Absolute Mad Lads - Blackbeard

[@CountDankula]

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[@classicjoe8014]

No, it's gay.

[@jona7357]

I WAS HERE

[@droidzilla22]

Dude you gotta do John McAfee

[@operator2855]

Yall should be happy he has a sponsor. Doesn't mean you have to install. Jeez people

[@kabibusdabibus2169]

I heard if you click dank's link your pp will get bigger.

[@declanlee4958]

Blackbeard’s story told by orange beard

[@cheeselover4379]

Lmao

[@Neo2266.]

*Redbeard

[@FlyingScott]

So... Barbarossa?

[@AnimaVox_]

Orange beard bad! I had to do it.

[@dolphinboi-playmonsterranc9668]

More like Tardbeard

[@Freelocybin]

"The military industial complex is actually much older than you think" big truth.

[@TheDominionOfElites]

War was a profitable venture since the start of history, it has only become less so in the modern era. Now any government at war has its economy suffer while the arms industry profits.

[@tpayne7020]

Gives me a big think.

[@davidpowell6098]

Kennedy and Eisenhower warned about the power of the military industrial complex, they both warned of the increasing amount of power it was aquiring, their words were ignored. Now we have wars to order. Thank you the Federal Reserve.

[@ZhukelDror]

I liked this comment seconds before he said it. I just agreed with it.

[@gustoslapswill]

@@TheDominionOfElites Look up 'A new Pearl Harbour ' brother, eye-opener on the MIC.

[@frankjones1542]

blackbeard hops on ur ship and steals your silver, gems, xp booster and free epic champion at sword-point

[@Yagh10]

NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[@ehsbe1056]

Anything but that

[@reallybigdumbidiot7144]

Nah, he points all 6 of his pistols at you, one in between each of his fingers

[@VLLVN420]

ATHENA'S ONLY

[@rickconnolly5006]

Oh nay hee dudunt!

[@wood7206]

"Revolt against the nagging wife." -Stede Bonnet

[@entername8655]

STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDE

[@wood7206]

Stede Feed?

[@entername8655]

Steed bonnet

[@entername8655]

Internet historians video on stede bonnet

[@wood7206]

I know

[@michaelstronghold3550]

"Dead men tell no tales" Immediately Epstien comes to mind

[@runi5413]

"Dead men tell no tales" they can still vote Democrat in U.S. elections, however! [Just kidding 😄]

[@michaelstronghold3550]

@@runi5413 no you're not. Its true.

[@treyartson6788]

@MarSar Fishin' Not to mention those they permanently put in the grave with no chance of resurrection.

[@hydraxon6940]

Saw this at 1111 likes. blessed quads for a based comment

[@8-bitsarda747]

you mean the guy who didn't kill himself?

[@Alistocrat]

5 gunshots and 20 stab wounds? My guy was a real life boss fight.

[@hewhobattles8869]

Ikr? Even if Blackbeard wasn't an actual demon, he clearly wasn't normal. He was just built different.

[@GhostLink92]

*20 STAB WOUNDS*

[@scotcheggable]

It's not actually that far-fetched. In a fight when adrenaline is high it's a matter of precision rather than amount of total damage that matters. So long as nothing vital is destroyed like major arteries or organs, then you can survive a hell of a lot more damage than youd expect. You might bleed out after the battle and the adrenaline stops and you go into shock, but until then you can just keep on trucking.

[@MrClean-lk6vi]

I hate how people somehow forgot to bring some potions before fighting Final Boss... smh

[@FrostbiteDigital]

Kind of reminds me of another legendary pirate who suffered 267 sword wounds, 152 gunshots and 46 cannon balls while dying standing tall...

[@grabbin_]

The perfect Sequel to Internet Historians 'The Gentleman Pirate'.

[@micfail2]

That was my first thought

[@sandromikadze3890]

Exactly

[@skullythegermanicleprechau7394]

All my favorite Chanels are on a pirate kick I guess and I'm oka with that

[@Megaspartan23]

Stedeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

[@heffe]

Underrated comment

[@jimbro9276]

the reason blackbeard was vilified so much even for his somewhat fair behavior is because its rumored he trained his pet parrot to salute when he said "gas the british"

[@pistol71]

Ok that's actually WAY funnier than the original offending "pug" video!

[@chchedda]

Wasnt Blackbeard English/British

[@pistol71]

@@chchedda Yes of course. That's made clear here too. Probably born and raised in or around Bristol. But why do you ask❓

[@pistol71]

Oh I see. You didn't get the Nazi/Pug "gas the British" reference?

[@johnsonpragantha2974]

"Kenway, In a world without Gold, we might've been heroes." - Black Beard

[@deadmeme8011]

The best Assassin's Creed, from a character standpoint alone. I haven't been so broken up about a character's death since I was a child, and I got that with multiple consecutive character deaths in that game.

[@benaugustinmcconnon377]

@@deadmeme8011 Anne starts singing and Edward remembers the gang at the table before going to meet his daughter for the first time... heartbreaking 💔 Great fucking ending!

[@deadmeme8011]

@@benaugustinmcconnon377 God, I even missed fucking Vane. Watching him devolve hurt.

[@mallorismith3126]

I just finished AC4 and blackbeard's death was gut wrencher man, blackbeard and Mary Reed were both such incredible characters

[@liamstewart2287]

Adewale: "What of Thatch, sir; did he fall? Captain?" Edward: "He drinks damnation."

[@iAMTreydiddy]

Imagine being such a badass that the government says, "Please just stop and we'll forget what happened. Also, we may need your help later." LMAO

[@okramoffacebook1381]

Götz von Berlichingen nods in agreement

[@w0y4k15]

Hackers are like the modern day pirates, I suppose?

[@dnrob7]

It's just good business.. Though BB was playing a real dangerous game with that blockade. You couldn't go around tempting the ire of the royal navy and live to see a happy ending. I'm also wondering why he didn't just buy medical supplies.. He clearly had money. Why risk picking a fight you could never win for some rubbing alcohol and bandages?

