8 Tips For Writing Sex Scenes

18+ only probably! Leave a like and a comment if you feel bad that I had to read erotica out loud tysm
MORE KRYS: / krystalblaze777
BETTY: / pipsqueakphotog
BUY LITTLE BIRDS: amzn.to/2FMdbmg
AUDIOBOOK: adbl.co/2Vo8sMo
SIGNED COPIES: hannahleekidder.com/store/
🌎 L I N K S
WEBSITE: hannahleekidder.com/
PATREON: / hannahleekidder
FACEBOOK: / hannahleekidder
TWITTER: / hannahleekidder
INSTAGRAM: / hannahleekidder
🙌D I S C O U N T L I N K S
SKILLSHARE (2 month free trial): skl.sh/2Vp4HUA
THREDUP ($10 store credit): www.thredup.com/r/Q3QDXG
📸 E Q U I P M E N T
VIDEO LIGHT: amzn.to/2YDN3P5
RING LIGHT: amzn.to/2IEK7Ll
CAMERA (sorta, mine is discontinued, but this is close): amzn.to/2NmTxMe
MICROPHONE: amzn.to/2O43KCH
LAPTOP: amzn.to/34ow1s0

[@KassieFox]

I agree about the strong black hands. I'd never write a character as having "strong white hands".

[@ManiaMac1613]

Just "strong hands" by itself would have worked fine

[@huxley8575]

has very....racist....connotations

[@Bombur888]

The sentence whole might be a bit cliché, but I absolutely refute the idea that the usage of the word "black" as a description isn't an actual description or that it would be racist in any way. And the same goes with white. You might not usually see "strong white hands" because it isn't really a common collocation, but you'll absolutely see "white hands", and "white face" and "white" other body parts. Now why isn't "strong white hands" a common collocation? I'd say probably because the archetypal strong virile man partakes in outside labor and other outdoor activities, so if he happens to be white, you'd use "brown" or whatever other fitting word to evoke a tan.

[@jwilsthem.c3780]

​​​@@Bombur888Hi Black Person here When using white in the context you mention they're usually referring to the absence of blood flow to that particular area as opposed to the literal race of the person And while as Description of someone's skin tone in a general sense is typically fine Due to sexualization and Fetishism of various ethnic groups within writing Using that description within this context can sound very uncomfortable and should generally be avoided Like saying someone's strong Caucasian hands during a sex scene or strong Asian hands sounds so strange and we know in this context that person is directly referring to their race when they absolutely do not have to So she's absolutely right in calling it a sensitivity issue because it is. Something considered offensive in one culture or to one group may not necessarily be offensive to another.

[@Bombur888]

​@@jwilsthem.c3780 Yeah but black is also a color, so it's a more natural and visual description than Caucasian or Asian.

[@conor8185]

as a gay man writing pretty much exclusively very gay fantasy novels, the fetishism of mlm relationships and the biological insanity that is in so much mlm literature (not written by gay men or men at all) is absolutely off the charts and i thank you for talking about it 😭

[@valenz1234]

As a dickless person writing gay erotica... (sorry)

[@howdyhowdyhelga]

That second scene gets a big yikes from me. And I can't the only one who cringed when I realized it was a black man being in such an aggressively worded sex scene with a white woman. Like, aggressive sex is fine if it's worded well, but considering racial stereotypes, the way it was written just feels a bit gross.

[@BishyFiveSogafi]

Do I feel bad for you having to read them out loud? Yeah, I do. Did I laugh a whole lot at it? Yea, I did.

[@HannahLeeKidder]

I do it all for you

[@BishyFiveSogafi]

@@HannahLeeKidder I heard you do it for the girls and the gays. Recent comments imply as such, but would you care to give your input?

[@HannahLeeKidder]

@@BishyFiveSogafi input on if I do it for the girls and gays? I certainly do. "the girls" is an all-inclusive term you simply need the vibe

[@BishyFiveSogafi]

@@HannahLeeKidder Glad to hear it. Will continue to stan.

[@NaomiKing]

I loved this. And I don't want to be negative, but that second scene made me extremely uncomfortable and I 100% agree with your views on the frequent use of "assault" and "invaded". (Also, it kinda read like the smut I see on Tumblr and that's probably not a compliment.)

[@HannahLeeKidder]

haha I think it's the starter pack sex scene that most people write before they get their erotica limbs stretched out n ready

[@delmattia96]

I am commenting after you reading the "Ontari" erotica and... wow. That was extremely good. Like, seriously well written, and your comments on top of it made what would have probably been a vague sensation into a clear and explained feeling. Too often I end up focusing on world and characters more than on my prose, but your extremely educational videos keep reminding me of the importance of good writing and word choices. Thank you.

