A Conversation with

[@Barbaracoyle]

Our son was let Go in May. He was on every machine and couldn't even feel anything. He was suffering and in a lot of pain. Our son of 39 talk about if his condition was all machine, he didn't want to live this way. He also had a DNR in place. His dr. said he was 39 years old but a body of 80-year-old. We made celebrated of life on May 5 and call family to be there if they want to. Well John always has a mind of his own and was suffering, in pain and shouldn't breathe and so the nurses started the process of taking him off everything and medicine to make him comfortable. As of a mom I feel joy and peace to know that our son wouldn't be in pain and suffering and no more judgement. Be at peace. we were explaining the whole process of him dyeing. Yes, I miss him but letting Go and letting God, I love him enough to let go. Yes, I have sad days, but his life was a wonderful life and will always love him.

[@barblucchesi9527]

How wonderful, you have such a strong connection with GOD, my condolences as well 🤲🙌✝️🙏🏻❤️

[@jennifervila6465]

I am from Australia. My mother was in nursing home briefly..very lucid. We would chat for hours. One day in mid conversation she calmly pointed to a corner of the room & said look at the angel..then resumed talking.❣

[@mkmcu66]

Hi there....from Missouri. I put my husband on Hospice towards the end when he was dying from Lewy-Body dementia. Hospice was wonderful. They helped him greatly & helped me. Now My mom who is in end stage Alzheimers, will go on Hospice soon. I'm a big advocate for Hospice!! Thank you

[@patriciamoore7444]

I am so disappointed that you did not have any time to answer anybody's questions Matter fact I'm Patricia Moore and I was number 2 in line

[@patriciamoore7444]

I have been following you for quite some time Seems like no one else has gone through this kind of an experience Could she have not yet been getting enough oxygen to her brain As I say she was very angry not like any other stories you've been telling

[@susancampbell7012]

I was so sad when my husband died because I thought that the medicine that he was getting is what took him faster and I felt like maybe that was what killed him because he wasn't really sick when they put him on hospice he seemed more fragile and his blood pressure was high and he did have congestive heart failure but he never complained of pain or anything and so I thought that when they put him on the medicine he died from that but when you told us that it was only five I guess it was milligrams I don't remember exactly but I know you said that it wasn't very much at all and that's what he was on and I really thought it was a lot so it set my mind at ease and I'm so grateful thank you it's helped me tremendously not to feel so guilty.

[@JenDoe1]

5mg is literally An amount so small - please know that it wouldn’t affect him in the way you thought. Don’t be sad! God Bless you!

[@LcJohnson7962]

