A TRIUMPHANT MOMENT... BUT I'M BURNED OUT 🫣

In today's vlog I have a big win but I have to come to terms with how wiped out I am...
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#vlogmas2023

[@rootedreinvention]

I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia end of October and the "wait, i really am sick" is still so fresh for me. So you're not alone in those thinkings - they're natural, they're normal, they're completely understandable. You do a hell of a lot and the fact you still show up *is* uplifting. I love the realness Cindy.

[@MsCharlotte2001]

Thanks as always for keeping it real. Having a chronic illness or disability sucks... and our hyper-ableist, productivity-obsessed culture sure doesn't help. Wishing you and yours a blessed and joy-filled holiday season ❤

[@kawaiitropix4837]

Take GOOD care of yourself 🌺 you’re not expected to always be uplifting & STRONG 😎 Don’t burn out your body is taking a toll 😇. Take it slow🌺

[@citrinedragonfly]

Realness is refreshing on the internet. I'm sorry your reality isn't the best, and I hope you can get your transplant soon. Also - OMG Greeley! My aunt and uncle retired out there, and they love it! If you ever have run into a husband-and-wife duo called "The Two Bees", that's them! They sing and play guitar and ukulele.

[@suzisaintjames]

Re: dog allergies. Could be something at doggy daycare. Be sure everyone knows her known allergies. I caught my neighbor sneaking milk bones to my gluten intolerant rottweiler. Had to straighten her out 😭. 💖🌞🌵😷

[@lindabartolucci]

Hoping 2024 will be the year for you. Thanks for always being so real and direct - it’s the thing I love most about your channel. As for a win - Xmas cards in the mail 4 days before Xmas - first time in four years!!!

[@suzisaintjames]

Today's win: a loaf of bread into the bread machine. 💖🌞🌵😷

[@susanneschroder1674]

❤Cindy, all the best wishes for you🙏. You 've done so many videos this year. This is something you can be proud of. You often make list. Let this time your family make list what they are proud of. Theresa will be so much you 've never thout of. ❤Today arrived a big unexpackted packege from a friend. I will open it on chrismas. Happy hollydays.🎅🤶

[@susanlee8023]

Thanks for being real. It really really helps. Festive wishes, friend ❤

[@mljs9245]

🤦‍♀️ you said ‘gyros’. I heard ‘euros’ and was wondering who was going to Europe. Multitasking is not my best skill.

[@tinabrown6892]

I hope 2024 will be the year you get your transplant. My dog suffers from protein allergies. We tried every type of fog food. Duck, fish, buffalo, kangaroo. Nothing helped. Our dog is now on protein free dry dog food. Of course the most expensive you can buy. We tried the monthly expensive allergy shots and also tried allergy pills. None of that helped. It can be very frustrating and difficult to watch your pet feeling uncomfortable. I hope you’re able to figure out the cause of her itching soon. Happy holidays to you and your family. Thank you for the vlogmas videos I’ve really enjoyed and looked forward to watching them.

[@catcy90]

Take care of yourself, Cindy. We are raised to be able to work through everything, so it's hard to admit you've got to rest. POTS daughter has had a rough couple of weeks, and has had to stop a lot of things and rest. It's hard. I'm happy though, that my kiddos are all coming in for the holidays, which makes me happy. Happy Yule.

[@sandyseibelhager7131]

Our dog gets apoquel injections for allergies. After trying special food (we did the allergy panel) and pills we just found the shot worked best. He gets its every 5-6 weeks at @ $140 a shot

[@tanyasains6500]

Oh mama, big hugs. First thing is first, you, your family, especially your kiddos❤ take your rest, save your energy for them and we will always be here. Been a silent watcher for years- legit a decade 😮…. You’ve always been an inspiration and I truly hope you find your transplant match soon. Have a wonderful Christmas and I hope you get a much deserved rest in the coming days.

[@amberfinnsson3113]

Poor Lyla, maybe check if the foods have poultry in them? Our dog reacts terribly to poultry (raw and cooked), and cooked beef but is fine with raw beef, lamb (cooked or raw), raw moose and raw kangaroo

[@amitain4254]

I have had a really crappy year. I lost my uterus, my dad, and a close friend in the span of 6 months. The thing bringing me any kind of joy right is a video game. Never thought it would be me, but I've been playing Baldur's Gate 3 and I'll be damned if I haven't found myself surprised at the genuinely joyful moments it's brought me in the last two weeks.

[@claudiad7957]

Well, all I can say is I understand. Suffering from chronic illnesses both physical and mental, I can kind of commiserate with you. Top it with my brother-in-law passing 3 weeks ago and having to put my 9 yr old service dog to sleep this past Tuesday, it seems that all I've been doing this month is cry. There's been some great highlights, but somehow we have to make an effort to remember those while the bad times are just there, weighing us down. But... my son, daughter-in-law and sister are all coming over for the holidays. The kids just bought their first home and he graduated from nursing school last week! No times are only bad, there is always good, too. Lots of hugs and love.

