9 to 5 Barbarian

[@garrettcarroll5808]

"Gonna have to start assassinations on the side" I mean, I totally understand this guy. We all need side hustles nowadays to make ends meet.

[@rhyzvanic3660]

"Mornin' Grug" "Good morning Maglak the Butcher"

[@mazanakaUA]

2 small coffee breaks, an hour long one and no overtime of a 9 to 5 workday? That's the most fantastical part of this song

[@mkb7001]

used to be the norm

[@tunnelsnake420]

@@mkb7001 then those goddamn sorcerers showed up, ruined our economy

[@trappedontheinternet]

All that slaughter, and still not making ends meet? Sounds like someone needs a Union.

[@Nayhan123]

You got likes thought I'd tell you

[@satanwasframed5083]

Union fees are ridiculous and end up hurting workers more in the long run

[@wyattperry11]

@@satanwasframed5083 this is an outright lie. Would you rather slaughter on your own, or be part of a horse with a rep watching your back.

[@satanwasframed5083]

@@wyattperry11 all well and good until the horse raises it's fees so much that it hurts the worker more than it helps. Not only that, but the same party that props the union up taxes us more and more each year. I think the country could stand with a little more survival of the fittest.

[@Friend2Trolls]

@@satanwasframed5083 Survival of the fittest is all well and good, until you get moldy rations and are sent on the front line. Unions fight to make sure the common axe man gets his fair share from his lord!

[@sersmiles1635]

I guess after 10 years KZbin finally recommends me this little gem

[@seamussmyth1928]

Yey

[@the13inquisitor59]

All these Warhammer references... And here's me adding this to my DnD character ideas.

[@loganb7059]

Make it be a warlock multiclassing into barbarian. Their Patron is an interdimensional office company. Their job is barbarian. So 9-5 you act as barbarian, all other times, Warlock.

[@the13inquisitor59]

@@loganb7059 ...Yeah, yeah, I think I'll be doing that. Let's see... Pact of the Blade, sure, but what patron...?

[@danielc4071]

The13Inquisitor, I think Hexblade would make sense. Maybe the blade keeps telling your PC to kill, thereby fueling his murderous rage.

[@gemattack1442]

@@loganb7059 thx for the idea

[@saeyabor]

​@CatusBrutus I think he means other comments on here. Nothing in the song sounded like WH to me.

[@grindlnaux4460]

Please rise for the international anthem of murderhobos.

[@litterallyjustwater]

Gimmie seven dollars and ill wish you a happy halloween!

[@CarpeMetus]

No spell slots, daily, at will or utility powers to worry about.

[@autisticautomaton]

CarpeMetus just rage and weapon proficiency

[@takayamuramoto4490]

@@autisticautomaton Just become a Fighter

[@angieulaka]

Theme song for Conan the Salaryman?

[@Nayhan123]

You got likes thought I'd tell you

[@autisticautomaton]

Meanwhile in the chaos wastes

[@lightypower3412]

Ketchup for the Ketchup God! Head bones for the head-bone throne!

[@jamesstudholme3161]

The most fantastical part of this is a profit sharing plan and a 9-5 schedule.

[@paxnerdvana8287]

This song is so odd, but hilarious. I like Bill Sutton's work.

[@soportuguese354]

Lyrics: Every morning the alarm goes off and knocks me out of bed I rush to catch the bus to get to work and bash some heads My boss is screaming murder as I punch the clock at nine I grab my blade and armor and start hacking up the line I'm a nine-to-five barbarian! Don't have to do no paperwork, I'm happy as a clam Not a farmer or librarian! I'm a killer with a vengeance and a profit-sharing plan There's a coffee break at 10 o'clock, another one at three An hour off for lunch and for the doc to look at me A stop to sharpen up my knife and brush the guts away Then back into the fight to earn my dollar for the day I'm a nine-to-five barbarian! Don't have to do no paperwork, I'm happy as a clam Not a farmer or librarian! I'm a killer with a vengeance and a profit-sharing plan At 5 the whistle blows and I go home to hearth and wife I have a drink and contemplate the meaning of my life The stresses of my budget can no longer be denied I'm going to have to start assassinations on the side I'm a nine-to-five barbarian! Don't have to do no paperwork, I'm happy as a clam Not a farmer or librarian! I'm a killer with a vengeance and a profit-sharing plan

[@bruhb7611]

Just another day in Norsca.

[@avengermkii7872]

Can we appreciate that a barbarian can still have a job despite modern technology existing lol? That's some incredible job stability.

[@TheAnalatheist]

This would bring a tear to Toddy’s one eye.

[@EthanBaghi]

HE TOOK MY FUCKING EYE!!!

[@liquidpiss7368]

Khazrak One-Eye, Ben!

[@jacobwalker5128]

when you start a new run in baldurs gate with your 6 party members grog trog frog vrog wrog and log

[@masterofwar9780]

were do i get that job

[@lukebater-watson1781]

couple thousand years ago in sweden

[@mazanakaUA]

@@lukebater-watson1781 Just one thousand and two-three hundred years ago,actually...

[@songbirdsandsandwiches8217]

Military, if you don't mind using a gun rather than a sword that is.

[@kevinbijkerkkje]

at you're local gun store

[@rendedspace5606]

Lvl 14 bardbarian

[@plantlord3266]

does great songs-funny and serious-Brenda is amazing musician as well..met them several times at conventions and shared beers etc at filk circle..

