Absolute Mad Lads - War Machine

[@CountDankula]

Get 20% OFF + Free Shipping with code DANKULA at mnscpd.com/CountDankula #manscapedpartner

[@Locoinmysleep]

Oi you should do a mad lads video on either Henry Johnson or the entirety of the Harlem Hellfighters

[@The_Kiosk]

I love the music behind the product endorsement.

[@jamesbroughton7081]

My girlfriend won't thank me for using Manscaped. She's always been a quiet girl, partly because she's inflatable.

[@LeBarbare_LGCA]

ok GROOMER!

[@GodsCosmicBollock]

Have you heard of Adrian Carton de Wiart? Read the first paragraph of his Wikipedia page and I'm sure you'll agree he was an Absolute Mad Lad.

[@lumpisan]

The fact that a man named War Machine nearly beat a pornstar to death and was being chased down by a man named Dog The Bounty Hunter convinced me back in the day that we live in a comic book reality

[@Azraelseraphim]

I'd read that.

[@darksu6947]

@@Azraelseraphim Me too! If I knew how to read that is!

[@twistedyogert]

@@darksu6947 If you're illiterate how can you type?

[@sethapex9670]

Or a simulation.

[@dersuddeutschesumpf5444]

Dog the bounty hunter is a national treasure

[@channingtaintum]

War Machine is the kinda dude that would try to choke a book because he couldn't read it

[@Jacob_the_Dabbler]

*dramatically falls on the ground and opens the book putting it in an 'arm bar'*

[@eisbergsyndrom5010]

Gold.

[@jaydoe5654]

Wasn't he a biology major?

[@Eventual-Visitor]

Well, it seems that according to John choking was his gentile way of not braking every bone in your body.

[@ComicGladiator]

How dare you! I'll have you know that he finds books to be an excellent source of fibre and ruffage.

[@cymes82]

Whoever came up with a "Whore machine" deserves recognition. That's some high quality schoolbully stuff .

[@8or4_]

Sounds like something Colby Covington would come up with😂

[@Sizzlik]

He probably beat someones teeth out screaming "say my name!" And the guy mumbled "mmpf mwhore mafine"

[@urmom13st.]

Is it though? Lol

[@clintjanes3784]

Imagine telling 12 year old Dankula that his career would essentially be doing book reports on various things he actually found interesting. Hey, I like the vids.

[@anonony9081]

It is interesting that these book report style videos have become so popular on KZbin. Some people stretch ones about video games or tv series to pretty impressive lengths. It's great background content to listen to while doing something else

[@jacobbeaulieu335]

People will always be great at things they may have hated. Or do hate.

[@dime4026]

And reading the news like the msm he hates. While spending thousands of pounds on a legal battle he gave up on and never said a thing about again. Joined a political party then did nothing but complain it was too hard then left.

[@symmetrymilton4542]

Dream job no?

[@BalthzarSS]

"12 year old Dank, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is you'll make a career doing fun book reports and comedy..." "What's the bad news?" "M8 yer dug's a Nazi"

[@PlaskiJakDeska]

I love it when a "gamebred winner" and an "alpha male leader" can't handle not getting a Slurpie.

[@e69alpha]

"All I wanted was a pepsi

[@AGoatDemon98]

@@e69alpha and she wouldn't give it to me

[@scitechian]

Masculinity gurus usually come from pathetic backgrounds. Just a pattern I've noticed.

[@yew8707]

@@AGoatDemon98 just 1 pepsi!

[@thisisthelukas]

It's fuckin' RAIIIIINING. It's fuckin' COLD. XD

[@greg9136]

My father took his life when i was 11. Can confirm its screws you up. I wear his watch everyday as a reminder to never give up. Fixin to turn 30 here in a few months. Love ya dad!

[@finished6267]

Keep going man. I'm 50. Never thought I'd see 25! You're a good person.

[@tyrannuspatriarchus4303]

Keep strong brother

[@mistermeatcake1785]

This guy was just another violent brown person, his dad dying doesn't excuse the ape-like behaviour

[@r0br33r]

Wow, you glorify the *ultimate act of cowardice* - Looks like he failed in more ways than one! Another beta numale thrown to the wolves and resorting to female practices to cope!

[@greg9136]

@@r0br33r 🤡

[@Theendman42]

"He's always been hiding from me because he knows if I catch him I'll break his neck." -Ken Shamrock, what a legend.

[@bigmcdick4916]

”Most dangerous man in the world”

[@cristiansolano9491]

And he'd have good reason to do so given the story about war machine and Ken's daughter when he left her in Mexico

[@rabble_rousdower]

Him and Don Frye are two legends

[@Brawler22100]

Ken lost to kimbo slice who lost to a gay skinny guy with pink hair lmao you really think his old ass would take on a young war machine?

[@TheUltimateBastich]

@@rabble_rousdower I just wish Don Frye's life wasn't so horrible

[@desertfox7478]

Having "beef" with a bouncer at a gay bar is much different than an ordinary bouncer

[@marcusizayah]

How so? I’m not disagreeing, just interested in your opinion about this.

[@desertfox7478]

@@marcusizayah He might insert his physical beef into the metaphorical beef

[@GreyEagle_35]

​@@desertfox7478 😂😂😂

[@loganstroganoff1284]

​​@@desertfox7478ro there's almost no doubt in my mind war machine was bisexual or a rent boy at least. Straight dudes just don't work at gay bars as topless waiters. That little nugget if info makes me think his hyper aggressive nature was in part due to insecurity about his sexuality. The "hometown badass" where I'm from was a hothead amateur mma fighter very similar to war machine. He was caught in the bathroom stall of a local gay bar drunk as hell and getting dooked up the butt. I know this bc it was verified via picture. He left town and God knows where he is now.

[@gremblorthesackgoblin7953]

​@@loganstroganoff1284I mean you sriaght dude *_can_* work there, if theyre secure in the sexuality. Its a check. But a dude as insecure as this dipshit gives me second thoughts. He needs fucking shirts to announce he's "alpha"

[@L8P8]

Seeing a smiling Scottish man explain what an upper decker is with the masterpiece theater theme playing is a treat in mortal life lol.

