Steven Seagal: Certified Tough Guy - JonTron

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Crew:
Jon Jafari - Director/Editor
Sergio Torres - Director of Photography/Line Producer
Mike Butler - Gaffer/Photography
Lewis Bown - Editor/Writer
Charlotte Jafari - Production Designer

[@JonTronShow]

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[@stardustmonkey4302]

R a i d

[@cheese790]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[@samuelthehobo4441]

Raid Shadow Leggings

[@smeckledeckle6573]

No, i don't think i will.

[@Tallmonster2]

No

[@masteryoda5793]

Steven Seagal knows karate, aikido, taek wondo, jiu jitsu and many other dangerous words.

[@hollow8194]

"So how did you learn aikido?" *I started learning karate at a young age* I would actually love to see this dude having his mask broken. I want to see what he really is like but it feels like he's acting all the time

[@obamabinladen7234]

@@hollow8194 He probably learnt karate at a McDojo

[@masterspongebat2387]

😅😅😅

[@himdotcom]

😂 You won.

[@alfredthegreatkingofwessex6838]

Hahahaha

[@RandyCivilized]

I bet Seagal will see this. He seems like the type of guy to Google himself pretty often.

[@jokerhere4504]

Apparently that isn’t too far off

[@skull-chan7703]

Weren’t he one of those guys that couldn’t handle people making fun of him in the past? not like Tom Cruise level but still pretty sensitive.

[@CircumcisionIsChildAbuse]

his mannerisms reminds me A LOT of Trump....super full of himself and not very bright.

[@Gogglesofkrome]

@Chef_Hogan Your intuition is not far off the mark

[@saltyspitoon5089]

Skull-chan yeah, there’s a story on KZbin with an actor (I can’t remember his name at the moment). But the sum of it is, he laughed at Steven trying to be a hard ass and Steven hit him against a wall. You can find the story it’s not hard to find at all

[@WhatIsMatter101]

There are some things Seagal hasn't done yet: A)Stay in shape. B)Make a good movie. C)Keep it real.

[@GregoryAlanBaileygamereviews]

Steven Seagal knows karate, aikido, taek wondo, jiu jitsu and many other dangerous words.

[@ApolloSniperman]

“You’re here to shoot the child, but only the child with the weapon” Never fails to crack me up 😂

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

''Don't make me do this!''

[@tinobemellow]

Out of all the hilarious things in this video, it had to be the statement about shooting a kid.

[@GregoryAlanBaileygamereviews]

Steven Seagal knows karate, aikido, taek wondo, jiu jitsu and many other dangerous words.

[@raiden1766]

@@MinscFromBaldursGate92 You boy of 12, with the shotgun, unhand your weapon! (slides down aggressively)

[@damntony1]

He genuinely looks like a custom character in a cutscene when he's with putin

[@therebel7865]

All I have to say is 12:49

[@EbolaSquirrel]

Spy

[@nrtouge]

Helo spy teeftoo

[@therebel7865]

@@nrtouge SPAH SAPING MA SENTRY

[@krysmrug6478]

He looks like a skin i downloaded for gta san andreas from gamebanana when i was a kid

[@Tetsuo0]

He's like that kid in school who has kept lying his way throughout the whole year but since he's too far in now he can't back out

[@bunbunette]

Legit kept thinking "it's like a mom's basement dweller kid found how to bullshit his way into Hollywood because he's the edgiest guy out there"

[@Ails1234]

Are you saying Steven Seagal is going to run for president?

[@animewoobovo5964]

@@Ails1234 yes exactly

[@boodledemic6430]

Sounds like democrat politicians lol

[@rafaelleone678]

"look at the way he cleans those dishes. Dude!"

[@michaelskipper3375]

Seagall's coke nail killed me. Even funnier with the snorts he kept making during the interview because the bump he took. Dude probably thinks he has tigers blood

[@Dovah21]

I was just browsing the comment section hoping that somebody else had pointed this out 😆

[@jamesrosewell9081]

Coke nail?

[@michaelskipper3375]

@jamesrosewell9081 it is a fingernail that some people that snort nose suger grow out so that they just scoop it with the nail and snort it. You can pick it up when it is just one long fingernail

[@retropocalypse1984]

He has been growing that coke nail since Under Siege

[@GregoryAlanBaileygamereviews]

Steven Seagal knows karate, aikido, taek wondo, jiu jitsu and many other dangerous words.

[@TheRandomZachChannel]

I’m really questioning whether or not Seagal is really good at lying or if he actually believes his own bullshit.

[@pvt.prinny759]

Definetly not self- aware atleast

[@daviddamasceno6063]

Yes

[@benitoswagolini3410]

He's lied so many times that he believes his own lies

[@mrcritical6751]

He’s insecure about looking weak because he got bullied as a kid and has asthma apparently

[@2thomask]

hes in too deep

[@SanctuaryReintegrate]

He's basically that kid in middle school who took one karate lesson and became an expert on the art of war, except he's been doing it his whole life, and everyone just rolls with it for some reason.