My husband died on Thanksgiving night two years ago. He was on hospice and had a wonderful RN. And two wonderful CNAs that came in and gave him his bath everyday. Jose was his RN. My husband immediately took a liking to him. In fact, he said a couple of days before he died. He said to me “Nothing gets done unless it goes through Jose or you”. He only lived two and a half weeks after he came home. It was at the height of Covid and they wouldn’t let me stay with him at the hospital. He was77 and we had been married 58 years. I was always with him. 2015 diagnosis of metastatic prostate cancer. Already in bones. Radiation, oral chemo. Many long trips to hospital 60 miles away. I was 73 with moderate health issues. Very little help from anyone. What I really want to say is I am a retired RN NICU nurse. So I knew how to take care of sick and dying babies. But not much with elders except my parents. Jose did what he could to educate me in the short time we had. My husband loved Thanksgiving and Christmas. He started planning the meals weeks ahead. We have three daughters with husbands , six grandchildren and 13 great grandchildren. That day they all came to visit except one. He was very weak but stayed awake all day. He said to me”I want to sleep with you”. I climbed into his hospital bed with him. A couple of daughters stayed after the others went home. Chelsea asked “What’s yours and grandmas favorite song? He pointed at me and said “Tell her”. Since I don’t have you”. By Skyliners. She pulled it up on KZbin and started playing it. He smiled. Then the others picked out other songs they knew we loved. So there we were. I’m in bed with him and he’s tapping his finger to the music. Trying to sing along. Occasionally dining along as bed as he could. No dry eyes in the room. Then it was 10:30 and I got my daughter to help me change him and get him ready for bed. I got in the lift chair beside the bed. I was sooo tired and sleep deprived. But he didn’t go to sleep right away. He was looking up at the corner of the room. A few minutes passed I was about to drop off to sleep and I heard his breathing change. I jumped up and his head was back. He had a terrified look in his beautiful blue eyes and his tongue was at the back of his throat. I called for help. Was able to get his tongue down and get him to breathe with O2. I gave him 0.25 of morphine and a sl Ativan. He was able to get one good breath and then two that didn’t move air. Finally the on call nurse got there. Had me give him 1ml of morphine. He didn’t open his eyes after that. And continued to breathe like that for hours. Couldn’t reach Jose. I didn’t give him anymore meds since he seemed to be unconscious. I raised his left eyelid to see if he was responsive. His total eyeball was black like a shiny marble. No white. I asked the nurse. What was that. And she just said he’s transitioning and left. My daughters sat up with us and I had nodded off when our oldest daughter said. “.Mom he’s gone “ I couldn’t believe it. Youngest daughter started screaming and ran out saying. I’m not ready. For the most part. His last day was good. I just don’t understand why he died like that. Later Jose said he knew he was declining but wasn’t expecting him to go that fast. I’m still struggling after two years. I thank God I found you on KZbin. Been watching for a couple of weeks. If there is anything that would shed some light on his death I would appreciate it. God bless you.

[@patskelton4202]

I am in the middle of Kansas! I love Hospice since my husband’s death. They were so kind and helpful. I was able to say goodbye and then let him go with no pain!

[@staffordgarland9226]

Many RNs go from ICU to Palliative Care. Reminds me of a great joke I used to tell in the ICU: The Oncologist tells his patient "I have some bad news and some good news. The bad news is you only have 6 months to live. The good news is we have some procedures and treatments that will make it seem like MUCH LONGER."

[@deniseblackburn33]

We were blessed for a good month with my mama 💕 thanks to hospice....

[@LLove-th4ju]

I had to place my mom on hospice in 2019. I was so alone during this whole process because I was her Power of Attorney and I really didn’t have very much support from family. It was at the end of a long hard journey of early onset dementia. I was so traumatized and it still haunts me to this day. I really appreciate Julie and her videos. I know she will help so many people going through a very difficult time.

[@ke6445]

Omg yes!!!!! Dealing with people “suffering” ( and not yet in hospice) and won’t take advice or steps to help themselves!!!!!! Draining is an understatement

[@debragonzalez4303]

So glad I found you Julie. I've learned so much from you and am now helping with a man in end of stage of life.

[@johnwelch4117]

John watching from utah. Just found Julie's videos yesterday and have been binge watching. Videos are helpful because I'm 77 with severe copd so I'm going to have to deal with this pretty soon. .Thanks , vids are really helpful

[@tonig4151]

I'm in the same boat John, I have end stage Emphysema and bladder cancer...I just got over covid and was in the hospital for 4 weeks. Thank God I could still advocate for myself. I live on the outskirts of boston..I hope both of us are going to have a painless passing... prayers and good thoughts are coming your way. Bless you!

[@sharpcanines3347]

My Dad had COPD was on oxygen for years. I wish you peace. xo

[@TallulahBelle3276]

Sending love.❤

[@moonshine1st]

Julie shares so much knowledge and she gives some peace as we near our time. I absolutely love her and the way she presents the process to us.