[@OneOfTheLoveless]

I just assumed it was someone who liked upper deck.. But not too far off tho.

[@tomtheconqerur]

I first learned from the Alladin Deck enhancer AVGN review

[@3SCAPER00M13]

@@tomtheconqerur Oh no, I remember that.

[@tomtheconqerur]

@@3SCAPER00M13 he's gonna take you back to the past.

[@lsdude4205]

A guy named "Chad" gave War Machine the how-to for 4chan. That's just phenomenal.

[@compatriot852]

War Machine reminds me a ton of that one episode of South Park where Randy Marsh takes off his shirt and has drunken fights with everybody

[@theredking3070]

Oh what I thought this was America?

[@BoredInTheComments]

Fighting around the world with Russell Crowe

[@uhtred7860]

The one where Randy has a bro down with Stephen Sondheim always cracks me up, the way they circle each other with their arms out. :-)))

[@JewishMcFly-pg3mc]

"I didn't hear no bell.. oh I'm sorry I thought this was America pal" absolutely underrated episode

[@SelecaoOfMidas]

Ah, the Little League episode. 😂 That's a freaking South Park classic.

[@declanhuber4250]

I think Christy is honestly an underappreciated part of this story 18 broken bones, 12 missing teeth *and* a ruptured liver, and she still managed to get up, escape and call for help. That's absolutely incredible

[@Eventual-Visitor]

Adrenaline and survival instinct makes you be able to do incredible feats.

[@declanhuber4250]

@Delete Me It's about the extreme level of pain she was in. I'm not sure if I would've been able to get up if I had that much physical trauma. Especially to the head, I can't imagine 18 broken bones in the face leaves you with full motor functions

[@cthulhupthagn5771]

@@declanhuber4250 you're not wrong, but @delete me's comment made me laugh hard

[@contentcop]

Not the first time her insides have been mangled

[@e69alpha]

@@contentcop ho hooooooo

[@RaferJeffersonIII]

Who would have ever thought this guy could be a violent domestic abuser? It must have come as such a shock.

[@TheNemesis442]

he does alpha male shit

[@rorz999]

Lol

[@wilmer89]

imagine my shock

[@4m4n40]

His gf was in an abuse cycle and he has no history for beating up women aside from tmz alleging one. His gf was posing as happy. Not good enough evidence to guess he’s an abuser.

[@TheNemesis442]

@@4m4n40 if his girlfriend was in an abuse cycle, who do you think she was in the cycle with? another man, perhaps??

[@natemarx4999]

War Machine is the type of fella who would ask a grizzly bear if it wants to “step outside” and fight him. Prison is exactly where he belongs.

[@NostyFripples]

really cause hitting women seems to be his specialty

[@John.McMillan]

@Cornpop "Oh, you're stong? Oh no." *just shoots em*

[@GBomb9704]

If you see him fighting in the forest with a Grizzly Bear HELP THE BEAR!

[@nikola12nis]

Bloatlord would absolutely mogg him into afterlife. Actually, our Bloatlord wouldn't give him the pleasure, as he would be the bigger man in that situation. Yes.

[@MNM76543]

Did you know him personally Nate can I ask

[@chemistryofquestionablequa6252]

War Machine is the human personification of a monster energy drink...

[@MADVILLIAN777]

"He's going home to punch"

[@gandalf_thegrey]

*punches wall*

[@marshalmarshall2109]

his backstory is sad, but that dude deserves to be behind bars for life.

[@proudsaiyanprince2651]

He had the makings of a real world super hero origin. He chose a different path.

[@junnyjunojunners1465]

found maral

[@thisguyyoudontknow4653]

He smacked around a thot hardly a crime.

[@MFFNL]

Facts. I was worried this episode was, somehow, going to glorify him in one way, shape, or form.

[@yusufcagowayne1990]

@@MFFNL he did nothing Free him

[@thatTemplar9934]

Watching a Scotsman try and figure out shaving equipment is hilarious 😂😂

[@TheIncredibleAspie]

Gotta trim that Winter fur

[@borklazer5907]

It's like watching an ape in a zoo. Right down to just putting a bag on his face. I love it.

[@GhostLink92]

Isn't that what Claymores are for?

[@Azraelseraphim]

"What sorcery is this", said the hairy Scotsman.

[@ClickClack_Bam]

Ask a Scotsman to say "purple burglar alarm" & you'll laugh for hours.

[@scotcheggable]

"Sounds like self-defence to me" - Some absolute Chad cop

[@greenwizard7592]

I remember him being on the Ultimate Fighter. It’s crazy his coach Matt Serra could already tell that he had some issues.

[@whatisreddin7367]

Matt serras a smart guy

[@heretxc]

Well some people you just get a vibe

[@thegatorhator6822]

You kidding me? I reckon 10 minutes alone with the guy you could tell there is a few screws loose.

[@Lamedvavnik]

Lol well the signals weren’t exactly subtle

[@adriandabarber3996]

Me too! I remember him fighting johnny depp and johnny just slapping the shitout of him for around for 45 minutes straight while randomly snorting coke from various places he had prepared earlier. Luckily with a little makeup all that damage was hidden away and matt serra was able to make his appearence on the james cordon show looking like a sassy little go getter :D

[@joshwalker4399]

"Sounds like self defense to me" had me rolling

[@rorz999]

That cop was based

[@mikepalmer1971]

Ya that is the one incident where I think he was ok beating the crap,out of someone.

[@darkvisiongothacked]

@@mikepalmer1971 i mean some of them, if again we take it as 100% true(his side of the story), also dont bother me. but yeah there is clearly a LOT of incidents that its like "no this is not ok".

