9 Reasons Why People Drink Again after joining Alcoholics Anonymous

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Boston Jon

Boston Jon

Күн бұрын

9 Reasons Why People Drink Again in AA. The first 8 are clearly mentioned in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. The last one was thrown in there based on another reason often shared about in the rooms.

Пікірлер: 116
@marycrowley1442
@marycrowley1442 Жыл бұрын
I am on a totally different page than you. Many self medicate with alcohol and drugs for relief of pain from childhood trauma resulting from abuse and neglect. They did not want to be abused children and they don’t owe amends. They need trauma recovery which sometimes includes prescription medication and ending toxic relationships. Substances took the place of love. If someone believes they drank and drugged because they are a terrible person, they need to only speak for themselves but not impose it on others.
@mandyharrison3799
@mandyharrison3799 Жыл бұрын
Absolutely agree! I had an abusive childhood and binge drank to numb the pain. AA is not for everyone.
@stubdo16
@stubdo16 Жыл бұрын
I agree, but I believe the AA book/program (maybe not all the people in it though) is much more enlightened than the impression you have. Nothing in AA says we are alcoholics because we are terrible people. It does suggest that we may have had some emotional or mental twist in our past that has set us down a certain path. AA is basically saying that we don't have to go down that destructive path despite our past, but can live without being imprisoned by our pasts, and have a good life
@stubdo16
@stubdo16 Жыл бұрын
​@@mandyharrison3799i hope your view might change - my understanding of AA big book and Twelve Steps Twelve Traditions is that, for whatever reason (quite possibly a mental or emotional twist from our childhood) people can end up going down a certain path (for self preservation) that ends up being destructive to ourselves. My understanding is that it is understandable that we ended up where we did end up, and that we can actually change path to a healthy life without being wracked by the pain from our past. You have to assess this yourself.... You don't let someone in AA tell you what you should or shouldn't do .... The actual program makes it very clear that you should carefully choose who you confide in, and that you have to follow your innermost guidance/higher power/conscience/whatever. You don't let an AA stranger tell you. Read it all for yourself. People in AA are only people, and some will be prone to tell you something you can actually read for yourself, and no-one can tell you what your own intuition is when you get in touch with it. That's my view after 25 yrs sober in AA.
@papertiger9845
@papertiger9845 Жыл бұрын
@@stubdo16one of the best things I learned in AA in the short months I was going was the idea of abstinence and having resentments and working on them. Besides that, I dont need to spend money on gas every day and tell some person I hardly know all my secrets. Cut people out that are toxic, show yourself you can have discipline, work on the guilt or shame you have internally or with q therapist, whichever, you dont need a god for any of those. And you can still be a Good person living a sober life.
@jeanieologist4456
@jeanieologist4456 Жыл бұрын
I know many people who have had the best childhood and are alcoholics and many people including myself who had terrible childhoods and chose the opposite I think you are giving people excuses including yourself to keep hurting yourself and others
@jackhalloween7373
@jackhalloween7373 Жыл бұрын
In We Agnostics it says: "If we wanted to grow, we had to begin somewhere." Lots of folk only want the hurt to go away. They didn't come here to grow. This is similar to but not exactly the same as your #8. They disappear. The Spirit of AA has given me 15000+ days & nights sober. I'm grateful. Your film was good.
@bulletproofair
@bulletproofair 4 ай бұрын
How old are you, if you don't mind me asking? 15k days is over 41 years. So I imagine you're at 60 if you've been sober since you were 19.😂. And I'm sure you didn't stop at 19. Let's say you got sober at 29. That would make you 70 years old. Is that about right?
@jackhalloween7373
@jackhalloween7373 4 ай бұрын
@@bulletproofair I went to my first meeting and get my only desire chip when I was 31 years and 27 days old. The Spirit of AA welcomed me and said keep coming back. The Spirit of the Universe and the Spirit of Nature gave comfort and hope at the end.
@jimmccormick6091
@jimmccormick6091 Жыл бұрын
when I got sober, I will be plain. I stayed sober on FEAR. Fear of drinking, fear of going back, fear of getting caught, fear of alcohol. (Fear played a huge part in my life- go figure!) My sponsor, who is much, much smarter than me, once told me something taht was the kick in the pants I needed to get going on the steps.... "Even the greatesest coward can overcome their fears... what will you rely upon then?" The steps, the fellowship, and the big book, have helped me stay sober for just over 17 years so far.
