A JEWISH WOMAN REACTS TO UNORTHODOX ON NETFLIX!

Did Unorthodox on Netflix tell the truth about Jewish people and is the portrayal of the Hasidic Jewish community accurate? What do I as a Jewish woman think about the show? This is my honest reaction and review! Have you binged it yet? I would love to hear your thoughts as we all stay home stay safe and watch together.
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[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Talking about the MIKVAH SCENE in Unorthodox and how it compares to my personal experience in a Jewish ritual bath mikvah in today's video! kzbin.info/www/bejne/m4iTpKSGgr-Klbc

[@AlliesBest]

I actually liked that we couldn’t really pin point of the husband was a good guy or a bad guy because that’s how it is with regular people isn’t it? I completely agree about the friend group- I wish we had 90% less of them to dive into more with the mom and the woman who helped her get to Germany!

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Yes we are SO on the same page Allie!!

[@rheinhartsilvento2576]

@Tzion Talks Pure evil? Strong words for an immature, not very stable Momma's boy who tried to respond to and satisfy the introjected values of his community & family. The way he is shown here, is for me, as much of a victim of a set of stifling cultural values, as is Esther.

[@TOhara-eb2lp]

He was a spineless mama's boy who got dragged to Berlin by his black sheep cousin. What sort of real man runs to talk to his mommy about his sex life? What would all the wives reading this think of your husband if he pulled that stunt?

[@reviewswithjules8347]

The woman who helped her get to Germany had like 2 scenes so yes I agree I'd like to have seen their relationship and the conversations Etsy had with her

[@bsktballman08]

I agree but I think the main point of this show was to open up to the world the views and customs of this religion. I really don’t think all Jewish women have the piano teacher or group of friends or the mother to help them break free of this world. I feel sorry for those that don’t have these options.

[@sarah-beruriahbooi9529]

I don’t think the husband was a bad guy , he did felt for his wife and wanted to try to make a real life with her .

[@jennycoyle8204]

Diantha Booi I agree, I felt he was very pure/naive. And he was overly stressed by his parents and community. I feel awful for the couples in real life who maybe need help with having children 🙏

[@rosierosily3751]

Diantha Booi I think he was just a byproduct of his upbringing because let’s not forget he was pretty sexist. I agree with you tho

[@kellymr8]

I love your views and input. Truly. Thank you!!

[@1cowcamehome]

I think the husband was not a bad guy. He was weak and ignorant through no fault of his own. He wanted a life with his wife and was willing to sacrifice for her. I was very sad for him at the end because I was worried about him. I felt hopeful for her because she was moving toward a dream whether or not she achieved her dream.

[@Chanie787878]

@autonomous psyche Hi. I didn't watch the movie so I'm not commenting on that. Young Orthodox couples do tend to be very reliant on their parents, simply because they're so young. No, people should NEVER badmouth their spouses to their parents, but they do need to get advice. It's up to the parents to be smart and help their young married children get good, healthy advice from the right person.

[@cristaldiaz9642]

I am Dominican and I have lived in Brooklyn in a Jewish community and after seeing this it interests me so much because I always wondered so many different things about how they lived and this show I feel like only have one perspective and not the whole story. I am a new follower and I am so glad I am here and I think I could learn new things 😊

[@lizrodriguez1535]

Cristal Diaz same! Brooklyn has such a diverse neighborhood and growing up I’ve wondered about their lifestyle

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

That's awesome! I love that, thank you for sharing this.

[@tonylove561]

I live there as well but my mum wants us to move to England with her but my dad shouts at her

[@ShmuelandMiriamsOrthodoxLife]

Hi. I’m a de KZbinr making videos about the realities of Orthodox life, starting with reactions to Unorthodox. Head over if you’d like more detailed explanations about what the Jewish community in Brooklyn is up to!

[@IDontSuckAtLifeakaJanis3975]

@@ShmuelandMiriamsOrthodoxLife so glad I'm reading comments here, I've been looking for a channel such as yours.

[@alicekons28]

Making friends in Europe is much easier than it is in North America. So it's not unlikely to happen in the way it was portrayed. :)

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

This is what people are telling me, I love that!

[@Nemopokemon]

Yea, just starting to talk to random people is how I got most of my adult friends :)

[@christinekomis6662]

I feel like in general one you have a big common bond it does. I’m a horse person and I can go to something with horses and instantly bond lol. And I think music people are similar I have friends that made life long friends at music festivals.

[@apove1814]

Agreed - it is easier in Europe. Much more friendly.

[@wcingnatalia456]

I believe when they showed the mom being a lesbian. They were alluding to another orthodox women who got out of the community. She was interviewed about a year to year and half ago possibly more. She came from that community and after loosing her children she found herself. She found one of the hallmarks of being so miserable was she was gay. Possibly what they could have been shooting for .The lady i’m speaking about is the lady from “ one of us”.

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

I wondered that too! I remember her story

[@luvnlife3332]

Deborah Feldman, who's true story it's loosely based on, has a mother who is really a lesbian that left the community when Deborah was young.

[@jennycoyle8204]

Natasha Procenko-Tami I thought that too 💖

[@billieeilish9493]

No it was actually based on the author of unorthodox (Deborah feldman) mother who actually left her and the orthodox community and came out as gay and the mother went to Berlin

[@Kinkylicious83]

Love your perspective, for the Berlin part: Every time I visit Berlin, I end up being invited to random gatherings and meetings, especially in the district of Kreuzberg. People in Berlin are very open minded. Of course, it depends where you are going, but leaving the tourist spots this really happens 😃

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Lol people have been saying that, it's nice know there are places where people are genuinely so open and welcoming!

[@shakke565]

Yes! This happened to me multiple times in Berlin. Same in London.

[@nathanwillardfilmmaker]

Yes, when traveling people are much more open to meeting new people and trusting them. It is a bit odd, and maybe dangerous at times, but certainly what happens.

