A Very Private School: Charles Spencer Opens up About the Abuse He Suffered at School

In Charles Spencer's book A Very Private School: A Memoir, he recounts his time and experience at one of the most exclusive boarding schools in England. He details the abuse he suffered at the school, and explains why he chose to write the memoir.
Broadcast on 26/03/24
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[@mauic3884]

He’s a good man for bringing this into the light for all the children that suffered

[@jodiejo1958]

Stomach turning is right. My heart breaks for all these young boys who had to suffer through such horrific abuse. It took courage to speak out.

[@caroleknowles828]

Astonishing read; it's amazing how many young children became well balanced adults after such horrendous and dehumanising treatment. It's brave of Earl Spenser to speak up!

[@videoaddict961]

They very much didn’t, and you’re a bit naive to think they did. They became experts at masking or seeming adjusted on the surface, as those before them were, and the cycle of abuse continues to this day.

[@Melanie_Star]

Charles, you're a brave man to write down such horrific memories. There's no doubt it will help many other people, so hats off to you. Sending much love.

[@observerobserver6040]

Well done his sister would be proud of him.❣️

[@user-nn1xp9wy1k]

What a wonderful brave man Charles Spencer is. Such a kind heart. I'm so sorry he and the other boys suffered so badly at that school. No child should have to endure such awful treatment.

[@roxiesorrells4552]

I have always had the upmost respect for Charles Spencer. A good man!

[@jillruben8924]

What a lovely man. So kind. Horrible story and in that era it was acceptable. Good for Charles speaking out.

[@KZ-cq5ev]

So accurate for our era; thank you for sharing and your courage.

[@sissy9393]

Charles Spencer is a hero to write such a book. A man in his position to call out these evil people is very Nobel. ❤ I’m so sorry Earl Spencer.

[@stephb346]

Like his sister Charles has great courage, emotional intelligence and a willingness to support others.

[@j.p.9295]

Breaks my heart to hear things like that . Poor little boy . I thought about that woman, shouldn she be in prison , vile beast . Police definitely needs to investigate and arrest all responsible. Thank you Charles for making this aware to everyone .

[@almakelmiene2021]

Horrible, disgusting. What's wrong with humanity. Those schools should not exist. Those people should investigate.

[@binfacelardgod1906]

Well done for speaking up Earl Spencer. Don't ever apologise for having 7 children!

[@maryrosed8475]

I have read the Book. Very well written but also extremely sad and of course horrific.

[@olamisie]

Boarding schools are OK when you’re 18, so basically an adult going to the uni. Earlier is sick and psychologically damaging for a young child.

[@TheVenessa7485]

Thank you for sharing your story. So sad 😢

[@billyleroy2465]

I can relate ...I was sent to a very strict school in Switzerland at 9.

[@Yv1o5]

Went to one in Kenya. The more Spencer speaks of this school from beatings, punishment, drills the more I realize how similar our schools were and the whole toughening up expectation.

[@ggunga7764]

How can parents send Thier children away? Awful

[@sams3015]

It was the “done” thing sadly. It was thought it would be good for networking. Likely too many of these aristocratic families didn’t deal with their children day to day anyway & would have them shipped off to Nannies & Governesses when they were at home

[@roscaines-prentice3888]

I was sent to boarding school in the 1970’s, I was there for 7 years. There was no physical chastisement, but you miss the maternal affection, the love and care that you get from home. On the other hand, I had opportunities that I would never otherwise have had which helped me in many ways. Not sure whether or not that makes up for the negative aspects.

[@maryjbara42]

Thank you for being so transparent the sooner we speak the truth we can go forward

[@JenniferAdair-lj7ic]

IN SCOTLAND WE HAD TAWSE A BELT I WAS BORN IN 1953 MY LATE HUSBAND WENT TO PUBLIC SCHOOL NOT A BORDER MY MAN WAS BORN IN 1950 I SEND MY LOVE TO YOU IN MEMORY OF SISTER DIANA GOD REST HER SOUL❤❤❤❤❤❤😢😢😢😢😢😊😊😊😊😊😊❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@ernarc23]

I am struck not only by Spencer's emotional control in relating these horrific events, but also by his pellucid literary style--his description of Nanny Forster's predatory nature, in particular, as "veer[ing] between lazy unkindness and focused cruelty." He's a very brave man.

[@janejane5332]

Listened to this book on Audible. Terrible what happened to the young boys, would like to see justice if possible to the perpetrators involved at this school.

