A Talking Cat!?! - The Cinema Snob

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Created by and Starring Brad Jones
Illustration by Shaun Millington
The Cinema Snob reviews A Talking Cat.

[@ACETYGRA]

That kid's heterosexuality is about as believable as Kevin Costner's British accent in "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves"

[@theAngryscotman]

So not even attempted?

[@nathanclark2424]

Intermittently shown and when it bothers to show it's not convincing?

[@TheBonkleFox]

Hey i liked that movie!

[@HylianFox3]

@@TheBonkleFox I did too, but affecting an accent was definitely not Costner's strong suit

[@Dannypuck]

In before the "Didn't Jontron and Critic and Lupa do this movie already?" comments. As The Nerd said, "There's no sign-up sheet for reviews."

[@dukespubber741]

I don't know why, but the line "Chris is scared of swimming because his whole life is filled with water cutaways" really, really makes me laugh. I mean, I had to stifle laughter just typing the quote out.

[@MrsMojoRisinBlues]

I actually don't mind when multiple people review the same movie. I like seeing the different review styles and others pointing out stuff that other reviewers didn't mention.

[@blankblank1284]

@The1Returner Maybe becuase they agreed with the OP.

[@1Hol1Tiger]

Food Fight is an interesting one because I've seen three different reviews that hit different beats of the same movie..... and I didn't understand why until I saw the movie myself... the movie moves so god damn fast and abandons plot points really swiftly

[@charlottecorday8494]

Then how come on your blog you said how much you HATE when reviewers repeat stuff?

[@kamekadvance]

The Snob was the perfect guy for this review, he's very experienced in reviewing movies that include talking pussies.

[@Pixeleyes00]

Are you implying that he's reviewed a movie where a character had a talking vagina??? If so, LINK PLEASE!!!!

[@kamekadvance]

+Pixeleyes00 You can probably find it on his website. I think it was called "Pussy Talk" or something. I know he's reviewed at least 2 talking vagina movies.

[@JulioCCruz]

He has also reviewed "Chatterbox" and "Pussy Talk 2".

[@TheAirBear2000]

And Angel Above, Devil Below. That's four goddamn talking vagina movies.

[@JulioCCruz]

I think Rip Taylor was in one of them, but I can't remember which one.

[@Ironman1o1]

"Softcore gay porn and kids movies, all filmed at his own house." I hope they don't mix up shooting days, because with the budget that appears to be in these films, they couldn't afford to scrap what they filmed

[@jacobmatthewcrawford2120]

Depending on how you interpret it... That sentence can sound really fucked up!

[@donnelwaddledee965]

Ironman1o1 What about a compromise and make soft core gay kid pooooooooooooooooooooooooh noooooooooooooooooooooooo.

[@blankblank1284]

@@donnelwaddledee965 "Pooh, no! Thats not honey!"

[@donnelwaddledee965]

@@blankblank1284 Oh bother! I'm so stuffed with cum. I'm dummy thicc. And the clap of my ass cheeks alerted the boys to the yard.

[@duowest642]

@@jacobmatthewcrawford2120 It's messed up unless you're Kevin Spacey.

[@linksbetweendrinks7032]

Water. Sometimes Brad can pack so much apathy into a single word. It's genius.

[@MontyPythonFanatic2]

He can talk! He can talk? He can talk? He can talk! I CAN SING!!!! Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius! Ohhh Dr. Zaius! (Doctah Zaius Doctah Zaius)

[@DammitDanDan]

Can I play the piano anymore? Of course you can! Well I couldn't before! :-D

[@Theladywiththeblackdress]

+Dannielle McKoy I love legitimate theatre

[@sitizenkanemusic]

Oh Help me Dr. Zaius!

[@jonasking9587]

What's wrong with me doc? I think your crazy! A second opinion? You're also lazy!

[@jonasking9587]

+Dannielle McKoy More women should get this reference. The world we be a better place. Thank you.

