ADDRESSING MY TOXIC SHOPPING ADDICTION.

Following my recent video on why I hide my luxury purchases, a few comments were left talking about my shopping habits, and how if I hide my luxury purchases, I must know that my shopping is wrong, that it is excessive, that I am ashamed of it somehow, because I hide the purchases I make. It was suggested I have a toxic shopping addiction, that I can't stop, that I know I shop to excess and therefore it follows, that I am addicted to shopping handbags. In this video I address the issue of my toxic shopping habit head on, talk about how I can shop like this, whether or not it is an addiction, If it is toxic, and what drives me. Let me know your thoughts in the comment box.
Bags on my wish list:
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Preloved bags, trusted sites!
Fashionphile: rstyle.me/+KA_J59CFIhDoa3ukKH...
Online stores I love:
Farfetch: rstyle.me/+NPUSj647W4HLSimQto...
Net a Porter: rstyle.me/+1VXbw-eh4QHkw2LLpk...
Reiss: rstyle.me/+MWPJ_JIu0attqo7lhQ...
Ted Baker: rstyle.me/+_eReMBfFL9klhs0B06...
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You can also find me on my other channel, Amelia Rose Talks @ameliarosetalks
IG: @amelia.roses.closet
Email: [e-mail]
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This video is part sponsored, all items were purchased with my own money apart from the S.Deer clothing. I may use affiliate links, which means i may receive a commission for purchases made via my recommended links. This does not affect your purchase or your purchase price in any way, but helps to support this channel.
#ameliarose #shoppingaddiction #luxuryshopping

[@growinginluxury]

I think in order for something to be considered "toxic" it needs to be creating some kind of disfunction in your life. If shopping is causing debt, family issues, or masking some other issue then I would say toxic might be the word to use to describe it. If it's not causing any issues I would say it's a hobby. Great video!

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you so much!

[@factsoverfeelingspam2220]

@AliceTopor counterfeiters

[@factsoverfeelingspam2220]

@user-mt3ld4hm6n counterfeiters

[@magueysunset]

The book 30 Days to Stop Being a Shopaholic by Harper Daniels I found helpful, taught me mindfulness meditation to feel more balanced.

[@MichelletheHuman]

Shopping, gambling, drinking, s*x, working are only considered “addictions” if they’re negatively impacting your life. It doesn’t sound like your collection is negatively impacting you at all. I know you mentioned feeling guilty sometimes but it’s self-imposed. Sounds like your beautiful collection is mostly life-enhancing! ❤

[@davisholman8149]

I don’t buy bags - in fact, I have tried to understand the phenomenon of women doing this, because it is so not the way I think. That is why I have watched this, trying to understand. When I heard a woman say she attended a social get-together & was thrilled to have the nicest handbag compared to any of the women there - I was stunned. Sorry, but THAT is pathetic imho.

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you so much!

[@blktauna]

There's a big difference between shopping and buying. Not everyone gets that difference. Its all about how you manage the traffic of purchases you make. Its also about enjoying them. You also manage your finances very well. Thats the real key. OMG are there actually people who have the cheek to tell you that you should spend your money in a particular way??? You do not need to justify anything to them.

[@dannilynn5461]

I agree….. if all bills are paid…. Food in the home and the family is good….. bank account is good…..enjoy your shopping habits

[@ameliarosescloset]

yes there are!

[@DaylesAddiction]

Great video, love how you addressed this one. So many backyard psychologists out there judging away, at the end of the day, you enjoy it, can afford it, can function without it, it’s a joy for now so live in that moment!

[@ameliarosescloset]

Well said! thank you my love. x

[@QuietlyPeaceful]

Amelia, I've been watching your channel for years now and haven't yet commented. Addiction or no addiction, thank you for being so transparent. You didn't have to share all this and neither are you obligated. But it helps me immensely to know what/how other people think and prioritize when it comes to these luxury purchases. So thank you, thank you!!

[@Lifeandluxdelights]

Well said thank you 😊

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you so much!

[@factsoverfeelingspam2220]

Agree with you girl! I think sometimes we “hide” purchases from family or friends/ppl who may not be able to afford it. It’s not from shame, also my bags I can always sell, compared to a gambling addiction etc. it’s low risk. I wasn’t able to buy any of these things until almost 50!! Live within your means! I proudly used Coach until 50. This luxury bag thing is just fun & im enjoying it. Great video!! I’m with you!

[@ameliarosescloset]

I love this mindset, thank you!

[@rianne184]

I think ‘addiction’ has such a negative connotation. I prefer to look at it like a hobby. It has your interest, you’re looking at new things. Not necessarily to buy them, but because you just love bags. Nothing wrong with it! As long as someone doesn’t buy bags they can’t afford, there’s no harm in this amazing hobby

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you so much!

[@catalinaquijano6477]

Ouch! Something not everyone wants to hear, but I’m so glad you discuss. I’m very similar to you in this respect. I work very hard for my purchases but I often think that my money should have gone to more productive investments. However, it’s so important to balance and be responsible about one’s own financial plans. Thank you for being so transparent and thoughtful about this topic, especially for a younger generation who is still working toward their careers. I enjoy your videos and your unboxings, I celebrate with you your purchases as a milestone. I also want to say is why, as women do we constantly have to feel shame for our love of buying what we rightfully earned and worked so hard for?? I never see men make videos like this! Food for thought…Thank you for your videos. 💖💖💖

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you so much!

[@staciarenee2982]

A shopping addiction to me is when you can't control it, and you blow through all of your money to support it. An addiction is when you can not stop. You can't say no, even when you don't have the money. You're responsible with your purchases. One thing I've learned online is, unfortunately, miserable and jealous people love to put others down. They want what you have, and because they don't have what you have, they feel the need to put you down to make themselves feel better about not having these items. It doesn't matter WHAT you do or like... some miserable POS will come along and rain on your parade. These people will make an entire scenario of assumptions in their head and RUN with it.

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you so much!