[@thenumber102k]

This man has probably been to mars and back because there were no dojos

[@stupidpremades1447]

because he has money

[@adude4491]

Nah man this guy has been debunked a long time ago. Everyone knows he’s a fraud

[@america8706]

We just wanna know what he's gonna do next.

[@mistermatix8241]

Yes that is so true, he is that kid

[@W4RY3NTRY]

Steven Seagal seems like the kind of guy who lied his way to everything and got too deep that he can’t turn back lol

[@Ratchet130]

Glad someone else thinks so as well. Lol

[@Ratchet130]

@@PunMister Which "anime" might that be, boss? Lmao

[@notatrollll]

Pun Mister care to share?

[@mad4song01]

Penile Necrosis he’s more like Mr. Satan from Dragon Ball Z.

[@raketnyamuk9458]

I think this is what's actualy happen

[@alejandroalf729]

Nobody makes fun of Steven Seagal better than Steven Seagal.

[@theend1555]

The hugging and posing for photos with dictators really says the most about him

[@Soulraven2735]

What's next, is he going to open CPAC with Victor Orban?

[@sweethysteria8737]

I agree But To be fair, when it comes to dictators, being impolite can have really fatal consequences But considering he signed up to meet with them that doesn’t really apply But if I saw one in public I’d probably just nod before running away

[@Robb1977]

Me, being an average, curious, non celebrity person... i feel like if i had the possibility of (safely) meeting some of histories most terrible and great people up close: id kinda want to. Like, if i could meet Ghandi, Putin, Stalin, Washington, Robespierre, Francis of Assisi, Saladin... just to get a greater sense of what humanity is. Are these people really any different than the average person when you just sit down for tea? Is their evil/greatness they cause by circumstantial ambition? but wanting to meet dictators just because you're famous and you have some ancestry that loosely ties you to those regions makes you kinda weird and icky.

[@Robb1977]

@@Thalesium thanks for understanding, and thanks for noticing my error!

[@A_Stereotypical_Guy]

​@@Soulraven2735you do realize cpac is pretty anti government right?

[@samu7353]

Jon, blink twice if Raid: Shadow Legends has your family.

[@kfconsoleenthusiast4992]

Me:blinks twice

[@SoftDistorsions]

Sam U oh god I was thinking the exact same thing. WE NEED TO HELP JON! Aaaaahhhh

[@mr.burnsgaming8985]

4

[@calebkujawa2324]

John needs our help

[@patrickbasedman5255]

The games shit dude but still a man has gotta do something to get money.

[@baconsir1159]

Segal acts like he’s going through a mid-life crisis, but that’s his whole personality

[@puppet1show626]

r/rareinsults ?

[@MrCompassionate01]

Agreed, Segal has been in a mid life crisis his entire life

[@AngelaMerici12]

Good description!

[@doublebassman123]

Ya but Hard To Kill is pretty cool tbh.

[@grantlynn1659]

Dude. You just gave the perfect description I didn’t know existed

[@JDubOnTheLowdown]

I think the most underrated part of this video is how Jon nailed how weirdly Seagal runs.

[@rudir6826]

Bruhhh that sheriff pounding his fingers on the table had me dying😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@comixproviderftw_02]

Raid Shadow Legends sponsorships are the closest we'll ever get to Jon doing Game Reviews again. Update: I really love Jon's new videos, just thought I'd bring it up. Update #2: I wouldn’t be surprised if Russia makes a movie about the invasion in the Ukraine and they get Steven Seagal as the Russian “hero” of the movie.

[@itriggerpeople4433]

Sad but true

[@Ganjiel]

The truth hurts

[@myhairisverypoofy7741]

😔

[@user-sh4jk5pk6e]

He’s lost the edge he had when he was younger, man. Changed style too. Just compare his videos from the beginning with these now. Still happy that he still churns out content though. Edit: Full stop

[@itriggerpeople4433]

@@user-sh4jk5pk6e true, he's inspired a lot of KZbinrs to spawn similar styles

[@chrishandsome4267]

Sometimes it boggles my mind that Steven Seagal is a real person. He’s like a character from South Park that came to life

[@Ehzvarious]

Steven Segal in South Park is equally as ridiculous.

[@pjishomo]

STEVEN SEBOOM BOOM

[@lt187]

Steven Seagal is in a South park episode

[@Ehzvarious]

@@lt187 Season 19 episode "Safe Space".

[@narcleptik]

Sooo true

[@Snowbird2701]

14:33 Seagal has proven to be the living example of the quote "The lights are on but nobody's home"

[@ZedNull.]

He "doesnt think jean claude is a martial artist" meanwhile jean claude is an actual certified black belt, fought on the Belgian karate team and won the European professional karate associations middleweight title, he literally beat the worlds 2nd best karate fighter at one point. This guy is smoking that copium for sure.

