A Midlife Crisis

[@vlogbrothers]

Thanks for being here with us. Check out the Crash Course coin: complexly.info/cccoin24-8 -John

[@NinaDmytraczenko]

I've cried tears of happiness every time the Crash Course coin is released. I believe so much in this project, in this community, and in our shared values. Thank y'all for being here ❤❤

[@defenderofwisdom]

I'm really sorry dude but at this point the 214 game only really looks weak.

[@arcan762]

Sounds like a NFT pyramid scheme

[@pnutz_2]

good luck on "the back nine" as the golfers say

[@stevechance150]

If you're 46, you have nothing to worry about, you've got 40 years left, and during that 40 years AI is going to discover medical advances that will extend lifespans to 120 years old, so you'll get an additional 40 years, and during that 40 years AI will undoubtedly "cure" aging. So you'll get to live forever.

[@elh93]

I think the joke gets funner every year. If I was working in a hospital and asked an octogenarian their age and they said "87, halfway home" I'd be cracking up.

[@CrashingThunder]

Full agree. Subversion of expectation is a cornerstone of humor!

[@myblueheather8240]

I intend to tell them I'm having a midlife crisis when I'm in a nursing home. 😂

[@KatieRomrell]

I believe the graph of the humor of this joke is a parabola.

[@alexdian3831]

That’s like RuneScape math

[@GilgameshEthics]

This comment / reply is reflective of the creativity of this amazing community. On a moist critical video this would just be a brain rot thread and instead we get incredibly thought insights 😊

[@sam-the-moomin]

One of my favorite posts basically says “since I have no idea when the middle of my life is, I have instead decided to have an ongoing crisis” and I feel like that’s somewhat applicable here lol

[@camillelee-own8380]

That’s been my cover photo on Twitter since I was like 24 and I’m coming up to 30 this year and it’s still very applicable 😅

[@vigilantcosmicpenguin8721]

That post continues to be the realest thing ever.

[@studiolinn]

@@camillelee-own8380 lol same but it was my instagram bio for like two years

[@Anberel]

I feel this, deeply.

[@GarnetReign]

This 😂

[@gigidodson]

As a widow in her 60s. Priorities have to do the things that bring you joy. Priority. Health. Family. Faith. Without your health, you can't always be there for family. Take care of your health. See a dr. Exercise. Eat good food, with a few treats tossed in for joy. Love your partner. Love your kids. Make time for parents because they will be gone way too soon. Spend time in nature. Sit by a river and think long thoughts. And always be a nerd.

[@placeholderdoe]

I can contest to how much love really helps your family. My dad just died and he was the most loving, caring person ever. And because of that my whole family knew that he loved us so much and that has been a huge help in continuing on. I can’t explain it but I feel like if he wasn’t as forward as he is about his love it would be a lot harder to accept his passing. Sorry for the dump but I thought it was relevant

[@gigidodson]

@@placeholderdoe Tell those you love. Say it out loud. Parental love is the foundation we build our notion of what love looks like. Tell them often. It is so important

[@christinebingham2879]

I'm 62. I'm glad there are other Hank & John fans my age.

[@TimothyCHenderson]

It is pretty amazing how, when you're younger, you understand that you'll age but you don't really get it beyond that. Once you hit middle age and you start to feel it, you know that sure, you may live into your 90's, but your 90's won't be your 30's. Every year the aches and pains get ever so slightly worse. Thinking gets harder. Remember gets harder. Aging is a real thing and you just don't know your priorities until you get there. I've spent a lot of time with my parents over the years which has also really helped me understand what aging will be like. The in's and out's of daily life can change a lot.

[@rmdodsonbills]

I'm a few years behind you, and yeah, I'll add my underline to all of this. Also, when I was making up nicknames for my siblings, I decided the younger of my siblings would get to be GG Dodson :)

[@barakfriedman1262]

46 is , according to studies, the age when we are at our lowest point in terms of mood, and things start going uphill after this. I am 52 and I can confirm this is real.

[@tracybartels7535]

I am also 52 and find that slightly comforting, because it means that statistically, things will improve for me as well. And probably already are, and it's just that today I can't see that because mental health.

[@johnlangston4108]

The Happiness Curve. I’m 54 and can confirm also. However, it’s even better if you do a lot of self reflection and work on your demons.

[@sarahvnyc]

I'm so happy to hear this. I'm turning 47 on Sunday and the last year and a half has been awful!

[@cobracommander8133]

I was at my lowest around 41-43. It's been pretty steady uphill ever since and I'm 47 now.

[@tracybartels7535]

@@sarahvnyc I certainly hope for better for you. It is nice to know that statistics are in your favor!

[@judge-4126]

personally i think the “halfway home joke” only starts getting funny after you’re statistically after the halfway point, and only gets more funny from there.

[@susanne5803]

My dad is over 90. He loves to say: "Well, you just feel you're no longer 80 ..."😊

[@wannabehuman]

It’s a little funny when you’re young & have a darkish sense of humour lol

[@mattmadolah]

This is easily the strangest cover of Fleetwood Mac Changes I've heard

[@elainebelzDetroit]

Superb comment.

[@eleowarner7298]

do you mean landslide?

[@60psych]

You win this comment section.

[@mosaic2476]

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[@lijohnyoutube101]

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[@brwneyedgirlx19]

"just a smidge of a crisis" feels like my motto for 2024 so far

[@simonstanton5299]

Progress...right?

[@Nyzackon]

Same, but ironically.

[@elainebelzDetroit]

LOL I was recently going through old poems of mine that refuse to leave the "unfinished" stage, & on one of them found I'd written myself the following notes (on 3 different spots): "Cut this. Lose the existential crisis. FOCUS." I think "Lose the existential crisis. FOCUS" has to be my mantra now.

[@briancarpenter86]

Same.

[@dereklush9399]

Are you gonna keep saying that every year

[@swimminginhoney]

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” I remember you quoting Annie Dillard once and I think that line is appropriate here.

[@elainebelzDetroit]

Such a brilliant line. That "of course" makes it just perfect.