[@katemiller7874]

So most shop a holics , including myself have the poor kids syndrome. As I was chatting with my high school buddy we decided we grew with everything we needed for the most part but not what we wanted. We noticed that makes people like us. We’re not in debt either but who really needs 25 bags. No one. So when I raised my kids they had what they needed and 98% of what they wanted. So they were satisfied now as adults they know how to save vast amounts of money and are working on purchasing homes. Just my armchair psycho babble lol. I def do not think your toxic with your shopping but ya maybe a bit addicted. I think most people are that have a lot. Me included. I love how humble you are (your upbringing keeps you grounded) and how in touch you are with your feelings on the matter. Excellent video. Thank you❤️

[@ameliarosescloset]

this is very interesting

[@EssSimplyDone]

Very good video. I love that you are taking accountability... Alot of other YTers are in denial about this

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you so much!

[@sylly654]

I feel the same way about handbags; I look upon them as wearable art. Treasures to behold.

[@ameliarosescloset]

love this!

[@user-hw1ny4qc4z]

Straight forward, no nonsense talking lady ❤️👍🏼

[@ameliarosescloset]

Thank you x

[@lkofie6670]

I truly appreciate this video. Although I'm also in my 40's and in a stage of life where I've come to realize that I DON'T NEED TO EXPLAIN ANYTHING TO ANYONE (outside my husband) as I always felt I had to do in my 20's, 30's, and early 40's, I'm glad you're addressing this. WHY? because people LOVE to draw WRONG conclusions and build their perceptions based on those conclusions, be it good or bad. At least for those that have wrong conclusions to where they are going into debt to keep up with the internet life/social media, they can get a dose of reality and clarity on what to discontinue and take on a new approach. For the rest, I think those are the type of individuals that would rather believe their perception than the truth. In regards to "toxicity," I think it's in relation to circumstances where you are in debt to the degree that your livelihood goes neglected like unpaid bills, a number of accounts in collections, in some cases having to file bankruptcy, you're behind on mortgage, you dipped into your retirement account to shop more versus paying off the accrued debt...THAT'S TOXICITY. Otherwise, I think people can behave as though it's sin to have an abundance of something you enjoy but really, when people like something a lot, that's what they do... collect them. Mind you, I said collect NOT hoard as people also tend to categorize those who have a lot of items. Hoarding is different from what it is to collect or build upon a wardrobe. On a side note, I wonder if people who collect dolls get a similar bad rap as people who have full closets of handbags, shoes, or clothes(?). Anyhow, provided indulgences or collections don't interfere with a person's health, finances, and overall livelihood, and it's not ill-gotten/stolen from others, to each his or her own is what I go by. We all should enjoy life in a way that suits our taste.

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you!

[@Tenzin62]

Shopping addiction, let’s face it, is a slur aimed at women. It is the same as saying, ‘women can’t handle finances, look how they waste money.’ A man drops £50,000 on a car, is he critiqued? Nope.

[@antoa5825]

Amen!

[@MadamoftheCatHouse]

The reason he is not criticized is because he is paying for quality. And car quality is literally a matter of life and death. Now if he compulsively buys expensive cars and gets into debts and bankruptcy, he DOES get criticised. Just like nobody criticises a woman if she buys ONE expensive bag. She gets criticised when she shops beyond her means.

[@MadamoftheCatHouse]

@@antoa5825 Nope! Car quality is far more important than a bag quality. Car quality is a matter of life and death the way a bag quality isn't.

[@emajjamarie]

@@MadamoftheCatHouse there is not a life or death quality difference between a 30k and 60k car. stop lying

[@Tenzin62]

@explodingkitten307 A car always depreciates in value the minute you drive it out of a showroom, always. Many of these Chanel LV and Hermes bags appreciate in value, literally by thousands in a year.

[@slangelands4255]

I love your self awareness and greatly admire your honesty. As long as no one is being hurt or harmed, why not shop? You are stimulating the economy. Life is hard enough as it is and finding a legal nonharming hobby is a godsend. Yes, it would be better to be less materialistic, but sainthood ain't easy. Baby steps, right? ❤

[@ameliarosescloset]

Baby steps. Thank you xx

[@whocares566]

This is my favorite video of yours!! ❤ I especially enjoyed the bit at 12:50 where you discuss how you love your bags and they bring you so much joy! I appreciate your honesty that this frequency of purchasing is not typical behavior for anyone (regardless of income). It’s a bit excessive for sure. But it’s also the same as being addicted to travel or painting or knitting… whatever your vice may be. I think the main takeaway is to do so in a financially responsible way.

[@ameliarosescloset]

Thank you so much x

[@MaxItUpwithMarta]

I appreciate your choice to speak about this. You didn't ever have to and many others in KZbin verse are in the same situation but do not address it.

[@ameliarosescloset]

Thank you

[@Gracednp]

Honestly, I don’t understand why you need to explain your shopping habits since I am the one who is willingly clicking on your channel to see YOUR curated collection. I love to see what you have added - I enjoy it very much. Thank you for sharing!

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you so much!

[@brigittebazel2754]

Kinda scared to watch this one. Please don’t tell me to stop 😂😂😂

[@ameliarosescloset]

I won't be telling you that!

[@karenellis1031]

I worked with a guy who used to make comments about how many handbags I owned yet this same guy owned more than 20 fishing rods but that was ok because he “needed”them. Shopping addiction is generally something that women are “afflicted” with. It’s your money and it’s your life. Do what makes you happy.

[@ameliarosescloset]

I think there is a video in that..

[@tippytoe1250]

I use to have a shopping problem also. The hiding and the lying. I have stopped for like 3 years now and I feel so much better.

[@ameliarosescloset]

I'm working on this

[@lovechillnbags375]

I commend you for the introspection and open discussion on this private matter. You have many valid points. You are responsible, you have allocated the money to your shopping, etc. But despite that, the “excess” shopping bothers you deep down. It begs the question, when does it become too much? And why does it bother you? Can a collection become too big and at what point? Only you can answer that-it’s so individual. Perhaps you grew up with less and know you don’t need it all to be really happy. So does that make it a waste of money? Would the money be better spent on something else? I’m a big believer in trusting our gut and intuition. If yours is telling you it’s too much, then listen to it or explore other ways to spend it or save it. Much love

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you so much!