[@bridgetrobertson9064]

Great song

[@Siptom369]

I really like Bill Sutton

[@josegonzales9169]

Every morning the alarm goes off and knocks me out of bed I rush to catch the bus to get to work and bash some heads My boss is screaming murder as I punch the clock at nine I grab my blade and armor and start hacking up the line I'm a nine-to-five barbarian! Don't have to do no paperwork, I'm happy as a clam Not a farmer or librarian! I'm a killer with a vengeance and a profit-sharing plan There's a coffee break at 10 o'clock, another one at three An hour off for and lunch and for the doc to look at me A stop to sharpen up my knife and brush the guts away Then back into the fight to earn my dollar for the day I'm a nine-to-five barbarian! Don't have to do no paperwork, I'm happy as a clam Not a farmer or librarian! I'm a killer with a vengeance and a profit-sharing plan At 5 the whistle blows and I go home to hearth and wife I have a drink and contemplate the meaning of my life The stresses of my budget can no longer be denied I'm going to have to start assassinations on the side I'm a nine-to-five barbarian! Don't have to do no paperwork, I'm happy as a clam Not a farmer or librarian! I'm a killer with a vengeance and a profit-sharing plan

[@zafyrus4241]

Thank you my dude

[@joshuazarate9780]

Human Variant Ranger 4/Barbarian 6 build. Commando killer, strike first, and bury your enemies face down with bent swords. The rest of the party will make 9 to 5 a reality, just stay half in the bag to sate your lusts and go megaton at the drop of a hat. Engage the maximum amount of targets, with the maximum amount of steel, in the shortest amount of time and your fluffy party will love you.

[@bearcatben4762]

Those damned romans

[@zincwing4475]

Each office needs a barbarian.

[@goorahdemi9621]

Is it profit sharing plan or profit sharing clan?

[@mrflyingcow5423]

Plan I'm pretty sure

[@TheAnalatheist]

It’s Clan.

[@mosesen5608]

its plan

[@mattiasjohannorglaan2967]

It's both?

[@m4sherman926]

Pclan

[@newportbot7709]

Looks like someone read soldier of fortune.

[@papanurgle8393]

Berzerker Barbarian all the way.

[@genesisreaper2113]

incredibly catchy

[@lilywashere27]

Lyrics for convenience's sake Every morning the alarm goes off and knocks me out of bed. I rush to catch the bus to get to work and bash some heads. My boss is screaming murder as I punch the clock at nine. I grab my blade and armor and start hacking up the line. CHORUS: I'm a nine-to-five barbarian. Don't have to do no paperwork, I'm happy as a clam. Not a farmer or librarian, I'm a killer with a vengeance and a profit-sharing plan. There's a coffee break at ten o'clock, another one at three, An hour off for lunch and for the doc to look at me. A stop to sharpen up my knife and brush the guts away, Then back into the fight to earn my dollar for the day. CHORUS: I'm a nine-to-five barbarian. Don't have to do no paperwork, I'm happy as a clam. Not a farmer or librarian, I'm a killer with a vengeance and a profit-sharing plan. At five the whistle blows and I go home to hearth and wife. I have a drink and contemplate the meaning of my life. The stresses of my budget can no longer be denied: I'm gonna have to start assassinations on the side! CHORUS: I'm a nine-to-five barbarian. Don't have to do no paperwork, I'm happy as a clam. Not a farmer or librarian, I'm a killer with a vengeance and a profit-sharing plan.

[@whatewer23]

This sounds like something from Terry Pratchet books.

[@kaigao4842]

It totally does! The barbarian guild isn't in any books unfortunately.

[@Fartsmellahashsella]

wasn't this just being a Viking? (except a lot of them were actually farmers)

[@alexbertil2756]

Viking is a part time job. They raided when supplies where low

[@janehrahan5116]

Actually it's the opposite. The raids were for luxuries. They needed high supplies to fill the longships.

[@joapercan6887]

Technically most vikings were vikings. Because viking had the meaning of someone that raided places. People from Scandinavia were mostly farmers

[@Fartsmellahashsella]

@@joapercan6887 I meant viking as a profession. What I was trying to say was that people who went viking had other livelyhoods, and going viking was a hobby rather than a 9-5

[@r.connor9280]

European History in a nutshell

[@nicolinrucker5181]

9-5 Barbarian... he's totally a gold farmer lol.

[@raumnika5304]

Plot Twist: The "assasinations on the side" are his wife

[@rayanderson5797]

Well that's what happens when you settle down with the half-elf rogue. She might not cheat on you, but she's sure as hell addicted to cutting throats.

[@sweaterketchup2730]

waaaaagh

[@FlamingManofIron]

cute

[@albinprivat6774]

I think the word your looking for is Viking

[@supermansdaddy7019]

Shadowrun.txt

[@zachp2034]

Average d&d party

[@cookiemonseter5377]

This is CHAZ's national anthem

[@alexbertil2756]

Nope, They dont work for their money. "Pls gib soy products and underwear"

[@ariannaaroche8482]

Why? Just why?

[@2300DY]

Why not?

[@jaypea30]

9 to 5 boi

[@tzoulianoxo750]

say, dont you like quality?

[@RVR121]

Sadly we all need a job for food.

[@stormjet814]

Because it is the emperors will

[@Utubeisok]

1:16

[@Utubeisok]

1:16 i am not filling out any application, clowns in America