[@vendriksondoesthings7911]

He was a martial artist however he let that go when his fame and ego got to him and now he's a sham hiding behind his former glory

[@christmaslanterns6425]

@@vendriksondoesthings7911 I found Steven Seagal in the comments guys

[@GregoryAlanBaileygamereviews]

Steven Seagal knows karate, aikido, taek wondo, jiu jitsu and many other dangerous words.

[@LeeSixTwenty]

Plus Van Damme got to be in a Mortal Kombat game.

[@BiriBiri925]

Apparently, Steven Seagal got to Jon and took revenge on him.

[@kennynegron3291]

What happened to this guy I only watched his flex tape one did he quit KZbin

[@mikewalker9057]

@@kennynegron3291 nah he just as huge spaces between his uploads that’s all

[@kynsilok]

@@mikewalker9057 he uploaded last December for that golden Adsense so he might suprise us this year. We will see

[@chuckn4851]

@@kynsilok I'm honestly hoping for another Tim Allen Christmas movie special

[@MrFrigginAwsome]

Let him out to do a goddamn shitty mobile game ad.

[@nickelakon5369]

Steven Seagal honestly seems like a character who would be on the simpsons or something as a parody of holywood martial artists

[@macharper5352]

Hes on an episode of southpark thats about him being a pussy amd needing a safespace 😂

[@reversezoom4285]

@@macharper5352 lol i was about to say that

[@barelyinsane4642]

Johnny Bravo had the best spoof version of Steven Seagal.

[@karlrosal5891]

L

[@MrNatedunkin]

South Park baby

[@seanomygod]

We need a part two to the epic saga of Steven Segal. Definitely gotta bring up the infamous pants pooping incident that he vehemently denies to this day.

[@robertcortez4956]

This comment opens up a lot of questions.

[@atomicgummygod9232]

@@robertcortez4956tldr, story goes, on set, he claimed he could get out of any chokehold in front of his stunt coordinator, who was a judo expert. They set up the chokehold, he tried and failed to get out of it, passing out and shitting his pants in process.

[@ZombieEnthusiast69]

The whole chopsticks in the guns bit almost killed me, my lawyers will be in contact soon.

[@nooneinparticular5273]

Steven Seagal is the coolest, toughest, most talented and interesting person in the world, according to Steven Seagal.

[@googlepoodle5814]

The Steven Seagal when Harry Met Sally skit on SNL is a gem if you haven’t seen it

[@reginald8228]

Yet he looks like an absolute and complete mong

[@gerbmcnuggets5466]

And dangerously high in saturated fat and fructose

[@newguy371]

He's nowhere near as cool as RAID: SHADOW LEGENDS!

[@Briguy164]

*sniff*

[@kimbonice]

The fact that Steven Seagal learned martial arts from a short order cook in a back alley explains EVERYTHING.

[@oksomynameisjeff4212]

seems like he's the type of guy who'll copy any movie he sees

[@itwasidio1736]

Despite being a fake martial artist, he's still had good acting in some movies. His current endeavors are questionable, though. Least he's not getting cancelled.

[@borsemusic9928]

That doesn't mean anything just someone's a short order cook doesn't mean they can't know martial arts you can't define somebody by their job title

[@wolffang489]

@@borsemusic9928 True but when the result is Steven Seagal it all starts adding up.

[@lordginger636]

When you say it like that it sounds like you are saying he isn't a real tough guy, better watch your back lol

[@kevinsundelin8639]

Here's a translation of his singing "Now that you're gon' have to see I got $700, baby You ain't gon' remember me" And then "Everybody knows I'm here!"

[@guldi3]

It's kinda funny that your parody of steven is much more sympathetic than the real one.

[@bondburney9136]

I feel Steven Seagal is almost doing a better job parodying himself than Jontron

[@KCzz15]

I dunno man, Jontron does a pretty mean job of parodying himself too.

[@remlezar9397]

This does feel watered down. Diet Jontron.

[@kylesoler4139]

He is like a GTA Character IRL.

[@bubbles8871]

Keyword: _Almost_

[@justanotherperson7774]

God Bless Your Perfection

[@Leon-zu1wp]

Steven Seagal the type of guy who has a girlfriend at a different school.

[@megavidaeos]

A really really hot one, according to him.

[@juanokug4]

@@megavidaeos we haven't seen any pictures yet, but i trust him, he seems pretty happy with the relationship

[@OakNuggins]

Couldnt have said it better.

[@guprh7481]

Terrifyingly accurate

[@TimThomason]

Correct. I met up with him just last week, and he told me all about his new girlfriend at the local high school.

[@ALookIntoTheEulenspiegel]

11:56 If you look closely, he basically did hit Steven's bullet hole, but he probably pretended like it wasn't close enough, because that would mean that his trainee is as good of a shooter as him.

[@overlordghs1081]

Also, the guy was “training” actually had better control and trigger discipline over his weapon and probably shot better. Steven everytime he shot would jump the gun which is when you pull the gun up before pulling the trigger, thus affecting your shot. Dude is just a fraud.

[@rinzler9775]

Segal is perhaps the most legendary Green Beret Ranger Special Forces Navy Seal Federal Investigator that ever lived.