[@uPhyllisWhitburn-xd9fl]

Poor guy This abuse should stop forever

[@mickidonahue4038]

I am so sorry to hear this. I'm American, and always had a hard time understanding the tradition of boarding school, and this on top. Awful.

[@melaniabladeofmiquella]

This is why safeguarding is so important. Power corrupts. Sorry to anyone who had to experience.

[@algiles881]

It begs the question what is "safeguarding" and if it is so successful why are paedo teachers still appearing in the courts in 2024?

[@melaniabladeofmiquella]

@algiles881 well safeguarding isn't eugenics if that's that you are asking. They say there is no such thing as a silly question but really now

[@natasha-fk3pk]

Diana has a good brother. He would be a friend to Prince William and his children.

[@Oughut88]

The story of legalised abuse that Charles tells happened to so many, not only at elite British boarding schools but at orphanages and residential schools throughout the world. Many in South Africa, Zimbabwe, Zambia, Kenya, India, Australia, Canada and other countries endured similar experiences. Vulnerable children left in the ‘care’ of those that had no business being in the vicinity of children and adolescents. What is now known as ‘Boarding School Syndrome’ is very real. My husband, like Charles, boarded from 8 - 18 at an elite school in England, as did my brother and all the males in my family. Until my husband was 12 he saw his parents once a year. They were busy building the empire. The repercussions of early boarding are far reaching and destructive. How can one possibly know how to be a partner or parent when one has grown up in an institution? And yet these men and women go out into the world having been told that they are privileged and with a fantasy of what a relationship involves. With a fantasy of how to be a parent. Quite simply, young children are not supposed to be emotionally independent and brought up by strangers. Yes, early boarding is neglect on every level but let’s not forget what it says about the parents who send their children away to be vulnerable and at the mercy of strangers.

[@weightingforamiracle]

Basically parents put them in an orphanage. No better, as parents hardly saw them.

[@SMGAPR8]

Well said, let's not forget about the Nuns who were so cruel and wicked women, professing to doing Gods work,

[@railiedouglas3018]

My Father’s response to my pleas to be allowed to leave boarding school was “the fees have been paid, you wanted to go, you made your bed, now you get to lie in it.”Thanks Dad. Thankfully I was 16 & it was only one year, but it was traumatic & I was thankful to leave at the end of the year & move on to Teachers College.

[@sandramucha8948]

It amazes me that he endured such abuse on a daily basis, endured the loss of of his beautiful sister, and did get lost in his pain. He grew up determined to give a voice to those who do not have a voice.

[@jakua561]

So happy for him that he did this. Brave man. May it shine a light for all those in need. He has been through a lot, clearly he did some very deep soul searching and went to the source of his pain. Well done and may it inspire countless others!

[@helenweatherby1694]

A moving and horrifying book. I hope the authorities pick up on this and pursue the culprits who are still alive, irrespective of their age. I went to an all girls grammar school and there was a PE teacher who would be looking at jail time these days.

[@lyndsaythorne3572]

God bless your soul 🙏 ❤️

[@mikes11220]

This is/has been going on everywhere - there hordes of these demons in everything, everywhere

[@delythdavies4907]

The world was different then. Bullying was a part of school life, as was caning. Teachers were always in the right and backed by parents. We have now gone full circle and teachers are terrified of pupils and parents.

[@carlywright5127]

Possibly. But on the subject of abuse by those in position of authority over the vulnerable young or old is unacceptable and chargeable.

[@natpaler883]

It’s absolutely devastating to hear this story and I’m so sorry what those boys went through.

[@johnkeir4139]

This is what happened to Paris Hilton in her boarding school in America. Her parents had no idea mgt

[@sandihunter1260]

This sounds very similar to the way Indigenous students were treated in Canada.

[@thecook8964]

Well said

[@maryjbara42]

This trauma and abuse stays with the child for life it manifest in addiction

[@maryjbara42]

Brilliant that you have aired the elephant in the sitting room

[@jackiedouglas4483]

God bless Charles, Buzz.

[@lits3212]

So brave. Disgusting to hear this happened.

[@maggiesamuels2937]

We had the cane in our junior school in the 1970s not a private school and we had nuns for teachers .😡

[@mariannehancock8282]

I'm so sorry. I have nightmares about nuns to this day.

[@margareta249]

I admire Charles Spencer for speaking out now, Gives survivors who were abused in the 70s a voice.. I got canned all through high school. One time across my back. My dad went to the school and let's just say the canning stopped. My dad was my protector.