@EricPrice-eu2ym
@EricPrice-eu2ym Жыл бұрын
I am so grateful for the AA program it saved my life!! It works if you work it half measures availe us nothing!! It takes alot of work and self sacrifice! I try and give back what was so freely given to me. I'm so grateful for good sponsorship and the big book that loves me enough to tell me the truth!!
@lion5452
@lion5452 9 ай бұрын
So What would 3/4 measures avail us ?
@lifeafteralcoholism
@lifeafteralcoholism Жыл бұрын
This is a powerful video. Complacency is the enemy. Love this work.
@David-py4bo
@David-py4bo Жыл бұрын
Im in the CA fellowship have amazing sponser whis took me through my 12 steps i give service i do three meetings a week i do as suggested and ill be 6 months clean and sober end of this month. Ive came ti belive in a power greater then my self though doing the work having unity and giving service doing my prayers doing meditation daily ive now connected to my higher power whice i cane to belive in god and its a blessing im not dead through my addiction. Hope faith and courage. We can recover just do as suggested simple as that god bless you all 🙏😇
@patricklena9062
@patricklena9062 3 ай бұрын
Biggest problem for me was not adopting a sponsor who are utilizing anybody's suggestions. I stayed sober for long stretches of time but I was the same raving lunatic. I was when I walked through that door it wasn't until I surrendered, started, the steps took a look at myself that I was able to attain humility and clear eyes at my own behavior it allowed me to correct behaviors and become of service to others
@EricPrice-eu2ym
@EricPrice-eu2ym Жыл бұрын
On page24 it states that we don't have a choice if we will drink again. All we have is a daily reprieve on the contingency on our spiritual maintenance?
@lion5452
@lion5452 9 ай бұрын
It is a choice if u pick up again after being sober .
@JohnMackay-kn3rl
@JohnMackay-kn3rl 5 ай бұрын
People relapse because they don't really want sobriety. AA is a fellowship of friends not a magical cure.
@mandyharrison3799
@mandyharrison3799 Жыл бұрын
Tried AA for only 2 sessions. Thoroughly depressing and not a bit helpful. I liked to drink wine on the weekend but comparatively don't consider myself an alcoholic. 67 days without alcohol. The only trigger for me is a sunny day and that is when i enjoy wine in the sun. I will be ok if the sun dont shine🤣 good luck to all trying to break any addiction.
@evansnick81
@evansnick81 Жыл бұрын
If your not alcoholic, why did you go to AA
@mandyharrison3799
@mandyharrison3799 Жыл бұрын
@@evansnick81 because I thought it would help with my weekend binge drinking. I found it depressing and unhelpful for me. I decided I could better deal with what I consider to be an issue, alone. Glad to report things are currently under control.
@EricPrice-eu2ym
@EricPrice-eu2ym Жыл бұрын
AA is for real alcoholics not for weekend drinker's. Real alcoholic's never can control their drinking! Once they take one drink the they crave another and can't stop till they are locked up or covered up!
@ronvalley1973
@ronvalley1973 Жыл бұрын
Look up triggers for alcohol is all I can see might make the sun shine on a different part of your wantings, peace!🎉
@davemccall1134
@davemccall1134 Жыл бұрын
Eight years ago I quit drinking and felt that using any resources available would help me to stay sober. That's when I thought of AA. I've used AA as a conduit to sobriety but not a means to an end. Although I've found that AA was useful I couldn't quantify to what degree. I found that were several tenants and ideologies of AA that I didn't agree with. One was that alcoholism is a of and not an addiction that will eventually lead to mental health and physical issues. This appeared as a no fault excuse for the bad choices I had made or even leading to relapsing. AA was the only means of staying sober and with out following all "suggestions " you were doomed to fail. It's imperative that I had to find a plan that worked for me and work that plan
@DAClub-uf3br
@DAClub-uf3br Жыл бұрын
I quit AA after 2 years because it did not help me with the underlying problem that caused me to drink. It had nothing to do with spirituality. That and the promises never came true.