[@ABAlphaBeta]

Nobody: My novel: "slick mound"

[@HannahLeeKidder]

a;wljehflawekjf

[@ManiaMac1613]

Poner Benis

[@misandristthoughtcrimer6574]

the second scene made me so uncomfortable dfksdf we learn the girl is white, at the same time hearing a bunch of "assault" words, then we learn the man is black... it didnt feel organic either. real dominants tend to have more of a dialogue, and a good one wouldn't start out with dirty talk that blurred consent lines without knowing the person's history before that. you can't dom for just anyone without risking triggering past traumas. hence bdsm having a big aftercare element. there's not really an excuse not to know if you're writing about it, there's lots of youtubers who talk about it ~aka why im a complete outsider to bdsm but know any of this~ the info is available readily to any writers. if you want to have a big tough dominant man character and do it safely instead of all 50shades you gotta know consent very personally also.... i feel like some dude writers think girl nipples get boners. is that supposed to happen? am i the weird one?

[@nikitabouwer8876]

All women's nipples and breasts are different, but some get hard when turned on. It depends on the kind of nipple you have. Some nipples are always "hard and perky", others not. For me, my nipples aren't "perky" but become hard and my breasts grow slightly in response to being turned on, just like the labia and clitoris do.

[@saunatonttu93]

This is genuinely so useful advice with all the concrete examples. I am very guilty of play-by-play writing, but I was unsure what to do about it. Thank you for this video!

[@HannahLeeKidder]

Thanks for watching! Glad it helped 🤗

[@jessbreakwell8338]

The third scene is my favourite.

[@HannahLeeKidder]

Just so solid

[@GaviLazan]

I had two ads before this video, seems like you're good.

[@HannahLeeKidder]

sweet

[@fallingjupiter]

"elevators get me like that too sometimes" lmao. Hannah, always with the winning commentary

[@lileyclark]

The amount of mental gymnastics I had to do in my years of reading spicy fanfiction is INSANE 😂

[@Dylan_Devine]

Regarding your point on number five, the "no play by play," it makes me think that sex scenes should be written in a similar fashion to action / fight scenes. That might sound silly at first, but if you think about it they're quite similar. In both cases, you don't want a mechanical play by play where each limb is always accounted for in bone-dry detail. In both, you want to meet the right middle ground between emotion and technical execution, and in both the scene should exist for a reason. The more I think about it, the more parallels I find between writing good fight scenes and writing good sex ones.

[@noriakikakyoin8478]

Woah, you're completely right.

[@aliceinthesand]

I wanna cry after that first story omgggggg

[@HannahLeeKidder]

ask them for the whole document it's so good

[@theunwantedbookclub8823]

Can I just gush for a sec? Your writing is seriously the best I've read so far on this platform. It's fluid, but the flow doesn't rock or jar you, but carries you like a river. I'll definitely be keeping a close eye out for your upcoming book because it's always a treat to read anything you've written, even in examples on your videos. I wish you the best of luck. Seriously, you're gonna go far, kid

[@thebeardedgamerbryan]

Glad to provide fodder for you to educate the masses on what not to do. :) Excellent work as always Hannah!

[@HannahLeeKidder]

thanks for taking one for the team 😂

[@sarahdray4311]

I need Krys' novel like, right now, the prose is so gorgeous 🥺 Edit: spelling

[@KailorAurelius]

Thank you

[@HannahLeeKidder]

Yeah we're all waiting

[@DemonTom]

As an Erotica Author, this was really helpful to me. It affirmed things im doing right, and showed me things to improve upon. Thanks Hannah!

[@micahklassen7151]

Petition for Krys to finish their novels 🥺

[@HannahLeeKidder]

please!!

[@Beci1509]

I will sign

[@KailorAurelius]

I am working on it @.@

[@lindanaush4241]

@@KailorAurelius I kept this video on my "Watch Later," so I could come back to it and look for your stuff. Stalked the provided Twitter, too. Please, PLEASE, finish it. Or any other writing! I loved the language and imagery in your story; I had hoped to buy it and learn from someone SO MUCH BETTER than I am.

[@daddydevito.]

Krystal Dean any news? :-0

[@chilltemper]

I could feel the climax pun before I click the vid

[@Samantha-Who-Writes]

"Climax of the story-" The way i wheezed.

[@BlakJanuary]

Oh my pet peeve in sex scenes is when the action begins and allll dialogue ends!