[@georgiedruce1688]

So horrific prayers for all.

[@cartomancycarmen]

I respect him, and his sister, for standing up against abuse. You can tell the Spencer family was raised well. I wish them all the best❣️

[@darioahangari8301]

Oh when they say everything is horrible nowadays! Think twice before saying that

[@anilasharma2371]

I feel some children who went to private school, some have been messed up , unfortunately they don't talk about it, definitely there is a darker side to some of schools.

[@MichaelGill-qc1cd]

Take care and God bless you.❤

[@Michelle-sm5tg]

Absolutely appauling I hope the state compensates all this pupils my goodness it’s horrific what those boys went through!!

[@bereal6590]

What a loverly man

[@notabene2677]

I love this man. He is a TRUE gentleman. ❤

[@user-ui2sx7rl4h]

What a very nice man…..

[@Kimllg88]

bouffant Maddeley. Hair goals!!

[@Nomoredrama2000]

So horrible and gross!! 😣😥Happy that he's found the courage to speak out.

[@MsxHolmes]

Jonathan Miller is Daniel Miller's dad. Jonathan Miller is a journalist and you all know him.

[@MsxHolmes]

Good Morning Britain has the blood of journalists on their hands!

[@anniehowell6266]

he had to watch william and harry go to boarding school aged 8 and didnt tell diana his past

[@user-nn1xp9wy1k]

How do you know what he told his sister? Diana went to lengths to make sure the boys went to the school of her choosing and not the one Prince Charles had attended (which incidentally he had hated).

[@Chipoo88]

Not all boarding schools are like this!

[@anniehowell6266]

@@user-nn1xp9wy1k prince william also hated his boarding school to begin with, diana said he was homesick. william was 8 and harry 7 when they stopped living with their mother outside of holidays and were sent to boarding school. its so sad.

[@anniehowell6266]

@@Chipoo88 they are still away from their families. charles spencer has said no child under 13 should be allowed to live away from their family

[@Chipoo88]

@@anniehowell6266 yes I agree that 12 or 13 should be the youngest but my point was to specify the type of school and treatment of the pupils

[@MsxHolmes]

Long Live the Queen!

[@avm9647]

I can’t forget his horrible speech at the funeral of Princess Diana - what a pity he did not get custody

[@orlamccahey1504]

Poor man

[@carlywright5127]

Parents beed to oversee and really listen to their vulnerable children. And a whole lot better. As well as other.

[@michelledavies2197]

Shame on parents that send their children to boarding schools. If you can't be a 100% parent, then don't bother having children.

[@pjnix5618]

Relatively recently ? The 1970’s???? Hello - the 70’s were forever ago. Glad he’s sharing his experiences, though.

[@MsxHolmes]

Who is Terry Miller? Terry Miller brought London the 2012 Games.

[@terryloftus3207]

Watch Michael Palins,"Tomlinsons school days",it explains EVERYTHING

[@railiedouglas3018]

I dare say the Prince & Princess of Wales have already resolved to send Prince George to Eton as a day student. Another reason for their relocation to Windsor. If Prince William wasn’t aware of his Uncle’s story already I’ve no doubt the knowledge of it will certainly strengthen this resolve.

[@MsxHolmes]

Catherine Elizabeth Charlesworth is Sherlock Holmes, wake up.

[@vgardner1688]

So very sad.

[@HURCNchristine]

🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️

[@MsxHolmes]

What's blood sport, Good Morning Britain?

[@KnutFan]

What is disturbing, among other things, is that this is how the current ruling class was raised. In utter devastation. This is contributes to why our world has become such a mess and so disconnected.

[@eveb.6568]

criminal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@SMGAPR8]

Those were harder times for children to speak up, private or mainstream school, we were raised to respect elders, teachers etc... as was our parents before us, to speak out was not an option, Fact!

[@nickm8810]

I went too bourding school called shapwick from 11 too 16 ban them know

[@SKF358]

So, he never visited his parents where he could inform them he was being terrorized?

[@MsxHolmes]

Daniel Miller was never married to Catherine Elizabeth Charlesworth.

[@jamespsyfer]

Something very Spartan in some senses.. just left to fend for yourself by the sound of it.. and paying large sums of money to be treated like that.Sounds awful

[@HistoryHunter3000]

Domestic breed ,breed for the system .master is father .

[@Hugomad2]

This is horrible

[@melgrant7404]

Why now.why a book.

