A Tourism Video For Australia (Made By A New Zealander)

[@williammarlo6155]

“These birds that may as well be velociraptors” best statement ever.

[@jenniferschmitzer299]

they are just too nosey for your lunch. i like em personally

[@kalanimuncan9807]

It's true

[@6226superhurricane]

we call them salties to distinguish them from freshies

[@phoebexxlouise]

Ah

[@sh-be3bw]

makes sense

[@cummingonyourface]

Lmao

[@maxnoerenberg6370]

and in America Salties are salty snacks you nibble on while watching TV.....ha ha

[@guydives1246]

Freshies are new shoes

[@asheronthedruid]

As an Australian I can get behind the idea of calling crocs 'nibblers' 🤣

[@thedevilsworkshop7720]

If you yelled look out mate there's a croc heading straight for you to a kiwi in the water lol They'd be like bro can you see the other one ? Thinking it was foot wear .😂

[@SamBsound]

Watch out mate there's a nibbler out there!

[@mehere8038]

but they already have teh cute name of "Salties" I think it's probably NZ's orcas that need to be renamed "nibblers", have you seen the videos of them going up to swimmers, cutting them off from the beach & nibbling their toes? - literally!

[@LaoZi2023]

@@mehere8038 I still haven't gotten over the first time I heard an Ausie call a mosquito a Mosie.

[@jaydewolf586]

@@LaoZi2023 what??? What else would you call it? MOSQUITO is FAR too long a word to say! I can’t get over the first like I heard an American call a g-string a thong! And thongs flip flops! And called maccas “Mickey D’s”! And don’t get me started on rubbers! They’re erasers, not condoms! I’m almost joking, it’s bloody hilarious XD

[@shaunk6822]

As a South African I have to say, at least there's a sign...

[@johnd1774]

I agree in south africa the sign would have been stolen.

[@leebal321]

Or the sign would've been protested about because it has a white background and it means it has benefited from white privilege

[@AUmarcus]

@@johnd1774 They build houses over there with them.

[@davidnickisson2555]

As a fellow South African, yeah I agree 🤣

[@legendarypussydestroyer6943]

In South Africa the sign would've said "For white persons only"

[@Tone6372]

I'm from North Qld and would like to add that if the wildlife doesn't get you, there's a 50% chance your car will be stolen by a local teenager while you're at the beach.

[@robertmiller6822]

Lol

[@michaelpepper7230]

So true, so do yourself a favour and rent a manual as they haven't figured how to drive them yet.

[@shaggersback5108]

The local Bush mechanic apprentices, it's part of their cultural Bush craft now ! ☻

[@melisand8295]

Is that guaranteed cause I would happily have my car stolen at the moment😄😄

[@DeadelvenVividari]

I was visiting my family in (Cairns) at one of the beachfront houses. they couldn't get my car as it was locked up tight. so they broke open my fuel flap and sucked all the high octane goodness out to put into the other car they had stolen.

[@cherylkift7529]

I think we need an official apology from NZ to whoever our PM is next week.

[@michaelattard8320]

long as it is not scomo i am happy lol

[@bigtris3251]

True

[@mrgreyman3358]

Nah mate, we need more videos like this, then send it to every country that the illegals are coming from, they will all then go to new zealand.

[@TotalDrganMania]

Alright whos the pm this week?

[@naythen.]

Some old fat white guy that no one can remember

[@kyle-hx8qk]

Careful there buddy... We'll put your country up for sale on e-bay again

[@hamishventurato3895]

kyle MacGregor yea Na yea only $200 dolarydoos

[@Sanguinarius9999]

I thought we put it on Gumtree ?

[@EweChewBrrr01]

and yet no bids where made.

[@EweChewBrrr01]

@@kyle-hx8qk Oh wow that actually happened. That's funny.

[@marcussantiago]

I understood that reference dot gif

[@docOld55]

"Any sharks 'round here?" "Nah mate" (Crocodiles ate all the sharks).

[@astrolite3192]

I know you're just kidding, but we have bad sharks too. When Queensland floods all the bull sharks swim around the streets and such (apparently, I live elsewhere in Aus).

[@thenextbondvillainklaussch3266]

"I understood that reference" - Captain America

[@09conrado]

And do me a cassowary on the side

[@MRC2766]

As an Aussie. I love the banter between us and the kiwis. Same sense of humour

[@victoriaahart5908]

I as a kiwi COMPLETLEY agree

[@NotifyTheDog]

So do I. We chuck shit at each other for fun. Keep up the piss takes, guys, it's what siblings do.

[@maxbacon4828]

@@NotifyTheDog A pommie here says you are both solid gold!.

[@TheKewBe]

@@maxbacon4828 We're solid gold. The kiwis are just covered in our turd.

[@patferguson572]

@@maxbacon4828 Thank you Max. You are gold too!

[@davidlean8674]

I love this. My friend lived in Cairns for many years. His home backed onto a huge tidal mudflat. His words of advice were "If you come home smashed (drunk) It's OK to pass out on the front lawn, but never pass out in the back yard. The crocs will get you". His logic was that somehow a croc was incapable of walking up the side of the house. (or underneath it). They had a flimsy flyscreen door to the backyard. Twice they left it open only to discover a small croc in their kitchen. So somehow a closed thin flyscreen was sufficient to discourage a huge croc from coming in for lunch. I would not have rented there. The crocs didn't seem that interested in walking too far from the mudflats to interact with humans. None of their neighbours had pets. A family dog would last about 2 months tops.