[@M4nusky]

I'm surprised John didn't quote it in this video. Although this line, depending on context, does come with "just a smidge of a crisis" sometimes

[@Anberel]

As a disabled person who is frequently too ill to use my precious time in the way I would like, this quote gives me massive anxiety.

[@elainebelzDetroit]

@@Anberel Same, but less due to my disability (which is a chronic illness) & more due to socioeconomic class. (I'm almost making ends meet between my 4 jobs, but there's a lot I want or need to do that I can't - including professionally.)

[@chibifma]

We're here because we're here because we're here

[@oO0catty0Oo]

GD it this is gonna go through my head all day now

[@heart.9889]

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[@Oakleaf012]

because we’re here because we’re here

[@UnbakedParrot]

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[@silliepixie]

we're here because

[@fantaconsumer]

John, I recommend you read these two excellent books called Looking For Alaska and The Fault in Our Stars, they do a great job tackling mortality and discussing people’s impact on the world. Dunno if you’ve heard of them! :)

[@sexyscientist]

He might have heard of them, but sure he hasn't read them since they're published.

[@wordzmyth]

Cute

[@rmdodsonbills]

Yes, this. I think he has a better handle on this than he gives himself credit for :)

[@OctagonalGolbat]

Watched this from the floor of my kitchen while hiding from my impending thesis deadline. Here's to crises, may we live to see many more. DFTBA.

[@maryjewell461]

You can do this! You'll feel so great when your thesis is done :)

[@ameliafrandsen668]

Amen

[@CWorgen5732]

You probably need to get up and drink some water

[@hopewilliard6781]

Good luck with your thesis! Sending positives vibes!

[@elainebelzDetroit]

@@maryjewell461 I can attest to that!

[@kupaux]

I started watching y'all when I was 17. I am almost 35 now. This video really had me feeling the passage of time.

[@shannonkatherine]

I am turning 35 next week. I was 21 when I started watching. That passage of time thing is absolutely true.

[@mcmoran9267]

I started watching at 12 and am now 25, vlogbrothers is one of the few things that has grown with me, I feel you acutely!

[@rmdodsonbills]

Wait til you get to the point where you realize there are people outside your family who you've known for half a century.

[@jessicawardlaw1821]

💯💯💯

[@Idefilms]

3:41 A+ use of the dramatic pause, John

[@mariannetfinches]

I thought my internet was on the fritz

[@tarabates7088]

@@mariannetfinches Lol!

[@smowka]

My grandpa always said, “I’m over the hill & gaining speed!” (with a smile stretched from ear to ear)

[@milo_thatch_incarnate]

Ugh you don't know how _delighted_ it made me to hear someone reference Mary Oliver!! I never really hear anyone quote her randomly, and I adore her work and own her books. I'm so glad that you know her work too, John. Her words have helped me get through many a dark spot in life. If I may quote her back to you, a favorite of mine is from Black Oaks: "Today is a day like any other: 24 hours, a little sunshine, a little rain. Listen, says ambition, nervously shifting her weight from one boot to another -- why don't you get going? --And to tell the truth, I don't want to let go of the wrists of idleness, I don't want to sell my life for money, I don't even want to come in out of the rain." It reminds me that I don't have to sell my life for money. That not all of life has to be about the ambition of What You're Going to Do Next. That it's okay to just Be. Happy Tuesday, John.

[@lordnikonx]

When you figure it out, please let us know. I haven't been paying much attention to where I've been going these last 37 years, but I figure I should probably put both hands on the wheel and set my GPS soon.

[@FuncleChuck]

If it ain’t broke

[@heather23renae]

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[@wordzmyth]

What brings you joy? If you know do more of it. If you don't just start experimenting 😄 Simple. And when you remeber to each day take a look around and out at this beautiful world with opportunities that may not stay forever. I am almost 3 years free of cancer and it was a wakeup call. Find the beautiful.

[@wordzmyth]

​@@FuncleChuckthis is an excellent point. If you're happy that's an achievement itself

[@skylerwitherspoon]

hey now I'm 25 and I've also gone to physical therapy for chronic back pain sooo

[@skylerwitherspoon]

I would hope that I'm not middle aged 💀

[@Hankler_fish]

Whoa, hello there back pain twin! It's not fun out here!

[@Naiyelli]

I’m 27 and same!

[@collector1150]

@@Hankler_fish Misery loves company...

[@keldakellie9164]

You're going through a different life crisis. DFTBA from a fresh 54

[@Idefilms]

If I may offer a thought, John: In the past year you've done an incredible job of turning the spotlight on other people's work. To name a few: the TATWD cast and crew, Katie Mack, and of course, hard-working TB advocates worldwide. It's been a true joy to encounter these people through you. While those engagements do take up some (lots!) of your time, you're lifting other people up in the process, allowing them to do more and better, AND you're de-centering yourself a bit, which does seem (from the outside, at least) like a more sustainable route, long term. In the same way, as you both continue this transition away from direct day-to-day leadership of Complexly and DFTBA, I hope that you'll be able to find roles that allow you to bring the best of yourselves, while letting other people do what they're great at. Thanks for being here. 💚

[@heather23renae]

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[@elainebelzDetroit]

I feel like (for anyone) decentering oneself takes pressure off & might help with these kinds of crises. I can only imagine that having a bunch of eyes on you only makes you feel more like you have to keep performing - and trying to guess what all those people want/expect. Decentering yourself by empowering others, especially.

[@kashiichan]

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[@blumoon187]

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[@sierrasebring5144]

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[@matthewwalker3131]

I enjoy you framing your lifespan as "going home", that adds a comfort to the idea where it wouldn't be usually

[@Anberel]

THANK YOU! I am turning 44 this year, definitely past half way, and I am freaking out wondering why more people aren’t talking about this. I feel like the expectation is that I’m supposed to be “done” and just gracefully decline *for half my fricken’ life*. I stopped working in my late 30s due to disability (thanks, cancer) and never had kids so I am effectively a retired empty nester, completing all the “adult” milestones that you prepare for in your teens and twenties. I am right there with you John, on this being one big shrug. My time and energy are limited by my health, but also my shrinking mortality. It feels like I spent the first half of my life flinging open every door, and now I am quietly pulling sheets over things and shutting doors for the last time, but…. I am only halfway through! Why am I “done” when I still have almost as much life I as I started with and am way more capable, financially independent, and unburdened by institutional responsibilities like formal education? It’s a heck of a conundrum. Please, if you figure out an answer, even if it’s only an answer that works for you, share with the group. I am open to inspiration.

