addressing the question about my "step" son

[@mayam5353]

Sometimes as a boy gets older he wants more dad time and learn things from his dad more and he is getting older and wants to experience school year time with you and hopefully maybe later in the school year or next school year he can try it out. My heart goes out to his mom because I'm sure it's hard changing things and I know she loves her babies so much

[@leighahoisington1415]

i’m sure he also wants to be with the twins more too

[@DANNYTHEFROG123]

It's great when kids can say who they want to spend more time with it and the adults make it happen for them. It's not personal. Normal for boys to want to spend teen years more with dad. Because they identify with same sex parent more.

[@archiesleaven3233]

Coming from 15 year old boy that’s facts 👍

[@thatblvckhippie1911]

It's not just about gender either. I moved in with my dad whenever I asked just because I wanted to be around him and have a change of scenery. 🤎

[@dominiquexo4772]

So true.. my son wants to live with his dad full time but his wife is disrespectful and I refuse to let my son live with him. Am I wrong?

[@maddiehardesty8557]

I understand how Tommy’s mom may be feeling. However as a child of divorcees I wish things were more up to the child. By the mom allowing Tommy to continue building his strong bond with his dad, she’s in turn earning so so much respect from Tommy for listening to his wishes. I just hope the best comes from the situation for his sake ❤️

[@caroleenherman2469]

3e31qq1

[@roelipomm4106]

as a child of split parents it's definitely important to live primarily with the parent you decide... i think by 5th grade they should be making their own decisions at least.

[@amymarienaglowsky4464]

I agree

[@enadalton2511]

Same. I had to wait into I was 18. To be able live with my dad.

[@zoesvlogs1575]

Ena Dalton why did you have to wait until then?? was it because of the courts?? i’m asking because i’m in the same boat right now, and my son wants to live with me and he’s five. I have 80% of the time regardless, but his Mom likes to have that control. at what age can he decide where he wants to live full time?? do you know?

[@mmeadows1014]

Girl your coparenting is insane. You’re so accommodating to everyone’s needs/wants! And I just also have to say Addie is frieking GORGEOUS. All of your babies are 🙂

[@wowzatrishiebunz]

My son asked to move in with his dad at age 12 and I agreed he could. It’s hard to make everyone happy when the parents have differing opinions. Very mature on your views about the situation. I love Chris, love him! Jessica, you are so lucky.

[@adoseofj]

Can I just say you validating your son's feelings and allowing him to make such a big choice for himself is amazing! I know it had to be hard to let him go but you're doing awesome Mama! 💙

[@ilTHfeaa]

Jess you're posting EVERY DAY and I LOVE IT 😭 just remember to take care of yourself and don't work too hard!!

[@swaggylee7825]

Yepp she gets more time to edit bc the kids are in school now

[@ilTHfeaa]

@@swaggylee7825 i know i just wanna make sure she takes time for herself too

[@ilTHfeaa]

@Mental health it's bc the kids are back in school, i just wanna make sure she takes care of herself :)

[@XXMAC78]

She is able to edit now! 😝

[@tracianderson9823]

@@XXMAC78 plus she has a better PC built to edit vlogs. Lots of things are coming together st the same time. ❤❤❤

[@kaytlynmccarter8552]

I wanted to live with my dad after living with my mom primarily for years. I totally understand what Tommy is feeling. In Oklahoma the age of choice is 14, but it may be different in California. The judge will listen to what the kid wants after they are 10, so Tommy should be able to express his want in the court to help your case. My mom is a great mom too, but I am a huge daddy’s girl. Sometimes it all just comes down to what the child wants, and neither parent should keep them from that!

[@taylorbayless7633]

So true. I am from Oklahoma and I have so many friends that their parents do the opposite all they do is argue and try and keep their kids from the other parent

[@Quila1125]

i wish my friends kids could choose who they wanna be with. their only 8, 9 and 10. they wanna live with their mom but their dad has custody. they live with grandma too. its sad cause they wanna live with their mom so bad shes remarried good job house. i just dont get the courts. in ohio their usually for the mom. unfortunaly their dad rather hurt the mom but in return it hurts kids. if only he would put kids wants and needs first.