[@GlassesnMouthplates]

Here's a summary of the movie: Water, cheese puffs, water, cheese puffs, water, cheese puffs.....

[@ruthenium6648]

Water, cheese puffs, water, talking cat, cheese puffs, water, cheese puffs, cat dies, cat lives.

[@leewright1]

"you're all in A Talking Cat, you're all disappointments!"

[@OtakunoM]

Phil looks like if Estus Pirkle ate Rodney Dangerfield

[@gantzisballs]

They didn't come...I get no respect!

[@HenrySchecker]

or like rodney dangerfield ate dusty rhodes

[@SpeedyEric1]

Doug and Allison also said that in their review.

[@mmeers89]

I will never unsee that now. lol.

[@meatz666]

This group of actors looks like "Met in an AA meeting"

[@davidcarver483]

I think they just came over for David De Costa's BBQ, but he wouldn't serve them Baby Back Ribs till they made a movie.

[@AngelofMusic04]

@@davidcarver483 And then they found out he was too poor to afford actual barbecue and so they had to clean out his Cheese Puffs.

[@maxtew6521]

Being a regular at such get togethers, I can confirm that this is not out of the realm of reality.

[@meatz666]

@@maxtew6521 :)

[@ElHombreGato]

Lmao Good Call!!!

[@evilpandakillabzonattkoccu4879]

Eric Roberts really phoned that performance in..... Literally, it sounds like.

[@geoffreysorkin5774]

He recorded his performance on his cellphone while onset at one of his 30 other movies that year.

[@thomasbishop3494]

The fuck was this movie's budged? $60 and a bottle of vodka?

[@SirChubbyBunny]

Try at least a solid million. That's a lot of fucking vodka.

[@MrZmax95]

And a bottle of anti depressants

[@thomasjenkins7506]

apparently eric roberts drank it all before recording his lines.

[@gweegweezoozoo]

They didn't budge one bit. eyyy.

[@alicekliewer]

+Harold P. Penisman They spent almost the entire budget on free drugs.

[@PlsWaLuigiDomMe]

The actual plot of this movie is Chris trying to date Tina so he can get to her brother

[@valcristPL]

The way he says "water" gets me everytime.

[@marceibel1131]

ValcristPL, It sounds a bit like the singer from Crash Test Dummies (Brad Roberts)

[@droddfellow3926]

Yea, but Lloyd is most likely just memorizing the sexy cats for when he's "cleaning" himself later.

[@_SomeGuyOnline]

I love how the Snob gets the two young girls confused throughout the review.

[@mdalsted]

To be fair, it's not that easy to tell them apart. XD

[@robertmcginty4146]

My wife and I just watched this whole movie and disnt realize there were 2 different girls until the last scene when they were all together.

[@geoffreysorkin5774]

Wait, there's two of them?

[@Operation_FUBAR]

Lloyd is such a handsome lil fella.

[@progrocker666]

HAHAHA 11:25, Johnny Whitaker is wearing a shirt that says "One fuckin' day at a time" in Spanish - perfect!

[@dayzroc8645]

"What are you gonna do ? Drink the establishing shots ? " LOOOOOOOL.

[@CarozQH]

A Talking Cat!?! *MY MOVIES ARE ANUS!?!*

[@lancerguy3667]

Given the director's proclivity for soft core gay porn, your choice of words is apt!

[@bombabombom3603]

10/10 NOT ENOUGH TALKING CATS!?!

[@BenditaLocuraStudios]

MY ANUS IS BLEEDING!?!

Doug Walker sure loves using the word "anus" for some reason.

[@Bleakillusion]

I love Lloyd, I will be legitimately sad when he dies.

[@shippy1991]

RIP Lloyd :(

[@caseygibson7266]

The real question is "Water we doing still watching this?"

[@xil216]

Speaking of David Decoteau's soft core gay porn, when are you going to review one of the 1313 movies? I am sure your take on them would be hilarious!

[@ChaoticPesme75]

What the name of this movie again ? "Cheese puffs and water" ?