[@NikBY]

I had a friend turn 49 in May, and I said "Wow, I didn't know you were 3 years older than I am," but then I realized/remembered I'm 48. I'm truly lucky in that I love what I do, but the rest of my life is in a bit of flux (she understated). I am with you in this extended moment of "what will the rest of my life look like?" It's really not comfortable overall, with valleys that feel lower than usual. I hope we're both able to reach out to the family who loves us all the time, the friends who want to help, and whatever other supports are in our grasp, while still finding the time to do the deep internal dive necessary to our own growth. Good luck, John. I'm certain you have a chunk of Nerdfighteria with you in this crappy liminal space.

[@deviaan]

Crash Course went from being something I watched to keep learning something well after I had finished school, to something I share with my kids to help them with what they are learning in school. I know there's been lots of work done with MOOCs and whatnot to make education accessible, but for me Crash Course is the only thing that feels close to what it was like to have a passionate teacher. And that's something that's missing for a lot of children.

[@cortadokid]

when mary oliver wrote "tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?", i don't see as a call to action to do more / be more productive, but a call to be more present and mindful - which is a relief for me

[@a.m.3000]

John, I really respect your candidness about this topic. Being someone in her early 20s who just recently graduated college, quit an unfulfilling job, and is in the process of figuring out what's next, listening to you talk about your own "figuring it out" stage, albeit in a different regard, was both reassuring and grounding. Thank you for sharing what you're comfortable with the broader Internet knowing. It has certainly helped me feel less unnerved by finally being at the crossroads in life that I've been anticipating for so long, and I hope that the "figuring out" transition you're experiencing passes as smoothly and painlessly as possible. Wishing all the best from southern Indiana!

[@rmdodsonbills]

I'm going to let you in on a little secret: The "figuring it out" stage is your whole life. And that's okay. When I was in my mid-20s, my neighbor, who was a student teacher for my class when I was in third grade, told me that "life is what happens while you make other plans." In the intervening 3 decades of figuring it out, that little piece of wisdom has stood me in good stead.

[@apriluno7210]

@@rmdodsonbills thank you for this

[@rmdodsonbills]

@@apriluno7210 You're welcome! Also, I realize that part of why it's okay is because there's always something new to figure out. Thank whoever you (generally) don't have to keep figuring out the same thing all your life :)

[@idaslapter5987]

I found you guys YEARS ago because of Crash Course! And I am so proud to be an ASU employee and alum because of their affiliation with Crash Course. Love you!

[@thenovicenovelist]

I'm 38 and I'm going through this crisis too. I've sacrificed most of my adult life so far working around people I hate so I could help my parents and siblings while paying off student loans. Now, my siblings are married with stable careers, my student loans are paid off, and I'm basically at that point where I realize I have no idea where to go from here and I'm super burned out. I wish you the best of luck in figuring out how to overcome your midlife crisis because it can be rough.

[@pgraterol]

Happy Tuesday! Hope everyone is having a great day!

[@IAmFJ1]

You too.

[@agerardi125]

Thank you! You too!

[@ReddOchober]

46 here too. This is the first year I “felt my age” but it hasn’t slowed me down. I did start checking off a lot of bucket lists three years ago. I too have back pain, most of us do. Staying active, yoga, and pt are my best friends. Good luck with your writings John.

[@elainebelzDetroit]

My (late) grandmother once said, "I looked in the mirror the other day, and I looked like an 82 year old! And I'm only 81!" I've always wondered what different ages are supposed to feel like. How does one feel their age? And how does 82 look different from 81?!?

[@BionicMilkaholic]

Lucky you! I'm 37 and have had 2 partial knee replacements. Getting to the point of being able to function mostly normally, but this past 2 years had me feeling like I was in my 70's. "You're only as old as you feel" can be a curse.

[@katyjans95]

As a teacher, crash course has been an amazing tool for me and my students. I teach fourth and fifth grade gifted students so not everything applies (and I have to adjust the speed of the video to slow John down), but they always enjoy getting to here people talk about interesting stuff. Thank you for making it and thank you to everyone who buys a coin!

[@icarus374]

As someone in the midst of a quarter life crisis, feeling expected to know the point of my life, it's oddly reassuring that even in "middle age" we don't have to know the point

[@mrgrork]

Reassuring isn’t exactly the vibe I’m getting here. More like, your crisis will just extend throughout the remainder of your life as you simultaneously get closer And more aware of your impending death. And every second goes by without fail. Even our idols, the great successes of our society like the Green brothers find themselves increasingly anxious and worried by it. Whether it’s the fear of losing everything or the sadness of not being able to complete it all. Why are you so assured? It doesn’t get better. You can invent a revolutionary treatment for cancer next year and be held as a hero and be awarded billions of dollars and still you will find yourself some days sitting alone in a dark room thinking about death. You will cough and wheeze and be reminded of your mortality. You will remember that Ozymandias stands alone in that vast desert surrounded by sand. We are hairless apes in a chaotic, random universe and we will all die and that’s it. That’s life. Breathing for a bit then dying. Isn’t that nice? No

[@larsatticus6807]

@@mrgrorkWhen you know people older than you don’t have it figured out, it takes the ticking clock off of you. It’s okay to not know for a little while. It’s okay to take things one step at a time.