[@linavilaa]

That happens in Latin American countries too.

[@jerseygirl3428]

The friend group in Berlin was ridiculous. Here's a woman who has probably never spoken to a strange man in her life and she's in a coffee shop and some random guy orders a ton of coffee and she volunteers to help him carry it to wherever he happens to be going (is this even a reasonable thing for a woman to do?) and then when she gets there she inserts herself into his social life and is instantly accepted. Yet this same woman seemed incapable of having even one really close friend and confidante in her own community?

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Wow such a good point!! Yes it's true they make it seem like she has zero friendships at home yet she naturally can put herself out there in Berlin.

[@lunaproductions13]

Well, how I saw it was that her community was extremely prejudiced against her because of what happened with her mother. It seemed like this led to her being isolated from forming ties with people. And then once she marries, she is seen better but she personally still feels isolated because of the intense pressure to have a baby, and her struggling with married life when others around her didn't struggle nearly as much.

[@mangopilar]

Because her life was lonely and isolated in her Setmar community; also shows that Berliners are not evil and accepting of her, this is why she drawn to them as well, they don’t judge and make her feel part of their world.

[@sapphirecamui6447]

So very well said! I'm not jewish, but if I did what she did, i would definitely end up in a shady situation because most people think not about doing something good for others, but about how can they benefit from others. In any case, i have yet to see anyone liking a person who just inserts themselves in the life of others. Perhaps she felt really disconnected from her community, perhaps the rules in her community were too strict for her to bear.. she was obviously not ready for marriage. she wanted to belong, that's for sure... but to the wrong group of people i think.

[@versacegang4140]

I think she had friends in her community as it showed her talking and preparing food with women her age in a few scenes. The difference was that she didn't fit in in the community and felt like an outsider and her friends in Berlin started talking to her and tried to be inclusive as most friendly people are as they saw she was alone and lost and were trying to be kind.

[@claudialfain]

I've been accepted into friend groups right away! I am a music theatre girl-so we are usually accepting of people right away and interested in getting to know new people! I find this in musicians too!

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

I love knowing that that be the reality for people!

[@claudialfain]

@@MyJewishMommyLife Yes! It's not totally foreign! I find that in the artistic world (in my experience) I have been welcomed and have clicked with certain friend groups right away!

[@CHarlotte-ro4yi]

Also this very much is representative of the whole Berlin vibe. That’s why many people tend to say, Berlin is not Germany 😅

[@sheffermimi5918]

The series is based on the book which describes an individual experience and is by no means a documentary on Jewish life. So there is no way they "should have" done one thing or the other since they don't need to answer to any kind. of presentation. The critism you have is on the Berlin part - with which you are obviously not familiar (I am). Having to be so outstanding is also based on the true story - Deborah Feldman became an outstanding author and personality

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Those are all really good points! Thank you for sharing!

[@calimorales9880]

Yeah, I know this is about a very specific experience.

[@brysiax3]

The Berlin part is not based on Deborah's life, it's fictional

[@Momma_Vanessa]

After the Shoah my grandfather came to Brooklyn and married my grandmother. They lived in Borough Park and were part of the Hasidim there. They did eventually leave the community after their 5th child was born. I think your review was spot on! I could not agree more. The family bond runs deep in the community and it extends to neighbors and friends. I do wish they would have explored the mom more and maybe showed them mending their relationship. But it was Esty’s story to tell, not mine. 🙂

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Totally, love learning more about your family as you say the bond runs deep!

[@amandalooper1858]

I'm so glad you made a video about this! I have been dying to talk to someone about this series. I too felt that the friend group situation was very strange and that is partially I think because up until that point, the story is large a true story based on the books but after Esty leaves the community, the producers/writers decided to give her her own story. The only thing I liked about the Israeli girl was the conversation they had in the car on the way to the beach when Esty talks about her ancestors and family dying in the Holocaust and the Israeli girl said something flippant about yeah you and most of the country of Israel. I think moments like this were important to illustrate how other Jews frame their view on the Holocaust while remembering those lost and rebuilding the Jewish population is a major pillar of the orthodox community. I felt bad for Yanky too especially the scene where he broke down.

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

That's a very good point and I too felt moved by that bit of the conversation because it's such a simple obvious thing it's almost forgotten! Same same for Yanky lol!!

[@751abigail]

I felt the same way you did about the friend group accepting her right away. The amount of culture shock one experiences coming from a community like that is striking and it usually takes a while to feel comfortable trying to make friends, definitely not a plane ride! Having grown up in an ultra orthodox community myself I did however identify with her love for music and the piano, and I think, in her case, her desire to express herself through music while being deprived of the opportunity was part of what made her unhappy to begin with. Had she not felt deprived already she may have stayed in the marriage and put up with those stressors. I think though that it just added to the emptiness she already felt before getting married. I identified with this because of a similar experience I had growing up. I always loved dance and movement but taking lessons and performing in front of men was out of the question for me. Because I was deprived of something that I truly feel I needed I felt a deep unhappiness in being in a community like that. (Currently I dance to my heart’s content with some wonderful teachers in nyc). There are countless stories like this coming from these communities. It’s not that if she didn’t have a talent she wouldnt have been good enough to leave the community, but rather it’s because she was deprived of using her talent and living up to her true potential that she had to leave. Had she not been traumatized in her marriage she very well may have stayed but I think it was the icing on the cake. I agree that it would have been nice to see a “regular” person leaving a community like that because it happens all the time and everyone deserves to be able to make their own decisions. I think though that the idea it shows, is that a person is more likely to leave a community like that when they feel different, which she did because of the music and of course her own family background. I have so many thoughts on this series my head sometimes feels like it’s going to explode! It’s wonderful that you made this video.

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

I totally agree!