[@bobvlaudville826]

@@dnrob7 drinking alcohol worked out fine

[@bigbrotheriswatching2680]

@@w0y4k15 cute, pathetic, and no not at all. the modern day pirates are called terrorists. terrorism works kids.

[@theproplady]

Damn. Blackbeard's defeat is the closest thing I can think of to a real life bossfight. You're just hacking away trying to get his HP down to zero but the bastard still keeps going...

[@joshshrum2764]

That’s how Luffy’s, final battle with Blackbeard, will go.

[@NODnuke45]

I wonder if they had fifers and drummers to play the boss music.

[@ultimate_pleb]

And then you realise there's a second fase

[@ultimate_pleb]

@@NODnuke45 i'd imagine the music would be similar to ahadow of the Colossus

[@LoliMaster69227]

@@joshshrum2764 fucking Zoro comes out of nowhere and decapitates Blackbeard lmao

[@JohnDoe-on6ru]

"...And cut Blackbeard's head clean off." -So Blackbeard, Channeling his inner Uday Hussein, flew into a rage...

[@fraydizs7302]

underrated

[@redjirachi1]

Don't compare that degenerate to Blackbeard

[@vincentvandyke2772]

@@redjirachi1 they're both degenerates

[@jamesgorman899]

@@vincentvandyke2772 Uday was way worse 100%

[@vincentvandyke2772]

@jbiehlable what's his favourite colour since you know him so much? fucking plant pot

[@kugelblitzkrieg]

Fun fact: Many pirates drank much more alcohol instead of water because normal water would get stagnant fairly quickly. Alcohol won’t go bad, and can be added to stagnant water as a sort of disinfectant to make grog. That, and pirates loved to get drunk.

[@davidpowell6098]

Sailors of the Royal Navy were issued half a pint of rum a day, the officers were worried that they were getting drunk so they watered it down by half.

[@aleksisuuronen5969]

Also you won't just sweat out the neccesarily water in very hot days after drinking. The minerals of the water in those alchoholic beverages would stay in the body.

[@duncanb1981]

Another fun fact.. pirates wore an eye patch so when they went below deck where it was dark they would switch the eye it was worn on for instant night vision.

[@mr.bootleg424]

I thought Grog was half water, a quarter rum, and another quarter lemon juice.

[@danpugh9407]

@@mr.bootleg424 maybe later on other ingredients were added in varing or exact quantities but the origins were just that of rum added to water to stop stagnation and as part of an alcoholic ration

[@thisisthelukas]

Satan on his inspection days: "Yup, ship's on fleek. Keep up the good work."

[@vanjatanevski962]

Lmao

[@ilimes]

cringe

[@zawarudo1951]

@@ilimes how

[@TrueRetroflection]

“Oldboy was here”

[@talloccasion1562]

*also scurries away when approached*

[@joekaz5198]

I grew up on the North Carolina coast and as a school-child, learning about Blackbeard was as normal as learning about George Washington

[@cagedblaze]

Same. Absolutely true.

[@cmikles1]

I visited Beaufort on vacation just because of Blackbeard.

[@jdbradford5661]

@@cmikles1 grew up a couple minutes away. It was always cool being able to see those places in person.

[@cagedblaze]

@robin Braznell we can only hope they do.

[@RecordedMercury]

Im from the piedmont area and we learned about that too. Nobody told us how badass he truly was though

[@TheAlmightyLoli]

If you think about it, Black Beard was basically the Big Boss of pirates. He even had his own Outer Heaven.

[@timmytatoe4248]

Damn dude ever since ive subbed ive seen you everywhere lol

[@nigerianprincewithaids]

BIG BEARD

[@malachaimoniz2290]

Just here to appreciate the dorohedoro profile pic

[@MrClean-lk6vi]

Damn, I guess first stage wasn’t enough for him uh...

[@nomad5544]

"Let's make our own hell and see how long we can stand it" I can see the resemblance

[@oliverstone6573]

"People believed he was a demon from the pits of hell." Come on man that was the perfect set up to roast the shit out of bristol

[@randylahey8434]

Urgh. Went to Bristol recently. All I saw was BLM propaganda and vandalism everywhere. Sad that such a great city could fall so far.

[@bryan1687]

@@randylahey8434 why the fuck would you go to Bristol?

[@eddiebruv]

The only time that I’ve ever been to Bristol my car got broken into. That didn’t even happen to me in Liverpool!

[@gabrielcooper1248]

@@bryan1687 the coach station so you can get out of Bristol

[@jimsaintruth4248]

I'm stuck here for university and it is as bad as everyone describes it as, you can't erect a fence without it being vandalised by next morning. My local shop has a giant three story tall mural of Saint Greta Thurnburg staring down at me with her crooked feral alcohol syndrome riddled eyes and disapproving scowl

[@baron8576]

You can take away from this entire story that Blackbeard and his men were NOT mindless murdering, plundering, hostage taking drunkards. *Most of the time.*

[@caldw615]

Many Pirates had a lot of strict rules to keep the crew in line. No gambling, no fighting, no sneaking women on board, had to be in the sleeping area before curfew. You couldn't run a very tight ship able to respond to a navy vessel if everyone's disorganised or fighting with themselves.

[@scitechian]

A serial killer spends 99% of his time not killing anything.

[@k4yser]

@@scitechian but scheming

[@IrrieldeCZ]

mostly peaceful pirates

[@AngryAlfonse]

@@IrrieldeCZ 👀

[@themegadonger2186]

Yo when we getting a mad lad on Teddy Roosevelt. Man gets shot and carries on with his talk to be reelected, wrestles in the white house, and rode horses into gun fire.

[@mukistuff1049]

watch that be what its about now

[@umoma6526]

Or on bismarck who actually Beat up his would have been assasine while he was Shooting at him

[@bigman4762]

Not to mention he cut a country in two

[@14TND88]

not to mention he’s the only president to receive a medal of honor

[@14TND88]

@@bigman4762 cringe taft posting

[@ConeyDawg]

So what you're saying is that 40% of Blackbeard's crew were full of exaggerated swagger?

