A Scotsman Goes To America - Yankee Doodle Dankee

=====
LINKS
=====
SHOW THE HUMAN VILLAGE YOUR SUPPORT
www.yelp.co.uk...
www.tripadviso...
/ humanvillagebrewingco
TICKETS FOR ME AND SARGONS LIVE EVENT
www.eventbrite...
SHIRTWASCASH AWFUL CHRISTMAS JUMPERS
thatshirtwasca...
SUES CHANNEL
/ @suehulk
PayPal Donations : www.paypal.me/...
Patreon : / countdankula
Subscribestar : www.subscribes...
Merch : teespring.com/...
Watch My Streams On DLive : dlive.tv/Count...
Streamlabs Donations : streamlabs.com...
BitCoin : 18Kgfgpd1PqSiyaxdWzvz3jLaBPYeKDSyL
Subscribe to our Podcast - The Incredible Salt Mine :
/ @theincrediblesaltmine
2nd Channel : / @countdankula2
Stream Archive Channel : / @countdankulastreams
Twitch : / countdankulatv
Twitter : / countdankulatv
Twitch : / countdankulatv
Discord : bit.ly/Dankulas...
Minds : www.minds.com/...
Normiebook : / countdankulatv
Snapchat : countdankulatv
PO BOX 19096
MOTHERWELL
ML1 9ES
Theme Song by Tailed Feature - • Video
==============

[@dankjaycobi3257]

*goes to America* *then goes to hooters* *gets drunk* *goes to a gun range* Sounds like an American experience to me

[@PHILMKD95]

It's a rite of passage.

[@JohnSmith-xv2ob]

Any non-American that doesn't get to a shooting range at some point is seriously missing out. And I'm saying this as the son of an English immigrant!

[@regiont5032]

Aye just saying this cause I’m hyped when I saw. But he went to my local gun range.

[@timetraveler1973]

thats a standard weekend in kansas

[@jahzzy]

It's a shame that the hooters he went to had children and his waitress was pregnant already.

[@undo9981]

"people got poorer the further east I walked" oh, so it's like Europe...

[@lobmin]

Holy shit I never thought of it like that

[@Behemoth_Rogue]

Savage, yet refined.

[@Skullnaught]

Bruh

[@ThinWhiteAxe]

bRUH

[@cripstopheriii3509]

what’s it with the east side of cities and just being straight garbage, west side of my city is decent and calm but cross the bridge and it’s shootings, gangs, theft and burglary daily

[@thecynic75]

"Scotsman sees sun for first time in life, is horrified"

[@StarboyXL9]

Dank: "Gawd what is that awful brite shit in the ski?" Americans "That's the sun Dank." Dank: *hisses angrily*

[@SherlockHolmes000]

Imagine if he went to Arizona.

[@Akhelous]

Scots visit Spain a lot lol side note 20 degree day in Scotland they're out in shorts/t-shirts, trying to get a tan.

[@seanoconnor5730]

@@SherlockHolmes000 or Florida. Arizona is hotter, but Florida air has the consistency of hot soup.

[@SherlockHolmes000]

@@seanoconnor5730 Arizona can get pretty damned humid as well. Especially around Tuscon.

[@tannerhamilton6025]

Your first mistake in Texas was walking anywhere in the middle of summer. Your second mistake was eating a heavy breakfast, and then walking in the middle of summer. Bless your heart.

[@mouse9884]

Think that might be the most literal time "bless your heart" was used in the south. Well done!

[@ybuRnoipmahC]

Dank is now gun trained Uk Gov: nervous sweating

[@dubuyajay9964]

Does he have the blueprints the last madlad made?

[@II-tv1fc]

Scotland Forever

[@cliveramsbotty6077]

why?

[@maxkennedy8075]

Trained in butterknife combat

[@The_Ballo]

They're not worried until he gets tractor certified

[@idriscarney5299]

“A Scotsman goes to America” sounds like the beginning of a joke

[@jeniferjohnson374]

Lmaoooo

[@DivineMind222]

Or a porn

[@tituslafrombois1164]

Or the title of a film parody. "A Scottish Memlord in America"

[@cerickNY]

A Scotsman who had been living in America walks into the bar in his hometown. "You're back! How was life in America?" jests one patron. "It was a nightmare," he said. "I was living in an apartment, and one night at 2am someone starts banging on my door and screaming." "That's awful. What did you do?" "I figured there was nothing for it, so I went back to practicing my bagpipes."

[@kDEa2606]

A Scotsman goes to America and is somehow more patriotic than the Americans

[@willhull7713]

Surrounded by a bunch of armed Texans... "It was the safest I ever felt in my life"

[@bordergore7623]

Probably was.

[@katgarry836]

Yup!

[@thatlazguy]

He lives in Scotland. *Syria* is essentially a safe place for him.

[@jakenum30]

@@thatlazguy underrated comment

[@samuelhooge6407]

As a native this statement makes me proud.

[@WildeMike49]

As an Aussie, I'm looking forward to my role in the sequel: Yankee Doodle Dundee

[@ravenzyblack]

Did you go to Florida? That is where the gators are.

[@paulhuston9991]

By God this has to happen my upside down cousins!

[@CommanderKrieg]

Do it.

[@bon12121]

underrated comment

[@deaddad6310]

Dankee Doodle Dundee*

[@grose24]

“It was actually very warm in Chicago” this mans never been here in the winter

[@ajz2k]

Have you been to the Uk?

[@tonypate9174]

"buckfast" in the blood .....old boy

[@Tronathon242]

Yeah, no shit. He's lucky.

[@ajz2k]

Chicago average temperature december: -3 celcius. *laughs in northern swedish*

[@JustWowNick]

Or any were north of the mid Atlantic region.

[@mixtape1542]

"When the plane landed, I was very thankful I was flown to my destination and not into a building" Best thing i've heard

[@Eli_Kennemer]

"My office is currently being built... By me" Fast forward 4 years - Dank got himself a Webley and a bone to pick...