[@Dumbledoresarmy13]

He's kinda like Buzz Lightyear at the beginning of Toy Story when he thinks he's legitimately a space ranger because it said so on his box

[@bubblesbelmont5603]

If you try to tell him other ways, all it will say on your box is your name, date if birth and death date.

[@NyctoPhobia197]

So this video is basically a irl version of toy story where Steven seagal is buzz lightyear and Jontron is woody and it's called guy story?

[@buzzlightyear3120]

To infinity and beyond

[@bubblesbelmont5603]

@@TorusLotus he is the pandemic's minion

[@xxalex423xx]

@@TorusLotus nah buzz cand do a karate chop and fall with style

[@bondburney9136]

I've always felt that Steven Seagal is a parody of himself.

[@MrLunithy]

Like Meat Loaf

[@HellyHydesSBWOPage2Movie]

BondBurney.

[@rickv9180]

Well, after he sold himself for the Russians, he is indeed a parody of himself

[@mrcritical6751]

Pretty sure he’s a Family Guy cutaway that somehow gained sentience, escaped the cartoon world and killed/replaced the real Steven Segal

[@xmlviking12]

aaronsdavis two scoops

[@silverrubymoon3574]

6:49 Never heard Jon laugh like that before

[@extenduss]

Steven Seagal is like that kid on the playground who makes up crazy stories about himself. he insists that he fought a dinosaur and won

[@pgreg8528]

No one gonna mention that Putin actually speaks english, but refused to speak english with Seagal?

[@mohammadalbader3538]

Oh vlad does this with everyone, unless it's something important then he'll just use a translator

[@Mamenber]

It's pretty hard to express yourself on the same level in a foreign language than in a native language, unless you have a speech prepared. Also, you'd probably expect someone who calls themselves a Russian to speak Russian.

[@mohammadalbader3538]

The page I read basically said that he only spoke English during trips to English speaking nations for political reasons

[@pgreg8528]

@@mohammadalbader3538 still, that means he is able to. We should also remember that Putin has no normal background, wasn't He in the KGB? Surely people there learn languages.

[@scottwilliams645]

@@pgreg8528 I believe he was either a KGB agent or leader

[@huyrhfyftug4921]

The best way to finish an interview : "sir, are you armed right now " "yes" "thanks for joining us today.."

[@amasthedude1387]

What sort of f***ing interview was THAT?!?!?!

[@pyramidhead6998]

@@amasthedude1387 An interview with Steven Seagal, the fuck did you expect?

[@fatufatu]

“It’s been an absolute pleasure.”

[@catdogmousecheese]

"If I was to look around this room, right now, would I find an arm of some kind?" Why would you phrase it like that? Seagal: "Yeah, there's a grenade in the flower pot, there's an uzi under this cushion, and I there's a samurai sword duct taped to the back of my chair. Your producer said he was cool with it."

[@caiusjulius9836]

Steven Frederic Seagal was born in Lansing, Michigan, on April 10, 1952,[12] the son of a medical technician and a mathematics teacher. His mother was of Irish descent, while his father was Jewish.[13] His paternal grandparents were Russian Jewish immigrants.[14] During an interview for the Russian talk show, Let Them Talk, Seagal stated that he has paternal ancestors from the Siberian city of Vladivostok, as well as Belarus and Saint Petersburg. He stated that genetic testing determined that he has Yakut and Buryat ancestry as well.[15]

[@alloaima]

I rewatch this video periodically. I don't know what it is about it, but it always has me coming back. Quality content.

[@timbuk2042]

“You’re here to shoot the child but only the child with the weapon” -Steven Seagall -JonTron

[@IdeasManfourteen]

I lost it at that line 😂

[@DeathStar-ok7cm]

The funny part is it’s true

[@electricenergy116]

Timbuk204 use gun on child with gun

[@rainabove1945]

-Timbuk204

[@DavidGogginsLover94]

-Wayne Greztkey -Michael Scott

[@Fishpasta4]

It's impressive how he manages to look lost and confused no matter where he is.

[@willsbury5150]

even in his own house

[@leogio8093]

Coincidentally - Steven Segal was also called by the coroner when Alec Baldwin shot that one woman on set as well. Sure enough, he struck gold again. It WAS, in fact, a bullet.

[@svansy]

When Steven Seagull was born, the police chiefs of Romania and Nicaragua called his parents to congratulate them on the success. He joined the Romanian special forces at age 6 where he met the CEO of the CIA who hired him to become undercover president of the FBI.

[@jakevanhoesen8546]

“You’re here to shoot the child… but only the child with the gun” I was fucking dying

[@jawwer12]

Much like the child?

[@Insert.Oregano]

@@jawwer12.. but only the child with the weapon

[@jamesonrouchbach2853]

9:00

[@f1shyspace]

Where you the child with the gun?

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

Don't make me do this!