[@mrgrork]

@@larsatticus6807 the clock never stops ticking it ticks without purpose. An almost malevolent apathy compared with our quest for meaning

[@Karishma_Unspecified]

@@mrgrork I'm noticing strong "nihilistic desperation" vibes in your comments. Kinda reminds me of Hazel's stance on oblivion in TFIOS, tbh (which is not a critique mind you - I absolutely love that book, and also consistently frequent the potholes of nihilism masquerading as existentialism, whilst meandering through the waves of pseudointellectual philosophizing). I just wonder if that is a worldview that is helpful to you. Not to say it isn't true - it is unimaginably hard to conjure a purpose in that which is inherently futile in its finiteness - but just because there is truth in such despair, does not mean there isn't truth in hope... that there isn't purpose in striving to find one... that our efforts mean nothing now because they will mean nothing in the grand scheme of things. To quote John Green (I believe) "We don't live in the grand scheme of things. We live in the here and now". The crisis comes from trying to make our present align with our hopes for the interim future, whilst balancing that with our eschatological anxiety about the long-term future. OP finds comfort in knowing that this crisis is not something you're supposed to have resolved by the time you're 25, so they're not running behind. I think OP's feelings are valid (as all feelings are), understandable, and frankly, the best takeaway one can take from John's video that does not lead into its own crisis. Anyway, I hope you're having a good day! :)

[@mrgrork]

@@Karishma_Unspecified is it better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all? I used to believe all the pain in life was compensated by small moments of bliss. When compared with the alternative of non-life - of not being able to strive and gain fulfillment. Amadeus, being loved by god. Certainly many of our myths and legends revolve around the concept of sacrifice. It’s held up as a virtue, usually with some sort of abstract compensation like life after death or realized stoicism. But I don’t believe that anymore. It’s a fabrication upheld by our ignorance of the true reality of suffering. If you are or ever go vegan you understand and accept the tragedy of life. You see just how messed up is the world we’ve created. You look back at the arguments which justify Sapiens (by Sapiens) that separate us from all the other animals. Then you look out at nature and find the savagery which we are apparently separate from. Perhaps you read a smattering of German 18th century musings on the nature of the universe. That all things which exist necessarily ‘strive’ by some means (whether consciously or unconsciously in the case of minerals and perhaps plants) without rest. That in order to continue striving we must consume other things which are striving. Nietzche would later adapt this line of thought and replace the word striving with willpower. Nevertheless we must consume each day just to carry on this ultimately futile existence. And now in modern day we have created such behemoths of machinery to automate this process on a massive scale. Now we enslave hundreds of billions of animals and dominate the natural world around us. Not that we are any closer to meaning as a society, or are morally superior to our past selves in any way. In fact we are not morally superior to the animals we enslave. But in order to circumvent the Schopenhauer dilemma (and other such moral quandaries) we pretend that Sapiens alone are conscious and worthy of moral status or freedom. Of course that’s not true. But all we seem to do with our ‘advanced’ intelligence is enslave and kill and pollute and create weapons of mass distraction and write poetry about death. We croak like the rest though, no matter how fanciful our poetry. And that’s the world we live in, it’s cruel and uncaring and full of plot holes and fantasies. And the next Great Ape over has just as little clue as you do. And the apes who parade around as if they do are a ruse. And all your loved ones will die. But first you have to watch them get old and unhealthy and suffer physically. And you have to watch them clutch to their religions to cope with the unyielding terror of mortality. What hope do I have left? What reason would I have to hope for life after death. Is it much the same as this life? There are no satisfactory proofs for the existence of God. Can we trust reason and rationality alone to guide us towards meaning? All the enlightenment era thinkers are dead, what good came of their scientific breakthroughs? There are more hairless apes suffering on this floating rock than ever before. More aware of their suffering. More ignorant willfully in a world with an increasing pool of knowledge. And then there are the hopeful young progressives - the atheists and agnostics just trying to leave the world better off. Knowing you will die and accepting it. Admitting many of the truths which I admit. Well then that is fine. I’m sure you live busy lives full of things to keep you occupied. That seems necessary to stave off the demons. But how much do you participate in the tragedy of our world? Do you eat meat, dairy or eggs? Is your happy life based on the suffering of many others? Are we privileged and blind to it? I mean really blind. So blind that we have arguments for why we aren’t blind, arguments defending why we should be eating meat or dairy. Arguments which call upon nature itself. Anyhow, that just gets me back into the ‘nature itself is cruel and indifferent’ spiel. Thanks for your thoughtful response though, I hope you’re having a good day 🙏🏻

[@Mahoney1]

I'll be 60 in about 2 weeks. This birthday seems to be hitting me harder than my birthdays up until now. I have never been very ambitious, but now that I have a few things I would like to do, I feel like I am out of time. Don't wait!

[@misspat7555]

When my daughter was born when I was 35, I was in ecstasy for over a YEAR. My family was finally complete! I was married, and had a son and a daughter! Granted, son was from previous marriage, but… well, close enough! But then, “what now?” came creeping in on little cat feet. What was my goal now? What would drive me into that good night as the dream of a family of my own had driven me up life’s great hill? Well, raising those kids… and surviving the death of my husband from cancer as our daughter was entering kindergarten… has kept me pretty busy thus far, and now I have a full-time job… but I see the day coming when I will have FREE TIME, and also FREEDOM (which I didn’t really have when last I didn’t have young kids to hover over), and I do feel the need to do some stuff to help my community, such as I am able to. In particular, I want to do an annual “Longest Night” prayer service at my church acknowledging that Christmas isn’t a joyful time for everyone. It’s beautiful when we get the opportunity to support others as age gives us more resources to work with, but it is indeed a very serious matter to ponder! 🤔

[@jennifersaar1611]

Boy, can I relate. When you hit a certain point, you suddenly realize that the childhood dream you had about being a marine biologist? Yeah, probably not gonna happen. And then you think of all the things you won’t get to do, and it sucks. So hard. But the benefit to that realization is that you will ultimately be forced to narrow your focus to who and what you CAN be. And that can be truly amazing.

[@amasterofone]

As a fellow forty-something, in a different kind of therapy, a lot of my mental energy lately has been focused on making the second half better than the first half both for myself and those around me as a byproduct.

[@alixila]

I turned 40 this year and a month later got diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, so I am quite literally feeling the pain of my mid-life crisis right now.