[@Saint_nobody]

Shit. 😂

[@metaempiricist]

And a killdozer.

[@louisryan5815]

@@metaempiricist he's like the fucking power rangers. Combining the powers of all the madlads to form one super-madlad

[@LogieT2K]

Fuck me thats funny

[@krispinwah2784]

@@louisryan5815 then I guess add the "battle Royale with sexual assault"

[@JBO3022]

The amount of privacy and freedom I have lost over my lifetime as an American citizen has left me jaded. But to see this country as it is through your eyes has helped me to realize that, in perspective, it's still beautiful. Thank you.

[@joenobody5913]

Never forget, the media is essentially to divide us, whether that's it's literal intent or not. But regardless of our politics, religion, sexuality, etc....you and me and everyone else (even those cunts in government and media) are all in this together

[@thetexasinstrumentsmassacre]

tbh, a pregnant Hooters waitress is one of the most American things I can think of

[@xenonram]

Lol. They've got a girl for everyone there.

[@crizman7032]

that's kinda hot ngl

[@natekelly6435]

And the father is probably one of the boh staff.

[@YourDad-kr8zj]

Yeah because America is the one of the few places that doesn't give paid leave to pregnant and recent mother's. Fuck in alot of countries men get paid leave when they start a family...American capitalism is the devil's bastard child of Capitalism.

[@combativeThinker]

Your Dad Paid leave is not a human right. Heck off, Commie.

[@DamonXWind]

"I was glad I was flown to my destination and not into a building" I spit my drink

[@garrettschweitzer7138]

Holy shit that didn't click the first time. That was a very spicy joke. 10/10

[@wraithlight5341]

"You have arrived"

[@lemons1559]

@@garrettschweitzer7138 I'd not be so generous. Say 9/11?

[@Li8eralsarescum69]

ben dover AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA FUCKING SHIT

[@zayertio1914]

@@Li8eralsarescum69 epic

[@RemoteControlRox]

“I genuinely thought the sun couldn’t get any worse than this. But then I went to Texas.” [laughs in Southern]

[@dubuyajay9964]

That ahole Grant did say if he owned both Texas and Hell that he'd rent out Texas and live in Hell. And early white colonists said that Texas was so hot and full of mosquitoes that even pastors and women swore and that, "Texas was a land unsuitable for oxen and women." Thank God for AC.

[@NostraFnDamus]

Chuckles in Australian

[@dubuyajay9964]

@@NostraFnDamus I want to visit your country, but I heard the tourist death rate is high due to crime and the deadly flora and fauna.

[@mormonmissionary8566]

Clearly didn't go to Florida or Arizona

[@MaximumBooger]

Going to Texas in August is like sticking your head in an oven. Going to Alabama in August is like sticking your head in an oven. In a sauna.

[@zacharyhagan818]

The tallest building we got in Montana is the First Interstate building in my hometown of Billings...It's only 272 feet tall. 83 meters to you.

[@BigSmoke-bu6ib]

Because tornadoes?

[@bigboi4269]

@@BigSmoke-bu6ib no, it’s because Montana is just a nature reserve with autistic shitposters and rednecks and lost Californians in it

[@Ju5-I-S0m36UY]

@@bigboi4269 im going to take that as a compliment

[@bigboi4269]

@@Ju5-I-S0m36UY It is

[@maxhydekyle2425]

@@bigboi4269 Yeah, not enough people to justify a skyscraper.

[@TheTrace008]

“There was shenanigans. There was antics. There was alcohol.” Say no more Count. I get it.

[@lethn2929]

But were there cheese singles?

[@arcion504]

@@jynexe3056 He absolutely should a Mad Lad about Pablo Escobar.

[@MrMango331]

trap orgy

[@maximvsdread1610]

"There WERE" you f$$king tool.

[@carsoncasmirri3874]

Sounds like holidays

[@Specialagntbob]

"Walking through the streets of LA at night is like the Silent Hill PT demo." Truer words have never been spoken.

[@brucesobalvarro838]

16:36

[@jdhill770]

"And the whole time, she called me 'Sugar.' 11 out of 10." Welcome to Texas my good man.

[@mr.hardtruth6475]

You didn't come to East Tennessee ? Where generations of your ancestors live today , You didn't come to America .

[@asbestosisathing5997]

Mr. Hardtruth “What a shame.”

[@Eshkanama]

Texan girls are 11 out of 10

[@tommychiletti8506]

@@Eshkanama yessir

[@volkstarke]

As a Texan we take this for granted. It is the best place for sure

[@V47MechanicalBird]

Hearing those kind words about Texas really warmed my heart. I’m glad we were gave a good impression.

[@reverseshotgun721]

As Texans say, “A well armed society is a polite society.”

[@ScisaacFisaac]

"Yeeahoo!" - a Texan

[@firstnamelastname9758]

That’s so true

[@PhantomLoco13]

Arguably yes. Depends on how people use it. " Those who are skilled in combat do not become angered, those who are skilled at winning are never afraid, thus the wise win before the fight whilst the ignorant fight to win". - Morehei Ueshiba

[@Talz622]

Florida gang. We’re all concealing, you just don’t notice. Even the hipster-looking dudes with plaid button-ups are concealing 1911s and shit

[@kingbeez4943]

Wasn't that what that dude in fallout new vegas said before revealing a fucking massive cache of fucking massive weapons

[@dicebagdaryl]

"Scotsman goes to America. There was sunshine, barbecue, polite people, and lots of guns." **Star Spangled Banner intensifies**

[@DeplorableMinecrafter]

MURICA

[@indigo6842]

Lots o guns.

[@weirdred3537]

Alexa, play Star spangled banner but it played from bagpipes

[@l0sts0ul89]

Yes please.

