Private Schools Are Trauma Factories | Ash Sarkar meets Richard Beard | Downstream

[@j.c.ca.o.l7035]

I am from the United States, and I was sent to a military school, and I strongly believe it was because my father did not want to do his job. The trauma I went through still haunts me to this day. I am not a father, but if I was, one thing I promised to myself was I would never send my child to a military school.

[@chrislambert9435]

JC, When you have a neurotypical child, you feel reasonably assured that class participation and decent study habits will result in good grades. These children have close friends. They get invited to participate in social things like dances and weekend gatherings. They make the teams, auditions, organisations, and clubs. But when you have a child with certain differences, this is often not the case. Learning may take longer, both academically and socially. Despite their tremendous efforts, results are often a fraction of their peers, and social acceptance is fleeting, setting them up for painful comparisons and bitter frustration. Instead of a fun and fulfilling experience, school can perhaps become a breeding ground for depression and anxiety and a battleground at home. It is exhausting for both parents and children. But, with the right support, these children can sometimes grow up to move mountains. These special humans are often the inventors, the entrepreneurs, and the people that push society along, move us forward with their ‘outside the box’ thinking. We desperately need their input, going forward more than ever. And our world would be far less beautiful without them. In the USA this is the week of SPED (Special Education), Autism, Dyslexia, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) awareness, AND FASD ( Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder). For all the children who struggle every day to succeed in a world that does not YET recognise their gifts and talents, and for those who are walking beside them, I salute you. And to those amongst us who don’t walk this road, please let this be a gentle reminder to be kind and accepting of ALL people. Including those that earned a place in Private Schools Recognise that the "playing field" is not at all a level surface. As these Marxist-Socialists would have you believe Children who learn differently are not weird. They are merely gifted in ways that our society does not yet value enough. Yet they want what everyone else wants: To be accepted!! It is ridiculous to suggest that Private Schools should be Banned because they "breed inequality" when there is actually no equality in the First place, the second place, third place and so on. These Marxist-Socialist in my view would seek to Ban Children from listening to Bed-Time Stories, fearing that they may become somewhat ahead of their fellows. If that did not accomplish "equality" of result then they would have to Ban humanity, because humanity just is not equal

[@lagringa7518]

@@chrislambert9435 Neither is an artificially programmed sense of superiority.

[@yehmen29]

I agree, I think that quite a few of the parents who send their child to boarding school (and before that, pay a Norton nanny or an au pair to look after them) just want the child out of their way. They will trot him or her around to relatives and guests, once in a while, to make themselves look good, but that is all the interaction they want with the child. When the children grow up and the parents become frail, the children retaliate by hiring nurses and carers to look after their parents, or by parking them in 'care' homes... Families with no love whatsoever. 'Do not show empathy for other people's emotions' is one way to make people into model employees and useful members of society (as politicians, doctors, lawyers, bankers...)

[@joannagodwin-adamson4]

Made me think of the Film 'Peter's friend' which is biographical for Stephen Fry, (Etonian) a snapshot of an era (90`s) & an exposé on some of that public school/oxbridge/elitist /wealthy mindset & their management of relationships

[@CanadianMonarchist]

I’m sorry to hear that- sending you love from Canada! 🤗

[@RskeDwg]

This was a really interesting chat to listen to. I was sent to boarding school out of situation (something I won’t get into now) Prior to that, I was at a state school in South London, but of a broken home. On my first day, or more specifically, night, I was marched into a room with 5, 18 year old boys (adults, by law, imagine that). I had camping spotlights shining in my face and was ordered to take my trousers and pants off; I was 13 years old and prepubescent. I didn’t know what to do, I had just lost my Mum and Dad and I’d never felt so alone. I remember trying to hide being scared with my demeanour, and then felt a tear drop from one of my eyes, blinded by the aforementioned lights. As soon as that happened a brick was thrown at me, it hit me on my left shoulder, knocked me back and I started to bleed; it cut me open. With that all said, my background as a child had made me into a rough little kid - I ran towards the lights and the first boy (adult) I could gain focus on, I punched on the chin, knocking him out cold, all the other boys (adults) moved, concerned, to their mate, shouting at me to get out. Believe me I did - I ran. At this stage I didn’t even know the layout of the building; it was terrifying. Having thought I may have warned these people off, I soon realised I had thought wrong. Over the next six months, I was subjected to the most extreme physical and mental abuse, which, to this day, I still find hard to discuss. This was conducted by gangs of men 5 years my senior, which at that stage in life is a considerable age gap. I just wanted to post this here. Thank you, all, it’s therapy for me.

[@chrislambert9435]

What Socialist bollocks.This fails to mention the Thousands of children that found Private School absolutely Fantastic It also fails to mention Failing State Schools that have received double the amount of cash that the Private Schools got

[@zantecarroll4448]

im so sorry ..i went to all girls boarding prep school from 8 ..nightmare emotional pain..i'm still recovering from generations of that particular type of cruelty .. through the pain i developed compassion for others and the resolve to be a force for change .. interestingly not just for our species ..we separate other species children from their families to farm them ..just as we were 'farmed'.. the children of the powerful and elite have to be farmed...more controlled through fear than the 'other' children

[@chrislambert9435]

@@zantecarroll4448 The proposal is to ban all Private Schools isn't it ? What bigotry !

[@zantecarroll4448]

@@chrislambert9435 i don't know ..banning is a big word i tend to fear any kind of censorship even if i agree with the bias.. unless it involves the victimizing of those who cant defend themselves. .. then i think we have an obligation to make something ilegal.. to me its clear an honest conversation and reckoning is needed..in the US they have another also cruel system for generating a privileged and a deprived class and keeping the power in the hands of the elites..public schools are given education budgets according to the value of the property with in a very short distance from the school ..its quite vicious actually but rarely talked about

[@angelagladstone8863]

This sounds horrendous, I'm so sorry you had this happen. I wish you healing and compassion for your younger self.

[@pedclarkemobile]

I sat entrance exams for a few boarding schools but wasn't definitely going to go to one, I liked the idea of boarding because my mother was abusive, angry about divorce and taking out on me (more so than on my younger sister). To our surprise I was invited back to sit a scholarship exam at one school, even greater surprise- I won a major academic scholarship, the school would fund 50% of the fees. Subject to means test, I was funded to a small degree by our local authority. The financial burden of private boarding school was massively reduced. Off I went with my trunk and my 11 year old self. I loved it, no hot & cold mood swings from my mother. Surrounded by friends 24/7. I used to try to spend exeats with friends' families whenever possible and bring a friend with me anytime I had to spend a weekend at home (so that my mother would be less likely to behave badly). Unfortunately my underlying self doubt & insecurities prevented me from fully engaging with my education, I ended up hanging around with the naughty boys who weren't in my set for any classes. Caught smoking several times, even caught sneaking off to Brighton to get drunk one Sunday (vodka flavoured vomit all over the dorm toilets). I can't really fault the school, they were unaware of my home life and emotional trauma. I did minimal homework, minimal effort in general (scared of success perhaps?) But I managed to achieve high grades at CE and end of year exams every year so my scholarship was preserved despite threats of revocation each year. My best friend (another boy from London) was kicked out for drinking (several times & several warnings) and I eventually left the school and completed my GCSEs in London. My best mate died from a drug overdose a few years ago aged 36 and I've drifted through life without any clear direction & poor executive function. 20 years of heroin addiction (smoked, never intravenous). I often feel that the scholarship I was awarded must have been an administrative error because I couldn't have been worthy. Now in my 40s and clean from hard drugs and cigarettes but drink occasionally and use cannabis most evenings for sleep. I'm dyslexic and diagnosed with ADHD so it was fairly miraculous that my maths, sciences and debating abilities afforded me such a great opportunity. I just wasn't confident enough to chase & embrace success. In the end I got good GCSE grades but dropped out of A level and didn't go to Uni despite being successful in exams and in the OxBridge club (extension of the debating society). Being ridiculed and called stupid (by my single mother) throughout my early years caused permanent damage that I only understood far too late. I became a father recently at 40 years old and I am extremely careful about how I talk to my son, without self esteem we are unable to function properly. If he wanted to go to boarding school and I'm in a position to fund it then I would definitely allow him to go (but not younger than 11+). Many kids at boarding schools have a significant minority of pupils with difficult home lives, class and wealth don't negate abusive or neglectful parenting. If I could turn back the clock I would work hard and choose different friends. Coulda, woulda, shoulda... My experience is not typical, we're all different and boarding school isn't for everyone. Edit: my sister went to one of the 9 Public Schools a few years later (more prestigious than my Woodard Group boarding school) she is still friends with many of her schoolmates, some very wealthy, some titled)... She didn't go down the drug abuse rabbit hole, like I did, she went to the most prestigious Uni in Ireland later but never achieved happiness or great career success. Unmarried and childless at 37 despite proposals from very eligible and kind young men during her 20s, it seemed as though she was always expecting something better so could not commit but maybe she was unable to truly love due to the environment at home during formative years? Again I don't think that boarding was the source of her issues, but rather a plaster on a wound that really just needed love & therapy. Apologies for the long essay, I don't know why I'm sharing all this with the internet. It feels like an AA share. Thanks for reading.

[@bluebellbeatnik4945]

the only reason it worked for you is that what you had to compare it to at home was far worse. An abusive home is not a normal home environment and if society worked properly, you would not have had to put up with that.

[@pedclarkemobile]

@@bluebellbeatnik4945 I'm not sure it did work for me, I was an academic scholar that left education without so much as an A level. My point was that I can't fault the school for the emotional damage that I suffered from my parents. Had I been less burdened by emotional issues, I might have taken advantage of the social, sporting and academic opportunities that the school offered. Not all boarding schools are the same. Not all kids are the same. Horses for courses.

[@patriciam.1204]

I can totally relate, early years are the most important of all, we are formed then as people, my mother blamed me for her woes as yours did, my brother was always the favorite

[@charlottetaylor4471]

Using "unmarried and childless at 37" (or at any age) as a put down is unkind and very inaccurate for a lot of people. My parents were married with four children by their early 30s - absolute shitshow. Some people don't want children. Some people don't want to get married. That's absolutely fine. And having children definitely isn't the answer for many people (it certainly wasn't for my parents and many others.) Look at how many abused, neglected and abandoned children there are in the world. The parents of those poor children should not have had children. People need to stop pushing it as a vital life box you need to tick and accept that everyone's different.

[@margaretlovelock7031]

⁠@@charlottetaylor4471you are so right, two of my daughters have decided not to have children and one of those not to marry either. I respect them both for their long pondered decisions. Why is it that at a certain age the first question that a woman is asked is ‘when are you getting married’ and the second question is ‘when are we going to have a baby’. It makes me furious.

[@shaunperth]

This is the basic principle of the system in Finland which has no private schools, it’s much harder to crap on those that you have grown up with, go to school with and have experienced their life to some extent.

[@tonytidbury6569]

For normal people, yes. But there are others, for example most police. They have no problem crapping on the people they grew up with. In fact, it is their principle purpose, often continuing their school bullying. They are similar to the criminals, except they are more cowardly, wanting a badge to protect them.

[@frusia123]

I remember seeing Donald Tusk, then the prime minister of Poland, speaking with some Polish football hooligans. It was so clear that he was successful and they were not so much, yet you could tell that on some basic human level they spoke like equals - this is something you rarely see in the UK.

[@MerlynMusicman]

Do the elite in Finland not just send their kids abroad for school?

[@AT-kx6fj]

@@frusia123 Tusk is a walking disaster!!!

[@churblefurbles]

Finland is almost homogenous and highly conformist, vast cultural demographic difference, peoples molded by environmental pressures, not applicable to UK at all.

[@denniswinters3096]

The class structure in this country is such a subtle form of manipulation. It is also why this country has fallen so far behind its European neighbors.

[@cathihargaden1608]

Subtle? Trip to Erin it’s in your face 😮

[@chrislambert9435]

@@cathihargaden1608 This Guy Richard is against diversity Richard is spreading hate speech

[@richardfox9495]

Agree.

[@maywalker997]

I think you are kidding yourself if you believe that elites and class systems don't exist in other European countries, they are everywhere.

[@jaywalkercrew4446]

It's an outdated method the teachers have to teach, we need new schools to be built by young people.

[@gravijax]

Ritualised humiliation is critical in raising a class of politicians who can lie unashamedly to the public. They don't feel shame from dishonesty.

[@xxPenjoxx]

Brilliant interview, Ash. Really eye-opening about how it was essentially conditioning children. Hearing him compare school to the army and prison was terrible to hear. Glad I never experienced this, and I definitely want this to stop happening to children nowadays.

[@chrislambert9435]

This Guy Richard is against Diversity, its hate speech

[@mrmouse7642]

I was born to colonial administrators and sent to boarding school aged eight, then to a "second division" "major" Public School and then Oxford where I was a contemporary of Johnson, Gove, Rees-Mogg and others. At the public school we were "allowed" (at our parents' expense) to "take" a newspaper. I took the Daily Mirror and the Morning Star - for which I am eternally grateful. I then briefly joined the army, worked in the city before qualifying as a barrister where I worked in private practice. I then joined the Civil Service, by accident, and it took me a good 15 years to shake off the private sector, public school sense of entitlement. I got involved in the union, out of self-preservation, became a lay Rep and then Safety Rep, was elected to the union's National Executive Committee and my world changed - I saw the world as it is - for everybody. The public school system holds us back. As does memory of the British Empire and the existence of the Royal Family and the Monarchy - all seen as the natural order in the public school system. It has taken me a lifetime to learn this, as I was brought up in an environment which denied the existence of the reality of life as experience by the bulk of the people. The people with whom I was educated now run the country or feel they are entitled to run it and only their opinions count. And don't talk to me about the dysfunctional family relationships it breeds. In fairness, my parents wanted me to have a good education - which I had. But this would not have happened/been necessary if we had had an adequate education system put in place by people who had personal experience of it..

[@AT-kx6fj]

" In fairness, my parents wanted me to have a good education - which I had." Your parents "wanted", meaning it wasn't obvious in your family that you needed a good education. It seems that your parents did not have a good education, which means that you are the product of an ambitious family without the roots of hundreds of years of noble tradition! This is what explains your left-wing degradation!!!

[@Giovanniditessitore]

I loved your perspective truly enlightening

[@maebandy]

Thank you for sharing your beautifully expressed perspective in reflection.