[@xpusostomos]

That perfect! As soon as they lose their puppy cuteness, you get to buy a new one

[@benjames24tube]

Clever boy I’m a Queenslander and that clip is great should have included “ hey never mind about swimming, why not collect some lovely sea shells instead - well you can’t do that either as the cone shell is one of the most deadly creatures in Australia . Not to mention stone fish , stingrays and iracangi jellyfish which are barely visible and can kill in 10mins “ ahhhhh Australia the land of opportunity , like you have the opportunity to be torn apart in 2 mins or suffer fatal poisoning’s for 10 mins 😵

[@crystalkt8972]

omg SO true lol.

[@rebeck6651]

Blue Ringed Octopus in the shells? I remember a few years back I went she'll picking and a bloody blue ringed octopus was in it instead of it being empty or a crab.

[@TasmaniaIsAHole]

Don't forget serial killers.

[@straykidzeverywhereallarou7688]

True dat

[@danroche1]

Don't forget about the blue ringed octopus

[@MachineThatCreates]

Well in the last 50 years 500,000 kiwis have come to Australia and "not returned" so technically he's correct.

[@jeananderson9883]

Thus raising the IQ of both countries...

[@MachineThatCreates]

@@jeananderson9883 technically/mathematically....losing those 500k can only reduce your IQ if we accept that gaining the 500k has raised ours.

[@TheMAORIRULE]

Haha that's a bit light try 5-6million 😂😂😂

[@nzer57]

@@MachineThatCreates ROFL, it obviously hasn't raised AU's IQ enough to figure that one out. You keep deporting you're best and brightest under the pretext of undesirables. I don't blame ScoMo's govt. When the IQ level amongst the dregs of society is higher than the elites well..... they have little choice I suppose.

[@gayedawn1]

I believe it is up to 600,000 New Zoolanders that now “Call Australia home”.

[@metronetrail]

Just had a look for the most dangerous animals in the UK, since us Brits did not want to be left out, top two are Red Deer & Cows, yep i know we have some catching up to do. Well have you ever seen a Red Deer or Cow ripping someones legs off, not a pretty sight. It can take weeks, and you have to wrap the legs in grass first, lots of grass.

[@maxj0930]

Does that mean the cows are grass-fed? I mean, if they come back for seconds, of course.

[@crispsuk9779]

Nah mate. The chavs in Manchester. The worst thing you could ever come across.. They have the innate ability to make you throw up in your mouth immediately upon seeing them.

[@crispsuk9779]

@Mass Debater Nah it's impossible for a person to not like even the classic ones.

[@philipocarroll]

Don't mess with cows. They're deadly.

[@olivegrove2615]

Bullet-Catcher Red Deer and Cows deadly on the roads especially if your on a Scooter 😉

[@eugenehepburn6330]

The banter between Kiwi’s and Aussie’s is good fun .. Being a Aussie, my hat is off to you mate. Great vid 😎

[@dunruden9720]

Kiwi IS and Aussie IS?

[@Moamanly]

@@dunruden9720 Scroll further to discover numerous abuses of the poor old apostrophe.......

[@homebrandrules]

@@dunruden9720 good work ! Correct gwammar and spellig is more better than praising excelsorious humour !

[@dunruden9720]

@@homebrandrules One endeavour's to maintain one's standard's!

[@judylloyd7901]

@@dunruden9720 I'm glad I'm not the only one to pick up on poor grammar and spelling! I think it's pretty shocking that most people don't seem to know correct grammar, or spelling. And these are people whose first language is English! 🤪🤪 Sometimes, regarding spelling errors, if people would continue to type, spell check would sort it out for them Sometimes! Lol 😄😄

[@mishakolomoicev9701]

I lived & traveled cross the outback mi whole life, & nuthin ever bit stalked or attacked me, except when I was driving taxis on the night shift in Melbourne.

[@felicitybywater8012]

Melbourne taxi passengers bite? Thanks for the info. Will stay in Sydney :)

[@boofheadA1]

Your right. So many Kiwis never go back home. Evan the ones who survive.

[@Pete-z6e]

benjamin Rees , who’s Evan?

[@Battleneter]

Australia has been loosing population to NZ for around 5 years now,, times have changed.

[@deepsouthNZ]

someone has to do the work

[@Nzpure]

Who's Evan?

[@DirtTherapyDownUnder]

@@Battleneter you've obviously never been to South East Qld

[@lancerd4934]

"Chances are you won't return", spoken like a true kiwi lol

[@Draycoe]

I see what you did there :)

[@gregscally4923]

Chance are they won't get a job either lol

[@sparkletinkercat3458]

Yep

[@condorboss3339]

This Canadian is not going to take sides in the fight. Because it is f**king cold here right now and I want to be where it's warm!

[@stelley08]

Canada is an awesome country 👍

[@flacidhouse350]

@@stelley08 It's okay.

[@drhandle]

Mate, come on down - Canadians and Aussies have so much in common. For a start, neither country has four seasons, we have 'Winter' and 'Barbeque'.

[@gubbahbunji7313]

@@drhandle so true! Only dodgy think about Canada are the fucking bears!.. I'd much prefer to take on all the living creatures in Australia then go there and run into a bear.

[@lylejames965]

If you runnin from Trudeau,you shit outta luck, nothing but a bunch of bat shit crazy feminists running things here also

[@smolnar24]

You forgot the most feared creature - ask any of us - the crazed, swooping magpie, protecting their nest!

[@thesfnz3104]

i had two as pets and many visited our house and were friendly as so i just don't get the whole "fear mongering magpie"

[@suzieq3078]

What about the dropbear?

[@MichaelJP]

@@thesfnz3104 I was swooped by one when I was 6. There was fucking blood everywhere, looked like I'd been glassed in a bar. That said, we've mended our relationship. I feed the locals pet loaf and I can walk right past them, so close I could reach out and touch them and we're cool now. I am also friend to the Magpies.