[@seirbhiseach]

@@weirdred3537 more like star spangled bagpipes

[@reycero]

"I dont want to be in any mass shooter memes!" *Photoshops a crowd running in panic as Dank aims downrange.*

[@kaydonb.5706]

He really didn't think that through lol

[@NODnuke45]

Maybe he assumes that as long as his face isn't in it, random people won't realize who he is or that it's him when propaganda is made out of it to slander him. But by now he should know that it doesn't matter what angles the camera is filming from, because the commie left will find a way to make propaganda slandering and lying about all who dissent against them anyway, oh and of course, memers gonna meme.

[@nekrospike]

I thought he said "mass shitter"

[@Saint_nobody]

Pics or it didn't happen.

[@sirwhoresalot]

@@kaydonb.5706 or did he?

[@pointingsoyjak4271]

0:04 "My office is currently under construction; by me." YA GOT A LOICENSE FOR THAT CONSTRUCTION ON YER OWN PRIVATE PROPERTY DO YA?

[@firebug3256]

“All of America overall is too warm.” Sounds like you need to take a trip to Alaska

[@RipOffProductionsLLC]

or any of the states that border the Great Lakes, Ohio has this glorious balance of "the summers are too hot, the winters are too cold, and spring and fall are too short".

[@ThunderSword7]

@@RipOffProductionsLLC Chicago is right on Lake Michigan and he didn't find it cold enough. Maybe he should have waited a few months. (I'm aware that other Great Lakes states/cities get colder)

[@RipOffProductionsLLC]

@@ThunderSword7 oh, I completely forgot where Chicago is, for some reason I thought it was on the banks of the Mississippi...

[@ThunderSword7]

RipOffProductionsLLC I’m aware that you are being sarcastic, but given the context of the video it seems like you did neglect that he visited a Midwestern City.

[@compatriot852]

@@ThunderSword7 I live in Chicago and it's a mixed bag. It's either extremely hot or extremely cold. Sometimes it doesn't snow much and other times we get Uber Blizzards

[@hacksmerian2879]

"It was a heart attack, and I'm a Scotsman" Yeah and we're Americans, we eat heart attacks for breakfast and have strokes for lunch.

[@eggy6745]

American vs Scotsman The fight of the fatmen

[@jv1990]

I'm eating a burger while I read this.... freedom man

[@pointingsoyjak4271]

Stomach ulcers for dinner

[@figjam9530]

when he said "i'm a scotsman." just for a reference point. scotland invented the deep fried mars bar. dip a mars bar in sweet batter an deep fry it. take a moment and just think about that.

[@hacksmerian2879]

@@figjam9530 We americans deep fry butter. It's fair food

[@petitmeowmeow]

*"When the plane landed I was very thankful that I was flown to my destination and not into a building"* Brilliant

[@qwertykeyboardwarrior]

Southpark was right about 20 years and you can make fun of something

[@PostPatriot]

Hey Dankie, you should come to Seattle. Its almost exactly like Scotland weather wise. No worries on Dave and Busters. We got you covered.

[@rotolotto]

Dank: "We took a bus to Indiana because there was one thing I wanted to do..." Me: "...heroin?"

[@142doddy]

Oh yeah because there's no heroin in Scotland

[@louisryan5815]

@@142doddy it'd just been a while since Dank got his buzz, so he stopped off at Indiana.

[@mattperkins7038]

Hahahahaha fucking haha

[@LiftYagami]

Join the Klan?

[@Supra2jTarga009]

Well yeah but Heroin is everywhere.

[@brosephnoonan223]

_"One of the magical places, we got nothing like in Scotland... Dave & Busters."_ - Local Scotsman, discovering the joys of Freedom for the first time...

[@Elfrijolblanco_]

Come to Minnesota!

[@MusicIsKindaDope]

There is no freedom in America if there was I'd be able to light up a joint at the dave an buster's, but I have to do the one drug they say is okay even though alchohol is harmful

[@l0sts0ul89]

@@MusicIsKindaDope Bruh

[@Hail_Macbeth]

if You trip Come To my Channel Easy there, Buzz Killington

[@Christopher-eq1rn]

dave and busters is good shit tho

[@bluefalconssuck5881]

We need a video of you shouting *_"FREEEEEDOOOOM"_* after passing through Customs.

[@bluefalconssuck5881]

@Matt Horkan He's got 2 hours and a Green Screen... *MAKE IT HAPPEN* 😂

[@beefstew6512]

cringe

[@bluefalconssuck5881]

@@beefstew6512 I don't listen to food... Get back in the microwave. 😉

[@AuldHammer]

*gets shot*

[@WendingWayfarer]

I hear blueface is frowned-upon these days tho. Come do it edgy boi

[@beachdrugpanda]

I can't imagine being without my guns at this point in life.

[@missouribushwhacker9449]

😀7.62 the lords caliber

[@NoNONo979]

Same bro

[@justsomegirlwithoutamustache]

seems like you're too attached to your childhood toys

[@kkandola9072]

@@justsomegirlwithoutamustache you might still be in your childhood if you don’t understand why people have guns.

[@justsomegirlwithoutamustache]

@@kkandola9072 I’m actually old enough to own a gun, but I have no reason to use them. Someone is too sentimental with dangerous weapons

[@RomeoWhiskey692]

“Surrounded by six armed Texans ... I felt safer than I have ever felt in my life ...” As an armed Texan , I agree wholeheartedly!!! I laughed at you’re description so much .

[@willieboip]

Romeo Whiskey he should just move here.

[@andreahighsides7756]

Willieboip Thats pretty much impossible

[@s.m.fveritas4931]

As an armed Arizonan, I wholeheartedly agree as well!

[@lanasmith4795]

To be fair though he is wrong. If something were to happen he would have tinnitus because six guns(not counting backup guns) indoors with no ear protection isn't exactly fine. It's considerably better than being assaulted or robbed but it's not fine either

[@Neo2266.]

Andrea Highsides How hard is it to become an american citizen?