[@chrislambert9435]

Mousey, When you have a neurotypical child, you feel reasonably assured that class participation and decent study habits will result in good grades. These children have close friends. They get invited to participate in social things like dances and weekend gatherings. They make the teams, auditions, organisations, and clubs. But when you have a child with certain differences, this is often not the case. Learning may take longer, both academically and socially. Despite their tremendous efforts, results are often a fraction of their peers, and social acceptance is fleeting, setting them up for painful comparisons and bitter frustration. Instead of a fun and fulfilling experience, school can perhaps become a breeding ground for depression and anxiety and a battleground at home. It is exhausting for both parents and children. But, with the right support, these children can sometimes grow up to move mountains. These special humans are often the inventors, the entrepreneurs, and the people that push society along, move us forward with their ‘outside the box’ thinking. We desperately need their input, going forward more than ever. And our world would be far less beautiful without them. In the USA this is the week of SPED (Special Education), Autism, Dyslexia, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) awareness, AND FASD ( Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder). For all the children who struggle every day to succeed in a world that does not YET recognise their gifts and talents, and for those who are walking beside them, I salute you. And to those amongst us who don’t walk this road, please let this be a gentle reminder to be kind and accepting of ALL people. Including those that earned a place in Private Schools Recognise that the "playing field" is not at all a level surface. As these Marxist-Socialists would have you believe Children who learn differently are not weird. They are merely gifted in ways that our society does not yet value enough. Yet they want what everyone else wants: To be accepted!! It is ridiculous to suggest that Private Schools should be Banned because they "breed inequality" when there is actually no equality in the First place, the second place, third place and so on. These Marxist-Socialist in my view would seek to Ban Children from listening to Bed-Time Stories, fearing that they may become somewhat ahead of their fellows. If that did not accomplish "equality" of result then they would have to Ban humanity, because humanity just is not equal

[@acommentator4452]

@@mrmouse7642 the mouse that roared. Hats off to you. Well done.

[@tomclark4268]

My widowed mother was educated lower middle class, left-wing but aspirational. I was on the assisted places scheme. Systemically bullied as I shouted my progressive ideals by teachers and peers alike. Day boy (definite split between day boys and boarders). 30 years later, still recovering. An awful, damaging experience.

[@hannah60000]

I have heard about the split between day students a boarder student. Hence, all the hoopla about Rishi Sunak being the first day student to become head boy/pupil.

[@johnwright9372]

I knew a man who sent his 5 year old son to boarding school. I wonder how the mother felt about exposing her son to bullying and probable sexual abuse.

[@ayoadebowale3291]

Thanks for sharing. Like your mother I am left wing and aspirational. But something didn't feel right about private school. So my son went to a grammar school instead.

[@traceybanting3952]

@@ayoadebowale3291, how fortunate your son is, to have a mother like you. Fantastic comment. ❤xxx

[@lynzannabel6990]

@@traceybanting3952 👍🏾❤

[@vanessac1965]

It is unforgivable child traumatization. Children should not be separated from their mothers at that age. It scars them for life. No wonder our government is full of heartless people. They have been emotionally damaged.

[@LA_Coaster]

Such an essential topic that is hardly discussed in the public square. Well done.

[@chrislambert9435]

This Guy Richard is against Diversity, its hate speech

[@estabi]

Calling private school "public" school feels like another way the smug British upperclass tries to troll the world.

[@juliastephenson173]

Not ‘smug’ as you call it but damaged

[@chrislambert9435]

Except it was/is "Public"

[@serinadelmar6012]

Hardly they were originally called public schools because they were open to educate the public in peoples homes. Public house was what they called a pub then too. That is what it evolved from.

[@chrislambert9435]

@@serinadelmar6012 This Guy Richard is against diversity Richard is spreading hate speech

[@estabi]

@@serinadelmar6012 Yes a pub is a "public" place but something that happens inside people's homes is the very definition of "private". The point is that the wealthy created an educational system that is not open to all (which means that it's private) and then go about calling it public. That's just ridiculous.

[@jujutrini8412]

My mother and father fell out about this issue. He wanted to send me to boarding school and my mother said “no way!” My mother usually let my dad make the big decisions but she put her foot down on this issue so I went to a single sex convent school run by nuns instead. I had an enjoyable school life, got great qualifications and went to Uni so my mum felt vindicated in the end. So glad my mum won that argument 😂

[@BeautifulEarthJa]

'single sex convent school run by nuns' hm

[@nledaig]

@@BeautifulEarthJa Sounds good to me.

[@nytesla_punk3327]

I'm doing A-Levels atm, and my privately educated cousin got BBB. Wanting to at least get an A to prove his mum paying 9k a term was worthless.

[@nledaig]

@@nytesla_punk3327 Maybe he'd have got f-all if she hadn't forked out the dough. He got an education. His mother paid. In a liberal democratic state she should be allowed to spend her money as she wants.

[@nytesla_punk3327]

@@nledaig well no. If his mother decided to send him to a state school, while rougher, he'd have a good, wealthy home to return to. That tends to mean better grades. Had their own bedroom, desk, computer. I do not have such luxuries, yet score higher than BBB.

[@Fireinthelake]

I went to boarding school for 10yrs and it's taken me 20yrs to get over it. Crazy to think that my parents had to pay for it let alone how much it was. It ruined my relationship with them for a long time though that is better now and I didnt even get good grades - my friends who went to state schools did better. The school itself was amazing but who cares when theres no nurture no guidance no protection no love no care. It's like building a mansion in a swamp - doesn't matter how ornate the building is if the foundations are rotten

[@undesignated3491]

If you went to public school the trauma is for life so count and be lucky.

[@Fireinthelake]

@@undesignated3491 if you have trauma for life it is bc you haven't learnt to heal yourself. No matter how severe the trauma it can be let go

[@undesignated3491]

@@Fireinthelake no don't talk of stuff you know nothing about

[@Fireinthelake]

@@undesignated3491says the guy who didnt go to boarding school but knows his school was worse. Dont be a hypocrite

[@jomama5186]

How awful. I'm glad you were able to recover from that. I can't imagine being apart from my little ones like that. Youd have to rip them from my cold dead hands before I'd allow this !

[@mrrafsk]

What is not discussed by people that have been to boarding school, is not the sexual abuse by staff, but by other boys. It’s rife.

[@jeanne2393]

exactly, seniors sexually abusing juniors, for example, is very normalized in these schools. This is the case in private boys schools in many parts of the world [esp places that Britain colonized]. This is mostly child abuse, non-consensual sex, and forcing minors to sexual acts, that range from thigh sex, to intrusive and injuring forms of anal sex. People who go through these experiences tend to keep these things private, and completely suppressed. The worst thing is many grown men who have experienced these forms of abuse force their own sons to go through these shitty schools.

[@richardrickford3028]

I think you are absolutely right here. There are layers of taboo. And the pupils being sexual abusers is a layer down from the teachers or house masters/mistresses being abusers. What you also need to realise is that the younger boys will mimic the elder boys when it come to abusive tactics. This includes abuse of a sexual nature. One elder boy (who was later expelled on another charge) took me to the changing rooms and forced me to strip. Then my study mates ganged up against me and did the same thing - and then spread rumours that I had voluntarily stripped in front of them in a bid to turn them on. Another incident of sexual abuse involved pornography and enforced sexual performance and severe physical abuse if I did not comply. Later when I was at university some fellow students several times stuck pornographic pictures on my study bedroom door and shoved some under the door. The trigger was absolutely huge. And sometimes still is. This is one of the many many reasons why bullies should think twice and more than twice before they bully. They do not know what old triggers they are activating.

[@maebandy]

It's the same establishment of dominance prevalent in the hip hop music industry and prison.

[@chrislambert9435]

Sweet, try to stop your unproven sweeping statements, When you have a neurotypical child, you feel reasonably assured that class participation and decent study habits will result in good grades. These children have close friends. They get invited to participate in social things like dances and weekend gatherings. They make the teams, auditions, organisations, and clubs. But when you have a child with certain differences, this is often not the case. Learning may take longer, both academically and socially. Despite their tremendous efforts, results are often a fraction of their peers, and social acceptance is fleeting, setting them up for painful comparisons and bitter frustration. Instead of a fun and fulfilling experience, school can perhaps become a breeding ground for depression and anxiety and a battleground at home. It is exhausting for both parents and children. But, with the right support, these children can sometimes grow up to move mountains. These special humans are often the inventors, the entrepreneurs, and the people that push society along, move us forward with their ‘outside the box’ thinking. We desperately need their input, going forward more than ever. And our world would be far less beautiful without them. In the USA this is the week of SPED (Special Education), Autism, Dyslexia, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) awareness, AND FASD ( Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder). For all the children who struggle every day to succeed in a world that does not YET recognise their gifts and talents, and for those who are walking beside them, I salute you. And to those amongst us who don’t walk this road, please let this be a gentle reminder to be kind and accepting of ALL people. Including those that earned a place in Private Schools Recognise that the "playing field" is not at all a level surface. As these Marxist-Socialists would have you believe Children who learn differently are not weird. They are merely gifted in ways that our society does not yet value enough. Yet they want what everyone else wants: To be accepted!! It is ridiculous to suggest that Private Schools should be Banned because they "breed inequality" when there is actually no equality in the First place, the second place, third place and so on. These Marxist-Socialist in my view would seek to Ban Children from listening to Bed-Time Stories, fearing that they may become somewhat ahead of their fellows. If that did not accomplish "equality" of result then they would have to Ban humanity, because humanity just is not equal

[@davidestabrook5367]

​@@richardrickford3028 I had that at Monkton Combe School, older boys would force the younger boys to watch porn, under threats of violence. Because cause I didn't get aroused, they called me gay. I knew the beatings would increase, if I couldn't continue to hide my sexuality. So I had to lie and say the pictures didn't show my type, and flick to another page and use my imagination to get aroused, so that they'd leave me alone, and move on to the next boy. There were other situations where an older boy put something in his pants, and told me to get it out. But I refused as I'd rather get punished than get in a sexual situation with someone I wasn't attracted to. Sexual abuse is a known thing that happens in these schools, as well as prisons. Which is another reason why these schools should be banned.

[@BeyondscutumCrux]

Great idea guys. This needs to be talked about as it is one of the great mechanisms this country uses to funnel privilege to those at the top.

[@chrislambert9435]

This fails to mention the Thousands of children that found Private School absolutely Fantastic

[@BeyondscutumCrux]

@@chrislambert9435 and your comment fails to take into account the vast majority of children without a 'Mummy and Daddy' that can afford to spend 20 k per year on their education, who end up with a sub standard education because Private schools have hoarded the good teachers and resources..

[@chrislambert9435]

@@BeyondscutumCrux This guy is so hell-bent on equality-of-education for every child, not only would He seek to ban Private Schools (see minute 1:14:41) He would have to also ban children from listening to their Parents reading to them bed-time stories, or else the more zealous Parents may give their children a better education than other children

[@BeyondscutumCrux]

@@chrislambert9435 What a stupid arguement of false equivalence you are attempting by trying to equate the speakers distaste at the un-meritocratic nature of private education in the UK to reading bed time stories to kids... It just doesn't work and makes you look a bit silly... Surely your private education should have taught you to regurgitate something better than that. All that money spent for this??

[@kemalistdevrimturkaydnlanm168]

@@BeyondscutumCruxpriorities. My daughter attends a private school, most families working and earning less than 50k a year, some gets help from grandparents too, don’t eat out , order takeout, skimp on personal spending like clothes, alcohol but pay for their children education because they feel it’s their duty. Why do you hate on this people?

[@martinwright8108]

As a child aged 9 I went to a "lesser" co-ed boarding school in 1966. Meeting up with other ex-boarders a few years ago I found that though they were well versed in Nietzsche's "what doesn't kill me makes me stronger" they had, like many, failed to read the first part of the quote - "Out of life's school of war". Some of us had been financially successful yet that hardly compensated for living a life terrified of intimacy (in all of its forms) whilst being completely unaware of it.

[@MerlynMusicman]

Compensation for something you're [blissfully] unaware of, interesting choice of words.

[@alastairsmith1096]

Spot on there.

[@chrislambert9435]

What astonishing sweeping statements you make

[@chrislambert9435]

Martin, When you have a neurotypical child, you feel reasonably assured that class participation and decent study habits will result in good grades. These children have close friends. They get invited to participate in social things like dances and weekend gatherings. They make the teams, auditions, organisations, and clubs. But when you have a child with certain differences, this is often not the case. Learning may take longer, both academically and socially. Despite their tremendous efforts, results are often a fraction of their peers, and social acceptance is fleeting, setting them up for painful comparisons and bitter frustration. Instead of a fun and fulfilling experience, school can perhaps become a breeding ground for depression and anxiety and a battleground at home. It is exhausting for both parents and children. But, with the right support, these children can sometimes grow up to move mountains. These special humans are often the inventors, the entrepreneurs, and the people that push society along, move us forward with their ‘outside the box’ thinking. We desperately need their input, going forward more than ever. And our world would be far less beautiful without them. In the USA this is the week of SPED (Special Education), Autism, Dyslexia, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) awareness, AND FASD ( Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder). For all the children who struggle every day to succeed in a world that does not YET recognise their gifts and talents, and for those who are walking beside them, I salute you. And to those amongst us who don’t walk this road, please let this be a gentle reminder to be kind and accepting of ALL people. Including those that earned a place in Private Schools Recognise that the "playing field" is not at all a level surface. As these Marxist-Socialists would have you believe Children who learn differently are not weird. They are merely gifted in ways that our society does not yet value enough. Yet they want what everyone else wants: To be accepted!! It is ridiculous to suggest that Private Schools should be Banned because they "breed inequality" when there is actually no equality in the First place, the second place, third place and so on. These Marxist-Socialist in my view would seek to Ban Children from listening to Bed-Time Stories, fearing that they may become somewhat ahead of their fellows. If that did not accomplish "equality" of result then they would have to Ban humanity, because humanity just is not equal

[@stothAjs]

first thing we need to do is get public funds out of private schools! they want it they have to pay for it. all of it.

[@johnwright9372]

The only answer is to end private education, improve state education and produce generations who are fit to grow a successful, prosperous economy for the majority.

[@stothAjs]

@@johnwright9372 well i think what i said is a lot more feasible right off the bat. plus they have international schools for kids who have to move a lot and dont speak different languages. they are expensive and posh folks will just send kids there instead.

[@elmondo-s1e]

@@stothAjs I agree. The backlash from influential, rich & powerful people who for some reason WANT their kids to grow up in this bizarre manner will absolutely prevent this from happening. Besides the government is mostly made up of those who went to private schools and they are the ones who’d have to vote on passing that through the Houses of Parliament lol. At the same time, the way things are now, I don’t see how they’d agree to cut off public funding to the private schools either. How do we solve this problem?