@evansnick81
@evansnick81 Жыл бұрын
It clearly states.. sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly... They always materialise if we work for them. Clearly you weren't prepared to work or wait for them. Sorry you could not see it
@lion5452
@lion5452 9 ай бұрын
So did you figure out the underlying reasons u drink ?
@adamy3834
@adamy3834 4 ай бұрын
I hear you and agree
@diegoalvarado916
@diegoalvarado916 4 ай бұрын
@@evansnick81imagine a drunk standing on his high horse looking down. Thanks for proving his point
@evansnick81
@evansnick81 4 ай бұрын
@@diegoalvarado916 your welcome
@Mike-tw4jf
@Mike-tw4jf Жыл бұрын
Being of service to others is strongly emphasized and turns out to be most rewarding. Get a sponsor who knows the Steps, that's a big plus. Stick to the Big Book. Many seem to think just going to meetings alone is enough. Keep the primary purpose the primary purpose. Who you choose to consistently fellowship with WILL rub off on you so choose wisely. Peace.
@steveelam2310
@steveelam2310 Жыл бұрын
It's the repetitive nature at meetings readings at beginning over n over,i know thats for beginners because thats who its for first,hopefully my clean n sober path involves a life style change not just meetings,I still go but space it out because of burn out
@nancyk880
@nancyk880 Жыл бұрын
Watching this as a person in gambling recovery. Almost 16 years. Thanks for sharing the truth. 💪🏻💪🏻
@pauls5096
@pauls5096 Жыл бұрын
Who wouldn't drink again after joining a group made up of some of the most depressing people on the planet? Who wouldn't drink after all the self-loathing and constantly telling yourself you are powerless? Who wouldn't drink again when your life now revolves solely on your problem...surrounded with constant reminders of the problem...viewing every aspect of your life through the prism of alcoholism? Bullsh!t. You have all the power and you don't need a cult to get sober.
@kwAnthony
@kwAnthony Жыл бұрын
I'm surprised you don't have a bunch of comments attacking you for saying this.. I agree and I want to add the fact that some random stranger listens to your 4th step and tells you that it's your fault. Or shares your 5th step with everyone else. I left that place after 6 months- I'm sober and much happier now. They say "dry" and you can't be sober without them and I'll die one day drunk. Every one of them turned on me when I quit the program. No one in there was a true friend.
@johnpyles3575
@johnpyles3575 Жыл бұрын
@@kwAnthony Dry drunk is the BEST thing. It's life without the nasty effects of alcohol or having to do all those nasty meetings/steps.
@mandyharrison3799
@mandyharrison3799 Жыл бұрын
Well said! AA is a very depressing place and pushes religion too. Tried two sessions definitely not for me.
@pauls5096
@pauls5096 Жыл бұрын
@@kwAnthony I knew I was never going to get a sponsor and/or tell the most intimate details of my life to some jerk wagon I met in a church basement. I never got too close to anyone. No phone numbers, no interactions outside of the meetings. I'm sober and I'm happy.
@evansnick81
@evansnick81 Жыл бұрын
​@mandyharrison3799 it pushes nothing. Two meetings and you fuckin know it all.. let us know how you get on in life
@rundix3351
@rundix3351 11 ай бұрын
I see you drank all the AA cool - aid.
@leonardrobidoux1644
@leonardrobidoux1644 8 ай бұрын
Iam sorry you had to have made such a negative comment. May your higher power help you for more humility.
@rundix3351
@rundix3351 8 ай бұрын
@@leonardrobidoux1644TRUTH is what matters
@kennithminnich
@kennithminnich Жыл бұрын
All great points. I found one of the biggest reasons for relapse is they stopped going to meetings. Ive seen that many times. Ten years of sobriety here...
@michaelheary2754
@michaelheary2754 11 ай бұрын
No distinction between the “real alcoholic “ and the hard drinker made in this. That’s sorta important. Relapse is preceded by the return of self will. Period.