[@gekko99]

15 percent of the population is responsible for 50 percent of exaggerated swagger

[@luisyamamoto1884]

LMFAO

[@benthomason3307]

@@gekko99 That tends to happen when you institutionally marginalize 5% of the population to the point where they are left with no incentive _not_ to exaggerate swagger.

[@ffffdsd]

@Yosef Shekelberg oh please say this is just a bad joke.

[@resetfakemail4685]

@@ffffdsd youre birth was a bad joke yet here you are

[@megagrips6470]

internet historian does steed bonnet, dankula does blackbeard. seems correct.

[@TheDominionOfElites]

Fitting. They both did a great job too. Internet Historian’s video is a damn animated movie

[@emunuddles]

@@TheDominionOfElites It was the best movie I've seen this year

[@Party_Almsivi]

>writers of the time framed pirates more negatively to stir a moral panic “You wouldn’t download a ship!”

[@NODnuke45]

I remember seeing these when I was a little kid in the 90s and all I remember thinking is "yeah I would never download whole movies because it would take fucking forever on dial up" lol

[@six2make4]

"You wouldn't download a car" Yes... Yes I would if I could and I've only met like one person who wouldn't... Those always made me laugh.

[@hanshansen5058]

I´d download a ship, a plane and a jetpack if i could.

[@j.a.m9323]

The music started playing In my head when I read "you wouldn't download a ship!"

[@walkingslow6286]

I'd download a fucking space station if it was possible.

[@Alegy420]

"Judge a man not by the color of his skin but by how much booty he can plunder" truer words could not have been spoken🙏

[@katatonikbliss]

people of a certain skin color tend to plunder more than others nowadays, so maybe not the wisest choice of words bro

[@-dusan5726]

“The world just doesn’t want us anymore, Dutch!” -Arthur Morgan, 1899

[@krispinwah2784]

RDR2 and AC Black Flag were really similar in their stories

[@dragonbones3885]

Well who honestly wants violent criminal thugs who steal from the rich and give to whom they please

[@schoolguitar4285]

Why did you post this I love it but why?

[@-dusan5726]

@@schoolguitar4285 Bc they were cracking down on the pirates more

[@schoolguitar4285]

@@-dusan5726 well yeah makes sense

[@DutchFurnace]

"His ship had a name you all heard of" Me: "Aaah, The flyin.. Ann's revenge."

[@jcmick8430]

Lol! Who captained the flying Dutchman?

[@thesourfountain9005]

@@jcmick8430 it's a myth but it's said to be captained by Davie Jones

[@missdiction4455]

Almost spit my drink out lmaooo

[@AuzzieArtyst]

Exactly what I did when I was listening to this on the way home from work 💀

[@bodegaconnoisseur2548]

I was thinking the black pearl lol

[@itshample3010]

"In a world without gold, we might have been Heroes..."

[@thekeyandthegate4093]

Bro why you gotta make me cry like that

[@Frosthawk2815]

Came looking for this, he really seems to be done justice in ac4. Shame some of the finer details are left out in the game. "Why fly a black flag when a black beard will do" is another of my favourite quotes

[@oyblech8671]

ac4 definitely is one of if not the best depiction. even his very first line "go on, capt'n queernabs, tell me I'm under arrest. TELL ME!!", could you introduce this mad bastard any better?

[@punishedwhispers1218]

The only good ubisoft game

[@Chance_e67]

The most legendary and mind shattering words

[@johnsnews7606]

Internet historian: the gentleman pirate. For background on steed bonnet. Funny af

[@johnteslov5870]

yea I watched that too. Watching this after watching that is very complimentary.

[@williamkarlsson785]

yeah it was awesome

[@MrBlueBurd0451]

Stede Bonnet. Not Steed.

[@Luke4Smith]

thought it was steve bonnet

[@tylercoon1791]

Yeah, it was pretty funny, innit?

[@matts.6234]

I really, really hope you read this comment Dankula. My grandmother gave me a book written by a historian in North Carolina who went through old documents in the state and found out that there is some evidence that his true name was Edward Beard, heir to the Beard family's estate. He took the last name Teach or Thatch because he was a cabin boy on a ship owned by the family Teach. This theory explains why he spent so much time in Bath, where his family's lands and his sister lived. It was also common to call pirates "Black" as a nickname, like Black Bart Roberts, so Black Beard became Blackbeard. The Beard family were Highland Scots who owned plots of land in Bath, NC, and Blackbeard was fiercely loyal to the Scottish Royalty, as he named his ship for Queen Anne. Pirate captains at the time weren't lowlife orphans, they had to learn how to read, navigate, and use maps, so most captains from the time were actually from well off families. In fact, this book claims that Beard and Eden were neighbors and Beard's father was a friend of Gov. Eden. Unfortunately, the legend about him burning stuff in his beard is a bit of an embellishment. It was probably pieces of local trees, and the smoke would keep away mosquitoes. You try hanging around coastal NC for a few weeks in the summer without bug spray, and you'll understand why. This book is not confirmed by other historians, but I would like to think it is true. A marauding, 6+ foot tall, 250 pound hielan' Scottish pirate loyal to the Stuarts is just something too good to be false.

[@blacktigerpaw1]

North Carolina was infamous for Yellow Fever and malarial deaths. Until quinine became available it was a death trap.

[@electrictrojan6719]

What was the name of this book?

[@SentientDMT]

Having spent a summer in Southport, I couldn't imagine life before bug spray. Lol

[@stevennewlands2978]

Cheers for this bit of info sir 👍

[@jokerswang]

There's a chance I'm related to him in that case, my surname is Baird which is a variation of Bahard, Bard or Beard. If it is the case I now understand why I have the intrusive thoughts of raiding and pillaging.

[@kindenmalougi7232]

Pfft everyone knows Blackbeard died to British Privateer Hector Barbosa

[@Yuki-bk2my]

@Only Death not cannon

[@darthwalrus4740]

"For the Pearl"

[@kmc7355]

Probably Qanon or by cannon but not canon

[@darthwalrus4740]

@numbSKULLery True, but he would have died anyway to the poison from Barbossa's sword. Of course the fountain could have saved him though.

