Stalking on socials: from Hailey Bieber and Selena Gomez to TikTok detectives

[@staniarakocevic2785]

While checking your ex's/crush's profile is natural, the problem with tiktok and other social media is the mentioned act of romanticising unhinged behaviour like constantly obsessing over somebody.

[@kimberlylopez3230]

It’s the equivalent of “driving by his job, house, or hang-out spot” that was done in the 80s & 90s

[@kyoyameganebereznoff]

I don’t know how I can keep being surprised by TikTok’s ability to romanticize literally anything.

[@Fela_rof]

After every break up I block my ex' social media profiles. So they can't stalk me and I don't start to stalk them. I just like the idea of being completely strangers again 😅

[@accordingtoalina]

I’ve definitely done this before. It’s good to have boundaries!!

[@Annikidiary]

How many times did you break up…???

[@Fela_rof]

@@Annikidiary 3 Times? Not every person meets their one true love at 16. I'm 31 and three relationships during this time frame is a completely normal thing. Grow up 😂

[@avinashreji60]

@@Fela_rofDo you have to cut them off not even be friends? If it ended badly I get it

[@ChrisBrooks34]

This is so strange, but could you imagine you're on a date and then you bring a funny memory something from 3 years ago. And they go, "Yeah, I saw it on your Instagram. That was a really it looked like you had a really fun time." I'd be so creeped out

[@accordingtoalina]

Well, one of the instagram stalking tips is “remember what you’re supposed to know” lmao

[@ChrisBrooks34]

@@accordingtoalina somehow that's even more disturbing. But probably helpful for some

[@TheWizardMoog]

I found your channel originally via concerns of consumerism and over consumption of books perpetuated by TikTok and other platforms. What I did not expect was eventually watching a 20+ minute video about celebrity behavior and social media. But you have a way of speaking about these topics that is so engaging. I learned a lot about myself and others. Thanks for another great video!

[@accordingtoalina]

This makes me so happy, thank you! There will be more book discussions soon but there too many things I find interesting to only talk about books 🤓

[@TheWizardMoog]

haha well, count me in. I'm along for the ride! @@accordingtoalina

[@chickenfoot2423]

the retroactive jealousy felt towards a partners ex has always been kind of concerning to me, it seems quite common to take nasty swipes at them publicly, completely unprovoked lol. ive seen so many tiktoks of women just calling them ugly.

[@accordingtoalina]

it's bizarre. I definitely think, like I say in the video, that curiosity is natural, but the hostility is strange, especially if there were no overlaps between the two relationships..

[@hueningkaj]

This is why I keep myself (as in my real-life identity lol) off of social media entirely. I only have private accounts without any followers where I can curate my feeds and aestheticize aspects of my life lolol. This way, I don't give anyone my social medias but I also don't ask for other people's accounts in return. Now, compared to when I was in high school, I feel no need to stalk.

[@accordingtoalina]

Interesting that you make a distinction between your teenage years and now. When I started making this video I was expecting to see that it was mostly teenagers doing this kind of stuff, but as it turns out some people never grow out of it

[@hueningkaj]

@@accordingtoalina I feel like it also may be attributed to high school experience! Just making loose assumptions here but people who had a generally positive experience in high school may tend to carry those social media stalking habits on into adulthood whereas those who had a negative experience in high school tend to drop that habit, maybe to distance themselves from their high school years. Again just making a vague observation haha!

[@oliviyeves]

It honestly makes me sick to think that there's people that get so obsessed with someone they never even met that they show up to their work or even their home.. This kind of thing cannot be normalised..

[@kallistoindrani5689]

Tips for social media stalking?! Oh god, now that just creeps me out. What the hell?!

[@thefriesofLockeLamora]

I have definitely checked out people's accounts, especially if it's someone I find interesting but I don't want to follow them. My IG is public so I don't really care if someone lurks on my page or tries to get to know me through it. But i have hidden accounts on more niche platforms like reddit and discord so if a date finds me there I'll have questions Edit: always love meeting home skillet biscuits in the wild

[@accordingtoalina]

Home skillet biscuits unite

[@janameile8232]

again really interesting topic. i just really love listening to you and how you discuss something from a realistic point of view instead of judging everything as if anyone is really perfect. always exited when you have posted a new video

[@accordingtoalina]

this makes me so happy to hear, thank you!

