Absolute Mad Lads - Ken Allen, The Hairy Houdini

[@alexanderwillis9032]

Ken Allen: its over Otis, I have the high ground "throws stone" Otis: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[@SvendleBerries]

Otis - (beats chest) "YOU UNDERESTIMATE MY POWER!"

[@lordtoppinghat]

SvendleBerries don’t try it otis

[@SvendleBerries]

@@lordtoppinghat Otis - (gets pelted with another rock) "I HATE YOU!"

[@fartcriminals9623]

😂

[@phylix132]

You both killing me 😂

[@bluefalconssuck5881]

He ain't dead... He learned to shave, got some tattoos, caught a flight to Scotland, and now makes MAD LAD videos on KZbin.

[@datensaft]

underrated

[@TheLadyDelirium]

@@Banana-rg9pz When I was a teenager you got an imaginary Chufty Badge

[@irritatedjedi5894]

I was thinking dank looks a little like an orangutan 🦧

[@fenriz218]

More so! Apparently he escaped with one of the females from the harem. They than raised a pug, which Ken taught to do a righted handed salute... for which he went to court for. These are indeed strange time, which we live in...

[@psychobear359]

He still hasn't mastered the shaving yet but the English is almost understandable

[@TheFemboyConnoisseur]

The virgin otis vs the chad ken allen

[@marcuskif]

🤣

[@MrEvan312]

I thought Dank was gonna say he was throwing his own shit down at Otis. Biggest chad in the zoo.

[@gunsr4fun117]

someone make a MEME of this right THE FUCK NOW!

[@mostlypeacefulrowan8747]

Otis ate the soy

[@sleepychicken6185]

1k likes but only few comments!? *IMPOSSIBLE*

[@oliverhilton6086]

_"Oh no! The Orangutan has escaped!"_ _"My god, what is he going to do?"_ _"He's gonna vibe with the visitors and take photos with them"_

[@Vollification]

Also the only time journos did the right thing. "Wholesome Ken has a nice day out. Nothing bad happend :D "

[@jabba2126]

And then look at all the animals

[@legbert123]

I mean hes a great fucking ape. He could rip the head off of a man like flipping a tab on a coke can.

[@CallanElliott]

@@jabba2126 That was the real reason, he didn't pay for a fucking ticket.

[@atomicskull6405]

They probably could have avoided this whole mess by having the zookeepers take him for an after hours walk around the zoo grounds once a week.

[@calemr]

Could'a made a ton of cash if they'd done it during people hours.

[@haven4304]

@@calemr by the same token, if there were ever any incident, no matter how slight, Ken could've ended up like Harambe

[@TheDeadAwesome]

@@calemr it's still a gaint liability. People are dumb and sometimes just look at animals as toys.

[@calemr]

@@TheDeadAwesome true. Sadly, even if an Orangutan can be trusted... Some people sure as hell can't.

[@mcuniboob]

Atomicskull or just buying copies of the toys from the nursery to put in his cage

[@SavoxYT]

When Otis died and went to heaven, you just know Ken Allen was waiting for him with a load of rocks.

[@ChaddeusThaddeus]

Ken allen awaited hanging off the top of the pearly gates

[@walesdoesntsuck6635]

Otis went straight to hell mate

[@HyperfixationWizard]

Nah, Otis is in hell and his punishment is that Ken throws rocks down from heaven at him.

[@thesaintlydead5094]

Otis is in hell and Ken can still throw rocks at him from heaven

[@swagcat7779]

Donken Kong

[@spudbuddy6390]

He may have escaped his mother, his baby cage, his rival and his own enclosure... but he'll never escape my heart.

[@rikishikato5001]

*OUR hearts

[@Hellsong89]

And death apparently, cause that would make him maddest of the lads! Orangutan escapes death, now 200y old and going :D

[@TheJanitorIsIn]

And his mortal coil

[@mattperkins261]

You cheesey CHEESEY bastard........ But it's true.

[@sumvs5992]

"If there's a foothold, there's a way out of Otis' enclosure. That fucking pussy ass bitch" - Ken Allen 1999 (colourised)

[@OVERKILL142]

I imagine ken with a DK tie every time you say “ken settled down and became a family man”

[@jackreid2664]

Yes

[@okbutwhocares]

The DK stands for "Dad Ken"

[@andrewskey3379]

Ken is monke Guile

[@stanstanstan2597]

And also a little bowler hat

[@kinetic3971]

@@andrewskey3379 who?

[@AkkadDaily]

I don't know why, but I never thought for a second that being a mad lad was restricted to being human.

[@contextuallyobligated5292]

Hey! Sargon!!

[@Chg267]

Rohan Luke oy vey

[@chris6969]

I read this in Sargon's voice

[@HeroSword_P]

@Rohan Luke oof

[@Chicomite]

Remember the "I Love You" virus, that thing was a madlad.

[@spartains5493]

Ken Allen never died. He just escaped permanently.

[@marcusaurelius6307]

Don't we all?

[@jonspreadthedread]

Deep bro. Too deep.

[@BottomlessCoffee.]

Tbh he probably faked his own death to escape.

[@vcislander2509]

😪

[@wickedraptor2651]

came for a mad lad, left with a soft heart and some feelies

[@faddedred4004]

best comment I have seen

[@mrtortoise3766]

To be fair if the orangutang that has escaped isn’t causing havoc it probably means that behind closed doors the animals are being treated well

[@alonedownthere47]

eh i bet if they let Otis out he would've been a little shit

[@CheeseCakeAwakesFTW]

Yeah true. They also spent a lot of money on keeping him instead of giving him off somewhere else.

[@emilygordbort7300]

If an animal as smart as an orangutan manages to escape and doesn't seek vengeance on someone in the zoo, that's a good zoo

[@Doctor-NOOOOOOOOOOO]

@@emilygordbort7300 Pretty sure he wanted to seek vengeance on a certain other orangutan...

[@emilygordbort7300]

@@Doctor-NOOOOOOOOOOO That's not the zoo, that's Otis being a loser

[@Shinwaable]

Sorry I'm late to the party but I'd just like to add: When Ken grew older and quit his escape attempts he amused himself by flipping off children. What an absolute legend.