[@saiaplanning]

I felt so bad when we couldn't figure out our pups issues until she literally stopped eating. Turns out, she's allergic to most proteins except pork. And most foods give her bad stomach issues. I'm so thankful for the cytopoint allergy shot and the single source protein dry food we found. We tried raw/cooked for a while but that's so much work and I didn't have the bandwidth to handle all that. Hopefully you figure out Layla's allergies so everyone is more comfortable and happy!

[@werelemur1138]

I am watching this on my new desk topper which keeps things from falling (or being knocked, thanks Princess) behind my desk and increases the usable space. It's been on my to-do list for over a year but I finally got it done. Thank you for being real.

[@ceedollaz6376]

i've had metastatic cancer for 14 years; this year after 5 years of no disease progression (which was a first--all my shit did for the first 8 years was grow) i've been back on infusion chemo alllll year long (with o end in sight). i've always been a busy bitch, an overfunctioner, type-a, and i've enjoyed it; when i had to quit working to go on ssd almost a decade ago it was devastating. i figured it out, have found ways to make life feel at least a lil worthwhile, and still: it continues to be very common for the following words to fall from my mouth 'i dunno why i feel so exhausted; i should be able to get more done, this blows; &c' it's a process, dude, and a long and variable one. wish i had some magic words of comfort or solutions, but that ain't real. we just adapt. to the new normal, and the new one after that, and after that.

[@kittencreates2785]

Taking care of yourself is most important. Chronic illness sucks, but you know that. It's good for you to listen to your body & rest when needed. I had to realize that & it's hard to do. A small...maybe big WIN here is that we were able to get a stray cat that showed up a bit over a month ago inside & out of the cold here in NE Ohio. She's definitely NOT feral...and we had an XL cage for her to live in so our other cats could see her & interact. The others pretty much ignored her. We named her Audrey while she was outside because she always wanted food. Feed me Seymore! She's become quite food secure and WARM inside & tonight we let her out of the cage for the first time. No fights, some hissing & she was ok going back into her cage overnight. She'll soon be let out to be part of the family as an indoor only cat. All in all, it went better than expected. Merry & Happy to all of you.

[@abczoomom]

I got a new printer and made it talk to my computer on the first try! That's my big win for this week. I appreciate you and all your realness...I'm bummed about yesterday's live because I was looking forward to the giveaways, but you and your health always come first so I will live in my disappointment because it's not about me. I hope you're feeling better soon if not already. (Arwen)

[@jenniferglover6417]

Also, the pup with the itchy scratches....I had a German shepherd several years back, who was allergic to everything! Grass, fleas, trees....probably us! LOL He spent a lot of time "eating the dog" as I referred to it. I had to give him allergy shots, he could only eat lamb and rice dog food, he took benedryl from time to time. His belly and in between his paws were the worst. I hope through the process of elimination you can figure it out for her sake!

[@ashleyhairstondoughty5542]

Agh! I want to give you a giant hug. Thank you for your honesty and willingness to share your illness and struggles with us. As the spouse of someone with a disability, I think it makes a difference for people to see how life *actually* is for people with disabilities and chronic illnesses. I hate that you are going through this is and I really hope you find a match for a kidney soon. ❤❤❤ If it helps you feel better at all, my “recent win” was getting all my grades in for the semester EARLY! 😅 That has never happened before. I was pretty proud of that. 😊

[@karenmabe9819]

Thank you for mostly focusing on the positive and occasionally acknowledging that things can suck sometimes.

[@trekkiemary]

I like how you keep it real. Keeps me grounded. Stops me from feeling bad that I'm not as quick and energy filled as I was when I was young. And that's fine. At least now, I have slowed down to be able to enjoy the quiet moments.

[@allisonwinters6442]

Ugh...I have been in those same shoes, and it is so frustrating. I'm usually the one who finds a way to get it all done, but I also have major limits on what I can and can't do some days. It is annoying and depressing. But it is my journey, and I continue to plow through. Thank you for showing your vulnerability. While I wouldn't wish that on anyone, it is good to know that I am not alone.

[@cherylmusgrove7]

“Chronic” illnesses - I hug you from afar. I know those feelings. Xo

[@lauragabbard4322]

I hear you! Sometimes you just have to step back and allow yourself to rest. I get how that sucks. I have Lupus and I have really been struggling to get all the stuff I used to do done. I get so frustrated and angry. But you have to listen to your body. I’m sure all of your followers get it and don’t blame you a bit. Wishing you rest and relaxation and more energy in the future.