[@Schornforce]

Cheese Puffs and WATER!?!

[@SchlubbyTomHanks]

oh god this movie. i gotta say though, the cat that plays Duffy is adorable. (aww and his real name is Squeaky according to the credits, thats too cute)

[@SchlubbyTomHanks]

and of course, Lloyd is always adorable too.

[@christopherhazell1856]

FINALLY somebody made a Phase 4 ants joke. I've been waiting for that forever.

[@nde8101]

why is kevin spacey in 9 lives, my bet is he owes someone something

[@murciadoxial8056]

or he has a sense of humor

[@pizza4589]

+Murcia doxial but he has a good sense of humor though

[@VolvagiasBlaze]

look, he took this advice from Alan Rickman: If you star in a shitty movie every now and the, it´ll make your successes seem greater

[@SamAronow]

Nine Lives is like a fake movie poster from a sitcom that somehow became real.

[@ECL28E]

At least it has a budget and actual sound design

[@rhyspatterson679]

Of course the two young men have to get shirtless together upon first meeting each other regardless of plot or even genre just look who the director is

[@Beany2007FTW]

I think we could have stood to have more Lloyd in this episode. (He told me to say that. He has a knife. Get help.)

[@synth_dahl4438]

Wait, so the mom has a catering business, primarily cheese puffs apparently, except it's the daughter who has to make them. Maybe that's why the mom won't let her go to business school, because then she would have to make her own damn cheese puffs if the daughter was gone.

[@mrcritical6751]

I can't believe we're getting that long awaited Lloyd/Tequila and Bonneti crossover

[@RealParadoxBlues]

Admit it, Brad. This review was just an excuse to show Lloyd repeatedly for 21 minutes.

[@Edscratch23469]

You got a problem with Lloyd?!

[@connornoiles2447]

Lloyd approves this message

[@amohotepv]

"Somebody's gotta stop Jason... ...Too bad i'm in Water..."

He's back, the man behind the water

[@androzani]

Welp… this is the third review I've seen of this movie… Let's watch this nightmare again.

[@multismashify]

He said this is the third review he's seen. If you count this review along with Jontron's review and the review NC and Lupa did together, that gives you three reviews.

[@MrRandomguy521]

+Willowville There is the possibility that they watched another review other than the JonTron one and the NC & Lupa one.

[@eyesofblue86]

please don't say "welp"

[@mantasa0000]

Water...

[@TheRealGaucelm]

I saw your comment exactly when he was saying that in the video!!

[@JanetStarChild]

You saw the comment while watching the video? You must have a short attention span if your eyes start to wander down to the comments during Brad's review.

[@SpeedyEric1]

Scene...

[@Heisenkirk2000]

Earth…

[@TonyLikeGames2]

Jail....

[@marclewis5505]

5:26 "You're all in A Talking Cat! You're all dissapointments!"😆

[@SALshaNoma]

I know its kind of late to say this but I like when multiple people talk about movies because everyone talks about different parts and you give a lot more background that no one else does.

[@rotblitzkrieg]

This review made me laugh my ass off. One of your best in a while. Loved the running "Water" jokes.

[@emilynicole1234]

I am SO excited for the Midnight Screening of Nine Lives

[@NurseValentineSG]

JONTRON DID IT DOUG DID IT ALISSON DID IT

[@Lobsterwithinternet]

I DID IT I DID IT NINE TIMES

[@fodv93]

Nostalgia critic didn't review this movie.

[@DACrowley]

He did with Lupa

[@koreankamui98]

+fodv93 yes he did.

[@timthememer2785]

+fodv93 He did in a crossover with Obscurus Lupa (Allison)

[@JustinSimpson]

I love the "Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge." poster in the back, and I've never seen this movie reviewed by the others mentioned, you're the first with me, Brad. 😊

[@OdaSwifteye]

This is a David decoteau film? That's amazing. I love his movies where the titillation is supposed to be from women but men are still very much the focus.