[@ashtremble]

I'm just imagining people in the court room having to say "Mr. Machine" in a professional manner lmfao

[@Khan.WrathOf]

out in the free world John was known as War-Machine behind bars, he's now known as Auto-blow

[@Ironbattlemace]

I think he can go pretty freely there if he doesn't end up fucking up with a gang. Being good fighter is pretty good thing ability to have in prison. But knowing he's intellect, he is probably "green lighted".

[@chadking8767]

@@Ironbattlemace i also watch prison youtubers

[@xehP]

I doubt he’ll be the one doing the blowing, he’s a talented fighter.

[@JustaCastle]

I think he’d probably be the pitcher, not the catcher

[@nickbeats285]

AUTO-COCKS ... BLOW OUT!

[@Sherudons]

It's funny how some random shitposter has a better history channel than the history channel.

[@joekaz5198]

Aliens bro

[@ferretwithagun9886]

He prefers the term fecal connoisseur. Shitposter sounds so uncivilized.

[@marcz2903]

The history channel couldn't compete with random people on the internet, so they decided to kamikaze their own ship, hoping that enough people would come around to gawk at the wreckage for them to get another ship to kamikaze.

[@authenticufo4822]

“Life’s great! I get paid to fight and fuck” - War Machine reiterated this from prison

[@4FYTfa8EjYHNXjChe8xs7xmC5pNEtz]

Fighting and fucking is probably not something to brag about when you're in prison

[@PhatphuckMedia]

War Machine feels like the kind of guy who thinks Mike Tyson has registered his hands as "lethal weapons"

[@tony_5156]

They are weapons of death he could have killed that guy in the plane and nobody would stop him

[@FM_SAINT]

@@tony_5156 but he didn’t dead him tho did he

[@natelax1367]

If I was Tyson I would do anything in my power to try to make that happen. I’d get pulled over and tell the cops I’m carrying an unsecured WMD in the car

[@sirapple589]

@@natelax1367 If you’re going to go that far, why limit it to your hands? Claim that your penis is a Weapon of Mass Destruction.

[@lescobrandon8045]

@@tony_5156 🤔 really? The guy on the plane was just meeting Darwin. The guy was provoking Tyson, I'm 100% fine with what he did, the guy got thumped a couple of good times. Shit, dude is luck Tyson wasn't 19 years old.

[@nathanheim248]

If "insecurity" were a person.

[@oz_jones]

_You wanna go, bro?_

[@nathanheim248]

@@oz_jones hahahahaha nice

[@notatrollll]

Literally crying saying “I DONT THINK ABOUT MY DAD AT ALLLLL”. So insecure. And insecure people can be very dangerous.

[@rutgerhauser2377]

Prolly shouldn't date pornstars then. Tbh most people shouldn't, even non insecure people.

[@urmom13st.]

It would be you, keyboard warrior

[@julmdamaslefttoe3559]

this went from "weird" to "hah" to "oh this is a joke of unit" to "I have had enough of society today"

[@MrCadet08]

FINALLY A CITADEL MADLAD, God every cadet in the corps hated him. He was expelled for going AWOL

[@fishboymanshark]

hi

[@loggen3870]

Yo that's alpha alright. Lmao

[@TheNemesis442]

i was wondering how you just take time off from being a cadet......it all makes sense now.

[@MrCadet08]

@@loggen3870 yeah but first battalion is always pretty chill. I am surprised the phsyco did not end up in Mike Reich, Hell Hotel or Stalag Echo with the rest of the corps' psychos

[@MrCadet08]

@@TheNemesis442 well if you skip any 10 classes in a year it is an automatic expulsion

[@Judgement_Kazzy]

Obviously it's a horrific situation, and I don't mean to make light of it in any way, but there's some kind of poetic irony to a guy this insecure trying to rape a woman and failing to get it up.

[@Lutherfoofer]

I'd love to see a mad lad video on Patrick Vince Coleman. A Canadian railway worker who gave his own life and saved over 300 people in the Halifax explosion by stopping an incoming train from entering the blast radius of the explosion

[@refundreplay]

I hate judging people by appearance, but I still do it occassiinally. This guy's look just screams "Big Douche Energy".

[@thesmilinggun-knight9646]

They say you shouldn’t judge a book by it front cover but sometimes what you see is what you get.

[@mcspikesky]

The confused but angry look in his eyes sells it

[@nobodycares743]

You could tell from the cauliflower ears

[@SBrown-ti8xe]

You should judge people based on appearance.

[@joeljanssonhernstrom1819]

@@nobodycares743 oi hold on now, the vadt majority martial artists are great guy. This fella just so happens to be an absolut shithead that has no business fighting.

[@Kalergi_Plan_Accelerationist]

Nice "mother", destroyed her own son's future... I'm not surprised about what he did. Edit: But tbh after the ending, he should be logged off.

[@thesmilinggun-knight9646]

The judge should have given this beast the death penalty for what did to his ex.

[@Kalergi_Plan_Accelerationist]

@@thesmilinggun-knight9646 Damn right, not a single sane persound would trespass his/her ex's house at 2AM. in the first place...

[@JohnDoe-jk3vv]

The apple didn't fall far from the tree

[@finished6267]

I'm still trying to get over my mom. It still hurts. I'm 50.

[@notatrollll]

Theres a point where every evil and bad person on earth has a sad backstory. They still have control over their actions and need to be responsible.

[@cristianespinal9917]

Dankula needs to do his entire next video in an "I do alpha male shit" t-shirt.

[@takazrael]

i love seeing dankula get to do an ad where he doesnt sound like hes being kept at gunpoint by the sponsor. one of the few i didnt skip

[@Baloo_The_Bear]

Just so you know KZbin keeps track of whether or not you skip ad segments and if you do the Creator will get less money.. I'm not saying that you should stop skipping them, you can make your own decisions, I'm just not sure how many people know that

[@Friggsdottir]

@@Baloo_The_Bear is that KZbin ads or ads within the video?

