I believe we never forgive ourselves for the lies that helped us fit in. I still feel I do not fit in and never will. And it could be because of the bullying and verbal abuse because I am different. I would tell someone that I believe them. Most people don't say it.

6:18-6:42 🔥🔥🔥especially the end. 16:37 "That's fine when you're 5." 🤣the deadpan delivery of that line so down-to-reality 👌

Really relating to this video....I was diagnosed at 53,almost two years ago...and still trying to get a therapist.The diagnosis has been good and bad...validating,but I have much regret, anger and sadness about what my former years could have been.I am becoming more proud of it,however.I worked in direct care and advocacy for 32 years, but for the last few years have worked in easier, less utterly draining jobs.Music is my main therapy and love.Thanks for posting this,there is so much misinformation and ignorance out there, and this counters that! Peace,and stay strong.

Wow this is so much like me! I just want to be accepted for not having that need to socialize. I want to talk to people on the internet who are like me, but that’s really enough socializing for me. Just knowing there are people like me out there.

Just replace your voice with mine. thats my story too.

I was diagnosed level 1 in October. I suspected in ways more so than any other mental thing ppl could throw at me and said “nah, I don’t have anything. There’s nothing wrong with me. I’m just basically lazy and need to push push push. I’m 31 when they diagnosed my life in like a fucking hour. How? lol you know, even the appointments leading up, how can you sum someone’s entire life into one test? It all makes sense, yeah and I feel like I finally understand and I WAS right to live my life how I wanted and desired deep down regardless of who says what or what society says makes you valid or exist to some degree of respect. Fuck em, I was right. I don’t like most people and there’s many reasons depending who they are and who I am that day; I guess. Obviously I’m sorta bitter and confused yet thankful I didn’t test till later in life cause the hard shit makes us who we are when we’re in the field flying blind. If I’d known before who would I be now? Would it have been better, worse? It does not matter, but I’ll tell you one thing. Life tastes better now and this self hate and depression has slowly melted into something smaller and I can finally live and breathe in ways. Mainly because I can forgive myself for not fitting into situations I really wanted to fit into and experience with others. I think I’m finally happy yet still confused. Your videos helped me decide others are attention grabbers, but you’re honest when you speak. Others just want to join some fuxking club it sounds like and that makes me angry. Thank you for what you do which is just speak honestly and truthfully. Where do I start learning how to understand this new thing in my life? It’s like the book has started and the prologue is over. God bless.

This is so enlightening for me It explains my life up to now I am very verbal and detail-oriented although as a child I did not talk much. I was very quiet and did not want anyone to notice me. Between video 1&2 theres so many traits that match me It explains my need to be alone and my down time where my brain has spun so long Im exhausted. The part about animals, birthdays, mood drops, and going to the store...its an ordeal to plan it even for a few items Thank you so much Paul! In many ways just hearing you describe it takes a huge weight off my shoulders❤ My marriages lasted 8 months for one add 2 and 1/2 years for the other I can't stand when someone is constantly in my space 😆😮 It's stressful, and feels like I'm losing ME because they are there!

I am invisible when I have my sunglasses on!😎

Thanks for the video. I watched about half but will have to come back for the last half. So far I take it that life doesn't get any easier by getting diagnosed. I'm about your age and undiagnosed. I would like there to be an answer for why I am 'different', but at $4500 it might not be worth the cost. It would also suck if after paying they say 'nope, you're normal, you just suck at life'.

I've listened to this video I think four times in the last week. It's too early in the morning for me to remember what I even wanted to say, despite hours of "rehearsing". I'm about to get on a plane in a few hours to go to a convention, and while I like the conventions, I just... there are some days that I just Can't. Be. Around. People. And I don't know yet if today's going to be one of them. The thought of just sitting in the terminal doing sweet FA for an hour sounds like a prime time for my brain to start going haywire, wondering what I'm supposed to be doing, am I breathing too loud? Am I fidgeting too much? Am I sitting with my legs sprawled out too far? Am I licking my lips too much? Is my mouth hanging open? All this shit, all the possibility of expectations that I'm probably not meeting, expectations like to hold still. Don't sigh too loud 'cause somebody might think I'm frustrated and that would make THEM uncomfortable. All i can do is go into the bathroom, find an empty stall (hopefully the one on the far end) and just sit in there and wait for it to be over. And I just don't wanna deal with it. I can't keep pretending to be this. I can't afford it. But there's this unspoken expectation that I'm just gonna do it. And 2025 is gonna have to be the year that I put my foot down. And I have no idea how I'm gonna say it.