[@HeilRay]

Shinwaable Ken was best dad, and best friend

[@BusbyBiscuits]

In fairness, he had to learn it from somewhere...

[@deadarmd]

Little kids deserve that every now and then

[@matthewmcallister9354]

Hes like a cool, crazy uncle I never got to meet...

[@NodDisciple1]

@@matthewmcallister9354 Yeah, I had a "uncle" that died at birth. It's weird.

[@AtticusTheDeathMetaller]

Since we are now going through Mad Lad territory to Animals. Let’s do one on Wojtek. The Brown Bear that carried Artillery shells to the Poles in WWII in Italy.

[@dillonleon5558]

He didn’t just carry them man he also loaded some of them

[@fhfhfhrtgrgfgfdrdhfhrdgfgf7512]

sergeant reckless > wojtek

[@craigrainbow7674]

@@fhfhfhrtgrgfgfdrdhfhrdgfgf7512 ahh another forgotten history fan I see.

[@AtticusTheDeathMetaller]

Gear Grinder51 he turned the tide!!!

[@Mate397]

Now that's something that would be a great video idea.

[@callmemeta9724]

Ken actually escaped a tenth time. When he did, God and all His angels welcomed Ken with thunderous applause.

[@HeilRay]

Happy ending. Now come the time when he breaks into Hell and escapes every time.

[@gingerbred2533]

This entire video got more and more depressing with every escape. Cannot believe we keep these ingenious creatures locked up.

[@dolphinboi-playmonsterranc9668]

He escaped heaven too, to kick the devil's and Otis's asses.

[@tylenol_jones]

i'm not crying, you're crying

[@MicrosoftNestleTea]

Ook (Catch me if you can.) *translator's note: Ken used several words we cannot broadcast on family TV*

[@cullen3323]

Ken: *escapes* Also ken: *5 star wanted level*

[@Wicked061]

LMAO.

[@Gyaruwitch4011]

SAME ENERGY

[@Lullan23]

I can only imagine Ken looking around the zoo at his fellow animals thinking: "Look at me boys. Look at what I can do. NO CAGE CAN CONTAIN ME. REAL KING OF THE JUNGLE HERE BOIS"

[@Leo17453]

"Look at them. They come to this place when they know it is not secure. Zookeepers use the keys, but they are mere supervisors. Only I, Ken, know the true power of escape."

[@Deadlock239]

He was the true king of the swingers, a zoo VIP.

[@dragonfire5568]

He finds out what it’s like to be human.

[@zyxaqc]

Zookeeper: "We found Ken." Ken Allen: "Shit, it's the fuzz. Book it!"

[@jackcanox4015]

Awesome XD

[@lukemitchell9183]

Underrated

[@anomaly7853]

*_GAS, GAS, GAS_*

[@FQP-7024]

I just got the Hot Fuzz theme drilling my ears, imagining Allen sprinting the fuck away from zookeepers

[@anthonycooke942]

This comment makes me laugh every time I see it

[@MrBrachiatingApe]

"Smart" and "enjoyed the company of humans". Two phrases you'll never hear used to describe the Scots.

[@herrikudo]

As a scots-irish american who hangs with many native scotsmen when gaming... i can verify the accuracy of this statement as a third party

[@Jansk1h]

You've just made an enemy fer life!

[@greasehole9158]

Go fuck yourself with sandpaper

[@TheTurinturumbar]

@@greasehole9158 you're not Scottish by any chance, are you?

[@Stormmblade]

Would have been so much better if dank omitted the fact that the video is about an orangutan. Keep people guessing, thinking it's some kid who was left behind at a zoo and raised by zookeepers hahaha

[@benthomason3307]

Ken allen is in heaven now. Not because he accepted Christ into his heart, but because he kept breaking out of hell.

[@dirtydanthesecretsauceman8519]

Monke always go to heaven. Monke pure.

[@voidwalker9746]

@@dirtydanthesecretsauceman8519 tell that to chimpanzees

[@dirtydanthesecretsauceman8519]

@@voidwalker9746 Chimps are not monke. Monke is monke.

[@AquaFan1998]

@@dirtydanthesecretsauceman8519 except otis, fuck otis

[@Outlawstar0198]

@Ben Thomason Underrated comment

[@evilroberto4024]

Harambee: entering heaven Ken Allen: Welcome my child

[@AtticusTheDeathMetaller]

Sighs *Whips dick out*

[@AtticusTheDeathMetaller]

TheInfectiousCadaver LMFAO!!!!

[@rolf6266]

@meme historian Son, Otis went somewhere a little warmer.

[@vulpesinculta7157]

@Noseberg Shekelstein shush

[@gnamewname8553]

Ken Allen entering heaven Papillon: welcome my son

[@alectrzaskowski6792]

The most wholesome Mad Lad yet. Had a smile on my face the whole time.

[@jackfahy2283]

Alec Trzaskowski is that supposed to be sexist huh? Not surprising coming from someone who watches a nazi like count dankula! Reported for hate speech !

[@Wolfeatface22]

Me two, until I heard about this Orangutan who I never met and only learned about had died years ago, and I felt legit choked up. Goddammit.

[@AstroLOW]

@@jackfahy2283 Genuinely not too sure if that's ironic or not 😂

[@jackfahy2283]

AstroLOW I’ll report your ass aswell buddy

[@mindyg7064]

@@jackfahy2283 Not if I report you first, you fucking loon... EDIT: Consider yourself reported. I know KZbin is leftist and SJW as hell, they've got it out for Dank and probably won't do anything to you, but let me assure you, I'll be following you from now on and I won't stop till I get you banned. About time you ideologues got a taste of your own medicine- you're not the only one who can bully people you don't agree with. Fuck off back under your rock and let the people go about their lives without the threat of a witch-hunt because you've got issues about your mum sucking all those cocks...

[@NonyaDamnbusiness]

Did the San Diego zookeepers never think to just walk him around the zoo after-hours once a week like he was a tourist himself? That way Ken Allen gets to hang around humans and see the other animals. Probably would have precluded him breaking out of his enclosure if they just gave him some "yard time".