[@commissarvigil4806]

@@Friggsdottir nah sponsors, The watchtine during a segment can dictate the money

[@maskettaman1488]

@@commissarvigil4806 Maybe in rare cases but for the most part it's not expected for content creators to release statistics like that

[@Baloo_The_Bear]

@@Friggsdottir unfortunately it's kinda both, KZbin will track the out of video ads just by whether you click the skip ad button, and KZbin also monitors watch time, meaning they know the parts of the video you watched and KZbin can easily give that info to sponsors and use the stats to give the creator money accordingly, I'm sure that's not how it always works I just know it can and does in at least some cases

[@bluefalconssuck5881]

The most unkempt ginger Scottsman sponsored by Manscape... That's a good idea. 😂

[@ThinWhiteAxe]

Well clearly Manscaping saw him and thought "he could use some help"

[@tylerriddle7748]

His face may not be shaved but then again manscape isn't just for ur face 😆

[@josephbrown4768]

Not gonna lie, I'm such a Dank fan I'd be inclined to buy it anyway. Lol.

[@invisibleman4827]

Her tattoo calling her his 'property' should've rung some alarm bells already.

[@CoreyIsTheName]

My mom died of a massive heart attack while sitting next to me on the couch when I was 16. Very traumatic and horrible. This dude is using his trauma to excuse his horrible way of life. Bad man.

[@spookyspacekuck7885]

@@ghostinthecrawlspace agreed, everyone experiences trauma differently. Comparing one trauma to another doesn't help the situation. What he did was monstrous, but he wasn't always a monster.

[@finished6267]

Not really. You just sat there.

[@hugocanuto6981]

Why are you comparing traumatic experiences like that, saying like losing your father/mother figure prematurely is something everyone can cope, that shit will fuck you for life, and even after that he had to deal with his mom and step father bs

[@niqerfaguettranykyke]

@@hugocanuto6981 but to cope with that trauma through unfiltered rage and violence says also alot about him and the fact that he didnt get the help that he needed.

[@sevenproxies4255]

There are epic, good Mad Lads... And there are evil Mad Lads. This one is certainly one of the latter.

[@BriGuyIT]

Yep, add a few billion dollars to this story and you're on your way to Uday Hussein territory.

[@nathanrichards9379]

Dank you have got to look up the ash street shootout of 1989. It was 15 US army rangers having a barbecue at a house vs several members of the crips. Definite mad lad material.

[@kaithai8886]

Popomedic made a video on it and it was very good

[@rorz999]

And now he's done it!

[@stevepalpatine2828]

15 Rangers shooting and still zero Crip KIA. Should have sent the Marines instead. Jk. Love the Rangers.

[@RunningItHellRazor]

Damn. He watched his dad die in his own hands... Thats alot for a kid.

[@Eidolon1andOnly]

I've met War Machine several times when I lived in San Diego. One of his buddies bummed a cigarette from me once. Dude has a weird energy about him.

[@thevigilante5623]

Can totally see that

[@themedia1271]

I mean he had nonconesual sex with and then attempted to murder his ex-girlfriend so I would also assume that he has a weird energy.

[@Eidolon1andOnly]

@@themedia1271 Your comment has been shadow banned.

[@Eidolon1andOnly]

Need an example of weird energy? So one of the last times I've seen him was on a Wednesday back in the 2010s? or sometime around there, and it was in Ocean Beach (community in San Diego) outside a local hamburger place called Hodad's, and every Wednesday Ocean Beach ahas a farmer's market and closes off parts of Newport Avenue (main drag of the community and Hodad's is on the edge of that closed off section). The farmer's market is noisy and loud wirh all the people, tourists, and live musicians. Something happened where a drunk dude walking out of Hodad's bumped into or stepped on War Machine's foot. War Machine flipped so loudly and blatantly it seemed like the entire farmer's market fell silent. I have never heard so many people shut up at the same time. War Machine's entourage or whatever did convince him to just leave and go somewhere else because the San Diego Police frequent/patrol the Ocean Beach Farmer's Market. Imagine a dude throwing such a fit and creating such a scene that a busily packed beach in a huge tourist city practically fell dead silent. Now to give a bit of context to San Diego's beaches, Pacific Beach and Mission Beach are beach communities mostly in dead center of San Diego, and they're bordering one another and they mostly attract the college and navy people, party communities essentially, Ocean Beach is due south of Mission Beach separated by the San Diego river which exits to the Pacific. Ocean Beach is the hippie community, mostly stoners, surfers, hippies, homeless, or all the above and super chill mostly. So when a huge public brawl was about to happen in that community it really was a spectacle. Mostly I saw him around Pacific Beach and Mission Beach. My personal interactions with him have been limited but he was very polite and he always seemed to be on an upper because he spoke crazy fast, shifting topics, and kinda scatterbrained. He is domineering and will easily take over a conversation, but for the most part he was pleasant to be around. He's intense with everything he does. Hard to describe other than intense.

[@Eidolon1andOnly]

@@themedia1271 At least I can still see your comment in my notifications, but I bet if you replaced the R word with something like "nonconsensual intercourse" it won't get shadow banned.

[@SolidMike84]

"So it seems that War Machine is now a born again christian." Makes me think of a Jim Cornette quote: "That’s generally because I’ve noticed, people in this business that find God do so when everybody else hates them so bad they won’t speak to ’em.”

[@zfoolish]

Ok, Now let's cover Charles Bronson. The man so dangerous that he stays in prison for a good time

[@mapleflag6518]

Except he’s more sympathetic than War Machine.

[@haydnr01]

Mike Tyson 100% deserves a mad lads

[@samuelsanders8380]

Why didn't he get one before this dbag

[@Tony36271]

And John Mcafee

[@dwigg7700]

Dennis “the worm” Rodman

[@Wicked061]

Yeah. Tyson is actually a good human being. "Madlad" doesnt have to mean "evil or bad"

[@mitchellsayshi]

@@Tony36271 holy shit for real, what a lunatic he is

[@yanfei7782]

Today, I learned that the face has at least 18 bones. And today, you learned that your face has a free floating bone that keeps your tongue in place, it's the only free floating bone in your entire body.