[@AnUrbanGypsy]

I do think hobbies can become addictions… anything that gives us pleasure and that dopamine high. I think if a person wonders if they have an addiction, they’re probably on their way to one. It’s maybe like a functioning alcoholic or gambler or over eater; they still work, drive, pay the bills, dress well, care for family. Many people learn to manage addictions in a way that still lets them indulge often and I think that might be the key, in how often they indulge., rather than if they can financially afford to. When did two luxury purchases a year become twelve and when did twelve become OK? If your husband had said no to shopping because he wanted to see other things, would you have felt sad? That could be a key. It’s so a personal and individual that others can’t answer.

[@ameliarosescloset]

a functioning shop a holic!

[@contentwithcandace]

I will not take on debt to buy an handbag. For me, it’s just not worth it. I’m in my 50s and just got to the point where I can buy a high end luxury bag with planning. It is not normal to buy a bag once a week! I agree. I LOVE shopping for handbags but I don’t love shopping for other things. I only shop period when I intend to purchase. Now I’ll go online looking all the time but I only purchase at certain times. 😊

[@ameliarosescloset]

debt for me is a no no

[@mamabear84147]

if everything else is in order, its not an addiction. if you are choosing to buy bags over actual necessities to live, thats an addiction. you have a genuine love of bags and that is nothing to be ashamed of. i have seen you do a "no buy/ no spend" if you had a genuine addiction, you wouldnt be able to do that. you have your priorities in order, go buy and love your bags! ❤👜

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you so much!

[@VeryRandomIris]

I just happened to find your channel. I must say you look like the Hollywood star Melissa McCarthy! One of the best actresses today. Really like your honesty and glam. Have a good day!

[@ameliarosescloset]

Why thank you x

[@lanabanana4752]

I love this, I can relate to you so much. I loooove my beauties, same I have my bags ons display so I can see them and enjoy them

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you so much!

[@michellekoh1183]

I’ve been watching your channel for a long time now, mainly because I find your personality refreshing. Watching this video, one thought did come into mind.. just because you can, doesn’t always mean you should. I too have bought many bags and luxury purchases over the last 15 years. I’ve noticed now that I don’t have the desire as much and it’s getting to a point where it almost feels suffocating. Don’t get me wrong, I still love luxury items and I love the pieces I have but I’m not consuming how I used too. I’ve been on a decluttering journey~ Whatever reason you felt compelled to make this video, I hope you are able to find some peace and clarity❤

[@ameliarosescloset]

I am trying to get better at this, appreciating things without needing to buy them, i am selling some too.

[@traingirl.meghan]

I'm only speaking for myself (and I think it's so important to avoid projecting onto other people): While I wouldn't say my shopping is an addiction, I do believe it has become a habit. It still brings me joy, and I am careful with my spending, but browsing became a default for me during the pandemic. It sounds like you're mindful of what you buy and how to save for it! As long as you're happy, that's all that matters 😊

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you so much!

[@DREAMCATCHER33316]

Oh boy can I relate .. I was a fool .. & waisted thousands. But I deleted all my accounts with pre-loved sites. I have 3 bags. And moving on with my life.

[@ameliarosescloset]

that's amazing!

[@JoJoLux]

I’m just glad I’m not the only one that talks to them 😂 A lot of what you spoke about resonated with me but the important bit I think is that it is about the item and not buying for the sake of it - I feel relief when I don’t like a collection and happily enjoy what I already have - often take a bag or two out the cupboard, try on and declare my love - even after owning got years. I’d say your shopping is a lot but by no means toxic as is under control and not damaging any part of your life, only enhancing it - we all have different levels we can do. You know in yourself that if the choice was a bag or a vet bill you’d pay the bill. It’s under control so keep doing what you’re doing as long as it brings you joy and keep showing us so we can live vicariously through you! ❤

[@ameliarosescloset]

we have fab conversations!

[@ladyharriet4136]

If people go into debt to buy luxury goods, they will stay poor. As long as you spend within your means, enjoy your hobby (whatever it is), it’s an non-issue. There are plenty of low (price) lux now, e.g., Strathberry, DeMellier London, Launer. Your money goes a long way, and they are beautiful, high quality handbags.❤

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you, I agree those brands are beautiful x

[@elizas5320]

Thank you for your openness, honesty, and vulnerability. You are putting yourself out there and discussing an important topic in the luxury handbag world. Addiction is very personal and only you know if it is at a toxic level. However, It doesn't appear that your luxury spending is causing problems in other parts of your life (often a component of addiction). You have worked hard for your lifestyle and, if these purchases are well within your means and you really enjoy this pursuit, then I would encourage you to stop the self-judgment. Embrace your hard work and good fortune and appreciate this bounty. You know that while the handbags are fun and enjoyable, they are not important to the level of your family, your job, and the acts of service that you provide for others. Let go of other people's judgment--that is what can easily become toxic. Wishing you the best and thank you for insights, humor, and entertainment. You are an amazing person.

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you so much!

[@workmusic7039]

💗💗💗💗 I think that you do a fabulous job of being both practical and loving you bags like crazy. That didn't sound right, did it. Sigh. Amelia Rose, you are very wise about the things you would go into debt for: school, house, etc. I feel that these things that line your closet are beautiful, tangible bags that bring you joy. And you go further and help the greater good by sharing your knowledge with others. Yeah, you go girl!

[@ameliarosescloset]

Thank you so much!!

[@helenscanlan8132]

You are brilliant Amelia .. continue to shop buy those bags , you are so sensible with money now you told us your money story and you have earned every bag you bought plus we love to see you shop and unbox ..as they say you go girl 💜

[@ameliarosescloset]

Thank you so much!

[@cathydavis8212]

I have to wonder how many men feel guilty about their luxury watch or car purchases. And curious if they have a toxic shopping addiction when they have a large collection. It does seem to be a label that's applied mainly to women.

[@ameliarosescloset]

it is completely labelled at women

[@AleishaChristine]

Great video Amelia! If you are financially able, and enjoy it, then why the hell not! If you were buying expensive art work, no one would batter an eye lid, so why not see your bags are art! I certainly do ❤

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you so much!