[@iainparkhill630]

@From the Soil yeah he might wanna throw hands with fucking Otis that fucking bitch

[@FishLipznFatRipz]

I laughed way too hard at “yard time”

[@RobertWilkinsonJKekMaloy]

Thats what keeps inmates happy in prison.

[@redrumtm3435]

Should have taught him sign language so that he could communicate his needs. Must have been boring af for him living in such a restricted environment. The smarter you are, the more you suffer.

[@ianwallace3732]

Iball nonya Today they might have actually done live shows with him I frequently visit the San Diego zoo with my grandparents and they bring out all kinds of animals for shows and stuff

[@susanaalmeida593]

Everything about this sounds so made up which is why it’s so amazing to know that it’s all real. A super intelligent orangutan that can break out of any containment, teaches other orangutans how to escape and loves the company of humans but hates retards.

[@1337-Nathaniel]

"hates retards" that made me laugh

[@absolutelyyousless7605]

Ongr MtGA *he’s not wrong*

[@quinnholloway5400]

"Guck you Otis, you poop slinging fuck! Why not try rocks for once huh!?"

[@Ren21798]

they even steal local kayak and drive golf cart while flexing on tiger inside the cage

[@doopdoopdopdop7424]

Ultra Humanite but Ginger.

[@TheHylianJuggalo]

I want a Planet of The Apes where "The Son of Ken Allen" tries to broker a peace deal with humanity.

[@juliusmoe-nstar8942]

Smart and kind.... oh i'd cry like a bitch if it happened

[@Shitbird3249]

He’s totally the orangutan in the new series.

[@stevenbacon-cheddar9914]

I believe that he was partly the inspiration for the orangutan Maurice

[@The_Mimewar]

Are we sure he died? Was his “death” Just an elaborate plot?

[@dracofenix3860]

The SCP foundation took him to evaluate it´s sites security.

[@dimebagdarrel4874]

Investigate 7/11

[@hodge542]

"ken allen is not dead, he just went home"

[@wackojacko4580]

Investigate 7/11

[@lh757]

Wacko Jacko It’s not 7/11 it’s 3/11

[@frank_calvert]

"added females to his enclosure" o h n o "teaching the female orangutans how to escape" oh ok thats a lot more normal

[@PhyreI3ird]

What's not normal about some friendly orangutan bangin'?

[@quinnholloway5400]

He was a good husband

[@I_Is_Boredy]

@@PersimmonHurmo He should be after all how am I ganna get my extra fresh veil.

[@TheAmateurHobbyist29]

@@PersimmonHurmo I know I am

[@benmcgill2018]

He just wanted to escape so he could get some peace from them

[@kritsadventures]

I feel like at a certain level of intelligence, you have to treat an animal like a human.

[@slappybigalow8971]

Does that work in reverse?

[@kritsadventures]

@@slappybigalow8971 Probably

[@smokey3504]

I'm certain there are grown humans less inteligent than that Orangutan. The ability to speak does not automatically make us intelligent

[@lynnkay417]

I can't disagree

[@JustAboutToEat]

@@slappybigalow8971 it does. Some humans are kept in institutions sometimes. They can't vote and have care givers. Kind of like the zookeepers

[@Maddog3060]

When an orangutan is a nicer guy than all the manager-demanding Karens in the world.

[@emilygordbort7300]

Otis is the real Karen and Ken Allen was out there serving up justice

[@seosamh.forbes]

There are a lot of things out there better than a Karen.

[@Blutteufel]

Ask Julia Roberts how she feels about orangutans...

[@theblackcatvieweraccount5402]

Its not hard to be better than a Karen...

[@WeirdPros]

Ken: *Sees branch* "Ey Vikki, you wanna learn a magic trick?"

[@drinks1019]

Hey*

[@WeirdPros]

@@drinks1019 Overruled due to phonetics.

[@drinks1019]

Raymond Biskner do you pronounce “hey” like “eeeeee”???

[@rachard]

@@drinks1019 EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[@cyanicdream2218]

@@drinks1019 It's not serious bro it's gonna be okay 😂😂😂

[@goblinKappa]

Andrew Jackson would make for a good video, he dueled a lot of people, ruined the U.S. bank at the time, and also taught a parrot to swear.

[@slav1467]

I wanna see Teddy Roosevelt, the Manliest Man to ever Man in the history of the USA.

[@lxi..]

He legit challenged anybody who disrespected his wife to a duel. And won every single time

[@MadMattie107]

You missed the part where he fucking took Florida from the Spaniards without permission

[@Araaksa]

ruined the bank? Ruined?

[@MadMattie107]

He deleted the bank it was actually fucking hysterical in hindsight

[@Theendman42]

Ken’s in heaven, “Pfft, just another Cage.” He is currently working on escaping, he is expecting to be back on earth doing his thing by 2022.

[@dustingaethje1332]

His tombstone says "He's already working on his next escape"

[@Theendman42]

@@dustingaethje1332 I got word that he broke out of heaven successfully! Far ahead of schedule indeed! Unfortunately, he is invisible, so he's currently working on escaping reality, and then, for the first time ever, he will be going coming back of his own volition into our reality, in the flesh. And he'll be back to doing his thing sometime within 2022.

[@dustingaethje1332]

@@Theendman42 He never died, he just jumped into heaven to take selfies with God 🤣😂🤣

[@Theendman42]

@@dustingaethje1332 Otis can go fuck off, Ken is a million times the savage Otis was. Otis is sitting on a gray rock surrounded by deep fog crying in purgatory at the moment while Ken is tap dancing on the Throne of Heaven!

[@Theendman42]

@@PuttBlug69 Only the worthy can see him.

[@thegreywanderer8427]

I once visited Thailand with my family when I was a teenager. We went to a zoo and they had an orangutan at a cafe, posing for photos with tourists. My little brother and I went to get such a photo, and put arms over his shoulders, and he put his arms over ours. He would have liked to hug us much longer though; after the photo was taken he didn't want to let go until his handler yelled orders at him. I didn't learn about how these type of Asian zoos treat their animals until much later. If I had known, I'd have refused to go to the zoo entirely. But that orangutan was nice, calm and just wanted friendship.