[@Cybermat47]

Personally, I love it when critics review movies that others have already done. Everyone has different opinions, make different jokes, and have their own take on things.

[@MadisonCarter]

It's nice to see TV's Frank got work after his show.

[@furonguy42]

Wow, Eric Roberts' delivery as the voice of that cat sounds so phoned in, it almost sounds like they'd recorded Alan Alda mumbling in his sleep from the other side of a brick wall. Actually, that would probably sound LESS phoned in than Eric Roberts' performance for this. Not that I blame him. If I was confronted with the voice-over part in this movie, I'd want to get it over and done with ASAP too.

[@deadmaster9360]

I would go over-the-top into it.

[@PrincessNinja007]

They recorded all his dialogue in 15 minutes

[@jacobmatthewcrawford2120]

+Elusively Inept ----Wanna hear a dark joke? Eric Roberts used to have a serious drug problem. Maybe he conquered it by finding a new addiction... Saying yes to every role he's offered!

[@thunderphoenix440]

He phoned it in, as in he recorded the dialogue on the phone.

[@C_hoffmanni]

This is one of the Snob's funniest episodes, keep it up!

[@duff06]

Sure, the movie sucks, but the "lead cat" is so cute! What a plump sweetheart!

[@subtropicalpermaculture]

Found who this movie was made for . Cats carry a bacteria that makes you like cats . Those of us without the disease think they're just stupid .

[@heyelliew]

Not going to lie, whenever this movie pops up on the Rifftrax Twitch channel... I. Stop. Everything. And. Watch. This. Masterpiece.

[@ferzum7290]

This movie must be the work of an enemy stand

[@Gohan_Fanboi]

Very underrated movie reviewer. I love Snob's style.

[@AlexOlinkiewicz]

LMFAO, anyone else saw JohnTrons review of this "Film", love to see the Snobs take on this one.

[@AlexOlinkiewicz]

azureATC I did

[@wkwkiamflamingrand5733]

+azureATC the fuck?

[@Real1Gaming]

I'm just gonna go right ahead and say it. I GIVE THIS MOVIE A 7.8/10. TOO MUCH WATER.

[@atomicdancer]

Woo! Another review of A Talking Cat!?! Personally, I can never get enough of a good-bad thing.

[@PaidInBoredom]

Fun fact: The same house was used in Rise of the Zombies which was made by the Asylum.

[@FunkyVerbV2]

Please do a Snob video on a Neil Breen movie!

[@theblocksays]

He does ALL THE HACKING! Or what was his list of special skills (done in a manic Rich Evens voice LOL)

[@silversoul9683]

YES. OMG.

[@SirChubbyBunny]

If you include Allison and Kyle (or even Diamanda Hagan), then I'm so here to see them tackle all of Neil's movies; especially with how Brad and Kyle have been known to tackle "arthouse" pieces. I want to see them try to figure what kind of batshit weird symbolism he meant with everything (like the goddamn baby heads in a desert).

[@StormDatIsApproaching]

HOW GOOD IS HE?!?DO WE SEE HIS BALLSACK?!?

[@theblocksays]

Rick Burman's brother in law OH GAWD WE SAW ALL OF HIS BALLSACK!!!!

[@rogertopful]

I swear that house and that Car couch have been in at least 1 porno I have seen on PornHub. It had Asa Akira in it so take it as you will.

[@davidcarver483]

Hope they wiped the seat after

[@Ron2theHills]

I think cheese puffs might actually be the star of this movie. Neither water nor the cat seem to be talked about as much as the damn cheese puffs. That aside, I think this is definitely my favorite video covering this movie. I always like how you talk about the actors and directors previous works (of course you'd catch that the mom was in a porno). Side note: I think between all the reviews I've seen on this movie, I've seen the whole damn thing.

[@datemasamune2904]

Jon attacked the critic for reviewing Food Fight. Can we expect him to attack Brad as well?

[@sinsoftheswamp8346]

Jon can't get past brads sex fums

[@Dreadjaws]

Brad reviewed Food Fight as well.