[@narelleberes5809]

Your a very smart strong woman. You love luxury bags. There's nothing wrong with that. People spend a lot of money on travelling, car's etc. You work hard you should not be made to feel guilty. Next time you buy a bag , free yourself and display it on the kitchen counter so all can see. ❤😅

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you so much!

[@reutgadmish1835]

To me the definition of addiction is that it's uncomfortable behavior, my dad has a brother that was (or still is, I haven't seeing him in the past 25 years) a gambling addiction and it was so out of control he abused my grandmather until she gave him money and even sold her apartment to have money for his gambling so I think that you love it, but it's not toxic or out of control, everyone has their thing they enjoy doing: sports, movies, going out, clothes, makeup ect, yours is luxury and people think that it's toxic because of the prices of luxury goods and don't really understand that buying lots of clothes from Zara or H&M once every two weeks can sum up to a lot of money so it's very easy to say you're an addict to shopping, I'm following you over a year and I honestly don't believe you have an addiction and I actually learned a lot from you on how to be better with my luxury budget

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you so much!

[@sereneng1253]

We love things but it doesn’t mean we need to buy and own them.

[@ameliarosescloset]

very true

[@shananick1128]

I absolutely agree with you. I love shopping too and looking at new handbags, new make-up, new jewelry and what's wrong with that. Looking at beautiful things does not mean i will buy them all. Having said that, i do think thoroughly before buying and how do i incorporate that into my wardrobe and if that fits my lifestyle and most importantly managing our finances. Really not many people who comes to watch KZbin gets it and start criticizing. We do not need to justify it but we just wants to make it clear that these are not necessity in life. Thanks for sharing 😍

[@ameliarosescloset]

and if it is causing no harm, enjoy it!

[@OblongPolkaDots]

Let's not conflate hobby with addiction. There should be a select few in your life whose opinion you value. Those are the people that care about you and would tell you if something needed to change. Thank you so much for sharing!

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you so much x

[@pamelaatkinsonscats2873]

I think it’s a harmless addiction. You’ve worked for what you buy and it doesn’t impact other parts of your life. When I see TV programmes about people with toxic shopping addictions, they’re often about people (mostly women for some reason) who buy stuff indiscriminately and never even take the tags off. They can’t afford what they buy and it’s harming them psychologically. I think that’s very different to buying things for pleasure that you use and that give you joy. I hope that makes sense.

[@angela.m]

If it's harmless then it can't be classified as an addiction. A real addiction is devastating to a person's life. What she has is more like a harmless hobby. I remember seeing one of those women with a real toxic shopping addiction at a local store I was at. She threw a tantrum when the cashier couldn't get something she wanted, her cart was overflowing with things, and she kept throwing stuff in as she was waiting in line and even as she was arguing with the cashier. It was honestly so scary to see in real life.

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you so much!

[@jaks_bag_attack]

I thought it was normal to keep things, I have over 50 pair of shoes, but I rotate them all the time. Good quality shoes don't expire. I repair them, my over 100 bags is a 20 year collection, I used to buy 2 or 4 bags a year, it is just recently in 2022 I bought 60 bags, but I sold 30 bags. I flipped my collection. I don't just get rid of things. I hid my collection from others' judgment. I am totally cool with the money spent and items kept or sold.

[@ameliarosescloset]

I can be a real hoarder

[@nerdgurl402]

This is something that I struggle with. I am now at the point where I make really good money and my other responsibilities are taken care of, but having come from a poor family, I still question whether or not this is something I should be doing for myself. Realizing that it is ok to treat myself has been a process.

[@carrieod1380]

Similar situation. I do treat myself but hard to reconcile buying expensive bags and witnessing the hardships of others.

[@ladyharriet4136]

Life is too short, if you have the means, you must treat yourself, otherwise what is the point to live? Buying things should be an expensive that makes you feel happy, have a wonderful memory to treasure. I remember almost all of my luxury bags buying experiences, in store and online. Enjoy your life but don’t get into debts for them. ❤

[@ameliarosescloset]

it is a process and it takes time

[@SMR218]

It all depends on how you feel at the end of the day. I think it becomes an addiction when you don’t have control of the situation and the addiction controls you. It seems that you have control of your finances, which is key, and it’s something you enjoy but it seems that there’s a guilt feeling as well. I can relate to many of the things you share so I totally understand. My interest in handbags grew during COVID times . I started building a collection of timeless pieces. All very classic well thought of and carefully researched. Of course I had one or 2 impulse purchases too. I have sold a few to get new ones and that’s my new rule. If I want to add something, another one has to go. I don’t want to clutter my closet. I remind myself that less is more. It is a balancing act. I don’t see myself collecting bags for life. Once I get a number I’m comfortable with I’ll stop buying. I’m getting there and I’m fine with it.

[@ameliarosescloset]

I'm def trying to cycle them more now to stop the number becoming overwhelming

[@sherrysimon2331]

As long as you can afford the items it’s okay. I love to shop but have to limit it by my budget. It’s a good addiction.

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you so much!

[@Buttercookiesssss]

Apart from affordability I recently feel that I may be over on luxury brands. The items don't wear well at all, even if seldom used. I am selling some of what I have, keeping the rest and possibly won't add again in near future. I want to focus on paying off my mortgage. Yes no other debt only this, which is on very high interest rate now :/ more worth it to concentrate on it at the moment

[@ameliarosescloset]

we are focusing on paying off our mortgage as well, with the rates going crazy

[@pure_indulgence8144]

I think you should enjoy your life and your indulgences! You aren’t hurting anyone and you have it all together - so enjoy it guilt free 🙌🏾

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you so much!

[@brigittebazel2754]

Even though you absolutely do not need to explain yourself this was extremely articulate and actually helped me feel less guilty as well. I’m not in debt and have the money. My husband just doesn’t really understand. Although he has gotten used to it. Lol.

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you so much!

