcome this tho.

[@apou01]

You are brave I don't know your age, It took me 32 years to understand that

[@Artemis-A24]

I know your comment was from a while ago, but it's good that you're recognizing that in yourself. Regardless of if you've found someone or not, hope you're doing better

[@Cat-123c]

@@apou01 I am so sorry, I just saw this. Now I’m 19. I still have a long ways to go regarding emotional maturity, but therapy is really helping. I’m sorry that it took you so long, but I’m very glad that you’ve reached that better spot❤️

[@Cat-123c]

@@Artemis-A24 hi! Apologies for the late reply. Thank you for your lovely words of encouragement. I really am. I’m going to therapy and trying to open up more. I hope you are well too!!😊

[@pick_nark]

I'm 26, never dated and I absolutely hate it. It makes me feel so far behind in life. I know that's not healthy but I can't help but feel that way. Especially when I see friends from high school who are married now and have kids. Kids. They have kids and I haven't kissed a girl since I was 16. I hate it. From a young age I always normalized success as having a girlfriend. I have no idea how that notion developed but it did. Growing up though, something happed to my self esteem and I never really had a good sense of self worth. I was never able to successfully ask out girls in high school and that carried into college. Now it's almost 2022 and my social skills are still garbage. I'm just so tired of being alone. I'm working on my self love but it's tough. Maybe one day I can love myself. And hopefully love someone else too.

[@JokerCrowe]

"What are your thoughts on not having dated in your 20s?" I'll do you one better, I haven't dated and I'm turning *32* in 2022. I think there's truth to this list, at least for me, the first point is very true. I've had great friendships that I use as a template of what I'd like my romantic relationships to be like. Unfortunately I have a hard time connecting with people on a deep level, but my standards aren't that high beyond that. I only have like 8 or so people that I've really connected with over my life, and unfortunately they've been romantically unavailable for various reasons. Another reason is that I had terrible self esteem through my 20s, and I decided to focus on feeling better about myself instead of dating, so I guess that part of the list is true too. It took a while but I'm better now, so I'm just really taking my time, and I'm not really in a Rush. Though I do feel envious of People in really good relationships every now and then. Edited because I can't spell "unfortunately" apparently.

[@animefanatic33]

I 100% felt this. right there with you

[@alopexlagopus484]

Same age, nearly same situation. I spent my 20s fighting depression and struggling finding a way to survive in life, because I couldn't imagine on a job fitting for me. Took me 10 years to solve this. I envy you, that you don't feel a rush for dating. For myself, I feel like my time is running out and the chances, to find a new friend or a partner seem to be so low, because the opportunities are shrinking. It's not like in school or college, where you constantly meet new people. It feels, like the friends and relationships of other people in my age are already settled and there is no place for someone new ...

[@alexandrialeonora6542]

Same age and same situation, as well. Thank you for sharing your story.

[@ToniWellons]

I’m in the same boat and I’m turning 33

[@alopexlagopus484]

@@pirupami9746 Never, but it looks interesting

[@bottomtext3990]

Im glad that being single since day 1 is a lot more common than most think. I think the media needs to represent people like us as more than comedic relief, and i feel like people need to stop telling us that we're missing out or that we're unattractive because it leads some single people to believe that they cant live a happy life on their own and leads to insecurities that actually prevent us from finding love or opening ourselves up

[@GibranEscobell]

To the person reading this , you are amazing and loved regardless if you are with someone or not. You are already worthy and complete, you are valuable person no matter your situation.

[@scootathan]

Haha noooo it's not true

[@schmdtta8106]

no

[@averagew4197]

don't misguide us

[@ruofanyu6699]

Giving platitudes is one of the biggest signs of disrespect

[@iflase5823]

God will make you complete!

[@introvert_8372]

I use to feel devalued as human having never been in a relationship. I then realize the world is much bigger than the one I see myself in, and understand I’m not the only one stuck in this predicament. I do hope that in the new year coming up, most if not all of us here can get to enjoy a slice of love and everything that comes with it. Sending everyone good vibes

[@dquino01]

You are missing a bit reason, you're always getting rejected. I started asking girls out in highschool (14) and didn't get my 1st date till I was 23. Getting shot down like that every time really does a number on you and I know it's really warped me and my peers in a negative way. I was hoping that this video would touch on this as it is something younger me, hell even current me, needs to hear. That amount of rejection for that long really makes a form of loneliness that can be dangerous.

[@toweypat]

For real! People who go through that need videos to help them, not people who are too busy to date.

[@pdd8168]

So number 3 you’ve experienced trauma

[@dquino01]

@@pdd8168 I don't think that's trauma, as I still kept going but just get rejected alot. Trauma would be more like sexual assault, being in a controlling relationship, or having a shitty house life. Getting rejected wouldn't be anywhere near those.

[@ivythealiencat]

Have you tried befriending them or trying to raise the chances of being accepted? If some random dude confronted them and she had no idea who he was 99% of the time she will reject

[@ythelldoineedahandle]

@@ivythealiencat agree with you fully. Or if girls know that the op is desperately asking everyone out. People in general like to feel special.