[@carolwrobel7766]

My mom had cancer, primary site right kidney, metastasized throughout her body. About a week before she passed her body began to twitch every 15 to 20 seconds. Was that because her kidneys were shutting down, her output was next to zero. Just want to add, I held my mom when she took her last breath in 2015. I had a hard year this year. Held my dad's hand when he took his last breath this February, in July this year I held my beloved husband's hand and watched him take his last breath. Three loved ones, my blessing to hold them as they went to Jesus. Ever since I started watching you, I have so much more peace about them not suffering. I love you, thank you. I saw so much of your things happen as they were shutting down. I heard it put this way, our bodies shut off, not die. I like that better.

[@marionquinn436]

Hospice is wonderful and so helpful. This is great information for everyone.

[@kelliemurphy7933]

I couldn’t agree more about death being talked about in general but also especially with children. My husband grew up in a very large Irish family (15 children) and death was very much an every day and part of life experience where friends and neighbours who died were spoken about openly and the children encouraged to go and view the body (at the wake) which meant it was never an uncomfortable subject. I on the other hand was never allowed to any funerals as a child or even teenager, not my grandparents or even my little brother and everything was kept very quiet and hush hush. I know it was done with the best of intentions i.e my dad was concerned it would upset us too much. What happened though was that when I was an adult the whole subject was something I hated talking about and when my dad died the shock was almost overwhelming. So thank you to all who help to normalise this subject, especially for children. You’re stopping or at least helping to minimise what could otherwise be really traumatic.

[@claudiarobinson587]

Hi. A friend told me about you. My finance Mark has been under hospice care since January. He is dying from congestive heart failure. My hospice experience has not been as great as it could be. The rn comes once a week to do vitals. I have been taking care of him for almost 3 years. I have ms and fibro and ra and more. I have no family support. Two weeks ago I had a heart scare. Lots of pain and my heart rate was just 120. After an hour, it went to 75. I saw my ms doctor a few hours later. He said it was time to take care of me. Mark is very stiff. He can't roll over. This is so hard. I am really hoping he would die here with me. I've cried alot. I know I have to do this but heart is broken. I went from planning a wedding to planning a final goodbye. Please pray for mark and me.

[@juliantn]

I'm sorry. I will pray.

[@barblucchesi9527]

We all will be going to a much better place, PARADISE 🤲🙌✝️🙏🏻❤️

[@elizabethpryor2838]

Thank you. You have filled a void in the education and process of dying.

[@sallysmith2937]

Hey ladies. This is great! I lost my mom in 1971 to lung cancer who was at home( I was 14); I lost my stepmother 1990 from breast cancer, she, too, was at home. I lost my brother, Rob, 1997 lung cancer he was at home. I was Daddy’s caregiver( my hero had CHF when he passed at age 87 in 2009. Etc etc ....I cared for four friends through the entire process.

[@sallysmith2937]

Excellent video ladies. The books.... *CARING FOR THE CAREGIVER *BOUNDARIES *COURAGE TO GRIEVE ...... and many many stories regarding the topics you beautiful ladies covered.... just so filled right now!! WOOHOO!🌺😇☀️🤗

[@dcjoy9804]

Can you give some advice or speak on the elderly who are not dying of anything but have some health issues (non life threatening) but get depressed or just tired and they continually talk about wanting to die? Thanks

[@laceybanter5937]

Do you talk with them? If you do but they are not getting the information they want or need suggest to them to see their doctor for meds or a therapist. Often they keep talking about it because no one is willing to have that conversation with them. They pooh paah them.

[@minnesotagirl7458]

Hi Julie. Love your videos… I am a hospice nurse in Minnesota

[@francisverdin3231]

Two very beautiful ladies

[@deniseblackburn33]

Thank you

[@Barbaracoyle]

Detaching from the patient and etc is one thing right.

[@amarjakamp4779]

I am from amsterdam. HOLLAND

[@LcJohnson7962]

He sang along as best as he could.