[@rachaelcaslow5166]

I can relate 100%, last year I turned 40 and ended up in the ER with Anemia, had infusions, and ultimately had major surgery. Not the best way to start a new decade of life.

[@JasonFrankenstein]

At 41 I was diagnosed with two different skin cancers... And I'll take that over RA. I'm sorry friend. There's some good meds to help you. It'll be a while to figure it out though.

[@Goldlucky13]

i like reading these comments and knowling none of us are alone in our crises and uncertainty.

[@jms547]

As a fellow halfway-home-er, trying to prepare for a job interview tomorrow at which I'll no doubt be forced to justify why I'm a perfect fit for this job which by right should go to a much younger person, but meanwhile also trying to make a big decision about whether to even stay on this career path, saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame. Same same same samesamesame SAME.

[@fabregas10kleine]

I'm only 25 but I have also been having issues with mortality and how little time in life I have to do all the things I want to do. At some point, it'll sink into my brain that some things have to be sacrificed, but for the moment, I'll live in my delusion that I can do it all.

[@franny5156]

3:40 I felt that silence. I'm not at the halfway point yet(I hope) but I still have to make decisions on what my priorities are. I'm working towards mybachelors degree and am trying to figure out if I should go for a masters degree or not and if I do if I'll stay at the same uni. And like I'm getting into many different hobbys right now and switching them around and I don't know what my priority is there either... reading, writing, crocheting, embroidery, singing, playing instruments, going skating, etc. I don't know. And that's okay

[@sakunaruful]

It’s good to have hobbies to break up the stress and monotony of college, homework and classes. Try to fit some fun classes in your schedule for personal enrichment.

[@franny5156]

@@sakunaruful yep having hobbies is nice, I'm in germany(fachhochschule) and don't have a lot pf fun subjects I can pick that like aren't part of my main subject? Like I could do them but it doesn't help for my bachelor

[@sakunaruful]

@@franny5156 What’s your major? Maybe if it’s possible, you could take a minor either unrelated or related to your major?

[@franny5156]

@@sakunaruful I'm not sure how majors and minors work? My course is called Renewable Energy technologies and I am happy with it, I'm just also wondering if I'm learning specific enough things to get a job with it... but my motto is " it's gonna be fine" anyways xD

[@sakunaruful]

@@franny5156 My bad, you told you are studying in Germany. I should’ve asked you what course you are taking. What do you like learning about in Renewable Energy technologies?

[@sepp_gw]

I love a lot of things about being a nerdfighter but I think the thing I love the most is hearing John, put so well into words, the exact things that bring me anxiety.

[@danielarthur04]

Maybe the point is that there is no point, we’re here because we’re here? Maybe a full and meaningful life isn’t knowing exactly which one road you are going down, but having built up a range of things that you place such value on it feels almost too much to hold it all in the same moment. I hope I have a midlife crisis, because I think it will mean my early life has had many different pockets of joy and discovery that continue to pull at my attention.

[@mascot4950]

As far as I can tell, any definition of "meaning" requires a consciousness to decide that something has meaning. In that sense, as far as we currently know, the human species is what gives meaning to the universe. A full and meaningful life is whatever each individual decides that means for them. Too much anxiety exists because people feel like someone else (society, celebrities, what have you) are the arbiters of what makes for a meaningful life. Having to choose between multiple equally desirable options is never fun, but it tends to work itself out in the end. After all, it's not easy to make a genuinely poor decision if every option is one you enjoy.

[@SotN]

Spot on, as always! I just turned 45 and am having the same crisis. And similarly, no answers. But at least, we know the question.

[@JDSileo]

John - I have spent most of my life contemplating this question. I have come to realize that no matter what that anxiety mosquito will be there by my side when death comes to greet me. In my low moments I am reminded of the first vlogbrothers I ever watched. I was in my first apartment hundreds of miles from anyone I knew in a job I hated. I had resolved to take the long nap and even had the logistics in order. I was scrolling KZbin stumbled upon Hank Green who told me about "The Game" and informed me that I lost it somehow. (Readers of this comment, you know what you need to do.) In recent years I have come to identify other games of like nature and realized that life is quite literally that same game. It is the game we cannot not play...When that hit me I kind of got mad at first. But then I realized it didn't matter. All that mattered was the mission that I felt was necessary in order to leave the world better than when it started. How long I have until I hit the great filter is no longer material. If you have a grand dream not yet fulfilled then that is your answer. If you don't, congrats! Enjoy the heaven you helped build. P.S. For me the point is to bring about true global democracy, in hopes it is World Peace and not Warp Drive that is the prerequisite First Contact. If I'm right I'm on the first shuttle to Risa. If I'm wrong at least we got World Peace.. 🤞

[@JDSileo]

I lost the game. kzbin.info/www/bejne/o6msfWeqncdmhKM

[@puppyDawg128]

Dangit, you made me lose the game!

[@puppyDawg128]

(well, the little mental The Game. It's good to put the "long game" in perspective sometimes, and like... yeah, it's a really good way of putting it to say, "life is a game we cannot not play".)

[@JDSileo]

​@@puppyDawg128 If you are interested in metaing "the game" to get victory consider this: You spend most of your life in a state of not losing the game as you spend most of your time thinking about other things. You could reason that if you take the aggregate time you spend losing the game and compare it to the aggregate time you weren't then you will find that you have, on balance, WON the game.☯

[@PeacelordApropos]

Slightly younger then you and I lost my little brother 2 years ago to a very short fight with cancer. Life is one he'll of a Rollercoaster ride

[@miedan21]

Release those parts of yourself that you can trust in others and give those actions away completely. Touch only that which is too precious to give away and that is you and your purpose. Do not feed the hunger of what might be or could be for it already is and will be.

[@jmsl_910]

good way of putting it

[@thehomeschoolinglibrarian]

I turned 40 this year and lost my mom this past September so I definitely get the mortality thing. Now I also have a daughter who will be 5 in two months who can both make me feel young and incredibly old often at the sametime.