[@mwvolkma]

The Grey Wanderer he was probably drugged tf up

[@WorldsWorstBoy]

He probably just wanted you to stay longer.... Sad.

[@fenriz218]

If you had been a little older, they would have perhaps let you go to one of those famous orangutan brothels in Indonesia. Apparently they even shave the "ladies" (if you get my drift)... like one guy once put it, "considering that they have very little education, those little bitches at least get to make a livin'..."

[@danpowers2398]

fenriz218 what the actual fuck did my eyes just see

[@tony_5156]

It’s fucked up, did you know if you try to expose Japan’s slaughtering of dolphins you will not be allowed to ensure the country if your not a citizen, and if you are a citizen they will slap you in jail for a long time? Ain’t so pretty now...

[@RJTrezise1983]

This actually made me sad. He just wanted his freedom... one sympathizes.

[@TheLadyDelirium]

Yeah he was really fighting for it. Poor wee soul.

[@Lakefront_Khan]

@@TheLadyDelirium "wee"

[@RJTrezise1983]

@John And Abbey yeah I understand that, but he still wanted to be free. I prefer dangerous freedom over peaceful captivity

[@RJTrezise1983]

@ yeah, maybe. I think sometimes we all just want to escape our enclosures and play around a little. I know I do.

[@TheLadyDelirium]

@@RJTrezise1983 Anyone that's been trapped mentally or physically knows its not a good feeling.

[@kiriyama777]

San Diego native here. You left out the part where he hurled a big rock through the glass window of his enclosure to escape once, so they had to install shatter proof glass. The next time he tried that the glass shattered but stayed in place, so they had the pane removed and turned into a coffee table which was sold at the gift shop as a 1 of 1 collector's item.

[@IronFreakV]

Wait, the media didn't blow Ken's story out of proportion and actually just told his story that he escaped and enjoyed his time out minding his own business? God that's pretty wholesome, Long live Ken Allen

[@kingcrafteroderderfahradtu7331]

They still kinda did. Just in the opposite direction

[@PurpleStormProductions]

Absolute Mad Lads: Wojtek, the smoking Polish Military bear. Make this happen.

[@funghiciabatta551]

Oh yes please

[@jcoop3619]

Facts

[@johnthepirate4295]

The polish artillery bear that ate cigs for shits and giggles and then because the shipping company wouldn’t let him on the boat because he wasn’t a soldier so the army recruited him ABSOLUE MAD LAD

[@viirus1362]

YES

[@greekswaglord-dathistoryla201]

No I'd rather he didn't do it because of how well known it is, that seams kinda wasted in my opinion

[@davebeat]

I wonder if Ken himself was the one who blocked the water pump to the moat.

[@jernie9384]

That would be fucking cool

[@TheLadyDelirium]

It wouldn't surpise me. Seems like an intelligent and mischievous orangutan.

[@spartan3924]

I feel like he would have done it again if he did it intentionally the first time and it worked

[@duke_of_destruction]

I thought about that too.

[@shawnkauffman5248]

I'd like to think that all of Ken's girls and kids are just sitting around their enclosure. Waiting for the keepers to become complacent, nodding at each other saying... soon.

[@simonwilliamnoelmurray9179]

Muahahaha

[@noahyoung9651]

Lucas Marçola Where will you be during the Random Chimp Event?

[@grugg3108]

The true Orang gang family

[@genericfakename8197]

Ken taking each defeat with calm grace was absolutely the best part of this story. What an amazing animal.

[@LegatoBlue]

I wouldn't even consider him just an animal bro outsmarted literal humans on multiple occasions

[@11andrewdenny11]

​@@LegatoBlueanimals often do

[@AverageAlien]

We are animals ​@@LegatoBlue

[@musicmanLPB]

Recommended Mad Lads: - Rasputin - Charles Bronson - Bobby Fischer - Jerry Lee Lewis - Elizabeth Bathory - Hunter S Thompson - Frank Abagnale Jr. - The band "Mayhem"

[@maotse-tung4438]

why jerry lee lewis?

[@musicmanLPB]

@@maotse-tung4438 1) Setting his piano on fire 2) Married his teenage cousin 3) Fired a machine gun over a group of people 4) Multiple attempts on killing people 5) Drove his car into Graceland and tried to shoot Elvis

[@TheStrayRM]

YES RASPUTIN & MAYHEM!

[@lemao_squash4486]

musicmanLPB why fischer? He was just a good player, who lost his mental stability near the end of his life.

[@musicmanLPB]

@@lemao_squash4486 That pretty much speaks to itself.

[@herpderp7264]

You think this is funny, do a mad lads on the honey badger “Stoffel” who breaks out of his enclosure to go and fight the lions or break into the zoo keepers house in the middle of the night. He even gets his gf honey badger to help him get out of the more elaborate enclosures. There is a 40 minute documentary on stoffel on YT and I laughed through the entire thing. He even would roll rocks into the corner of his enclosure to make a platform high enough to climb out. Honey badgers are incredibly intelligent.

[@Kil-Caustic]

And they don't give a fuck

[@MrEvan312]

FUCK YES I'd LOVE him to do Stoffel, I learned about him too (best 40 minutes of sleep I ever lost at 3am) and the funniest bit is that, for all his bluster and all the damage that crazy bastard did, he was "too tame" to be released into the wild. Stoffel's basically a real-life Taz from Looney Toons.

[@herpderp7264]

MrEvan312 yeah I should have elaborated a bit more on what Stoffle did. He broke out of his enclosure on 2 seperate occasions to go and fight the lions. Which meant getting out of his enclosure and then digging under an electric fence to get into the lions enclosure. First time he attacked the male lion and bloodied his face and the lions kept away from him. 2nd time he got in, the lions all ganged up on him and mauled him and stoffel needed months to recover. Then he started breaking out so he could break into his handlers house by smashing windows. Please do a mad lads on Stoffel Dank!