[@kathikamholz2100]

Exactly. Tommy'll be 11 the end of Dec, so he should be listened to by the judge

[@nieceyllera8594]

You’re totally right! This is the case with my daughter she’s such a daddy’s girl and wants to live with him. (4 hours away from me) and although the decision is tearing me up I also have to do what’s best for her and what she wants.

[@saraH-yu1mx]

No they won’t. A child has to be 14 in CA and there are so many factors involved.

[@Lexaloodle]

The communication between your blended families is beautiful. I commend you for being so open and loving. Tommy has a good head on his shoulders and I know he will end up where he will be best. (And no offense to the mom. She seems amazing. I'm sure as a child you have to wonder what it would be like with the other parent and that's OK!)

[@Graceroadto3k]

Have they talked about tommy and cadens mum recently

[@tracianderson9823]

@@Graceroadto3k They are very respectful and give her privacy. They talk around the situation if that make sense and try to be a respectful as possible.

[@AmberKober]

I’m not gonna shit on anyone else for being able to do more than I can 😂 If you are a morning person who can pull yourself together and form sentences and happily get your kids to school then more power to you, I’ll see you at night when I’m thriving.

[@JesssFam]

Retweeeet 😂👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@JeonLife93]

Preach it sister. 👏👏👏🤣🤣 I call school mornings "mombie mode" like a zombie but mumma version 🤣

[@BarilFamily2024]

Ugh yes girl yes !!!

[@Ambernie85]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@indydouma1385]

Yesss, I don't think she was shitting on them though, more like sharing a little pet peeve about people holding up the drop off line:)

[@opalseabourn4270]

As a mom I saw this from my point of view. I would die without my kids, that has to be really hard for her. Tommy is still young to. Wish yall all lived close so he could have all of yall morw often.

[@robynstrangward4364]

I’d like to thank you from the 12 year old me. Letting your kid to have this choice. Letting them be kids. I never got that & it’s so amazing watching this pure love.

[@izabellawhaid5562]

I love it how whenever anyone else sponsors something I would skip it but with her I just watch it I just love it🥰

[@janejs3320]

Me too!🥰😍

[@MoriieJaseyda]

You can tell Chris really want his son with him🥺 praying it work out

[@idk9450]

As a child of divorced parents, I am pretty sure the age for when a child gets to decide which parent they are going to live with is 12. Love you all Jesssfam and hope this helps! ❤️

[@mad.m_805]

Are they still allowed to do split custody if the child wants it

[@Charis6540]

It’s different in every state but ca is 14 and they still don’t get to make the decision 100% but at 14 the judge will let a child tell them where they would like to live

[@gabbymartino7703]

Not true in my case. i couldn’t choose to not see one parent until i was 18

[@nieceyllera8594]

They don’t necessarily get to “decide” but the judge will take their choice into consideration

[@JaydenRaelee]

This is true for some states! I’m in WA & the age there is 12! So when I turned 12, despite what the court order said, what I wanted went.

[@cindrellakshetre]

I love how Jess has such a pure heart about her kids like she is the mom who can punish kids when they get in trouble but not the mom who makes the kids hate her does anyone get it like I wish I can be a mother like a her atleast a little bit

[@janejs3320]

Well said!!❣

[@jaydnney8418]

That smile when you picked up your kids❤️❤️ Awe! You guys clearly love your kids so dearly!!! Heart warming😊😊😊

[@meganlopez560]

I hope Tommy’s mom does the right thing and let him come live with you guys like he’s wants to. He’s lived with her since the beginning. It’s time for him to be with his dad. Chris should have just as much rights as the mom. I hope it all works out the way Tommy wants it to!

[@jennperez689]

I understand where she’s coming from also like he said you wouldn’t want your kid to leave but at the same time if he wants to then

[@saraH-yu1mx]

🙄

[@myreality5959]

That's very fair. Like Chris is doing a good thing. He could be hard and say nope he's coming now. But he's working with baby mama to make it work as best as possible

[@ajmtapia319]

All of my kids are in school now too. Its such a weird feeling. So exciting but so sad at the same time.

[@Victfriesen]

This girrrrlll is on fiiirreeee 🔥🔥🔥 just me barely scraping by with my 3 kids…. and Jess with 7 kids , several pets, and vlogging and editing non stop! You go girl !