[@stothAjs]

@@elmondo-s1e personally, everyone ive told about private schools getting 1B in public funds is outraged! i think this would be a very palatable and achievement policy aim for a competent labour government and something they could do if the wanted to do (anything at all).

[@ben3557]

I agree that ending private education in the UK may be a good thing, but the state system set-up needs to be considered for things such as how variation of quality by post code / area and whether this would be made worse after private schools are closed as there may be a lot of family's looking to move to good catchment areas for the best schools (as already happens now, but may be amplified). Also do you continue to allow private tuition and other possible benefits that can be bought by those that can afford it?

[@williams9100-mdsf]

I saw this as the child of staff of one of the oldest public schools; whilst I went to the local state schools. I myself in my teens worked there too. What I saw bears out that for centuries these places are the root of our class system. Even in the 70s it was like Tom Brown's School Days - the abuse was rife. We are cultivating monsters.

[@superkingoftacos2920]

Capitalism is an idiocracy. Intelligence and empathy is punished while cruelty and incompetence is rewarded.

[@waynethompson4850]

Llllll

[@StephenSeabird]

@@waynethompson4850 ???

[@chrislambert9435]

This fails to mention the Thousands of children that found Private School absolutely Fantastic

[@AT-kx6fj]

The typical opinion of a plebeian full of complexes, educated in state schools!!

[@PetaloudesTouYialou]

Appalling institutions! My mother's older brother was made to go - they were close - and his personality and ability to relate to others on the level was utterly ruined. She often jokes that she's glad her parents ran out of money and couldn't afford to shove her in such a school. It's a cruel, cold and callous way to treat children.

[@chrislambert9435]

This fails to mention the Thousands of children that found Private School absolutely Fantastic

[@chrislambert9435]

This Guy Richard is against Diversity, its hate speech

[@HalimaBrewer]

​​@@chrislambert9435 But they can be happy sociopaths, who see themselves as superior. I am sure Boris Johnson thinks it eas great at his school.

[@chrislambert9435]

@@HalimaBrewer This Guy Richard is against Diversity, its hate speech

[@jomama5186]

How sad ! Wow!

[@vendysmith4886]

As a mum of two boys, I can't imagine sending them away at such a young age. I'm glad it's not even an option in my country.

[@maebandy]

Boys in particular are so negatively affected in attachment by an early break with their mothers. Girls are more resilient but the boys will be damaged and damage others for life.

[@michaelattia2197]

I was in boarding shool for four years. It was hell. It ruined my childhood and early adulthood. Boarding school in a playground for bullies.

[@chrislambert9435]

So what is it, that Socialist-Cranks believe should be practiced ? Do you-all suggest and seek to implement that 1/ Education /knowledge should be equally distributed into the Pupils/listeners 2/Education/knowledge should be equally received-understood-comprehended and apprehended 3/ As a result of Numbers 1 & 2 all the persons that were Educated should finish in Equality of grade-result ? Please consider this ! If you as a Socialist-Crank considers that any of the above three-points must be achieved, then I suggest that you-all are a danger to learning-children, you are most likely a Revolutionary-Marxist that seeks to overthrow Government and implement this type of ideological program by force, such as banning Private Schools, or banning Parents from reading to their children bed-time stories, or banning Private tuition paid for by Caring & Loving Parents

[@kowo6022]

My mum went to a boarding school from the age of 4. Now I’m a mum, I can see just how it affected her. Definitely repressed something inside of her.

[@Jono1982]

whats her attitude and body language like when you talk about her private school?

[@undesignated3491]

What because they brought up better, public schools are absolutely shocking there is nothing good about them.

[@Jono1982]

@@undesignated3491 which is why privatizing schools should be illegal

[@goodnightmyprince6734]

My mum too

[@chrislambert9435]

This fails to mention the Thousands of children that found Private School absolutely Fantastic

[@hicky62]

'There will never be equality until private education is abolished'. I think J.G. Ballard said this, and it is so true.

[@FrankNFurter1000]

Ballard was a visionary. I think he would have found the current state of the 21st century (particularly during and post Covid) very interesting.

[@hurri7720]

We understood that in the Nordic countries more than a hundred years ago, long before Ballard was born. And indeed it's true. But still it has not much to do with state or private financed education. The problem starts when a society (Britain alone in Europe) allows the state financed education to drop behind the assumed standard of private education. To me it's obvious that both the value of state financed education and privately education has gone down in Britain. Especially the private in relation to the reality of the world and Britain today. Not quite a winning situation for any country. But there is more to this. I would never put a child of mine (I have three) in a one gender only schools in some camp run by old odd peculiar teachers far from home. When my first born kid a girl was born an aunt of mine told me that I should in the begining leave her alone with God and not disturb her. A terrible advice, a human being is born in a warn noisy surrounding and being suddenly left alone must be a rather terrifying experience if left alone. I think kids are very dependent of a close relation to their parents for a long time. Not understanding this I think explains a lot about those in charge of Britain today and why the country is in the sad state is in, run by wounded toffs. Almost surprised to listen to normal sound people born in Britain.

[@B_Estes_Undegöetz]

This is a well known phenomenon. Private schools exist to train the ruling class to rule. Public schools (as in the North American meaning of the term) exist to train the working class to take orders and to work and support the current class structure. The reason so many people notice that most students exit public school not knowing how to think critically and express themselves clearly are simply noticing the fact that is not a “BUG” in the system, but is, rather a “FEATURE”. Workers need to know only to work and tacitly learn that the current power structure is indeed just and ideal (whether it really is or not). One of the few good results of the current identity politics and cultural, racial, gender, and class and historical consciousness is it permits us to notice some of the presuppositions of the public school system, and hint at how it might be different in the private schools, where they are taught to rule and control and convince others, not just do math or literature or science.

[@zurzakne-etra7069]

like in Singapore, where people have so much faith in their education system, because everyone is forced to go to the same schools.

[@undesignated3491]

We don't want equality why should a working peasant be equal to someone who is homeless and even pay tax to support their meth habit. Why should someone who pays nothing into the system hav equal healthcare and pension rights.

[@circleofmoonmusic9743]

My Parents worked in a private school and mainly for that reason I ended up going for 3 years. They worked in a boarding house and my dad was a teacher. He always said you could feel the guilt coming from the parents. He once confiscated a girl’s phone during prep (homework) time and her dad called and threatened to get on the next plane from Dubai. He had kids say ‘I pay your wages!’ to him when he asked them to pipe down in class. He was from a working class background. He was totally a fish out of water. I also saw the elitism from the kids firsthand. A traditional chant at rugby games against state schools was ‘your dad works for my dad!’ The hatred that we knew normal people had for us actually hardened our resolve that we were better. I had one rugby coach who said this explicitly. ‘Everyone hates us but we don’t care’. It was said in a defiant tone. After 3 years the strangeness of the environment began to wear on me and I felt that I didn’t fit in. I drowned in the all encompassing vastness of it, so I left to go to a normal state school.

[@chrislambert9435]

This fails to mention the Thousands of children that found Private School absolutely Fantastic It also fails to mention Failing State Schools that have received double the amount of cash that the Private Schools got

[@chrislambert9435]

Circle, When you have a neurotypical child, you feel reasonably assured that class participation and decent study habits will result in good grades. These children have close friends. They get invited to participate in social things like dances and weekend gatherings. They make the teams, auditions, organisations, and clubs. But when you have a child with certain differences, this is often not the case. Learning may take longer, both academically and socially. Despite their tremendous efforts, results are often a fraction of their peers, and social acceptance is fleeting, setting them up for painful comparisons and bitter frustration. Instead of a fun and fulfilling experience, school can perhaps become a breeding ground for depression and anxiety and a battleground at home. It is exhausting for both parents and children. But, with the right support, these children can sometimes grow up to move mountains. These special humans are often the inventors, the entrepreneurs, and the people that push society along, move us forward with their ‘outside the box’ thinking. We desperately need their input, going forward more than ever. And our world would be far less beautiful without them. In the USA this is the week of SPED (Special Education), Autism, Dyslexia, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) awareness, AND FASD ( Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder). For all the children who struggle every day to succeed in a world that does not YET recognise their gifts and talents, and for those who are walking beside them, I salute you. And to those amongst us who don’t walk this road, please let this be a gentle reminder to be kind and accepting of ALL people. Including those that earned a place in Private Schools Recognise that the "playing field" is not at all a level surface. As these Marxist-Socialists would have you believe Children who learn differently are not weird. They are merely gifted in ways that our society does not yet value enough. Yet they want what everyone else wants: To be accepted!! It is ridiculous to suggest that Private Schools should be Banned because they "breed inequality" when there is actually no equality in the First place, the second place, third place and so on. These Marxist-Socialist in my view would seek to Ban Children from listening to Bed-Time Stories, fearing that they may become somewhat ahead of their fellows. If that did not accomplish "equality" of result then they would have to Ban humanity, because humanity just is not equal

[@alisonwilson9749]

@@chrislambert9435 You already said this time and again. Go away, troll.

[@carldavies4651]

I remember meeting this Cambridge graduate. Posh twang to his accent. He was telling me how he went to private school, his dad a propery business manager. How he had a dilema on which graduate scheme to take, he may just go on a trip to india instead. Once in a lifetime, opportunities for a working class person, but for him, just one of many options. He had studied Tropical Disease at Cambridge so i expected him to be able to fill me in on the life cycle of malaria. He didnt know anything, less than i knew from A level biology 5 years before! Hed passed his studies but had no curiosity.

[@chrislambert9435]

What Socialist bollocks.This fails to mention the Thousands of children that found Private School absolutely Fantastic It also fails to mention Failing State Schools that have received double the amount of cash that the Private Schools got

[@wilfredsterling2124]

No matter what, whatever vicious pushback from establishment figures, Labour has to change the charitable status of private schools. Brilliant interview, really enjoyed getting a further view into this toxic area of British society.

[@wilfredsterling2124]

typo: have to change the charitable status of private schools.

[@Andrew-rc3vh]

I don't know whether it has quite dawned on you, but the whole charity thing is a scam. Charities are a mechanism where you exert political control, earn tax-free money, launder cash and look angelic all at the same time. Oh and of course they put on free entertainment for all your elite friends.

[@tomjones8715]

@@wilfredsterling2124why? I was privately educated. I make sacrifices to privately educate my two children. I also pay for the state system they don’t use through my taxes! I pay twice!

[@chrislambert9435]

@@tomjones8715 Brilliant

[@chrislambert9435]

This Guy Richard is against Diversity, its hate speech

[@cathihargaden1608]

All the public schoolers I met at Sussex university were psychological disturbed no life skills cooking cleaning and bizarre behaviour 😮 I myself had just 2 weeks of being away from home at 3 due to circumstances and it definitely affected my life so god knows how injured these people were- it’s a form of dehumanising kids so they get to make icy cold detached decisions about other peoples lives😢

[@serinadelmar6012]

I think you need to meet more, as those conclusions are curious and incorrect.

[@bluebellbeatnik4945]

@@serinadelmar6012 nope they're actually correct. i had the same experience.

[@bluebellbeatnik4945]

yep same experience. i come from a working class background in london and went to a uni here where i met ex-public and boarding school boys for the first time. utterly dememnted people. the boys were so misogynistic it was disturbing. borderline sociopaths.

[@christinebutcher300]

Having been at boarding school, I have to say I loved my school. It was a GOOD school, and I owe much to my time there. However, that's not to say i cannot recognise the damage that SOME boarding schools have done to some children. Not all children are suitable for boarding school life.

[@zantecarroll4448]

@@christinebutcher300 i think you must have been very lucky ..i went to those schools from age eight and so did all of my family for generations.. the damage and the pain resonates for generations...the advantages of privilege ofcourse who can possibly argue the joys and advantages of growing up with ...tennis, sailing, horses, literature, poetry, art ,museums, extensive traveling ..beautiful clothes, cars , architecture , the silverware! my god the silver ware! , ofcourse these things add great advantages to anyones life ...the club! the friendships ..the unbreakable bonds forged as if in war...many things one can say one is grateful for ... but none of them can replace emotional health and perhaps more importantly the terrible damage a segregated emotionally abused ruling class effects on everybody else in the society

[@raoulmontefiore4803]

An uncomfortable element of all this is that sufficient numbers of the British public vote for the likes of Johnson and Cameron. I don't think they're ignorant of the class difference, they are happy to defer to public schoolboys. The working classes are as socialized to endorse their natural leadership as they are.

[@toby81tube]

Of course they are - it's at the heart of the system!

[@ayoadebowale3291]

Precisely. You wonder why people keep voting for them.

[@chrislambert9435]

This fails to mention the Thousands of children that found Private School absolutely Fantastic It also fails to mention Failing State Schools that have received double the amount of cash that the Private Schools got

[@pussygalore731]

​@@chrislambert9435 Chris, stop stalking l the comments, you seem quite mad

[@PaulArrowsmith]

As a Project Manager of conferences, I once ran an event for an association of private schools; I'll not say which one. It was full of private school management and teachers, and the general belief by teachers at this event was parents who didn't send their children to private schools were failing their children. Or, as one of the speakers said, " some parents just do not care about their children enough." I nearly turned off the mics and lights and walked out.

[@chrislambert9435]

This fails to mention the Thousands of children that found Private School absolutely Fantastic

[@AT-kx6fj]

That's what life losers say!!!

[@chrislambert9435]

Paul, dont try to deceive us, When you have a neurotypical child, you feel reasonably assured that class participation and decent study habits will result in good grades. These children have close friends. They get invited to participate in social things like dances and weekend gatherings. They make the teams, auditions, organisations, and clubs. But when you have a child with certain differences, this is often not the case. Learning may take longer, both academically and socially. Despite their tremendous efforts, results are often a fraction of their peers, and social acceptance is fleeting, setting them up for painful comparisons and bitter frustration. Instead of a fun and fulfilling experience, school can perhaps become a breeding ground for depression and anxiety and a battleground at home. It is exhausting for both parents and children. But, with the right support, these children can sometimes grow up to move mountains. These special humans are often the inventors, the entrepreneurs, and the people that push society along, move us forward with their ‘outside the box’ thinking. We desperately need their input, going forward more than ever. And our world would be far less beautiful without them. In the USA this is the week of SPED (Special Education), Autism, Dyslexia, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) awareness, AND FASD ( Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder). For all the children who struggle every day to succeed in a world that does not YET recognise their gifts and talents, and for those who are walking beside them, I salute you. And to those amongst us who don’t walk this road, please let this be a gentle reminder to be kind and accepting of ALL people. Including those that earned a place in Private Schools Recognise that the "playing field" is not at all a level surface. As these Marxist-Socialists would have you believe Children who learn differently are not weird. They are merely gifted in ways that our society does not yet value enough. Yet they want what everyone else wants: To be accepted!! It is ridiculous to suggest that Private Schools should be Banned because they "breed inequality" when there is actually no equality in the First place, the second place, third place and so on. These Marxist-Socialist in my view would seek to Ban Children from listening to Bed-Time Stories, fearing that they may become somewhat ahead of their fellows. If that did not accomplish "equality" of result then they would have to Ban humanity, because humanity just is not equal

[@yveanmore]

What a great interview by both the interviewer Ash and interviewee Richard. Honest, open, discourse that was very enlightening.