[@zarifdaiyan1162]

The premise of this video is so dystopian

[@accordingtoalina]

Stay safe out there 😬

[@Phaedrus88]

Not going to lie you had me going for a second, in the beginning I was like no way does Alina do that, does she? As always a refreshing and knowledgeable discussion. The evolution of your voice has been enjoyable and educational for all of us.

[@accordingtoalina]

hahaha gotcha! thank you for always being so supportive xx

[@Phaedrus88]

Always, deactivated my IG recently and this only helps me solidify my decision. I like how balanced your essays/discussions are. @@accordingtoalina

[@andrewschley6047]

I kind of wish there was a new word to describe this. I think there's a pretty big difference between checking in on someone's Instagram and showing up to see you like your story or Lydia's text which was pretty freaky.

[@accordingtoalina]

agreed! I also think that while in-person stalking is harmful to the victim, when it comes to lurking the "perpetrator" is also the "victim". It's almost like a form of self harm...

[@bagelprince3]

this is literally so fuckign wack to me (im 24, so not even that far out of the age group i guess??) but like. being THIS online is weird to see. i am pretty private and detached from social media, with the exception of youtube. i like to listen to stuff in the background. idk this just feels like some weird jealousy and main character syndrome that some people have my sister is like this

[@Saphia_]

Right? This seems so tedious. I mean, I must admit that there are times I've looked down a few rows of people's Instagram posts just out of curiosity but even that gets boring real fast. Not to mention, actual stalking someone's accounts the way it is mentioned in the video is such a waste of my time and more importantly, such an invasion of the person's privacy.

[@bagelprince3]

@@Saphia_ fr ill look up people out of curiosity but never lurk more than a minute or two. I dont understand the weird obsessive/grudge side of it at all

[@Saphia_]

@@bagelprince3 Yeah, neither do I. Even on the phases of my life when I am having the crushiest of the crushes or missing someone a lot, I can't be bothered to be that obsessive with them. I cook up some cute scenarios in my head or in the case of missing someone I used to know, I just take a trip down memory lane.

[@katc2040]

Good for you.

[@rosa22222]

This video and social media stalking in general is such an interesting topic to me as someone who wasn’t allowed to have social media and when I became an adult just never cared to actually download or use any socials. It seems so detrimental to have expectations on a person based on their curated online image, it’s inevitable you will always be disappointed that way! No wonder the dating scene is atrocious 😂

[@aashnajain]

Really an uncomfortably nice video. But on a side note, I DNFed Sheena Patel’s - I am a Fan, coz of the writing style and absolutely no story line. It felt like Instagram pages putting up random quotes and passages without context.

[@accordingtoalina]

100% get that about the writing! The way I see it is if it’s deliberate (which is what I choose to believe haha) then it’s genius. If not…

[@witchywoman6855]

when i was 19 i had a boyfriend that was 20. his “girl best friend” was 26 and allegedly didn’t like me even though we’d never met (red flag). eventually he dumped me out of nowhere and immediately started dating her (result of said red flag lol). i wasn’t close with anyone at the time and didn’t have a way to cope or process outside of myself so i posted a tik tok about it to my very few followers. we hadn’t been following each other on any socials but she somehow saw it and liked it and left a comment like “ ;) “ or something like that. even at the time i was thinking that there’s definitely something wrong with her and that behavior is not cute from anybody much less from a 26 year old directed toward a 19 year old…

[@accordingtoalina]

"she somehow saw it" she was keeping tabs on you lmao. I can't imagine being a whole 26 year old woman and lurking on, much less leave shady I-can-see-you comments on a teenager, no matter what the post was about. Bizarre. So sorry that happened to you angel x

[@georgiannagreene8252]

I'm best friends with my man's ex. The looks I get when I tell that to people never gets old. 😂

[@accordingtoalina]

Lmao I bet. Good for you!