[@joshnazario1020]

Yep...Brad, Phelous & Lupa reviewed it...funny review which got into more of the behind the scenes stuff on Food Fight than those ones.

[@MaximilienNoal]

I don't recall that

[@datemasamune2904]

Maximilien Noal It's during the during the intro of his Maximum Overdrive review.

[@Minronis]

Cheese Puffs are Love, Cheese Puffs are Life.

[@areyousureyouenteredyourna85]

Shrek filled your butt with cheese puffs, didn't he?

[@kingofarkansas2710]

This has to be one of Eric Roberts best performances in a movie even better than his performance in Dark Knight.

[@Agent57000DM]

16:50 - The look that says "This AND the Barbie movie???!!! We want a new owner!"

[@marceibel1131]

Barbie movie? It was also David de Coteau??😂😂

[@Duffman1800]

Brad before you get to A Halloween Puppy check out Santa's Summer Home by the same guy, you'll love the 20 minute croquet montage.

[@URFTBOUND4LIFE]

Will someone PLEASE THINK OF THE CHEESE PUFFS!

[@petewadesays12]

You know, I saw it referenced on Best of The Worst via RedLetterMedia and thought, "Brad should be the one they watch it with." Haha. Sweet. Now every cat is synonamous with Lloyd to me.

[@crickett3536]

Now I want you to have Lloyd help review The Cat from Outer Space.

[@chihirok1588]

I've been waiting for you to review this for so long.

[@foxy3653]

Can you dedicate an entire channel to just your cat?

[@stephaniethepenguin5442]

Soon as I heard the opening music for this movie, I immediately broke into NC and Lupa's song from their review! XD

[@Tareltonlives]

Lloyd can't talk...but Chloe can!

[@ElFreakinCid]

0:10 - I seriously love that of all the images of Jon that could've been chosen from that episode, you chose the "If me ape, why me kill for banana?" scene.

[@joshvonhousen903]

Waiting for that Dancin': It's On! review...

[@SirChubbyBunny]

Brad, your channel is low on Neil Breen content. We must be blessed by his greatness.

[@rebelyell1983x]

I feel like the snob should review the 1992 horror classic "DR.GIGGLES"!! :)

[@hazyhillsblue]

Somehow I jumped from this movie to 1313 to Sorority Babes to an old cable access show from the '90s that I can't stop watching. So 'Talking Cat' is responsible for me binge-watching Rhonda Shear. There's a silver lining in everything. ^-^

[@jasonjimerson7046]

What is up with all the water scenes? After watching this, I needed to pee... and crave cheese puffs.

[@coreysenn9894]

The night shots remind me of In The Mouth of Madness when Sutter Cane talks about how blue is his favorite color

[@LocustxXxLocust]

Oh I knew a bunch of people all ready done it. I was worried I allready seen The Snob do it. Which I have´nt. So "Win".

[@HughAverageHomoMan]

clearly the opening credits were the alternate universes that have experience this movie.

[@Shiirow]

a talking cat? does his also sing Hello my baby?

[@Shiirow]

Id rather be watching the grumpy cat movie.

[@alexp.4270]

Nice avatar pic btw.

[@Lobsterwithinternet]

+Trickier Hades Not really.

[@evanharmon2328]

+Shiirow woah there let's not blow things out of proportion

[@SuperWillHatch]

I'm kind of surprised that Brad didn't throw in a Michigan J Frog reference. There was one scene in this video that would have been a perfect spot to slip one in.

[@BobbinandGuidoShow]

TEQUILA AND LLOYD TOGETHER AT ONCE!!! OMG! glory! also, i love that you really do bring different slants to stuff! never cease to amuse!

[@Godzilla52]

Eric Roberts has money, what could have possibly got him into this? This movie makes the Alternate look like Die Hard by comparison.

[@billjacobs521]

It's Eric Roberts, he does a lot of shit movies. Though admittedly, usually better funded shit movies.