[@1990vm]

I honestly just love and admire how Chris listens to his kids and doesn’t she brush off their feelings. Another dad would ignore that wish especially cause of the court order and explain to them that’s not possible but the fact that he will take things further aka fight for what his son truly wants is just amazing. I can understand bio mom but he’s older and she shouldn’t take it to heart. As boys get older they might just wanna spend more time with dad and that’s okay . I hope she gives the green light and in all honesty if he doesn’t like it and or change his mind , he can always go back to how it was.

[@amandagomez923]

Bearded dragons are the best pets for kids. I have one and he's so personable. It's also a great way to teach lessons to kids.

[@emely.M1]

Okay My daughter has been begging for one and I know close to nothing about them Can you please share more info? What kind of lamps they need? What do they eat? Special Care? Any info that can help! I want to do this right🖤

[@DenaMarie90]

@@emely.M1 there’s TONS of research out there. You’ll be lost for weeks reading all of it lol but from what I’ve heard from friends, they’re relatively easy pets and such a joy to be around.

[@tschandraheinze1680]

There is a 100% spasific age and i do know the age is different in California then Alaska. I agree with yoh guys what will be will be and it will all work out how it should. As a parent it is far from easy but the best thing to always know is you will be his Dad always or Mom always 💙 hugs from Alaska Tschandra 🤗 ♥

[@McCreaFamilyHomestead]

Grammy sent Dyson to sponsor you ❤️.. our bearded dragon LOVES those nasty roaches lol. We tried to raise them but our cats said nope and had fun with them. We do 1 dozen extra large crickets with calcium on them twice a week. They definitely need the protein weekly. Other days he gets cut up bell peppers peeled and diced apples or greens.

[@clairevaleski6598]

I work in a school and some of my kids thrive more when they are with different parents, some kids are connected deeper to their mom over dad and vice versa, hopefully Tommy can express those thoughts and feelings, and eventually be where he feels like he can thrive more. ❤️

[@aziebababy]

Talking from a psychological perspective... it will be amazing that Tommy's voice could be heard. If he feels that's what he wants go for it. Just listen. For his mental and emotional health.. If parents don't do it now, in the future.. they won't tell anything else to you.

[@sdmomxs3]

I remember when my kids were all little and needy. Sometimes I wished the days would hurry by. Now they’re growing and self sufficient and I wish the days would never end 🥺

[@Rosewolf29]

Since Kaden is so good at riddles, I know a couple he might like. Their from Redwall by Brian Jacques, an awesome book series. Lilia might like the songs and Kaden would like the riddles.

[@1111ampm]

Good not to rush it is different dynamics from holidaying to staying full time seeing siblings all the time so much respect being sensitive to all parties

[@baileyelaine]

i feel like Jess is one of the rare youtubers that actually gives honest reviews and doesn’t lie when doing sponsorships

[@JeonLife93]

Definitely! She's mentioned multiple times she will not take a sponsorship if she herself wouldn't use it, doesn't agree with it etc. I find a lot of KZbinrs will just take whatever and not actually use it themselves nor even know much about it x

[@crystalretzena5360]

I love how the girls have two different personalities Lillia hates makeup and getting her hair done and addie ask for makeup and her hair done addie maybe a daddy's girl but she differently alot like her momma

[@raghadnjjar7714]

Jess posting everyday 🤝 helping so many people in so many different ways

[@beckbeck5110]

For real 💛💛💛

[@cruzinbosco]

I'm with Chris on the shoes. Those are prison sandals, just in different colors. lol

[@lillyabell3808]

I am a child in a co parenting relationship with a step mom, There is an age and in my state I get a lot of say, not final, at 16 Also jess You are probably the best step/ bio mom ever

[@aubrayolson383]

The remark from chris saying “you never want to let your kids walk out the door” and Jess is in the back smirking has me dying😂😭

[@Kaur-anmol97]

Ehmmm Drake lol

[@mimi-yt7gq]

I know where I live the age to decide is 13. The child gets assigned an advocate and a study is done on both houses and then it goes to the judge. That is if the parents do not agree.