[@chrislambert9435]

This fails to mention the Thousands of children that found Private School absolutely Fantastic It also fails to mention Failing State Schools that have received double the amount of cash that the Private Schools got

[@alisonwilson9749]

@@chrislambert9435 Did nobody teach you how to use capital letters properly? We learned that in my State schools.

[@GeorgeI996]

Absolutely brilliant. This interview really confirms what I have thought for years, these kids begin as loveless victims and can turn into vile, self centred, entitled and superior shysters. Thank you Richard and great show Ash.

[@brianoreilly239]

Some years go while visiting my in-laws in Yoker I remarked to my nephew that at least in Glasgow people were not 'ghettoised' into areas according o their religion as in Belfast. " Not so sure about that uncle , have you seen the graffiti on the bridge as you enter Clydebank?" ..." No, what is it ?" ..." You are now entering Planet of the Papes"

[@mrkiplingreallywasanexceed8311]

Come on, George 1996 - I mean yeah, enjoy the show but a) smell the ultra left wing odour and b) don't forget the guy's got a book to sell. By all means be interested in and engaged with the subject in general and the specific points raised in the video - but there's no need to be brainwashed by what you just heard and treat it like some long lost ancient knowledge has been revealed to you. These are just two people having a chat on the net, they're not soothsayers, wise men/wise women, auguries, diviners, tea leaf/palm/crystal ball gazers and rune interpreters. I also happened to agree with some of it - much of it - but you can see Ash's political sympathies from 20miles away and there's no need to accept them without first checking whether you REALLY do. I have to say, unfair/unequal or not - if I have got the opportunity to vote for a white middle class - or British Asian - or Jamaican guy as prime minister, who I feel would serve the country better than the other candidates, then I will vote for them and not really care if they went to Eton and Oxford..... Nor should you assume that everyone who's been to public school has been mercilessly abused by one or more teachers (I wasnt, for example) or much older pupils (Ditto)

[@chrislambert9435]

George, When you have a neurotypical child, you feel reasonably assured that class participation and decent study habits will result in good grades. These children have close friends. They get invited to participate in social things like dances and weekend gatherings. They make the teams, auditions, organisations, and clubs. But when you have a child with certain differences, this is often not the case. Learning may take longer, both academically and socially. Despite their tremendous efforts, results are often a fraction of their peers, and social acceptance is fleeting, setting them up for painful comparisons and bitter frustration. Instead of a fun and fulfilling experience, school can perhaps become a breeding ground for depression and anxiety and a battleground at home. It is exhausting for both parents and children. But, with the right support, these children can sometimes grow up to move mountains. These special humans are often the inventors, the entrepreneurs, and the people that push society along, move us forward with their ‘outside the box’ thinking. We desperately need their input, going forward more than ever. And our world would be far less beautiful without them. In the USA this is the week of SPED (Special Education), Autism, Dyslexia, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) awareness, AND FASD ( Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder). For all the children who struggle every day to succeed in a world that does not YET recognise their gifts and talents, and for those who are walking beside them, I salute you. And to those amongst us who don’t walk this road, please let this be a gentle reminder to be kind and accepting of ALL people. Including those that earned a place in Private Schools Recognise that the "playing field" is not at all a level surface. As these Marxist-Socialists would have you believe Children who learn differently are not weird. They are merely gifted in ways that our society does not yet value enough. Yet they want what everyone else wants: To be accepted!! It is ridiculous to suggest that Private Schools should be Banned because they "breed inequality" when there is actually no equality in the First place, the second place, third place and so on. These Marxist-Socialist in my view would seek to Ban Children from listening to Bed-Time Stories, fearing that they may become somewhat ahead of their fellows. If that did not accomplish "equality" of result then they would have to Ban humanity, because humanity just is not equal

[@LeahDyson-kq4bd]

I learned that from Dickens

[@RichardSamson]

That is a brilliant interview. Congratulations, Ms Sarkar! I am the damaged goods of this school system. I am going to buy your book, Mr Beard, today! I look forward to hearing more from you.

[@chrislambert9435]

This fails to mention the Thousands of children that found Private School absolutely Fantastic It also fails to mention Failing State Schools that have received double the amount of cash that the Private Schools got

[@butterflymoon6368]

I met people from boarding school at uni and I felt like they were fkn nuts. The guys were just empty. So many internalised systems and so many ways they would go about trying to feel more important than others.

[@arthurmoore8521]

Wonderful interview. Thank you so much for the insight into what lies behind the rulers of our country and why they act as if they deserve to do what they want with impunity. The point about why Macmillan was more in tune with the working class goes a long way to explain why our NHS is being painstakingly dismantled.

[@gillps5130]

And how do you explain all the other disgraceful politicians and leaders across the spectrum and in countries where education is uniform.

[@hnybee113]

As an American I was completely stunned at how classism was so present in these schools. How boys were sexually bullying by upper classmates. Talk about trauma.

[@chrislambert9435]

Laura, please cut out your sweeping generalisations, When you have a neurotypical child, you feel reasonably assured that class participation and decent study habits will result in good grades. These children have close friends. They get invited to participate in social things like dances and weekend gatherings. They make the teams, auditions, organisations, and clubs. But when you have a child with certain differences, this is often not the case. Learning may take longer, both academically and socially. Despite their tremendous efforts, results are often a fraction of their peers, and social acceptance is fleeting, setting them up for painful comparisons and bitter frustration. Instead of a fun and fulfilling experience, school can perhaps become a breeding ground for depression and anxiety and a battleground at home. It is exhausting for both parents and children. But, with the right support, these children can sometimes grow up to move mountains. These special humans are often the inventors, the entrepreneurs, and the people that push society along, move us forward with their ‘outside the box’ thinking. We desperately need their input, going forward more than ever. And our world would be far less beautiful without them. In the USA this is the week of SPED (Special Education), Autism, Dyslexia, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) awareness, AND FASD ( Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder). For all the children who struggle every day to succeed in a world that does not YET recognise their gifts and talents, and for those who are walking beside them, I salute you. And to those amongst us who don’t walk this road, please let this be a gentle reminder to be kind and accepting of ALL people. Including those that earned a place in Private Schools Recognise that the "playing field" is not at all a level surface. As these Marxist-Socialists would have you believe Children who learn differently are not weird. They are merely gifted in ways that our society does not yet value enough. Yet they want what everyone else wants: To be accepted!! It is ridiculous to suggest that Private Schools should be Banned because they "breed inequality" when there is actually no equality in the First place, the second place, third place and so on. These Marxist-Socialist in my view would seek to Ban Children from listening to Bed-Time Stories, fearing that they may become somewhat ahead of their fellows. If that did not accomplish "equality" of result then they would have to Ban humanity, because humanity just is not equal

[@alisonwilson9749]

@@chrislambert9435 borrrring

[@lemsip207]

​@@alisonwilson9749Report him for spamming.

[@lemsip207]

But there are boarding schools for the wealthy in the USA and military schools too. Though the proportion of children in boarding schools is higher in the UK than in the USA. Piers Cross is an ex boarder whi has a channel on KZbin where he talks with other ex boarders including Richard Beard and Charles Spencer. It is an eye opener.

[@Oughut88]

All the males in my family and in my husband’s boarded from a young age. They are all emotionally damaged, and, as one would expect, have no understanding of relationships or family. But because they are over educated and often over entitled and privileged, it comes as an enormous shock to them when they realise they have no concept of how to navigate intimacy. That it’s not about what they think.

[@simonbrook3076]

What a fantastic conversation that was. Thanks Novara and thanks to Richard Beard for raising such important observations about how our society functions- and with such compassion. Bravo 👏

[@chrislambert9435]

Simon, dont be fooled, When you have a neurotypical child, you feel reasonably assured that class participation and decent study habits will result in good grades. These children have close friends. They get invited to participate in social things like dances and weekend gatherings. They make the teams, auditions, organisations, and clubs. But when you have a child with certain differences, this is often not the case. Learning may take longer, both academically and socially. Despite their tremendous efforts, results are often a fraction of their peers, and social acceptance is fleeting, setting them up for painful comparisons and bitter frustration. Instead of a fun and fulfilling experience, school can perhaps become a breeding ground for depression and anxiety and a battleground at home. It is exhausting for both parents and children. But, with the right support, these children can sometimes grow up to move mountains. These special humans are often the inventors, the entrepreneurs, and the people that push society along, move us forward with their ‘outside the box’ thinking. We desperately need their input, going forward more than ever. And our world would be far less beautiful without them. In the USA this is the week of SPED (Special Education), Autism, Dyslexia, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) awareness, AND FASD ( Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder). For all the children who struggle every day to succeed in a world that does not YET recognise their gifts and talents, and for those who are walking beside them, I salute you. And to those amongst us who don’t walk this road, please let this be a gentle reminder to be kind and accepting of ALL people. Including those that earned a place in Private Schools Recognise that the "playing field" is not at all a level surface. As these Marxist-Socialists would have you believe Children who learn differently are not weird. They are merely gifted in ways that our society does not yet value enough. Yet they want what everyone else wants: To be accepted!! It is ridiculous to suggest that Private Schools should be Banned because they "breed inequality" when there is actually no equality in the First place, the second place, third place and so on. These Marxist-Socialist in my view would seek to Ban Children from listening to Bed-Time Stories, fearing that they may become somewhat ahead of their fellows. If that did not accomplish "equality" of result then they would have to Ban humanity, because humanity just is not equal

[@alisonwilson9749]

@@chrislambert9435 Borrrrring

[@0532phillipjoy]

As Grammar School educated teacher, I was channelled into Private education during teacher training and thereby to a top Prep School for my first job. It felt as if doors were shutting as much as opening.

[@KerryMetcalfe1]

My ex-partner, whose family lived locally, attended a boarding school now notorious for its sexually abusive monks. He didn't fit the private school mould and ultimately ended up becoming a drug-using, semi-alcoholic unemployed adult. Based on his emotional abuse of me, I often wonder what it did to his psyche; he was certainly emotionally repressed. He spoke of peers who were very likely sexually abused, of abuse from older students. It sounded horrible and I cannot understand parents who inflict such awfulness on their kids in their formative years. It's thinly disguised abuse and it's about time it ended and we had educational parity for all children.

[@chrislambert9435]

What Socialist bollocks.This fails to mention the Thousands of children that found Private School absolutely Fantastic It also fails to mention Failing State Schools that have received double the amount of cash that the Private Schools got

[@MQofScots]

Wonderful interview! Both the interviewer and interviewee were superb. I understand now how unresolved personal psychological trauma is transferred to societal trauma😢

[@HappyCodingZX]

Fascinating interview, thankyou. What surprised me however is that not a lot is mentioned about what I think was the ultimate purpose of public schools when they were established - to create the officer class. There is a focus on patriotism, glory and honour, a strict hierarchy of authority, emotional detachment from an early age, physical fitness, an all-male environment and a sense of superiority over outsiders. All of this takes away a part of the boys' humanity and prepares them for service. The Duke of Wellington himself ascribed his success at Waterloo to the playing fields of Eton. In the modern era however, most of these boys move into politics and business, where their conditioning and lack of empathy rarely serve others well.

[@mawkernewek]

Ultimately its an imitation of Ancient Sparta.

[@HappyCodingZX]

@@mawkernewek indeed - it wouldn't surprise me if there was a smoke filled room a few hundred years ago where they came up with the model and based it on that.

[@Shikuesi]

@@HappyCodingZX Well, Eton at least predates Water Raleigh's introduction of tobacco to England

[@chrislambert9435]

This fails to mention the Thousands of children that found Private School absolutely Fantastic It also fails to mention Failing State Schools that have received double the amount of cash that the Private Schools got

[@HappyCodingZX]

​@@chrislambert9435 I'm sure it was fun for those that fitted in. My experience was that anyone from a different background or culture that didn't conform, or anyone who was not good at rugby or cricket found themselves isolated, bullied and ostracised. However that is only my personal experience, it doesn't mean it was like that everywhere. When you say they received double the amount of cash, does that include all the fees and private donations that these schools receive?

[@Sarah-J-she]

I loved this interview, so much to think about. Thanks Ash! One thing that resonated with me was how much misogyny there was among the pupils in my boarding school. It was deeply harmful to me, and made it much harder for me to accept myself.

[@ruthpower4892]

Was it a mixed school?

[@Sarah-J-she]

@@ruthpower4892 No it was an all boys school. I am trans, and had my femininity bullied and beaten out of me, while I was taught to 'be a man' by other traumatised boys. If you wanted to insult another boy you would call them 'a woman'. I internalised so much misogyny that it took me years to process who I really was.