[@Godzilla52]

Bill Jacobs Yeah, I ended up looking on his imdb page and he's got like 70 movies coming out this year. I'm wondering how many of those could be as bad as this one.

[@jacobmatthewcrawford2120]

+Godzilla52 ----Here's a good dark joke for your question... Eric Roberts used to have a serious drug problem. Maybe he beat one addiction but got another... Saying yes to every role he's offered!

[@skrag2112]

Poor Johnny Whitaker. He peaked with 'Sigmund And The Sea Monsters'.

[@fridgehorror4502]

hope they gave the cat good treats

[@franciscobrisolladeoliveir9596]

What an awesome way to start the month.

[@TheOswards306]

Thumbs up if you want the Cinema Snob to review Foodfight!.

[@jsb8261]

Oswards306 Oswards306 He did in a crossover review with Phelous and Obcurus Lupa, I believe.

[@anikmonette2140]

JSB Yes, he did.

[@jsb8261]

anik monette At this point I've watched it. It was amazing.

[@sfighter0085]

First Obscurus Lupa (which I haven't watched), then JonTron, now you. Yeah seeing JonTron's review, it's easy to know what to expect. This movie makes "Cats & Dogs" look like "Babe", and with a new "Talking Cat" movie with "Nine Lives", that complement may change. The first time I heard the voice of Eric Roberts sounding like somebody just recorded it on audio cassette and seeing "Duffy's" lips move, my reaction was simply "WTF?!". This movie reeks of low budget, with the stock camera work, stilted acting, and all the obviously placed catnip snacks and laser pointer flashes and all. Great episode.

[@Irondrone4]

I'd watch 10 minutes of Brad's cat stock footage. Just sayin'.

[@scottbuckley823]

according to imdb this movie cost 1 million , there'sonly 2 locations but has 59 establishing shots and Eric Roberts recorded his lines in 15 mins

[@mastermarkus5307]

I think that this film is proof that just because you're a director who _can_ call in porn actors doesn't mean you _should_. Their acting skills tend to be below average even when the script _does_ involve fucking.

[@Duffman1800]

The only "porn" actor in this movie was the mom, everyone else isn't.

[@mastermarkus5307]

Duffman Well shit. I was certain that the young guy must have been, at _least_.

[@SporeDemigod]

I think it was more the director wanted to get the cheapest talent they could. Given that the project was directed under a pseudonym and the general all-around levels of not caring (see JonTron's review for what I mean exactly), I think the only reason this movie was made was for a quick cash grab/money laundering.

[@Duffman1800]

SporeDemigod He directs under a different name for all his family films so I don't think it's just a cash grab. He doesn't make high quality films but I wouldn't say David Decoteau doesn't care other wise he wouldn't do any of them. If this was his only movie I would say he made it for a cash grab but he's done about 10 so he obviously enjoys making them.

[@SporeDemigod]

+Duffman To be honest, I never thought of it that way. However, after seeing movies by people like Neil Breen, who are both passionate about making movies yet not very good at making them, that makes sense.

[@DjB8709]

When she's done fucking cheese puffs hahahaha fucking lost it at that part

[@ST477FilmProductions]

The cat sounds like a slurring Garfield e.e

[@kierenbuckley370]

even as Cinema Snob he loves his cats

[@josephineczykoski666]

Good gracious, you can actually see the red laser pointer the filmmakers used to direct the cat in some shots.

[@tyroneshuze7888]

I just love how the artist that made that nightmare on elm street poster behind Brad seems to understand anatomy and shading but not how mirrors work.

[@MKLettis]

Shitty movie, adorable cat.

[@marceibel1131]

Movie?😆

[@Soofiiix]

i tend to watch these before i sleep, i don't know why

[@schtive81]

That phase 4 logo looks like the Fantastic 4 insignia. Oh shit a Dog House reference... as a Canadian I am well aware of that show and how much it sucked.

[@uniquelegend391]

the beginning - you read my mind brad