[@elementcuatro584]

Regarding his comments about Jean-Claude Van Damme, This is from Wikipedia: "In 2008, actor Sylvester Stallone declared to the British magazine FHM that "At a party in my home in Miami in 1997, Van Damme was tired of Seagal claiming he could kick his ass so he offered Seagal outside into my back yard." According to Stallone, Seagal made his excuses and left while Van Damme tracked him down at a nightclub and challenged him again. Stallone finished by stating "Van Damme was too strong. Seagal wanted none of it."[82]"

[@homunkulus819]

Lmao

[@wpeniche]

harry delgato well duh, everyone knows The Expendables is based on a true story as told by Stallone.

[@lordquaz7154]

Say what you want about Van Dam's movies but the guy has balls.

[@yoavsnake]

+

[@geekymetalhead5112]

As much as I enjoy both of their movies, I'd place my money on Jean Claude

[@redjirachi1]

I think there's a saying that you can judge a man by the company they keep. So Seagal being friends with Putin and Lukashenko really speaks for itself

[@Omni-Films]

Jontron's portrayal of Steven Seagal is more accurate than Steven himself.

[@SimplyChris]

Is this the JonTron Waiting Room?

[@frankie1948]

No. You can leave

[@randorecruit1269]

Yes it is. The toilet is the fifth door on the right. If you need some food there is a restaurant on the other side of the street. If you are tired there are beds upstairs. If you wish to leave you can do so.

[@Miguel-bv3ei]

I got a reservation for next video, gonna be waiting a while.

[@tywillis2395]

Yes. Welcome.

[@thepencilcunts]

No this is Patrick

[@redstreak9430]

I’m worried: Jon smack talked Steven Seagal and we haven’t heard from him since. I hope he hasn’t roughed him up too badly.

[@KenLinx]

Yeah I hope Seagal's alright.

[@realfreemaple]

yeah

[@JimmyBoy9878]

@@KenLinx Ouch..

[@moboots]

I think hes dead

[@DatOneCat]

Nah, this is normal for him to suddenly disappear for a long time. He's still alive based off his Twitter feed (December 19th). So don't worry about it.

[@richardallen6066]

Aikido was originally a hand based technique used to prohibit your opponent from drawing their sword. It was useful and fairly effective provided it was used in the right context.

[@pross6525]

Segal is truly a legend in his own mind

[@Spyachungus]

Jon’s been real silent since he talked smack about Steven

[@MegaBalea123]

True

[@whitelight7]

O no

[@hypernova8234]

OH DAMMMM

[@some-hampter220]

*he's come for him*

[@Dovaz921]

Zoo race waa his last good video

[@adorablehorrorfrombeyond1462]

Steven Seagal is just a katana neckbeard that made it to Hollywood. Kind of incredible really

[@_ikako_]

I love how he puts an accent on "karate" but still pronounces it wrong.

[@blahooper]

The perfect description

[@Ramsey276one]

Fully agree

[@MrHarrissirraHrM]

Thank you for the perfect explanation.

[@BewareTheLilyOfTheValley]

Yeah, when he informed he was scouted not at an actual audition but a carnival show, I could only roll my eyes. I didn't know aikido masters needed to walk everywhere with a swagger to prove they're tough...on account of how peaceful the method is and it just uses the person's momentum against them. Between that and needing the gun, something tells me the gun would be his first method of defense in a fight.

[@SoLiDsKuLl1]

Imagine you go to the park and Jontron is there dressed as fuckin Steven Seagal

[@bmo14lax]

17:04 this just shows how narcissistic he is. He's totally out of touch with reality " oh you're amazing!" LMAOOO

[@hayden6759]

Later that day, Steven Seagal found Jon and flipped him to death.

[@TechInspected]

I mean, JonTron hasn't uploaded since this video. So I'd ask Steven Seagal.

[@zosowon]

this is 100% canon, rip jontron

[@Driver-Nephi]

F

[@user-rc3kr6dk8k]

Actually they ruled it as a suicide; he flipped himself to death.

[@roachdoggjr419]

@@user-rc3kr6dk8k because Steven segal was at his door

[@kolbytriplett4644]

Steven Seagal is like if Chuck Norris made up every joke and meme about himself and actually believed them to be true.

[@stuartward1755]

In Chuck's case though they are all true

[@aestrobloome]

chuck norris is a legit, black belt level martial artist and has proven it. steven segal is a joke.

[@SHINOBI-03]

@@aestrobloome Check Norris was one of the lucky few to battle Bruce Lee. What's in Steven Seagal's credit?

[@commander57]

Chuck Norris was a 7 time full contact world champion during the golden age of fighting martial artists.Steves claim to fame in the real world of martial artists?

[@DonVigaDeFierro]

@@stuartward1755 JoJo makes Chuck Norris references.

[@nolsee1176]

3:32 Is my favourite JonTron laugh ever. It makes me grin without fail.