[@katelynharrison3779]

For everyone being weird about the man being black and aggressive with a white woman, black men can be aggressive too, aggression is not specific to race. But it does sound odd to mention it when the author did, if that’s a detail you want is to know make it more sensual, maybe something like “his brown (or dark, whichever) skin a contrast to my own”. “His black hands” is just very blunt description and kind of takes us out of the moment. But I agree with everything else!

[@dudenega1424]

I'm under 18 but I turned off my watch history, does that count?

[@HannahLeeKidder]

pick your poison

[@TimbrrWolfe]

There was probably a bit more cackling from me while watching this than there maybe should've been. Alas. Also I'm definitely gonna have to keep an eye on how much of what I write is play by play. Gotta boost that prose level for sure, that first excerpt was 👌👌 Solid video, definitely interested in a possible sensitivity reader interview.

[@patriciawilkin1258]

Not even a minute in and I’m already laughing because of her drinking coffee? What is this enchanted editing?

[@HannahLeeKidder]

trying to appeal to my gen z crowd lol

[@patriciawilkin1258]

it’s working

[@buffboo]

Your hair is amazing!

[@Doru857]

I cried during the sex scene between Guts and Casca when I read the manga Berserk (It's a very 18+ story)...and up until now, it's the best......the most powerful and emotional sex scene that I read in all of fiction that I consumed...(chapter-046-048 for the curious ones)

[@oksayer3100]

Yessss!

[@Dylan_Devine]

"Ah, I see you're a man of culture as well."

[@ExploreEmbraceExpress]

This is gold. Please make a part 2. Fantastic advice! And that story by Chris is captivating. I’m listening outside. Sure my neighbors are like 👀🍿

[@samcleaver3315]

I know I'm late, but wow! As a newbie romance writer I needed this video. I'll watch it again and follow you.

[@thejadedjester4935]

Damn, the first story. The kiss on the cheek at the end really made me think that the MC saying her name gave her a bit of shame. Almost a pity kiss for the girl who cared more about there interactions than she did. Very nice stuff.

[@sima.m]

Your dog in the background is the cutest thing❤️

[@authorzedcaster]

Your physical reactions to these examples has me CRYING 😂

[@LottePea]

14:49: That's me, trying to understand the positions in every gay fanfic I read. Every. Darn. Time.

[@HannahLeeKidder]

Gotta think it through sometimes

[@ManiaMac1613]

From sounding to rusty tromboning, the more I learn about gay sex the more questions I have

[@braydenm715]

I REALLY want to read your friends books, and this is exactly the video I was looking for, loved watching you dissect a scene and saying why it's good.

[@diegoadriandlc5273]

I loved this video: "stop it, get some help" great advice Hannah

[@mardadonn2427]

thanks , i needed this for wattpad.

[@CaboosePootis]

"If I had been in the room with these writers as they wrote their manuscripts, I would have beat the shit out of them, and maybe they would have enjoyed it." HOLY SHIT LMAO

[@fantasy9917]

I love how you say "I would have beat the shit out of them" with the kindest and innocent voice and smile without losing a beat.

[@uhm-productions.7736]

“Elevators get me like that too sometimes” 😭

[@jenniferlawrence9970]

THANKK YOU for making this. I'm writing a fanfiction right now, and the main character has sex once or twice in the first chapters of the book, before it goes on and she meets the love interest. But I'm not exactly a pro at sex, so I wasn't sure how to write it, especially being that I am writing WLW and WLM sex scenes. You're amazing for doing what others are afraid to do

[@authorEE_ESE]

Thank you for this video! As someone who does not write what she doesn't know about, its a little nutty when someone does write about it when they have no idea what is being put to the page

[@dameanvil]

- [00:42] 🤔 **Think about why it's there:** Consider the purpose of including a sex scene in your story. It should serve the plot or character development, not just be included for the sake of it. - [01:31] 🧠 **Know what you're talking about:** Conduct research on the mechanics and dynamics of the type of sex you're writing about, especially if it's outside your own experience. - [02:20] 💑 **Make it character-centric:** Ensure that your sex scene reflects the personalities and motivations of your characters, rather than being generic or interchangeable. - [09:07] 🎭 **Pay attention to tone:** The tone of your sex scene should align with the emotions and intentions of your characters, reflecting their desires and relationships. - [10:03] 📝 **Don't focus on the play-by-play:** Instead of detailing every physical movement, focus on meaningful details that convey the emotional and psychological aspects of the scene. - [15:40] 🖋 **Choose words carefully:** Use language that fits your style and tone, and consider the implications of specific word choices to avoid unintended connotations.