[@richeIIe]

Accepting it and being aware of it makes you feel more responsible about it in some ways. Life is way too short I feel and sometimes I use that as an excuse to buy. Take care of yourself ❤

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you my love x

[@StyledByGwenny]

Eloquently put as always, babe. 🤓 Not an addiction. I often still feel guilty/uncomfortable spending on such frivolity, BUT that frivolity brings me such joy, and isn't at the detriment of the bills or anything else soooo NOT an addiction. An enthusiastic hobby! 😉💖

[@ameliarosescloset]

an enthusiastic hobby - I like that!

[@IrinaVanRonkel]

I feel you

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you

[@TeaCupCracked]

I am not a medical professional, but I think the answer is to step back and re-frame the situation; saying "is the shopping toxic?" might not be the most accurate way to pin-point the issue. Because it's projecting on the concept of shopping as the "toxic" part. I think a better question to ask is; "Do I relate, or engage, with shopping in a toxic way?". I know it might just sound like word play initially, but what I hear in this video is that you are looping through the logic a bit because there's something about the phrasing that does not settle right with you, so you are searching for some better/more precise way to convey what you mean. I am not a mind reader, but sometimes I'll loop in conversation and my partner will catch that I'm repeating myself and he'll try to re-frame what I said, or what he thinks I meant to say, to see if that breaks through whatever I'm getting stuck on. Further, I think the negative emotions you are feeling are an indicator something is out of whack; it is entirely possible it is just hang-ups from experiences in your early life, but who we are is partly composed of our past experiences. As much as we might like to move on from them, sometimes it's important to acknowledge certain aspects as being so firmly rooted that we have to work with them instead of strictly try to push through them. Maybe there is a balance of acquisition you could continue to work towards that will still fulfill your desire to own beautiful things, but not generate negative emotions out of it. So far from this video what I hear is the rate of purchasing might be the trigger; not so much a singular purchase. It sounds like a snowball effect happens where the negative feeling starts to bubble up and then builds and builds as you go through a period of buying multiple things. Then, when the buying stops, that negative feeling catches up. So maybe the solution is to try to really plan and space out what you purchase, so that the feeling can bubble up to the surface and dissipate gently instead of build and grow in size until it explodes.

[@ameliarosescloset]

oh interesting way to look at it

[@rijd2304]

There's a fun mindfulness book I saw called "30 Days to Stop Being a Shopaholic" on amz

[@ameliarosescloset]

I need it!

[@pupsalot1382]

Maybe slightly addicted. I have been there with clothes. I loved shopping and rationalized my purchases because i had to keep up appearances for work and social events. In my mid life due to hopefully more wisdom, and working at home, I find less importance in shopping. I have rarely shopped over the last 5 years. If i do, it is out of legitimate need for an item. I am far more selective in what I do buy. I love fashion, and all of my wonderful things, but in retrospect I could have done better things with that money. I could still ave enjoyed fashion, but been more selective about purchases. There is absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying the money you earn, and buying things you enjoy. It's not toxic spending if you can afford it imo. I think you are just becoming wiser and more selective in life choices, and that is great thing! Evolution is everything ❤

[@ameliarosescloset]

becoming wiser, I'll take that!

[@Wildunfiltered]

I don’t think it’s toxic - I think you are super sensible with your finances - it’s a very different matter if you are putting your finances at risk or your family is going without etc. You manage everything well and you are allowed to buy whatever you like. I have had it before where people have accused me of not appreciating my things as I was always onto the next thing. However the only way I can explain it is to say that I fully appreciate everything as I know how hard I have to work to afford them - plus the reason I seem to be moving onto the next one so quickly is just as you say - that I love researching and looking at trends and new collections so I’m always looking - not necessarily buying. Great topic. Interesting video x

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you so much!

[@janhavi16]

Only KZbinrs can continue to do vlog sales to keep their shopping addiction” going. For most people selling bags is a huge loss …first we see all the reviews of the amazing bags and then comes the vlog sale. It’s an interesting cycle.

[@ameliarosescloset]

yes it definitely helps to have an audience when you want to move something on

[@ceciliayoung2761]

Such an honest video. If you are doing all the saving and investing and handbags bring you joy - go for it! You are at the age where your money won’t work as hard for you so I think it’s probably ok to spend.

[@ameliarosescloset]

Thank you! X

[@WinnieBeeLV]

I always feel bad. If I buy, if I don’t buy, if I buy too much, if I sell, if I don’t use the purchases, if I use credit! I’m messed up! Sometimes other people make us feel bad. I don’t think some of them mean to, but when they figure out you have an expensive bag people gasp! Like, I can’t believe you paid that! There are lots of things people buy that becomes obsession. I have friends who have spent thousands and thousands on crafting! ❤❤❤

[@ameliarosescloset]

I can't believe you paid that - I think we have all heard that one!

[@idgybaby3480]

This is a great video!! I don't feel like your addiction is toxic. I don't even know if you have an addiction. An addiction is a compulsive behavior that can't be stopped despite having a negative impact on your life. An addiction is wanting to stop that behavior but you can't. I don't feel that when I watch your videos. I think you have a hobby that you are managing quite well. You are doing it better than I am. I buy too much but I can't let go of anything. That's when it gets suffocating.

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you so much!

[@maneerasaxena2594]

I don’t think your shopping “hobby” is an addiction. You plan your finances well, you truly enjoy the shopping experience and it enhances your life, without having any derogatory effect on you, your family or your pocket. So no, I don’t think it’s a toxic addiction. It’s just a hobby - so enjoy it! PS: I completely understand the guilt of buying a new handbag even when you’ve paid for it in cash that was meant for exactly THAT - it stems from a childhood where nice things were scarce in life, and that little girl is the one feeling ‘guilty’. The mature independent woman you have now become should truly celebrate the fact that you’ve reached this place in your life where buying luxury handbags can be a “hobby”. You’ve worked hard for it, you’ve earned it. At least that’s how I choose to look at things :)

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you so much!

[@cicileigh393]

You're spot on. It looks like most people in the comments are in denial. :(

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you so much!

[@sibimarie33]

I love just looking too. Not because I want something new but I just enjoy looking at the new collections and adding bags to my wishlist but then clicking off of the website and not spending any money. 🙃 Also, when browsing in the store, I enjoy taking pictures of handbags I am interested in or anything really but then leaving and not pulling out my card or cash to spend. I think for me it’s just the act of getting out of my house and looking at pretty, frivolous things. ☺️❤️

[@ameliarosescloset]

I take pictures too!

