A Nightmare on Elm Street reviewed by Mark Kermode

[@allaboutdmagic]

Kermode's skill as a critic is he can embiggen an obscure horror gem or sidelined European film and bring it to a more mainstream audience's attention. In this he is invaluable.

[@MrMartGonzo]

".......And then it stops" so at least there's one positive thing to say.

[@RamBam3000]

Robert Englund is a lovely man. I know this first hand because I had the good fortune to meet him at a memorabilia fest. So I now have a signed picture of Freddy Kreuger reaching out with his razor glove saying "To Tony, Sleep Kills, Freddy." Awesome. This new version sounds dreadful.

[@harveyhalloway]

Very amusing when Mark starts on about "there's a claw" after about 5 mins...

[@WOMENOFTROY]

I love listening to a true connoisseur. He knows his stuff. When he said the original Elm Street was surrealist cinema my head exploded. That is so right on the mark.

[@xfilian1]

I love listening to Mark review Michael Bay films. I just want to be around for one when Mark reviews the Bay re-make of The Exorcist. Please, let it happen - just for his review if nothing else!

[@callumsutherland2954]

Thank god that never happened. Mark may well have given himself a heart attack through anger.

[@generichuman2044]

I think Mark would give up on films at that point and we'd never see a review from him again

[@shadow6543]

Freddy Kruger IS the Boogieman..he was so creepy in the first film because of the surrealist horror, hes the personification of a nightmare...he wasnt that in the new film creepy but not the unsettling ghoul he was in the earlier films, the first film is one of the best horror movies ever made

[@jonny5779]

God... Mark was on top form here, so elequent, knowledgeable, passionate...he dosen't just sleep and grumble his way through his review, he gets properly fired up! Love it! You're a brilliant man Mark🤗☺

[@tmrezzek5728]

Awesome review! And to quote author David Thomson: "Michael Bay makes noisy garbage."

[@0ooTheMAXXoo0]

There is quite a range of stuff that Bay has made. The writer and producers make a huge difference in film making... Just like when people talk about actors making good or bad films, a director who is not writing and producing his own stuff is just one part of a giant team.

[@heatrayzvideo3007]

The Nightmare remake was the one of the worst films I have EVER seen and I have watched most of the Troma back cat, I collected all the Freddy films because despite their faults I was fond of them but the remake got taken to the charity shop for re-sale!!

[@SacClass650]

I love Mark Kermode!!! One of my favourite personalities

[@OsofoGriot]

One of the few kermodeandmayo videos with a blurred, in-motion, full gesticulation mode, flappy hands Kermode as the video thumbnail.

[@GeoNeilUK]

And next up in the relentless march of the bank managers out to make a quick buck by remaking a classic .....RoboCop!!!

[@o.b.herbie4135]

He looks mor like a power ranger than Robocop!!

[@dalhar20]

The original Nightmare had a genuine character to it, yet Michael Bay manages to take a movie franchise and completely suck all the soul it had left. Hollywood needs to understand putting beautiful people in movies, doesn't mean they shouldn't have character.

[@shawndimery]

I met Kermode outside Waterstones last year in Leeds, It was awesome, Kermode is a genius.

[@dravenuk]

I love the original Nightmare on Elm Street. No way I'd see this. Being from Michael Bay's Platinum Dunes remake factory it was always gonna stink.

[@hersce]

I love the way Kermode's face changes as soon as he utters the name "Bay"...

[@blokey8]

I heard Craven tell a different story, on Mark's Slasher documentary- apparently it was a dishevelled-looking man who he saw out of a window as a boy. The man then spent hours eyeballing his window, clearly "getting off on frightening someone" and indeed scaring the heck out of Craven. The doc's on youtube somewhere, well worth a look at if you haven't seen it already :)

[@spikezephaniah9295]

Absolutely nailed it! This film really upset me, the original was so powerful and the remake was just a facile mess which somehow sunk lower than even the worst of the sequels.

[@0ooTheMAXXoo0]

Did not even know this remake existed but if the original is special at all then a re-make has little hope beyond monetary gains. I doubt anyone involved thought they could make a better movie than the original. But that does not matter. What matters is that the name of the film and the names of the cast will ensure that the film will make a lot more money than it cost to make. Think of how popular the Transformer films are despite their utter lack of quality filmmaking. No one involved in those films were trying to make a great film. They were making a thrill-ride with lots of name recognition to help with popularity.