[@sandalogaming6766]

Yeah, and famous assassin Edward Kenway was along for the ride

[@Betterthenme]

Nova Scotia is what happens when Scots, Irish, Germans and French people mix then start eating giant bugs

[@sebastianriemer1777]

Isn't that the location of the trailer park show?

[@scooterdogg7580]

@@sebastianriemer1777 why yes it is , early episodes were better

[@awendigowithinternetaccess4400]

Wait, giant bugs?

[@Betterthenme]

@@awendigowithinternetaccess4400 lobsters are essentially oversized bugs

[@Smile4theKillCam456]

oh yeah, it’s giant bug eating time

[@bigchungus8538]

"low-rate knockoff, Nova Scotia" Bro that hurts :( we made Trailer Park Boys

[@902smoked]

And our country side is absolutely beautiful!

[@DigitalMoonlight]

Don't forget our greatest contribution... Pictou county pizza :p

[@stevechalmers9572]

If luck is on my side, I'll be riding out on my bike this spring for a month from Ontario....lifelong dream and cant wait. Gods country. Much love from the Dirty Dirty

[@JohnDoe-if2uo]

@@DigitalMoonlight and Northern Pulp

[@gung2549]

Also our Gaelic and fiddle music is better than the trash they have there

[@TheFIoridaMan]

“Give your quarry something to fear, some hellish thing from a fever dream, and men will drop to their knees pleading for their Lord before all else!”

[@krispinwah2784]

"that'll work" "course it will"

[@ThinWhiteAxe]

I live in North Carolina, and Blackbeard is still incredibly popular in his old stomping grounds. The Blackbeard flag is often flown over Okracoke Island and on the backs of cars as bumper stickers. 😆

[@poyoloco6501]

the same thing can be found here in charleston sc and as a kid i never knew why i would see his flag in random places around town but was an interesting bit of history to learn as i got older....i think theres even a bar or two or three in downtown charleston that flies his flag year round....funny thing about Stede Bonnet, he was captured by self proclaimed pirate hunter and charleston native William Rhett after Charles Vane attacked charleston and Rhett lost Vane.....IDK why they dont bother to teach any of this pirate history in school here in charleston but it should be because theres atually a good bit of pirate history here

[@agnetalykins7564]

@yeoldebiggetee Can confirm that every American History class I've ever been in basically gives half a day at most to anything before the American Revolution.

[@shanewebb3341]

@@agnetalykins7564 I had world history which did everywhere up until ww2

[@mydickisunbelievablysmallb7098]

I also believe his flag is used as the patch in one of the British SAS units.

[@heeman1203]

LEFT MY HOME IN BRISTOL, WITH A SWORD AND PISTOL,

[@itsliketryingtofitapowerst1860]

S P I N A L

[@marcoddy6812]

@@itsliketryingtofitapowerst1860 that actually made me laugh out loud.

[@NODnuke45]

@@itsliketryingtofitapowerst1860 HAHAHAHAAAAAAAHHH!

[@RatRatRattyRatRat]

Blackbeard: *Too angry to die.* Also Blackbeard: _Gets his head cut off._ Also Blackbeard's body: *Still too angry to die*

[@AJPwny]

"'Tis but a scratch!" "Your head's off!" "...No it isn't."

[@Rico_71]

*BFG division starts playing*

[@outsideanarchism5650]

“England wanted to keep the pirates on standby as they would still make good privateers in the case of another war” I really like how he explains in the possible motivations and self interest of the people he talks about. Like a little touch on psychology

[@8Maduce50]

Kinda like how yesterday's freedomfighters are today's terrorists

[@trequor]

Britain ran a commerce empire, first and foremost. The decision was pretty simple: spend money tracking down pirates (damaging ships and capable warriors in the process), or just ask them to stop and SAVE money in any future wars

[@ShizzyMcCreepy]

you forgot the part when Bonnet pulled out two AR-15's, killed the British government and resurrected the dead

[@yakikadafi745]

He also gave birth to George Washington

[@FlyingScott]

And Quartermaster was there!

[@blacktigerpaw1]

He then defeated the Templars with a big fucking grin on his face.

[@MichaelPhillips-jw4bj]

Most importantly he took out Mary

[@blacktigerpaw1]

@@MichaelPhillips-jw4bj *Maury Povich, high commander of the seas, delivering paternity tests everywhere

[@assassinprohd4539]

When dankula calls the province you live in "lowrate knockoff Scotland"

[@carolmartin1298]

I scrolled through the comments just to see if any other Nova Scotians caught this..Dank better watch his mouth with that kind of language haha

[@scooterdogg7580]

same coming from the low rate low rate version of Scotland myself lol

[@scooterdogg7580]

@The Bandog I thought it was funny , it was cool to be mentioned :)

[@Tunkkis]

I've always read that the skeleton in Teach's flag was holding an hourglass, signaling that the time of the victims was running out.

[@hewhobattles8869]

As badass as that sounds, i think i prefer the "Toast to the Devil" more

[@alanchalkley4157]

that was the story I knew too, but I like the 'Toasting the Devil' idea more.

[@reddivory5316]

Did you know that version of the flag isn’t Blackbeards, it came from a book in the early 1900s

[@TheSuperQuail]

I'm so stupid I actually thought the name of his ship was going to be The Jolly Roger.

[@JakeyBOO16]

That’s the flag

[@michawkwalter4205]

I thought it was the black pearl for a moment.

[@kartoffel4870]

That's the name of the ship sailed by the village people.

[@gsands1796]

I was thinking he was gonna say T Titanic!

[@johnj.spurgin7037]

Actually, if he did get his start in the Queen Anne's War, naming his ship the Queen Anne's Revenge has a lot more meaning.

