Adult with Autism | Autism & December Problems | 20

[@ezzi4411]

I like December as I can get away with being so excited about one obsession (Christmas lights and decorations) and not be judged by everyone else. But I do hate it when people are suddenly nice for one month instead of being nice for the whole year.

[@AdultwithAutism]

People being fake on top of me always needing to mask too definitely makes it harder.

[@Marie-1901]

Personally, I think you have the best “intro” / “outro” of all the autistic channels I watch. I don’t have to brace myself for sudden loud music (which for me is the worst). As always, I appreciate your calming, steady, easy to listen to manner. Take good care! 🙂

[@AdultwithAutism]

Thanks Marie. I can definitely relate to that. I had headphones on once and was listening to random YT Autie creators, then after a spoken intro, music BLASTED through the headphones making me knock of a cup of tea off my desk out of the fright! Don't want to have that responsibility of spilt tea on my conscious! 😂

[@ChristinaChrisR]

Exactly, Marie!

[@ChristinaChrisR]

@@AdultwithAutism haha no you wouldn’t want THAT😆

[@arnowinnertz]

11:30 i can relate so much, it is like a huge wave colapses over me!

[@AdultwithAutism]

Haha, indeed it is!

[@grace1172]

Just had to pause at like 6 minutes in and say I HEAR YOU❄️🙏🏻☺️. You are just describing me, that part I sometimes can’t articulate. I love the rain, I’m pretty sure there is an actual term for it too. The cold, the dark and everything to do with winter. I relate so hard to you. Great video so far and I hope your brain fog lifts soon, you look tired… wow, I can’t even say how much I understand you, I just watched all the video. You explain everything, like everything and I hear and I understand and it’s literally me, and probably sooo many others. It’s incredible to be honest hearing your experiences and it’s comforting to know another human feels as I do. Honestly, thank you. Oh and sames on the Christmas song!!

[@AdultwithAutism]

Hi Grace, I've looked tired since I was 16 😂 Really glad the video was beneficial!

[@grace1172]

It was and I appreciate your honesty and content very much. Take care of yourself 🙏🏻

[@jasonclarke7422]

I find it harder with every year that passes to mask and come across as normalish, and I need more loan time to recharge my batteries to be able to do it all again the next day, the thought of having to go to a Christmas party sends chills through me, I braved to my hometown of Southampton today to get my wife’s Christmas present and just spending 30 minutes in the west quay shopping centre nearly pushed me over the edge and we it’s only the 1st of December, I understand exactly what you are saying, and you can explain things much better than I can, when I have tried to explain how I feel to my family they don’t understand and think that I’m just a miserable git.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Haha, I get the same reactions still. Guarentee my uncle will still not understand why I don't want to go over on Boxing Day...as the event is for 'good', so why wouldn't you attend. Almost as if I should turn my Autism off for the day because I clearly do it on purpose 😂

[@bryanmerton5153]

Hi Paul! First off, and this is probably the most important thing, Die Hard is a Christmas movie! Along with The Ref, and obviously Elf! Great to see you know what you need and that that eases your stress. I am the same way at work. When we arrive at a layover crew seem to always want to go out. For me its a no because I need the time alone in the hotel to recharge! Its critical. Also I have trouble multitasking and that could be the reason you focus on what you are doing at work and nothing else. The same with me. Regarding the time change, I hate it! It gets dark here around 5:30-6:00. I feel like its time for bed! Give me light until 9 pm and I am in heaven. I do love the rain. Love to walk in it on my daily walks. Never seem to mind getting soaked! Warm rains are even better! We get rain so infrequently that it makes it extra special! As for the stores. Its a problem for me in normal times. I agree that December makes it that much worse. Fortunately I do not have a big Christmas shopping list so early shopping does the trick. I laughed when you said that the stores are only closed one day and yet the crowds in the store quadruple! That is so weird and so true. I am an early riser so I am usually there when they open. Interesting about the male psyche. I have always worn my heart on my sleeve as it were and that may have been one of the reasons I got picked on! There were so many but that could be one. I was the kid who had a meltdown when the teacher put the desks in a circle one day! Why would anyone do that😆. I also cry at movies I suppose “real” men don’t do that🤣. Anyway I don’t care much for all of the personal stuff around the holidays either. When I was kid I was always sick at Christmas. I think all of the people coming over was part of the problem. I don’t get sick around the holidays anymore, but still would rather stay home then go to a party! Hey looking forward to your Christmas video! Can’t wait to hear your thoughts. Stay warm!