[@c.m.9369]

There was something good about all these soulless remakes. They made Mark go on and on about the old horror classics (all movies that came out before I was even born), and made me want to go back, watch them and understand the history of them. So I did. And I never regreted it. Although, ironically, the long-arm scene Mark describes here is actually one of the scenes that has aged the worst. Obviously, effects are always going to age, but many of the in the first "Nightmare" have held up rather well... except, as I said, unfortunatelly, this arm-scene.

[@gerard_torbitt]

I would handwave that scene as "dream logic", tho to be fair, that movie is beloved af. Classic horror does so much more than the Hollywood types will ever understand.

[@EvilestGem]

That's why you have to remember it in context. Those first few Nightmare films had a real impact on me just like Mark when I was a teen and yes some of the scenes were (at that time) deeply profound. Many of my friends have seen most of the old films again and they always say the same thing "it's terrible.." etc. Well, I know it would be if I was to go back so I don't and I keep that 'romance' with the old films safe and sound unless there's an exception.

[@WordUnheard]

Now that Halloween (2018) is a huge success, both financially and in quality, we will see a resurgence in movies like A Nightmare On Elm Street and Friday The 13th. Only, I believe, that they will go for quality, and learn from the mistakes that Platinum Dunes made. Although I think they would all be in great hands at Blumhouse, I would LOVE to see A24 produce A Nightmare On Elm Street. What an amazing movie that could be.

[@RamBam3000]

That could be it. I read it Doug Bradley's (yes, *that* Doug Bradley, as in Pinhead) "Behind the Mask of a Horror Actor" and, since I lent it to a friend who never gave it back, I can't check the reference Awesome book, too, BTW. I met Bradley when he was meant to be giving a lecture on it at my local more arty inclined cinema, who hadn't advertised it properly, so there was only him, me, and a Scottish couple. We wound up chatting about it in the bar upstairs.

[@Dougtheslugmcdoug]

Right after that I feel like watching Nightmare on Elm Street... The old one I know and love.

[@simonthebison]

Can't wait for Mark's review of Pain & Gain (The latest Michael Bay film) this week!

[@callumsutherland2954]

You were certainly in for a treat with _that_ review!

[@stevemitchell3464]

I never saw the remake but I wasn't expecting it to be as good as the original, they never are if rarely at all. Like Kermode or not he makes total sense here.

[@0ooTheMAXXoo0]

The first Nightmare was a great film and crazy scary... Holds up like any of the great classic films..

[@TheSMLIFfilms]

BIG CLAW! Kills 'em!

[@captain07234]

The jack booted bank managers who come storming through in pursuit of a quick buck has to be the best description of Michael Bay and his remake bunch.

[@floragosling84]

OK, but did you like it?

[@RamBam3000]

Actually, he was traveling down Main Street, Dallas. The Elm Street route was rejected for some reason.

[@alisaurus4224]

The motorcade turned right off of Main onto Houston St at Dealey Plaza, then immediately left onto Elm. They were definitely on Elm when the shots were fired. There is a marker on the pavement of Elm Street at the spot, which i have seen many times as i live in DFW.

[@chanceie12]

Don't care what anyone says the first NOES is a classic horror movie , ive seen that film more times then any other , mostly when i was 8 - 15 years old , still love it. Like Kermode said its just another excuse for Bay to get more money.

[@RamBam3000]

Freddie Kreuger was also inspired by a very badly burned guy that Wes Craven once saw. I think he lived nearby Craven or something. Unfortunately, Craven couldn't stop staring. The man turned round and promptly scared the crap out of Craven (interesting name for a horror movie director BTW), yelling at him "WTF are YOU staring at, brat?!"

[@freddielee1831]

Spot on Mark, spot on. 10 years later and still one of the worst remakes of all time.

[@minderbinderas]

I love how Mark phrases it at the start to make it sound like Bay is pursuing some kind of personal vendetta against him by destroying the films of his youth.

[@farneyblakeley]

it's nice to hear someone who appreciates what made the original Nightmare special, not just another horror movie

[@0ooTheMAXXoo0]

It is a classic because a lot of people find it special. The accountants that made the new film got what they wanted I am sure...

[@LoomVideos]

Fascinating - very intereing and intelligent chap! I always enjoy his enthusiasm.

[@hypnocilicdreams]

You can tell kermode is a goodie. I bet he hasnt got a bad bone in his body. Grumpy ones, maybe :) But I love him and i think he`s a very nice man & perfect critic

[@cinimatics]

Hey everyone, I just want to let you know that there is a conspiracy of sorts, but its not about making us dumb. Its just a marketing principle. They're remaking everything because they know that a movie (or anything else) with a recognizable name will automatically generate more interest than something totally new and original. Its about the brand. You only have to fill the seats to make cash, not actually make a good movie. That's why we have things like this and Twilight. It's a business.