[@MrEvan312]

@@herpderp7264 He fought everything and anything that crossed his path. And it took so many tries to finally make his enclosure inescapable. Didn't he even climb out of his pen by heaping all of his dung in the corner so he could grab the wall top and haul himself up?

[@herpderp7264]

@@MrEvan312 No he used the rocks to pile them in a corner to get out, so they removed all the rocks from the enclosure. Then he started rolling the dirt in balls and piled it up in the corner to get out. You can even see him in the documentary using different objects to climb out. In the end the guy just put an electric fence around the top of the wall and it stopped.

[@johnpatterson8697]

I can visualize Ken Allen with his hands in his pockets looking at the other exhibits

[@Rico_71]

*interested orangutan noises*

[@stanstanstan2597]

He’s just looking at a giraffe, or a bear, or something, just thinking, “I don’t know what the hell this is, but I like it!”

[@joshuamills3917]

"I see why this place is so popular, they got interesting shit in here."

[@dr.davidgerstenaminoacidth2421]

It’s amazing that this story lives on. I wrote the song Ken Allen in 1985. I was interviewed about Ken Allen in 2024. Through the years many reporters wanted to know the deeper message of the song. I always said, “There is no deeper message,” But last year I pondered that question again and I had a better answer. Ken was very smart. If you live in a jungle, you use that brain power to create a better life in the jungle. But if you live in a cage, how do you exercise that brilliant mind? You carefully plan and execute escapes. Once you’ve escaped and been caught, that event is complete.

[@vjc2270]

👏👏Well done, Sir and thank you❣️ 🙏🤩

[@kathylgoedert]

Barenaked Ladies should have covered this song.

[@robertporter6683]

Thank you.

[@misakathememetic9268]

Some penguins in New York: “Write that down, Kowalski! Write that down!”

[@modus3493]

-ken settles down and becomes a family man and gets diagnoses with cancer after a life of escaping and trickery- *kens red dead redemption*

[@JohnMiller-zr8pl]

I haven't finished that game

[@chiefkeef74]

@@JohnMiller-zr8pl have you just been fishing?

[@stanstanstan2597]

I’m almost done with the story in the sequel, and I’ve been wanting to play the original, but I’d have to buy that expensive PS NOW membership. WHY WON’T YOU JUST LET ME GIVE YOU MY SIXTY DOLLARS, SONY.

[@revenant097]

I can only imagine his superior intellect was a result of some genetic anomaly. Maybe this was also why he was rejected by his mother.

[@sumboy6183]

Plz shoot me

[@FourOf92000]

i feel that

[@svetoslavtchorbanov2538]

Its purely socioeconomic factors

[@cowmoo5596]

@@svetoslavtchorbanov2538 based and apepilled

[@PalashaGabarra]

@@svetoslavtchorbanov2538 lmao

[@justsomebloke460]

"some birds just aren't meant to be caged" -Morgan Freeman in The Shawshank Redemption

[@Gustavo-vt5rk]

"And so, Ken Allen had given up.." *dankula starts smiling* Oh Yeah the arc ain't over

[@jayive34]

'Or so they thought!'

[@tylerwhite9923]

I'm an anthropology minor, and one of my professors has a background in primate studies. He told me about apes like Washo (who could use sign language, taught her kids sign language, and knew how to "read" magazines, point out things she saw, dress like a person and use makeup), and Chantek, who was raised by the head of the Anthropology dept, and hung around the University for like 15 years before he got sent to the Atlanta Zoo. The keepers told the tourists that he was signing things like "Hello", "I love you." "I love the zoo." etc...he was actually singing stuff like "Get me out of here." "Do you have a car?" and asking guests to get him human food. He also told me that these signing apes could remember the faces of their old handlers after decades, and referred to their non-signing brethren as things like "hairy orange dogs" to refer to other Orangutans.

[@Hegataro]

Considering the last part, with calling their non-signing bretheren "hairy orange dogs" Is that racism? Like, monkey racism? Or maybe not racism, just saying that the other apes are "below" them

[@tylerwhite9923]

@@Hegataro The latter, as I'm unsure if apes have a concept of race. Even human perception of "race" is a construct but I don't wanna open that can of worms on KZbin of all places.

[@HeirofDacia]

@@tylerwhite9923 Yeaaaaaaaaaaah, except it's not a construct, since you can see biological differences between different races (not just their skin colour, mind you)

[@Neostrius]

@@tylerwhite9923 Well they can probably immediately identify that they are different from Orangutans, but yeah, I doubt they understand it on a level that they would be trying to express hatred and/or superiority, but who knows? We underestimate animals all the time after all, and racism _is_ born from a very primal emotion that lacks in proper reasoning. Many people like to see animals as this pure existence, but they can be just as capable of cruelty as humans sometimes.

[@Wiggyam]

Spartan Revenant sure, but differences arent the same as race, you can tell the difference between someone with green eyes and blue, but its not a racial category

[@Vick_Squeeze]

“No!! You can’t just leave your enclosure whenever you want” “Haha funny human make noise”

[@cedricjacobs9030]

Chad Ken Allen vs Virgin zookeepers

[@Fire-Fox007]

😂

[@kagura7107]

This story is like a prequel to the Rise of the Planet of the Apes and depicts the origins of a secretive and overpowered side character that is yet to join the main ape of the original movie and the chimp revolution event in general. Something like if Heimdall was given a separate movie/game DLC from the Thor movies. Ken Allen is truly a mad lad 11/10 would pelt rocks at little bitches again.

[@doxscund8821]

Ken would most likely be a neutral loveable warlord with him and his harem teaching the Orangang basics of breaking confinement

[@stephenmason9527]

*AM I BEING DETAINED?* True story: my aunt lived in San Diego for 11 years and I used to always go to the zoo when I would visit her. This is the first Mad Lad that I've actually seen in person! By the way, to those may be doubtful, I can tell you that yes, he really was this popular.

[@scoobsmcdoo3471]

maybe one day they'll put shoko in a zoo.

[@chengzhou8711]

Anarcho-Orangutanism Level 50 Rogue Security Skill: 100

[@zaodedong9935]

Orang-Gang represent!