[@Koozomec]

WM goes a long way to just tell he was an unchecked bully since kindergarden.

[@justinlast2lastharder749]

Nothing will ever top the "Let me Bang, Bro. They won't let me Bang" moment from any season of The Ultimate Fighter.

[@matthiasthulman4058]

Was that him? I remember that vaguely

[@donovanb9020]

@@matthiasthulman4058 nah. The dudes name is Julian Lane lol. Iirc it was on the Koscheck vs GSP season of TUF.

[@matthiasthulman4058]

@@donovanb9020 I just remembered him crying hysterically about that and then the cup a fart episode. Dudes are unhinged man

[@motojauntx]

This is a sad story but the comedy is brilliant. “MY DAD DOESN’T LOVE ME” 😅

[@Quarterspine143]

I find it hilarious Dank got sponsored by Manscaped while his hair crawls from his scalp and going everywhere else.

[@imperfectlump6070]

My hair is moving south for the winter too. It just happens.

[@zombiefinatic7033]

Man imaging getting bullied online by a Chinese Handmade Airplane Nanosculptures forum is just amazing

[@90boyle]

The look Rogan gives Jamie at 32:40 is amazing.

[@rorz999]

Haven't watched yet but I hope you mention the time that 4chan almost convinced him to delete 'System 32' from his PC Edit: you mentioned it! Legend

[@jkee9760]

They were the ones who convinced him to punch himself in the face

[@pauldickson3455]

That's not real surely

[@Wazboom]

@@pauldickson3455 oh but it is, and don’t call me Shirley

[@xehP]

No fucking way that was a thing 😂

[@Wicked061]

Good times.

[@dannybailes3948]

He’s a menace and belongs in prison. I have known lots of people like this. It’s always everyone else’s fault and never his. Personal accountability is a trait far too many people miss.

[@turgburger]

My dad was involved with the MMA seen back in the early days and he has a few stories from it. From having dinner with Eddie bravo and Joe Rogan, to starting a bar fight with Spencer Fisher. He told me the one time that he feared for his life was when he had to talk war machine out of beating the shit out of his friend.

[@RosieJonesRules]

Back in the day, memeing this guy on the Misc was all the rage. Good times

[@Sjcstro84]

You mirin? Please reply

[@nicehorn5250]

Thick. Solid. Tight.

[@UpperNileGuy]

Misc is so dogshit these days so sad

[@mareczek00713]

Shame, really. His dad not dying keeping a parental figure in his life, him not being asked to resuscitate his father to skip PTSD, shit, even his mom not spending his cash being a junkie... Kinda scary how circumstances can turn a really nice guy he seems in normal conversations to a shithead piece of trash he turned into due to his temper he never had to chance to learn to control.

[@Azraelseraphim]

Alpha Males are just broken men coping hard over mommy and daddy trauma.

[@TigerstarLoL]

I actually believe that he is a product of his environment. I legitimately do think he could've been at the very least a functioning member of society. But I'm going to be real with you, if I found out my mom used my dad's pension on drugs instead of my tuition, I feel like the lasting damage would've also fucked me up down the line too. What he did was unexcusable, but I can at the very least see /why/ it happened.

[@basedjulius4565]

None of it matters, you chose the way you act, he‘s fucked because that‘s just the way it is

[@launcherx2044]

@@basedjulius4565 that's not how that works buddy having a parental figure and no ptsd definitely sets you up to be a more productive member of society. Could he have been? yes, but it would've taken a tremendous amount of effort on his part and he just wasn't strong enough

[@elgringofeo9348]

All I see was a man losing his father and causing him to try to hard to be a man, shame, he could've been a good man and a hace peace of mind

[@MG-jd6kt]

As far as I know Christie jumped out of a second story window. She crawled almost a block with her injuries, including a broken leg from the jump. Strongest person I’ve ever heard of.

[@Ellie-vb9vm]

^^^^

[@oz_jones]

Adrenaline is helluva drug.

[@saberhap2639]

She must have really wanted to keep doing porn.

[@DarthSidian]

When you're hopped up on adrenaline, and doing something crazy is the difference between life and death, you will do things you never thought possible. What she did is nothing unique, but still an incredible display of what adrenaline can do.

[@I_HATE_THE_TOS]

@@DarthSidianYou can literally boil anything humans do down to chemicals in the body

[@killzinshadows3767]

Well maybe if you know you're the jealous type don't date a porn star ! I mean common sense🤷‍♂️

[@SentientDMT]

John was not a smart lad

[@stinkfinga4918]

Maybe if you're a pornstar don't date the jealous type

[@mikepalmer1971]

No shit. That is what I was thinking. Lol.

[@breathofdifferentair1950]

When I first heard this story the details of his dad were left out. He's still a POS but people with trauma usually act out if they don't get help

[@handlemchandleton3255]

I feel like the trauma mixed with those meds and steroids cocktail he was on must've done a real number on his brain and probably some heavy CTE from the street fights POS regardless tho

[@AAG414]

the fact that the police basically let John go after beating the hell out of his dad... AWESOME.

[@-xirx-]

...or not.

[@jaydoe5654]

drug addict, criminal, Step Dad, who stole his money for his future. NOT his Dad at all.

[@jimmcphearson7252]

@@-xirx- Why not? John was a piece if shit in most of life, but seems like simple cause and effect to me. What did his scumbag mom and stepdad think would happen if they blew his dead dad's money on drugs?

[@bloodwrage]

Step dad. His real dad was the reason he was let go

[@notatrollll]

I mean, hard to believe anything this guy ever said, hes always right and everyone else is wrong. From the cops let him go for self defense, to the cops beat the shit out of him and he didnt do anything wrong. There is far more to the story on both im sure

[@burntgrahamcracker2866]

Can already tell this is going to be thorough from the video length. It’s a sad case all things considered, no sympathy for what he did mind but it’s one of those things were a collection of issues ruins a life. Been interested ever since the Jim can’t swim video.

[@ItWasRevealedToMeInMyDreams]

@4CHAN CHUD youtube copyright sh!t got to him, im pretty sure at least.