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

You're right about the music angle, that was a very rich layer to the story.

[@karenryan1597]

Great review! I thought a lot of the same thoughts. I hope they make a “Part Two” to touch on her mom relationship , what happened to her husband and the community. I was irritated by the friend group too. It was a little much!

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

That would be amazing!

[@moonchildseven]

Watch this documentary on netflix called..."One of us" its about orthodox jews!

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

It’s on my list, thank you!

[@iwonatoro3962]

I watched this documentary and was shocked about reality

[@shadowfrost-kz5vo]

i totally agree with you on the tension between yael and esti, when i moved to israel initially i was religious, unfortunately i had no where to go and i made aliyah from within the country, soon after making aliyah the seminary i was in kicked me out to the streets a lot of american jews that live here that happened to be religious really didn't care all that much, but as soon as my israeli friends heard about it even though i didn't even know them THAT WELL they were having NONE OF IT. i'm pretty sure yael in a real life situation would have been like direct where are you staying? do you have food? you're staying with me ._.

[@mgm579]

Great review! Watching Shtisel now and it’s amazing... very humbling in every way possible. Not to mention addictive. Highly recommend 👍

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

OMG so true!!

[@userl697]

This video sums up my opinion. I live in Western Europe in a big city and the friend group being so diverse and instantly adopting her was so unrealistic.

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Totally right? Glad you agree!

[@matthewfalter6366]

7:49 great insight! !!! I also thought it was weird that they started her out as a piano Enthusiast and switched it to singing being her final moment of Triumph

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Totally weird!!

[@hithisisme6332]

Honestly, I enjoyed seeing the friendgroup a lot because they were so, so different from her experiences in New York and really represented what it's like to move to Berlin for the first time. Here, it's a lot easier to meet new people and hang out with them, but really getting to know them does take time and effort and I think the show portraied that really accurately. It is a shame though that it wasn't longer and therefore didn't have time to take a look at the other relationships

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Agreed, love hearing your thoughts on the friend group as many people agree with you!

[@MysticalEmpress-fy2nc]

Usually when someone is different than their family & veers it’s a process. You don’t go from being totally religious to eating pork. It is a slow process. That seemed unrealistic. I felt sorry for Yanky. Nothing he would have done would have been good enough. He was a good guy. I cried.

[@jennycoyle8204]

Faye N I could see such an innocence in yanky piled also with family peer pressure I wept for him too, then I remembered him having asked for the divorce because of the bedroom situation. So then I rooted for his wife again. That poor girl was in agony so terrified of lovemaking but he totally blamed her. In saying that yanky was drilled his whole life to think that what he was doing was correct so I still do have a lot of empathy for his character 💖

[@MysticalEmpress-fy2nc]

Jenny Coyle he asked for the divorce not so much for the bedroom situation but more so cuz his family pressured him to have kids. It was strange that Esty didn’t want to be with Yanky, her husband, but was quick to jump into bed with the other guy. It’s a movie after all but some of the facts are unrealistic.

[@jennycoyle8204]

Faye N yes you could see the innocence of the situation in the actor who played yanky that’s why I didn’t dislike him at all. And yes Etsy jumped quite quickly into the arms of another man which I thought was crazy. I think that yanky s character should have been given more help from his family instead of the constant pressure to have a child. I really appreciate your thoughts on this subject and I hope I haven’t offended in any way. Have a beautiful week I send you and your family great blessings 🙏

[@MysticalEmpress-fy2nc]

Jenny Coyle not at all. You’re entitled to your feelings and opinions. I don’t take it personally either. Just observing and these are things that don’t make sense. You have a blessed day as well & stay safe. 🙏🙌

[@jennycoyle8204]

Faye N sending love to you and your family 💖

[@QuiteDecent]

I don't like how the piano teacher snitched on her... They didn't know that she actually knew where Esty went, and she could have just said she didn't know, etc.

[@princesskaitlinhazelwood4703]

I only saw the first part. But it was very moving and artistically done.

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Totally! Very beautifully filmed.

[@denisejohnson4037]

I understand what you mean about there being a warm and loving side of that culture. However, if there is a depressive, negative, and oppressive side then we need to inspect that and go deeper into that. Yes, there are people who are very welcoming like that. The world is not black and white. You have people who are very accepting and will make friends right away and those who are very skeptical. And those who are in between.

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Very good points, thank you for sharing!

[@ianmcclellan7695]

The 'show' is based on one woman's biography and her personal experiences. It's not meant to be a documentary about that community in Brooklyn, it's a snapshot of her life and you seem to have completely missed that.

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

That’s a very good point!

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Chat with me! Comment one emoji that describes how you felt about the show...mine is...🤓

[@sisterspooky]

@My Jewish Mommy Life : 😐

[@marisaledesma4068]

This was based on a true story and a book by Deborah Feldman. It says it was loosely based on it but I think she was a part of the sect they talk about.

[@sisterspooky]

@Marisa Ledesma : Yes. That is true.

[@cindyrhodes]

🤓

[@imoen00]

🤓🧐 I will actually confess it got me curious about Judaism and eventually brought me to this channel! There have been some really, really amazing and loving and influential Jewish people in my life and I love so much about them that I recently reached out to a local rabbi and now I’m reading so much and devouring so much information.

[@noemiebloomberg4096]

OMG I watched unorthodox, I'm myself orthodox (from France living in Israel), I relate a looot with everything you said!!!!!!! The analysis about the too easy socialisation process and the weird parts with the Israeli girl resonated a ton! And knowing from close the lack of education in sexuality, I also felt like he's not a bad guy and just needed more guidance... Super interesting, thanks so much for sharing!!

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Love hearing your insight!

[@jamieg2064]

You are the sweetest, most warm-hearted person

[@SolangeBrill]

Berlin is a very unique place with a culture unlike most cities in the world. Plus students are a unique group as well. I thought her new friends in Berlin was a real portrayal.