[@ar.71944]

He forgot to mention Blackbeard's devil fruit

[@kalsang6255]

Exactly

[@stelioskelmaer3159]

Real blackbeard was just as hard to kill as 800hp gun shield blackbeard

[@zzodysseuszz]

Nah that show sucks

[@thatguywiththeface5232]

@@stelioskelmaer3159 whoever okayed that must have had a lot of cocaine

[@DragonTamerCos]

Yea he never mentioned white beard

[@normalcitizen_1]

”But before we get into the mad lad Its ya boi... Raid shadow legens” ”Kleck the lenk” Two phrases that will go down in history

[@sevenproxies4255]

Best advertisement for Raid Shadow Legends on KZbin

[@jkblohm9899]

“It isth your boy, Raid Shadow Legends” Whatever one it was where he had that lisp still kills me to this day.

[@seniorsabali8759]

😆

[@zhubacca]

I love the cheeky smile he gets when he said 'its ya boy'

[@justinnewcomb2279]

Ive gone fishing over the wreck of Queen Anne’s Revenge out by Fort Macon, It gives me chills every time I cast. Knowing that even though I cant see a few feet below the inlet that hides her, the aura and transcendence of a total badass and mad-lad still surrounds me.

[@jefff6636]

Hell yea dude, I grew up near there. Taking a walk around Ocracoke at night is also spooky as hell, especially down the harbor.

[@justinnewcomb2279]

@Roman von Ungern SternbergNo. it's just off the beach at Fort Macon, An old civil war fort turned State Park. Technically if the inlet didn't have an undertow you could swim out to it. But nobody is allowed to do it because the undertow, currents and literal boat traffic as it sits in the channel leading into Morehead's Harbor. Trust me though, you don't want to dive there.

[@ReclusiveDuck]

Big bearded guy? Liked a drink? Up for a fight? Walked around in a cloud of smoke?.....So he was just an 18th century Dankula.

[@Supreme-Emperor-Mittens]

JUDGE A MAN NOT BY THE COLOR OF HIS SKIN BUT BY HOW MUCH BOTTY HE CAN PLUNDER !!! - Yah Boi Dank 2020

[@edgargarred4319]

'Yah boi dank' was that a famous Chinese pirate?!

[@solo8734]

AYE LAD!

[@Paddy.C]

"Booty", pirate slang for treasure. If we judged men by how much "botty" they could plunder, Freddie Mercury would be the epitome of masculinity.

[@sirapple589]

Paddy .Cook So nothing would change?

[@godsdj7316]

YARGH!

[@dStrojdStroj]

Legend goes you can on occasion still find the descendants of African pirates raiding Nike stores in the New World to this very day...

[@stewartmeetball3417]

Best comment I've read in a wee while

[@RastaganTheGreen]

Harlem is Tortuga

[@spanglelime]

My favorite comment today 😄

[@emilyadams3228]

Flagship = Queen Latifah's Revenge

[@Spatulacactus]

@@Powerhaus88 never saw him disagree with that 🤣

[@collette3428]

At this point I'll have to assume Dank's funeral in 50+ years will be sponsored by Ya Boi Raid Shadow Legends

[@collette3428]

"Thanks everyone for coming...before we get in to the Eulogy...It's ya boi, Raid Shadow Legends"

[@MongooseTacticool]

Headstone inscription with QR code. "Kleck the lenk."

[@padraig5335]

If scottish women get free feminine products, dank can get yo boy raid shadow legends

[@restlessfrager]

I mean his baby literally is paid by raid shadow legends

[@restlessfrager]

@Roman von Ungern Sternberg Dankula literally paid for his ivf with raid shadow legends money dude, he made a video about it.

[@JoeyHollywoodFilms]

"A ship you've all heard the name of..." Me: "The Black Pearl!" "...Queen Ann's Revenge"

[@Epic-pf8od]

Lmao literally what I was thinking.

[@CarcassGrater]

This

[@louiewatson9389]

The black pearl is fictional.

[@Epic-pf8od]

@@louiewatson9389 nah, it's real, have you seen the documentary "Pirates of the Caribbean"?

[@NPC-nn4qe]

​@@louiewatson9389 ("u srs rn, bro?")>눈_눈

[@arkroyalslegalteam4911]

Everyone gangsta until the sea starts speaking Bristolian

[@kurokagethescrub9627]

The combination of your avatar and nickname has successfully completed the transfer of my sides into geostationary orbit.

[@theemeraldblonde218]

Do you mean Brummy

[@arkroyalslegalteam4911]

@@kurokagethescrub9627 Glad I could be of service chief.

[@jaimeKeigh]

@@theemeraldblonde218 Last I checked Bristol wasnt Birmingham.

[@Critical_Stinking]

@@theemeraldblonde218 Birmingham doesn't have a port.

[@framesapien]

"..or, do you think of a group of Somalian intellectuals trying to, make an honest living for themselves!" I died..

[@FriendlierFetus]

Roman Von Ungern-Sternberg would be PERFECT for Absolute Madlads.

[@amiablebee7318]

oo who's that? I haven't heard of him

[@orenum]

Funny white general man

[@hom3bon333]

my thoughts exactly

[@amiablebee7318]

@E Fig sounds like a prime mad lads candidate

[@jokester3076]

@@amiablebee7318 sternberg lead a detachment of the White Russian army into Outer Mongolia to free the country from the Chinese and restore Bogd Khan to power, he hoped to enlist the mongols in his war against the bolsheviks.

[@TrollHiddenCave]

He says piracy ended at 1712 *Laughs in somolian*

[@StubbornBullet]

He meant successful piracy...

[@cashwat210]

Yeah but pirates back then were unique, eccentric, and had a lot of fire power. They did it for shits and giggles. Somalian pirates are just sad. They do it because the live in a war-torn, HIV ridden failed state. Chasing down ships in their rundown dinghys while wearing flip flops and shooting with rusty AKs.

[@Gamespectives]

People forget that asia also had pirates (notably South East Asian pirates), and that didn't die out till 2013, 41% of pirates at the 20th century happened in Asia. Not just somaoia

[@MechaSegaNite]

1710-1718 were Golden years of Piracy. He never said All piracy ended

[@MarcusIuliusBalbus]

“This was a time where people still believed in demons.” Pedos: Am I a joke to you?