[@thelolleskiscave8717]

he be killing centrists in heaven

[@phosphoros60]

Hot Orangutan Lady: "So, should we... go to my place!" Ken: "Sure, just let me show you how to lockpick first!" *Years later* "These females could now not be put into another encloser, since Ken had shown them how to escape..." Well played, sir!

[@LowryYT]

Vicky:"ok let's wait for the zoo keeper" Ken:"no need, look"

[@Ingeb91]

Absolute player. It's impossible to remove his bitches, because he trained them in splinter cell-ing out of all kinds of lock ups.

[@Moldymessiah98]

Zookeepers: we've spent $40k on this escape proof enclosure, Ken Allen doesnt stand a chance! Lockpicking Orangutan: One is loose, small click out of 2, 3 is set, aaaaand we're out.

[@phosphoros60]

@@Moldymessiah98 Hackers: "I'm in!" Ken Allen: "I'm out!"

[@blippedyblop]

"It's the Daedra, you know".

[@HECKproductions]

imagine having beef with someone in school and next thing you know that person is haning outside the classroom window throwing rocks at you

[@BazilRat]

Ken Allen might not be a traditional 'lad' but... yeah, he's a Mad Lad.

[@levihamm6640]

Standard mad lads are 50/50 mad and lad, Ken got 80/20

[@Tajtusek]

Count Dankula looks like he is part of the Orangang himself.

[@juststeve5542]

I did wonder if they were related ;-)

[@Paid2Win]

Orangang, sounds like some weird ginger group

[@Moldymessiah98]

Zookeepers: we've spent $40k on this escape proof enclosure, Ken Allen doesnt stand a chance! Lockpicking Orangutan: One is loose, small click out of 2, 3 is set, aaaaand we're out.

[@badabomb9946]

I understood that reference.

[@hockeycrafter6086]

Nice LPL reference

[@cennamonzimt]

And now if we just put this magnet here... *click*

[@dlee255]

LMFAOOOOOO NICE

[@Gideon7014]

I don't get the reference

[@westleyd6406]

TL;DR Ken Allen tries to have a nice day out and instead has a jojo moment with Otis

[@robertwoods3871]

Fuck Otis

[@westleyd6406]

@@robertwoods3871 otis is a pussy ass bitch

[@fuzzynuttz5092]

@@westleyd6406 all my homies hate Otis

[@nerdking731]

You thought it was Dio, but it was me, Otis!

[@vanguardRailgun924]

Otis: Oh, You’re approaching me? Instead of running away you’re coming right at me? Ken Allen: I can’t throw rocks at you without getting closer. Otis: HO HO! Then get as close as you like!

[@morten7177]

Ken Allen to the zoo keepers: «None of you seem to understand: I’m not locked in here with you - YOU’RE LOCKED IN HERE WITH ME»

[@PressA2Die]

"None of you seem to understand: I'm not locked in here with you - I broke the window open, lets go"

[@FrozenPhotonX_X]

Absolute Mad Lads: Ned Kelly. The Aussie boi who wanted to go all Third Crusades with his gang on a train with the intent of making the most money in the history of all criminals.

[@TheKing60210]

He should also do Idi Amin. King of all beasts and seas lmao, he was also the Dictator of Uganda lmao

[@DeWah]

The Irishman who went on a rampage in Australia*

[@scottbruckner4653]

Third Crusade, my G?

[@FrozenPhotonX_X]

@@scottbruckner4653 The joke is that he had a suit of armor. He wanted to use it during a train heist to become the richest criminal in Australian history, but had to use it in a shootout with the police.

[@BulkernatorKerb]

Ned Kelly was not Irish he was born in Australia

[@0mn1flux]

Couldn't they just have him walk around for a couple of hours during weekends? Not only could they saved money, but also cashed in on the popularity

[@mrnopy6707]

An animal is always unpredictable. Anything could have happened. It would have been awesome but if he touches one person or hurts them even by mistake. Its over for the animal and a huge blow to the zoo.

[@snorgonofborkkad]

Way too dangerous. Just because he was chill doesn’t mean he’s not a wild animal. Plus, orangutans are strong as fuck. They could rip your arms off if they wanted to.

[@itakelemons3865]

Also adding to the above points, public is probably going to come too close it him. Kids would prolly annoy tf outta him and even a gentle natured orangutan would be pissed

[@merkules6]

Could've done that at night or some other time when visitors wouldn't be present. Just to see the animals and hang around. I mean his care takers would be trained professionals who could hang out with him.

[@lordlurk7968]

@@merkules6 Yeah, they could of at least attempted some reward/punish system with escorted freedom during closed/night hours. He seemed smart enough to understand the concept of be good and I get out and be bad I don't

[@lordferbus2970]

Dank's kids aren't gonna have regular bedtime stories He's just gonna pull out the script to a madlad video

[@bloodking73]

Do a madlad on wotjek the bear, the only bear officially enlisted into the military in ww2, and has a very interesting story

[@zaplord89]

Cher Ami would be a good addition to that story

[@nutbuttersammich]

Yes!

[@jackkenway1278]

He even ended up in scotland I believe, Edinburgh zoo

[@Stray_V310]

Anyone else get the feeling that this is just "WHOLESOME CONTENT" in disguise?

[@Pfeifenkraut]

Well the end is pretty sad.

[@kelvinkegel2304]

@@Pfeifenkraut everybody dies.

[@errantvice7335]

I can see Dank titling his memoir Absolute Mad Lads: Mark Meechan, and the opening dedication is an advert for raid shadow legends

[@FreggFaerie]

10/10 would buy

[@livedandletdie]

It's ya boi, Raid Shadow Legends.

[@ArionEquus]

I feel like they should have taken the day before, closed the park, and given Ken his very own guided tour around the place. Take him to see every attraction he could. He just wanted to see the world outside. As much business as he brought in. They could have done given him that sendoff. The PR would have been amazing from that as well.

[@haroldthaf]

Otis was snitching on Ken all the time to put his own gang back on top. Otis then lived in a calm arizona zoo as part of the witness protection program, authorities have denied any accusation of collusion ever since.

[@TheMarc1k1]

Trust that bitch to be a snitch, fuck Otis man.