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

I love that you liked it, it just shows that different people relate to different experiences and truths and that's beautiful!

[@francesrae4173]

Completely agree about the whole friend group/ music Berlin aspect of the show! i think the parts outside of the community and orthodox culture side of things were underdeveloped and were just trying to make the show have depth but fell short. still binged in one night though haha!

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Totally I still hold by my theory they wanted something to appeal to the younger generation.

[@louiseaz7717]

As an ex-muslim I couldn't believe how quick she just accepted many things that were a huge sin in her previous beliefs. I know people can be different but It took alot of time, effort and feeling guilty for me. this part of the story wasn't realistic and accurate. (Sorry i'm not good at english.)

[@jalomel06]

I am Dominican, 22 years old, and I have never met a Jewish person in my life because here in the Dominican republic the main religion is Catholicism. Since I watched unorthodox on Netflix I really got interested in the Jewish community and the Judaism itself. At the point that I reached to you haha. But for me the point that you criticize is the same I do, I thought that as well! Like only in a perfect world you just run into a group of people and get accepted instantly

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

That's so cool that a TV show opened up a whole new world, I love that!

[@exitpursued6690]

I'm cracking up at these reactions by clearly modern orthodox women! Life as a Satmar Hasid is VEEEERRRY different from life as a much more empowered modern orthodox Jew. I don't think it was an unfair depiction of the Satmar community in particular. I mean, even the Lubovitch community is more liberal and well-balanced. The Satmars have a reputation for a reason!

[@shaniguri71]

As a non-religious Jew living in Israel. It must be noted that there is indeed a lot of tension between religious and non-religious groups of Jews. It stems mainly from influential political forces. The reaction of the Israeli girl to Shira in the series, is indeed typical to many unorthodox Israelis.

[@SusanScrapPassion]

I thought the series was somewhat fragmented with bits and pieces that did not really add up. The viewer was left with questions that were not answered. I would have liked if the story flowed a bit better. The friend group was interesting because the community does not accept those who are not Jewish that readily into their social circles as the show implied that they might.

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Totally agree! I think adding in one or two more episodes could have really helped!

[@darla89]

I haven't seen Unorthodox yet. I'm really looking forward to it, though! Thanks for sharing your opinion on the show and I really enjoyed your little history lesson 😁 ...stay safe! Greetings from Germany 😊

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Thank you so much!! Let me know what you think of the show if you watch!

[@miriamgreen3973]

Why was the child left out of the story? That's a major factor that the writer had to get a lawyer to stop her family from calling her unfit

[@Historian212]

Miriam Green It’s not a documentary. It was inspired by her story, as it says in the beginning of the movie, but it’s a fictionalization.

[@classified773]

YAS!!! I WAS HOPING TO HEAR OF THIS!! You read my mind! Thanks for your insight !

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

You're so welcome! Did you feel the same way I did about the show?

[@cgrass4035]

Being raised in a fundamentalist religion was not good...I was not free to think my own thoughts until I left...I also felt obligated to stay in a bad marriage...I really believe it does so much harm

[@ellioshiem7892]

good for you. you have the right to choose.

[@n3ssilp505]

I loved Unorthodx, especially after reading Deborah Feldmans books. In an Interviwe she recently said that her real Berlin experience was actually quite similar to the way it’s portrayed in the show in the way that she actually made her first friend in a coffee shop and was part of a tight knit friend group within weeks. Also she goes a little more in-depth on the traditions within the community she grew up in in her books, a definite reading recommendation. :)

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Love that! That's so interesting that she was able to find a helpful and supportive friend group, that makes me happy to know!

[@faithittillyoumakeit4050]

I haven't watched the show yet. After putting my daughter to bed I'm going to check it out.

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Let me know what you think!!

[@colorlyrita]

Watched and now confused?! You all like it? Maybe I skipped something? She is pregnant and lays down with random guy after 3 days of knowing him?! It’s not normal...

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Lol definitely has some scandal in it!

[@suzannewinz1099]

She has left a completely restrictive life and is getting excited about her freedom. considering she was still half dressed in the morning, I don't think you need to assume intercourse.

[@MinieAnne]

They didn't have sex I don't know what's the problem

[@droopybosomsdragon9870]

May I ask why, in the movie, they touched a wall before leaving a room?

[@barbaraschwimmer1338]

i m from the SATMAR community; besmirching a community is all about her bitterness and rejection, she was abandoned by MOM, which is beyond painful. she needed therapy which she never got

[@katlynbonnema5291]

I loved watching unorothodox it was so good finished it in a day 🤣 kinda wanting to read the book as well

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Same i definitely want to read the book!

[@randomisthewayforward4045]

fully agree on the bingeable , i started to watch the first episode when chilling in bed thinking ill watch an episode over a few nights ... wrong lol i stayed up all night without realising and watched the entire thing

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Lol it’s so addictive and it’s got great pacing!

[@munkin93]

As someone who left a very insular, conservative religious community (not Judaism, to be clear), I was also struck by how little affection the movie showed for the community she was leaving. When you leave a religion, you don’t just leave your beliefs, you leave your family, friends, community, and every experience you ever had because of it, bad, but also good. And that’s what makes it so hard to leave, are all the good things you’re losing. I get that they were trying to show the bad or frustrating things to illustrate the reasons why someone would want to leave, but it is always so much more complicated than that.

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

You bring up such a good point, what makes it so hard is that there are so many good things being left behind and so many components of one's identity and belief. I'm sorry you had to experience this im sure it was so unbelievably hard!

[@MinieAnne]

Well you forgot that that they treat like an orphan and I'm not agree because she has a deep bond with her grandmother, she even took her picture with her but when she need her she turn her back

[@susansierra6652]

Did you make any videos on your wedding? I would love to see a Jewish wedding

[@laurenlovesparis3163]

I watched it all in like one or two days. I think it would be good if they made another series 🙂 great review 💕 Hope you are all well and staying safe 💕 x x

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Thank you! Agreed it could have been longer but it was a good binge!