[@peejay1858]

Hello! From Apex NC

[@patriciamoore7444]

I watch you you thank you for so much information my grandmother was dying and she was very irritable I l Love it her she loved me I She seemed angry Was upset because she broke her hip and had to go into the nursing homeher She had also said she'd rather be dead than in one of those place I was so scared She was very angry Grabbing me and scratching m I've felt and have felt guilty all these years I don't know what else I could have don Is this just agitationh me

[@ewafredriksson5826]

In Sweden 40h is full time. What is full time in nursing in the us?

[@elizabethann8228]

The same. 40.

[@debragonzalez4303]

I can see it live

[@sharpcanines3347]

Audio would be much better with headphones and microphones

[@patriciamoore7444]

I wanna see you dance I think you're great thank you for all you do

[@Mail4Lisa]

Thank you so much,I love your heart Julie!

[@mystica97]

As someone who is very educated about psych on the practical end with a decent amount of human development, (how we become us).. if you must talk to a child about death, be age appropriate. Just like sex. You don't tell a 5 year old about sex in graphic terms, right? You answer their questions until they quit asking questions and you comfort them if your answers are scary. Period.

[@margyritchie2702]

❤ It won't ket me like video

[@patskelton4202]

I see fine!

[@Mrsdalton1958]

Branford fl

[@sallyclay1974]

I salute the whole medical staff, including caregivers, doctors, nurses, and hospice, when my sister was in assisted living, at The Residenice , in Darien,CT, for Lewy Body Dementia. They were , all there for her, the last 3 years of her life. Her mind, totally went , and she couldt walk or talk, at the end. BLESSINGS and prayers, to all of them.

[@sallysmith2937]

Volume 2...... I cared for two lovely women with Alzheimer’s. We lost Mary Jane in 2011. However, the other woman is being allied to linger despite a DNR. I’m in Grief Counseling because my hands are tied knowing this woman is being sustained in the very last stage of this curse of a disease..... she has a three to six week old infant stage. So very sad. WE NEED GOOD HOSPICE NURSES just like you, Julie!!! 🌺🌻😇

[@bethforst1498]

Thank you Thank you Thank you You have given a beautiful conversation about a lovely personal segue. We need to talk about this fascinating process. Much love here. 💗💗💗💗

[@debbieluevano9977]

Hi! Arizona…my father was on hospice, lifesavers, I might add. His suffering from Dementia, ended in November 💔

[@malkaringel7864]

Thanks for making dying seem easier. I'm 66 & endure many conditions that I must live with, but not life threatening. I can barely stand up many a time. I can't do anything much except try to do my house hold tasks & food shopping. Everything is challenging. Sometimes I consider suicide when I'm down. I'm very much alone, save for my feral/homeless cats. I enjoy your videos as we gain alot of information. Yes all your videos are helpful. Representing Quebec 🇨🇦 Canada here!

[@barblucchesi9527]

Animals are such a blessing they had meaning to one's life. I will remember you in my prayers, take, and may GOD GIVE YOU THE STRENGTH TO KEEP GOING🤲🙌✝️🙏🏻❤️

[@janicelehane6373]

when angels meet...

[@mrs.e3909]

It is also true in the care industry where elders are living with dementia that families are not given any guidance or information on the nature of the disease and the trajectory of a timeline of events or stages. From doctor visits through hospital stays to the care facility we were and are left in the dark as to where our loved one is and how we can be of help. So, we just feel our way through the adventure.

[@madelinemaize9786]

There are many fates worse than death. Death is the only inevitable one. I think about my own mortality, and I think "well, its not like I can opt out on this one".

[@debrawilliams449]

Hi from Debbie in new york

[@robinpolack7716]

Yes dance Julie

[@gildahinote1612]

aa

[@gildahinote1612]

I tell this witha very heart. My sweet mom passed 10 years

[@gildahinote1612]

In

[@TerrySmith-he5vx]

Do you follow Dr. Christopher Kerr?

[@debragonzalez4303]

can aee

[@karensmith5540]

Hi Julie!!!!

[@karensmith5540]

Karen from Prosperity, PA

[@karensmith5540]

I can see you just fine!!!!