87 | Why Do Many People Have Low Self Worth And Tolerate Abuse?

[@xPrudence]

I always love listening to these podcasts when I have my mental health nature walks. My world and understanding of humans expands and gets bigger after each podcast! Thank you for your work !

[@themuslimnarcissistbook]

You’re welcome ♥️ glad to know x

[@annai3394]

My mom was codependent with me and she used to decide everything for me, I was feeling always dominated but I had no choice to comply. Then I ended up marrying person with narcissistic traits. I was ignoring red flags. Literally I was seeing those red flags but I couldn’t say no or stand for myself. I was never taught how to stand for myself and to have boundaries. I’ve always had soft character and I’m not an active strong super talkative person. That’s why also I was bullied in school because I couldn’t stand for myself due to me having codependent mom, and I couldn’t share my problem with my mom because she would cry, couldn’t sleep, would tell her friends and so on, so I didn’t want her to worry because she will behave inadequately…

[@yara22273]

This episode was highly necessary in recognising the causes and implications of low self esteem and self worth. It’s disheartening to see so many people suffer from this even on a subconscious level. The low self worth and esteem is also how a narcissist projects their own self image onto others leaving empaths and co dependents in a constant state of misery and shame. Another great one Dr Mona can’t wait for the Malignant Narc mother podcast ❤.

[@learngain2659]

You are real gem Dr Mona. May Allah bestow blessings upon you. Amin

[@SadiyaWasim-n7n]

Very beneficial podcast, jzk Dr Mona ❤.

[@Safestreet]

This podcast has helped me identify my co-dependant qualities. I didn't think I had any, until I listened to Dr Mona. Her podcasts are great as a form of therapy & private sessions with her are even better. Highly recommended.

[@YousefEisha]

Dr mona. I'm a codependent stuck in a horrible cycle my husband married Back home, ignores me, makes fun of me. Beats me etc. I still am so stuck to him that I have this anxious feeling when he's cold with me. I hate being a codependent and I hate that I gave him that much power to make me hate myself. I'm a beg to him and it hurts my soul. Your podcasts help me a lot.

[@shumnoor]

I was codependent too and I heal myself free from narcissist but dad made me codependent in childhood

[@learngain2659]

Please leave him forever. It's my advice. I struggled financially 4/5 years after I left my narcissist husband but nowy I am healing and now I am happy Alhamdulillah

[@sarahkhawaja9617]

Is there a podcast for single mums who have sons and absent fathers (coparents)?

[@herhidden9844]

When I learned to love my self to forgive my self wallah I felt better and that’s when I knew I should leave my abusive ex husband. I always had low self worth I always cared about ppl happiness instead of mine and when I did therepy it made me realize I should set boundaries and when I learned more about islam.

[@banandababa]

Salam Dr, I was wondering if you can make a podcast of the impact of emotionally neglectful parents. In a lot of immigrant families, parents show you they love you by putting a roof over your head, feeding you well, taking care of your education etc. but they avoid saying I love you, physical affection, words of affirmation. So this can make a child feel emotionally distant from their parents. There’s no joy to speak to them and spend time with them, it feels more like an obligation. But then you feel guilty for feeling that way as they haven’t abused you, they raised you and we know Islamically the status of the parents. How to deal with this? Is there a point telling our parents this when they are over 60 and stuck in their ways? How to undo the damage?

[@SadiyaWasim-n7n]

Yes, we need a podcast on this topic please.

[@medinamedina2986]

Djazaki Allahu ghayran dr Mona❤️❤️ you really make me laugh “IQ of a turtle” “I don’t give one flying money about it” i just love you! 😂

[@themuslimnarcissistbook]

😄😄♥️

[@discoveringclouds6198]

Really enjoying this. After breaking it off with a narccisistic fiance and my parents are narcs also. It’s exhausting to make everything about themselves and I have to stand there as witness

[@Saba61389]

In this episode you’ve described 99.9% of everyone I’ve ever come across in my life

[@Ramodest]

MashaAllah you have real deep knowledge about narcissm.

[@Rana-Abbas79]

You are an absolute legend Allahumma barik. What a woman! 😍 this podcast was soooo helpful, validating and healing! You never disappoint. You’re the only one I listen to about narcissism and disorders now because the knowledge you have is on an entirely different level Allahumma barik. You have the gift of healing people easily with your words it’s amazing 🤩 I pray Allah Almighty protects you and increases you in knowledge. We are LOVING this and the humour too 😁😁

[@themuslimnarcissistbook]

Alhamdulilah 😄♥️ glad you’re finding it helpful x

[@fndnst]

Thank you for making the time for this one, dr. Mona 😊 two weeks not listening to your podcast feels too long 😅😂

[@themuslimnarcissistbook]

I try to record as often as I can, but sometimes it’s not possible x

[@Anja_83]

Mashallah and thanks for another interesting podcast!