[@tarabates7088]

I'm so sorry for your loss. :-(

[@VAMPYRICBASSIST]

I have followed John and Hank for more than 10 years, and listening to this makes me aware of how much time has passed since University, and I also feel blessed and fortunate to not being dead.❤❤❤

[@isabelpires927]

Nearly 45 and I feel this deeply. Pretty sure I will not read all my books and knit all my yarn and visit all the places I wish I could see, which is a sobering thought. One silver lining - My patience for things I feel will waste my time is pretty much gone and I give myself grace for letting them go. Films that upset me, books that irritate me, people that are toxic. Life is too short and I am more than half way there.

[@AComfyPanda]

Not knowing what the point is or if there even is one is something I struggle with regularly. But for now, at least we have each other on this wild journey. Thanks John.

[@johnhmaloney]

I went through a big midlife crisis for most of my forties. My therapist explained it as what happens when you switch from looking at your age as time since birth to looking at it as time until death. The thing that ultimately cured it is realizing that there is no time until death, you never know when it's going to happen.

[@Chestermcfly420]

I’m 40 years old and I never thought 💭 of it like that before that I’m half way home 🏠

[@MatthewSchellGaming]

What raises my anxiety the most besides reading all the stories I read about people leaving us too early, I sense my memory not being as good as it used to be. My grandmother suffered with dementia and scares me that I could too in the future. In all reality it probably won’t happen for a long time. She didn’t get bad til her 80s, but doesn’t ease my fears.

[@AmiCestLaVie]

I got a John Green ad when I clicked on this video 😂 and was very confused. (It was a NOCD ad)

[@phoebegilliland8897]

I did, too! The algorithm was paying attention.

[@anotherrandomperson9174]

I think this is the first time in like a week that I haven’t gotten one

[@stvbuys]

John! It’s ok to not have a point. You don’t owe us any points. Also, I’m reminded of some Ze Frank said in his video “Be Yourself”: “Do you want a point? I hope not, because I’m all out of points. But I have a confusion if you have the time.” We do have the time and we’re happy for you to share the confusion.

[@mayafraser2086]

as a 15 year old, this is extremely comforting to know that we will be scared and confused even when we're halfway home

[@dionnajenkins3335]

As someone going through a one-third life crisis, thank you for this ❤.

[@levimetzler3148]

I used to watch your videos ages 12-16. I listened to your podcast at my first job when I was 17. Now I am 22 and returning to your videos. I feel really existentially lost but I find these videos comforting. Thank you.

[@catherineeeee132]

So I’m currently 30 and having a very intense mid/quarter life crisis. And I cannot tell you how comforting this video was for me. Just…the not being alone of it all.

[@skylerwitherspoon]

which will come out next year!!! omg!!! I love something to look forward to in 2025!!!

[@emboltoriolindy5655]

Hiiiii, Im an avid reader of your books John. Your books changed my perspectives about life and inspired me to be better, thank youuu ❤

[@daveayerstdavies]

At some point after 40 you will experience what skydivers call 'ground rush'. What at one time was in the far distance growing imperceptibly slowly, suddenly appears to approach at breakneck speed. I'm now 68 and the last decade seems to have passed like a single year in my teens.

[@nubzoar]

Puff levels are high today. Thinking carefully about the direction you're walking is great, just don't let the thinking interrupt the doing. Trust yourself to make the best decision for you with the information you have right now, not the information you might have later with hindsight, and start walking. Even if it ends up being the wrong direction, that just means your story has turns.

[@Homer-OJ-Simpson]

I’m one year younger and I have the exact thoughts and feelings as you. Quarter life crisis the pressure you put on yourself about how your path to the future is going (are you in position for the future you want?) and mid life crisis is about your past and feeling like you haven’t accomplished what you wanted to and time is running out

[@brysiax3]

I've watched it all, and seen the screen text, but I didn't focus that much on a message so would like to watch one more time

[@thandiallen6042]

My dad died aged 65, my grandmother (his mum) is 97 and still going strong. As a 35-year-old, I now find myself trying to shape life as if I am both "over halfway home" and "still have at least 60 years to go". I actually find this helpful in many ways: it's a good reminder that you don't know how long you've got, so you need to prioritise the things you would (hypothetically) regret not doing if the answer ended up being "died too young", and also anticipate that you may find yourself walking the happy reality of having many more years to do the things you consider important in life. Now do I know the point? Absolutely not. But I do think it's helpful to have both trousers of time in your head when making decisions.

[@theoasterion8503]

This reminds me of the Wendell Berry poem: "It may be that when we no longer know what to do we have come to our real work, and that when we no longer know which way to go we have come to our real journey. The mind that is not baffled is not employed. The impeded stream is the one that sings."

[@dylanthompson4583]

I turned 24 this week and I’m feeling quite similar. The desire to maximize my one life while still enjoying it is a constant struggle.

[@rmdodsonbills]

I don't recommend focusing on maximizing. It's enough, I think, to just make things better.

[@jw48335]

On the last day with my 18 year old dog and in the midst of chronic pain, this video hit hard.

[@Laynelass]

Sending so much love and peace your way

[@silliepixie]

Hugs to you 😔I am so sorry that you are going through that.

[@zam6877]

I am dealing with this too Working to make peace with regrets I cannot change is part of that process

[@KayleeDavisBlueBox]

as someone far, far younger, but also currently jobless and similarly directionless - thank you for being honest with us, your audience. it's appreciated more than you know.

[@waffles3629]

Same, seeing John being relatable is very comforting.

[@TheCouncil-zg4vp]

I feel this. While I am far younger than the average for a keen awareness of mortality (20s, at least for a little longer), I went to far too many funerals before my 18th birthday to not be aware. Here's what I've found: -Prioritize how you feel first. Prioritize your rest, your health, your physical, mental and emotional self. Ignoring these things saps your energy to do the things you love most, and over time will leave you with less energy to do them. -Next, prioritize the important people in your life. The people who make you happy because they like who you are first, and what you do a distant second. These are the people who care about your whole being, the ones who will grieve you most deeply when you're gone. These are the people who love you deepest, and time with them is precious -Third, prioritize the things that make you feel energized from investing in. There's good work to do everywhere, but work that fills you on the way costs less energy. It's down here though, because work of any kind should not be a coping skill, it makes work too important. If you need to work to feel okay with your brain, that's a recipe for overworking, burnout, and neglected relationships. Work doesn't grieve you when you're gone, it just grieves the output you could have had. No matter how vital, how necessary the work, the work must come after self and important relationships, as the work will never know you or love you or tend your needs

[@ajrobbins368]

Thank you for this comment. Seriously. Reminds me why I care so much about health and good people and purpose, and in what order is healthiest.