[@CandleAshes]

I would never say anything to you unless you brought it up, because frankly it’s none of my or anyone else’s business (aside from your family). But from personal experience, I have spent way too much money on makeup and beauty items, perfume etc. in my 20’s. I did not go into debt for it and I could most definitely afford it, my student loans were paid off, I didn’t spend much money on going out or other things. Makeup and beauty most definitely made me very happy, I made friends because of it, but it was still a problem and a toxic shopping habit. I don’t want to say I regret doing what I did exactly, that’s too strong of a word, but I definitely could have done way less and still have enjoyed my hobby. It was more items than I could use and it was overwhelming at some point. The fomo about sales and LE items was super strong. I gave away a lot of my collection, sold some newer unopened things, some stuff expired and had to be thrown away, and I’m still digging myself out of it years later. Too much stuff is too much stuff at the end of the day, it’s wasteful 🤷‍♀️ I know fashion items won’t exactly expire, though some do in a way, but I try to keep it minimal while still having options, I don’t own two small bags in the same color etc. I think first world countries have a huge overconsumption problem and it’s so easy for it to seem normal, but it’s really not

[@ameliarosescloset]

I can start to feel overwhelmed, I think I have a point that is just too much

[@reneehampton7665]

Great video. I love to shop since I was in my teens. I can afford everything I purchase, but have come to a point where I have evaluated how much do I need and can use. I am retired, but when I worked, I did have a different outfit for everyday and did not like repeating outfits in the same year. People noticed it, but it didn’t bother me. I still having enough clothing that I don’t have to repeat. However, I have slowed down only because I have run out of space even though I donate some clothing. I think it is up to you and not others when you have enough.

[@ameliarosescloset]

I would love to see your work wardrobe!

[@susannem3526]

Amelia- you made yourself succesful and you can afford the bags. You should be proud of your achievements and see the bags as prizes you get because of your excellence. You shouldn’t hide it. Especially not from your mum. Wouldn’t she be proud and amazed if she knew that her child is that financially successful? I get that you aren’t that open with it when it comes to friends, but your mum would only be proud of you. You are on a level most people, like me, aren’t. And its a really good thing that you’re talking about it because its not normal for most people in the world to be able to shop like that. But there is also the fact that our planet is dying and we can’t keep living this lifestyle for very much longer and that goes for all of us. I live in Stockholm- it’s been almost 28 degrees Celsius everyday for two weeks. There is no rain coming.. Nothing can grow, everything is burned to a crisp. And it’s our food laying on the fields already destroyed before it’s harvested.

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you, and a very real point on the environment, we are having crazy weather here, very warm and then crazy thunder storms

[@katcankan7129]

What the nhs says about a shopping addiction "Shopping becomes an addiction when you buy things you don't need or want to achieve a buzz; this is quickly followed by feelings of guilt, shame or despair" If you read around this subject then yes one could be viewed has having an addiction to some extent...However: 1- You budget for your items, thus thought is behind your purchases. 2- You have a youtube channel that requires content. Only you know (if any) what impact this has on your spending. 3- Whilst reading around this subject l found it remarkable that no blame was put on the corporations for helping to fuel a possible shopping addiction. For e.g FOMO, FOPI & seasonal items. A great video, food for thought 💜

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you so much!

[@theempoweredwifebookclub6122]

Amelia, my problem is I am obsessed with designer bags but at the moment I don’t have the money to spend on more than one a year. We just bought a house in London, I’m 29 years old so for now no bags for me! But I’m definitely waiting for the day I can spend a bit more frivolously

[@ameliarosescloset]

house comes first! I did it in that order, it will serve you well

[@lauralangham9657]

I agree with this video. My one and only excuse for spending big money on luxury items is that, for the most part, I can sell the items and possibly get back close to what I spent. You Tube is both a blessing and a curse - if I am interested in a bag I can watch countless videos that only fuel my obsession.

[@ameliarosescloset]

Thanks for sharing!!

[@nancitinkelman8830]

It always makes me laugh when people make comments like that on a luxury channel. This is what we come here to watch. I never find it offensive or think you have a problem when I watch your videos because it is literally what I come to watch. If it is not taking away from any other aspects in your life, I don’t see why it would be a problem. You work hard and you have no debt so it is your business what you do with your money. I personally think your channel and collection are fabulous! We are here for a blip in time so I say enjoy every second of it!

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you so much!

[@nmernst]

I think we all have something we are, let's just say passionate about. For some it is toxic and destructive unfortunately. I also like to shop and handbags lol but I try to keep it in perspective, sell on or donate what clearly no longer serves a purpose and the like. If we have our priorities straight, and are merely bringing ourselves some joy in this crazy world, then I say it's worth it. Thanks for sharing :)

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you so much!

[@jeanettenfreeland1408]

I have a shopping addiction as well I get off the high I get from the shopping I do

[@ameliarosescloset]

I love it!

[@jeanettenfreeland1408]

@@ameliarosescloset me too

[@JanGlow]

I love shopping too, it’s my favorite thing 😁

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you so much!

[@lv_lover3393]

I don’t think someone who had a tonic addiction would be making this video ! I think your strong enough to stop when it stops being enjoyable. But I think most of us are a little handbag obsessed and I’m ok with that ❤

[@ameliarosescloset]

Thank you so much!!

[@sunset33533]

I noticed that my shopping tendencies were tied to unhealthy expectations and view of myself. A cute small book called "30 Days to Stop Being a Shopaholic" by Harper Daniels helped me with some meditation and mindfulness exercises to change my perspective of myself and control things better.

[@ameliarosescloset]

Thanks for sharing!!

[@lolipena8051]

like you i have controls in place. i also listen to my gut that says, hey stop its a little too much, hold on, and also if you want it, how about let go of something else. i miss shopping/hunting for the next bag each month or every other month. it feels like you let some part of you go. last time i shopped was early May 2023 and it feels like forever! but there are other things i want/we need as a household. so the responsible thing to do was to cut my bag shopping... ban island.