[@Olamchesed]

The show wanted to focus on the negative for drama. But people Unfortunately, don't see the positive. Thanks for your input. 🙂

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

I hear that!

[@WindsongPodcast]

What are some of the positives, in your view?

[@haydenbsiegel]

Thanks for putting this out there as just a Jewish woman instead of some fake Orthodox Authority. A lot of people do that and so it was refreshing to see someone who was honest and not trying to play at something they aren't!

[@daniellemnvlogs]

Omg yay! When I saw the trailer, I thought, “what would Marion think about this show?”

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Aww 😂 you should watch it it’s a good watch lol

[@TheZeyyyyy]

There's that one scene at the hotel where Moshe feels offended to be associated with Israel. He says "zionists" kinda with disgust. I know some hasidic communities don't accept israel but how common is it?

[@sonofblessed]

1:23 - Nice commentary, as a fellow Jew. I'd just like to point out that Orthodox Jews don't just do things because their rabbi tells them to. Their relationship with rabbis is based on a need and/or desire to know how to follow the Halacha properly, and so they ask their rabbi how to do things the right way. This is sort of like asking your fitness trainer how to work out the right way. The more I know about shows like this the more I gravitate toward analyzing real life than entertainment, which I find to be more dynamic and untamable.

[@hiddenstash07]

It didn’t find it unfair what they showed because it was based on a true story. They, like you said focused on one person and her perspective so from that view it was raw and real. I would of like more in the community the friend group was a little odd. Worst part of the show was hands down The ending!!! Side note I’ve heard and read they do have “orthodox enforcers” if you will who will aggressive and morally questionable things. Like when a mother wants to leave a community, the men and rabbi’s have all the money and power so often the moms will lose their children and be ostracized.

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

It’s definitely a hard balance between her perspective and showing a more complete view of that world!

[@rosemarymartinez2579]

I love the way you gave the explanation. As well as your own view point . I myself have discovered my European Jewish heritage and my Sephardic Jewish heritage. And when I seen this show I was kind of taken back by it and I to felt that others will have a bad take on understanding Judaism. It kind of reminded me about that movie can't remember the name but Rene Zellweger played in it. But anyway love your vlogs I'm so glad I've found you! Many blessings!

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Thank you so much! Yes I had the same instinctive feeling just wanting to make sure people know this is just one small part of the whole large Jewish community.

[@keshlynn664]

Loved Unorthodox, currently watching the series Shtisel & I'm really enjoying it!

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Yes!! Such good tv, at least there are good shows to watch at this hard time!

[@geesewhat164]

this was such a wonderful review. I was curious as to what a Jewish person would think about this show. thank you for your input. I found the friend group to be really inauthentic. it didn’t feel natural for Esty to become friends with the first people she meets when she arrives in Berlin. I was so fascinated by her mother. I really wish Esty and her mother would have interacted more. Esty had to grow up quick (getting married so young) so I think the friend group allowed her to learn to be young and feel free.

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Same!!! Her and her mother’s relationship has so much more depth and appeal!

[@lewisbyrd7547]

I find you wise beyond your years. I’m a Jewish woman in her late sixties and I grew up in a small city with a very smallholder Jewish community, but thanks to my parents Judaism played a big role in my life (we were conservative ). I also was active in USY, I went to a USY camp outside of Seattle. The part of the series I thought was totally unrealistic was this woman left basically her whole past & in a blink of an eye she’s got a shoe design & manufacturing company, & she found the “love of her life” & her family, including her ex accepted & liked her new life. I only have season one so maybe the sugar coating fell off her, at least a little. I will watch season 2 and see, but like you it’s a good binge show, though I can’t figure out how you have time to binge a show??? I want to thank you for your Utube channel, I really enjoy you & your adorable kids. I’ll keep watching if you keep producing the show? with content as relevant as you have been . Thanks

[@georgiawoodring1696]

Question...significance of all of the kitchen surfaces (during the Wedding, I think) being covered in tin foil?

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

What you're seeing is Passover time in a very religious home, in order to ensure there's no chametz (items that are not kosher for passover, like bread or even a crumb of bread) mixing with the food some people cover their countertops and use different cooking equipment for the holiday.

[@Beet21]

Ah! I've been waiting to watch your review until I finished the series, which I finally did! I agree with a lot of your review. I think the moments with her husband, her bubbie, and her mother were the strongest and I wanted more depth there, especially with her mother. I would have loved more flashbacks to her mother's experience of leaving the community. One thing I think was touched on but could have been explored more was how her husband was both empowered and contained by some of the customs of the community. Did you watching the making of special on Netflix? It was very interesting. Anyway, I always enjoy hearing your thoughts on these things! I've added Shtisel to my list :)

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Love hearing your thoughts and appreciate you watching my review! I haven't seen the making of special but I've heard really good things, and I totally agree with you on the husband points!

[@dreamywhales]

The conservative movement formed when they felt that the reform movement went too far from tradition, so it was formed in response to "conserve" certain aspects of Judaism. Hassidism was already a movement but it was more focused on prayer and on intensifying prayer. It wasn't until later they evolved to focus on Torah study etc. Also orthodox is just an umbrella term, within orthodoxy there are many different movements and sects that all observe differently and with different views on halacha etc. Just like there are different types of Jews, orthodox Jews are all different. There are modern orthodox jews, different types of hasidic jews, chabadniks, etc. Also there are definitely accepting orthodox jews. In LA there's even an LGBT friendly orthodox shul, and orthodox rabbis who are gay themselves. The belief that orthodox = not modern isn't accurate at all, just because certain tight knit groups believe in certain things, doesn't mean that applies to all orthodox jews.