[@kelseybisset88]

Ok, but I need you to read more sex scenes 💀 This is hilarious

[@theweyrd]

This is very helpful, thank you!

[@blu4014]

*Engulfed*

[@HannahLeeKidder]

hyenGOULhfed

[@grife3000]

13:02 BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!. elevators do it for me too.

[@BlackMasterJoe89]

I was scrolling on your Patreon page one day and saw that you did a video on sex scenes and I got so happy that you were covering it! Because I love reading and writing erotica. Thank you for this! And yeah, I was wondering how you felt about your book having the same title as a famous erotica book haha

[@HannahLeeKidder]

Hahaha I came up with the name, found the other one, saw the name was up for grabs anyway, and was like eh

[@torger7324]

Love your humor!

[@starlitbri]

Everytime you said Morgan, I winced because that's my cousin's name

[@HannahLeeKidder]

Deepest apologies.

[@wifeof7of8]

This was so helpful. Thanks

[@Romdryl]

Hey Hannah, I like that you're using examples by way of explanation. I find it much more helpful that just stating, 'here is what you should/shouldn't do' and then leaving the details out. That high level of, X tips for XXX (see what I did there? ;-) doesn't give an author much to go on. Thanks again. And, well done for such a saucy topic.

[@SunDevilSarah10]

I love these videos!

[@DerrekWayne]

one of the best you tube videos I have ever watched

[@angeliquegerstmann8174]

i realy love this video for information, i'd love to know if you could look over a scene i wrote. i feel like something is wrong with it but cant figure out what is wrong.

[@stephenking1218]

This is my first video in your catalog I've watched. Will watch more. Thanks for the reaction to the sex scenes; that is very useful. The tips are good as well, especially the warning about assaulty scenes. What I'd suggest, though, is that you make your reactions a little easier to read. Sometimes it's difficult to tell from your physical reaction whether you like what you're reading or not.

[@picklethepirate]

"Elevators get me like that too, sometimes" Classic. I laughed hard!

[@plugjr5285]

This is very useful, I’m writing a story about a zombie utopia and I needed to know how to write a scene like this.

[@kimaya4503]

"did she piss herself" 😂😂😂😂

[@veraaguayo9214]

Hi! just wanted to say, never met someone like you, you're kinda dazzling. Great work

[@kimaya4503]

STRONG BLACK HANDS-

[@noriakikakyoin8478]

By any chance have you got a video about rape scenes? I've been struggling with one for some time. My main character has deep mental issues without being fully aware of it. In the climax of the story, after feeling in a position of inferiority with his partner for a long time, he ends up trying to force himself on him when his boyfriend tells him to stop. The raping is not entirely perpetuated, but I still thought it would be useful to have some advice on the topic.

[@mikelsmith6803]

That first scene... Wow. That scene told us a story by telling us how they fucked. That is skill. I mean, I thought I knew what I was doing. But boy oh boy. I felt like after finishing escalating a mountain there is anotherone twice as high infront of me to get to that author's lvl.

[@nickkimball9751]

This is a great video and very helpful! There are a lot of sex positive characters in my book currently and it's been riding the line between smut and "classy smut" as my wife has dubbed it lol.

[@monkeysocks3786]

my charaters last met when they were nine and then found themselves in a gala as adults and i cant really wait to write that scene but i need to relax because i dont want to speed things up and make the whole book boring exept the hotttt scenes

[@1peantbutter]

1) i was laughing so fucking hard during the reading portions of this video, the little commentary is so fucking funny 2) the recommendations on this video are fucking WILD

[@Met9171]

I'm just here for her

[@dearcupid_]

thank GOD Hannah

[@abigailvires]

you reacting the bad erotica was the highlight of my day

[@Gonzolicious]

"Today we're talking about sex scenes". *Queue Lets Get It On by Marvin Gaye*

[@Vidyut_Gore]

For me the weirdest thing about strong black hands was that they appeared very late in the story - no one appeared to have noticed skin color before. Unless he had transplanted hands (which is a possibility in fiction) black would have been noticed waaaay before if relevant. Like even if fetish... sexual politics/kink of it apart, see black guy, anticipate... something would be noticed before things escalated to the point where they are first mentioned.

[@thevintagepoet]

This is helpful

[@patricewhite175]

i cringed the entire time you read the second scene. It was just so....ugh.....uncomfortable. I couldn't decide if we need to call the cops (for assault) or a psychologist (for PTSD) LMAO

[@dimman77]

That second example... Wow Was it chosen specifically for contrast? The first example was really amazing as it's... actually telling a story. It contextualizes the relationship dynamics, identity even. The second one is just super, super, super generic.