[@Ramodest]

Sister mona you made me laugh when you described the bad boy Abdullah with the long white socks😂.its funny and sad at the same time .Ya Allah may Allah give you all you want ❤️

[@themuslimnarcissistbook]

Someone had to say it 😄

[@SabelaMujevic]

Thanks❤ Podcast is peaceful and healing as always❤😊

[@Livingtruth2024]

Narcissists attack emotionally intelligent people because emotionally intelligent people are typically empathic, attuned to the feelings of others, and self-aware. Understanding the interplay between emotionally intelligent qualities and narcissistic tendencies at various stages in a relationship may help a person see the abusive dynamic more quickly. Stepping back from a narcissist before too much is invested is critical. Phase 1: The attraction. A narcissist is often extremely attracted to a person who is emotionally intelligent. He or she strives to get close to a person who is warm and caring. Similarly, an emotionally intelligent person is flattered by the narcissist’s attention and charm. The narcissist showers the person with compliments and validation, which the emotionally intelligent person appreciates. In fact, the narcissist is so supportive that he or she appears emotionally intelligent. This honeymoon phase usually lasts until the partner is seriously invested in the relationship. Then, things change. Phase 2: The narcissist feels small. He or she senses the emotionally intelligent mate has something powerful that he or she wants but does not know how to get. The power to connect with others on a deep level, an awareness and understanding of what others are feeling, and the capacity to sense and articulate one’s own emotions allows a person to help, heal, and maintain close and healthy relationships with others who also possess these capacities. Sensing the partner has abilities that he or she lacks creates resentment. The narcissist does not understand the power because he or she does not “speak the language” or “understand the currency,” but he or she wants it. Yet, in time, the narcissist realises it is a commodity that cannot be extrapolated from the mate and possessed, so he or she resorts to something else. The narcissist manipulates and abuses the emotionally intelligent person’s gift. He or she punishes the partner for embodying something he or she cannot extract and possess. Taking advantage of the partner's trust, time, generosity, loyalty, and empathy, he or she exploits what cannot be taken. Phase 3: The narcissist seeks to sabotage and destroy the person whom he or she is jealous of. The narcissist is internally enraged when he or she sees the emotionally intelligent partner utilizing his or her power(refer to Dr Hawkins map of consciousness you have power they are a force full of pride, guilt, grief and shame low vibrational beings who attract demons in this state); he or she tries to destroy it by framing it as a weakness. Phase 4: The narcissist disguises his or her emotional abuse by being nice. This may be the narcissist's most effective tool when camouflaging emotional abuse. Suddenly he or she is kind and complimentary, acting as though the fit of rage he or she threw an hour ago never happened. The sudden change in temperament often causes confusion in an emotionally intelligent partner who naturally recognizes the good in people. He or she wonders if the toxic tendencies were exaggerated in his or her own mind. After all, a person is allowed to have a bad day. Now, the emotionally intelligent individual feels foolish for perceiving the narcissist as mean. Someone who does such nice things cannot be a problem. Unfortunately, the nice act is usually a manipulation. A helpful way to gain clarity in this situation is to ask oneself, “Would I ever do what he or she did?” If the answer is “no,” the person may be narcissistic. Psychology Today They stole your identity and left you with theirs they love to use suggestibility (stick with facts) in relationships you have to know yourself then you will not be open to suggestibility, they leave you in their energy and steal your energy until you wake up out of the trance and begin to remember who you areand reverse all those hypnotic suggestions. Self-belief "Verily, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves." - Quran 13:11 This verse from the Quran speaks to the power of self-belief and the role it plays in shaping our lives and the world around us 1. Say: "I seek refuge with (Allah) the Lord of mankind, 2. "The King of mankind, 3. "The Ilah (God) of mankind, 4. "From the evil of the whisperer (devil who whispers evil in the hearts of men) who withdraws (from his whispering in one's heart after one remembers Allah) , 5. "Who whispers in the breasts of mankind, (suggestions) 6. "Of jinns and men (narcissists) The difference between they who remember their Lord and they who do not is as the difference between the the living and the dead. - Prophet Muhammad ﷺ [Bukhari, Muslim] Those who are conscious and those who are not And not equal are the living and the dead. Indeed, Allāh causes to hear whom He wills, but you cannot make hear those in the graves. And the living and the dead are not alike. Allah makes to hear whomsoever He wills.

[@imaanhussain5198]

Mashallah so clearly articulated Jazakallah khair for the effort in writing this all.

[@captainabez7086]

Can you please make a podcast on narc parents please? Especially narc mothers please? As well as narc siblings as flying monkeys

[@STYLOtest]

Salaam everyone to all commentators hope you are keeping well, just a good point to bring up. The doctor is perfectly correct in all instances, what I have examined from all of this is that from the root of all this are spiritual problems. If your spirituality is not corrected the rest is way off balance like your emotional, mental, physical wellbeing then fails you. That is why we need God as top and highest priority so that we may find who we are from the source of who created us as individuals Allah knows us better than we know ourselves. When you slave n submit to this in full trust from there you will know as a man or woman what his\her role is not just in marriage or relationships but in life generally to fulfill their purpose. The red pill vs blue pill is an orchestrated system of anarchy to redefine you incorrectly and its a low self eteem system. Hence both men and women should take full responsibility for every word and actions and break away from this evil system. Thank you doctor Mona this is insightful to help correct the imbalance. These are truly blessed words. Once again you delivered May Allah bless you all. Oh by the way i got 2 slits in my eye brow 😂😂 love the shot at me appreciate it 😂😂 take care guys

[@themuslimnarcissistbook]

Glad you liked it :) 2 slits? No comment 😄 in the UK lots of guys do that to look tough and aggressive and empaths avoid them.