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Yes, thank you for getting a bit more into the history! I am tempted to make a whole video about this as I cut out a lot of explanation when I was editing because that wasn't the purpose of the video and I can ramble off topic for quite some time lol!

[@dreamywhales]

@@MyJewishMommyLife That'd be really cool! A lot of people don't know about how varied our community is! Though there's a growing trend of people observing without any movement at all and just observing whichever mitzvot they can/personally find important since that's how jews were for almost all of jewish history, no movements, just observing what they were capable of and not judging each other for what was/wasn't observed! So maybe you could mention that too!! I read about all the history in Jewish Literacy! It's a really good book!

[@myswagobsession]

Kas P. I believe she said that. But your explanation was fascinating as well. Really.

[@rabbilevih]

You have some fact wrong here

[@sonofblessed]

@@MyJewishMommyLife I think you would be interested in the book _Mitzvah Girls_ by Ayala Fader. I'm a frum Jew and have read a few chapters.

[@sarahkusher6430]

So glad you reviewed this show as I had just finished watching it with my family! I agree with all of the points you are making. I myself am not a very religious Jew, but agree with you that they made a bit of a "caricature" out of the ultra-orthodox. I think I would have preffered if the Israeli girl or her mom showed her another way of being Jewish. Instead the main takeaway was she escaped a "cult" and will completely not be Jewish now. I rarely see other sects of Judaism represented in media. It's either they are ultra-orthodox or it's they are never mentioned to be Jewish except for the holiday special when they mention they celebrate Hanukkah. Would love to see more diversity of thought to paint a fuller picture for non-Jews.

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Such good points yes more about faith would have been so interesting!

[@jennycoyle8204]

Sarah Kusher as a Catholic girl from Northern Ireland (well I’m 46) I totally agree. I would have loved to have learned more 💖

[@corneliabarber5136]

Maybe you’d like transparent. Deals with Judaism in the ways you’re speaking about.

[@camille9094]

Haven't seen the series and don't know much about the Hasidic community, but loved watching this video! Love your joy and excitement :)

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Thank you!!

[@moonchildseven]

So i just finished it and i really liked it! I am so glad etsy chose freedom for her happiness. She was so cute!! Truly moving and captivating. The way the orthodox live their life is kind of crazy to me. I am not religious whatsoever but it was definately interesting watching their lifestyle.

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Same but the ending did leave me with mixed emotions!

[@samsamuels8328]

2:35 - That's not true. The groups in Judaism were beginning to form at least from the enlightenment in the 18th century, and there were a lot of different groups like the Neolog-Judaism and others.

[@Midgy21747]

Yes I read this too. After the film I wanted to find out more and read up on the history.

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

That's true that many Chassidic groups date back hundreds of years but many groups became more defined after the war and upon emigrating to the US, also the birth of the Reform movement and much assimilation created and changed some of these groups.

[@samsamuels8328]

@@MyJewishMommyLife I am not talking about the Chassidic groups, I am talking about the liberal streams of Judaism. For example, the Reform Judaism was created by Rabbi Abraham Geiger in the 19th century, and so did the Conservative Judaism. In fact, at the beginning of the 20th century we already had most of the Judaism movements that we have today.

[@gina2930]

Yes, the satmar, Williamsburg community is a continuation from the exact same hasidic, community in Hungary pre ww2..

[@hpyrkh3]

In terms of education. Ultra-Orthodox women are more fortunate because they don't have to learn Torah all day long and thus have some time for math and other things. I'm not talking about this specific community, but it is true at large.

[@TOhara-eb2lp]

There's another documentary called "One of Us", also on Netlix. It's about Hasidism who have fled the community.

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

I definitely want to watch that too!

[@jennycoyle8204]

Toni O'hara it’s a brilliant but very sad to watch , I watched it after unorthodox it kinda shook me 💖

[@suzanahas4740]

My Jewish Mommy Life My dear, you definitely have to watch more than One of us...actually I am sure KZbin sent you many suggestions / videos of people who left the Hassidic community for similar reasons Deborah Feldman did...what is important to understand is that this community is trauma based and their religious beliefs are mentally unhealthy generating more trauma and abuse...The school of life channel is an excellent source to make you understand what that means..

[@thesweetlifeeveryday8143]

@@suzanahas4740 There are groups within Hasidism. Like the very insular Satmar group where Devorah Feldman grew up. Hasidism itself is not negative.

[@Humbirdhippo5475]

Following a dream to become a singer, IS a normal life! That voice represents her unheard voice in her family, marriage and community, and also her unheard talent. It’s her! To me, It’s more impactful to show that her talent would’ve been stifled, had she stayed. And college life is absolutely like that! You can meet some one, invite them over and they stay over all in the same day!

[@undertherowantree1717]

I really enjoy watching videos on your channel! Thank you so much and best wishes from the UK.

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Thank you very much!

[@afeenzainab2263]

Such a good review! I just rewatched unorthodox. And i absolutely agree with you about Shtizel being so much more real and fleshed out. I was curious when i watched unorthodox and i got a lot more understanding of the culture after watching shtizel without it being too on the nose and dramatic. Loved it!

[@TOhara-eb2lp]

One thing that I don't feel that anyone has touched in is how any Jew in their right mind would ever want to go to Berlin. I know that she had a back door via her mother's citizenship but, speaking as a Jew, that's the one country in Europe that I'd be afraid of. In the movie, her husband's more worldly cousin looks at him in his orthodox clothes and makes a remark that he may as well be wearing a yellow star because of how he's dressed in Germany.

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Lol I love that point, I've often wondered how I would feel visiting Germany. The scene at the lake just seemed creepy to me when they said that people had died in it or whatever and then she just goes for a swim.