[@mousegrey6747]

Plovers

[@icebergrose8955]

We've got killer magpies in NZ to. When walking to school, we girls always took out our sparkly hairclips because of the fkn crazed magpies.

[@killerdamocles69]

When he showed te Cassowary feet i said to myself "please say 'clever girl'" Did not disappoint...

[@judithblades5578]

I love the NZ/aussie banter...I am an Aussie who came to far north NZ and never went back...no snakes!!!!!!

[@Jayden-xn9xo]

Mr T I live there to. But it’s spelled kaitia 😂

[@ayushchawdhary537]

You turned the tide

[@dysthedice84]

Welcome to the light side

[@Xemehtatep]

How big are the spiders there?

[@rockyp3917]

I am thinking the same after I did a cruise to NZ.

[@jaxr2958]

The most terrifying beast is so tiny it's invisible, flies, sucks your blood, leaves you in itchy agony for months and covered in scars. And there's very little defence from it. The absolute worst creature in QLD is Midges.

[@strangelee4400]

That's Aussie slang for Mother in law, right?

[@jaxr2958]

@@strangelee4400 lol. Not sure if meant as a joke but hilarious.

[@nevmcc3884]

This is the truth. ..midge victim

[@planetdisco4821]

As someone who has lived in both FNQ and the NT I can attest to the veracity of this comment. I would cheerfully dive into a croc infested mangrove swamp to avoid being bitten by these malevolent microbes. In fact I think I have once or twice! In all candour my memories of life in the tropical north are somewhat dim owing to the amount of beer consumption that occurs while living there....

[@13audra]

Tea tree oil is fantastic for insect bites. Apply it neat (not watered down) to a bite, a cotton bud is good to use, it'll burn for a second, but then the itch stops.

[@gsail6600]

All our highly trained animals and they still can't keep you buggers out. I need to speak to someone.

[@KaosGunner]

Bwa Hahaha, had me shitty while on the toilet. Wait what?!

[@MGTOW222]

Bahahaha great comment.

[@katherinek6392]

I'm sending out the drop bears! Oh, wait, they don't exist... Never mind.

[@lautoka63]

... who'll listen.

[@Kosma.]

Unleash the dropbears

[@harrycurrie9664]

Clever boy this, just buys a one way ticket, sledges the place, then gets a free ride home, deported as an undesirable.

[@j.t.s8618]

Yes much safer than being there. Honestly there are so many awful things displayed about Australia especially the local people known as drongos or something like that? 💁🏼‍♀️

[@curiouscuriouser2670]

@@j.t.s8618 Might be drongo, but not piss weak, that's for sure. It's a beautiful country with truly unique wildlife and away from the cities the people are forthright and friendly. Anyone who doesn't appreciate all of that should not come.😈🐨🦘🦎🐢🐬🐋🐳🐟🐠🐍🐡🦈🐙🦀🐚🦞🦐🦑🦋🕷🦂🦟

[@tullman3craggs102]

oh are u talkinf about nz we dont got crocs or shit just crackheads with machetes alg tho

[@jenniferschmitzer299]

@@tullman3craggs102 but what to you guys call thongs. i rest my case

[@milesman9865]

@@jenniferschmitzer299 Australians call them thongs

[@PsyMongazoid]

And did you know the Duck Billed Platypus, that funny looking little cutie that everybody loves, is also venomous even though it's actually a mammal? Of course you did. Because it's Australian.

[@davidpeach7866]

only the males mate

[@kyracaral1804]

David Peach So only a 50-50 coin toss, I suppose 😆

[@Whisper555]

Monotreme's aka egg laying mammals

[@SpaceSoups]

And lays eggs.

[@xpusostomos]

Erm... Venomous where? Teeth? Claws?

[@kittenclub6b]

would be even funnier in english

[@horsefootrot8044]

David H hahahaha as a kiwi/oz citizen, made me laugh!!

[@drhandle]

But then we native Australians wouldn't be able to understand it.

[@samo425]

😂😂😂

[@atthecore4560]

XD

[@bayside_baller]

Boom

[@themadmutt2270]

Mate coming from an Aussie, I love this clip great humour. Made my day watching this. Good to see that we can still take the piss out of each other and have a laugh still.

[@Gorilla_warfare]

As an Aussie, this is hilarious. See, in AUS we have real danger. In NZ, they attach a long rope to your leg and push you off a bridge to contrive some danger. Want an authentic experience? AUS is where it’s at...

[@mehere8038]

lol ah now it makes sense as to why they do that stuff! Well spotted!

[@Gorilla_warfare]

It’s definitely the result of two competing alpha males. “Watch me swim with danger - I may not come back...” “Yeah, well, I’m going to jump off stuff so high I had to sign a waver...”

[@mehere8038]

@@Gorilla_warfare They also do jet boating, zorbing etc etc too though, lots of stuff to try to pretend their balls are the biggest :)

[@judylloyd7901]

@@Gorilla_warfare waiver*

[@KarlBunker]

"Salties" sounds like a nice snack food. "I'll have some salties and a stinger, please."

[@robertjohnston8531]

Only with vinegar.

[@gaius_enceladus]

It *does* sound like something at a "fush and chups" shop (I'm a New Zealander but I can take it..... :) )

[@munkyjammin]

With a Frostie...😋

[@kalanimuncan9807]

Ah yes, the death sandwich.

[@jeffdoell5064]

We locals actually call them Big Lizards. One morning the Council worker that empties the bins found one in the Airlie Beach pool which is right on the beach. Had to call the Rangers in to shoo her back into the Ocean before the tourists arrived. Now that’s a job!