[@0ooTheMAXXoo0]

Twilight films were not remakes of anything. They were adapted from a book series... With so many real examples, why did you mention Twilight? Book adaptations have made for many of the best films in history...

[@sunsheiiiiine]

Mark has some nice Harrington Jackets.

[@wezhawes3359]

Indeed. That's why i mentioned it. It would be the rant to end all rants I think!

[@amblingpangolin]

"boring and louder, in all the wrong ways"... what are the right ways? Fair play though. I've not seen it, but I love Kermode and, regardless of that, I imagine this is a fair review. I want to see the movie with "boring and louder" in the right ways, though!

[@heatrayzvideo3007]

Early Wes Craven was fantastic in my opinion

[@davidlawrencegraham6722]

its not just youre opinion its most horror fans to he was a master he aint a master no more tho whivh is a shame

[@0ooTheMAXXoo0]

How is early different from later? Feels like he was doing the same thing all along... I mean, they can't all be masterpieces...

[@blokey8]

Has Mark considered the possibility that Bay's pursuing a vendetta with him with these remakes? ;P

[@Blunders1000]

"He's got a big claw,he's got a big claw and... he kills them" lol :) Why there is a guy wearing an untied bowtie in the production box?

[@sirmoanalot3779]

Letting his hair down 👍

[@pdmore123]

I'm still angry to this day about this remake. Noes deserves a remake true to the original.

[@batmench10]

NOES deserves to be left alone.

[@killerrodan]

+pdmore123 It was just for money.

[@pdmore123]

Fede alvarez would be the man. His evil dead was amazing

[@raggedbreath]

6:50 Just realised, is the Doc. on his third coffee?

[@JRHartly1984]

Dr Kermode telling it as it is.

[@clonard]

I went to see this, and to be honest, I didn't think it was that bad. I've never been a huge fan of the original movies, and I always thought the original Freddy wasn't that scary, in fact I think he's a bit of an ejit! He became more of a comedy character as the movies progressed. Just my opinion.

[@0ooTheMAXXoo0]

"original movies"? why the plural? The original film is a masterpiece. None of the sequels is remembered or talked about like that. The fact that you grouped them means to me that you might not have seen the original or you do not remember it well. There is just no comparison. The first film is up there with the best films made in any genre. None of the sequels come close... How about ignoring the bad sequels where Freddy is funny because that has zero to do with the original film? You might as well judge the original film based on this re-make that you like. This re-make is not the original just like the old sequels are not the original film.

[@MassimoConnolli]

6:35 - go on Mark you can say it - "It's just NOT CANNON!!"

[@0ooTheMAXXoo0]

Cannon is the weapon. Canon is the official story.

[@Kagemusha22]

I didn't even know that Nightmare on Elm Street had been remade, till I saw this review. What a bad idea,...

[@0ooTheMAXXoo0]

It is a bad idea if you want to make a good film. It is a great idea if you want to make money...

[@0ooTheMAXXoo0]

I see a lot of blue and orange in those clips.. a little grassy green...

[@RamBam3000]

I know about Strewwelpeter... but I can't find anything on Bell-Achen, or whatever the name is. Can anyone help?

[@colingram8785]

I'm not 100% sure, but I think he is referencing 'Belloc', specifically the French author Hilaire Belloc, who wrote 'Cautionary Tales For Children', very similar concepts/structure to 'Struwwelpeter' by Heinrich Hoffman which featured the 'The Story Of The Thumb Sucker' with the tailor with giant scissors, of which I imagine Freddy could be perceived to be a kind of modernized, urban interpretation of with his 'knives for fingers/glove hand/scissor hand' kind of thing. Those stories served as morale tales of children not doing as they're told and meeting potential fates of death or some other form of severe punishment; much like Freddy embodies the nightmares of the 'children' of Elm Street with all that panache and Surrealism that Mark Kermode talked about. In a way that allows the fantastical side of the movie to play out, as Freddy takes his "retribution" out on the children of the parents who killed him - eventually leading to him becoming some kind of quasi anti-hero almost in later series. It's possible Craven took influence from the concepts of those books, but to the best of my knowledge it's never been definitely acknowledged or asserted as such.

[@RamBam3000]

@@colingram8785 Thank you

[@colingram8785]

@@RamBam3000 you're welcome :)

[@ninfilms]

I don't why remake films that didn't need to be remake.