[@Subscribeordye]

@4CHAN CHUD Majority benind pay wall due to copyright usually

[@harjasdhariwal5960]

I am watching count dankula for a lot of time by now. I hope count dankula actually becomes a count HEIL DANKE SCHUN

[@cdr8031]

We!l, he needs only an O than he becomes a Count 😂

[@wadephillips3887]

With established titles, you too can become royalty

[@TomoyoTatar]

Me too.

[@JaxMerrick]

@@wadephillips3887 And I read that in Quartering's voice.

[@MaxxwellPalone]

@@cdr8031 Fucking brilliant

[@Ifraneljadida]

The Corey guy is super lucky he didn't get killed. I do MMA and workout but I definitely relate more to that guy. If War machine breaks into the room I'm screwed. I'd have to dedicate my life to fighting to be able to at least not die

[@callumaldridge4790]

awesome video!! i suggest you do an AML on Gypsy Rose Blanchard, the girl who was forced to pretend to be disabled by her mentally unstable mother for charity cheques, but then ended up getting her online bf to come and murder her so they could run away together, theres a great series on amazon prime callled 'The Act' which tells (a dramatized version of) her story

[@driprubies2464]

Fuck that’s a tragic story, that’s a mad lad-y episode for sure!

[@kevinmorrice]

Quack quack

[@fbichan9418]

Reminds me of my mother except I escaped and is finally happy without the blood

[@camojoe83]

Hell, he should do one on the woman that started the whole "Rowe v Wade" court decision here in the states.

[@eagle_and_the_dragon]

If his junkie mother didn't spend his money, he might have stayed in school. The slope really is slippery.

[@mikepalmer1971]

Maybe so. But this behavior is in him. It may have been checked but sooner or later he would of done something. But I could be wrong.

[@finished6267]

His mother had him.

[@crypto1upteam750]

Lol he would have been holding a gun for the navy. Hows that a better ending lmao

[@thediaz07]

16:47 that was a nice reversal when War Machine tries to take down the dude confronting him just to get thrown aside.

[@jaanuspapp1333]

Please do a madlads on Sir Carton De Wiart, The Unkillable Solider. He joined the army to fight in the second boer war under a fake identity cause he was too young at the time, got shot in the stomach and groin was sent back home and later sayied if the british hadnt accepted him, he would have joined the boer army cause he had a blast there. he also continued his military career and also fought in the first WW1 where he got shot twice in the head and lost his left eye in africa, then went to fight in the western front, got shot in the head again, shot in the leg, shot in the torso, and injured his hand when a artillery shell exploded near him, then later in the hospital, when the doctors refused to amputate his fingers, he just pulled them off himself, but latter the hand had to be removed anyway due to a infection. He then continued to fight, being reported throwing granades rambo style, with one hand and pulling the pin out with his teeth. he also earned a victoria cross in ww1 for his valour. after the war ended he was deployed to poland to be a observer in the poland soviet war, where he defended a train single handedly with his revolver, fighting off a group of red cavalry men. he then retired from the military in 1923 and spent 15 years living and hunting in his polish friends mansion and massive 500,000-acre property. then WW2 kicked off and he joined the military again and was forced to escape poland. he was then deployed to fight in norway wich was unfortunatelly lost. after that he was deployed to yugoslavia to aid a certain other madlad Josip Broz Tito but he never made it there since his plane crashed and he was captured by the italians where he spent 2 years in a pow camp. in that pow camp he had 4 unsuccesful escape attempts and one some what succesful one, where he and some other prisoners spent 7 months tunneling out, after he had escaped he spent 8 day evading capture by being disguised as a italian peasant, despite not knowing italian, wearing a eye patch, only having one hand and being 61 YEARS OLD, 60 FUCKING 1. he was then released from that camp in 1943 due to italy wanting to switch sides. he was then sent to china and south east asia as churchill's personall representetive, where he stayed till his retirement in 1947, he didnt really like china and really didnt like mao zedong and communism. after his retirement he moved to ireland and wrote his autobiography "Happy Odyssey" where he wrote that he ENJOYED THE FIRST WORLD WAR AND HAD A LOT OF FUN THERE. he died in 1963 at the age of 83 in his sleep, cause death was too bloody scared of coming after him before. what a fuckin madlad he his, the madest of lads even in my personal opinion. edit: the man wasnt just shot alot, he also survived 5 plane crashes and has a sabaton song made of him

[@finished6267]

47, you say?

[@Anon_E_Muss]

Yes please, the things this man survived are incredible. I'd live to see dankula's take on it.

[@invisibleman4827]

Yes absolutely!!! I was thinking the same thing!!!

[@Sparky10MV]

Get this to him quick!

[@davidodonovan1699]

I loved that manscaped advert. It's brilliant, funny, and yet we all know it's important. Even if you are as lazy as I am, just think of it as preparation for your honeymoon, prom, or whenever fancy occasion...then think of it as putting in some effort into your relationship...which is very important to a Happy relationship.

[@bloodaonadeline8346]

if women showed even a slight interest in spending time with me it’s definitely something i’d put an effort into.

[@rorz999]

@@dordly yeah it sucks

[@davidodonovan1699]

@@dordly I have never bought their products, but I did once nice my testicular sack, slightly, trying to shave them with my regular electric razor, and that was scary, when I noticed the nick. Not because it did ant real damage, but because it's literally the skin thing that holds my ability to father children.

[@manschooled227]

So basically this mans whole career is dependent on "Hey, hold my beer and watch this". Fucking love it.

[@kar12894]

wait so if he had a kid, the last name would be machine? there are endless possibilities here

[@stinkfinga4918]

Bill Machine sounds rad

[@RambleOn07]

Richard machine

[@JackParsons2]

Ice Machine

[@heikkiremes5661]

Chad Machine

[@matthewbrown3981]

I lost all sympathy after hearing what he did to that poor girl Christy, so glad she got away. What a bloody monster.