[@EweChewBrrr01]

It's funny what we call normal life others call scary. We don't even think twice about any danger. Every time I walk out the front door the wife never knows if I'll return alive ... and that's just when I get the mail.

[@notnotcharles3022]

Australia really isn't that bad

[@EweChewBrrr01]

@@notnotcharles3022 So my life isn't in danger every time I go and get the mail?

[@astrolite3192]

@@EweChewBrrr01 You weren't issued with your standard anti-redback mail tongs?

[@astrolite3192]

@@EweChewBrrr01 You weren't issued with your standard anti-redback mail tongs?

[@EweChewBrrr01]

@@astrolite3192 Yeah mate. We are issued them at birth. It's called index finger and thumb. It really comes in handy. (unintentional Dad joke)

[@kelvin869]

Lol....l love it. Nothing better that ditch warfare. Very well done my kiwi neighbour.

[@kalanimuncan9807]

Look around, Ausies are better.

[@kalanimuncan9807]

JOINUS

[@katherinek6392]

I remember, a friend of mine visited Australia once and he didn't know what geckos were. And I told him they were baby crocodiles and they lived on land to get bigger before moving back to a body of water. I also told him to be quite around them, because if he startled them, they might bite him. He didn't sleep that night, I was dying! xD

[@bradleyedwards9244]

Must have been American

[@kalanimuncan9807]

Didja tellem bout the drop bears?

[@krisfox1356]

Let's just acknowledge the time and effort it took to put all that together. Accurate and funny as well.

[@nickdahl203]

''Salties'' sounds like some kind of snack food, not some murder lizard that justifies me carrying a bazooka to a beach.

[@skeetersaurus6249]

Funny...in the U.S., Alligators ARE snack food! Just depends on who you are, and where you are, when you make these potentially false assumptions! (Salties can't taste much different)

[@nickdahl203]

@@skeetersaurus6249 False assumption? What?

[@rastasrosco1318]

Saltys are snack food for the whites (white pointers) if they venture into their turf, me I don't mine swimming in whites waters as they usually clever enough to know we not so tasty , just don't disguise yourself as a flippen seal.

[@Kenmanhl]

Don't forget the Gympie-Gympie plant if you're in the forest. They're covered in fine venomous hair that'll deliver intense pain even to the slightest touch. These fine hairs can even get airborne so bring a breathing mask.

[@L1ama]

Thought this was a drop bear thing until I looked it up. The fuck is wrong with that country

[@kelliecanscan3364]

You don't like the idea? Good stay out. We don't need people who can't appreciate this beautiful country visiting it.

[@Mygardenslittlevisitors]

Damn

[@Fomites]

The danger of this tree is generally underestimated.

[@alasdairmcbryde7573]

Ha, ha ... this is so true. I was up north of Port Douglas and went for a swim in the sea until some people started shouting at me to get out the water. I thought it must have been a shark, but they were shouting about "salties" ... I was a new arrival to Australia and had no idea what a "salty" was. Then to make things more ridiculous they said "didn't you see the sign?" I said "What sign?". Up near the car park there was a sign covered by an overhanging tree warning people not to swim because of crocodiles. "She'll be right mate". One day they might get around to cutting the tree back so people who can read English don't get eaten. Gone troppo mate!

[@nooki1102]

How about do some research on the place your visiting..

[@alasdairmcbryde7573]

@@nooki1102 How about cutting the trees covering the sign and have signs in a language for our fastest growing tourists, the Chinese. And, who the hell does research to go to a beach for a dip at the water's edge ... I have travelled the world and swum and surfed hundreds of breaks around the world and never researched the beach. The only time I research a "beach" is to find out the best conditions for surfing, the tide, rips etc, but nor for an edge-side swim.

[@Lizzie-sp5dq]

Cunning plan to keep the population down... 😉

[@alasdairmcbryde7573]

@@Lizzie-sp5dq 👍

[@thetrashman3129]

@@nooki1102 it's called natural selection, leave him be

[@doctorjeff5698]

As a Queenslander, I approve this message. Kiwis, please do not come here. (hehe)

[@brettthompson3894]

Fuck that haha@Leonard Carr

[@Phuckitsthephantom]

@Leonard Carr Over Kiwis? Any day.

[@Boolama27]

Too late, we're already here lol

[@gubbahbunji7313]

@@jimmyjames1807 well alot of kiwis move here every year so it's safe to assume that you might come here one day. We have better paying jobs in Australia and a better standard of living. Hense why so many kiwis move here and it's easy for them to integrate into the country.

[@caino0567]

@Leonard Carr actually yes.

[@Riskninjaz]

Part 2 please!!!! 😁👍. Loved it. Live in Sydney. Grew up in auckland.

[@carlbennett2417]

No tourism ad for FNQ is complete without an appearance from Bob Katter.

[@lerags22]

That’s brilliant, the comments are even funnier 😀

[@Dehmitz]

I'm here mainly for those! Ha.

[@linzearth]

Very entertaining and accurate at the same time. You only covered Queensland. Over in WA we have Blue Ringed Octopus, Massive White Pointer Sharks, Stone Fish , several of the most deadly snakes in the world (sea and land) plus everything you see in this video. That being said, I've never seen a Kiwi go back to NZ for more than short holiday.

[@davidbrayshaw3529]

You forgot to mention the huge numbers of cashed up bogans and Gina Rinehart. Yes, I know they are an introduced species mainly from other states and in one case, another planet. It's undeniable though just how well they've adapted to the environment and just how dangerous they can be.