[@themonki1826]

@Anirban Chakrabarti thats a bit too much man, too brutal

[@Legogunpro]

Hearing Count Dankula say "playing with his toys" is so satisfying for some reason.

[@w_wa]

i like this

[@ALLMETAL1970]

@@w_wa I don't

[@scotchedtape]

"The media.. was very kind to Ken Allen" I.. what..? The media... nice...?

[@SUMDude219]

It was a different time I guess

[@Andri474]

It was a better time in US history. Back when the media meant something.

[@HomersIlliad]

Back before the internet was around.

[@Noxims47314]

In another age when they still had hearts.

[@lsswappedcessna]

This was pre-2010.

[@smithy456]

If only this happened within the last 10 years, so it could have all been caught on video :( R.I.P. Hairy Houdini

[@jackcarter9861]

We wouldn't have that song though and blacks would just ruin all of this :(

[@neovenom9833]

Made me remind that joke about a cop finding a monkey. Cop: "Chief, we found a monkey what do we do with it?" Chief: "How should I know? Take him to the zoo." Cop:"Yes Sir!" 3 hours later, The cop has not returned, so his chief calls him Chief: "Where are you? have you been to the zoo yet?" Cop: "We sure did chief, and he had a great time, we are going to the movies next."

[@joescumbag5994]

Not funny Didn't laugh

[@msstarlight4770]

That's funny, thanks. 👍👍😄😄 I haven't heard that joke in a while.

[@neovenom9833]

​@@joescumbag5994 Thats because you're a Scumbag.🤣

[@cheekibreeki2electricbooga582]

Neo VeNoM Dud that was nice, not a laugh out loud one but just a ‘restoring my faith in humanity’ joke.

[@Dumbashe]

I thought this was gonna be a racism joke

[@tacticalgreengecko7369]

If I was the zoo keeper I'd let him walk around one last time.

[@happiestaku6646]

tactical green gecko I wish that happened myself.

[@fake1man175]

thank you. yes.

[@97SEMTEX]

I was thinking this exact thing, probably good reason why I'm not a zoo keeper.

[@happiestaku6646]

Seamusjim but you would be an excellent Zoo Keeper.

[@tacticalgreengecko7369]

@@happiestaku6646 obviously do it when it's closed for the night.

[@whynottalklikeapirat]

"Orang utan" incidentally, means "forest person" in Indonesian. Now you know. For a bit of context, if you are a discovery nerd "Orang Pendek" means "short person". See how that works? For yet another layer of context, "orange" in Indonesian is not "orang", even though that is the colour of many a grand orangutan. For the colour it's "oranye". For the fruit it's "jeruk". So you see - this game is difficult to win.

[@tincanmaniac1931]

My states zoo let's their animals wander around during quarantine, looking at the other exhibits. Most notably, they let the penguins do it.

[@Dimitri88888888]

What zoo is that?

[@sarafrankel5654]

nobody: Otis: you know i'm something of a sʜɪᴛʙᴀɢ myself

[@djwonderbrad]

Fuck Otis 🤣🤣🤣

[@Kjca_1998]

Fucking pussy ass bitch

[@mr.pissshivers]

I'll bet Ken would've cucked him, given the chance

[@MrOnay-px1jx]

Unfunny

[@Gustavo-vt5rk]

The Virgin Otis and The Chad Ken Allen. Seriously though, Ken Allen is the best animal I've ever heard of and its hard to say that when you taught a pug to do *quite the feat* I guess you could say.

[@jimmygatron9690]

The virgin Otis vs the Chad ken

[@thehaus6998]

Female hurengatend:Hello to you whats your name Ken allen:"Do YoU WaNt tO EsCaPe?"

[@aliveandwellinisrael7944]

Hah

[@Pigeon249]

Hurengatend?

[@smooothest]

Orangutan*

[@TheWorldWillNotEnd1]

How to did you misspell orangutan that bad?

[@JustAboutToEat]

@@TheWorldWillNotEnd1 my thought exactly 🤣😁🤣😅

[@jhhwild]

This story is perfect for a family friendly movie, I'm surprised Disney hasn't picked up the rights.

[@pondopondo1497]

It's about the system oppressing properly woke freedom loving beast. Disney hates smth like that

[@jhhwild]

@@pondopondo1497 Disney could change it to fit their values like they always do.

[@kittaylor1144]

He dies so it would upset Disney’s audience

[@jhhwild]

@@kittaylor1144 They've handled death before, and they don't even need to include that part, they can end it where he becomes a family man and no longer wants to escape.

[@adamsmiley3503]

Wouldn't be a madlads without yer boi raid shadow legends here

[@AegisREDflector]

The way he says, "It's ya boy--" actually makes me feel like I have a bond with Raid Shadow Legends. I'll still never play it, though.

[@marcose1137]

Lol same

[@combativeThinker]

I am thou... Thou art I... Thou hast established a new vow... It shall become the wings of rebellion That breaketh thy chains of captivity. With the birth of the Shill Persona I have obtained the winds of blessing that shall lead to freedom and new power...

[@combativeThinker]

**SMAAAASH** Rank 1: Grants money upon endorsing Raid: Shadow Legends.

[@storballen4449]

The story of Ken Allen warms my heart something fierce

[@chet-hy2js]

Yes, same.

[@trayceevalen2134]

"Cause they wanted to troll him." Imagine making a huge donation to a zoo...for the purpose of trolling your co-worker/employee. Poor Ken though. The keepers really handled him poorly. They should have embraced his intelligence & even could have profited from it. Give him a girlfriend & a special enclosure with mentally stimulating activities/toys etc. People would've loved to see him figuring out various tasks. Puzzles, art, building blocks & so on.

[@zacharymcmillan2788]

Typical egocentric human behavior,"We're smarter than that orangutan." Unfortunately they were not.😏

[@Dumbledoresarmy13]

Yeah I was wondering why they didn't do more stuff with him to show off how clever he was. After all, that seems to have been what drew people to the zoo after reading the articles.

[@endless3cho]

...I'm sure that's exactly how it went down. 🙄

[@zacharymcmillan2788]

@@endless3cho Gtfoh troll.