[@jen-x-erplansstuff5407]

Thanks for being authentic. Not everyone out here on the interwebs is......

[@karinbara4537]

Please take care of yourself ❤ I have two chronic illnesses and I have said the same words so many times. Thank you for keeping it real. You are not alone and make me, and probably others,feel less alone in the constant pursuit of balancing chronic illness. You are in my prayers for a kidney.

[@lauracorsi3309]

My win was making it through Christmas. This year was pretty rough right at the end and we didn't have much for Christmas. Our win was having a nice day despite the setbacks.

[@xcali22x]

Always take care of you first. Natural balance dry dog food has limited ingredient options in every protein option imaginable. It might be a way to narrow down what she’s allergic to. I used to feed my dog fish as it’s great for their coat and any winter dryness they might have. But since her allergies have flared I feed her a mostly bison and venison high protein diet. Which keeps her allergies at bay.

[@vanessahawke296]

Thank you for always always always not sugarcoating a damn thing. The instagram highlight reel farce is so old and boring. Give me the real stuff all day long.

[@stephanieasuka6634]

I love you, Cindy ❤ I wish I could give you a hug and a warm mug of your preferred cozy drink.

[@morgandeen]

I’m seeing a lot of comments about eliminating things from your dog’s diet. I work at a vet and I’m in school to become a licensed tech, and I just want to say usually you have to give exclusively a diet for meant for allergies and eliminate literally everything else, and you don’t notice the results until after 12 weeks. Just giving my input 😅 hopefully that shot helps her out, I know it works pretty well for most dogs 😊 Also I have been dealing chronic gastrointestinal issues for years now, which causes severe pain and limits how much I can eat, and now this year have developed a neurological condition that is affecting my use of my left side of my body, and I can 100% relate to you saying that it makes you realize you’re sick. Because no matter what, I’ll have a good day and start bashing myself and thinking I’m being dramatic or somehow a liar, then the next day I’m in the worst pain ever and can’t stand up on my own, and I’m like “oh yeah there it is, I guess it’s actually happening.” 😂

[@schnauzergal]

Just make sure you take care of you! You need time to rest and relax. Hope you start feeling better. Merry Christmas to you & your family

[@susan_brehm_art]

I love that you share your reality. And I love that you’re taking care of yourself. We’re all here for you thru all of it. Sending all the good vibes for a kidney for you soon. 😊

[@bethrainbolt9642]

I call it out of spoons, and I am running on negative spoons. Take care of yourself we all understand, and we will be here when you feel better.

[@michelleherald9619]

Much love to you Cindy! You take care of yourself and save your energy for your family. We love you and wish you well.

[@wendybowman5871]

Sweet to see Odin looking over Layla. Making sure lil girl is okay.

[@shawnamarie6049]

It's hectic right now, hope you take some time off to relax!

[@TheKoffeeVerse]

sorry your energy tanked in this vlog. Just want to say you are awesome! Take the time for yourself... each day is a new day!

[@tessamayk]

💞 I so appreciate how real you are! Please take care!💞

[@kellysampson7850]

❤ hope you get some decent rest soon!

[@Sarahbear2000]

❤

[@IfersInklings]

Random question.... where is your keyboard from?

[@bethrainbolt9642]

Amazon has it. It is a USB keyboard that works on Mac and PC. I found it by searching for pink keyboard.

[@IfersInklings]

@@bethrainbolt9642 thanks!

[@LeahWriter]

Cindy, you have the energy of 3 of me. I'm not dealing with a chronic illness just chronic pain this year and girl you are a force! I wish you peace love and some well deserved relaxation. ❤

[@jenniferglover6417]

So sorry for how you are feeling and all that you deal with everyday! I don't know how you even get done the stuff that you do. Having chronic, severe health issues is truly the worst...esp for those that have always been able to do for themselves etc. It is really hard to not want to hold yourself to the previous standards. The struggle is real! Happy Holidays and wishing you nothing but uphill from here.

[@hege_r80]

I am so glad that you allow yourself to slow down and are learning to listen to what your body needs. You are an inspiration and role model for me as I learn to do the same. I’m really good at pushing and then everything fell apart in April when people I trusted to look out for me didn’t. Turns out that made my physical and mental health join in teaching me to stop as I spiraled down. I’m still practicing letting go of expectations that are unrealistic and I’m grateful for the community that celebrated Winter Solstice together this evening.

[@phenixplans2336]

Start with taking chicken out if her diet, most dogs are completely allergic.. we had this issue with our doggy, and it turned into loose yucky stools.. finely we started just making her own food, she’s healthier and happier! We make 2 week batches at a time, freeze in portions and take out only 3-4 days at a time.