[@mochiattoart514]

I've dated several people in my life and can confirm I went on a loooong break after a series of bad experiences- I probably numbed out any want to be vulnerable to people and ended up feeling so alone even around people I called friends.

[@hostileenvironment6107]

Sammeee, most "Supposed friends" No matter how loyal will mostly end up fucking you in the end, due to jealousy / social status what have you. Best thing to do sometimes is cut the bad fruit from the tree and form new experiences.

[@sixbren2158]

@@hostileenvironment6107 Sometimes you don't even know who to trust anymore...

[@hostileenvironment6107]

@@sixbren2158 F*cking really though. I've had to go to a counceller of late, and started taking anti depressants / anxiety pills of late because of all my trauma / trust issues. I know how you feel though man, it can be really hard opening up after bad friend break-ups / Relationships. Hope she gets better for yah. :)

[@sixbren2158]

@@hostileenvironment6107 Thanks. It's especially hard because in my case, I used to consider this guy as my best friend for many years. Then, it really started to go south, so I had to cut ties with him. It took me a long time to come to terms with him. But, here I am, in a much better place today because of it. Never give up, even when the going's tough

[@hostileenvironment6107]

@@sixbren2158 I feel the same way in my situation. Knew the guy since middle-school . People are just shitty most of the time. End of story. "Shrugs" You roigght though the end bit :)

[@Mister_Mojo]

Lmao. You’re killing me, Smalls! Anyone got an answer to the catch 22 of wanting a relationship but never had a crush or just never find people to be interesting to that degree?

[@KaylaPearlCPNinja]

I found myself in this very same situation too!

[@ahja6]

That's me-. I never had a crush on a real person before, because I keep falling for fictional characters

[@Mister_Mojo]

@@ahja6 Ah, of course! After the nuclear defeat of the Imperial Japanese during WW2, a secret plan was devised to completely rot the culture of Western Society through the advent of 2D Anime waifus. The subsequent plummeting birthrates would cause a complete technological dependency on Japanese biomedical products.

[@Rhonder517]

No answer sadly, but definitely right there with ya. Was too shy to act on crushes back in high school and college, and now that I'm a less shy adult I just don't really meet and get to know new people long enough to develop crushes anymore. I don't really experience instant attraction to people the way others seem to so I'm just like "what do" haha

[@ahja6]

@@Mister_Mojo I'm not talking about anime tho (I hope I didn't sound rude)

[@SES77]

Ive never dated before (21) because I have a hard time reading signs. I blew a really good potential realtionship earlier this year because of it, and its taken some time to forgive myself. But I will add this, there is an old quote from the Homer Simpson, in an episode where Moe gets ( and blows) a relationship: "Hey Moe, you went from standing on the side lines to getting in the game. Sometimes when you least expected [it], you realized that someone loved you. And that means someone can love you again! And that'll make you smile"

[@agatameble721]

I have this friend, she's 14 and just got her 1st boyfriend. I'm 17 and never dated anyone (I had opportunities, but I didn't like those people back, we weren't compatible). Now she's bothering me because of that sometimes- not all the time but she throws it in subtly. She says things like "You should get a boyfriend so you're less miserable" or "You're 17 and still single?". I'm not miserable, I just don't display emotions too much. I don't get why I should feel like I have to date a bunch of people in my teens. I want someone with the same values and beliefs as me and not just somebody for the sake of it.

[@xflipsyx9878]

Geez, don't listen to things like that, everyone has their own pace in relationships and you certainly don't need to be in one to find true happiness. Just live life to the fullest you can and if it's right it'll happen to you in time!

[@SuperShana97]

My god, some people can be obnoxious when it comes to dating. I mean they thinks it requires you to be in the relationship starting high school but in reality, it’s not. Everybody has their own pace in life. Honestly, you have the right to feel that you don’t need to date anyone now since you’re still young and the best way you can do is focus on yourself first.

[@BrandonP8176]

The biggest reason I'm still single is that all the women I've ever liked already had a boyfriend or husband. I know many women but none of them are single. Finding women isn't the problem. It's finding a woman that isn't already in a relationship is the problem.

[@walterdavies6434]

ever notice how ALL the attractive ones are married ?

[@ivythealiencat]

Look for friends first. If you go based off looks your gonna end up not finding anybody.

[@mastermitser5693]

@@ivythealiencat but they see him as a friend, to put it bluntly, the friendzone.

[@Aqueox]

@@walterdavies6434 "All the good ones are taken, the ones that are single are hiding something, and none of it matters because nobody wants me anyway." Repeat that to yourself enough times and eventually you'll find that you don't bother looking anymore. Very useful.

[@copykaktus4193]

@@Aqueox Actually useful PogU

[@cre8gnr8nrg]

I’m 50 so it was a different time for me. Have experienced many levels of love and one heartbreak in early 20’s it took 3 years before I’d get sexually intimate again. As a 21 year old guy that was rough but I learned a lot over the years/decades since. My outlook towards heartbreak and the tears that follow is that I embrace the tears because they were not possible without all the happiness and smiles that came before. I consider myself BLESSED as I’ve had a lot of good people come and go in my life. Maybe my outlook/perception/belief created that outcome. Don’t know but it’s worked well for me and I thought I’d share in case it can help another. 🤗

[@sme7385]

YOU ARE COOL AND YOU ROCK!