[@theratlord914]

Why is nobody talking about how his karate story is straight up the story for karate kid-

[@franklinkinmartin]

The only thing I want in life now is for Steven Seagal to teach Martial Arts to Gwyneth Paltrow, and at the end of the episode they meet up with Dan Akyroyd to drink some Crystal Head Vodka

[@Bowiiihowdy]

And they get some leaks and use some flex seal

[@troillandford7679]

Then they all workout with OJ

[@Krozbot]

golden and underrated comment

[@blahblahsen1142]

i mean, at least dan akroid sells drinkable vodka in a cool ass bottle. he's crazy but you get what you bought. out of the 3, he's the only one who's not a con artist, he's just a weird guy selling booze. i like like booze.

[@ma5terbuilder012]

Mr Worldwide

[@snoookie456]

MISSING Jonathan Tronathan Have you seen this man? He was last seen making fun of Steven Seagal.

[@nardopol0]

Also answers to Timothy Brentwood

[@Ryu1ify]

He's gone. Steve got him.

[@kingcrab1774]

sounds like a jojo character

[@jaredsabatelli2459]

Dam has it really been five months

[@durururururururu]

better get started with turning his subreddit into Scott the Woz's again

[@tankst33le87]

This is the first video ive seen on this channel. I havent laughed since 97. This dude had me in stitches. Def subscribed. Keep it up.

[@Consural]

17:14 "No, we didn't call the ambulance. We're calling you, dude."

[@KyleFromVA]

Steven Segal happens to be whatever the situation calls for. Russian interview? He’s Russian. Military interview? Navy seal. Interview about Japanese culture? Trained with ninjas. Man of many supposed talents

[@jammin2575]

He’s a master of 🐂💩

[@RobD-jq7ry]

Don't forget when he suddenly turns black when around any black person.

[@Sincity89103]

Biggest fraud I’ve ever seen

[@Bart-Did-it]

Trained ninja 🥷 😂😂😂🤣 Nah trained turd 💩 .

[@trolley4388]

Watch Woody Allen’s Zelig.

[@krimsonklaww611]

Steven Seagull looks and sounds like he's remembering and forgetting everything every second.

[@SepticFalcon]

Thats because hes making it up ;)

[@steelmonkeyy]

well he has to remember what he made up many years ago

[@Danawesomy567]

I’ll never forget it. My mom had a friend of a friend come over to help with something and we got to talking. The subject of martial arts was brought up and it turned out he was well versed in Aikido. We get to talking some more and he explains how it works, yata-yata-yata, he starts to show me some moves. One such demonstration he wanted me to throw a punch at him slowly. In martial arts demonstrations, it’s usually not a problem to go at a slower pace so you can better analyze the technique. What he didn’t know was that I had a modest background in boxing. In boxing you’re taught to lead with your left rather than your right. So, in slow motion, I throw a jab with my left. This startled him so much that he had to straight up stop the demonstration and ask me if I was left handed. I told him no but I knew some boxing. So he explains that most guys throw punches with their right hand, so he straight up wants to start over but this time, he instructs me to throw with my right. At the time, I didn’t think much of it, but now that I know much more about fighting, that was really pathetic. Your “martial art” trains you so repetitively and monotonously that your reflexes are dulled to the point that you cannot even process something happening in SLOW MOTION. If your martial arts school only does demonstrations without letting you spar, you’re not fighting, you’re doing choreography. Karate is a big offender too in some cases. Many dojos don’t allow their students to spar because “the techniques are too dangerous”. So, when they go and pick a fight, they get their asses handed to them because their opponent wasn’t as complicit with being attacked as their dance partners were.

[@GoodAtSpeling]

Steven Seagal just constantly exudes that "I don't remember why I walked into this room" energy, even if he walked into the room to shake hands with Putin or eat carrots with a dictator

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

Hè alwas has a ''post nut clarity'' face.

[@Mark.13.]

Funny that ppl still call Lukaszenka a dictator only coz msm told them to and we all know msm are the truth temple...

[@Rouzhianna]

@@Mark.13. dude i'm belarusian, and he IS a dictator

[@captain_awesome2134]

@@Mark.13. ah yes, he's only won every election since he became president while all of his political rivals mysteriously disappear or get arrested. Sounds perfectly normal to me

[@melonie_peppers]

"Eat carrots with a dictator." Not a sentence I thought I'd hear

[@KittenGirlyuwu]

The reason he hasn't made a video in two months is that Steven Seagal tracked him down and killed him

[@EhlistarsWrath]

8:01 you wonder why he got shot right here~ it’s just like Bruce’s son!

[@GrandRBLX]

what the f-

[@efreeteu461]

That's so sad, RIP in peace John Tron

[@dominicjackson6122]

no it's because Raid shadow legends has him and his family hostage

[@skiffy8121]

being a jontron fan represented by spongebob *****spongebob by the mailbox***** IM WAITING, IM WAITING, IM WAITING *****patrick walks up***** WE'RE WAITING, WE'RE WAITING, WE'RE WAITING

[@user-cp9dw1jh2j]

That rubber arm is 100% comedic gold! I love it . Jon: Goes on hiatus again."I don't like where this is going".