[@uninspiringspoon9578]

No, demons are meant to be scary and intimidating. They're not meant to be some fat fucker in a stained hoodie

[@distantlol]

@@uninspiringspoon9578 LMFAOO

[@kosmas173]

Your name is spelled wrong The correct way to spell it is: μολών λαβέ

[@phangirlable]

@@uninspiringspoon9578 The problem is that the majority of pedos are 16+ year olds that you would never expect to be that way. Google Richard Huckle and tell me this guy isn't a demon. Thankfully he got killed by a fellow inmate some time ago. :D

[@MarcusIuliusBalbus]

@@kosmas173 Thank you. It has been corrected. It's easy to mix up alphas with omicrons.

[@michaelpipkin9942]

Please do The Atomic BoyScout. The crazy kid built a nuclear reactor in his back yard with smoke detectors.

[@MK-ge2mh]

I'm not lying when I say this. David Hann went to my school. My younger brother was friends with him for a short time in middle school, before he did all of those bad things. He came over to my house at least once that I can remember. I distinctly remember two things about him: he was wearing a boy scout uniform and he was not a nice guest. I didn't know until recently just how big that story became.

[@ashley-cn3rz]

He actually never got close to a reaction, he more or less made a neutron emitter.

[@strider6294]

@@MK-ge2mh He wasn't a nice guest? Please elaborate you've intrigued me.

[@jcmick8430]

@@strider6294 he pooped in the toilet tank what's that called? An upper decker?

[@MK-ge2mh]

@@strider6294 I'll tell you all that I remember. David Hahn was in my brother's 6th or 7th grade class. He came over one Saturday morning dressed as a Boy Scout. He looked just like Dennis the Menace, but wasn't at all likable. He was a pushy kid. My brother didn't have many friends, so he made friends with others who didn't have many friends either. I remember my brother trying to be a good host and please David by suggesting things to do and David constantly rejecting each idea, but never suggesting anything either. It went something like this: My brother: How about we play X? David Hahn: No! I don't want to play X! My brother: OK. How about we play Y? David Hahn: No! I don't want to play Y! I thought about saying, "How about you get the hell out of my house then?" He might have come over to our house a 2nd time, but I can't quite remember. I know my brother went to his house twice. Then I think my mother said that she didn't want my brother to play with him anymore. I completely forgot about him until years later when I was in college, my brother called to tell me about David Hahn's arrest. I didn't remember his name. My brother had to remind me and then I said, "Oh yeah, that little punk." But because I was extremely busy working on a double major in college, I didn't follow the news. So, I thought it was just some local thing. I didn't even think about it again until a couple of years ago when here on KZbin a suggestion came up for a video with a title like "The Nuclear Boy Scout" with a photo of David Hahn. I wouldn't have recognized him other than his blonde hair. That's all I remember about him.

[@angrycrusader3926]

"For if a Man plays the fool, then it's then it's only Fools he'll persuade. But appear to be the Devil, and all Men will submit."

[@distant4766]

I miss my friend Evan. You remind me of him. It's like he never died. You look and sound nothing like him. It's just the fact that he would tell you one hell of a story with submersion effortlessly. You felt like as he told it you were on the boat or battlefield he was speaking of. He was a good kid and that's what I'll remember him for forever. Thanks man. I'm a vet and missing a friend while I'm drinking. Thanks for letting me hang out with you.

[@mosterchife6045]

You should do an episode on Julius Caesar, the man who told the people who captured him for ransom that they should ransom him for more money than he was as already being ransomed for.

[@TheHansJailbird]

then after being set free, he hunted his captures down and had them all crucified

[@ComradeCommissarYuri]

Built a bridge, raided lands of Germanic tribes, came back across the bridge and then demolished it All because he could 😂

[@kangkong6795]

The Virgin Gauls and Senate vs the Chadus Maximus Invictus Caesar. You should all sub to DovahHatty for the Absolutely U N B I A S E D History of Rome. Do it now, plebs

[@oz_jones]

@@kangkong6795 imagine assassinating the first emperor and the plebs just start rioting because they actuslly liked living under him

[@liamme54]

“Too angry to die” Are we sure this man wasn’t from Dathomir?

[@apossiblyhereticalalphaleg3595]

Local pirate literally too angry to die

[@austinkersey2445]

Yes, because he was from Iridonia.

[@mistertaz94]

Clearly he had Black Templar geneseed in him

[@Thornsaint5301]

The classic “you may be Bad guy, but... that doesn’t make you a Bad guy.”

[@makattack6446]

Nah Blackbeard was full on bad guy

[@sirp7394]

@Kristian Kalinkina he was a badass bad guy

[@kingkickenwing]

Turns out those two pirates who were sent to get the medicine, were Australians.

[@kingkickenwing]

@Deuse Juice HAHAHAHA LOL LMAO ROFL KEK

[@oz_jones]

Underrated

[@akumasstorytime3910]

Pretty sure atleast one guy was a Welsh blonde named Edward

[@dreadwaters7898]

The low rate Scotland hits perfect , Pictou county Nova Scotia born and raised. Been to Scotland once felt like home. Meth ,drinking in excess and I could go to jail at any time for a joke.

[@therealbaylee]

Meth isn't the issue its heroin.

[@jimdarhower4945]

Fellas, fellas, we all know Jenkem is the true pandemic.

[@andrewjennings7306]

Do you speak Gaelic?

[@stephen8996]

@@therealbaylee just be thankful you don't really have fentanyl over there

[@Bottlekiller]

Despite making up only 40% of Blackbeard's crew...

[@viracocha6093]

I don’t get it

[@Bottlekiller]

@@viracocha6093 Very good, that means you're not an evil statistician xD

[@HiddenEvilStudios]

@daddy I believe we prefer the term "based boys", thank you very much.

[@darksu6947]

@daddy Well it's true!

[@MattieK09]

daddy racists love statistics... ok ... Aka facts are racists. Got it

[@karsentube13yt]

Fun fact: One of his descendants fought as a privateer for Britain in the war of 1812 and then became a pirate, but was killed by Andrew Jackson. He never got the same reputation as Blackbeard though, not even close.