[@chrislambert9435]

Sarah, dont be fooled by this, When you have a neurotypical child, you feel reasonably assured that class participation and decent study habits will result in good grades. These children have close friends. They get invited to participate in social things like dances and weekend gatherings. They make the teams, auditions, organisations, and clubs. But when you have a child with certain differences, this is often not the case. Learning may take longer, both academically and socially. Despite their tremendous efforts, results are often a fraction of their peers, and social acceptance is fleeting, setting them up for painful comparisons and bitter frustration. Instead of a fun and fulfilling experience, school can perhaps become a breeding ground for depression and anxiety and a battleground at home. It is exhausting for both parents and children. But, with the right support, these children can sometimes grow up to move mountains. These special humans are often the inventors, the entrepreneurs, and the people that push society along, move us forward with their ‘outside the box’ thinking. We desperately need their input, going forward more than ever. And our world would be far less beautiful without them. In the USA this is the week of SPED (Special Education), Autism, Dyslexia, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) awareness, AND FASD ( Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder). For all the children who struggle every day to succeed in a world that does not YET recognise their gifts and talents, and for those who are walking beside them, I salute you. And to those amongst us who don’t walk this road, please let this be a gentle reminder to be kind and accepting of ALL people. Including those that earned a place in Private Schools Recognise that the "playing field" is not at all a level surface. As these Marxist-Socialists would have you believe Children who learn differently are not weird. They are merely gifted in ways that our society does not yet value enough. Yet they want what everyone else wants: To be accepted!! It is ridiculous to suggest that Private Schools should be Banned because they "breed inequality" when there is actually no equality in the First place, the second place, third place and so on. These Marxist-Socialist in my view would seek to Ban Children from listening to Bed-Time Stories, fearing that they may become somewhat ahead of their fellows. If that did not accomplish "equality" of result then they would have to Ban humanity, because humanity just is not equal

[@MarkPMus]

I went to a private non-boarding primary school. The story Richard told about bowel movements reminded me that we had to do “toilet duty” at school. We were sent on a rota basis to sit outside the loos with our work. Whenever a boy went in the toilet we had to check after them to see if they’d made a puddle on the floor. If they did we had to report the child to the head teacher. This was cruel on so many levels. It made us terrified of using the toilet in case we got the cane for messing up the loo. As Richard said, it was complete institutional control - “We have power over you even when you’re in the bathroom. For those on duty, it was forced isolation. Even for an hour or so, it was intolerable at that young age. It encouraged bullying. I can remember being about 9 when when a Form 4 (Yr 6 nowadays) kid came in, I checked after him, and said, “No I didn’t block it up, so don’t cause trouble. That’s your hobby isn’t it, causing trouble.” This person didn’t even know me, had never spoken to me. Toilet duty also encourage kids to sneak on one another, which again is insidious. This was the 1970s and it was constantly drilled into us that we we’re getting a good education. It was only many years later, when I taught primary at state schools for 25 years, that I realised the gaps that existed in the curriculum as taught to me. On another note, I looked up Sad Little Men on Apple Books. Beard wrote another book called Lazarus Is Dead, which piqued my interest so I read the sample. It’s absolutely brilliant, totally engaging, so I’ll buy the book and finish it when I get some money next week.

[@chrislambert9435]

Mark, When you have a neurotypical child, you feel reasonably assured that class participation and decent study habits will result in good grades. These children have close friends. They get invited to participate in social things like dances and weekend gatherings. They make the teams, auditions, organisations, and clubs. But when you have a child with certain differences, this is often not the case. Learning may take longer, both academically and socially. Despite their tremendous efforts, results are often a fraction of their peers, and social acceptance is fleeting, setting them up for painful comparisons and bitter frustration. Instead of a fun and fulfilling experience, school can perhaps become a breeding ground for depression and anxiety and a battleground at home. It is exhausting for both parents and children. But, with the right support, these children can sometimes grow up to move mountains. These special humans are often the inventors, the entrepreneurs, and the people that push society along, move us forward with their ‘outside the box’ thinking. We desperately need their input, going forward more than ever. And our world would be far less beautiful without them. In the USA this is the week of SPED (Special Education), Autism, Dyslexia, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) awareness, AND FASD ( Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder). For all the children who struggle every day to succeed in a world that does not YET recognise their gifts and talents, and for those who are walking beside them, I salute you. And to those amongst us who don’t walk this road, please let this be a gentle reminder to be kind and accepting of ALL people. Including those that earned a place in Private Schools Recognise that the "playing field" is not at all a level surface. As these Marxist-Socialists would have you believe Children who learn differently are not weird. They are merely gifted in ways that our society does not yet value enough. Yet they want what everyone else wants: To be accepted!! It is ridiculous to suggest that Private Schools should be Banned because they "breed inequality" when there is actually no equality in the First place, the second place, third place and so on. These Marxist-Socialist in my view would seek to Ban Children from listening to Bed-Time Stories, fearing that they may become somewhat ahead of their fellows. If that did not accomplish "equality" of result then they would have to Ban humanity, because humanity just is not equal

[@alisonwilson9749]

@@chrislambert9435 borrring

[@chrislambert9435]

The Marxist-Labour Party is opposed to Parents providing Education for their own Children, and seek to penalise this with VAT. Some Crank Labour MPs have said "the whole problem" is that Private Schools are "the Engine" of inequality, I ask does these Labour Party Marxist-Cranks also oppose Parents purchasing Cloths for their children ? and also perhaps do they oppose Parents purchasing Food for their children ? Because surely the clothing & Food may be also a cause of so-called inequality. Government in the UK at the present time is using Tax payers Cash to pay for the Clothing & Food of around 10 Million UK Residents, why not do it with the remainder ? Equality in Education, or equality in “result in education” is simply not possibly because in the very first place the children themselves are all different, they all possess different Talents, abilities, enthusiasms and capacities. Will the Labour Party Marxist Cranks seek to ban children from listening to Bedtime stories, because its well known that children that listen to bedtime stories excel more than their fellows

[@NickAskew]

Sorry, I'm so taken by this video, brilliant. I like the discussion towards the end about the state of the NHS and the state education system. I have suggested so often to friends that politicians should be forced to send their children to state schools, they should be forced to use the NHS, they should be forced to use public transport wherever possible. You make these people live in the same society as the rest of us and suddenly it is in their interest to make society work for everyone.

[@NickAskew]

@Ore Gano I do not, as such, want to ban public schools, I want them to become irrelevant because state schools are given the resources to give every child a chance. A way to achieve that is to ensure that the people who lead society are forced to use the state facilities that they are responsible for funding. The idea that we should tell wealthy people how they should spend their money does not seem like a society most of us would want to be in, but perhaps that's my privileged background speaking. However, while I do not want to tell rich people they are not allowed to buy the house they want, the car they want, the healthcare they want, or even the education they want, I do want to make sure that those not from a privileged background can be sure that their healthcare is good and that their children will have the education opportunities they see given to the wealthy. The public school I attended is no longer a single sex boarding school, it is a mixed sex day school. This means that the kids can go home at the end of the day (given the location in North Wales I'm a little surprised there are the numbers to justify such a school) and this means that those kids won't be growing up separated from their family and that is an absolutely great first step. If we recognise that separation from family can and does do long term damage to children, then I think we can possibly start by arguing that boarding schools can do long term damage and for that reason should be banned.

[@anne-louisegoldie]

That would be an interesting experiment. Being a patient in the NHS for a few years, anonymously and without special status, could be a very useful experience for policy makers. 😊

[@robertgibson5540]

I was amused by Ash telling of her experience of being asked what school she went to, I am a working class Clydesider, being asked what school you went to was a wee bit of a subtle way of asking what your religion was! I did know exactly what was meant.

[@richjohn11]

I do believe that this subtle technique is now used to find out if you went to a Russel listed Uni, Red Brick Uni etc. Having listened to the interview I wonder will there ever be an outing of these abuses such as what happened to the Catholic church, or will it be swept under the carpet forever...if this is correct and the abuse is so apparent maybe some group could be formed and start legal proceedings against what was child abuse. Exposure and fines, maybe even prison for some

[@chrislambert9435]

This fails to mention the Thousands of children that found Private School absolutely Fantastic

[@chrislambert9435]

Robsie, When you have a neurotypical child, you feel reasonably assured that class participation and decent study habits will result in good grades. These children have close friends. They get invited to participate in social things like dances and weekend gatherings. They make the teams, auditions, organisations, and clubs. But when you have a child with certain differences, this is often not the case. Learning may take longer, both academically and socially. Despite their tremendous efforts, results are often a fraction of their peers, and social acceptance is fleeting, setting them up for painful comparisons and bitter frustration. Instead of a fun and fulfilling experience, school can perhaps become a breeding ground for depression and anxiety and a battleground at home. It is exhausting for both parents and children. But, with the right support, these children can sometimes grow up to move mountains. These special humans are often the inventors, the entrepreneurs, and the people that push society along, move us forward with their ‘outside the box’ thinking. We desperately need their input, going forward more than ever. And our world would be far less beautiful without them. In the USA this is the week of SPED (Special Education), Autism, Dyslexia, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) awareness, AND FASD ( Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder). For all the children who struggle every day to succeed in a world that does not YET recognise their gifts and talents, and for those who are walking beside them, I salute you. And to those amongst us who don’t walk this road, please let this be a gentle reminder to be kind and accepting of ALL people. Including those that earned a place in Private Schools Recognise that the "playing field" is not at all a level surface. As these Marxist-Socialists would have you believe Children who learn differently are not weird. They are merely gifted in ways that our society does not yet value enough. Yet they want what everyone else wants: To be accepted!! It is ridiculous to suggest that Private Schools should be Banned because they "breed inequality" when there is actually no equality in the First place, the second place, third place and so on. These Marxist-Socialist in my view would seek to Ban Children from listening to Bed-Time Stories, fearing that they may become somewhat ahead of their fellows. If that did not accomplish "equality" of result then they would have to Ban humanity, because humanity just is not equal

[@robertunwin1148]

Great interview! I was from a lower middle class background (though both my parents were themselves basically working class who'd managed to 'get on' under the post-war consensus) and sent to a private boys day school for secondary in Edinburgh which completely fucked me up. Bullying is a part of every school but (and really speaking more of psychological kind though the physical kind was also present) the place I went to was off the charts - and that includes that done by the teachers themselves! And I know for a fact that I wasn't the only one seriously affected by that place. They produce far more 'dropouts', 'burnouts', addicts or simply chronically emotionally broken men than you would ever expect. It was only eventually going on to a state local education college that showed me what a reasonably normal learning environment was actually like.

[@pussygalore731]

Why didn't you name the school

[@chrislambert9435]

Rob, When you have a neurotypical child, you feel reasonably assured that class participation and decent study habits will result in good grades. These children have close friends. They get invited to participate in social things like dances and weekend gatherings. They make the teams, auditions, organisations, and clubs. But when you have a child with certain differences, this is often not the case. Learning may take longer, both academically and socially. Despite their tremendous efforts, results are often a fraction of their peers, and social acceptance is fleeting, setting them up for painful comparisons and bitter frustration. Instead of a fun and fulfilling experience, school can perhaps become a breeding ground for depression and anxiety and a battleground at home. It is exhausting for both parents and children. But, with the right support, these children can sometimes grow up to move mountains. These special humans are often the inventors, the entrepreneurs, and the people that push society along, move us forward with their ‘outside the box’ thinking. We desperately need their input, going forward more than ever. And our world would be far less beautiful without them. In the USA this is the week of SPED (Special Education), Autism, Dyslexia, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) awareness, AND FASD ( Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder). For all the children who struggle every day to succeed in a world that does not YET recognise their gifts and talents, and for those who are walking beside them, I salute you. And to those amongst us who don’t walk this road, please let this be a gentle reminder to be kind and accepting of ALL people. Including those that earned a place in Private Schools Recognise that the "playing field" is not at all a level surface. As these Marxist-Socialists would have you believe Children who learn differently are not weird. They are merely gifted in ways that our society does not yet value enough. Yet they want what everyone else wants: To be accepted!! It is ridiculous to suggest that Private Schools should be Banned because they "breed inequality" when there is actually no equality in the First place, the second place, third place and so on. These Marxist-Socialist in my view would seek to Ban Children from listening to Bed-Time Stories, fearing that they may become somewhat ahead of their fellows. If that did not accomplish "equality" of result then they would have to Ban humanity, because humanity just is not equal

[@robertunwin1148]

@@chrislambert9435 Erm, are you implying I and others in this comment sections are autistic or have another form of learning disability and that's why we were bullied?

[@displacednaija]

My own experience was Nigeria although from age 12. I recognise the lump in throat as my parents drove away. When I went for marriage counselling it was then I realised that I had repressed traumas traceable to early institutionalisation.

[@AnyaB18]

Thank you for raising awareness of this crucially important topic. God bless Richard Beard for speaking up! 🙏🏼

[@chrislambert9435]

This fails to mention the Thousands of children that found Private School absolutely Fantastic It also fails to mention Failing State Schools that have received double the amount of cash that the Private Schools got

[@AnyaB18]

@@chrislambert9435 Two things can be true at the same time… (and state schools weren’t the topic of discussion) 🫠 I urge you to read the other comments on this thread to hear first hand accounts of ex borders.

[@chrislambert9435]

@@AnyaB18 This guy is so hell-bent on equality-of-education for every child, not only would He seek to ban Private Schools (see minute 1:14:41) He would have to also ban children from listening to their Parents reading to them bed-time stories, or else the more zealous Parents may give their children a better education than other children

[@peterblair6489]

It's not just boarding schools. All private schools teach class. They always make out that they're better, but they're cruel, vicious places.

[@LeahDyson-kq4bd]

All in all you're just another brick in the wall

[@AlexA-ty9jo]

Thank you for bringing this topic into the spotlight!

[@rmilang2370]

Never knew I was this hungry for this topic! 🤩 Another brilliant and honest discussion! Love it!

[@jamesbarker5326]

I exhibit many behavioral symptoms of being deeply traumatized, 10, 12 15 characteristics that show how disintegrated I became. How I hung on to my sanity is pretty much down to my rebellious nature

[@daviddevoy2197]

Ash, I went to a stare school in Scotland and have a PhD in physics from one of the newer universities but I suddenly recognised something in myself when you said you felt like something had been stolen from you, I suddenly had a cause for the rage I feel. I feel these people gave stolen eomething from me.

[@gillps5130]

Can you not see that these people manufacture your own outrage to create a problem for you? Have a mind of your own. It is the same sort of thing as the trans identity bandwagon. Left to themselves children would grow through their feelings or not have them in the first place.

[@daviddevoy2197]

@@gillps5130 My rage is founded in the fact that if a chancer like Johnston had been born on the council estate I grew up on he would now be working in the narcotic substance redistribution industry rather than being PM.