[@1N54N3]

Jon: How exactly do you wash a dish in a fashion that will impress a martial arts master? My mind: …wax on, wax off…

[@porkysugrim]

Steven is one of the best examples of “fake it till you make it”

[@chrisredfield6274]

And then keep faking it

[@JamKyt9]

Fake it till you fake it

[@EricDodsonLectures]

... except he never really made it.

[@chrisredfield6274]

@@EricDodsonLectures Except he did. Do you know how much money he made on Under Siege alone? Let alone all the other hits he was in from the 90s

[@EricDodsonLectures]

@@chrisredfield6274 ... Well, there's more to life than money. In fact, it's entirely possible to be incredibly wealthy... and yet a complete, pathetic wreck of a human being in all of the ways that really matter. And I don't think you have to look too far into the realm of celebrity to find an easy confirmation of that. Such seems to be the case with Seagal.

[@BrekkaJones24]

Steven Seagull: The Russian, The Asian, The Texan.

[@aliekexie8467]

You missed Italian

[@mohitsalhan9344]

*The Mongol-Russian-Jewish emperor of our hearts*

[@PapaRikkiBalls]

The black man

[@SwiftNimblefoot]

I thought he was native american...

[@stalebread9825]

Swift Nimblefoot nah he’s martian

[@ledestroyerofworlds9366]

Brendan lee: gets shot Set crew guy: call Steven seagall „hey Steven we shot a blank gun at Brendan but now he’s dead“ Steven Seagall: „yeah must have bin a bullet“ Set crew guy: „you’re amazing Steven“

[@ms1535]

Oh geez, this was the funniest one ever! My sides were hurting. Thxs man.

[@ldmnyblzs]

You didn't even get to his Reddit AMA where he replied to like 10 questions then left because everyone was just shitting on him.

[@dizzee2100]

10? I only see two replies on his reddit profile

[@dogman9223]

Dizzee nah he just went to the other 8 people in person

[@ldmnyblzs]

@@dizzee2100 it's u/stevenseagalofficial He gave more answers than I remembered but they were all very brief.

[@TheSwolOne]

Steven Seagal is that guy in high school who said he was a physcopath and that he could kill someone, but is scared to ask a waiter for water at a restaurant

[@fmhqbattousai]

There's a perfectly reasonable explanation. Obviously the act of asking for water at a restaurant, when performed by someone such as Steven, would cause the waiter's heart to stop out of fear. His schi (that's steven-chi, for those uninitiated) is so honed by his years of practice in Aistevedo that simply looking in someone's direction for any extended period of time could cause them to age rapidly (hence his schi blocking sunglasses, as seen in his meetings with Vlad and that Watermelon guy). But yeah....I think you're probably right.

[@keane6]

unfortunately that was me back in middle school

[@mozzerellafolla443]

@@keane6 i have nothing to say besides... oof

[@elrey1176]

Too scared to ask for water but not too scared to basically molest woman under the guise of a "massage"

[@Sionnanful]

He’s the type that would wear a trench coat and would act like he could kick a football players ass, but instead gets beat up behind a garbage bin.

[@nimascolari1508]

He was seriously trying to reign himself in with those coke drips he was getting every time he sniffed and swallowed. 😂

[@britton3377]

This was an awesome video, hilarious and so well delivered. Great job

[@funnyvalentine6896]

August 1, 2020 A man named John Tron went missing after smack talking Steven Seagal

[@reginapotiomkiniene7478]

Yes

[@Otamatone69]

John must have gotten flipped and then died

[@idrissjewai8100]

Hope he is good

[@commandergree7316]

Good to see another trooper in these comments.

[@bigpimp7329]

Happy to see the boys in the comments remembering our fallen soldier

[@phabiorules]

Fun Fact, Sylvester Stallone has told a story of Seagal being a prick at a house party, and Van Damme called him out on it, saying he wanted to take it outside. Seagall then immediately got into his car and drove away. Van Damme followed him to a bar, and gave him the offer again, to which Seagall once again left.

[@russiandrago821]

Van Damme would destroy Seagal! Even looking at them today you can see Van Damme is in better fighting shape.

[@blragh]

??? I need to see this

[@lionheart6176]

and van damme doesn't even need cocaine to defeat segal

[@konstantinosmas3950]

You idiots. VD wouldn’t even touch him. He is the only westerner to TEACH aikido in Japan. VD knows his shit, he really does, but S is actually a master. As to why aikido looks false google it and you will understand. It’s all about that split second action, the momentum acts after that, if you done it well it’s over.

[@blragh]

@@konstantinosmas3950 also hes a reincarnated Buddha

[@nichhodge8503]

3:32 😂😂😂 I absolutely loved that part of Steven Seagal ‘singing’ (if you can call it that). I can’t help but crack up every time I see it and I have to go back and watch it several times 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@jonnun7713]

Dude! You have me honestly laughing!!! Thanks brother! Please, carry on!

[@BoshMind]

Jon: Goes on hiatus again. "I don't like where this is going"

[@danieljacksonofficial5107]

I don't like this either.

[@danieljacksonofficial5107]

Wait a minute, your content is insane. I just took a look at your channel and was not dissapointed.