[@boblogIIIfan]

'Trainspotting is a documentary' So is Escape from LA . Lol

[@SilentButDudley]

The rules of living in the Us. Step 1: don’t live in California Step 2: don’t live in NY Step 3: enjoy living in the US

[@johncirello6267]

DudleyIsDumb add the shithole of New Jersey too. I know because I live here

[@compatriot852]

Step 1.5: Don't live in Illinois

[@samt3412]

Step 2.5: Don't live in Massachussets

[@somerandomguyfromthebeyond1821]

Step 4: tell the NBA to go fuck itself

[@brandonfalcon9348]

4. Always live in Texas.

[@cindyduncan2467]

My husband used to say "that'll do donkey, that'll do" lol

[@personman1148]

I don't wanna know when he would use this quote.

[@lifeisa.smalllesson4607]

I love it, because I said the same thing to my ex wife. 😆

[@dannynmelissa57]

I'm Scottish and live in Florida and its like the level on Mario where where the sun tries to kill u

[@06capoeirista]

I've lived in Florida all of my life so I don't really have a point of reference. People say that the humidity is the worst part about Florida heat. Do you find that to be an accurate assessment?

[@leirawhitehart1236]

@@fuzzylogic394 lots of air conditioning. It's literally the only way anyone could live here.

[@leirawhitehart1236]

@@fuzzylogic394 wait,... (after googling conversion) you mean it's only like, 10°F!? Freaking TEN degrees!? That *is* cold, man! Though, idk why it'd bother Canadians, considering they live about as North, but that sure as heck seems cold to me! Also I find it interesting that you describe Scotland to be more of a "wet cold", as that actually sounds kinda like Florida, in that unlike Arizona, we have more of a "wet hot" while their's is a "dry hot", which is why it feels more muggy and humid here. Just found those to be interesting parallels.

[@06capoeirista]

@@fuzzylogic394 My family has lived here in north central Florida since before emancipation. We used to build our houses so that there was always a cross breeze or even a central corridor with doors on both ends (called a shotgun house). I even grew up in a house that didn't have air conditioning. It did have a nice porch though. I guess we just kind of get used to the heat.

[@mannythelazyguy6529]

as someone who lives in panama, when i went to florida it felt like heaven since panama is constatly in that state when you finish taking a hot shower that the walls are all wet, thats panama 24/7, so florida was amazing, i wish to see people experience panama and see how they melt/drown with how much humidity we have

[@MidnightInExile]

Dave and Buster's almost brought him to tears.

[@davidthorp01]

I can hear it now Scottish Dank: “I-is this...the p-promise land? Mate you’ve gotta be real with me...did I fuckin’ die and go to heaven?!”

[@philv2215]

I wonder what backwoods meth Hooters he went to lol. Vacation spots and high population areas are you best. I am not Defending Hooters. I have been dragged into those very kinds of Hooters before.

[@davidthorp01]

Don'tPlayWithGuns Meh depends on the location and how well it’s run. Might have a pregnant waitress, but who knows they might cook well?

[@juggernautheadcrush4161]

In Texas... "I've never felt safer." Meanwhile, in Detroit... "I'm going to get caught in the crossfire"

[@ztm454]

And which one has more gun laws its definetly not texas

[@savagetuner2404]

@@ztm454 ....none of which are legal...

[@savagetuner2404]

@ It was 6 people

[@savagetuner2404]

@ oh no doubt. I wish I didn't live in communist NJ, there's a lot of people at my church that would be packing heat

[@henrymonroe4300]

@@ztm454 brother we here in Michgan, at least for now, is not anti gun - 1 in 9 here have a license to carry concealed according to state data and we are not restricted other than having to abide by the NFA - at least according to my experience - lots of firepower here *Edited for spelling

[@TheSlammurai]

OK, the tinfoil hat finally convinced me that Alex Jones is aware of the memes and is very sane playing it up for the audience.

[@dry9005]

“I don’t want to be in any mass shooter memes” Good idea, Dank.

[@zobiya17]

He can't keep getting away with it

[@robertoremelli]

Sam Hyde will finally be able to rest.

[@Spycyzygy]

“Its a giant metal bean” gets me every time lmao

[@looterDOTkfm]

I think people don't understand this piece of shit. It's an absolute plod of nothing if you're outside it. Walk around and under it and let it fuck with your peripheral vision and your sense of reality gets fucked with. It's a brain hijacker. Either the art museum 5 minutes away has helmets from the Macedonian era and shit. That was some powerful stuff. Sure the pussyflower wing was totally coolcool, but the ancient history wing was deep, thick, and full.

[@williamjackson3582]

It's funny how me and Dank had the same exact words about that piece of art.

[@metalspoon69]

The info wars studio is more diverse than the CNN studio room. Who would've thought?

[@blackguard5883]

To quote _William Murderface:_ I did.

[@greyfishbed8774]

Its because of stuff like Blexit, which is where not only blacks are moving to the conservative side, but also, Hispanics, & gays

[@Thes4LT]

Wait is that supposed to be a good thing?

[@greyfishbed8774]

Take it the way you see fit @@Thes4LT.

[@phangirlable]

lmfao That was the first thing that came to my mind when I saw the studio staff. XD And I bet they were all hired for their skills, not their skin color.

[@randobad]

I believe your accent is why everyone was so friendly to you, you're like a unique found dog that they have to show all their friends. they'd probably do the same thing if you had an Australian accent, doesn't matter.

[@azok718]

That's fucked. This is such a dick comment.

[@1guncrazy1]

My mom and stepdad have a friend they call "English Andy". Same deal, the accent is a draw in the Midwest

[@cassandras8797]

​@@azok718it's completely wrong too, sounds like they've never gone south

[@void5055]

As an Aussie who dreams of visiting the USA this just made my day

[@Sk0lzky]

"Amazing things America has to offer I've only seen on TV. Like freedom of speech."

[@KP_Uravity]

I've looked it up, Australia, Canada and the UK don't have freedom of speech. They have freedom of expression, which is just legal for of the government doesn't like what you're saying they can pass laws to stop you from saying that and then arrest you. I fucking love America, my father has been to many many countries and every time he comes he always talks about how great America is in comparison. He's never said America is perfect, but it's far better than anywhere else.