[@vanessalopez2083]

I’ve dated a lot and I agree with this. It’s also hard to met people now a days because of Covid. It’s not like anyone can go out and meet new people like how it was before Covid. But I do agree with all the points.

[@andrewterry9577]

I'm not a expert but I think my introverted tendencies, my isolated career, my fear of women, and a long history of being left alone/abandoned, probably has something to do with the reason I'm 24 and never dated anyone.

[@will9001asd]

My first relationship was at 22 with a 21 yo girl. I'm glad I dated at that age and not before because even at 31, looking back now, I was still really immature at 22. Mentally, emotionally and lacking in perspective and empathy. The most growing part of my life was during the year after my break up with that girl 26-27. I've dated again after the break and got everything I thought I would have wanted and did not find happiness. So now I'm alone (31). I realize that happiness is not found by being in a relationship, but instead you have to be with someone who makes you happy. Find happiness being with yourself, so that when you date; you'll know what it is you can't compromise for the survival of the relationship.

[@silversleeper1193]

I’m 30 and never dated before. Never let anyone tell you there’s something wrong with you just because you aren’t in a relationship when they think you should be. I’ve never once regretted the way I live my life.

[@raccoon2577]

To the people who don’t think they don’t know how to flirt; hi so when I first started dating my partner and they didn’t know how to flirt that good I found it actually very adorable when they would just turn into a stuttering flustered mess and made me like them even more so don’t worry they’ll still like you if you think you messed up :]

[@vigroxxleo4019]

If ur zodiac is Virgo Gemini Leo u all ready in how to flirt;/

[@satorii_2060]

@@vigroxxleo4019 your zodiac has nothing to do with this

[@thisannoyinggirlrightthere9359]

@@satorii_2060 fr, enough of this astrology bullshit

[@humanzombieninja]

it depends on who the person is

[@humanzombieninja]

@@satorii_2060 guess im not the only person who thinks that

[@littlerockstar9075]

Out of curiosity, is there a video talking about why people would want to date constantly? This one talks about the reasons why people wouldn’t want to date. Is there one discussing why others would (besides the very obvious reasons like common values, interest, friends, etc)?

[@ferdithetank7535]

It's a common stereotype that states "successful" people date with ease, sometimes even as a challenge with certain conditions. While there is some truth in that, most people date because they feel left out being alone/not engaged in relationship.

[@MrOoh50]

Dunno, i don't think there is one right now. but if u try to put yourself for a moment in someone's prospective, who dating etc, you will find out the everyone dating just to find and choose among others, based on their beliefs needs and qualities. No? Sure can be stressful sometimes but can be worth the risk and the chance of be heart broken. Delusion come in life anyway not only in dating environment, overall i think experiences can make u a better person also even die-hard singles want someone to encourage they and tell them that everything is alright.

[@bellv4163]

I want to date constantly cause i have an anxious preoccupied attachment style lol

[@jordothe1st835]

I don't date because I don't trust people and I rather let someone ask me out than me asking them out because I'm shy, I'm also taking my time at life and if love doesn't find me then oh well no one deserves me and I love myself and that's enough love for me unless someone is willing to share, until then I'm single and happy 😁 I also appreciate the videos... Many people need videos like this especially when they have a hard time with life in general Actually.... I don't know how people have trouble with life if your the one controlling it, and if it's bad then make it better

[@ritiorlandosaremybae3164]

wtf same

[@Rose-gy1cc]

I agree. I mean who can you trust these days

[@jordothe1st835]

@@ritiorlandosaremybae3164 nice 👍 but not at the same time

[@jordothe1st835]

@@Rose-gy1cc yourself, family, close friends and people you know... But you always have the power over your life and can remove them from your life, I've done that to many people

[@Frenchtoasty0s]

@@jordothe1st835 sometimes blood relations are the ones fucking you over. I don’t need to recount all the times a trusted family member betrayed family by “assaulting” a child. Or how they deal with their addictions and steal from family and those tryna help. Even parents trying their best to raise their kids and still end up mentally fucking their kids over for LIFE, Etc.

[@Michael-fm8xx]

Personally, I haven't dated yet because I just haven't found the right person yet. I've tried a few people but never seemed to go anywhere, so i'm just taking it as a sign it's just not the right time. To quote other advice I've heard on this, if you try to force it to happen, it's not going to, or at least not nearly as well as it does when it happens naturally. If you're struggling with being single, just remember; you have the rest of your life to find someone, spend the time being single to work on yourself and be even better. That's advice to me, as it is to you :)

[@ellmrasogota6432]

My biggest issue is my chronic shyness. This blocks me from most social things and I've only gotten to dating once and that ended. I'm trying to get back into it but I'm having issues finding the right person

[@toweypat]

That's my biggest issue, too.

[@ellmrasogota6432]

@CosmicRex I'm sorry people arnt respecting your disability. I don't really tell people about my chronic shyness because of the other people doing just as you described.