[@MrManBuzz]

Yeah, I'm not exactly a gun nut, but in situations like that, I can't help but think it may have stopping things from getting to that point. Of course, in the real world where shit it messy, it may have just made it worse if he somehow got a hold of the gun but still.

[@caidurkan2916]

@@MrManBuzz I dunno, imo the hypothetical scenario where she has a gun to hand is still pretty dangerous. Sure if she shoots him and he goes down, that's one less abusive prick on planet earth and a lengthy stay in hospital avoid, nice shot. If she misses though I would not put it past this guy to double down and get even more violent as a response. This might sound ridiculous but there's always the possibility that she wouldn't actually use it on him cause of the prior relationship or just not wanting to shoot another human being but this is all hypothetical and just my dumb opinion(I mean if it were me I'd shoot the mf).

[@qiff6667]

@@brentharlow3559 😅😆

[@John-kc4cg]

It wasn't that bad, A: she was a whoah B: it was the roids, should have never started with that

[@Tuck-Shop]

@@John-kc4cg A: Doesn't matter. B: he chose to do them. His choice, his responsibility.

[@theheck5176]

This made me "investigate", laugh and sad. Very good story telling! Dank you!

[@WilfChadwick]

He sounds quite demented but one positive about his sense of decency, at least he isn't so low as to sht in someone's bed.

[@kerim.peardon5551]

LOL. Yes, he did at least keep it in the toilet.

[@phoivos]

@@kerim.peardon5551 The upper deck of the toilet, but in the toilet nonetheless!

[@saybrowt]

@@phoivos Tbh that was just a funny prank

[@finished6267]

She's a real MAD LAD.

[@mccor002]

Nah, 4chan lost once. To Pitbull of all people. He's still a legend in Kodiak, Alaska apparently

[@kavemanthewoodbutcher]

Can you elaborate? I'm to lazy to Google lolz

[@mccor002]

@@kavemanthewoodbutcher TL;DR, 4chan rigged an internet poll to send Pitbull to the most remote Walmart in the US, and he did it.

[@jimmyrussel5606]

@@kavemanthewoodbutcher Pitbull had a competition to vote where he should hold a concert, so 4Chan rigged the vote so he would have it in Kodiak, Alaska. A town of only ~6000 people. Pitbull found out they rigged the vote, but still went ahead with the concert/promotion. Not really a loss to 4chan, I’d look it as a win/win for everyone involved.

[@richardhands904]

@@kavemanthewoodbutcher pitbull had a vote about which us state he would go to, for a free gigg. 4Chan put in the work to get him to go to Kodiak in Alaska. To which pitbull went and performed.

[@cwm6203]

@@richardhands904 how is that a defeat?

[@jacobtiger964]

I can relate at 17 I preformed cpr on my father after he suffered a massive stroke that 20 mins later in the ER a doctor told me that my last ditch effort to save my father was pointless due to the extent of brain damage from a massive stroke

[@Dunmerdog]

Jesus bro. I’m sorry. At least you know that you couldn’t have done anything more, and that it’s not your fault

[@Hope-Truth-Light]

R.I.P. sorry for your loss my friend

[@OmegaJager]

I immediately thought of another Mad Lad called The Ultimate Warrior. He was a wrestler that actually changed his name to "Warrior" due to him wanting to fight copyright as well. He's not as brutal as Warmachine, but Warrior has done some funny shit that I think would be a potential Mad Lad.

[@nathanielleack4842]

His promos are the stuff of legend

[@OmegaJager]

@@nathanielleack4842 full of class, and destrucity!

[@scantrontheimmortal]

@@OmegaJager "The Fuck is Destrucity?!?"-Famous Oklahoma Hat Man

[@jimmyrussel5606]

Loved watching Warrior, Hulk Hogan and Macho Man back in the day. Was so awesome.

[@kingnothing5706]

After his issues with WWE over the Andre video, it's safe to assume Dank never covers another American wrestler again.

[@SeeDVicious]

As the video started, i swear i was thinking: "please be the 4chan guy, please be the 4chan guy". And low and behold it is the 4chan guy. Thanks for the full story! Excelent.

[@plantain.1739]

In fairness, it's not like it's hard to troll a guy when you're using the death of his father. If they just called him gay I'd get it more honestly.

[@SeeDVicious]

@@plantain.1739 i don't aprove of how they did what they did, but i remember when it happened and all i got from it is that 4chan beat up a UFC guy remotely. I knew they made fun of him because of the girlfriend, didn't know abou the dad situation, hence i'm happy that i now know the full story

[@jellydamgood]

So he got reamed by his mom and turned into the creature he was by the end. Damn, absolute shocker, unbelievable. How could this happen.

[@BestWayKilla]

A little context about the season of The Ultimate Fighter upon which War Machine appeared, as well as the aftermath of it, from an MMA fan: -He immediately stood out for his weird, head-case attitude which always seemed detached from everything around him, although I'd say he was no more douchey and meatheaded than the rest of the cast on average. -He suffered from an almost pathological lack of self-confidence, and seemed to find ways to get upset and depressed about just about anything. His coach, Matt Serra, who did a great job and otherwise connected with most of his other fighters, tried his best to keep him grounded and motivated, though to what extent he succeeded, only Jon himself knows. -He did start to garner more of a sympathetic following by his openness about his rough past, which at least gave him more of a human side, although how much it affected him, and how much he seemed to be governed by his emotional state, can be looked at as one of the real big red flags to his later erratic behavior. -His fight on the show saw him come very close to beating Tommy Speer, one of the eventual finalists, hurting him and cutting him badly with a big punch early and getting his back and nearly submitting him (arguably seeming to get him to tap at one point), but not being able to finish and being gassed out for the rest of the fight, ultimately losing a decision. He actually took this loss quite well, all things considered. -The "upper decker" incident was the kind of usual sophomoric prank for ratings that was commonplace on early seasons of TUF, and the scuffle that ensued with J-Roc afterwards made a fight at the finale pretty obvious, although even in the immediate aftermath of the incident, the two made up very quickly and didn't seem to have any legitimate beef with each other. -His win at the finale was in the second-best fight of the night (only upstaged by the main event), and he did seem to have quite a bit of promise going forward. This is where his story peaks, and it's all downhill from here. -The loss to Yoshida was a televised prelim on the UFC 84 card shown on Spike TV, which was where he wasn't referred to by his nickname, ultimately prompting the abrupt name change to "War Machine". It's also worth nothing that he got choked unconscious in the fight, his last appearance in the UFC. -From here, the pattern of arrests and aggressive, belligerent v-logs begins in earnest, with not too long going by at any point without some kind of run-in with the law or some incident leading to violence occurring. -His next big notable moment came after the death of former UFC middleweight champion Evan Tanner, which he, via his MySpace page (which he was very active on, I recall following him on there back in the day), infamously insinuated was a suicide due to Tanner's declining career and relevance. This is where a lot of people soured on him, and he lost most of the goodwill he'd built up through his stint on TUF. -For my own part, i next recall him resurfacing in Bellator, the UFC's main stateside competition, now dating Christy Mack, and having a decent start, followed by mixed results. And then, a few years later, the shit hit the fan.