[@STYLOtest]

@@themuslimnarcissistbook And yes empath ladies please do take the Dr's advice she is definitely not wrong here. And to our beloved Dr Mona no offense at all taken form your statement regarding the split eyebrow style, I value the constructive criticism. Mind you I have to comment on the spider thing too lol, I am terrified of them however I will not allow it to harm\terrorise my loved ones hence I will face it to get rid of it. The thing is spiders are quite narcissistic themselves and are professional & highly skilled biters ok :-) you cannot box with them or be diplomatic with them, but my fear stems from the great respect I have for them under the 2 jihad experiences with the 2 spiders thus it has to go lol. This was a good laugh though but yes doctor there are physical red flags too provided by Allah as a blessing to all you ladies of so called real men who put on a facade to act like something they are not unfortunately i.e. tough etc. it's there to help spot the not instead of finding out the more dangerous way Alghumdoelillah, May Allah S.W.T. protect you all Ameen

[@STYLOtest]

😊😊😊😊😉

[@themuslimnarcissistbook]

@@STYLOtest 😂😂😂 the part about the narc spiders 🤣🤣🤣

[@mohammeds46]

Idk if its a narc who gives a whole traumatic experience and the next day becomes so close that as if nothing happened like literally leaving confused that what they are upto

[@sanamohammed5244]

Can you make a podcast on how a single codependent mother can take care of her daughter who has covert narcsistic father and how to treat her daughter and what to do for her good upbringing as an independent empathetic woman, and also how to recognise from toddler stage weather the child is toxic codependent, codependent or narcisst. I am always confused how to treat my daughter. She is only one year old and I am not able to understand what kind of expression should I give for her good and bad behaviour and how I should treat her that she doesn't become like me codependent not like her father covert narcsist

[@MissLoca901]

This would be very helpful. I am in the same situation with a 2 year old daughter, finally got rid of the narcissist husband.. stay strong sis. Allah swt will make ways for us that we cant even imagine. Have tawakkul❤️🤲🏻

[@fikayasin2274]

This is what happened to me. I was a single mom who struggled with parenting my two children and then out of nowhere a charming young man offered himself as my savior with his very articulated manners. But then he turned out to be a pedophile who married to me to gain the free access to my eldest daughter from the previous failed marriage.

[@KandR101]

I had been meaning to ask - if someone is a co-dependant( it is clear as day) within a one type of relationship, for example with their spouse but an emapth( according to the definition described in many podcasts)with their children. What actually is going in their head and how does that work for them to have many different traits ? It just further confuses their lives and people around them and they do not even know what kind of help they need or would not admit to exactly what it is .

[@imaanhanif8863]

would you recommend someone who has a child outside marriage to say to potential suitors that their child is from a divorce instead of the truth. If so when should this be revealed. Also if someone is divorced from a short marriage that has no children can they relay as if they ar enot divorced to future potential suitors or should all info be truthful and upfront.

[@themuslimnarcissistbook]

If it was me on the receiving end, I’d prefer to know about the situation of the child. In regards to the marriage, honesty would be the best policy if they ask, otherwise there is no need if you know it won’t affect them and their life. Sometimes if important information is hidden (like about the child) and they find out later that you lied, it could cause them to not trust you at all and be paranoid about everything you say. It can result in the break down of a relationship. If someone is an empath they won’t judge you for being honest about something considered to be important, but you need to be prepared that they may walk away and not marry you (which is OK - it just means they’re not your person).

[@STYLOtest]

Salaam, I agree with Dr. Mona. There is a simple saying that the truth sets you free, Truth hurts sometimes but with an empathetic person they will not judge you at all, they love kids all of of them in any case heck an empath will easily adopt children who are not theirs, meanwhile yes I encourage you to tell the truth up front and I would highly respect you for doing so too. All the best and good fortunes to you😊

[@sarahkhawaja9617]

I was indeed fried chicken in a burger bun.

[@Ramodest]

I actually like the nice empathetic man .iam not sure if iam codependent or low empath. What does that mean .

[@themuslimnarcissistbook]

You’ll be more empath

[@RiiriiStar]

❤

[@sarahkhawaja9617]

Can a narc manchild end up marrying a ugly new supply? She was super low in terms of she tolerated alot of abuse to happen in previous marriage.

[@themuslimnarcissistbook]

It’s rare, but possible if he’s desperate for support