[@nikkollaus]

@@KP_Uravity you're full of yourself and your country man. Travel some sheep and talk to people out of the bubble you live in, there's a reason the only ones who say America is "far better than anywhere else", are American.

[@mykalkelley8315]

@Captain Retard the ones who say that are all american because they actually live here unlike everyone else whose only heard stories about america on the news

[@ciaranthompson3375]

@@nikkollaus America is the only place were freedom as a concept has survived.

[@nikkollaus]

@@mykalkelley8315 yes because no one has ever travelled to America or met an American, sorry I thought I was supposed to be the retarded one?

[@JakeTheArmyGuy]

"... but then I went to Texas." As a native of Houston, I both take pride in this statement, and wince at the thought of your pale Scottish skin against our malevolent sun.

[@italianstallion7272]

You guys really need to shoot at the sun to get rid of it

[@LordPoseidon.]

@The1Americanpride1 You want our Governor as well? We'll be happy to send him over via FedEx Express

[@LordPoseidon.]

@The1Americanpride1 oh then you should agree xP

[@negativeindustrial]

josh reed Sure thing, we’ll take him. Can you have him FedEx’d to my local Fort Worth Texas shooting range, please? I’ll save us all a lot of trouble. 😉

[@LordPoseidon.]

@@negativeindustrial Yeah yeah, we got you. Can you send us back a republican replacement? Someone who wont take away our rights and make those poor poor ar15s and aks have those shitty stocks

[@Cryros_sphere]

The “Gay Af” comedy show sign physically killed me inside

[@mothman1654]

"Gay ass fuck"

[@spoiledmilk2587]

I wonder what it's about🤔

[@logicoverfeelz]

Given an A10, I would strafe the entirety of that strip.

[@logicoverfeelz]

Twice

[@ronniehopper2726]

Cryrosphere actually pretty good the guys to do that or not politically correct in anyway

[@willovacc_1847]

“A huge divide between wealth and poor even though they’re occupying the same space.” Very well said and it’s sad but true

[@BlackIronGamer]

This man willingly went to dennys. My God

[@DiamondSan7]

My god no one ever goes willingly. They're all dragged in by the pancake tentacles

[@hunterrussell9263]

And then consumed by the salmonella monster

[@nightman4142]

Better off going to Waffle House

[@FartBox_BeatBox]

@@nightman4142 waffle house definitely would have summed up the american experience

[@nightman4142]

@@FartBox_BeatBox yep but around 11pm or 12am for the full Waffle House experience.

[@RambleOn07]

Note to self: Open a Dave and Buster's in Scotland.

[@femcelgirlfren]

RambleOn07 please do it looks so good

[@Mikhail-Tkachenko]

Place would get trashed in a week tho :/ Take it from me

[@AshenTechDotCom]

call it dank and sargie's

[@TheFIoridaMan]

Scaredy Cake Its an arcade for adults with a pub thrown in the middle

[@AkumuX]

@@femcelgirlfren Booze, arcade, billiards, air hockey, big ass TVs and food. The Murkan Dream.

[@rayvg7709]

Alex had me crying with laughter with his shirt tucked over his head.

[@domino52o26]

Some strong beavis vibes, lol.

[@tehfuqizg0inon588]

The true corn-holio

[@jacks1bonnielass]

RayVG That’s the only part of the video I seriously lost my shit🤣 can y’all imagine spending a few hours with him? I don’t know how Dankula wasn’t laid over on a monitor while he was walking around like that😂

[@chase_h.01]

Peak Super Male Vitality

[@youtubeme7195]

FACT: I get asked as an American who was a Marine, so I'm VERY American, who lives in Australia. I get asked ALL the time, "Do you miss America" And I respond, "I'm the only America left, 4 years ago, I would have said I miss my homeland, but now I'm my homeland." My wife has heard that, and she says it best I think, and She's as All Australia, as I'm all America, "You are an AMERICAN! you are a MARINE, you carry your freedom with you, It can't be taken." She's not political, but that she understands it that way makes me proud. I also say, "America is a philosophy, Australia is a place, they are both great, but I will never not be an American."

[@JohnGardnerAlhadis]

Go home, seppo.

[@joenobody5913]

@@JohnGardnerAlhadis Fuck off. Stay as long as you like mate!

[@chmc2310]

I think your wife said it best too. I believe that may be among the most American things ever said. This will be one of those things that I teach my son.Thank you. God bless from America.

[@coolswat2957]

*drumroll starts* *national anthem starts* *hand goes into a salute as Dankula shoots guns* I love you America

[@aaronluna9855]

This man is more American than lots of people here. God bless America and God bless the Count.

[@murrayw.9005]

Fuck yer America

[@medina5129]

@@murrayw.9005 lol k europoor

[@murrayw.9005]

@@medina5129 fuck yer America

[@medina5129]

@@murrayw.9005 fuck yer island

[@murrayw.9005]

@@medina5129 neo Nazi

[@proximanova7253]

"It's so hot in America" Posts the videos in December

[@logirogi1468]

It's actually raining right now in L.A. too

[@ThinWhiteAxe]

It's 60 degrees Fahrenheit where I am lol

[@titus4039]

20°F in my city

[@longfang_1764]

@yo did i just shit myself? yeah, its pretty nice out rn, only 13mph wind at 32 degrees, it's shorts a t-shirt time here in Wisconsin

[@TK0921]

It was funny to hear him talk about that while I was standing outside looking at two and a half feet of snow. To be fair he was in America in August which is usually the hottest month of the year. Although where I live in Minnesota the highs average out around the mid 70s in August.