[@Callebravo]

Agreed. Nowadays it’s really hard to find someone you can connect or have chemistry with. It’s hard especially being a shy introvert.

[@ToniWellons]

Mine too

[@ellmrasogota6432]

@@pirupami9746 no I javent

[@SouthernDiva24]

I've never dated or even had my first kiss. All if these reasons are accurate. I don't feel I'm in the right place to date, I feel like I don't connect with people I'm around and I don't know how to be vulnerable in that way. I definitely guard my heart and I don't really know how to connect with people. It's tough.

[@Rose-gy1cc]

I can relate.

[@superstar64]

There's at least two reasons for me. 1. Other people are the only way I can be convinced I'm not an awful human being, and 2. No girl wants me, ever has wanted me, and probably will want me. Last one I was talking to pretty much doesn't even know I exist, and looking back, I don't believe she ever did.

[@evilnightbot3131]

How do your comment is 1month ago ...this video posted 2minutes ago

[@stephanc6138]

1 mth ago??

[@Q12278]

@@evilnightbot3131 members get videos early

[@evilnightbot3131]

@@stephanc6138 yes i have ss

[@roxassora2706]

Maybe a girl gave you signs she wanted you, but they went over your head.

[@oldschooldatingtechniques4306]

For a while, I fell under the "don't want to date" category. I was just emotionally burned out before I met my hubby.

[@fernssy]

still in my early teens, my whole school seems to make fun of single people and its really unfair. Id rather not date anyone at my age but yet people still get at me for being single, and badger me for rejecting people

[@trash_man_rizuberry]

I never plan on dating or being in a relationship. Why? 1. I really just don't click with people like that 🤷🏻‍♂️ not really my thing 2. I'm not sure how well many people would understand my way of thinking and living 3. I'd rather enrich myself with knowledge, travel to meet new people and learn how people live, while sharing knowledge with others 🌐 4. Having a pet is so much easier than dealing with a person 🐶🐱🐰🦎

[@frogzillatheki11a007]

Being single is fun but I do get lonley and a bit sad when reading Romance and shoujo manga lol

[@roxassora2706]

I'm in the same boat, minus the reading part.

[@starr.m0ment]

"you don't get out much" *me, spending 98% of my time in my room*

[@janellynwoo17]

I've been reading a lot of comments about people sharing their stories on why they haven't dated or how it feels to have not experienced relationships before, and there are common themes of shyness, mental health, being rejected, different values, etc. I wanted to share my thoughts and story because it's very different from what I've read, but I have the same outcome of zero dating experience. Hopefully it helps comfort anyone if they're in a similar place! To start, I'm a very extroverted, outgoing 16 year old girl who has a lot of charisma and positive energy, so talking to people and making new friends comes naturally to me. I don't really struggle with social anxiety or mental health issues either. I'm also a very kind and caring person, and sometimes people mistake it for flirting lol. Overall, my personality has never really been a reason for me to not get into dating. I've always wanted to date, and I know there are people who would date me if I was open to it. I've just never felt ready for a relationship. As many have mentioned, it's important to work on yourself and become the best version of you before entering a relationship, and that's something I've constantly been working on. I pursue my passions, and I work hard on things that matter to me. The thing is, because I'm doing a lot, I barely take time to care for myself and get sleep and not stretch myself thin. (I definitely need to prioritize those things more.) So I think to myself, if I barely make personal time for myself as it is, how will I be able to make time for a partner? Relationships require time and dedication; they don't operate on one-sided convenience. I know schedules only get busier as I get older, so I wonder how I'll ever make it work. I know I will, I'm just not sure how yet. **also side note, my parents and I haven't discussed relationships or dating yet, and I know they don't want me to until college, but I feel like dating someone in high school (especially as a junior or senior) is fine if the person is worth it and it gives you some experience in a more informal setting with people you already know. I understand that it's a huge distraction which means it's something that'll need to be balanced with everything else, but people make it happen, so I can too.

[@sorryipanicked3849]

I am one of the people who has never been in a relationship, but doesn't ever want to be. I'm asexual and aromantic, which means that I'm not actually attracted to people in a way anymore than friendship. I knows some aro/ace people still date, but I personally have no interest for romance, and I find... some activities extremely nasty. But my friends always tease me, asking who I like, as if I _should_ have a crush. I haven't mentioned that I'm ace/aro, but I feel like I shouldn't have to find a fancy name for "I don't like people that way" for them to respect that. I did at one point lie that I had a crush on someone, and even said who it was, simply because every single one of my friends had a crush and I felt left out. So yeah. I don't really know where I'm going with this. I guess I just haven't told anyone and wanted to get it off my chest? Although it is kind of fun to hang out with my friends and think "they don't know that I'm ace/aro." It's like I have a wonderful secret, and it makes me inexplicably happy. Sorry for writing this monster of a comment, but um, yeah. Thanks for reading I guess? Stay safe. Get your vaccines. Wear your masks. Don't give a fck what anyone else says. And, most importantly, have a wonderful day.

[@matylda4169]

Feels good to find here someone who's also aro/ace. Thanks for your comment :)

[@gregorycyr9272]

I am 58 and am a virgin,had plenty of chances with women but I just don't want to deal with it.Set in my ways,yes it gets lonely at times but I like being free of drama and responsibility.