[@camojoe83]

Imagine caring that much. Simp.

[@booboo7502]

Thank you for taking the time to share this timeline and details. I appreciate it. 🙏

[@BestWayKilla]

@@booboo7502 No problem, happy to help add a little context and fill in some of the blanks.

[@starstruckp4808]

The moment you hear 4chan, you better grab out your favorite shack, because entertainment is going to different heights.

[@dabtican4953]

I don't own a shack

[@cloroxusthestainlessone4324]

@@dabtican4953 a shed or porta pottie will do as a good substitute

[@Edith_Puthie96]

A villain and former MMA fighter with a tragic back story by the name of War Machine brutally beats a pornstar and her lover then is then chased down by a man named "Dog the Bounty Hunter" The 2010s were not real.

[@SonOfTheLion]

I watched this guy on the Ultimate Fighter back in the day. He had the look. That was about it.

[@Johhny_B]

You must not have watched his fight with Rollins because he showed incredible heart and determination to win in a real back and forth war.

[@camojoe83]

Fake ass show.

[@hugocanuto6981]

@@Johhny_B he had the motivation and hunger to be great, truly a sad story of wasted potential

[@orangeblitz4786]

Awesome to hear Ken Shamrock name dropped in a video. He was one of my favorite wrestlers as a kid. The guy is awesome.

[@jacobstaten2366]

How the Hell does he have a blog in jail? Instagram?! He's basically the straight, MMA version of Aaron Hernandez.

[@Teguranch]

Just want manscaped to know that I am literally already a customer and i almost always skip thru dankula’s ad reads but he was so entertaining i watched the whole thing anyways. Not sure if that means you wasted money on advertising to someone who is already a customer or that your sponsorship was so successful you got current customers to watch your ads anyways My balls thank you

[@yawhat8261]

I'm only 6 minutes in but the way his dad passed is almost the same way my friends dad passed away late last year. It's a sad reminder that stuff like this can happen to anyone and makes me feel even more proud of my friend for being able to move past such a traumatic experience without changing completely

[@CornbreadOracle]

Many years ago I dated a guy whose father died in his arms under very similar circumstances. We were young and it had only been a few years since it happened. From what I remember it messed up the whole family. Older brother (my old boyfriend) became an extreme over achiever to try to provide for his mom, while the younger brother languished into juvenile delinquency.

[@freddrog4689]

laughing at the thought of this guy being called into the doctors office with "Excuse me Mr. Machine the doctor will see you now"

[@Acesahn]

If only Warmachine found out about 4chan earlier in life... he could have vented all his ugliness to where it belonged. Don't fight the 4chan, join it.

[@Guitar-Dog]

Zozzle

[@Guitar-Dog]

You just sound cringe tho

[@Acesahn]

@@Guitar-Dog Thankfully I only expose my cringe out onto the internet where it belongs.

[@derekosterholm1350]

War machine is a good example of what happens when a man child never learns how to grow up

[@MATCHLESS789]

I don't know, I know plenty of people who never grew up and none of them are violent psychos.

[@jimmyvoss3190]

He’s the type of guy that has a bad attitude especially for being in prison! No respect! Gets butthurt way too easy over dumb shit! I Don’t care how good of a fighter he is! He not having a good time in prison!

[@randylahey8101]

Thought this was about "Lightning" Lee Murray at first. Could easily be a mad lad.

[@AnfieldCat420]

Oh man, I've been preaching the good word of "upper deckers" for ages. Bless you, Dank...

[@Big_Buddy_Nubbs]

The editors are fucking gold! I love the fact he signs off on their shitposting in his videos lmao

[@DoctorKalkyl]

"4chan stands undefeated" Amen.

[@asktellm8k664]

The Wrestler in TNA is most likely 'The War Machine' Ryhno. ECW Legend

[@Ed-wu1xy]

32:30 I find it funny that people think that being pro-cop and pro govn't is the definition of a republican. They're pro law and order, and as far as being 'pro government'... They're pro-America. Then again, most fighters aren't mental heavyweights.

[@John-kc4cg]

4-chan, powerful enough to beat a man up over the internet. Very nice, lets see Reddits power

[@BakeASnake]

Shiiii, reddit be bein weak af

[@dodo19923]

"We MakE fUnNy mEmE PeoPlE On rEdDiT,.... hHOw pOwerfUl ArE WE HUh"... Meanwhile in the corner 4chan sniggers and whispers "Amateurs".

[@lordadorable7362]

@@dodo19923 never seen anyone on reddit brag about that type of thing, honestly.

[@shiniliin]

reddit is the guy who thinks he can “talk someone” out of firing a gun

[@andrewniles1]

Count Dankula is clean shaven from the waist down.

[@pranjalvashistha56]

just clicked on the video because the title "war machine" just sounded cool to me but now i know much more about this madlad . keep up the good work :).