[@thekobinator8252]

Idfk why Dank saying to a pug; "you need to go away. I'm working. I also don't like you." in such a monotone, normal, casual voice is fucking amazing to me

[@ThinWhiteAxe]

I'm not gonna lie, as a Southerner I felt the same when I went to NYC and saw all the skyscrapers

[@mattscatt4113]

You dont get that shit in London

[@zo1dberg]

I'm from Melbourne, Australia where there's a ton of skyscrapers and I still felt the same visiting NYC as well. It's just endless and the view from the WTC is phenomenal. London, just as amazing being so big but having a lack of skyscrapers!

[@bumblingbureaucrat6110]

As a Utahn I got extremely claustrophobic from the narrow streets, tall buildings, and huge crowd of people. The only place I could breathe was Central Park.

[@TK0921]

I live in Northern Minnesota. It’s pretty rare to find any buildings taller than two floors around where I live.

[@rjchavers9267]

I grew up in the south but have lived all over the country. Nothing, I mean nothing, compares to seeing Manhattan from a plane the first time flying in. Just amazing!

[@thegiantfinds]

"I absolutely loved dave and busters." You passed the test...fellow American

[@AntonioPerez-te9lr]

Here's you're gun

[@mrnobody6447]

@@AntonioPerez-te9lr but you have to start with a hipoint and level up from there.

[@ComradeOgilvy369]

Called Millennium Park a metal bean ☑️

[@commiepudding3395]

Dave and busters sounds awesome

[@anonymous_gamer_2698]

@Literally Hitler nah, just a huge fuck-off shotgun

[@chaosinternational3584]

Scot: "Yankee Doodle Dandee" American Colonist: Are you mocking me?

[@05-6pangloss8]

Ofcourse I would find the fucking insurgency here

[@HeavensGremlin]

Fuck yeah...! :-)

[@8789spartan]

Commence the Boogaloo

[@AlexNV75]

“But then I went to TX” as a Texan I laughed way too hard at this

[@RipOffProductionsLLC]

As someone who only visits Texas to see family there, I also appreciate the the horrors of Texas heat as someone who normally lives in a place that has real winters with snow.

[@nitroxylictv]

​@@RipOffProductionsLLC A couple years ago it stayed at 112° for 5 days straight. We had AC and window units and they were working overtime. Texas heat is no joke and it switches from super humid to bone dry in a matter of days.

[@I_Pooped_Myself_Just_A_Little]

"I was very thankful i was flown to my destination and not into a building" Spat out food and cry laughed

[@peterhoulihan9766]

"I don't want to be in any mass shooter memes" Gentlemen, fire up your photo-editing software of choice. We have work to do.

[@maxscardanelli6185]

Peter Houlihan I'm on it!...

[@matchesburn]

"Count Dankula, a once well-known memelord, turned towards a life of crime by becoming the apprentice of infamous time traveling terrorist Sam Hyde after visiting America and having free contact with firearms. Since then he's been involved in every mass shooting alongside his master Sam Hyde."

[@SireForseti]

heh. fire up

[@mikeanderson9774]

The new Sam Hyde

[@mrnobody6447]

Naye lads, let's give him his true colours and honours, he needs a claymore and kilt with a streaming kekistani flag done in the style of the trooper.

[@clumsycommissar5260]

Dankula: But then I went to Texas Me, a Texan: *bursts out laughing*

[@cgmason7568]

Same

[@thetexastickler5698]

Yee yee 🤠

[@kingcold2154]

Same. Especially when he said he walked through the August heat to get fucking Denny's

[@bigdavek.8322]

@@kingcold2154 He should have at least walked to a Whataburger instead.

[@kingcold2154]

@@bigdavek.8322 or to get some real bbq or even a chick fil a shit

[@ahuramazda32]

So many Americans love Scots, because we are Scots. We’re just on a long holiday

[@Whiteboy007]

Absolute Mad Lads:Florida Man

[@thatdutchguy420]

THIS

[@samueljonathan6101]

I fucking agree then he should do Slav Mad Lad.

[@dorianness5513]

Fucking Yes!

[@okramoffacebook1381]

Absolute Mad Genes: Florida Man

[@damascus1111]

As a florida man, I approve. You don't know freedom until you go surfing in a hurricane (Irma) then the next day go to a range, and the day after go to a race.

[@Jim_jong_un]

I wish more Americans appreciated our rights like you do

[@aircoolguy5218]

Me too...

[@SDguy3030]

Lot of these whiny, weak people complaining about our country, dont really know how good we have it here.

[@jakol9383]

Not tryna start a shitstorm but americas safety index is comparable to iraq

[@aircoolguy5218]

jako l I guess

[@petroleum_u]

@@jakol9383 I mean we don't burn people after locking them in cages, I'd call that a marked improvement

[@KORNforcj]

"Texans are the nicest people in the world." *blushes in yee-haw* 😃

[@PanchoPistolas45]

Selrahc YEEYEE! I felt the same when he said that lol

[@MattIsBored322]

dave and busters is based, in florida we a have a few chains that are similar, with rebounderz, bravoz, adventure landing, and dave and busters all having multiple locations in the city i live in

[@aitor.online]

"give em the full spectrum alex" yeah alex is giving them the whole spectrum alright.

[@danielgiovanniello7217]

Living here, the media loves to remind me constantly about everything wrong with my country so it's always good to be able to appreciate the things that make it a good place to live.

[@DanielSan1776]

That’s a good name I approve

[@danielgiovanniello7217]

@@DanielSan1776 There are very few professors I've met who can pronounce it lmao. My Database Design professor didn't even say the last syllable. She would call me Daniel Giovanni, which is still kind of right funnily enough. Since Giovanni is the Italian version of "John and that happens to be my middle name.

[@BuckSnortx]

I love your profile picture, im playing through crosscode right now!

[@Constable_Chud]

Dankula: *loads SCAR* Me: "Shite, there's that *wee single tear* again. God Bless America."

[@kindledninja]

@fleetlordavtar GOD BLESS AMERICA

[@MrAppejeto]

As a Texan this made me profoundly happy.