[@spreadwuvokay]

How are your friends supposed to respect something they don't know? Especially when you've lied about it and told them that you do feel those feelings, for a specific person they probably knew no less. You're expecting them to read your aro/ace mind which is already asinine but then you go and give them reason to believe you're the opposite of what you are, it's nonsensical.

[@tommygunn6901]

Dating is just too frustrating now. Just to try and "fix" everything is exhausting! It's too much pressure

[@ReaperEnd]

To be fair I've almost given up on dating due to past heartbreaks, drama, and because dating seems so complicated now. I feel like I have to help fix their passed issues while dealing with mine. I'm just so over trying to be perfect for someone Edit: I know nobody's perfect but I have a habit of not feeling good enough/ wanting to always do better

[@yingmin629]

Almost all these are in my checklist. The vulnerability part and self love hit me so hard especially. I find it difficult to open up and be out there vulnerable when I'm still learning to love myself. I'm actually a coward about falling in love.

[@bc.relationships]

"You shouldn't feel rushed or feel the need to date out of pressure" THIS!! Thank you for pointing this one out :) so many mixed messages out there about where you should be in the dating world at a certain age-- especially for teens and young adults-- it can be difficult to ignore those voices and actually listen to what you want. It's okay if what you want doesn't line up with what culture or the people around you want, especially when it comes to dating.

[@AvediGames]

I thought it was just bc ppl saw me as ugly. That’s what I’ve always believed, and while I do think this is true, i also see that I have a few other reasons according to this video.

[@JokerCrowe]

The phrase "successful relationship" is interesting to me, because I can bet everyone has a slightly different definition of what it means, but a lot of people still use it as a generally accepted term. Personally, I think a "successful relationship" is one where both parties emerge better/wiser people, who mean eachother no harm. The length of the relationship doesn't matter to me, it can be a month or a year or 10 or 20 years. I think it's important to just ride the "wave" until it lands/breaks, and then Move On. I think a lot of pain and suffering is caused by people staying in relationships they have no interest in the relationship anymore.

[@frenchrevenge6406]

Finally a RELATEBLE video on the topic from this channel, thanks

[@avidhossanmansur9830]

I just turned 20 and I never "dated" anyone because, 1. I am too busy with college and my athletic career plus I run a small business. 2. I am not stable enough to handle a romantic relationship ( financially and emotionally) 3. Most of the women I know are my good friends and I don't want to put them in an awkward position by asking them out. 4. I AM STILL LIVING WITH MY PARENTS.

[@xMckingwill]

Lol number 4 is actually the least important thing. Living with your parents at 20 ( even up until 30) is VERY smart and it will definitely help you with point 3 ESPECIALLY when it comes to financiances. All the money you would use on rent you can use and invest in your buiness

[@erikas.6790]

Number 4 is not a problem at all, if you don't have a really good reason to leave why should you go away from your family?

[@AbhishekKumar-jm1tw]

In india we stay with our parents forever if we want to , I don't get it why Americans have made this thing that by staying with your parents you become a looser . That's why so many young Americans are in so much debt .

[@ythelldoineedahandle]

@@AbhishekKumar-jm1tw also the costs of higher education and health care expenses are important factors.

[@AbhishekKumar-jm1tw]

@@ythelldoineedahandle no use of such development when basic facilities are so expensive . Americans come to India for medical treatment

[@lajellybeans]

I've come to terms that dating just isn't something that interests me. I used to feel really bad about myself for feeling this way (sometimes I still do), but I just don't get the appeal of dating. I have very little dating experience. Even the few times that the dates went well, I would always catch myself thinking, "gosh, I can't wait to go home and do my own thing..." Then I realized that I was pretending to want to do something that I really didn't want to do... I haven't dated in four years now and even though it gets lonely sometimes, I feel much better about myself. Most people exhaust me and I get easily bored of people. Then when the loneliness hits, I remember all the dating horror stories and abusive relationships that I have heard about and I think, "eh...why tf would I want that for myself?? That sounds awful!" And I just keep living my life focused on the hobbies that give me so much joy. I know I am not normal, but at least I accept myself.

[@envision_change_grow]

Honestly speaking, I have been reading a lot of the comments and a lot of people who commented have similar opinions and values on some things and resonate with this video and understand somethings. I wish there was a group for all of us to chat to make friends and stuff.

[@OneBoredCatbug]

There's something about this art style I adore, I don't know if it's my favourite yet, but it's definitely something special.

[@psychoweasley5971]

This video was super helpful for me specifically, since it’s a topic that’s been on my mind quite a lot for years. So thank you

[@Psych2go]

Glad this helps!! How many reasons did you resonate with?