[@Ellie-vb9vm]

If it's any consolation, I've heard the San Diego Zoo now has enrichment activities for their animals. (Hidden foods, odd smells, toys, emotional support animals)

[@msbae]

Future Mad Lad episode ideas... - Alvin York - Audie Murphy - John Paul Jones (The U.S. Navy Captain, not the Bassist from Led Zeppelin) - John Bonham, the drummer from Led Zeppelin

[@thictiger3302]

I read audie Murphy’s book to “hell and back” and I must say that yes he should be made into a mad lad. Along with him Ernst jünger should get one to

[@billythekid4793]

Yes john paul jones.

[@Daladari]

John Paul Jones was absolutely a mad lad 🇺🇸

[@vernstein3877]

i'd love to see a mad lads about alvin york

[@heinrichrahm1531]

Add Franz Stigler to that list

[@onetwo3706]

Not even mad when Dank does ads, they're still funny comedy skits

[@Lil.Grandpa]

I like to think there's a gun off camera pointed at him. His laughter is his coping mechanism.

[@erikdahlgren6656]

Many do Raid chill, Danks is the only ones worth watching. Yeah his wife probably. So he don't slack off.

[@sandybell4913]

I genuinely think ken Allen was the first non human to reach the cognitive revolution

[@benthomason3307]

actually, great apes are already smart enough to be legally recognized as people in some countries, so Ken wouldn't actually be that far above average for an orangutan. still, it's comforting to know he managed to pass his genes on.

[@sandybell4913]

@@benthomason3307 uhhh by any chance would you happen to know what countries.... kinda want to move there now

[@benthomason3307]

@@sandybell4913 nope, though I'd imagine most of them are ones in which great apes actually live.

[@joelhernstrom6060]

@@benthomason3307 *extremely loud smug laughter*

[@doodlecaboodle9298]

@@benthomason3307 quit bullshitting buddy

[@66Rokers]

I'm not gonna lie, that Ken Allen song is actually really good.

[@cuntpuncherino]

Its catchy as fuck.

[@North33A]

I can dig it

[@Speknoz]

Reminds me of the octopus that used to live at the Seward Alaska Sea-Life Center. It escaped multiple times from it's enclosure. They found it once at the front door pulling down on the handle, before crash-bars were standard.

[@TheRealRusDaddy]

Iron Hands Terminator i went to a zoo in DFW with my art class and they had a restraut next to the lions cage and one of the lionesses lunged at my friend when we sitting next to the glass about a week or 2 after our trip there was a news article about one of the lionesses being killed by the other lions at that zoo

[@diran0]

This lad is absolutely mad. Definitely deserves to be on this list.

[@SnappleRyRy89]

Ken didn't die. He stole a runned down yacht, transformed it into an oil freighter, and picked up a shipwrecked crew with 2 Japanese punks, a French guy with long silver hair, a little Singaporean girl, a guy in red robes, and some buff old guy on their way to Egypt. Sure he spent a lot of time looking at playboy mags and eating apples, but he sure knew how to accommodate them even dressing up as a ship captain from time to time.

[@DukeofTxtspeak]

OOOOOOOOOOOOOH NOOOOOOOOOOHHHH

[@abyssstrider2547]

Why does that sound familiar as hell.

[@BlackJesus1998]

@@abyssstrider2547 it's a jojo reference, like everything else on this earth

[@abyssstrider2547]

@@BlackJesus1998 Probably....

[@synapse0]

@@abyssstrider2547 Strength.

[@JNJNJN1]

Wouldn’t it be easier to just give this boy a walk around the zoo every once and awhile when no one else is there?

[@sunhammer420]

My thoughts exactly. Who lets cookie cutter corporate concretefaced snob arse types in charge of sentient animals?

[@TrueCarthaginian]

I think the people and exhibits were a big part of the draw for Ken. If everything had been empty, he would still probably tried to escape to see the interesting stuff he could.

[@JNJNJN1]

TrueCarthaginian you’re probably right 😂 Ken is truly a mad lad

[@BigDave18]

When I saw chopper on RAID I instantly thought of the mad lad himself.

[@cmdrfrosty3985]

"Apes strong together"

[@Triplehdd]

*phrases you can hear*

[@Triplehdd]

That line makes me shed a tear each time

[@Fr4ncM]

Except Otis

[@DukeofTxtspeak]

"Alone, apes weak. Together, apes strong! OOH OOH OOH OOH OOH OOH OOH OOH OOH OOH OOH OOH OOH"

[@kylelawson2113]

Dankula, I think my uncle, Edward "Hacksaw" Jones would be a great candidate for Absolute Mad Lads. He was one of the most wanted men in America and escaped from prison 14 times. I really think his story should be more well known. Please reply to this comment, we can work out a way for me to send a copy of his autobiography to you. Please and thank you, Dank.

[@kanaka118446]

Any progress on this?

[@Connor-dl4hq]

I think this would be a great opportunity for a Madlad! Unfortunately, he more than likely has a plan to do several other people as well, but here’s to hoping your uncle gets put on that list as well!

[@marcusaurelius6307]

Absolute Mad Lads - Noel Marshall Subjects his family to working with a shit ton of lions just to make a movie

[@jacobzuma693]

Marcus Aurelius oh shit I heard about him like 4 years ago. Good idea

[@lh757]

JacobZuma69 There’s a good video by Cynical reviews about him

[@jacobzuma693]

L H nice one 🙌🏽

[@Bl4ckD0g]

Roar? RLM and Good Bad Flicks have civered that. Everyone was actually pretty willing to endanger themselves to show off the cats

[@gorefan4523]

the movie is called roar if anyone is wondering

[@OmgItsLeaa]

Rest easy Ken Allen, you legend.

[@RamonaAnne]

I used to go visit Ken Allen at the SD Zoo. He was my favorite animal there and I just loved his escapades. I'd go sit by his enclosure and watch him. He wasn't interested in adults that much but always came over to the window to look at kids. He seemed to like the kids and enjoy seeing them. I was sad when he died. He was very intelligent and managed to enjoy his life quite a bit, I think.