[@frankh2811]

YOWEE DOWN UNDER from another dimension

[@haydencooper_]

@YOWEE DOWN UNDER 😂😂😂

[@MISSODETTESWANN]

@@davidbrayshaw3529 Hi David im told everything has its purpose....just have to look for it.....harder to find in some than others. IMC a WA a dessert dwelling sister inlaw creature with a nasty bite. 🙊

[@davidbrayshaw3529]

@@MISSODETTESWANN I'm glad you stated purpose and not beauty.

[@Black_Kakari]

Redback funnel web blue ringed octopus, taipain, tiger snakes, and a box jellyfish, stone fish, and the poisonous thing that lives in shell, that stings you when you pick it up

[@emrox4181]

Come to Australia. Where you might accidentally get killed. Your life's constantly under threat. Have you been bitten yet? You've only got three minutes left before a massive coronary breakdown.

[@gubbahbunji7313]

@Imperfect Servant I blame the fucking Simpsons for the whole foster thing lol I've worked behind bars and I've never sold a drop of the stuff.

[@gubbahbunji7313]

@Imperfect Servant I bet he hates himself for that haha

[@basilpunton5702]

Imperfect Servant Fosters was brewed in Melbourne as an export drink. Export meaning for sale to Sydney. Think carefully about the competitive nature of these two cities. It was not sold in Vivtoria for several decades.

[@UriahD85]

Don't forget the road raged tradies

[@wouldlovemyownname]

That part about a one way ticket is spot on for almost every Kiwi.

[@deanmunrodotcom]

I'm born and raised in NZ and now live in Queensland Australia. I love it here. But everything said in this video is true.

[@ollie7247]

I’m hilarious and even I find this Australian

[@ShawSumma]

@Bealzer Mcgraw I thought it was funny

[@imbetterthanyouis]

hi hilarious ( insert my user name here ) !

[@QuestionThingsUseLogic]

@@imbetterthanyouis I think Oliver meant, "I'm Australian and even I find this hilarious."

[@imbetterthanyouis]

@@QuestionThingsUseLogic wooooosh

[@nzdobbs]

@@QuestionThingsUseLogic I would also say Whoosh, but I think the joke might be lost on Kerry...

[@RT-jj4ph]

We need Isaac Butterfield to do a tourism video for New Zealand now lol

[@nicholascharles9625]

Nah fuck that angry neckbeard how about someone less whiny who's actually entertaining

[@Nothing185-d2o]

Yes we do hahah 😂

[@potatoqueenjess3964]

Yeah we do 2 mate and Nicholas Forlong fuck u He will be the next auzzie icon

[@alrxxdy_dxxd]

@@nicholascharles9625 your fucked in the head mate

[@mackapacka2695]

rt i think he has already made one while reacting to a kiwi talking about how new zealand is better than us it isn't though is it

[@Sail2spear]

Nothing to worry about the sharks ate all the crocs 🦈🦈🐊🐊

[@carolley9705]

No crocs fought off all sharks.

[@LexicroftAlpha]

Sharks and crocs have already made a pact, human will be shared 50 : 50

[@fredrickrogers90]

@@LexicroftAlpha 🍴🍗🍔🍷

[@keenl4057]

@Bealzer Mcgraw ummmm crocs kill more than sharks mate

[@Absaalookemensch]

And then the stingers killed all the sharks.

[@shedmanx3640]

Hilarious, but true. Can’t even hide in your backyard shed because there’s more venomous spiders and snakes than the Amazon jungle. 😁

[@shadowbanned5164]

As a Kiwi I remember taking my family to Queensland for a holiday and in just a normal park in Brisbane my 6 year old son called me over to see what he had found.....It was a rather large red bellied black snake basking in the sun and he was standing right next to it lol

[@shadowbanned5164]

@Ed Kelly We spotted a baby Brown Snake on a rock that same day in the same park lol

[@mehere8038]

@@shadowbanned5164 you sure it was a brown snake as opposed to just a brown snake? brown snakes tend to prefer different conditions to red bellies, so not overly common to see them in the same area & red bellies are fine, they won't hurt you :) Just there to keep our population down a bit by scaring people home :)

[@shadowbanned5164]

@@mehere8038 Well I'm not an expert on snakes that's for sure I just went by its coloring which was a coppery brown back with a very light white/tan belly..It was pretty small and was in the bushy part of the park where as the black one was sunning on the grass.

[@istra70]

Exactly the same happened to my son when he was about two years old in Oz.

[@joannemurdock7899]

Yep gotta watch h out for snakes

[@DailyGrindAus]

The most dangerous creature in Australia is a drunken Kiwi...if only they could hold their beer like they hold their sheep....

[@tomwebb2285]

So is NZ for Australia, the same as what Wales is for England; the weird sheep shaggers that everyone else in the world mistakes you to be friends with because you're near each other on a map but really you both think that the other one is a shithole?

[@markwilken2492]

tom webb nah mate, it’s just friendly banter. We actually get on really well

[@nikiTricoteuse]

That's why our horses are so fast...... They saw what we do to the sheep.

[@grapenutz1137]

Nah...Ozzie guys most dangerous and foul creature.. They sound like they have blocked noses when they speak, wear shorts and t shirts that are 3 sizes to small and in general have poor hygiene and smaller then average dicks, which causes them to overcompensate and be loud and obnoxious

[@DailyGrindAus]

@@grapenutz1137 I think you missed the good-natured humour and ribbing and went straight to inferiority complex....maybe it's not a complex in your case.....

[@nem447]

I thought a New Zealander was just a sophisticated Australian?

[@kailasnath5290]

😂

[@Flshct]

Me, Who lives in New Zealand: D:

[@c.p.1589]

I thought it was an Aussie with a speech impediment.