[@classifiedinformation6353]

I have recently decided not to actively try to date. I was exceedingly uncomfortable with dating while in my teenaged years, and therefore, never dated. In my 20's I went out on two separate torturous dates. During my 30's, I had two relationships that lasted for more than several months. One very disappointing relationship in my 40's that put me in a dry spell for 18 years. I developed into adulthood without a satisfying romantic relationship. I do not know what a good relationship feels like, therefore, I do not know what I am missing. I am now middle aged and have little incentive to complicate my life. John

[@Brisbae]

That was really sad to read

[@ashley_cantave]

One trend I notice as I read the comments is, a lot of the time, we've never dated because we're afraid to get out of our comfort zone. We're afraid to get hurt. We're afraid of heartbreak. We're afraid of rejection. We're afraid of looking silly. We're afraid to try new things, go new places, and meet new people. But the thing is, our partner might not be in our current social circle. They may not be in our community or maybe even our country. The way I understand it, and this was mentioned in the video, you have to take risks to find love if that's something you truly want. I still believe in the waiting and hoping philosophy, but I also believe life is about taking risks. And they don't have to be big risks. Just trying food from a restaurant you've never been to before counts. And if you should happen to meet your partner along the way, all the better. I'm hoping 2022 will be a year for all of us to do something that scares us. I'm sure whatever we learn or experience as a result will be worth it.

[@sjcross8]

Sometimes when I watch these videos I kinda think they’re pop psych and don’t necessarily hold merit, but this video really helped me. It made me feel normal and like I’m not alone. It helped me understand why I’m so alone. I’m 25 and no one I’ve ever liked, even a little bit, has liked me back. But maybe I’m not doomed to be alone forever.

[@sierrafazekas3530]

I left an abusive marriage years ago, so no wonder I'm having a hard time in the love department. But I'm gunna keep working on myself and healing and I want you guys to keep focusing on yourselves too! ❤🙂

[@TheMarrification]

The trouble is, after so long without getting your needs met, so much intense bitterness and resentment has built up, that it makes being nice to a potential new significant other nearly impossible. I think Paul Simon said it well: "the nearer your destination, the more you're slip-sliding away".

[@CosmoMaster888]

I relate to both 5 and 8. I've never felt like I wanted to date anyone for now and I'm really focused on getting personal stuff done.

[@gumaber_]

I had my first boyfriend 12 years ago and we broke up after 6 or so months. I've been single for 12yrs now and I think no 7 & 8 are the main reasons. I think I'm ready to date but I don't know how to get started. I tried dating apps but I'm not comfortable sharing my information online. I prefer to meet people the "normal" way like through friends etc. Edit : no 2 applies to me too 😆

[@gumaber_]

@Marina Tello I read about this and maybe I am. I'm not sure yet. ☺️

[@skater96937]

You can try tinder. 😁

[@gumaber_]

@@skater96937 i have. I can't stand it. Lol.

[@drewwsk]

i wrote a letter to my crush, and even though i was super anxious i still gave it to my friend to slip into her backpack. it was one of the greatest decisions of my life.

[@shelovesgigi]

i've been waiting on this one

[@Crazy-Cocoa-2.0]

I have a friend who had a crush on me in high school. I'm not really experienced with romance so I didn't know if I liked him back or not. I thought about it long and hard and initially thought that maybe I did like him back, I wasn't experienced in feeling love, so I didn't see much of a problem with it. I liked him because he was adorable, good- natured, funny, and was brave enough to stand up for himself and me when bullies came along. When college came around, we got too busy to talk to each other so we never really did. I thought long and hard about it, and realized I wanted to date him for his sake and not for our sake. I eventually broke up with him. He understood and we're still really good friends to this day. Now he's come out as gay and in a healthy relationship with a guy 😉 I just want to learn what romance actually feels like.

[@daniloaugusto4822]

A kiss from Brazil, you're videos are amazing!

[@SoldierOfFate]

30 years old here and let me tell you all, I've had enough crap relationships and friendships that I'm resigned to the possible fate of being single for the rest of my life. I recently cut a whole bunch of people out that I thought I could consider as my "friends" until I found out they were all talking behind my back and siding with a drama queen even though I have done more for them to the point where if I didn't, a lot of our gatherings would've never happened. Life is not always kind to you, but here I am, still marching on. Even volunteering at a hospital in these rough times as a form of therapy.

[@rustydusty3646]

People suck honestly filtering out all the bad one will lead to the good people hopefully

[@MrOoh50]

Nice to hear it bro! i do the same cutting in pandemic years, thx for being kind to help people at a hospital keep it up :D never give up!

[@cheesesoup2224]

I’ve never dated anyone. I would like to, but Ik that if I rush into things I won’t like it. A lot of people around me rush into relationships and only last a week. I feel like relationships that only last a week is due to it being one sided or they did it just bc they felt like it. I want my relationships to have meaning. I want both of us to like each other and enjoy talking to each other

[@Atomic-lq2fb]

you have NO IDEA how much I needed this video. seriously.

[@nourmallysalty]

what about the reason that people just simple don’t want me. i feel like i’m the type of person who will give more love than they’ll ever receive in this lifetime

[@Lonevessel]

It's been over 13 years without going on a date with anyone. All those years passed and yet I still don't have one, not that I want one or anything. All I'm just saying is that I don't think it's necessary to have a date, just long as you do you then you're fine. There's always a chance and only time will tell when you're ready.