[@Humbirdhippo5475]

I think following a dream to become a singer, IS a normal life! That voice represents her unheard voice in her family, marriage and community, and also her unheard talent. It’s her! To me, It’s more impactful to show that her talent would’ve been stifled, had she stayed. And college life is absolutely like that! You can meet some one, invite them over and they stay over all in the same day! 😉

[@kc-wr1ui]

I was bing waching this show for days people thought I would hate this show because I am an Orthodox Jew. But loved it ;-)

[@huv123]

I think the dynamic between the Israeli girl and the lead was actually fairly true to life. Have you never met a chiloni Israeli person who mouths off about religious life, while getting it completely wrong?

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Yah they could have dived into this so much more!

[@bobbidazzler1343]

I enjoyed it. Will binge watch the other series you recommended starting tomorrow. Hope you and your loved ones are hale and hearty Marion. 😘

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Thank you so much! It's called Shtissel and it's SO GOod, takes an episode or so to get into it though.

[@yiddena]

Great synopsis:) As a Jewish woman, I identify with your well-thought out perspectives:)

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Thank you so much!

[@gracetheyoutuber]

I watched the show immediately after your posted on IG a while ago, and thanks for sharing the thoughts on your perspective. Is really helping me to understand the culture better as a person who isn’t Jewish ☺️

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

You're so welcome!!

[@reginavitanyi3700]

It was an interesting review, thank you for sharing your opinion as a more of an insider of this community. Although I don't know where are you from, I just would like to share my experiences as a Middle-European student part of art-education. I understand your point about the unproportional screentime, I also think the lesbian mother was kind of brushed aside, however I think this friend group was rather ealistic. Berlin is a very inclusive and open place, and international communities do actually work like this as I experienced on my own skin. When I watched the series, I actually had people in mind from real like who act exactly like this, and I appreciated the movie for how much they managed to capture the "Berlin vibe". Also about art education, I know that since I am a part of that, for me these things are a lot more normal, but you see, there are many many talented people in the field of arts, and their goals are not something extreme to achieve. It requires hard work, networking, input, but in the end, this is a job like any other. It was refreshing for me to see a story where the main character choses a career in art, and that is not what the whole movie focuses on, but being treated rather casually. Of course it gave an opportunity to finish the movie on a high note (pun not intended, sorry:D), but to me the whole Berlin/international friends/art carreer was very relateable and realistic.

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Thank you for sharing this and describing Berlin and the art scene there more, I have never been so I appreciate learning!

[@dunya4754]

As a Muslim I found it quite interesting, don’t know much about Orthodox / Hasedic Jews or how they live their lives. The documentary was really interesting I actually really liked it, always thought Jews were more secular in terms of how they live so interesting perspective to see the other side

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

That's so cool! Is there a Muslic show that you would recommend I watch? I'd love to do that!

[@dunya4754]

My Jewish Mommy Life Muslic 😂, Muslim shows not really any out there i’m a Londoner raised in the west, so used to watching just western or hollywood based shows, might watch the occasion Bollywood which is more conservative, but generally the world has sort of become one whereby we all watch similar genre films and tv shows :). Although if I could pick a story to see on the screen it would be the Author called Khaleed Hossein he is the guy who wrote the book and film Kite runner, his book a thousand splendid suns shows the forms of control certain men have over women by their wrong interpretation or misuse of faith when it comes to war, cultural clashes etc :)👍

[@joaniekarin]

The story was based on a real woman’s real experience, so what one might think is likely or unlikely or genuine or not is probably a moot point. It was her felt experience of her life. There are some interesting interviews with her on KZbin for those interested in more context.

[@pridenprejudice2004]

Yes. I have walked into a group and been instantly accepted. It's happened a a couple of times and many of those people are still my friends today, 30 and 20 years later. It can happen with open and accepting people with good hearts. It can, and it does.

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Wow!! That's amazing!

[@pridenprejudice2004]

My Jewish Mommy Life Yes. I have been very blessed. And I’m very thankful for those people in my life.

[@hpyrkh3]

In general, out of all traditional religions, Judaism empowers women the most. Again, it doesn't mean that there is no unfortunate and abusive situation sometimes (not more frequent than in general population, actually). I just don't like that people from the larger Christian culture project how oppressed women were under, say, Catholic church few hundred years ago, and think that this is how Orthodox Judaism treats women as well.

[@twoweirdoswithkiddos7970]

I really want to read the actual story. Since its based on a book that was autobiographical, then these things somewhat happened in somewhat of a similar way......or I would hope that they tried to keep it pretty true to the story. I wish they had given us a bit more of a timeline though. Like, how long was she in Berlin before she was truly immersed with the friend group? Did she really go from 0-180 in 10 seconds? How long did it actually take her husband to go find her? And how was she able to now have physical relations with a man after having so many issues with her husband? Was it just fear and stress that kept her from having that with him? Would she have even left if that side of things had been better, even if other aspects still made her unhappy? She seemed so excited to get married and be a "good wife" and start a family and all of that. Its hard to believe that if that area of her life had worked out any where near her expectations that she still would have left. I feel like it just left me with so many more questions. I did enjoy it though. And I would like more of it. I do like that they didn't peg the husband as a "bad guy". She wasn't abused or emotional/mentally striped down by him. He supported her continuing her piano lessons, even though it was "forbidden" in their community. I feel like he was a "good guy" who was frustrated that what he was taught and expected of marriage and married life wasn't how it was for them. Neither was right or wrong. And, would he have sought her out if he hadn't found out she was pregnant? Or would he have just let her leave and found peace and happiness with a new wife? And what was his cousin's deal????? Lol. Like I said, so many questions!

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Totally get it, and I feel the same about her 0-180 thing, it felt so rushed that she threw off her old life entirely in a matter of days.

[@twoweirdoswithkiddos7970]

@@MyJewishMommyLife We should do a virtual book club and read this! LOL. Get to the bottom of these issues. LOL.