[@ameliarosescloset]

my gut keeps me in check as well, it will pull me back

[@measson123]

Maybe the bigger question is what impact does this kind of extensive shopping/consumerism have on the world at large? The environmental impact alone is staggering. Toxic behaviors aren't limited to what is not good for us personally, but what is detrimental in the bigger picture. A good place to start is asking oneself if things would be better or worse if everyone else were behaving and doing as I do. You're not going into debt, not impacting yourself or your family financially, and you're not "out of control" and consider it a "well managed" behavior. One way or another, you do seem to feel the need to defend yourself and that suggests there's conflict around this topic somewhere. Check into the impact the fashion industry and luxury handbags in particular have on the environment. Unless your purchases are all vintage, you're complicit, as we all are to some degree. The degree, however, is and should be a choice--and a conscious & intentional one.

[@ameliarosescloset]

The environmental and consumption issue is a factor, as is the fact i have a hang over from younger years and having no money, that’s not easy to shake i find

[@MariaRodriguez-om1yi]

I honestly think that five years from now if not less, you will think that it’s an addiction even though you don’t think that now and you will think it’s unhealthy and you won’t want to continue at this pace, you don’t have to be in debt to still have a problem and an addiction… and technically an addiction is something that takes over you and it doesn’t mean that it Hass to ruin your life or ruin your finances. It just means somethings controlling you and that’s never good.

[@ameliarosescloset]

interesting, thank you

[@aurska4061]

I just bought my first luxury bag for 3000+ and a part of me is telling myself the things I could do with that money 😅. I almost even bought a leather strap that goes with it for 500€ but realized that that is definitely not worth it 😂… What would be great for you is for you channel to grow enough that your KZbin income (side job) would finance your handbags, and at the same time review bags for us😊.

[@ameliarosescloset]

the money from KZbin def helps with it, but it would need to grow quite a bit more yet!!

[@gkr7019]

Amelia I like watching luxury hauls from fashion influencers. Love all the bags esp the classic high end like Hermes, Chanel, Dior etc but I never buy any of these bags cos they are way out of my league. I prefer to put my money into high purchases like real estate properties that bring me continous streams of passive income. I am semi retired and v comfortable at this stage of my life. Enjoy fashion too but my lifestyle is now v minimalistic. When I was younger I bought handbags that just function its purpose. Occasionally I do splurge on one or two Gucci and Dior bags that still stands the test of time . So to me having the financial confidence of never being in debt is indeed a luxury.

[@ameliarosescloset]

I think as my life goes on and towards semi retirement, I will have a lot less, what would I do with them!

[@isadorasmiles9339]

At the end of the day, if whatever you spend your time doing/spending brings you happiness, you have no guilt about it, it doesn’t hinder relationships, quality of life, or cause financial burden then it’s not an addiction. It just enhances your life. However if what you do brings any negative thoughts or emotions surrounding it then I think it takes some self reflection to see why those negative emotions come up. Maybe you’ll find the thing you though my brought you joy was actually just a coping mechanism to shield you from something you fear or dislike about yourself or where you are in your life. Sometimes the burden isn’t the financial but is an emotional burden. Not to say that is the case for you but I think is another form of how one could be shopping for the wrong reasons, to be filling a void and not addressing the true issues within themselves

[@ameliarosescloset]

Thank you

[@agenteducateur]

Thing is, can you afford that without ignoring your expenses and health insurance etc? This isn’t about feeling good it’s about not being in debt for a bag etc. so yeah addiction is the word and it’s as bad as it sounds.

[@ameliarosescloset]

yes as I said in the video, everything else is accounted for

[@kimberlyfink1032]

I think COVID triggered a lot in our society where we all wanted to let loose a bit for a while but I am seeing a lot of people reshifting to priorities. We don't have to look back and regret. You did it for a time and a reason for a season. You can do it until you want to do something else. I do find it challenging to optimize my "I'm satisfied" muscle. As I bring things in, I have to ask am I satisfied or if it adds to my life or not. It is work because there is so much at our fingertips and can easily overwelm us. So much of the 1st world countries are addicted to commercialism.

[@ameliarosescloset]

This is a very true comment

[@alanbirkner1958]

I like craft materials. I set tight limits. You enjoy your purses. Tina, Al's wife

[@ameliarosescloset]

Love that!

[@NathanWilder-wp8iq]

I don’t think you have a problem at all and you could be doing something a lot worse lol 😂 you always consider what you buy and look at your collection and say I don’t need that I’ve got something similar! You love it! It makes you happy and it’s like a hobby or a lifestyle that fits into your life alongside everything else you do. Work with out pleasure is sad. You have earned it spend on what you want and love life. 💖

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you so much!

[@dapperlygrungy3189]

I have to comment. I think I can relate. I don't shop as much as you, but I do tend to buy things I don't need. For example. I bought 2 pairs of Prada Downtown Sneakers Yesterday. One in White and One in Red/Black each costing me $1070. Do I need them? Of course not. I see myself wearing them with certain high street outfits that will complete the look. I also am placing an order on A Bally Backpack which is on sale for $1150. Do I need it? NO. Have I ever in the past had the need for a backpack? Yes, back in college when I had to carry books. The reason why I am ordering these items is because they look so good on, especially when paired with outfits. I feel like a runway model...LOL. To be honest, it does take me a while to wear them out in fear that I may come to my senses that I really should bring them back. And to be fair some, I have, and some, I've kept. Here is the Prada Downtown sneakers I purchase early this year in Black/White. I will soon have 3 Prada sneakers in different colorways in my collection which I don't need. But I do enjoy wearing them around the house. Please ask your husband what he honestly thinks of them, please? kzbin.info/www/bejne/hXvTh3SmaJiNoJY

[@ameliarosescloset]

he says they are 'sharp!" - that is high praise! I love those trainers

[@dapperlygrungy3189]

@@ameliarosescloset WOW! Thank you. It justifies me keeping one. I think I'm keeping the Black/White. I returned the Red/Black today - I came to my senses. And I might bring back the All-White in the next week - maybe...LOL. Thank you for asking your husband

[@Jazzelise]

Can you make a video about your transition to your current business and financial success. You mentioned multiple income streams and some don't even know where to begin to establish that. This video is very important. Thank you for sharing. I believe there are matters you broughtbup that you can further elaborate on in separate videos.