[@JaTjr32]

When I was 25, I did warehouse work with a bunch of 50+ guys. They loved to gripe about their backs and whatever. My response was always the same: Yeah, being old sounds awful and I don't want to do it. I'm thinking of a hard cap at 40. I turn 39 in a few weeks. I don't think I've told the joke in 3 or so years. And it was to someone that had heard it a billion times. I'll start telling it again at 41 with an extra line. "Wait, I missed it?! Aww shucks, I'll get it time."

[@GabrielPettier]

I demand a POINT! T_T (i get it though, there is not enough time, but you have already demultiplicated your time so much, by being so effective about helping not just one, but multiple important causes, i think you also deserve a little rest, and enjoying your family and friends, and decide on what to do "next" when you feel like it's going to be not just worth your time, which is sadly limited, no need to sugarcoat it, but also bringing you joy and satisfaction, no matter how incomplete it'll ever feel). Take care.

[@emalieth8220]

Same age. Thanks for validating the fact that sometimes we have no answers to the questions we feel are the most important to us. People tend to post "end results" or what makes them proud. The space between the question and the answer disappears from view which each time makes me feel as if I am not supposed to be there... even if it is actually the place where life is constructed.

[@stevenchristensen4542]

I turned 26 on the 26th (only now that I’ve written that do I realize that particular coincidence), and as someone who also is entirely incapable of going a single day without contemplating his death and just what the finite and families of human existence means for me personally, both day to day and by the time I actually die, it’s kind of encouraging to hear someone whom I respect a great deal also have no idea what they’re doing or where they’re going. You’ve got 20 years on me, John, and yet as I pass the first quarter ( if I’m lucky) of my life, having recently been rejected from every grad school that I applied to in the hopes of someday becoming an English, creative writing, or literature professor, I feel paralyzed regardless. The world gets more complicated and harder to handle. To quote a Hozier song, “It’s not my arms that will fail me, / but this world takes more strength than it gave me.” It’s been a real struggle to find what I want to do with myself while I wait the full calendar year until I can reapply and hopefully get accepted and continue my life plan (all the while anxious that I might have to change that plan entirely). I think about the transition of act 4 and act 5 of Hamlet a lot. The change in Hamlet when he returns to Denmark, clearly a different man from when he left. No so paralyzed by the enormity of the actions that lay before him. I sometimes wonder what it was like, what it felt like, to have that near serenity of certainty in yourself, regardless of the outcome of what you finally choose. I feel like I’m trying to find that sensation. Anyway, this is a long way for me to say that I suppose it feels good to know that finding “the point” doesn’t have to be immediate or otherwise bedrock. It can shift, change, get delayed, or be missed entirely, and that’s okay. We’re all just trying to find or make that meaning for ourselves. Whatever the point is, I hope it’s a good one, whichever we all land on.

[@brianw1620]

I feel you John, and I'm further along. I wish that I had accomplished half of what you have. Been a desperately poor writer instead of a technical writer. My bad joke there is, "I write the books that no one reads." I won't even go into the always-on existential crisis.

[@GuineaPigEveryday]

I think a lot of us here might be too young to understand what sort of perspective we’ll have in midlife, but I do always wonder whether I should be worrying more about how little time I have left, or not worry at all. Becuz when I seriously consider the things I do with my day, usually sleeping through most of it, procrastinating the rest, avoiding the work and actual studies and even hobbies, then I really wouldn’t get anywhere because I’d be feeling like a failure most of the time. I think we all expect to be somewhere satisfactory by the time we’re in our 40s-50s but thats not assured or inevitable. At least one of my parents has their dream job and the other has seemingly been in a midlife crisis since their 30s and taken it out on everyone around them in bitterness, but now at 60 seems to be somewhere satisfactory for themselves. But I myself have no idea if I’m gonna end up anywhere good at the rate I’m living life, maybe I should finally take the time to read Turtles All The Way Down though because I felt the movie had a great ending that talked about this fear.

[@zupergraauwkegames8640]

I'm getting into the start of my adult life witch is probably quite different from your situation. But I can't help but feel that the not knowing your priorities is quite similar. And I have found that as long as I keep doing stuf that seems right with my best knowledge of the moment. I'll be moving in a good direction. Not knowing is (for me at least) part of moving forward.

[@dennisturgeon7019]

John, on the off chance you see this, I was once granted the privilege of living in Indianapolis, and having worked at a particular Jimmy Johns as delivery driver, delivered your sandwich once which was kinda neat, and Indy is such a part of my heart and story, and I've been a fan of yours for so long, I just wanted to comment about how cool it is to be a part of the community you have built, and to share in the very cool experience of walking the canal trail to butler and enjoying the garden and persephone statue there, I;m sure we've sat on the same benches enjoying it, and thats so cool.

[@paulschlobohm7226]

Thank you for reminding me of something that has been weighing on me as well. At 62 with several health issues , it is a reminder of our finality on this beautiful planet with our families. Much Love to you and Hank.

[@geeksdo1tbetter]

So glad to still be here, to share a smidge of a crisis with ya'll! Heck yeah, old Nerdfighters!!

[@HaShomeret]

I've been watching since vlogbrothers started when I was in college. It has always been so helpful to watch you guys do hard stuff before me.