[@LoriSF124]

I’m going to have to watch it. I wasn’t sure. You gave just enough spoilers to make it even more intriguing. I’m not Jewish (religion) but my mom’s family is, I was raised Pentecostal and mom referred time herself as a completed Jew. I’ll let you know once I see it how I feel about it. Blessings hon.

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

That is so interesting! Yes let me know what you think when you watch it.

[@cakesbyandreagonzalez6708]

If ur moms family is , arent u? Just saying ....

[@LoriSF124]

Cakes by Andrea González yes. By blood line I am. My mother converted to Pentecostal and accepted Christ as her savior. That’s why she called herself a completed Jew. It’s not hard to understand

[@shulamitkalish3060]

Paige Marshall I promise this is no disrespect, but when your mom is Jewish, you are not just Jewish by bloodline but also by Jewish law even if she converted. Anyway have a good day.

[@chaniebrowd298]

Exactly, a Jew can never convert out of Judaism.

[@hannahmortimer6034]

So pleased you reviewed this! I watched the show, and I found I preferred the book which I read a few years ago. Even though it’s a true story as opposed to a dramatisation I thought the narrative and story line was better - I found this to be a bit muddled in the show. ALSO I’m concerned that people with little experience of Judaism could become confused and see this depiction of the satmar community as a representation of chassidic Jews - the customs and ways of the community are of course extreme but they also weren’t painted in a positive light. There are many different types of Jews, in different cultures, and there’s also a lot of ignorance around this.

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

I feel very much the same, that's really why I felt the need to put some explanation in at the beginning because the series really doesn't make this clear.

[@liisaking1247]

The book is her memoir, her perception of her life. The show was loosely based on her memoir up to the point where she went to Berlin. Then it was all Hollywood, including making her a musician instead of the author she actually is. I agree that even other Yidden tend to look at sects that are stricter or "look different" and use the negative stories *all* groups have to represent the group as a whole. This is a chillul Hashem.

[@courbynebufford3550]

I find your perspective interest. I don’t think however that the point is that there were bad or good guys or even that her music career was a thing she sought after. I very much did feel as though the story did a good job of portraying someone who struggles because of their family dynamic. That came up a lot in the show. I also did not pick up in the importance or lack of education. I think the feeling of otherness definitely did create a backdrop for the series and the family dynamics were pretty two dimensional where you could relate to both sides. I am coming from a religious background so maybe I just see things a little differently when it comes to these things. I do agree that some of the Berlin pieces felt a little odd and not as well crafted and I was way more interested in the flashbacks and her relationship with the mother than anything else.

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Love your thoughts on this, totally agree that good and bad are too simplistic of terms to describe everything going on here!

[@rosierosily3751]

I see what you mean about the friend group but I feel like the main focus of the show wasn’t to show her difficulty fully adapting. I think it was to show the sad truths that go on a religious cults or perhaps to ex cult members that life can be so much more than you’re told.

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Totally hear you, I think they wanted to make it clear that she made the right choice for herself maybe.

[@CandidLynn]

I love your sweater in this video. It looks so comfy.

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Thank you! Making KZbin videos is my excuse to get out of my pajamas lol!

[@apove1814]

I think because in Europe so many countries are so close to each other that it is easy for that to happen. Having been to Europe a few times , that part never came into question for me.

[@polinak7254]

There's a lot good in the culture and community if you fit. If you follow the teachings and expectations to a tee you would every notice a problem but if you don't? Well then it's very unforgiving.

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

I see that for sure!

[@tawneeseekye1]

Have you watched the series Srugim? I LOVED THAT SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

No!! I definitely want to!

[@ElinorDashwood29]

Is it on netflix?

[@AntoinetteD]

It's such an entertaining show about a group of friends who are religious in Israel. I think it's on prime

[@jillianmartin1384]

I would love to see a show like Unorthodox where a person leaves the “toxic” community but doesn’t leave God. In many shows portraying people leaving ultra religious communities, whether it’s Christian, Muslim, Jewish, etc. they completely abandon all their beliefs. I know it’s not the point of the show and it’s based on someone’s real life, but I feel like it could have been such a captivating story if we saw Esther leave Williamsburg and find peace in Berlin in a different Jewish community.

[@ayrsine]

Thank you for your explaination and I wish you and your family many, many blessings!

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Thank you 🙏

[@zipporaabram1365]

Excellent review, I agree with you 100%. Only my rating would be 6, eventhough Shira Haas is phenomenal.

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

So phenomenal!

[@EFRATLESHINSKY]

I loved and identified with this review , marion! Very percise!

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Thank you so much!

[@miguelbayonjacobson2]

Thank you so much for this review! I jumped in halfway during episode 1 with my parents not expecting much... but wow! This show is 🙌🏼!.. I agree 100% with all of your points; for me, especially, the entire music and friend group side-story felt like a rough draft for some reason. Overall, loved the review and your content!

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Totally!! Yes though still a fantastic watch!

[@melissadeseguin4449]

Yes! Everything you said. As soon as the show was over, it was a big eye roll. The friend group perspective definitely felt like they were cramming years of efforts into 5 days. I could not get past that...

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

Yah such an unfortunate misstep

[@bluesky4568]

I watched the trailer for unorthodox on Netflix.. I got the impression that they were painting all Jewish people with the same brush.. just like they do Christian people..

[@MyJewishMommyLife]

That's really interesting, what Christian shows do you think this happens on?

[@bluesky4568]

@@MyJewishMommyLife I really don't know anymore. I have not watched secular tv for many years. However I do know that hollyweird is big on portraying Christians as crazy polygamists, child abusers, I have never seen any show that portrays Christians as loving, helpful people.. Hospitals and schools are built by Jewish or Christian organizations...

[@greenpenguin7877]

Yeah the friend group thing seemed very odd...