[@c3n7urion89]

You look lovely in this video, your hair

[@idongesitusen5764]

I’m learning a lot here. Simple who cjhoice & pacing can make seed a lot of things- sweet or gross, romanhtic to business like.

[@mikebt-74]

So, basically, the moral of this video is: Keep it short, keep it spicy, keep it romantic, pick your words carefully and the actions of your characters.

[@coffeecreateconnect]

Um, ya I would love to know if Chris ever finished/published that story 🙌

[@KailorAurelius]

I am on it @.@

[@HannahLeeKidder]

yes!! please!! I want to,,,read more!

[@KassieFox]

I like ur shirt

[@HannahLeeKidder]

🥰🥰🥰

[@hugozaanen7587]

hannah kee lidder - after dark - in the afternoon.

[@ZenitaDee]

Oh wow.

[@HannahLeeKidder]

sorrysorrysorry

[@rahulchaudhary6740]

While we are on the subject, you guys know any good therapist?

[@Tacobellcramps]

I enjoyed the video but I was hoping you’d give more examples of what words to use instead of losing ones you don’t like, which I don’t like some of them as well, but what would you suggest? Also the last part is kind of hurtful. I get clear consent is important and should be more normalized in media, but it feels like you’re suggesting people who write dubcon and enjoy it are terrible people, when I grew up being abused sexually nearly every day by my stepdad, and dubcon was What really allowed me to explore my sexuality in a safe way and heal from my trauma. I don’t seek it out as much, but if I didn’t have those kinds of stories, I might still be afraid of sex out even talking about it. I’ve already heard people tell me I deserved and probably enjoyed my abuse starting at 5 because of my kink. I know you probably didn’t intend for it to come off that way, but it did. Though, more and more people are telling me that since dubcon and other fictional content like it is being demonized, so I get I should just kind of get used it out.

[@stebbigunn7690]

currently, i am writing thrillers, instead of showing the sex seens, i show everything leading up to it, allowing the reader to imagine what happens behind closed doors.

[@user-qo2yk6ij9j]

As a new erotica author, I found you video extremely informative. It helped immensely in learning how to build my stories. I have only watched one, but I plan to indulge myself in your other vids.

[@kellyb.johnson5300]

Lol. Wow! Nice. Appreciate the tips and analysis.

[@nidhulek]

Is it ok to describe the foreplay more than the actual sex?

[@chelseawritesbooks8763]

This was one of the best how to write sex seen videos I have seen on KZbin.

[@ryanhowell4492]

I'll use it as advance

[@martybadin6127]

2:16 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA, I am just peeing myself...!

[@Tacobellcramps]

14:30 why do you say it like that? I’ve never heard the word engulf and think about it sounding anything like giving someone the gawk 😭🤣

[@verigumetin4291]

because it's not a critique, it's her personal opinion. Maybe she thinks it's a critique though.

[@Superawesomevids549]

As someone trying to dip my toes into erotic fiction, this was super helpful. Straight up, just listening to the reading of that first story really opened my eyes to how blunt I'm being in my own work. Gonna go have to read more of other people's stuff... for research you know.

[@HannahLeeKidder]

Glad it helped! I'm making an updated video soon, so let me know if you have any specific questions or topics you'd like me to hit. ^_^

[@gagewood6364]

What happened to Deranged Camaraderie

[@HannahLeeKidder]

It's been 15 years, my dude

[@CRUELLANDER]

I think I’ve been successful with writing more romantic, sentimental, Sensual, emotional scenes with imagery, and personification with my 2 short stories “no they aren’t erotica” named “He Loves His Ladies Blonde” which is a Sci-fi, Romantic, Drama, Comedy, Musical. And my latest one I just finished “Monarch Brunette of the Institute”. And I’m planning on publishing them shortly. I’ve been curious as a 17 year old guy, to writing Erotica, I believe I could do it but I wouldn’t want to make it like Porn or make it feel like Porn, I would want to make it more Intimate, Sentimental, Emotional, romantic, erotic, and fantastical.

[@racheltoler3895]

Women write about gay men and men write about gay women. How ironic.

[@HannahLeeKidder]

It's just Not A Good Look, all around lmao

[@yo-lab]

good video. but why the fuck is this in my recomendations? I don't write at all?! KZbin, what is your secret plan for me?

[@The_Open_Book]

Sex can be nice or gross or both lol Isn't it interesting how the description of sex is entirely dependent on the maturity of the audience. I don't think many "romance fans" really want something as beautiful and realistic as the prose you shared :(

[@jonnyhuntjonh1222]

Thank you ।। I am impressed you ।।