[@chrislambert9435]

David, When you have a neurotypical child, you feel reasonably assured that class participation and decent study habits will result in good grades. These children have close friends. They get invited to participate in social things like dances and weekend gatherings. They make the teams, auditions, organisations, and clubs. But when you have a child with certain differences, this is often not the case. Learning may take longer, both academically and socially. Despite their tremendous efforts, results are often a fraction of their peers, and social acceptance is fleeting, setting them up for painful comparisons and bitter frustration. Instead of a fun and fulfilling experience, school can perhaps become a breeding ground for depression and anxiety and a battleground at home. It is exhausting for both parents and children. But, with the right support, these children can sometimes grow up to move mountains. These special humans are often the inventors, the entrepreneurs, and the people that push society along, move us forward with their ‘outside the box’ thinking. We desperately need their input, going forward more than ever. And our world would be far less beautiful without them. In the USA this is the week of SPED (Special Education), Autism, Dyslexia, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) awareness, AND FASD ( Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder). For all the children who struggle every day to succeed in a world that does not YET recognise their gifts and talents, and for those who are walking beside them, I salute you. And to those amongst us who don’t walk this road, please let this be a gentle reminder to be kind and accepting of ALL people. Including those that earned a place in Private Schools Recognise that the "playing field" is not at all a level surface. As these Marxist-Socialists would have you believe Children who learn differently are not weird. They are merely gifted in ways that our society does not yet value enough. Yet they want what everyone else wants: To be accepted!! It is ridiculous to suggest that Private Schools should be Banned because they "breed inequality" when there is actually no equality in the First place, the second place, third place and so on. These Marxist-Socialist in my view would seek to Ban Children from listening to Bed-Time Stories, fearing that they may become somewhat ahead of their fellows. If that did not accomplish "equality" of result then they would have to Ban humanity, because humanity just is not equal

[@daviddevoy5966]

@@chrislambert9435 I understand only too well that inequality exists whether there are private schools or not. I have a huge advantage over my friend because he had a single parent. To me private education simply provides a lens to focus the inequality that exists already. It is probably unrealistic to think you can take this lens away through legislation. People are always going to want to give their children the best advantage they can and as people are massively unequal to start with its inevitable that advantage will be passed on. All we can do is try to mitigate this by having the best state education we possibly can. But none of this stops me from feeling resentful, which is not helpful.

[@shadowofmyfutureself]

You're doing great stuff on Novara Media. Great conversation - good that it's happening now, even 50 years late, it has to end with the provision of high quality universal education and the end of private education

[@undesignated3491]

Not going to happen commi

[@PotterSpurn1]

I went to a State Comprehensive which was a good one. In my job a few years ago, I visited a very expensive (£15K per term) private school in Canterbury. I went into the girls Dorms and was quite shocked at how run down they were. Double bunk beds, scruffy paint, dirty carpets. The external buildings were beautiful though and the grounds lovely. Another thing that struck me was how busy the pupils were expected to be. They are literally run off the ground from morning until night with weekday school and Saturday mornings - exra-curricular activities like music and arts, other clubs and societies, community charity work, sports activities and prep. No one was allowed to slack. They were exhausted. To me it seemed like a very tough but privileged experience.

[@chrislambert9435]

B G, When you have a neurotypical child, you feel reasonably assured that class participation and decent study habits will result in good grades. These children have close friends. They get invited to participate in social things like dances and weekend gatherings. They make the teams, auditions, organisations, and clubs. But when you have a child with certain differences, this is often not the case. Learning may take longer, both academically and socially. Despite their tremendous efforts, results are often a fraction of their peers, and social acceptance is fleeting, setting them up for painful comparisons and bitter frustration. Instead of a fun and fulfilling experience, school can perhaps become a breeding ground for depression and anxiety and a battleground at home. It is exhausting for both parents and children. But, with the right support, these children can sometimes grow up to move mountains. These special humans are often the inventors, the entrepreneurs, and the people that push society along, move us forward with their ‘outside the box’ thinking. We desperately need their input, going forward more than ever. And our world would be far less beautiful without them. In the USA this is the week of SPED (Special Education), Autism, Dyslexia, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) awareness, AND FASD ( Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder). For all the children who struggle every day to succeed in a world that does not YET recognise their gifts and talents, and for those who are walking beside them, I salute you. And to those amongst us who don’t walk this road, please let this be a gentle reminder to be kind and accepting of ALL people. Including those that earned a place in Private Schools Recognise that the "playing field" is not at all a level surface. As these Marxist-Socialists would have you believe Children who learn differently are not weird. They are merely gifted in ways that our society does not yet value enough. Yet they want what everyone else wants: To be accepted!! It is ridiculous to suggest that Private Schools should be Banned because they "breed inequality" when there is actually no equality in the First place, the second place, third place and so on. These Marxist-Socialist in my view would seek to Ban Children from listening to Bed-Time Stories, fearing that they may become somewhat ahead of their fellows. If that did not accomplish "equality" of result then they would have to Ban humanity, because humanity just is not equal

[@superderby91]

This interview really took me by surprise, insofar as it raised a unresolved trauma. (still, it's a brilliant piece of journalism, Ash!). I went to 'regular' private school and didn't board. However, my mum was obsessed with sending me there to board and kept bringing it up. Despite the fact that we only lived 15 minutes down the road. Despite being white and upper middle class, I never fit in there. There was a huge dissonance for me, which came to a head when I was interviewed for Sixth Form (yep, we had interviews for a place in the institutions our parents had paid thousands for prior). They insisted that we fill out an application form, detailing our greatest achievements at school to date. I refused to fill it in, feeling that it was unnecessary, only for the Head of Sixth form to conclude that I'd offered and achieved nothing. She suggested whether I had entertained the notion of going to another school for Sixth Form (I had already decided to by this point), and then said - which still shocks me to this day - "You can get an education from any old school... but here you can be something more." I concluded the interview by informing her that I would be pursuing an education at 'any old school', and left that school year. For what it's worth, I improved my grades in the state school I attended. Largely because I was a lot happier. Anyway, this was my TED talk. Thanks again Ash & Novara for creating content like this. It's really, really essential to public discourse.

[@richardvitty1745]

Sadly, the people who need to see this interview would never watch it.

[@JurgenKranz]

Thanks for sharing this. So sorry you were put through it

[@vickiclee9332]

Also, I've worked with teachers who came from private school. They're not necessarily better at their craft, but they are (were) better resourced in Private schools and have (had) smaller classes usually and this all helps them attain better outcomes. Some really struggled with the transition to state education

[@chrislambert9435]

What Socialist bollocks.This fails to mention the Thousands of children that found Private School absolutely Fantastic It also fails to mention Failing State Schools that have received double the amount of cash that the Private Schools got

[@lambd01d]

I was sent to a boarding school at the age of 11 and it's had such an effect on me that I now have complex PTSD. I have problems forming relationships. I don't trust people, have a lot of paranoid thoughts which started at school and I also have other mental health problems ie bipolar disorder, which the CPTSD makes worse.

[@chrislambert9435]

This Guy Richard is against Diversity, its hate speech

[@chrislambert9435]

@Cassimba This Guy Richard is against diversity Richard is spreading hate speech

[@richardfox9495]

​@@chrislambert9435 You can't handle it because he's speaking the truth.!!!

[@maebandy]

Look into ketamine and mdma therapies and reaching out to other cptsd sufferers. We're a cagey but exceedingly compassionate and insightful bunch of nutters.

[@lambd01d]

@@maebandy MDMA and bipolar disorder do not mix, but that's another story and another trauma.

[@alastairjamesmainland2497]

Brilliant interview Ash, thoroughly fascinating and great insight.

[@nagaraworkshop]

Superb interview and a massively accurate portrayal by Richard Beard.

[@alantheinquirer7658]

From a working class, poor family, at age 10, I was offered the opportunity by the local Educational Authority to go to a choice of boarding schools, paid for by a grant. I'd read Jennings, Mallory Towers etc. and, out of the four we visited, only one was that old fashioned. In the end I chose to go to a progressive, co-ed private boarding school. Yes, at first there was home sickness and upset ... but in the end I enjoyed my time. Leaving with moderate grades, I had fond memories. There's a problem with confusing private boarding schools in general and the old-fashioned, single sex, private schools and especially the public school system. In effect, the latter are hot houses for future politicians, business leaders and the wealthy elite.

[@elmondo-s1e]

I know someone of a similar background who went to a regular state school back in the 60s/70s but because of the remote area it was typical for some children from the rural parts of the island to board. This person was severely bullied and suffered a great deal of homesickness and abuse. It greatly affected him, he has spend the majority of his life very depressed. I think the way the school deals with that kind of abuse matters. Boarding in general is not good for the development of the majority of children. I think it also matters that you were given the choice - most of these children have no option and no control which greatly affects their experience. but it’s good to know it’s not all bad and I’m glad to hear you had good experience :)

[@vickiclee9332]

Great interview! Wouldn't mind having Richard on again to discuss the teaching/teachers side of things. Being in the Comprehensive system myself and having worked with those who have moved from the private sector, I'd be interested in Richards thoughts (as he can also contrast with his kids' experiences). I also want to ask for Ash to do a downstream with her mum. Think that would be an absolutely EXCELLENT hour's worth of listening!

[@chrislambert9435]

Vicky, When you have a neurotypical child, you feel reasonably assured that class participation and decent study habits will result in good grades. These children have close friends. They get invited to participate in social things like dances and weekend gatherings. They make the teams, auditions, organisations, and clubs. But when you have a child with certain differences, this is often not the case. Learning may take longer, both academically and socially. Despite their tremendous efforts, results are often a fraction of their peers, and social acceptance is fleeting, setting them up for painful comparisons and bitter frustration. Instead of a fun and fulfilling experience, school can perhaps become a breeding ground for depression and anxiety and a battleground at home. It is exhausting for both parents and children. But, with the right support, these children can sometimes grow up to move mountains. These special humans are often the inventors, the entrepreneurs, and the people that push society along, move us forward with their ‘outside the box’ thinking. We desperately need their input, going forward more than ever. And our world would be far less beautiful without them. In the USA this is the week of SPED (Special Education), Autism, Dyslexia, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) awareness, AND FASD ( Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder). For all the children who struggle every day to succeed in a world that does not YET recognise their gifts and talents, and for those who are walking beside them, I salute you. And to those amongst us who don’t walk this road, please let this be a gentle reminder to be kind and accepting of ALL people. Including those that earned a place in Private Schools Recognise that the "playing field" is not at all a level surface. As these Marxist-Socialists would have you believe Children who learn differently are not weird. They are merely gifted in ways that our society does not yet value enough. Yet they want what everyone else wants: To be accepted!! It is ridiculous to suggest that Private Schools should be Banned because they "breed inequality" when there is actually no equality in the First place, the second place, third place and so on. These Marxist-Socialist in my view would seek to Ban Children from listening to Bed-Time Stories, fearing that they may become somewhat ahead of their fellows. If that did not accomplish "equality" of result then they would have to Ban humanity, because humanity just is not equal

[@janearmstrong7945]

I remember watching my step Grandad cutting up an orange in an odd way and thinking, what the hell? He did it just as Richard described, he went to Ruby school in the late 30s. He obviously tried to escape by marrying my very working class nan. By the time I knew him in the 80s, he had a Manchester accent and didn't really seem that posh, but the orange cutting remained.

[@chrislambert9435]

What Socialist bollocks.This fails to mention the Thousands of children that found Private School absolutely Fantastic It also fails to mention Failing State Schools that have received double the amount of cash that the Private Schools got

[@chrislambert9435]

Jane, When you have a neurotypical child, you feel reasonably assured that class participation and decent study habits will result in good grades. These children have close friends. They get invited to participate in social things like dances and weekend gatherings. They make the teams, auditions, organisations, and clubs. But when you have a child with certain differences, this is often not the case. Learning may take longer, both academically and socially. Despite their tremendous efforts, results are often a fraction of their peers, and social acceptance is fleeting, setting them up for painful comparisons and bitter frustration. Instead of a fun and fulfilling experience, school can perhaps become a breeding ground for depression and anxiety and a battleground at home. It is exhausting for both parents and children. But, with the right support, these children can sometimes grow up to move mountains. These special humans are often the inventors, the entrepreneurs, and the people that push society along, move us forward with their ‘outside the box’ thinking. We desperately need their input, going forward more than ever. And our world would be far less beautiful without them. In the USA this is the week of SPED (Special Education), Autism, Dyslexia, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) awareness, AND FASD ( Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder). For all the children who struggle every day to succeed in a world that does not YET recognise their gifts and talents, and for those who are walking beside them, I salute you. And to those amongst us who don’t walk this road, please let this be a gentle reminder to be kind and accepting of ALL people. Including those that earned a place in Private Schools Recognise that the "playing field" is not at all a level surface. As these Marxist-Socialists would have you believe Children who learn differently are not weird. They are merely gifted in ways that our society does not yet value enough. Yet they want what everyone else wants: To be accepted!! It is ridiculous to suggest that Private Schools should be Banned because they "breed inequality" when there is actually no equality in the First place, the second place, third place and so on. These Marxist-Socialist in my view would seek to Ban Children from listening to Bed-Time Stories, fearing that they may become somewhat ahead of their fellows. If that did not accomplish "equality" of result then they would have to Ban humanity, because humanity just is not equal

[@sarahmurphy-nf4yl]

Excellent interview. I was sent to boarding school (that spoke a different language to me) at age 10 yrs. I was bullied by couple of girls there.. bcos my parents sent me with large tuc box (metal box full of goodies to last me a month), where as ine if there mithers didnt visit for months on end. When my parents brought me day 1...as they drive off the ling winding driveway waving at me from the car... the tears welled uo in my eyes and I was left feeling 'what have I done wrong'... i felt totally ABANDONED. We were allowed home for the afternoon, ONE SUNDAY a MONTH... my 1st Sunday home after a month... I broke down in tears in my mothers arms bawling my eyes crying😢..telling my mom about the bullying etc. My mom THANKFULLY told my father to go collect my suitcase and I NEVER went back there. I am so grateful bcos my older sister and brother went for years. My sister wanted to, but my brother didn't, and I believe he is damaged for life from it. None of his romantic relationships ever worked out, and he always ended up with the WOMEN taking total ADVANTAGE of him. I believe he has abandonment issues. Both my sister and brother lack empathy for sure.. 💯%

[@diogenes1815]

Tom Browns school day back in the seventies opened my mind to the horrors of public schools. My experience in the work environment is that ex public school boys recognise and support each other because they believe in the fable of their own superiority, they are a guild, conditioned to believe in themselves whilst lacking empathy , pretty much the definition of sociopathy.