[@Mika-ph6ku]

"when the plane landed I was very thankful to Have flown to my destination and not into a building." Great start!

[@kd5icr1967]

We take being friendly in Texas as serious as we take carrying our guns. I'm glad you liked my home state. Cheers mate

[@Zanzuki93]

indeed there are very few people i know of that are not friendly in Texas. It is just kind of part of the DNA of Texas :)

[@bunnieskitties293]

Unless you go to Austin. Which is turning into another California sleeper agent of communism.

[@judsongaiden9878]

Same for us Hoosiers.

[@vcdonovan5943]

This American could just listen to audio of Dank saying "rubber ducky" over and over again for hours.

[@ragamuffin2829]

VC Donovan 8:45 (easy access)

[@vcdonovan5943]

@@ragamuffin2829 Much obliged.

[@astrohaterade]

Ragamuffin you do the Lord’s work

[@djentile7773]

Rubbah duhcky

[@yankeetherebel]

11:53 As a proud American, this literally gives me goosebumps and happy tingles. There's nothing more American than an arsenal of boom boom sticks and the star spangled banner. 🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲

[@kongfeet81]

Just imagine, a country you can tell jokes freely without fear of prosecution

[@kongfeet81]

The day the 1st amendment is repealed is the day the United States dies

[@Jay_76]

Yes...a country where people can tell joke freely without fear would be nice.

[@fukitall80]

@Ian Collins lol you think your AR 15s stand a chance against tanks and AC 130s?

[@dots5641]

@@fukitall80 The US army lost to a bunch of rice farmers that had far less weapons. yea, they stand a chance

[@M.J44]

@Matt Horkan (Wot? He's referring to 'Murica)

[@mrqmrq-cr2hq]

American Southerners are the most heavily armed folks on the face of the Earth. And the friendliest. No real crime, we just like our guns. God bless the South!

[@bamawebdev8640]

There's plenty of crime in the south.

[@emmacat3202]

What about those troglodyte criminals who shot that black jogger in Georgia?

[@bamawebdev8640]

@@emmacat3202 He wasn't jogging lmao. He may have been innocent, but he fucked up trying to grab their gun. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

[@jacobkuchavik9367]

That's not a whataboutism, Emma didn't deflect from the point at all. A whataboutism is a deflection from someone who is on the defense who shifts the focus of criticism onto another entity. It's a form of the "tu quoque" fallacy which literally means "you too," in reference to how the common form that this fallacy takes is to reflect the criticism back onto the critics, which doesn't invalidate their criticism, but merely impugns the critics honor and integrity. But a critic doesn't have to be honorable, nor upstanding, to make apt criticism. Georgia is southern state. Which means that if crime happens largely in Georgia, then the statement "There's no real crime in the south," is less true. Citing instances of crime is not deflection, it is in fact confrontation to the sentiment of crime virtually not existing in the South. Emma does, however, fall victim to an error of supposing that because one crime may have happened in Georgia, that that is representative of the norm. Had Emma cited numerous, recent and terrible instances and happenings which would constitute real crime in a southern state(s), then the argument would've been much more solid.

[@jacobkuchavik9367]

@Anton Chigurh And btw, you only need read the first sentence if you don't feel like reading a whole article.

[@johns.1905]

When I was in the Navy, I learned that the Scots love Texas. I heard it from several people in Glasgow.

[@JohnPaul-yf9xd]

Big fan. Chicago I was born and raised. Gunshots are common. I've been stuck up, shot at, and in one shootout. Great place to raise a family.

[@CunnyRape]

That's exactly why I fucked off once I had enough money.

[@internetdinosaur8810]

"I've never seen the wage gap between rich and poor so quickly" You have yet to see Manila

[@SlowMoebius]

Ah yes, the gap between poor and even more poor

[@internetdinosaur8810]

@@SlowMoebius Yup. It literally goes from 10% rich, to 20% middle, to 50% poor, to 10% poorest, to 10% poor and you can see it on one roof top.

[@joelfernandez536]

Check out Calcutta or Dehli. Shocking.

[@kielbasamage]

Eyy, pinoy pride...

[@vulpes7079]

I was gonna cite Chittagong but... Nah

[@BennysGamingAttic]

Dank: "I'm having to film in a different location." Me: "Why? Did they finally come for you? Are you on the run? Blink twice if you need us to rescue you!"

[@Blue4Skies1]

We'll send the SEALs to come to rescue you as an "American hostage" abroad!

[@randomboi5592]

"All of America, overall, is far too warm." *Sweats in Arizonian*

[@ReconZ3X]

Phoenix is a hell all of its own.

[@scottydu81]

*shivers in frigid midwest

[@NerdyHillbilly]

Random Boi *_SWEATS PROFUSELY IN MISSOURI_*

[@Glyff3083]

*dies of heatstroke in floridian*

[@thewretchedpleb7484]

@@Glyff3083 glad you said it

[@valkyrie9646]

God blessed the South! Well armed, most respectful and best cooking. I miss everything about it, except the weather.

[@brandynmacdonald5242]

WOOOO A NEW EPISODE OF RAID SHADOW LEGENDS

[@MrBluman999]

Its ya boy

[@doom7ish]

*American Patriotism Intensifies*

[@npfo2922]

American football Is Real football American football isn’t real football

[@IANcel]

“Things got poo-er, and poo-er, and poo-er.” Yep. That’s LA.

[@thesocialistsarecoming8565]

Ha ha, i get it

[@salinora0]

i didnt realize "jeremy" was jeremy from the quartering till you put the rubber ducky in his drink

[@bestudesu4833]

A foreigner eating Dennys is like going to Mexico and drinking their water. You have to be raised on it to tolerate it.

[@zackb99]

I'm years behind obviously but I cannot believe that he walked for a half an hour in August Texas heat to a fucking Denny's. LOL I'm glad he saw the error of his ways.