[@AdultwithAutism]

Hey Bryan, I cry at all sorts...nothing more so than the home renovation show DIY SOS Big Build (not sure if you have it over there). It's usually a desperate family with someone who has had an unfortunate change in health circumstance, or they have a severely disabled child who needs a lot of home adaptions...then groups of tradespersons work for free to help...then at the end, the family see the house, cry at how practical it now is, then they go outside to thank everyone with a little speech. There is usually some emotional piano music playing behind it, lots of people crying over the goodness of others...and there is me, BALLING my eyes out along with them, every single time!! 😂

[@ChristinaChrisR]

I love that you say the exact same thing (as intro) every time. Makes me know that at your channel there’s order🙏🏼😆 Ok now I’m gonna watch the rest. Scatterbrain (me, that is)

[@AdultwithAutism]

Haha, I really dont know where its come from. Who knows what it'll be in a full month's time!

[@ChristinaChrisR]

@@AdultwithAutism it’s awesome. I’m one of those who repeat things in my head - you know, it’s something that just happens, I guess, like a comforting thing? It can be a sentence (it often is). And hearing you saying your intro every time is like that. Very comforting! The thing is, I have my 24/7 jukebox in my head, as I call it. It’s always playing, never quiet. So one could wonder why I’d need to repeat sentences sometimes ALSO? Doesn’t that sound like overkill😆

[@AdultwithAutism]

Haha, the 24/7 jukebox kept me awake last night with the line 'it's Wednesday night, and you know what that means'...which is from one of the only yv shows I watch. It played over and over until it built up enough where I just needed to shout it out. Hope no one heard me, they'll think I'm a nut job.

[@ChristinaChrisR]

@@AdultwithAutism haha! I guess many of us should be immensely grateful others can’t hear weird things we say when we’re being just ourselves, alone. Not to mention what we’re thinking…😱 I guess being able to mask is very much both a blessing and a curse! Without it I wouldn’t have been able to function in society whatsoever🤣

[@zxbn4566]

Before I was able to buy a house, living as a lodger, landlords used to try and invite me to their family Christmas so I was not alone for Christmas. But like you, I absolutely want to be alone. I literally do not know what loneliness feels like. I ignore Christmas entirely, being atheist, and aim to carry on as normal (which as you mention, is challenging given the extra crowds, the changed opening hours, the suddenly-empty shelves, etc). Here in Queensland Australia, it is sweltering hot and humid in December - but we still have to have the glittery Christmas trees and fake snow. However since the pandemic in particular, it seems popular enthusiasm for the kitsch trappings of Christmas, imported from the temperate northern hemisphere, has waned, thank goodness. It is much lower key now than when I arrived here in 2006. I find it surprising that your work colleagues try to include you in the seasonal socialising, because I definitely do not get that, and they also do not ask what I am doing, or what I did, over the break. They all know I live alone by choice and they pick up pretty quickly that anything social, hedonistic or high-spirited is totally not my scene.

[@AdultwithAutism]

It's good to hear from someone who doesn't feel lonely, and understands it's absolutely possible. For everything I have ever shared on here, I am instantly discounted on this topic as it's not something others can feel. My reclusive nature is based on the contentment it brings.

[@arnowinnertz]

this all makes sense to me! thank you.

[@AdultwithAutism]

No worries Arno 👍🏻

[@emmawood1232]

Hi Paul I've got an assessment with access to work tomorrow. I hope your doing OK with your work situation.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Hope it goes well 🤞🏻

[@emmawood1232]

I hate December it's to much stress and pressure to be like everyone else and people are competing to get the best gifts. I have been talking in autistic groups about all the supermarkets moving there isles around its terrible 😥

[@AdultwithAutism]

That drives me mad too. It doesn't make me buy more things, just means it takes me a lot longer to find what I need. Then I give up and online shop!