[@Neil070]

'If' was a great movie. I think it led to some limited change in public schools

[@chrislambert9435]

You should be given a reward for "Sweeping Generalisations"

[@pussygalore731]

​@@chrislambert9435 Chris here you are again you absolute stalker

[@chrislambert9435]

So what is it, that Socialist-Cranks believe should be practiced ? Do you-all suggest and seek to implement that 1/ Education /knowledge should be equally distributed into the Pupils/listeners 2/Education/knowledge should be equally received-understood-comprehended and apprehended 3/ As a result of Numbers 1 & 2 all the persons that were Educated should finish in Equality of grade-result ? Please consider this ! If you as a Socialist-Crank considers that any of the above three-points must be achieved, then I suggest that you-all are a danger to learning-children, you are most likely a Revolutionary-Marxist that seeks to overthrow Government and implement this type of ideological program by force, such as banning Private Schools, or banning Parents from reading to their children bed-time stories, or banning Private tuition paid for by Caring & Loving Parents

[@tseringdorji9147]

This system starts before Public school age Parents choose to be at a distance from their children at a very young age usually with a nanny The distance stops healthy emotional bonds between parents and children . Even when the nanny is doing a great job all the children really want is to be near their parents .It’s so unnatural. It’s by design

[@silverlinings3946]

Such a good point!

[@pussygalore731]

Actually a lot of nannies are fired because the child starts to call them mummy and want to be with them when the child is ill

[@maebandy]

Is it by design or by adult selfishness?

[@neilmcdougall4927]

@@maebandy Seems like all the fun that was had was in making the baby in the first place. Separation anxiety out the womb, what a GiFt.

[@chrislambert9435]

So what is it, that Socialist-Cranks believe should be practiced ? Do you-all suggest and seek to implement that 1/ Education /knowledge should be equally distributed into the Pupils/listeners 2/Education/knowledge should be equally received-understood-comprehended and apprehended 3/ As a result of Numbers 1 & 2 all the persons that were Educated should finish in Equality of grade-result ? Please consider this ! If you as a Socialist-Crank considers that any of the above three-points must be achieved, then I suggest that you-all are a danger to learning-children, you are most likely a Revolutionary-Marxist that seeks to overthrow Government and implement this type of ideological program by force, such as banning Private Schools, or banning Parents from reading to their children bed-time stories, or banning Private tuition paid for by Caring & Loving Parents

[@corinnapetry65]

I love the interviewer as much, if not more than, the author. She seems so honest, which is appealing.

[@peterloup2302]

Most private schools allow parents to take their children home every weekend - weekly boarders with lower fees. All of life is competitive and it starts with primary school, through secondary school and then uni and on into your working life !! I lost my mother when I was 4 and my father was posted to Washington, so boarding school was the only option and I was surrounded by chums in the same boat. I grew up very quickly and learnt to stand up to any odd fellows. Public school was at a greater distance from my home and I actually stayed there even at half term to enjoy the full range of facilities - fishing/supervised shooting/golf.

[@mitsterful]

This was a very interesting conversation. The main thing missing though was a long discussion about state schools, how they're funded, how they can be made better etc. The biggest problem in the UK isn't so much the existence of four extremely powerful boarding schools (whose products have clearly ruined the country), but the demand for private schools. Furthermore, when we talk about social mobility, we always talk about the working class kid who ends up at Oxbridge. Instead, I think we should be talking about the private school kids who end up in professions traditionally dominated by the working class, like bus drivers, builders, social workers, nurses etc. When this kind of social mobility increases then it's clearly a sign that private schools are not as dominant in producing people who simply go straight to the top.

[@chrislambert9435]

This fails to mention the Thousands of children that found Private School absolutely Fantastic It also fails to mention Failing State Schools that have received double the amount of cash that the Private Schools got

[@peterblair6489]

Damn right they are. Yarra Valley, church of England private school destroyed my life. Bullying nearly killed me. It killed another kid I was there with at the time It's in Melbourne Australia. NEVER send your kids there.

[@chrislambert9435]

This fails to mention the Thousands of children that found Private School absolutely Fantastic It also fails to mention Failing State Schools that have received double the amount of cash that the Private Schools got

[@peterblair6489]

@@chrislambert9435 Yeah, thousands of over entitled brats, trained to hate their future employees. As for funding, why should the rich be subsides, and who says public schools are failing? Private schools just prop up the aristocracy, at everyone else's expense.

[@chrislambert9435]

@@peterblair6489 This guy is so hell-bent on equality-of-education for every child, not only would He seek to ban Private Schools (see minute 1:14:41) He would have to also ban children from listening to their Parents reading to them bed-time stories, or else the more zealous Parents may give their children a better education than other children

[@peterblair6489]

@@chrislambert9435 Extremists always take everything to extremes.

[@dinaf_tommyf]

Another great interview! Interesting, and I learned new things about the British private school system.

[@chrislambert9435]

So what is it, that Socialist-Cranks believe should be practiced ? Do you-all suggest and seek to implement that 1/ Education /knowledge should be equally distributed into the Pupils/listeners 2/Education/knowledge should be equally received-understood-comprehended and apprehended 3/ As a result of Numbers 1 & 2 all the persons that were Educated should finish in Equality of grade-result ? Please consider this ! If you as a Socialist-Crank considers that any of the above three-points must be achieved, then I suggest that you-all are a danger to learning-children, you are most likely a Revolutionary-Marxist that seeks to overthrow Government and implement this type of ideological program by force, such as banning Private Schools, or banning Parents from reading to their children bed-time stories, or banning Private tuition paid for by Caring & Loving Parents

[@asankagurusinghe6128]

My friend went to private school. His siblings and parents went to boarding school. He feels the odd one out emotionally and now the black sheep, partly due to his own misbehaviour. They're emotionally cut off, he feels. He is too needy perhaps, they feel.

[@MrSuperWat]

terror and trauma-bonding, the top tier education experience

[@maebandy]

United by engagement in blackmail level offences.

[@pippijane20]

I was quite amused by the peeling oranges thing and the whole way he explained such a relatable childhood. until he said "we learned how to behave. We learned how to peel oranges" at which point I burst into tears. .realising the damage.

[@chrislambert9435]

Just, When you have a neurotypical child, you feel reasonably assured that class participation and decent study habits will result in good grades. These children have close friends. They get invited to participate in social things like dances and weekend gatherings. They make the teams, auditions, organisations, and clubs. But when you have a child with certain differences, this is often not the case. Learning may take longer, both academically and socially. Despite their tremendous efforts, results are often a fraction of their peers, and social acceptance is fleeting, setting them up for painful comparisons and bitter frustration. Instead of a fun and fulfilling experience, school can perhaps become a breeding ground for depression and anxiety and a battleground at home. It is exhausting for both parents and children. But, with the right support, these children can sometimes grow up to move mountains. These special humans are often the inventors, the entrepreneurs, and the people that push society along, move us forward with their ‘outside the box’ thinking. We desperately need their input, going forward more than ever. And our world would be far less beautiful without them. In the USA this is the week of SPED (Special Education), Autism, Dyslexia, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) awareness, AND FASD ( Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder). For all the children who struggle every day to succeed in a world that does not YET recognise their gifts and talents, and for those who are walking beside them, I salute you. And to those amongst us who don’t walk this road, please let this be a gentle reminder to be kind and accepting of ALL people. Including those that earned a place in Private Schools Recognise that the "playing field" is not at all a level surface. As these Marxist-Socialists would have you believe Children who learn differently are not weird. They are merely gifted in ways that our society does not yet value enough. Yet they want what everyone else wants: To be accepted!! It is ridiculous to suggest that Private Schools should be Banned because they "breed inequality" when there is actually no equality in the First place, the second place, third place and so on. These Marxist-Socialist in my view would seek to Ban Children from listening to Bed-Time Stories, fearing that they may become somewhat ahead of their fellows. If that did not accomplish "equality" of result then they would have to Ban humanity, because humanity just is not equal

[@p.1019]

This is the most interesting programme Novara has ever had - period.

[@KaiusKing]

This is very interesting to hear, especially when I always envied private school kids.

[@grahampascoe5769]

You really shouldn't envy them. I'm 46, I went to boarding school (military funded) in the 80s/90s from the age of 8. I remember vividly, the moment my mum walked away when I was left holding the hand of a stranger (headmaster). It is only now I have done something about the trauma I experienced, I wasn't abused either sexually or physically but I can assure they are not loving, privileged, healthy environments. The most essential thing is missing and that is unconditional love.

[@chrislambert9435]

This fails to mention the Thousands of children that found Private School absolutely Fantastic It also fails to mention Failing State Schools that have received double the amount of cash that the Private Schools got

[@Rboy23]

@@chrislambert9435agreed. I had a great time.

[@nobody00052]

i envied ppl going to public school… i was adopted into an rich yt family and barely fit

[@GaryParris]

👍Excellent, having been to university with some of these private educated school/boarding school people. and knowing others who have, this just confirmed everything i have known for 25+yrs and have seen in politics, wealth & power.

[@tracesmith2658]

I worked at a private school where some of the kids thought I was teaching them more than in a state school because they were paying. It was common to hear kids being told of by telling them they were behaving like state school kids!!! I didn't stay long.. maybe SLT read Animal Farm and worked out why I taught it!

[@serinadelmar6012]

Private schools do teach more because they have the finance and resources to do so.

[@chrislambert9435]

Trace, When you have a neurotypical child, you feel reasonably assured that class participation and decent study habits will result in good grades. These children have close friends. They get invited to participate in social things like dances and weekend gatherings. They make the teams, auditions, organisations, and clubs. But when you have a child with certain differences, this is often not the case. Learning may take longer, both academically and socially. Despite their tremendous efforts, results are often a fraction of their peers, and social acceptance is fleeting, setting them up for painful comparisons and bitter frustration. Instead of a fun and fulfilling experience, school can perhaps become a breeding ground for depression and anxiety and a battleground at home. It is exhausting for both parents and children. But, with the right support, these children can sometimes grow up to move mountains. These special humans are often the inventors, the entrepreneurs, and the people that push society along, move us forward with their ‘outside the box’ thinking. We desperately need their input, going forward more than ever. And our world would be far less beautiful without them. In the USA this is the week of SPED (Special Education), Autism, Dyslexia, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) awareness, AND FASD ( Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder). For all the children who struggle every day to succeed in a world that does not YET recognise their gifts and talents, and for those who are walking beside them, I salute you. And to those amongst us who don’t walk this road, please let this be a gentle reminder to be kind and accepting of ALL people. Including those that earned a place in Private Schools Recognise that the "playing field" is not at all a level surface. As these Marxist-Socialists would have you believe Children who learn differently are not weird. They are merely gifted in ways that our society does not yet value enough. Yet they want what everyone else wants: To be accepted!! It is ridiculous to suggest that Private Schools should be Banned because they "breed inequality" when there is actually no equality in the First place, the second place, third place and so on. These Marxist-Socialist in my view would seek to Ban Children from listening to Bed-Time Stories, fearing that they may become somewhat ahead of their fellows. If that did not accomplish "equality" of result then they would have to Ban humanity, because humanity just is not equal

[@jamesbarker5326]

I am pm the verge of having my first child .I am 66. I am now,at last, after a life of sadness disaster and off the dial madness , relatively sane. Therapy, psychodrama,five rhythms,meditation, screaming, more psychotherapy, hypnotism, Samaritans, gong baths soul retreval . Now I own my reality

[@lynzannabel6990]

@james barker Well done James. 👍🏾💜

[@chrislambert9435]

Jamie, When you have a neurotypical child, you feel reasonably assured that class participation and decent study habits will result in good grades. These children have close friends. They get invited to participate in social things like dances and weekend gatherings. They make the teams, auditions, organisations, and clubs. But when you have a child with certain differences, this is often not the case. Learning may take longer, both academically and socially. Despite their tremendous efforts, results are often a fraction of their peers, and social acceptance is fleeting, setting them up for painful comparisons and bitter frustration. Instead of a fun and fulfilling experience, school can perhaps become a breeding ground for depression and anxiety and a battleground at home. It is exhausting for both parents and children. But, with the right support, these children can sometimes grow up to move mountains. These special humans are often the inventors, the entrepreneurs, and the people that push society along, move us forward with their ‘outside the box’ thinking. We desperately need their input, going forward more than ever. And our world would be far less beautiful without them. In the USA this is the week of SPED (Special Education), Autism, Dyslexia, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) awareness, AND FASD ( Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder). For all the children who struggle every day to succeed in a world that does not YET recognise their gifts and talents, and for those who are walking beside them, I salute you. And to those amongst us who don’t walk this road, please let this be a gentle reminder to be kind and accepting of ALL people. Including those that earned a place in Private Schools Recognise that the "playing field" is not at all a level surface. As these Marxist-Socialists would have you believe Children who learn differently are not weird. They are merely gifted in ways that our society does not yet value enough. Yet they want what everyone else wants: To be accepted!! It is ridiculous to suggest that Private Schools should be Banned because they "breed inequality" when there is actually no equality in the First place, the second place, third place and so on. These Marxist-Socialist in my view would seek to Ban Children from listening to Bed-Time Stories, fearing that they may become somewhat ahead of their fellows. If that did not accomplish "equality" of result then they would have to Ban humanity, because humanity just is not equal

[@patthepundit7595]

Well done to both of you. Very important discussion and needed to be had especially in the UK. I do believe that private schools should not exist.

[@helenswan705]

Yes. Get rid.

[@serinadelmar6012]

The public education system is not sufficient. Private schools are tax-free businesses. Both of those things need to change without abolishing, which would be profoundly unrealistic, the latter.

[@doctorwhofanxD]

You're forgetting that parents send their kids to boarding school so that they make ever-lasting super strong friendships and network with other kids who will go on to have top jobs in life and open doors for their kids in life. A big part of getting really good jobs or internships or having opportunities is knowing the right people. For example Old Harrovians who run very successful businesses go back to Harrow and offer placements and internships to current pupils there. In the absence of parents, your friends become like your family in some circumstances

[@rebekahbeaven627]

Thank you, this is very refreshing to listen to. As a psychotherapist I questioned whether working in boarding school was helping children collude with self betrayal. I asked for advice from Joy Shaverian, the author of boarding school syndrome, and she advised that it is better that we are there than not. I think that may be why the teachers do it too. I get to sit in meetings and be the authentic voice of the child. It is a complex line to tread, bringing honesty and integrity in a palatable way to systems which are so deeply intrenched. Humanities understanding of psychological functioning is growing at an extraordinary rate, neuroscience is currently the fastest advancing science. I believe in two decades time, sending children to boarding school will become obsolete due to a wider understanding and acknowledgment of attachment trauma. In the meantime helping and reducing shame around lack of understanding seems the best and only option.

[@elisabethcoughlin8042]

Very interested in the orange peeling description. I didn't realise that I have peeled my oranges the 'proper' way all my adult life. I learnt it from my father who was an engineer with Swedish telecom. We lived in a 1-bedroom council flat on an estate in a suburb of Stockholm.