[@cryptik5097]

@@zackb99 i am so grateful that i started watching this man lmao

[@campbellwalls6720]

I mean denny's isn't anything special but it's definitely not bad I've had far worse food. Then again where I live our denny's was like the best performing one in the country for several years, that was a while ago but they still seem to do decent. Please help me explain that America isn't about national brand names it's about the local stuff. Like yea denny's exists and it's great at 4 am but when you need good breakfast you go to a diner or local restaurant not freaking denny's

[@roorooglizzydoo2026]

Amen to that brother 🙏

[@sethennis3316]

It’s funny I just commented this but I had a really good meal after buying my car in New Jersey driving back to upstate New York at Binghamton NY, as there wasn’t much else open in bing after midnight. It was so good I went back to a local Denny’s and was served rotten meat and horrible pancake balls.

[@codyerickson3550]

Dank: “LA and Texas is ridiculously hot.” Me, a person born and raised in Phoenix, Arizona: *laughs*

[@tehfuqizg0inon588]

Cry about pheonix heat when there's 100% humidity

[@ck6639]

Melted cd’s as a teenager, left on the dash. Always a pleasure.

[@azazelleblack]

Yeah, I'm with Grey Kester. I've been to Phoenix and air temperature above 110F is unreal - a whole different kind of hot - but I'd still take it over my SE Texas 95% humidity 95F swamp heat any day. Any day!

[@JZStudiosonline]

Agreed, I'm down in Tucson, but Phoenix got nothing on Texas August Humidity. Kind of like our AC broke and the only "solution" we have is a swamp cooler, so the house is 80% humidity and will still reach 90. Rather be outside in the dry.

[@drunkmurican4267]

"All of America is really warm" Come to New Hampshire or Maine, we don't get above twenty Fahrenheit round this time 😂

[@hankhill5622]

You came to Texas and didn’t buy some clean burning quality propane! That just ain’t right Mr dank I tell ya hwat.

[@bernard8961]

Everyone knows charcoal is better than propane

[@animatedkaijuice259]

@@bernard8961 How fucking dare you

[@bernard8961]

@@animatedkaijuice259 I sell. Charcoal and charcoal asseries

[@shotfromsky]

Bobby!

[@ClassicaI]

@@bernard8961 those words can get you killed

[@hernanperez6550]

this man just made me so proud to be a American.

[@evinjacobs5931]

Seeing this man look so happy and joy filled over Dave n buster's was so wholesome

[@evinjacobs5931]

I genuinely hope you enjoyed america we might have a few shit stains across the map but I love my country and I always will so

[@Sgt-Wolf]

He's inner child was awoken. Then again wouldn't most.

[@concernedthanos6725]

Dave n busters fucking bops though

[@ohthankg-dforthebourgeoisi9800]

You are SO right about LA. It’s one of the most “progressive” cities in the US.

[@VividFilmProductions]

LA and New York are a few laws away from being communist I swear

[@Wolfgulfur]

No where near as bad as SF, Boston, or Portland

[@wemakeasiansurveys4U]

@@VividFilmProductions So you don't know what communism is. Communism doesn't mean "Left policies that I don't like". Communism is a major system of governance that enforces the equality of outcome of the classes in collective ownership and it encompasses all portions of life. You're really similar to many communists I know, being that you both don't know what it is. The most lefty cities are so far from communism that you can't compare it. Americans are spoiled because they don't know how good they have it, and they call every lefty policy communism despite never seeing the true horror and poverty.

[@VividFilmProductions]

Johnny dude where do you think these lefty policies take us?? The goal of socialism is communism. We’re in the midst of another communist revolution and people don’t realize it.

[@phoneboxchicken4108]

@@VividFilmProductions I suppose the end result in the USA's economic political and social structure is a return of slavery and something along the lines of the future in The Time Machine.

[@oldschoolhoxton8843]

"I know I'm not a looker" Lies

[@ryantogher8105]

We know thats a lie. In reality he is just a 4 man job.

[@bubbledreams6382]

Oldschool Hoxton he’s not just that, he’s daddy

[@arcion504]

He absolutely should a Mad Lad about Pablo Escobar.

[@Meekmillan]

More American than our sitting geriatric in chief. Salute Mister Dank

[@entropicflux8849]

i love hearing people's reactions to visiting america. it's easy to lose sight of how crazy and interesting this place is when you live here.

[@johnbacon4997]

Only place where we can own tanks, guns machine guns but can't own a kinder egg

[@gobigod]

@@johnbacon4997 Who tf u know who owns a tank

[@johnbacon4997]

@@gobigod there's tons of collectors in the US who own tanks

[@gobigod]

@@johnbacon4997 Well I know, but like... Do you know any of them personally somehow?

[@johnbacon4997]

@@gobigod Nope!

[@ilikewindows3455]

32:27 That, count Dankula, is called southern hospitality. Nearly every southern state is like this, generosity can sometimes get you far there

[@lightningfletch5598]

Pennywise Wadford Well, Florida is in a class all its own my guy.

[@aloafoftoast7160]

@@lightningfletch5598 can confirm, as a Floridian of 14 years

[@shadow-monger5189]

@@lightningfletch5598 I was in northern Florida a few months back, right on the border with Georgia. It was gorgeous. The people were friendly and the barbecue was amazing. I'm from the southwest (not cali) and it was a wonderful experience. Would go back in an instant.

[@lightningfletch5598]

@@shadow-monger5189 Then where do all those crazy Florida Men come from?

[@shadow-monger5189]

@@lightningfletch5598 Oh those guys? They're just part of the state's defensive military plan. No one wants to invade crazy. So you keep some of the crazies out in the open. Keeps the libs away. ...unless it's Miami, of course.

[@Ambientlogic]

"But then I went to Texas." As a Texan, I can confirm.

[@treck87]

Alaska's still bigger and better.

[@humbleclay79]

I am under the impression that if CD came to North Florida, he would have had a heat stoke as soon as he got off the plane.

[@insanitysoldseparately6429]

Alex sounded more like “Igor! Bring me the brain!” Than Shrek