[@JeonLife93]

Addy is SUCH a little cutie pie! 🥺 I still remember that little tiny bubba! All of the kids have shot up majorly in the last year, now Lilia looks like a teenager already it's insane! Happy one year of being part of the Fam Mango! 😍 Also, thanks for updating us on Tommy's situation. Just makes me a little sad cos you can see in Chris's face how much he'd love him living with you, both the boys. But that being said, it's a difficult situation when it comes to co-parenting and obviously we don't know what goes on behind the scenes, nor do we nee too as it's your business. But I hope its all okay! X

[@nicolecrotty5078]

In Australia children aged 12 can say whom they wish to live with providing its a safe environment

[@shoenan2294]

I wonder if Jess knows she will only have 6 months when all the kids are teens, Addie will turn 13 about 6 months before Lilia turns 20!!!

[@Chloe.Miller21]

I'm sure she does, I mean, she birthed most of them lol 🤣🤣🤣🤣 my parents had teenagers in the house for 2 years before I turned 20 back in July

[@shoenan2294]

@@Chloe.Miller21 Yeah it was more of a rhetorical question, like I'm sure she technically knows but whether the realisation has actually set in 😂

[@goldenwidow8937]

I understand, my parents are divorced and my brother wants to live with my mom whereas, I live with my dad.

[@cheriwebster2120]

Oh my gosh! I love this presentation! We have this same vacuum, mounted on the wall by the kitchen and back patio door. Since living with my daughter, I hardly ever use this vacuum. But if I spill sugar droplets, or cereal in kitchen, I go to use it and spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to get if off it’s storage bracket on the wall. I wish you would add to the video that it just lifts up to take off and you do not need to find a button to release it to get it off to use it. Extremely easy to use. Pokémon Grandma Cheri

[@KaliaNicole1996]

Okay I thought Addie was a daddy’s girl until I seen the end where you guys were cuddling ☺️☺️ so sweet

[@hediavery9962]

We had our bearded dragon for 12 almost 13 years. He ate everything. I occasionally gave him a pinky or mouse. They don’t have to eat mice cause too many can make them fat lol.

[@tanishapillai8063]

Second, jessfam notification is enough for me to drop everything and jump on KZbin. ❤️❤️ Never been this loyal/ committed to anything in my life.

[@christinae.8019]

Have a great day everyone 🥰🥰 remember you are beautiful, you are worthy, and there is always someone to listen 🥰🥰( I'm here if you need me 🥰)

[@teenlove02]

I think we took an update on the intro, the guys are growing up really fast 🥺. Llilia and big Caden are nowhere near being teenagers, crazy 🤯

[@kaylawilliams588]

In January she’s going to.

[@abby6610]

She’s 11 and thirTEEN

[@Julia-gz1jj]

@@abby6610 what cadens not 13

[@Travelwithkade27]

@@abby6610 they are both 11 caden is 12 in October

[@madelynnfender]

This is an amazing thing to talk about. My stepson said he wants to live with his dad but since he lives in another state with his mom they decided to wait till he graduates high school (he is a freshman now) and then move in with us for college

[@annshepardmurray5652]

Jess there is this super cute Mickey ghost hanging decoration at lows or Home Depot idk for sure and i think you would love it

[@hannamcclure5052]

This is the earliest I’ve been to watch a JessFam video! ❤️ makes me happy haha

[@madi-olivia07]

I love JesssFam!! You can genuinely feel Jessica’s love for her children through her videos ♥️

[@kayleeadams1105]

I know what you're talking about about having "older" kids! In Childhood and Family Studies, there are actually "stages of life/parenting" that consist of Couples, parents of infants, parents of school age children, parents of adolescents, and then middle age and old age! So you are literally in a new chapter of life! I might be a little off with the titles because I was in that class two years ago, but that is the basis!

[@ArmyWife8697]

I love Lillia's outfit. My daughter has been wanting cargo pants like those but she isn't comfortable enough to actually wear them.