[@M4rks]

bruh, bosh?

[@gloriouswar9116]

‘Ello bruv

[@Helicopter7]

Ok Bosh ✔️ • 11 hours ago Jon: Goes on hiatus again. “I don’t like where this is going”

[@sarasenft2674]

I'm terrified that JonTron just turned around and got a perfect headshot on that paper dummy- The power this man has

[@ShinziiArt]

Lmao

[@kirbyfreakyt4695]

Nooo I had the nice amount of likes but several people liked at the same time!

[@lepewthepew8408]

GAMER

[@anonymoose6873]

With his luck it probably was shot in just one take too

[@SneakySteven]

He did my dear, he did

[@aidancraig1903]

Why is the visual of Steven segall playing on the swings with a stongebob ice cream from the ice cream truck literally the perfect description of my view of him😂😂😂

[@armyoutcast846]

No one's gonna talk about Jon's accuracy with his pistol?! If that isnt edited that's amazing

[@R4ULTR]

Seagal not considering Van Damme a tough guy when Seagal himself literally left a party in order to avoid fighting against him when challenged LOL

[@jordanmcgarty9662]

michael jai white too, man is like a black belt in several martial arts and is swole as shit.

[@ornithorhynchusanatinus2167]

@@jordanmcgarty9662 a white belt in bjj could destroy an aikido master

[@justanotherperson7774]

God Bless Your Perfection

[@NoGirlsOnTheInternet]

Might have something to do with Van Damme being an actual Muay Thai artist. He doesn't just lightly bump into people and expect them to pratfall, y'see.

[@jordanmcgarty9662]

@@ornithorhynchusanatinus2167 oh agreed because aikido is just bullshit lmao

[@grasstoucher4694]

Steven seagal looks like a deepfake of himself on himself

[@jc329co3]

Johntron dressed up as Steven seagal looks more like Steven seagal than Steven seagal looks like Steven seagal

[@simonwu7250]

It's like his face was on his body

[@greasycheese9050]

Even his face looks out of place on his body He can't just not look out of place

[@joya8292]

@@jc329co3 I say he looks more like Sam Hyde

[@TheBfutgreg]

I assume it's because we cannot comprehend an "accomplished" "actor" acting in such a way....but yet....beHOLD!!!

[@jenniferreid8515]

That was an absolute brilliant video. Laughed my ass off. Thanks JonTronShow!

[@noclipkip]

This video was the highlight of my day. The part with the hand hitting the table had my dying 🤣🤣

[@The-Sexinator]

And the wild jontron returns to his cave to hibernate once more.

[@Joebama1911]

But seriously, where is he at?

[@LocalGuardsman]

@@Joebama1911 Seagal and OJ "got even with him".

[@rakelodakel]

And to inhale MAGA copium

[@LocalGuardsman]

@@rakelodakel Twitter mob, eh? Why are you even here if you hate him so much? All it takes is just a single press on the “Ignore this Channel” button, my guy.

[@machomanrandysavage7553]

@@LocalGuardsman no

[@Raddeolized221]

I think he keeps himself in a constant state of confusion so the aliens can’t read his mind

[@mariuserasmus4774]

This is gold.... I had a good laugh thanks.

[@matthewdouglas4078]

Steven Seagal is a 6’4 man with a napoleon complex 😂

[@derelictgasstation]

so, is he just gonna disappear for another 12 months then come out with "Steven Seagal: Certified Tough Guy 2"

[@BladeStorm4497]

And then disappear again

[@gwenpolo1307]

@@BladeStorm4497Nah he's gonna do quality content at a refreshing pace for like 8 months before leaving for a full year. This is the cycle of Jon.

[@PeterPan-gp4ru]

@@gwenpolo1307 It's a disappointing one. Glad I dont pay him.

[@flameyboy4184]

Nah flex tape 3

[@PaulieAFantoneJays19]

I'd actually be down for that...i highly enjoyed this video

[@YouTubeaccoubr]

"I'm a Russian Mongol, so I'm a Russian. My father was a Russian Mongol, so my people are Russian" Great sentence Steven.

[@southfloridaarcheryguy114]

I thought he was saying “mongrel”. That I could believe.

[@carlmarston1687]

His dad was Russian Jewish. He probably thought Mongol sounded cooler

[@mightymediocre3352]

@@carlmarston1687 It becomes very confusing when his family is from Vladivostok and Belarus. I guess he kinda forgot to check the map before he said that or he just named 2 things he picked up in his movies.

[@ConorChaos]

He said mongrel. You know, like his family were from all over with different nationalities and religious beliefs. You would usually use the word when regarding dogs, though.

[@alexanderholzer7392]

@@ConorChaos He definitely said "Mongol"

[@fizkentv]

The playground part woth the ice cream truck had me in chuckles, but when the arm fell off i absolute lost it. Damn i have missed watching Jon vids 😂

[@Grzegorz_is_Baq]

you just flip a guy😅you just throw a guy😂this is perfect definition of aikido❤