[@ameliarosescloset]

I used to make those videos on a separate channel but i can do one here

[@christineanderson487]

im addicted to shopping. i just like lots of cute clothes, shoes n bags. i think it stems from being poor and never having enough clothes or hammy down from my sis. my mom would dress me in dresses that showed my underwear and i got teased alot. i had to steal my clothes as a teen. i have money now and have bags n bags of new clothes but its never enough.......

[@katemiller7874]

I hear you for me it was not having the clothes but also school supplies. There were 4 of us they did the best they could. I didn’t buy handbags until my kids graduated college. Now I do what I want. So I understand you

[@ameliarosescloset]

this is interesting

[@christineanderson487]

i dont buy luxury now just regular stuff

[@Restless318]

I think your fine you are not in debt and take care of family you do not put family in danger I think we make feel bad we like love Bags I know as man I love briefcases and buy and get so many people talking

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you so much!

[@ericacosta987]

People really should let others live and mind their business! Just say you can’t afford it/spend that kind of money/ it’s not for you and go live your life!! Let others live

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you so much!

[@kimberlyfink1032]

I had another thought. Have you ever calculated what you have spent in luxury bags, clothes, shoes, makeup? If you took that amount off your mortgage , what would your mortgage be or what does that do to a retirement account with compound interest when you retire? I wonder if that reframes your perspective. You could live on a beach. You could have a paid off house. You could retire early. Luxury bags are too easy of goals and you have already done it all. Your dreams are too small.

[@ameliarosescloset]

Nope, i haven’t. But i know it would def add a chunk to our retirement. We aren’t ready to retire or live on the beach yet, but it’s in the plan and i think a lot will be sold before we make that move

[@kimberlyfink1032]

@@ameliarosescloset us either. We have young kids so it keeps us young and since we have that lifestyle of stability, it makes sense to work. We are socking it away taking advantage of the rule of 72. Will double at least one more time if not two. No one told me how much you can get done in your 40's. Of course, you could keep everything but I find numbers interesting to put things into context. Not to sell but to know.

[@accountingforluxury]

The fact that women can’t buy expensive things with their own money without being called addicted and shamed 🙄🙄🙄 you clearly have a budget, you stick to it, you sell to bring in funds when you feel you need to, but if you aren’t in debt/going hungry/ skipping bills to fund it then it’s not an addiction. It’s an enjoyment, an indulgence, and a hobby.

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you so much! I love this x

[@KatherineInToronto]

girl, no one would be harrassing you if you were collecting fridge magnets. bags are your hobby. when did we start pooping on people for having interests that cost money? you don't have to justify yourself to anyone although i do enjoy when you share about your financial planning strategies. fwiw, your joy brings me (and many others) joy so add that to your overall balance sheet when you assess the impact of your purchases.

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you so much!

[@DeeDee_Bean]

Gosh Amelia first let me say I’m sorry if people are negative to you about your collection and shopping 🛍️. Second I want to say that I’m releasing a video today which I tagged you in and thanked you about your video about Hiding your Luxury purchases. I completely understood the sentiment and the words behind that video as it touched deeply some of my own feelings and where I came from financially. I too love shopping 🛍️ I talked about what shopping means to me in my video about Autoimmune Disease and how it affects how I buy or don’t buy handbags. In that video I talked about how it was a social thing for me and my family and it didn’t always mean actually buying something , but I definitely could do damage even at a Dollar store if I was ready to buy. I completely understand that your financial situation is on a complicated different level than I am and I am on a completely different level than others. So I personally do not think you are addicted simply at the amounts you spend. If I were purchasing the bags you had at retail prices at my spending level at the rate you purchase then yes that would be an addiction on many levels, but I like you have multiple bank accounts for different purposes and we do not cross those expenses. So this is a discipline you can do whether you have a meager account or a substantial account. In fact it’s more imperative to have multiple accounts when you have less to help save. There were and are times that only $5 goes into my “fun money “ account but that is our guilt free money that we can enjoy what we wish knowing the bills are paid. Thank you for your bravery at putting this up for discussion. I wonder if this is why your Amelia talks channel post are no longer available?? Thanks for sharing 🙏👛🛍️🚢

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you so much!

[@mpumimg6000]

People want to place rules on other people's lives. Enjoy the shopping, you work for your money. Any subscriber who is uncomfortable by your shopping, who gets triggered, must put a pause in watching your videos, as simple as that. I hide my shopping at times from my hubby, it's a married thing we do😂 my husband knows, it's a running joke in my family. He will see me with a new bag, or clothing and laugh... "Did you hide that purchase ? " It brings no pain because we manage all our finances well. He always upgrades his car features, I also laugh about it when he shows me his new additions. He has his thing. I have mine. People must stop projecting their personal issues to others.

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you so much!

[@euniceng4685]

Hi Amelia, in my own opinion, i don't think your addiction is toxic. You are buying things that you love and make you happy. I believe that your monthly bills and family are well taken care of before you get a new bag, i think it perfectly fine for you. You work hard, you deserve a reward for yourself.

[@ameliarosescloset]

thank you so much!

[@phyllisnicholas2603]

I don’t believe that you are addicted to shopping. You seem to manage your money carefully, and plan your shopping accordingly. In your case, I think for you shopping is an enjoyable experience, almost like a hobby. You seem to be very practical. My husband and I worked our behinds off and, managed our money well. As a 68 year old woman, my advice to you is, embrace yourself and enjoy what makes you happy.

[@ameliarosescloset]

Thank you x

[@Seemstobereal]

There is positively some guilt I feel when I buy luxury bags ..I would not say toxic but watching luxury KZbin positively encourages the shopping habit. Also I never sell because you lose so much money. I don’t think your shopping is toxic either since you love your bags and you enjoy it. Also you sound like you are managing your money well.

[@ameliarosescloset]

losing money on selling is frustrating !