[@Ballin4Vengeance]

He took a little trip along with colonel Jackson down the mighty Caribique.

[@elyenidacevedo1995]

Damn he was killed by a US president 💀

[@korvusgaming4927]

In 1814 he took a little trip...

[@Leboobs22]

@@elyenidacevedo1995 Andrew Jackson once beat up his own assassin

[@BIackCadillac]

The fact that they would raid ships just for alcohol is fucking hilarious. This alone makes him quite the mad lad lmfao.

[@ausgoldman9442]

Rum was a valuable commodity at the time. Men were paid in rations with certain amounts of rum.

[@mr.100rupees3]

ATTENTION: a pirate that goes by the name Blackbeard has fallen in the Lego city river

[@AJPwny]

Build the sloop, and off to the rescue!

[@1man1comment63]

People are still saying this?

[@laDy_A1ram]

HEY

[@gabecarter3554]

@@1man1comment63 youd be surprised

[@nicks4725]

N. Carolina: "where did you get this treasure?" B.B: " we found them." N. Carolina: "are you suggesting treasure is a migratory?!?" B.B: drops fat sack of gold on the bench "yes, i am"

[@emilyadams3228]

Wot's the water-speed velocity of a heavily-laden pirrrate slewp? What d'you mean? A French or Spanish sloop? Wot...Oi...Oi down't now that! HLWAAAHHHHHHH!!!! 'Ow d'yew kneow so much about slewps? You have to know these things when you're a Commodore, you know.

[@DISTurbedwaffle918]

"How did you get this treasure?" Found it. "In what condition did you find it?" On a boat. "And in what condition was the boat?" Floating. "And you claim this boat is yours?" Yeah, I found it.

[@PunchGod741]

Love Monty python and the holy grail!

[@sammehman]

"In a world without gold, we might have been heros!"

[@christhier10]

Blackbeard before each raid had to say “this raid is brought to you by raid shadow legends”

[@777MrTibbs]

Blackbeard: ....You know, I can just make more money stealing from merchants. Merchants: Wait, that's illegal.

[@NEEDbacon]

BB: I forgot where that's my problem

[@plopperdopper6398]

"What do you think of when you think of pirate" YOU WOULDNT STEAL A TV

[@jsgv0rt3x19]

That's a blast from the past, holy shit

[@erichzannbusoumuzan]

*gets shot in the head by FBI for downloading movies* "You WILL. Face. Consequences!"

[@normalperson2977]

Count Dankula’s pirate name would still be Count Dankula

[@orionpryme]

Captain Count and his ship of absolute mad lads.

[@joshshrum2764]

He should be in One Piece.

[@dorugoramon0518]

"A time in history where people believed demons were real" It is a great tragedy that most people no longer do.

[@TheAutistWhisperer]

“A man's dream… Will NEVER die!” - Blackbeard

[@dxmanforlife]

THE DREAM OF PIRATES WILL NEVER ENDDD!!!

[@siddbastard]

Zeeehahaha !

[@ImInLoveWithBulla]

Edward Teach also illegally downloaded uncensored loli hentai. But that’s not really what he’s known for.

[@TheRobag]

He also had a secret crush on Francis Drake.

[@jooot_6850]

@@TheRobag Who doesn't?

[@rikishikato5001]

@@TheRobag we all, who loves mommy milkies, do, man.

[@SendirianAja]

@@TheRobag Just pirate being pirate, looking for them booties.

[@austinkersey2445]

@@rikishikato5001 Not the Fate Francis Drake dammit.

[@Cxander1980]

The Count would be the most effective history teacher. Imagine an educational book by C. Dankula....Brutality!

[@thescarecrow897]

A pirate island separated from any government where everyone drinked and shared equally the loot from raids . Sounds based to me

[@jaysin8969]

Steed Bonnet; Unhappy with his marriage, wants to be on a ship for long periods of time with only men, and has a fancy blonde mustache and a gentlemanly appearance. I think he may have been a fruit. At least he won't get scurvy 😂

[@emilyadams3228]

Walk THIS plank, daddy.

[@brickbat44]

@Gay icon Todoroki roger the cabin boy

[@brickbat44]

seaman stains

[@brickbat44]

Master bates

[@brickbat44]

@Gay icon Todoroki HARD MEN

[@IparIzar]

The Scottish accent was the spice needed to make the phrase "Hornygold took him under his wing" perfect.

[@wolfofmibu3074]

Trust me Demons still exist. I was married to one for years.

[@quest8795]

Karen?

[@darksu6947]

I was too! But damn she was great in bed! My ex-wife was such a dirty little pervert! I miss her sometimes 😋

[@randompanda3415]

And what does it say about you that you picked her?

[@darksu6947]

@@randompanda3415 That I'm also a pervert?

[@dogmanbitehurt8243]

@@randompanda3415 And what does it say about him that he left her?

[@artsofthewood5748]

“When you hear stories about black beard just remember, he wasn’t that bad.” And likewise when you hear about a Nazi pug just remember, he’s not that bad.

[@Bnkrobber]

LOVE that Pug. Hilarious.!!

[@stephen8996]

You know even if a pug was a hardcore Nazi, he's still alright with me. A pug is a pug

[@digitalcthulhu143]

based pug

[@lordpumpkinhead265]

I support that pug.

[@aceyirl]

I still wonder why we have sequels up the butt. Yet stories like this aren't made into film...

[@ekscalybur]

To be fair, if we saw Blackbeard's end on film, we'd all call it hollywood bullshit. Musket shot doesn't make tiny holes, and sabers cut deep.

[@alext5497]

Black sails had a decent interpretation. Fictional Historical drama.

[@rangerryz1490]

@@alext5497 except they keel hauled blackbeard which wasnt accurate

[@aceyirl]

Thanks I'll have to check it out.

[@JaelaOrdo]

Nowadays what’s the first thing you think of when you hear the word pirate? Ilhan Omar

[@kalsang6255]

???

[@bradmarkus7768]

@@kalsang6255 reddit

[@minnesotanfreedomist3147]

@@kalsang6255 Cause she’s Somali.