@williambentley2802
@williambentley2802 Жыл бұрын
Great stuff Jon thanks
@waynelscheurer5453
@waynelscheurer5453 Жыл бұрын
I feel like the fellowship is what kills people. So what you drink or smoke pot again, did you hurt anyone. Did you self destruct. Aa will help you become self aware, but part of my self awareness also involved becoming aware of the way AA harmed my mental health. Counting days causes you to self destruct after drinking because you mess up your self image. Aa causes people to self prophecy their own demise. I was able to process my intense childhood traumas and let go and grow, now I don't need to chase drugs and alcohol. Meds help with all the damage done by drugs, but the last thing people in AA want to see is someone being able to live again lives they tell themselves they can't. I resent the system that forced me to go at such an early age. Aa is filled with narcissist and sexual deviants who take advantage of people in vulnerable situations. There's a reason people who relapse in AA completely self destruct while others get right back on the horse. The fellowship is dangerous, you don't have a disease, there's a deeper reason you drink too much. I still implement the steps and take what can help, but I honestly don't know that I can push this doctrine or introduce people to this thing. Just doesn't feel right.
@ianquartley3195
@ianquartley3195 Жыл бұрын
It’s a shame that you feel that way and had some bad experiences, but for 2 million people world wide is keeping them sober, i wish love and peace x
@ronvalley1973
@ronvalley1973 Жыл бұрын
It is called..."problem drinker", they have to research their problem instead of drowning it in alcohol, cause we know, the problem is still there when the booze wears off. Peace!
@ianquartley3195
@ianquartley3195 Жыл бұрын
@@ronvalley1973 thanks for reply. To understand people that have a problem with alcoholism only a alcoholic will truly understand. It's not just our drinking is the problem it's our thinking that is the real problem. It's a centered in the mind. Thanks again have a blessed day x
@ronvalley1973
@ronvalley1973 Жыл бұрын
@@ianquartley3195 Hi and I actually know what you are saying. Craig beck the stop drinking expert on youtube says we are problem drinker mostly but some need professional help to quit. His latest video is truly sad when he read a letter from a viewer who was diagnosed with end stage liver disease from ungodly amounts of alcohol use, which to me, is beyone a problem drinker. Peace!
@ianquartley3195
@ianquartley3195 Жыл бұрын
@@ronvalley1973 I have not watched his video on KZbin but I would ask the question was or is a real alcoholic there's a massive difference between a problem drinker and a alcoholic. Take for example that person who having there stomach pumped out and being told that if they don't stop it will kill them go on till the death. I believe as I'm a alcoholic nearly 5 years sober from drink and drugs it's a spiritual program and doing my resentments that keeps me sober. Which I have been given freely from another alcoholic in AA. I really don't know if this guy charges for books or meetings. At the end of the day if people are stopping drinking in what he is teaching then fair play. But I'm the type of alcoholic that will want to drink if I don't follow a program and get to meetings. And have a God of my understanding.. I would ask you one thing and as I say I really don't know. But why do so many celebrities go into AA. Have a watch of Russell Brand pod cast with Steven Bartlett really gives a real understanding of alcoholism and what AA has given him... Have a great week my friend and wish you well.
@Fredtarbosso
@Fredtarbosso 9 ай бұрын
OMG this makes me cringe I've seen more drunks and relapsers at AA meetings the reason i quit going and still sober
@manunited1132
@manunited1132 9 ай бұрын
It doesn't help especially when there's allways a weatherspoons right next to the AA mettings. I've been on these AA mettings all myife and from my own personal opinion those courses drain the shit out of me so it's straight in the pub after lol 😂🤣
@DavidDrummond-nh7qx
@DavidDrummond-nh7qx Жыл бұрын
You are worth more than your past
@glenteavictor7822
@glenteavictor7822 Жыл бұрын
The only sobriety I care about is my own. I don't give a shit what other people do.
@ronvalley1973
@ronvalley1973 Жыл бұрын
Right, they don't pay our bills, but is is nice of offer some type of suggestions I'd think. Peace!
@EricPrice-eu2ym
@EricPrice-eu2ym 10 ай бұрын
As ex problem drinkers our lives depends on the constant thought of others
@EricPrice-eu2ym
@EricPrice-eu2ym 10 ай бұрын
You have to give it away to keep it! I love to help others work the steps, so maybe they will have a spiritual awakening and the peace of mind and happiness they have!
@lourdesecheverria6209
@lourdesecheverria6209 8 ай бұрын
REASON NO. 1 DISHONESTY (Read chapter 4 do your inventory and be HONEST!!!!!)