[@brooklyn147]

Never goes wrong with some Jess in our lives

[@Jbugsmomma01]

I've heard that in most states the age a child can say where they want to live is 12. Cudos to you guys.tho for being informative without being disrespectful! It has to be tough to navigate at times; but I feel that you did fine in how you explained things and you still have him many times throughout the year. Maybe those times just.become a lil more precious...ya know?! 💙

[@roxanneconradson]

Jessss what’s up fam!! How’s everyone today? You are all amazing ❤️💚

[@Ke11yJean]

I was watching some older vlogs when I got the notification for this one. Perfect timing!!

[@leahc2474]

Wow Chris is wearing a red shirt not black. Good things come to those who wait

[@hayleymoore5817]

It’s hard as a mother to let your babies go but if it’s what he wants I think she will eventually get on board. It’s also hard considering the boys wouldn’t be together and a lot of people want the siblings to be together and have same schedule so it’s not confusing. Y’all are doing the best you can though! As a step mom who’s been through it y’all have helped with my co parenting a lot! ❤️

[@emilyelisabeth7131]

Omg I’m so early if you see this you always make me smile and make my day better, I’ve been feeling horrible recently but your videos make me feel better so thank you so much! 💕💕💕

[@samgabriele9547]

From what I’ve been told as a child of split parents and a co parenting parent, the legal age they can “decide” and have a say in court about where they want to be is 12 years old. I don’t think it’s changed but I could be wrong.

[@cathychamberlain4452]

Love your family! Thanks for taking us along🤗😇🤪 I live about an hour hour away😎❤️

[@milliesmith9669]

Gonna be honest my life has been a fire for the last half a year and I haven’t been watching KZbin or doing anything and now I come back and addie is in school omg my heart I love your videos x

[@user-lt7so1fj2r]

WHEN ARE YOU GUYS DOING A HOUSE TOUR?!?!

[@sandrajohnson4233]

The age is 14. The courts have to allow the child to address the court and express their choice. In the end it is one factor... ultimately judge makes decision. Younger children can still address the court if it is deemed appropriate and consistent with best interest of the child.

[@kaylak.2430]

Girl you need to invest in a self cleaning litter box. You can get them on Amazon! LIFE CHANGER!!!!

[@humairailyanni5005]

Im so happy that I have you on the notification bar every morning🙌🏻

[@gracemiller27]

These videos always brighten up my day! ILY Jess ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@katierife5549]

I am a child of divorced parents and depending on the state at age 14 or 16 a child can decide where they want to live/with which parent the want to live with. I know that at age 16 my older brother was able to tell my dad that he didn’t want to go anymore. I’m sure that it changes throughout different states but I live in PA and yeah. Also I love you so much!! I watch you everyday even when there isn’t a new episode. You are my goal as a mother!

[@popicalbubbles]

These vlogs are everything but please don't stress yourself out too much with it :)

[@melissalove2463]

You are truly an AMAZING Father , Husband & Man Chris ! 💕👍🏻❤️👍🏻💕

[@sarahmavignierr]

I swear to god this channel is my one infalible dose of serotonin for the past like 10 years. Through thick and thin. (Totally forgot to say that before 'cause the comments were disabled for so long)

[@allisonbaker6919]

Hey Jess! Please remember to relax when the kids are in school. I love that your posting everyday but I want you to relax sometimes 😊😊

[@alexakabat4277]

Yay jesssfam I love that the comments have been on so exciting

[@PritchLife]

I was just about to go to bed …. Sleep is overrated, right?? 😂😂

[@marissataylorproductions2425]

Addy & her makeup obsession is my absolute favvvv her smile when you put the mascara on her was priceless 😂

[@emiliawilkinson7085]

Every night before I go to bed I pull up the KZbin app and watch your daily video. Best part of my day. Loving these every day vlogs! 🧡🥺

[@umisunderstood_]

Wow Jess you are SOO amazing at editing!! You are such a BOSS MOM 💯🔥

[@amandarichardson460]

Addelyn is a natural at gymnastics! I love to watch your kids grow in dance and gymnastics and you all as a family!! Love u jess!!!🥰

[@vitoriazurc1642]

Chris is an incredible human, I love this men!

[@P1NKK_CL0UDSS]

So proud of you Jess your doing so well with posting every day I’ll always love and support your channel

[@CookingBakingRandomness]

Idk how to feel about those shoes lol. As long as you love them and they are comfortable for you, that’s all that matters. Dyson is amazing!! I love that Grammy was a big supporter of their products. I hope that Tommy’s desire will come true. I know what it would mean to you and to him. Thank you for sharing your life with us.