[@0ooTheMAXXoo0]

Money. The name automatically brings money. Combined with actors that the public cares about and you can pretty much guarantee that you make some money on the project. Have you not heard how accountants run the Hollywood studios in the last 30 years or so? This actor with this actor in a film with this name should equal this amount of money at least... Accountants looking at spreadsheets put together the basic elements and then the filmmakers have to try and make a good film out of it...

[@LicoriceLain]

The last scene was egregious to the highest degree.

[@RottenDoctorGonzo]

Spot on, spot on. Really, though. Makes you wonder what they were thinking.

[@0ooTheMAXXoo0]

Accountants put a lot of big budget movies together. "This name" with "these actors" should equal at least "this much" money at the box office. They literally make calculations based on performance of previous films with the same name and look at how every actor does at the box office and then they put together films based on purely monetary calculations. It is not a secret, it is not rumors, this is stuff that they brag about to shareholders as they are proud of how they make money...

[@benjaminlivingston9706]

I like how Mark is constantly trying to avoid talking about the remake.

[@Tbass17]

I wish Mark was my Uncle, would make family gatherings so much more interesting.

[@plastikgangsters6443]

did you like it though?

[@DavesArtRoom]

This review Is exactly right; as I see it the original is the best. The remake had some potential but blew it. It's hard to remake or re interpret an original classic. The Fright Night remake was terrible too.

[@ProJatior]

I still liked this one more than well at least 5 and 6. Maybe 2 and 4 but at least 2 & 4 had fantastic effects that hold up even if the acting was terrible.

[@0ooTheMAXXoo0]

Original is like a 9 out of 10. None of the sequels is above a 4 out of 10... Kind of silly to compare a masterpiece to all the way more standard sequels and remakes. Like "which of these shitty films is less shitty"? Let's rank these films that no one should ever see because they are using time they could spend watching better films...

[@ProJatior]

3 is potentially above 1. I say 1 and 3 are equal the rest I’d be okay with forgetting. You are wrong about Dream Warriors and my back up will come it’s the fan favorite for a reason.

[@Rapt4]

I thought he said "Belloch" but I can't be 100% certain (??). Doing a search on that name brings up nothing connected to a "Long Legged Tailor" or anything derived from the Struwwelpeter character or soemthing similiar. I'm as intrigued as you....I do recall a novel by Mark Chadbourn called "Scissorman" which you can find on Amazon etc, if you're interested. Looks pretty good, I'm personally very intrigued by it and the whole "scissorman" notion....so I can't really help, hah! Sorry....

[@alisaurus4224]

Rapt4 bit late on the reply, but i believe at 6:10 he’s referring to the French writer Hilaire Belloc, known for his Cautionary Tales for Children (memorably illustrated by Edward Gorey). Most of the children die gruesome deaths after minor offenses like not wanting to eat their peas.

[@bellboy64]

I'll be honest. I was not expecting this kind of reaction from Mark. I haven't seen him so genuinely angry. At the end of the day it's another shit remake been there done that but the fact he's impassioned about the original was a surprise. It's very easy to simplify the argument as "Wes Craven cares, Michael Bay doesn't" but I wasn't expecting the reverence for the original he clearly has. It's a fantastic film sure but I wasn't aware of it's greater subtext. Learned something today!

[@chrishiggins7166]

The film tries to reinvent an iconic horror classic, however the film ends up being not scary, cheap, poorly written, poorly acted & an unnecessary sequel. (18%) (1/5 stars) (negative)

[@NancyThompsonOfElmSt]

@clonard And you are SURE you were watching the same films I was?

[@blokey8]

My conspiracy theorist history teacher used to roll that out quite often. I just think it's laziness and unimaginativeness personally. Though part of me does suspect that Michael Bay is actually pursuing some sort of vendetta against Mark Kermode by making films which will anger him as much as possible ;)

[@CJOrbitalDive]

The thumbnail to this video says everything. Mark's hands are blurry from all the flapping.

[@BikiniDeathSquad]

You did the right thing.

[@SIGNIFYING_NOTHING]

I'll buy you a pint if you ever come to Taiwan.

[@browsertab]

this. is. EXACTLY. what i thought after seeing the film. boring, sacrificing all the personality and surrealism of the original - feels good to be on kermode's level. :P

[@jacktalbot]

@Tbass17 What a strange thought

[@Tbass17]

'It's boring and louder, in all the wrong ways' So is there a good way to be boring and louder?

[@0ooTheMAXXoo0]

More boring and more loud could be needed to make a film better. Lots of films suffer because they have no lull in them to let audiences breathe and relax and lots of film suffer if the dialogue is too quiet or something like that...

[@comanchio1976]

I wish he'd get off the fence and just tell us whether he likes it or not!