[@johnhutcheon2806]

Are y'all serious. Feel sorry for this over privileged horror of a human being. Please. Let's blame their parents!!! Oh no we can't do that. All victims as usual to sell something and make money. Why does he get to tell his story without reply. Not that hard to talk about though until you are selling a book.

[@thecook8964]

Sounds like you are one of the parents that should be blamed. Defensive, much?

[@ritalamy5866]

Nobody really cares mr spencer.

[@Tawadeb]

Yes we do we are very sorry for his horrible experiences

[@jeremyhartley9946]

For goodness sakes why does Earl Spencer drag things up from the past, just to make himself relevant. Really! Most boys who went to public school in the U.K. at that time experienced some sort of abuse, whether it was from other senior boys or prefects, teachers or maybe even the matron. A bunch of boys cooped up in what at the time were quite grim conditions, not to mention caning and getting six of the best. Join the club! Thank goodness that the public school system has changed and moved into the 21st century. But really, to drag things up from one’s childhood, sixty or so years ago, is totally unnecessary and of no public interest. Keep it within his family.

[@coranford7463]

Good on Charles. It's because of people like you that survivors of abuse do not talk about their trauma and their abusers go unpunished. Survivors have every right to speak up and be heard, child safe guarding is paramount, period!

[@misskiz786]

Yes! Let's bury all wrongdoing and trauma firmly under the rug! Let's just ignore the pain and suffering and keep it hidden within our families, or better yet, say nothing at all! Honestly, people like you do so much harm on top of harm. Talking is the best way to reveal the atrocities that went on in the past and STILL go on today. Just because you decided to swallow your pain and become bitter doesn't mean others have to.

[@melanytodd2929]

​@@coranford7463🙏

[@melanytodd2929]

​@@misskiz786🙏❣ Thank you.

[@Chipoo88]

It might encourage others who suffered abuse to seek help. It never leaves you. He’s done the right thing, absolutely

[@mchaplin66]

ah didums

[@sleepycat8887]

Really? Such a silly comment. You wouldn’t say that if it was someone that you really care about. Someone else’s suffering it’s not a joke. We all must hear and be aware of these things, so we can all care for us and our families. Could happen to anyone. He’s being very brave by telling his story, please don’t diminish it with such banal comments. 🙄

[@kibokowill]

Barely anyone uses that word accept people who have been through private school system themselves. I would hypothesise that you are either deeply wounded yourself by your experience, perhaps without even realising it, or possibly even a perpetrator of bullying or abuse. It's the only logical explanation other than you being such a sociopath that you would need to belittle not only someone who has been through great pain but also any other survivors of abuse in any form, at school or otherwise. I would suggest exploring your own wounds, possibly with a professional.

[@mariannehancock8282]

Charles Spencer encouraged one of his schoolmates to tell his father what it was like. The father said, ''Don't be so wet''. He had the attitude of the commentator here.If people have no empathy, they haven't, that's all. But I wonder why they want to display the fact as if they are proud of it. Do they expect us to be impressed?

[@icewinddale2675]

This family is a habitual complainer.

[@debbywilliams9172]

My heart bleeds you've never been in care have YOU

[@leswhiting8943]

Why he's only coming out with it 40 years on............

[@mariannehancock8282]

What do you mean by that?

[@Cats-whiskers1]

Why not. It affects lives it needs coming out.

[@Tawadeb]

This is usual. Takes a long time to mention

[@sookibeulah9331]

Because most of the time people are too ashamed to admit they were abused. It’s only when it’s had such an impact on their adult lives and problems forming relationships that the pain of not admitting and addressing the abuse is greater than the pain of doing so. It can take decades before someone is ready… strong enough to think about it. This kind of abuse will have affected his relationships and maybe why he’s had two failed marriages. Many victims of abuse become addicts, others end up committing suicide

[@user-xg7ks9fd1g]

Many people have been through the same. 🥱

[@misskiz786]

Troll

[@user-xg7ks9fd1g]

@@misskiz786 many people have been abused face facts not just him.

[@mariannehancock8282]

Yes, but that makes it worse.I wonder what it would take to rouse your interest if this doesn't.

[@sookibeulah9331]

⁠@@user-xg7ks9fd1gand he talks about others who were at school with him who were abused far worse than he was who asked him to write the book to make sure all their stories were told. They all wanted the truth to be told. Unlike many of them he is already a published writer, and combined with his name he can get their accounts published. It’s only by knowing these things happened that people can ensure they never happened again to anyone else. Perhaps you think it’s better these things are kept secret and abusers are not held to account.