[@jlynct]

Hi Jess! So excited to be early enough for comments! Best day!

[@thevlogsoflife2998]

i clicked faster then chris can say whats up fam love you

[@melissacameron5986]

So much respect for your handling of this situation ☺️ very healthy

[@vjannelle723]

Man Lilia looks so grown now. I remember sweet tiny baby Lilia

[@racheltaylor9161]

We have the same situation. The child wants to move and live with us, but the mother is stopping it. Very difficult situation for everyone.

[@jeallen7]

In Texas at 13 or 14 you can choose which parent you want to live with and so I chose to move from my moms to my dads and it was probably the best choice for me. My mom wasn’t very happy about it but I feel like as an adult it made our relationship stronger.

[@isabellacamilo1000]

Can we all thank Jess for posting everyday so far on KZbin. Love your videos!

[@otakuxhunter2753]

i have never clicked so fast off of my hero academia videos until i saw this pop up-

[@jenablochwitz645]

Bugs are gross, but totally here for our pets eating our bugs 😂 I love when my cat gets a fly 😅😅 Jess, your sandals look like loaves of French bread to me!! 🍞

[@Emily.Marsh472]

I am so happy that jess is posting everyday like yasss

[@esim4582]

Oh my Addy is growing up she's getting so big. Her sweet little smile after u put mascara on 😊😍

[@mirrorballmik]

these vlogs make my lifeee

[@Lily92691]

“lizard-dog” - JesssFam, 2021 😂

[@LorraineVirginie]

Jess is the absolute best youtuber ive ever seen when it comes to making her product placements look natural and appealing. Omg I want this vacuum after this lol.

[@JesssFam]

This comment means so much to me you have no idea 🥺 I try soooo hard to make even my sponsored videos fun to watch! Thank you for your comment 💛

[@josiecooper7827]

@@JesssFam After watching your video from a few days ago I bought one of the Thred Up goodie boxes! You definitely sold it for me🙃

[@LorraineVirginie]

@@JesssFam I can tell you take the time to really choose products you support too which makes it even better! Also, yay for comments being open!!!!

[@Itsjollyholly]

Finally early and not a day late 😂 loving all this content. Please take time for yourself and have fun!! Love y’all!

[@itskatiemooney0622]

You guys are so incredibly nice and Mature with everything! Love this channel! ❤️

[@nancyfarkas3592]

It’s so much better for the kids when parents can get along. My brother and his ex couldn’t and it shows with their kids

[@KaylaNatalie]

Jess your upload game is ON POINT!❤️

[@joeyp7431]

You have to be careful of what the kids see too. It's not fair for them to see one parent slagging off the other is it. Its far better to be amicable even if you hate each other ❤

[@Jaymie199]

Hey Jess! Long long long term watcher since the twins! No hate at all but can i ask - your very concious about saying they all your children but how come in the titles its always *step* son ❤️❤️ All my love x

[@jenibrynard6856]

I’m guessing because it helps differentiate between her bio kids and Chris’ bio kids. I’ve been a step mom for 10 years, and I refer to them as my step child even though they live with my husband and I 100% of the time. I don’t think there is anything wrong with referring to them as my step child, and I don’t have an issue with them calling me their step mom. That’s who I am. “Step” has historically had a negative connotation, but it doesn’t have to. Also, I think it’s the right thing to do out of respect for the boys mom which is also the right thing to do.

[@Jaymie199]

@@jenibrynard6856 Yeah totally up to her and that makes total sense! It was genuinely just a question i had wondering because in many videos she mentions she doesn’t like using the phrase step children shes used phrases like bonus two etc. I have no problem with it at all i call my step mum my step mum and its always worked for us! But i suppose i was just wondering x

[@cat021886]

She addressed it sometime last year about how she doesn’t like to call them her “step” kids but for the sake of the video and also titles she uses it in those ways. She says it helps the new we followers to understand what’s going on. I’m a OG been following since Lilia was a baby. My daughter is only 5 months younger than Lilia. I could see how a new person would get confused with so many people and similar names