[@mrbrandonmartin388]

i actually think the only bad horror remakes where prom night, halloween, and psycho. the rest dont bug me for some reason.

[@TheeOneWhoTalks]

I agree, Bay is ruining horror classics. I'mfine with a remake because its like we're getting more of what we used to love. But not when they're made with disrespect, and the sole intent of money.

[@taffwob]

@ 4:40 he turns into Eddie Izzard

[@ehansen3]

hahaha I agree with Kermode but his Bay impression sounds like Eddie Izzard

[@BikiniDeathSquad]

4:25 this clip of audio should be played for Michael Bay to hear! That empty-headed bastard is poison to creativity.

[@eveningtsar]

Will someone please listen to this man? (At least about the colours. . .)

[@raggedbreath]

@henman09 yes...

[@ninfilms]

I never agreed with remake with Elm Street. I watched this at my local multiplex in Merthyr Tydfil. When you first see Freddy Kruger in the remake people started to laugh. The reason I didn't agree with the remake is because the last Freddy was 2004 and everybody knows about freddy which that how everybody found Freddy.

[@TheHappydead]

the original is hilarious, i remember watching and just laughing all the way through. the moment at the end when she gets dragged through the tiny door window is ridiculous , I mustve watched that scene 10 times............. isnt johnny depp in it ?

[@0ooTheMAXXoo0]

You were laughing to ward off the horror I guess. It happens...

[@spyrothedragon590]

imagine if Zack Synder (Dawn of the Dead) or Alexandra Aja (High Tension & Hills have Eyes) did the Elm Street remake. Elm Street remake would have had a much, much more better REPUTATION!

[@0ooTheMAXXoo0]

The point is to make money, not to make a great film. You do a re-make because the name is already known so it will bring in money no matter what. If your focus was quality then you do not aim to re-make a film that is great to begin with.

[@MatthewLedZepfan]

What does Elm Street have anything to do with the assassination of JFK?

[@alisaurus4224]

It’s the name of the street in Dallas where he was shot. I live near Dallas and have driven on it many times, but never thought of Nightmare on Elm Street while doing so.

[@omgwtfbbqstfu]

Its so true, it was just so bad, freddy was just absurd, sad, and not scary at all, they managed to make him down right pathetic, they really made a mess of this film.

[@Rswtmre]

I think he liked it

[@dovestones]

I think he liked it.

[@petertyson2]

I saw the film last night and everything Mark says is absoloutely on the money, it's just so dull and boring and unscary. The scariest thing about the film is how bad it is....you just know there will be a sequel too which is also a scary thought. Michael Bay needs to be arrested for crimes against cinema too.

[@petertyson2]

How can anyone have anthing slightly positive to say about this film when it's just so bad?. The film lacks anything close to anykind of heart, soul or passion, almost as if the director along with the rest of the crew couldn't be bothered to even try. The films only purpose is to generate money by appealing to a mass audience of easily pleased idiots, end of story.

[@ashleywetherall]

I was going to see this movie until Mark said those horrific words .. Michael Bay.

[@0ooTheMAXXoo0]

Con Air was a satirical masterpiece. The weightlifting film he made got lots of good reviews... Bay mostly just makes big studio films where he is just a hired director. Hard to blame or praise him for anything he has done.

[@90mv]

the claw thing lol kermode so silly lol

[@gillanbowd1]

one word fella...decaf! but i do agree

[@questionitall3053]

Noooo, we didn't need a remake. The original was perfect.

[@jamb4450]

The original nightmare was perfect, but I was looking forward to the remake, cus if it was done well, they cud have started a new series.

[@sstlouis]

@ehansen3 lol you're right

[@RamBam3000]

No probs. I just wanted to clear up a perceived confusion. Sorry. No offense meant.

[@scanlon645]

Am I the only person on planet earth who actually likes this movie?:)

[@jimmynorton1001]

i'm in

[@enigmacrypt]

I didn't think it was possible for anyone to hate this movie more than me but I think Mark managed it. Terrible, terrible movie and tarnishes the title of the original and a horror icon. Michael Bay and his Platinum Dunes need to be stopped.

[@ninfilms]

@chessinfantry Apologise accpeted Mr chessinfantry.

[@cinimatics]

I like to think that they're fully aware that the majority of movie goers are already idiots and they're just cashing in. The art and fun has been gone for awhile now.

[@0ooTheMAXXoo0]

If you ignore the copies and remakes and sequels then there are still way more great and original films out there for you to watch than in any time in the past.

[@Last_addam]

lol i thought it was terrable too, think mark hated it even more than me ;)