[@vickiclee9332]

Yeah the orange thing was funny to me too but mostly as that's how I peel oranges (depending on how 'loose' the peel is) but I use my finger nail instead of a knife so I'm clearly a pleb :D

[@stevo988]

This was the most refreshing and informative pod cast I've listened to in a long while. An utter joy

[@chrislambert9435]

Stevo, When you have a neurotypical child, you feel reasonably assured that class participation and decent study habits will result in good grades. These children have close friends. They get invited to participate in social things like dances and weekend gatherings. They make the teams, auditions, organisations, and clubs. But when you have a child with certain differences, this is often not the case. Learning may take longer, both academically and socially. Despite their tremendous efforts, results are often a fraction of their peers, and social acceptance is fleeting, setting them up for painful comparisons and bitter frustration. Instead of a fun and fulfilling experience, school can perhaps become a breeding ground for depression and anxiety and a battleground at home. It is exhausting for both parents and children. But, with the right support, these children can sometimes grow up to move mountains. These special humans are often the inventors, the entrepreneurs, and the people that push society along, move us forward with their ‘outside the box’ thinking. We desperately need their input, going forward more than ever. And our world would be far less beautiful without them. In the USA this is the week of SPED (Special Education), Autism, Dyslexia, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) awareness, AND FASD ( Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder). For all the children who struggle every day to succeed in a world that does not YET recognise their gifts and talents, and for those who are walking beside them, I salute you. And to those amongst us who don’t walk this road, please let this be a gentle reminder to be kind and accepting of ALL people. Including those that earned a place in Private Schools Recognise that the "playing field" is not at all a level surface. As these Marxist-Socialists would have you believe Children who learn differently are not weird. They are merely gifted in ways that our society does not yet value enough. Yet they want what everyone else wants: To be accepted!! It is ridiculous to suggest that Private Schools should be Banned because they "breed inequality" when there is actually no equality in the First place, the second place, third place and so on. These Marxist-Socialist in my view would seek to Ban Children from listening to Bed-Time Stories, fearing that they may become somewhat ahead of their fellows. If that did not accomplish "equality" of result then they would have to Ban humanity, because humanity just is not equal

[@wideberth5941]

About time that this is being discussed. Time to end the social apartheid.

[@victoriafinney3043]

I went to boarding school under the " don't say gay" ( section 28) rules. I was outed as queer. I spent the next three years suicidal with absolutely no support for the staff, who made their disgust with me known.

[@silverlinings3946]

But - what of your parents? Did they make you suffer for three years?

[@victoriafinney3043]

@@silverlinings3946 My mother is abusive and was all too glad to get rid of me. She was also extremely homophobic so I couldn't tell her what was going on.

[@silverlinings3946]

@@victoriafinney3043 so in fact you were betrayed multiple times. So much injustice! Did you have no one to turn to?

[@victoriafinney3043]

@@silverlinings3946 literally nobody.

[@silverlinings3946]

@@victoriafinney3043 how do you cope? I'm sorry, I know I'm just a stranger on yt but your story is simply heartbreaking. I wish I could help.

[@KizetteandTotoro]

I was not aware of Mr Beard’s book about this very interesting subject. I think people are becoming more aware of the fact that children who live throuth trauma grow up to become either adults who don’t want others to experience the pain they went through or troubled individuals who will pass on the consequences of their lack of empathy, internal anger and frustration onto others. The main problem in society is the abuse of children, no matter their social class. Ensuring a healthy, happy childhood in which empathy for others is cultivated should be the number one priority of parents as individuals and governments in general. Imagine the future of a country where children grow up supported and understood by the adults who take care of them. (Incidentally, I was taught by my father to peel oranges, apples and various other fruit with a knife and fork on a plate. It is not useful. ) Very interersting interview. Thank you.

[@chrislambert9435]

The Marxist-Labour Party is opposed to Parents providing Education for their own Children, and seek to penalise this with VAT. Some Crank Labour MPs have said "the whole problem" is that Private Schools are "the Engine" of inequality, I ask does these Labour Party Marxist-Cranks also oppose Parents purchasing Cloths for their children ? and also perhaps do they oppose Parents purchasing Food for their children ? Because surely the clothing & Food may be also a cause of so-called inequality. Government in the UK at the present time is using Tax payers Cash to pay for the Clothing & Food of around 10 Million UK Residents, why not do it with the remainder ? Equality in Education, or equality in “result in education” is simply not possibly because in the very first place the children themselves are all different, they all possess different Talents, abilities, enthusiasms and capacities. Will the Labour Party Marxist Cranks seek to ban children from listening to Bedtime stories, because its well known that children that listen to bedtime stories excel more than their fellows

[@Tbell-ef8kh]

That was a excellent interview Ash, I found it very informative, thank you.

[@chrislambert9435]

Tbell, what tosh, When you have a neurotypical child, you feel reasonably assured that class participation and decent study habits will result in good grades. These children have close friends. They get invited to participate in social things like dances and weekend gatherings. They make the teams, auditions, organisations, and clubs. But when you have a child with certain differences, this is often not the case. Learning may take longer, both academically and socially. Despite their tremendous efforts, results are often a fraction of their peers, and social acceptance is fleeting, setting them up for painful comparisons and bitter frustration. Instead of a fun and fulfilling experience, school can perhaps become a breeding ground for depression and anxiety and a battleground at home. It is exhausting for both parents and children. But, with the right support, these children can sometimes grow up to move mountains. These special humans are often the inventors, the entrepreneurs, and the people that push society along, move us forward with their ‘outside the box’ thinking. We desperately need their input, going forward more than ever. And our world would be far less beautiful without them. In the USA this is the week of SPED (Special Education), Autism, Dyslexia, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) awareness, AND FASD ( Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder). For all the children who struggle every day to succeed in a world that does not YET recognise their gifts and talents, and for those who are walking beside them, I salute you. And to those amongst us who don’t walk this road, please let this be a gentle reminder to be kind and accepting of ALL people. Including those that earned a place in Private Schools Recognise that the "playing field" is not at all a level surface. As these Marxist-Socialists would have you believe Children who learn differently are not weird. They are merely gifted in ways that our society does not yet value enough. Yet they want what everyone else wants: To be accepted!! It is ridiculous to suggest that Private Schools should be Banned because they "breed inequality" when there is actually no equality in the First place, the second place, third place and so on. These Marxist-Socialist in my view would seek to Ban Children from listening to Bed-Time Stories, fearing that they may become somewhat ahead of their fellows. If that did not accomplish "equality" of result then they would have to Ban humanity, because humanity just is not equal

[@tracykatrinaobrien6998]

Amazingly insightful interview. Thank you both.

[@robertjsmith]

i never realised how awful it is,to go to a boarding school,the sexual abuse some have suffered is horrendous

[@MerlynMusicman]

"how awful it *could* be"...

[@chrislambert9435]

What Socialist bollocks.This fails to mention the Thousands of children that found Private School absolutely Fantastic It also fails to mention Failing State Schools that have received double the amount of cash that the Private Schools got

[@chrislambert9435]

Robby, When you have a neurotypical child, you feel reasonably assured that class participation and decent study habits will result in good grades. These children have close friends. They get invited to participate in social things like dances and weekend gatherings. They make the teams, auditions, organisations, and clubs. But when you have a child with certain differences, this is often not the case. Learning may take longer, both academically and socially. Despite their tremendous efforts, results are often a fraction of their peers, and social acceptance is fleeting, setting them up for painful comparisons and bitter frustration. Instead of a fun and fulfilling experience, school can perhaps become a breeding ground for depression and anxiety and a battleground at home. It is exhausting for both parents and children. But, with the right support, these children can sometimes grow up to move mountains. These special humans are often the inventors, the entrepreneurs, and the people that push society along, move us forward with their ‘outside the box’ thinking. We desperately need their input, going forward more than ever. And our world would be far less beautiful without them. In the USA this is the week of SPED (Special Education), Autism, Dyslexia, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) awareness, AND FASD ( Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder). For all the children who struggle every day to succeed in a world that does not YET recognise their gifts and talents, and for those who are walking beside them, I salute you. And to those amongst us who don’t walk this road, please let this be a gentle reminder to be kind and accepting of ALL people. Including those that earned a place in Private Schools Recognise that the "playing field" is not at all a level surface. As these Marxist-Socialists would have you believe Children who learn differently are not weird. They are merely gifted in ways that our society does not yet value enough. Yet they want what everyone else wants: To be accepted!! It is ridiculous to suggest that Private Schools should be Banned because they "breed inequality" when there is actually no equality in the First place, the second place, third place and so on. These Marxist-Socialist in my view would seek to Ban Children from listening to Bed-Time Stories, fearing that they may become somewhat ahead of their fellows. If that did not accomplish "equality" of result then they would have to Ban humanity, because humanity just is not equal

[@sama3033]

I love Ash all the more for the admission that she was bent on psychedelics at times. You go girl!

[@chrislambert9435]

Sama, When you have a neurotypical child, you feel reasonably assured that class participation and decent study habits will result in good grades. These children have close friends. They get invited to participate in social things like dances and weekend gatherings. They make the teams, auditions, organisations, and clubs. But when you have a child with certain differences, this is often not the case. Learning may take longer, both academically and socially. Despite their tremendous efforts, results are often a fraction of their peers, and social acceptance is fleeting, setting them up for painful comparisons and bitter frustration. Instead of a fun and fulfilling experience, school can perhaps become a breeding ground for depression and anxiety and a battleground at home. It is exhausting for both parents and children. But, with the right support, these children can sometimes grow up to move mountains. These special humans are often the inventors, the entrepreneurs, and the people that push society along, move us forward with their ‘outside the box’ thinking. We desperately need their input, going forward more than ever. And our world would be far less beautiful without them. In the USA this is the week of SPED (Special Education), Autism, Dyslexia, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) awareness, AND FASD ( Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder). For all the children who struggle every day to succeed in a world that does not YET recognise their gifts and talents, and for those who are walking beside them, I salute you. And to those amongst us who don’t walk this road, please let this be a gentle reminder to be kind and accepting of ALL people. Including those that earned a place in Private Schools Recognise that the "playing field" is not at all a level surface. As these Marxist-Socialists would have you believe Children who learn differently are not weird. They are merely gifted in ways that our society does not yet value enough. Yet they want what everyone else wants: To be accepted!! It is ridiculous to suggest that Private Schools should be Banned because they "breed inequality" when there is actually no equality in the First place, the second place, third place and so on. These Marxist-Socialist in my view would seek to Ban Children from listening to Bed-Time Stories, fearing that they may become somewhat ahead of their fellows. If that did not accomplish "equality" of result then they would have to Ban humanity, because humanity just is not equal

[@HARRi81_UK]

Great discussion Ash, thoroughly enjoyed it.

[@mirandabrunskill7755]

Very interesting and insightful interview, especially about the psychology and damage of it all.

[@chrislambert9435]

What Socialist bollocks.This fails to mention the Thousands of children that found Private School absolutely Fantastic It also fails to mention Failing State Schools that have received double the amount of cash that the Private Schools got

[@cherylfanson1815]

Read his book Sad Little Men. Definitely worth reading

[@roterotevideo]

Yeah my dad was a military brat and in boarding school and it made him a broken person. It was also used as a constant threat against me and my sister.

[@crayonburry]

The only thing I’ve felt through this discussion wasn’t majority empathy, but a strong disgust, over and over again. It had to be me consciously reminding myself to empathize with victims of a system who grow into perpetrators perpetuators and oppressors.

[@Neil070]

I bought this book a while ago, meaning to read it after I retired. Now it's time! Good to hear this interview, gives extra texture to the work

[@lisaglaze250]

After abolishing private schools the next step would be to move Parliament away from London

[@mirandabrunskill7755]

Agreed 💯

[@sarahwaters5475]

There is the other side to this, in that the family life is toxic with mother beating and locking the child out of the house and father ignoring the mother's behaviour, due to his own determination to do well. For the child, boarding school becomes a safe retreat whilst "home" life is fearful. I agree with the emotional shut down and not trusting anyone as well as the learnt protective layer due to the fear of being abandoned.

[@0532phillipjoy]

Oh yes, pity the child for whom such a school is a refuge - double distress.

[@cheshirecat1212]

On the other hand, the child with the fearful home life is more likely to be targeted by paedo-staff/older students.

[@toby81tube]

Not sure that's 'the other side to this'?

[@sarahwaters5475]

@@cheshirecat1212 Certainly bullied and humiliated by the other children who must have sensed the child's hurt and disconnection. If there had been paedo-staff, it would have been a nightmare and not a safe retreat, I guess.

[@sarahwaters5475]

@@0532phillipjoy A lot to work through in adult life, to learn to love the inner child and be aware of others' hurt and to trust. An opportunity to have inner strength and build survival skills to share with others, maybe?

[@1cpascal]

As somebody who went to a number of schools, both private and state, I have mixed feelings about private schools. My mother changed her mind often about how she wanted things to be. When I was 5 1/2, she sent me to a private boarding school in the English countryside. I didn't see her for months at a time, as she lived in the US, although my grandmother lived a few miles away. When I was 7, she took me back out again. Living at the school was a painful experience, as the school didn't ordinarily take boarders my age. Therefore, a regular part of my day was watching my classmates be picked up by their parents while I stayed at the school. At the same time, given the options that were on the table, the school was probably the best place for me to be. I don't come from a particularly advantageous background, and I've often wondered what opportunities I might have had if I had stayed at the school. Being taken to the US was also a traumatic experience, as I loved England. I just didn't understand why I couldn't go home at the end of the day.

[@pussygalore731]

You poor person , what a horrible cold mother to just dump a 5 year old on strangers and then jet off to another county thousands of miles away, a true Sociopath if ever I heard of one

[@chrislambert9435]

The Marxist-Labour Party is opposed to Parents providing Education for their own Children, and seek to penalise this with VAT. Some Crank Labour MPs have said "the whole problem" is that Private Schools are "the Engine" of inequality, I ask does these Labour Party Marxist-Cranks also oppose Parents purchasing Cloths for their children ? and also perhaps do they oppose Parents purchasing Food for their children ? Because surely the clothing & Food may be also a cause of so-called inequality. Government in the UK at the present time is using Tax payers Cash to pay for the Clothing & Food of around 10 Million UK Residents, why not do it with the remainder ? Equality in Education, or equality in “result in education” is simply not possibly because in the very first place the children themselves are all different, they all possess different Talents, abilities, enthusiasms and capacities. Will the Labour Party Marxist Cranks seek to ban children from listening to Bedtime stories, because its well known that children that listen to bedtime stories excel more than their fellows