[@starveilvalley]

This is all scary ash that's why I only accept people I know at this point, but sometimes that's not enough to prevent people. I post my posts to my story for higher reach since people follow like 1k people and wonr see it. I post my photos on my story with music cause i think i look good. I never knew people jusy thought thats all weird and attention seeking smh 😮‍💨

[@missymitchell9827]

You’re such an icon as always! I don’t stalk my ex but I do stalk you hope that’s okay xoxoxo

[@accordingtoalina]

You’re an angel and gorgeous, so

[@moonface8567]

I'm going to not skip the ads because Alina used to like most of my Instagram posts (when I used to post)!

[@accordingtoalina]

Lmaooo women supporting women 🥹

[@IzuAurora]

I really hate the "everyone does that/we all do it/everyone thinks like that/everyone says that" phrases. 9,5 times of 10 I have never done or thought or said what they claim everyone does and most times it's something borderline insane/abusive/harmful/bigotet etc. I feel like all of the people that assume and say that aloud that "everyone does it" are making excuses for their own behaviour and normalising something they know deep down that is wrong. But they can't stop/don't want to stop and don't want to feel guilty so they make up this idea that if everyone does it, we're all guilty so that's to say none of it matters then.

[@akashtiwari5729]

💜✨️ always look forward to your videos Best wishes for you channel 🙌🏻🌻

[@accordingtoalina]

What a lovely comment, thank you so much ❤❤❤

[@walrusmaximus]

I dint have social media (unless you count KZbin) but my friends engage in this behavior and its so weird. I call them out in it but they don't see anything wrong in it.

[@accordingtoalina]

there's only so much you can do as a friend. I've had the same experience although I wouldn't say I've called them out, necessarily. I mostly ask questions because I find it fascinating to hear why they do it/ what they get out of it. There has been only one occasion where I thought it was dangerous - to the person doing the "stalking" because I could see it was messing with their self esteem. I guess all we can really do is ask thoughtful questions..

[@LoveLoveLoveTropical]

I had an ex partner who got with somebody rlly quickly on the rebound then the relationship seemed to fall apart quickly and then they started following me on my art twitter liking every other fucking post I made then randomly unliked everything. Then they kept coming up as having seen my IG story? Was very weird behavior I felt like I was slowly being driven insane by somebody with a fucking Gorillaz avatar online

[@accordingtoalina]

Lmao not the gorillaz avatar

[@cats9994]

Seeing the college I go to (Indiana University) being referenced in this video is kind of wild like I have the ability to go meet Gershon myself right now if I wanted to

[@accordingtoalina]

Omg tell her I said hi 🥹

[@Andywalker-d3w]

I"ve never thought about this before because I'm not on Instagram but wtf

[@yamilecruzsousa1830]

But, how do I know when you are being stalked?

[@walrusmaximus]

Best path forward is just deleting social media.

[@accordingtoalina]

interestingly, there are people making content about how to know who's "stalking" your profile but I find them to be part of the problem in most cases (except for people working in action against online violence).

[@m1lanameow]

unrelated to the video, but i was curious if u have a favorite book?

[@accordingtoalina]

I studied literature for my BA and my masters, so asking me to pick a favourite is downright cruel hahaha. I'm pretty passionate about Dante's Divine Comedy - started a whole book club about it a couple of years ago!

[@lunarlovely.]

Hi im new here but i really love your lipstick and i never do this ever but can u share the name of ur lipstick or something similar? ❤

[@accordingtoalina]

of course! it's actually a lip liner from Barry M in the shade Rose. If you're in the UK I think you'll find it at Boots xx

[@lunarlovely.]

@@accordingtoalina thank u so much! i am from belgium and i dont think they sell it here but i will try to find something similar also it suits you really well! 💕💕

[@ariadna7189]

Hey, are you romanian or from some other eastern european country? Not trying to be intrusive though 😅

[@accordingtoalina]

I’m Romanian yes!

[@ariadna7189]

@@accordingtoalina well that makes sense 😂 There's a certain clarity and musicality in the way Romaninans pronounce english words, even in people who were raised in english speaking countries, but who also know romanian. Keep going, your channel is great!

[@Thatbakadere]

Your nails are so distracting girlll ✨ The colour really suits you 🌸

[@accordingtoalina]

Thank you! I do wave my hands around a lot 💀

[@88crabb]

Hello you're still as pretty as ever I love you

[@accordingtoalina]

🥺🥺🥺