[@lancetuckey6403]

You left out .....the un.....

[@kalanimuncan9807]

They are WORSE australians.

[@hoptoads]

Forget the crocs, the snakes, the blue ringed octopus, the scorpions, the deadly spiders, it's the bloody bad tempered inch ants you really have to worry about!

[@roblange1445]

Inch ants?.....is that Aussie for woman😂

[@hoptoads]

@@roblange1445 Do you know how long an inch is ? It's 2.54 cm long. That's where they get their colloquial name from - their length. Their reputation comes from their undeniably cantankerous and feisty nature and willingness to take on any sized opponent. They are the honey badgers of the ant world ! Their bite, though not life threatening, is excruciatingly painful and they will bite as many times as they desire to. The only positive aspect of these inch sized warriors is that once they leave the nest to forage, they are basically lone hunters.

[@roblange1445]

Sarcasm mate🤷‍♂️... have a good nite

[@hoptoads]

@@roblange1445 LOL, Wasn't sure, thought an explanation might help. LOL

[@roblange1445]

All good....I at least learnt something tonight 😂

[@kensommers5096]

I thought the furthest a New Zealander travelled was the Centrelink office at Bondi. 🤣🤣

[@jayrobinart]

As a kiwi I have a very strong urge to send this to my aussie uncle update: sent it to him- waiting a reply

[@kentbeveridge1685]

Not sure I can add to the list of comments..I'm too busy laughing! ...

[@peteradams8502]

New Zealanders think that the Canning stock rout is an annual event.

[@brianmcdonnell6758]

Gold.

[@scottanderson32]

Aren't the Kiwis doing well in the Americas Cup? The amazing thing is, 9 of them in a boat, and they DON'T make a run for Australia!

[@bjw4859]

You forgot about Bull sharks in every canal estate.

[@1986lazarus]

You forgot to mention in the rainforest the gimpie gimpie plant which has thorns so painful it makes people kill themselves!

[@LZYDOG]

Just googled it thinking it must be a yarn but fk me, you can have pain years after coming in contact!

[@28pbtkh23]

I have heard about that bastard

[@rasta77-x7o]

Don't wipe your ass with it camping.

[@LZYDOG]

@@rasta77-x7o 20 bucks?

[@rasta77-x7o]

@@LZYDOG Not even close 🤣

[@-MacCat-]

I just got this thrown at me by "The Algorithm" and it's as FAF! 🤣 ..... it doesn't seem to have worked though, 'cos you Kiwis keep coming over in droves! 😉 I don't get why, given that your place is "pretty sweet, ay bro". We love you guys 🤗

[@salavat294]

Thinking 🤔 of giving the mother-in-law a nice Australian beach vacation, just have to remember to swap her sunscreen for steak sauce.

[@Kayenne54]

Spoken like a Real Aussie.

[@Dehmitz]

From Outback Steakhouse, I imagine.

[@mattnorris7124]

Just send her somewhere up North, that's where most shit is that is likely to eat you whole

[@tototere]

Comments are just as good as the vid. Gold standard.

[@staroceans8677]

Priceless! Hilarious...makes me want to visit. Great PR. 👍

[@lmp8932]

Love it! Come to South Australia nstead, we only have the snakes....oh, and the odd Great White (Shark to you) here and there LOL

[@Julia-lk8jn]

Death: "A list of all the non-hazardous animals and plants in Australia, please". Death's Library: "Some of the sheep" RIP Sir Terry Pratchett.

[@saskiascott8181]

Ah, the land of Foureks.

[@hoonsenior6963]

I coined a word specifically for when I was reading a Discworld book in a restaurant. Snortle...the act of suppressing a loud laugh and attempting to release the ensuing pressure buildup by chortling quietly through your nose. The end result is usually side eyed looks from concerned parents as I cackle madly into the rapidly cooling remnants of my dinner. Looking forward to senility so I can reread Pratchett again for the first time.

[@ShaneMcGrath.]

Now c'mon mate, How could you forget to mention those bloody Drop Bears! ;)

[@HSkraekelig]

yes, but Shane, those are found out on the west coast and in the north. I don't think I've ever heard of a drop bear encounter in Queensland, but I'll check my sources.

[@scottyd2262]

@@HSkraekelig I just saw one an hour ago and I'm just above the Gold Coast. They're here alright !!

[@garyallen8997]

I was wondering why you left there our other wonderful friendly beautiful creatures such as redback spiders, taipans, brown snakes, blue ring, stinging nettles, Maggie's, dingoes and a lot more. You know why they don't put signs up everywhere it cuts down on the food bill. So come to North Queensland and have a swim.

[@kentbeveridge1685]

ah, mate..hate to tell ya this..but Maggies are here in NZ too..those bloody Collingwood supporters..just cant stop em! Oh, and S**t loads of seagulls..just buy some chips and you'll soon have bloody seagulls!.. As a bonus..I proudly remind the locals here that our Koalas are NOT bears!..Its my duty as a proud Aussie!!....then they always want to for some reason change the conversation to Rugby..cant work out why really!!...sic.

[@robertjeffery4664]

Gympie stinging tree will drive you insane It makes poison ivy feel like soothing Alo Vera

[@rileysmall4317]

Im australian but not from north queensland and when i was in cairns i walked home from the pub in floodwater through the forest (about an hour) when i was drunk and kept hearing this grunting noise. Didnt think much of it at the time (assumed it was a frog or something) but the next day at the zoo the zoo guide played a noise on his phone and said if you ever hear this get out of there for its a cassowarys'(velociraptor) warning signal its about to attack.

[@ellyneilsen2865]

Fantastic!! Absolutely loved this, I have tears in my eyes from laughing!! Best sense of humour ever!!