[@laurasaurasrex]

My dad said something to me last weekend that really resonated with me and I think may resonate with you/other nerdfighters as well. My granddad passed away a few weeks ago and he nearly made it to 90, and he was lucky enough to enjoy good health most of those years. My dad said to me that he recently had the realisation that when my granddad was his age, he'd just had me, and in the 30 years since then, he feels like he's lived a whole lifetime, one that was quite distinct from the life that he lived before me. His realisation was that (if he's as lucky as Granddad was and can make it another 30 years) he has a whole nother lifetime to live. My dad wasn't just saying that. My mum left him shortly after I was born and by the time I was two she had moved with me from England to Australia, and he would only speak to and see me in short, irregular bursts from then on. That happening completely changed his life, prompted him to examine everything important to him, to travel and get new experiences, to grow up. I think this is probably something that happens to some extent to most people when they have a child. It was an experience that delineated his life into "before" and "after", and I suspect the death of his father will be another one of those experiences. I learned my compulsive optimism from my dad, and there are times when I think that we could probably cool it with the glass half full conviction. To be honest, I don't think that "I have a whole nother lifetime to live!" is any less anxiety inducing than "I only have a limited amount of time on this earth". Though younger than you, I've been plagued with the fear that time is running out for at least the last decade, though I could not tell you exactly what that means, or why it cohabitates so comfortably with my almost equal fear of life being so long and so full of me. I think though, the latter fear can do some work soothing the former. I have lived a lifetime by my dad's measurement, and holy moly has it felt like that for me too. I don't think I can comprehend the idea of living two more of these. I don't think humans are designed to do that any more than we're designed to comprehend the vastness of the universe. I think this video is doing excellent work of reflecting on the enormity of your life so far. I suppose through commenting this, I'm hoping that you see that the other half (if you are indeed halfway home) may be just as enormous and will take and give just as much as the first half. I also hope that you know that even though you have had an incredible impact on many people's lives, it would never be a waste for you to do things that bring you joy more than you do things to decrease worldsuck. Uncle Ben had a point when he said that with great power comes great responsibility, but I don't think he would have told Peter to keep putting on the suit forever or to never take a holiday. If you've got a whole nother lifetime (more, even!) to live, you could take a sabbatical now and then to write or read or connect with people or any other activity that makes you feel at home in your skin, secure in the knowledge that even those things are a way of decreasing worldsuck and you can come back to the big picture stuff at any time. Also, selfishly, I would read anything you would write. In the words of Hazel Grace, frankly, I'd read your shopping lists. I hope you find peace in the midst of this ongoing crisis called life. 💛

[@dawnfancher9007]

I’m 49 and I feel this. No idea where I go from here. Since I don’t really have options to choose from I’m just making sure to fine joy and wonder and awe wherever I can, as often as a can. But not knowing where to go from here is pretty terrifying.

[@stephaniecastaneda7012]

screamed and freaked out when one of my favorite people in the planet referenced one of my favorite poets and one of my favorite poems and lines (I have that poem framed and hung in my bedroom so I’m reminded every day) extra grateful today for the John Greens and Mary Olivers of the world

[@tracekerr7097]

I’ll be 51 this year and the questions of what do I want to do and why loom larger every day. Thank you for sharing your existential crisis, cause bro, you are not alone

[@katherinetaylor5638]

that pause at 3:41 is the most empty space ive ever experienced in a vlogbrothers vid. it was extremely effective. and unsettling.

[@ersiedakin37]

I'm 71. I TOTALLY get it. (My back is killing me, and I should get knee surgery, and... blah, blah, blah...)

[@bhrutledge]

I literally watched this right after talking to my therapist about mid-life priorities and existential dread, with a little touch of "what's even the point". Wow. It's comforting to see this sentiment shared by someone I can relate to, even though our circumstances are very different (although we're both middle-aged white guys, well-off in our own ways). Thank you, John.

[@thatjillgirl]

I have felt this increasing awareness of my own mortality since entering my 30s. I'm probably not quite at the halfway mark yet (although you never really know), but I'm far enough along that I always have it in the back of my mind that my time is limited. Honestly, I find it very motivating. It helps kick my butt into gear to not get too lazy and keep my life on track. Not just with accomplishing big bucket list goals, but even in smaller day-to-day ways, like keeping a tidier, less cluttered home a la Swedish death cleaning. It can be good to put a little bit of thought into how you really want to spend your time.

[@lynnj9721]

"Early late life crisis" makes my knees hurt. Also, why are we having the same-ish life crisis, you have done so many good things. I know brains do not work this way but I think you are doing wonderfully.

[@nataliesteiner]

This is so relevant, even for me in my 30s. I feel a sense of urgency so often. I want to prioritize 100 things but can’t. I have a song called Midlife Crisis I put out this year, it’s about love - but I noticed the title of your video because of this, and I loved everything you said.

[@theuncommonviewer]

I really appreciate these thoughts, and all those sharing their feelings in the comments too. Making me feel not alone today.

[@yutooober]

Not having an answer is the best way to find an answer to these types of problems, I have found. Sitting deeply within the uncertainty and anxiety gives you a chance to start a conversation with parts of you far deeper than the one posing the question. Good luck to you, John.

[@traylorillo]

I am 53, a bit older than John, and definitely feeling the finite quality of life in full effect. It’s sobering to suddenly realize you are in the early part of late life. Also, much like John, I haven’t quite nailed down those priorities of focus. The playing field keeps shifting…so it’s not so easy.

[@jrpstonecarver]

I doubt you will ever see this, John, but if you do, know you are not alone. (Yeah... you already know that. I get it. Sorry.) People take different paths to the thing you called "a smidge of a crisis". My path started at age 25 or so, when I realized I had done already accomplished all my big, preprogrammed goals at that point. And now, well over three decades later, the crisis persists. It's just a low simmer now, but it's still there, and I suspect I will have to live with it forever. I hope you have better luck!

[@adamphilip1623]

You're so right about nerdfighteria, it's a beautiful, vital community that is so, so important to so many of us! I initially connected with my friend Bex over p4a and I'm so incredibly grateful!

[@jojo02114]

Praying for you, John. The big questions can get overwhelming sometimes.

[@cocosnachos]

Pretty crazy how he was technically my history teacher since my whole class consisted of his crash courses lol. And now I am watching him having a midlife criss. We love you john green thank you for teaching me history ❤