[@catherinelevison3310]

I like the rain. I better though because I live in a rainy place. I have inexplicable aversion to the gift-giving holidays & birthdays. I don’t even know or understand the reason. Good video.

[@AdultwithAutism]

I just have trouble forcing an overly excited reaction to opening socks! 😂

[@ChristinaChrisR]

I’m the same, with everything you said there Catherine. And I live in a rainy place too. So I’m very lucky to like it! No one I know living here likes it, not one bit😆 And it rains so often, even I get fed up with it on occasion lol

[@SweetiePieTweety]

I HATE TIPS!!! 😞. They make me want to permanently check out. Just being honest. Here…. here is a tip on how to pretend to be or do something you already know you can’t do or be so we can feel like we are stepping up to the plate to give the big “try” to triumph just like that sad sad sad bad dad in the movie “Little Feet”. 🐧 ❤️ Ok, now that I’ve had my little rant I will listen to the rest of your video Paul 😜

[@AdultwithAutism]

Rants are welcome 😂

[@kimrobinson6285]

I think you're onto something when you choose to educate instead of fibbing or forcing yourself to attend something you don't want to. So true that we have to own our issues and make choices that protects us. We can only expect so much from others, so we need to advocate for ourselves. Another great video...thank you!

[@AdultwithAutism]

Many thanks 👍🏻

[@kookyrooster5615]

Liking cold weather, Guinness, Coke and hating Christmasklimbim at work... I didn't know there was somewhere out with the same basic design like me. I binge your videos for days now and relate so much. Was diagnosed with 47 two years ago always searching for relatable content. Didn't find me in many videos from younger autists because of often focusing on things that... I mean, that's not my life. But you're relatable for me, even if I'm a woman from austria. Thank you.

[@AdultwithAutism]

No problem, I am glad you found the videos.

[@shmeleu]

Guinness ))) same thing with me

[@AdultwithAutism]

It's a safe drink when you're out 😂

[@shmeleu]

@@AdultwithAutism It is indeed.

[@sallyniemann6610]

The first half on The Grinch appeals to me as a Christian movie. I agree whole heartedly with you re Christmas work parties etc, im amazed at the NT capacity for socialising. By the time NY comes they are overtired, in debt and filing for divorce. Domestic violence goes up, the entire thing is very messy. I walk a fine line to balance my life and the yuletide is an added extra i cannot cope with. Good for you Paul for naming it.

[@AdultwithAutism]

I'm taking the first week of January off just to avoid that return to work. Rather be off then than at Xmas 👍🏻

[@ahalahana2406]

I have always struggled with December for as long as i can remember. I find the whole whole run up to Christmas very stressful so much so than i am frequently burnt out by the time Christmas arrives. As you say its a cocktail of other people being overly personal asking what you are doing for xmas, lack of routine, crowded shops and also not being able to find what you need because all the shelves are overflowing with Christmas tat!!!

[@AdultwithAutism]

Absolutely 👍🏻

[@johannesnothnagel3639]

O yes! I feel exactly the same about December. The questions, the expectations, the rituals... But I have to endure a bit longer because my birthday is in January... Thank you, Paul, for sharing. Your videos give me a feeling of belonging. Although it is to a very small group😊

[@AdultwithAutism]

A small group is better than no group at all. Quality, not quantity 👍🏻

[@corriruault6394]

I love your intro, it makes me smile every time I hear “y’all right?” I really enjoy the genuine unedited style you have as well, the way you come across is great, it feels like I’m in the room with you enjoying your discourse! Keep it up, you’re my favourite you-tuber!

[@AdultwithAutism]

Ah thanks Corri, that's really nice 😁

[@DioHard]