[@amyd58]

Think you're safe in fresh water instead? Nup, we've got bull sharks living in our freshwater lakes.

[@graemewilliams1308]

There's a lone yachtsman in the middle of the Tasman Sea. Suddenly a flock of sheep swim by. So he says to the head sheep "where are you blokes going "? Head sheep says New Zealand. Yachtie asks why. Sheep says " there's drought in Oz mate, we'll take our chances sleeping with the Kiwi's rather than get shot.

[@vesslewiththepesstle]

Fair dinkum, you east islanders are funny, and thanks for explaining the one way ticket thing, I was wondering way there are so many of you buggers over here.

[@victorrumyantsev3718]

I've been there two years ago. A truly amazing place. Yes, Crocs / stingers sighs are everywhere but I wasn't lucky enough to see them within 2 week of our trips around Cairns. I saw huge, scary spiders in the rainforest but they appeared to be not venomous :).

[@seanprice2990]

You don't need to be venomous when you can eat people alive

[@melanierippon7884]

‘Don’t let that dissuade you, they’ve got other stuff” 😂😂😂😂😂

[@tsopmocful1958]

He forgot to mention the stinging bushes in the rainforest.

[@cincin4515]

Yeah those thorny vines that grab you as you walk past and make you wait a bit. We call them "wait-a-bits".

[@tsopmocful1958]

@@cincin4515 Or 'wait-a-whiles'.

[@ateoforever7434]

And paralyzing ticks......

[@thomasgatley624]

As a New Zealander, I can say that this is fucking amazing.

[@Harryandleo]

Funny I loved it ...Good work !!

[@louiebee331]

What about the Sharks?....we have them in the local creek and up to 4m in the local River...and that's in the capital city of QLD Brisbane!

[@glenn-michaelaskew4079]

Very funny. Well done! Great video! Mate, as an aussie who travels the world (cruise industry), you had me in stitches & and actually, a touch homesick. (Currently in the Baltics). I had forgotten how much joy there was swimming in FNQ. I miss the excitement!!! I have numerous kiwi friends who love Oz, the sun, the sunburn, the sun, but are scared sh%#less to venture away form the major cities because of exactly what is in the contents of your video. Brilliant.Well done!

[@crosstrainingenduro]

Drop bears?!

[@forestsoceansmusic]

You left out the stinging trees, and one of the deadliest snakes in the world -- the Coastal Taipan. But hey, NSW is a lot safer, not as safe as N.Z. I know, but a lot safer than Up North AND North America -- bears, puma, mountain lions, I've heard even Moose can be deadly; but Africa takes the cake... Hey, did you hear about the friendly Aussie tourist driving round New Zealand? He's driving by a field and he sees a farmer bent over a sheep, so he stops the car, walks to the fence and cheerfully calls out: "Are you shearing?" The Kiwi farmer snaps back: "I'm not shearing with anybody!"

[@thomasself8218]

Yea in the U.S. we have Chicago and Detroit.

[@KegRaider]

Croc's are also known as "snappin' handbags" mate.

[@some_lemon4173]

When I’ve never been in a plane or been overseas so all my holidays are in Australia and we love bush walking so my grandparents have got video footage of a cassowary ( they have been oversea )

[@johannbrandstatter7419]

Great job, well done ! Most enjoyable !

[@DysnomiaFilms]

You forgot the plant that via simply touching it causes unbearable pain for weeks and harsh pain for years after, and which has caused people and horses to kill themselves just for relief!

[@alextate418]

Yep - and you won't find any signs around for that. I was hiking with my kids and stopped behind a group of tourists that were being told to avoid the plant by their tour group leader. When we got back to the trailhead I checked and there wasn't a single sign up warning of the plant along the trail.

[@paddy9562]

piss on it,,,not joking,nasty yes but if you don't have medical creams its the best thing for it,,, the Aborigines used this method in the old days but still if in emergency of no medical help is close

[@DysnomiaFilms]

@@paddy9562 Are you certain? People say that for jellyfish but we know now scientifically that can only make it worse.

[@evalkafox]

@OurGovernmentsAreBetrayingUs HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[@nikiTricoteuse]

@OurGovernmentsAreBetrayingUs Funny af. Actually struggling to type, laughing so hard.

[@jakem834]

The Australians are very balanced people. They have a chip on both shoulders 😉 New Zealand, where the letters U and I are unterchangable

[@creamysmooth79]

One of the funnier vids I have seen in a while, well done :-)

[@emmaherron5121]

Australia is an amazing place. I remember going to cape tribulation and wanting so badly to swim in the sea but after I went on a crocodile spotting thing and saw the size of them I was just like “Maybe not”

[@nathnathn]

As an Australian i advise against swimming on the beaches it used to be quite safe but the amount of jellyfish and the times they appear have only been increasing. Also I’m not aware of any main swimming beach that gets crocs the most common place to see them are in the rivers “both saltwater and freshwater” tho sharks are being seen more commonly but your fairly safe on that as long as you swim somewhere with the nets setup. I’m not planning to go swimming at the nearby beach anytime soon since you never know if theres those tiny jellyfish “cant remember the name atm”

[@lukeouthwaite9999]

Yes, us Aussies sacrifice Kiwis to our reptilian overlords.

[@lukeouthwaite9999]

@Anakin Skywalker Haha. I've never seen them in a city before. You might have seen this oldie. kzbin.info/www/bejne/aqOaqHuDnJqMoMk

[@Eric-kw2bv]

Those creatures are fairly savage...but wait'll you meet my wife!

[@OneStar-76]

Drop bears eat crocs and people. The drop bear, Thylarctos plummetus, is a predatory, carnivorous version of the koala.