[@silverwick818]

This gave excellent advice. I'm 23 and have never had a boyfriend because I'm a homebody and am not surrounded by my ideal type of man. Plus, it's just more comfortable being single at this point...

[@aiiiia9971]

Hm, yeah, I feel similarly. I am 20. I think I just don't interact with enough people to find the right partnet, and I don't feel like putting myself out there. So why bother yk? But sometimes I feel like I may be missing out

[@pokeman316]

@@aiiiia9971 20 years old as well and I feel like I wrote this myself. Let’s focus on ourselves and hope for the best. Our time will come

[@silverwick818]

Thanks for reaching out, guys. ^^

[@MajinTrev]

I’m the same age and have never dated anyone before either. Just really no point in trying, it’s never interested me enough to actually put in the effort and put myself out there.

[@Strawebbie]

The art is amazing- it’s simple and adorable

[@elfheimr]

amazing work, really helped alot in explaining what exactly i was looking for

[@Bluesuffolk]

I know what I want in a partner. I even met a person who embodies all the traits I could ask for, so I know they exist and cohabitate in real people. This individual is already married, but I know exactly what to look for now.

[@kayskreed]

I am a guys in his 30s, never dated or had a girlfriend. When I was a teen, I was very self-conscious and shy. I had trouble making eye contact with girls, and especially talking to them. Then in my twenties, although less self-conscious, I was still quite shy. I talked to girls and even had a few girl "buddies", but it never went further than that. I was super focused on my studies and rarely had the time to do much else, like partaking in casual get-togethers, plus I am a non drinker (and so I didn't). Then in my late twenties I got even busier as I took on the role of family caregiver (which remains to this day). Having a social life was a pipe dream at best. There was simply no time, no freedom nor energy to do so. Single people without significant social responsibilities could not comprehend what that entailed. It probably didn't help that I was never particularly "romantic". By romantic I do not mean asexual, as sexual attraction is something I've always experienced; instead, what I mean by this is that I was never particularly fond of _romance itself,_ be it dating, the courtship, the conventions. I am a fairly unconventional (and fervently anti-materialistic) person although it may not seem so from the surface. I have never been interested in marriage or having children--which seems to be the end goal of dating for many if not most. As I see it, romance =! love. These are two completely different things that people confuse. In a society that places romance on a pedestal, but where love itself is greater underappreciated, it's unlikely to run into like-minded people (though once again, it has not but my luxury to try). Love is not a feeling, not something that happens to you if you wait long enough; love is a choice, it's an action. Too many focus on trying to make themselves into objects of affection, but not enough on actually _loving_ others without expectation. To love, that is a skill that must be practised and learned (probably just like dating). It's different than dating of course, but a skill nonetheless. And so there you have it, a mix of circumstances and a personal philosophy at odds with mainstream society (and therefore many people who partake in it).

[@manosijthehero3686]

I am also shy near girls. Are you still shy? If not, if you have crush on someone then try your luck now. I am 21 now in last year of college so I am at least a decade younger than you and I never had a girlfriend so I can understand how you feel. I had been using tinder, bumble and hinge for almost a month but not even a single match. I have 4 crushes on real life. 3 are from my college and are 18-20 year olds and another is 23 or 24 from another institute. I am too shy but finally managed to get the name of 2 of my crushes and follow them on Instagram and finally messaged one of them and was really happy when finally one of the crush who is 19 and in 2nd year replied to me. I didn't say her yet that I have crush on her but I am in last year of college and will be graduating by August end or Sept first week so would I have any chance with her and should I try to date her? I am confused and I am kinda scared to say her about my crush on her.

[@TroL0iO1er]

I’m 24 and never dated anyone before. I have been through PTSDs with someone I liked in the past, it was not fun. I then refocused my energy on myself. I now view youth as my freedom capital to do bold things such as starting business, etc. Sometimes I do yearn for a relationship but I won’t put it as my priority, I’m doing great currently and if it happens it happens. Besides all of the mentioned points, family development plays a key role as well. Family teaches us to how express emotions and love.

[@solereflection9284]

This is great advice for those who have been in past relationships and are having trouble trying again.

[@huntas4712]

I’m currently 18 and I have never dated anyone before, and I don’t plan to do so any time in the future. I feel happy to be single because it makes me feel strong, independent, loved by many, and I don’t have to worry about all the crap that comes from people who date. The only thing I have to ever worry about is people who want me to meet females even though I am already happy enough with my life.

[@brycenasay6051]

Really awesome video, found myself nodding to and agreeing with a lot of these points! I do personally think I’m extremely independent, and I think I need to realise that that’s okay! I like the idea of dating/being in a relationship, but think that will mostly come in college. Whilst in high school, I think it’s best for me to put myself first and dating second. But thanks, and great work as always ❤️

[@limberclan]

This is one of the best Channels I've come across.

[@drewpocernich2540]

Thanks, I needed this today.

[@Infiniversal]

I have dated zero people and only have had one crush in my life like 4 years ago so. . . Yeah. Plus having ADHD and being on the autism spectrum basically makes me different than most people.