[@RossTheNinja]

@@minnesotanfreedomist3147 and a crook

[@whynottalklikeapirat]

No. It's blackbeard.

[@pauld7512]

Beer in the fridge, gotta get the chips, go go go

[@rezarfar]

Like you said, dead men tell no tales, indeed the biggest reason why Blackbeard was so famous was because he let so many people go free, the other reason was because of his last stand, which made his legend so famous, he was a huge guy, like 6.6 over 200 pounds and tough as steel wrought in hell fire, but there were really bad pirates that made Blackbeard look like a saint. Some Pirates that lasted longer, some made more booty and some like Bloody Henry Every and Cheng I Sao who got away with their loot and retired. But there were some who put cruelty and depravity to whole other levels. Francois L'Olonnais and Ned Lowe. Francois was really notorious among the Spanish, they thought he was some sort of devil from hell, the animal cut out a mans heart and ate it in front of him before he died, he killed the entire crew except one person, who he sent back to tell the others, this person was so feared by the Spanish that their Navy were genuinely afraid to engage his ship. Ironically he himself was also cannibalised but hey ho, thats the life of a pirate. Ned Lowe (Edward Lowe) was even worse, he would torture people because he actually took genuine enjoyment from it, he wouldn't do it to extract information, like... the MAIN REASON for torturing people would be because they didn't give you what you wanted. He would torture people, because he ENJOYED IT, not because he needed to do it, but because he WANTED to do it. Think about that for a moment. He would cook their body parts and make them eat it, burn ships with people still on them. I believe he was hanged, luckily for humans within his vicinity. Black Bart was actually quite bad too but he was more like Black Beard in that he was just another bad ass, good with a sword and tough as nails. He hated high ranking officers but otherwise he didn't really care and wasn't as evil as the above mentioned. Hayreddin Barbarossa was actually quite a notorious pirate too but his were entirely different circumstances and nearly 200 years before the European golden age of piracy. Im happy to write about Hayreddin if anyone is interested. But in case you are not, Hayreddin Barbarossa is alternatively known as, The Pirate King.

[@theking8027]

More please

[@liquidsnail7305]

More pls

[@WTCasual]

Ahhh, good ol whoever this is, the maddest of lads

[@burneraccount3635]

Hunter s tompson or joey diaz haha

[@Howtragicforyou]

Insulting my homeland of nova scotia will always be tolerated. We weirdly show up all the time and I love it. Cheers from diet scotland

[@scooterdogg7580]

lol

[@BigBluenoser]

The Diet Coke of Scotland lol

[@sizzxrk]

Scotlite

[@AJPwny]

Scot-ish

[@yesssyeppp3852]

Fake Scotland like Quebec is fake France and the rest of Canada is fake England

[@coitusergosum2447]

Internet Historian did a video on Bonnet. Talk about a real-life meme

[@sirfer6969]

Your style of comedic, historically accurate story telling and brogue is priceless

[@WeirdPros]

So, does RAID: Shadow Legends just send him a wad of money with a note that says one thing: "AGAIN"

[@Fenris86]

Suggestion for Madlads: Felix Graf von Luckner. Ran away from home as a boy, served on several ships, was saved after being swept overboard by holding on to an albatross, worked as a boxer, kangaroo hunter and light house keeper (among others) and served in the Mexican army. Returned back to Germany and became an officer in the Imperial German Navy. Was at Jutland and later commanded a sailing ship as a commerce raider during WWI. Shipwrecked, captured by the British, escaped and captured again. Went on several goodwill voyages between the wars to the US and Australia where he showed off tearing phone books in half. Did not get along too well with the Nazis. Saved a Jewish woman by giving her a passport he had found. Negotiated the surrender of Halle to American forces and eventually retired to Sweden.

[@akramgimmini8165]

A real German Chad

[@randylahey8434]

Absolute Mad Lads: Andrew "What's up bruh?" Jackson.

[@killernanny4315]

Love Andrew Jackson. He was a based, straight-laced killer. Oh and he was the freakin PRESIDENT BABY

[@thekeyandthegate4093]

@@killernanny4315 Dude was based as hell. He saw the problems with the bank before anyone else.

[@Khornecussion]

I think of that one Korean woman that managed to get off without even being imprisoned. Built a fleet, had said fleet basically be the most loyal warband and then on top of that, was so powerful she terrorized every neighboring nation. I forgot her name, but she was a mad lass.

[@DaanSnqn]

But before we get into the Mad Lad: ... It's ya boy, Raid Shadow Legends.

[@Insecthouse]

Best Blackbeard account ive heard. I’ve also read that to increase his dark reputation amongst his closest crew , he’d get the cards and booze going below decks......then blow out all the candles and fire off blank pistols in the pitch black .... just to keep it tasty. ;D

[@oz_jones]

Goddamnit Ed, you get always like this when you drink Cuban rum...

[@mackdaly8331]

this is my states history and I love that he's talking about it

[@williamwilson9799]

Oregon here, i believe we've had a couple of mentions as well, though instead of the badass pirates, we have cults. But ayyy also db cooper.

[@floopusdoopus]

@@williamwilson9799 in Oregon/Washington we got DB Cooper, Sasquatch, Lewis, Clark and Sacajawea and the Oregon trail

[@MisdemeanorThoughts]

I watched this three times in a row. I truly appreciate your presentation and narration. Especially about the rogue, wild spirits of the not-so-long ago past. These were different times. And when even pirates had principals... it’s sad to know that they were more moral than some of today’s people.

[@QwertyUiop-bs2zr]

Well of course the first thing that comes to mind when you talk about pirates is Stede Bonet, the greatest pirate to ever exist. THE GENTLEMAN PIRATE

[@samaritan_sys]

"For if a man plays the fool, then it’s only fools he'll persuade--but appear to be the devil and all men will submit. Give your quarry something to fear, some hellish thing from a fevered dream, and men will fall to their knees, pleading for their Lord before aught else."

[@Left4Candy]

"Judge a man, Not by the colour of his swing, but how much booty he can bring"