[@cmamelgna5585]

Hey now..... I didn't think we disliked Kiwis THAT much!!??

[@peteradams8502]

New Zealanders think that the Canning stock rout is an annual event.

[@michaelmeehan5505]

Brilliant! Also, don't come over during cyclone season. You know, Summer! :D

[@StneCldKilla]

The Jurassic park bit hat/“clever girl” made me lmao good vid :)

[@thenextbondvillainklaussch3266]

"And this message is approved by the Australian Government, Canberra"

[@MarcoGiuras]

Your message in Spanish: 1 00:00:00,100 --> 00:00:03,000 Bienvenido a North Queensland, Australia 2 00:00:03,950 --> 00:00:06,263 Le gustaría nadar en un paraíso tropical? 3 00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:08,600 Ud. no podría hacer eso aquí porque hay cocodrilos. 4 00:00:09,255 --> 00:00:11,255 Oh, pero no se preocupen que pusieron letreros 5 00:00:11,700 --> 00:00:15,500 Pensará que hay letreros por todas partes en este sitio turistico 6 00:00:15,857 --> 00:00:19,737 No es cierto? No. En algunas playas ni siquiera los tienen 7 00:00:20,100 --> 00:00:22,126 Principalmente porque las personas se pasan el dato unas a otras 8 00:00:22,677 --> 00:00:24,677 Al parecer hay bestias prehistóricas grandes allí 9 00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:26,178 De manera que tenga cuidado 10 00:00:26,376 --> 00:00:28,376 Qué? 11 00:00:28,574 --> 00:00:30,574 Ja! Ella va a estar bien. 12 00:00:30,929 --> 00:00:32,929 Pero su seguridad es muy importante 13 00:00:33,127 --> 00:00:35,127 A los turistas se les aconseja alejarse 10 metros de la orilla del agua 14 00:00:35,168 --> 00:00:37,168 Porque ningun cocodrilo va a caminar 11 metros por una comida, no es cierto? 15 00:00:43,143 --> 00:00:45,143 Como bono ellos también tienen a los ¨aguijonadores¨ 16 00:00:45,687 --> 00:00:47,687 No suena tan mal, no es cierto? 17 00:00:48,011 --> 00:00:50,011 De hecho es término australiano; para referirse a uno de los más mortales 18 00:00:50,547 --> 00:00:53,126 animales marinos conocidos por la humanidad 19 00:00:53,727 --> 00:00:56,983 Pero "aguijonador" es un buen nombre también. 20 00:00:57,148 --> 00:00:59,148 Quiero decir, es como decirles a los cocodrilos ¨picadores¨ 21 00:00:59,503 --> 00:01:01,503 Pero ya tienen un apodo para ellos 22 00:01:01,544 --> 00:01:03,544 Han tomado el término ¨cocodrilo de agua salada¨ 23 00:01:03,899 --> 00:01:05,899 Removieron la parte más integral del nombre. 24 00:01:06,254 --> 00:01:08,254 Ustedes saben, cocodrilo. 25 00:01:08,609 --> 00:01:10,609 Para dejar un vago coloquialismo 26 00:01:11,121 --> 00:01:13,121 que puede ser usado para describir cualquier animal marino 27 00:01:13,476 --> 00:01:15,476 Qué pasa si estás remando en aguas poco profundas 28 00:01:15,674 --> 00:01:18,695 Y una persona que vive ahí te avisa 29 00:01:19,039 --> 00:01:21,039 Que hay ¨saladitos¨ en los alrededores 30 00:01:21,169 --> 00:01:24,361 No asumas que está hablando de delfines o 31 00:01:24,623 --> 00:01:27,094 alguna forma de molusco inofensivo 32 00:01:27,135 --> 00:01:29,292 Cuando en realidad se refiere a reptiles gigantes comedores de carne 33 00:01:29,490 --> 00:01:32,123 Pero no permitas que esto te haga cambiar de opinión 34 00:01:32,316 --> 00:01:34,972 Ellos tienen otras cosas también 35 00:01:35,452 --> 00:01:37,452 Como la más antigua foresta tropical del mundo 36 00:01:37,811 --> 00:01:39,811 Solo ten cuidado con las serpientes venenosas y arañas 37 00:01:40,009 --> 00:01:42,009 Y aves que podría ser un velocirráptor 38 00:01:51,470 --> 00:01:55,238 Muchachita inteligente 39 00:01:55,238 --> 00:01:57,709 Queensland, Australia 40 00:01:57,920 --> 00:01:59,920 La mejor parte es que solo necesita un pasaje de venida 41 00:02:00,105 --> 00:02:02,105 Porque es muy probable que no vuelva a casa 42 00:02:02,181 --> 00:02:05,908 Prohibido nadar Corrientes fuertes Olas altas y de impacto violento

[@ilaser4064]

Let us know when you're finished with the English translations, bloody kiwis! :P

[@MarcoGiuras]

If you just click on the icon subtitles/closed captions Google will provide you with one with no need of being nasty

[@ilaser4064]

@@MarcoGiuras *WHOOOOOOSH*

[@James-jg7kv]

Your time spent is appreciated thanks mate :)

[@MarcoGiuras]

@@James-jg7kv It was nothing but fun and also, the video is so good that Spanish speaking people should now be able to access the information and enjoy it as I did.

[@Mysterywhitegirl1]

Nibblers haha so good!!

[@markcasey2517]

Haha. Good job mate! Funny thing is I’ve never seen a croc or a box jelly fish, 33.5 years and waiting.

[@jamesmaybee6020]

Best travel video ever made ... well done ... well done indeed ...