[@ivythealiencat]

And everyone I seem to meet are abilist asf and refuse to date people with minor issues

[@rulerofthepronouns]

I would also like to add on another reason I didn’t see mentioned. Personally, I don’t date because I don’t experience romantic attraction. This is known as being an aromantic. I don’t want a romantic relationship, and will never feel that desire, want or attraction for a romantic relationship. Often peoples will say that aromantic individuals just haven’t met the right person, or that they’re a late bloomer, but the truth is that they might not feel that attraction at all. I am not broken, and people who find themselves identifying with this label aren’t broken either. I just figured I’d add this, as it might be an additional reason as to why you may not be in a relationship or want one. Hope this helps!

[@MeemahSN]

Finally someone who I can relate to!

[@chilling5858]

was looking for this comment, cheers

[@na00097]

It’s such a nice flex to say that I’ve never had an ex. No issues, no fighting, none of that toxic residue that people and mainstream social media talks about 😊

[@TheAfricansara]

I find these videos so comforting ❤️

[@topazbutterfly1853]

I think my reason is trauma. I found out I’m gay 2 years ago. I had a hard time accepting this fact, but now I see it as a part of my identity. I think I’m ready for a relationship, but first I have to come out of the closet. So I decided to tell my mother first, so she wouldn’t be surprised by rumours and things like this. When I tried to tell her, I could see that she got really scared and worried. She imediately denied it and made up excuses. I felt so scared that I accepted her denial and now we act as if nothing happened. Whenever I think of myself with someone, I see my mother and get sad. She is the most important person in my life. I also can’t find my type of partener in tge community I live in right now.

[@guerimjj]

Am 20 years old but I have never dated anyone. At first, it was because of my trauma. I was afraid I might hurt my partner. But now, it's just that I know what I want and I'm a demisexual so I guess it'll take a while to start dating someone. I want to take it slow because I got hurt by my first love so yeah. We'll go slow. It's ok! We will find our significant others one day. So let's find healthy relationships and be happy!❣️

[@Prinzyxox]

I absolutely love your voice. It’s just so… soothing.

[@austenp93]

Good job voicing this video Amanda? ! Best name by the way. Look forward to hearing future narrations.

[@SBK2552]

It kind of sucks being single at my age (30). All of the people I know are in a relationship, engaged, or married. Rarely anyone at my age is still single. That is why it is so tough for me to find someone.

[@theoutlander5776]

36 here, and being a male intj doesn't help when you literally send women running from you because of your death stare.💀 women say shy, quiet, intelligent guys are attractive but yet they never approach.😔

[@SBK2552]

@@theoutlander5776 I don't do a death stare, but yeah I have been single my whole life and that doesn't help that I have had no experience either.

[@CuteTuxik]

@@theoutlander5776 INTP here and from my observations I've figured out that atractiveness makes you appear more inteligent however being inteligent doesn't make you attractive. Btw, in dating context women are in passive role so you as a male are expected to do most approaching. I will tell you that it is not that hard to get a date but not falling into constant friendzone is the real challange here :/ I approach dating as a form of a social research/experiment.

[@seabreeze4559]

wait until the divorces, you'll feel better

[@Aqueox]

@@theoutlander5776 22 INTJ fucker reporting, can relate. I just stopped trying. Didn't bother in college. It would have been easier if I didn't have any morals at all but as a Christian guy and a guy who's remained a virgin, I look for the same out of a potential partner. Finding a girl my age that's a virgin in the fucking "United" States? Lol I think even God has a laugh at how stupid that former hope is. Best to just forget about all of it and focus on the next civil war coming down the line. Might even get lucky and die quickly.

[@frenchbassguy]

My last relationship was ten years ago. I've pretty much given up on the whole idea for myself. But part of me still has hope, which I think is the root of my depression :(

[@schmoop3660]

I can confirm as a 17-year-old who is about to turn 18 tomorrow that you really don't need romance to be happy. I thought I was feeling down due to not dating but late last year through a school pen pal program I met my best friend. It's been really great having someone to talk to about my feelings and now I also have the hobby of making KZbin videos which has also been really fun! so yeah, it turned out that I never really needed dating to be happy

[@kevin-cx3ro]

Exactly, Dating isn't something that teenagers are supposed to do, maybe go for it when you're finally experienced like around the age of 25. It's best to not go for a girl, since i'm friends with a girl who dated my friend. We talked about romance and dating the other day, and she said no since dating in a young age really sucks and is supposed to not do. I'll try to move on and start my business when i turn into an adult. 💕😊

[@cassidybrow3412]

Happy birthday (*^▽^*)

[@eduardom3209]

Happy birthday 🎉

[@xend_er6975]

Happy birthday 🎉

[@camilamedina7314]

Happy birthday, person!

[@susmitatripathy5659]

23 and proposed twice and got rejected due to the usual reasons like not interested in relationship , want to build career first etc. For myself, I didn't like the idea of getting old without trying a go at relationship, let it be dating , casual , Fwb whatever connotation. But then everytime I seriously start considering, I get serious to an extent I no longer wish to move ahead with that plan or person and I drop it.

[@thegreatskinkpriest8104]

19, never even come close to a romantic relationship. I’ve had crushes but I’ve always been too scared to say anything, and also I’m super self conscious about my body so.