Thanks for this and especially for being so candid. I am so relieved to hear so well formulated the exact feelings I have toward others talking about personal stuff, especially at christmas or birthdays. I don't drink, I get overwhelmed when being in a room with more than 4-5 people. I just don't enjoy going to parties, for drinks, but never once have I had the words to tell anyone without being shunned, austed, the weird one. I forced myself for more than 20 years, thinking to myself "at some point, you are gonna enjoy it!". Now finally as a mid 30's adult, I can embrace it and just started telling my closest people and they understand somewhat. But whenever it gets "too autistic" they come around again with the old: Ohh you're just depressed! - "No, I am totally happy with my cats and my brother at home, taking a solo walk in nature and gaming till late in the winter nights, to cuddle solo in my bed with 5 blankets" - and then they say something: "But are you sure you're not just telling that to yourself, because you are depressed?" So often I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. My brain dissects myself every second of every day. These observations people have about me, I had them thousands of times. I ask myself if I am genuine in what I enjoy to myself in my head. That's how far it came. I wanted to scream at them: "YOU ARE WHAT'S MAKING ME DEPRESSED!" Literally, you are indenting (depressing) my bubble of expression, by telling me that it is wrong or weird to not enjoy what you enjoy?! Anyway, I am rambling. Maybe I should make videos, too xD Cheers and have a good xmas everyone! No matter how "big" or "small" you want to experience it!

[@AdultwithAutism]

Haha, maybe you should make videos! I am a huge advocate for more Autistic Adults to get online...gets our voice out there! My answer when people say to me that I could be depressed is usually 'well you would say that, you don't know the real me'. It's an insult for an insult, but it's one worth sticking in there. Or, 'oh I am depressed too, but I am also Autistic'. They don't generally know what to do with that.

[@kristalsiders3843]

It's nice to see you and hear from you again Paul. Nowadays the whole month of December is in relation to Christmas day. Much of society begins preparing for and celebrating Christmas day at the beginning of the month. When I was younger there were many aspects of the Christmas season that I enjoyed. Now as a adult there are only a few things that I enjoy and some of them you mentioned. Overall I’d rather skip December and actual Christmas. Like you Paul there's many aspects of the month of December and Christmas that makes me feel uncomfortable. Mine have to do with some of the same reasons as you, but I have other reasons too. I stopped wanting to celebrate Christmas ever since I found out the history behind Christmas and because of what it has been turned into. I might comment on all of that when you do your Christmas video. Another great video and thank you for sharing!

[@AdultwithAutism]

Hi Kris, I definitely enjoyed it when I was younger a lot more than I do now. And I tend to find histories are always tainted as it is written by the Victor's. I tend to make events like Xmas personal so it is something for me, rather than the tradition it is based off.

[@AleshaCarson-oh3kg]

I used to say yes to everything because I was made to feel like I needed to fit in. I am now the queen of No’s. I lost a lot of people in my life even after knowing I was diagnosed with autism. I have severe sensory issues and it takes me a lot to prepare for a social function and I will then need 2-3 days of down time as I get what I call a too many people hang over. Looking back I had melt downs at Christmas as a child, how I was missed is still in question 😂. I too stand in the rain, it’s a very magical feeling for me. Driving in it or snow however is another issue all together, like too much sensory going on for it to be pleasant so I’m often at home, which really dampens trying to find stable work. You are such a ray of light, I’m very glad I came across your channel. I really had to unmask to find myself, I had been so many different people for everyone I had lost myself. I don’t think normals even understand what it’s like to have to mask so you can be accepted socially? I shoulda got an Oscar at times?!?! It’s exhausting and I like you, like my jammy pants, my snacks and my cats. The comfort of my home. It’s a predictable environment and my safe space. And I like your intro, it’s real and authentic. At 47 I find that comforting that you aren’t trying to Hollywood it. ❤️⭐️

[@AdultwithAutism]

Really glad you found the channel too. Always good to know others relate...especially with the enjoyment from rain! 👍🏻

[@kdcraft89]

Great video! I admire how open you are with people from work about not socializing. Yes, I like winter best if I can take walks outside. The rain is nice, or just s cloudy calm day. I was going to go grocery shopping at my usual place since it was on my way home, thus avoiding a separate trip. I forgot about the Christmas crowd. I pulled into the parking lot and it was a zoo! NOPE! Too many people. I just turned around and continued on home. I started to think of some other places to get groceries for the rest of the month. It will be somewhat more expensive but not vastly so. I was reminded that my Christmas tradition is this: Stay out of stores for most of the month, ha ha. Earlier in my life, I used to frequently spend Thanksgiving with a family from work. I really just wanted to be alone, but felt I had to fit in. I never enjoyed it and now I know why. They were kind to want to include me, I understand that and appreciate the good intentions. You have developed some good ways to turn down invitations. I later started to do home improvement projects over most holidays. I enjoy them and it was the only time I had enough time off work to properly do certain projects. This also gives you a good excuse to say, "Sorry, but I tore up my kitchen floor and need to put in the new one over holiday break so I can cook meals again." Or, I'm replacing my bathroom fixtures and haven't had a shower since I started the project, so you probably don't want to be around me, ha, ha."