@raymondlin8728
@raymondlin8728 3 ай бұрын
I don't drink anymore I also don't drive. Have a job, exercise. Have a tv, or any stimuli, nor motivation. I just stay in bed all day. But at least I'm not drinking
@bryanfinkell9022
@bryanfinkell9022 5 ай бұрын
I like that work shop. What do you do ?
@alexramsay9781
@alexramsay9781 Жыл бұрын
There's nothing wrong with being resentful, sad, lonely, or happy. Most of them want revenge if they've had their feelings hurt. Utter nonsense as per usual
@beoz658
@beoz658 Жыл бұрын
One reason people leave aa and drink again in the 21st century we know for a fact the first 164 pages are outdated. No god is needed in recovery. That drives so many people out of the rooms. Mental illness and depression also are a big reason people relapse.
@ianquartley3195
@ianquartley3195 Жыл бұрын
That’s the reason why people are not staying sober because they are not following the big book, it’s god of my understanding. For me it’s a spiritual and a loving God. And doing written infantry. And I agree with the metal illness. Thanks for your post x
@lazmotron
@lazmotron 10 ай бұрын
Great channel
@Plan-C
@Plan-C 9 ай бұрын
10) Sadiq Khan. 'Mayor' of London.
@j2626-u2g
@j2626-u2g 8 ай бұрын
Bc of the CRAZY PEOPLE lol
@oldguyathletics
@oldguyathletics Жыл бұрын
Define what the "work"is. The "work" that a person doesn't do enough of , so that they drink. You paint the picture of a very fragile and useless human being. Thanks Guru. Have a drink on me.
@kwAnthony
@kwAnthony Жыл бұрын
I went into my first meeting with 60 days "dry".. I call it sober and shared about it, people clapped and I said thanks..then an old-timer shared after and said, "When we clap, we aren't clapping for you. We're doing it for the program". After the meeting I went up to tell him that I wasn't in the program and he said that I wasn't sober and needed to reset my sobriety date. These assholes are why so many people get resentful and in AA you can't have resentments.
@terrywinn2278
@terrywinn2278 Жыл бұрын
What you are saying is exactly correct. You could be sober three years but unless you are "puting in the work " you are just a dry drunk. I refuse to identify myself as an alcoholic but rater as a "alcohol survivor". I will not do the steps as I can not adhere to Step 1. I attend many meetings a week but a the meeting are my "insolon"' I am waiting to be totd not to come back. I also feeli that there is an experation date to all of this.@@kwAnthony
@beoz658
@beoz658 Жыл бұрын
One must remember there are many sick people in AA even many with long term recovery. @@kwAnthony
@lion5452
@lion5452 9 ай бұрын
Ya the Rooms are full of EGO driven guys especially the ones that have been there for awhile. I love AA tho it helped me get +stay sober. Very Grateful for AA
@BoabMarley
@BoabMarley 8 ай бұрын
​@kwAnthony the ignorance and narcissism of some people at meetings is off the charts. I'm glad they have these meetings though. So all crackpot cultheads can go there and leave the rest of us to enjoy sobriety in peace ✌️ 🫡
@jimcunningham9975
@jimcunningham9975 Жыл бұрын
Cult speak
@evansnick81
@evansnick81 Жыл бұрын
Cult...? Only cult I know that wants nothing from you, bar the dollar for a coffee, and your Honesty.. 20 years and I've never been forced to do anything, apart from wash up..
@ianquartley3195
@ianquartley3195 Жыл бұрын
😂😂
@TheDawnandGregShow
@TheDawnandGregShow Жыл бұрын
There is only one reason for the real alcohlic to drink again and thats that they do not follow the clear cut directions.Also please educate yourself on the traditions especially the 11th. We are not to use our names and images on a public platform. Thanks for the video
@lazmotron
@lazmotron 10 ай бұрын
Great
@kirklarson1316
@kirklarson1316 6 ай бұрын
The meetings are basically church for people who dont go to church.serve, fellowship etc they lack the TRUE GOD though. Christ ain't a light-bulb!
@billflynn8229
@billflynn8229 5 ай бұрын
This is nonsence............aa does not work.......
@chicksiegel1597
@chicksiegel1597 3 ай бұрын
Wow. Not one comment. What a chump.
@fredwollner
@fredwollner Жыл бұрын
Not being 100% honest
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