[@AdultwithAutism]

Definitely the right time to do home projects. Not only do you avoid people, but you have something to show for it too!

[@PerteTotale]

Nice point made btw. 13:00 and 13:35

[@AdultwithAutism]

Many thanks 👍🏻

[@aumtheaum3827]

I love a Fairytale in New York. I listened to it today.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Same. What a tune 👍🏻

[@smallfruit9135]

Off ya pop Micky BUbbles 🥳😂

[@AdultwithAutism]

Never off the radio at the minute 😂

[@MsShannruggles]

I refer to that ' WALKIN & THINKIN IN A Bowl OF CLEAR GELATIN ' (yucky feeling- I CANT THINK STRAIGHT; IM So OVERWHELMED ) WELL, I CALL THAT feeling "SCHMEEENG" FOR LACK OF A BETTER WORD, PAUL. 🙂 HOPE YOURE FEELING BETTER SOON. I FIND A NAP BEHIND CLOSED DOORS WORK TREMENDOUSLY MYSELF. PS: RE-Food shopping. I go to store when it first opens & nobodys awake yet, to have gone in there. ...and ive got the place mostly 2 myself or there's even another store thats open 24 hours and i shop in the middle of the night when nobody is out; and their all at home & snug in their beds & their not jumping all over OR bumping into you ... (Just suggestions ) GOD BLESS YOU & ITS VERY NICE TO SEE YOU; ITS BEEN RAINING LIKE MAD HERE FOR 72 HOURS STRAIGHT... TAKE CARE MY FRIEND...❤

[@AdultwithAutism]

Many thanks. And first thing at the store opening is a good tip. Definitely one to utilise in December, as more people encroach on the time I usually go, so I have to change tact 👍🏻

[@steveluxecable3817]

Just wanted to chime in that I totally agree with you on McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmastime”. It’s a terrible song that’s on par with Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You”. Both give me hives. lol 😉 I feel you on the rest. It’s my least favorite time of the year, with the manic energy and overt commercialism. People running everywhere and shopping out of obligation. Sensory overload. What’s to like?

[@AdultwithAutism]

All Xmas is about for me is pigs in blankets. Full stop. It's manic already where I live, nothing calm at all.

[@steveluxecable3817]

@@AdultwithAutism Yeah it’s manic here already too in Pittsburgh. All I can do is wait for January to arrive, and hope that I can survive the holiday season onslaught once again. lol On a different note, and I really hope that I’m not being tacky or anything by mentioning it, but if you’d like a 20 minute distraction from it all, and want to watch a couple of chill autistic best friends explore an abandoned hotel, I just uploaded my first video too (I’m the guy in the hat who almost fell on his face after the intro). kzbin.info/www/bejne/jHiZY3Z7oK5mmas 😉

[@Sakichii]

Have you ever tried writing a Christmas song? Just curious, I would be interested in hearing what you would come up with in your style of music.

[@AdultwithAutism]

I haven't. I wouldn't even know where to begin with an Xmas song!

[@flamingohead27]

I hate chopped videos. 😅 I LOVE the rain. I know I said it before. But I love rain and snow. 🥰 And the darkness. Its great. I feel for people who don't like it because im the other way around. But man i want snow! Its Dec and we are having floods it nutts! Love pc games.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Chopped videos make me rewind as I wonder if it skipped and I missed something. A sign of age I think! 👍🏼

[@arnowinnertz]

Uh, it reminds me to watch love on the spectrum 😜 Anyway, my thoughts are sometimes messy.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Haha, plenty of time to watch it.

[@panthera50]

F a Duck: the easter eggs haven't left your......and here it is GRISTMAS ! 🙄🙄 I hate this sh*t.😡

[@AdultwithAutism]

Shops are already stocking Halloween things...in August 🎃