A diagnosis (right or incorrect) is only a label. The important parts are tools to cope better with life. I suspect that I am on the spectrum so I recognize your story. There are things that individuals can do to change their lives to better avoid most of the stresses that you describe. You should seriously think about changing your job and lifestyle. You cannot change other people and you must pass the blame the diagnosis stage. Focus on improving your life circumstances. Focus is what we are good at when we have realised what we need in our lives. Good luck!

i had a mental breakdown one of many but this was the worst. I called someone who i thought was my friend. She was kind enough to offer support and suggested I come over. I was very just defeated. She had to sleep so I went to bed. Her thought was well I'll feel better with sleep. In the morning all I said was sure I feel good but it's like I have to unpause a game and go right back to the real world. The pain doesn't end.

I can really relate to that. If I'm moving around I don't need much coverage. And to hit ugh. It's the worse!

discover interesting, beautiful, unique places, activities, and events. drive, boat, walk, hike, or run in scenic places. interact with travel companions. keep an eye out for exceptional things to buy for the trip, to bring home, and to give as gifts. chronicle trip-related content into a new journal/sketch/scrap book. learn about the culture and history. send postcards.

I know the video is old. But for the education thing I recently learn a good reason for it, that I can begrudgingly agree with. It’s not to learn all that useless stuff, It’s to train your critical thinking and problem solving skills and to get you use to working a full time job. But it’s still completely idiotic that they don’t teach us more practical skill like taxes.

I am 36 and still have not been able to get a formal diagnosis. Providers mention it, like they mention I might be ADHD, but never move forward. I'm not great at advocating for myself, and I don't have help. It does feel like it gets worse at this age, mostly because people look at me differently than when I was young.

I have the same issues with showers. It's just uncomfortable. I'm a person with really long hair, and I hate it being wet and when I'm cold. Drying my hair takes time too, and it's mentally taxing in a weird way. I do force myself though.

I am 24 and just found out I have Autism. I always struggled in social settings and didn't find interest in the things people my age were interested in. I have always been fixated on Power Rangers, Spider-Man, music, history, and foreign languages, and finding friends has been hard.

Bro, I wanna say something. I was born in 1976. And I was diagnosed with the autism label many years ago. What you have to understand about society is that people are natural born enemies. Of course they mimic a herdlike mentality for their safety. But it's every man for himself. The fact that those of us with the autism label don't play along, or play our role of conforming to the herd like mentality makes us stand out gives those in the herd an advantage. If the "group" doesn't have an enemy, they'll create one. Because it causes cohesiveness within the group. We are easy targets for that. But trust and believe, the members of a herd have no love for one another. Rest assured. Trust and believe. No honor among the thieves. It's not you against all of them. It only seems that way. You have the courage to stay unique. They will never understand. They lack singularity. All of their relationships are shallow and superficial. And their indomitable confidence on the exterior is only an illusion. Take my resolve. Outlive the sons of bitches. Be the last one standing. That's my purpose in life. Stand your ground until there is no one left. It's a long life. It's a hard life. But I will make it across that finish line. No matter what. Even if I do it all alone.

Because this person is sensitive to being mocked, having mentioned it a few times, I will say that the following is NOT about trying to mock him. Clearly, his plan was not to talk about core autism behaviors, if he know what any are. That's his prerogative for his video. However, All I want to know when I start listening to any AUTISM video like this by someone claiming to know about autism or to be autistic is what you DO and THINK that is very autistic, if you say you have autism. Not everyone is obviously autistic. I cannot tell if he has autism from anything he said. Preferring to be alone is in the vicinity of autism, but Not core autism(particularly autistic) by itself. Same with special interests. Not core autism. Same with games. I like solitaire and scrabble. Not core to autism though. Truely,(nothing personal) it seems that many, many people on youtube AUTISM VIDEOS, EVEN THE ONES THAT PARROT WHAT AUTISM IS from DSM, don't know much about autism, despite all the numerous videos many of them make to teach and talk about autism. It seems that few people in the whole world have solid convictions and ideas about what autism is. I write about autism having core particulars frequently, which are half literated in the DSM, and which I add the missing parts to in my quora writings about autism tresspass sentitivity, and autism boundary , tresspass, and separation issues. FibetyJibets,Dec.17, 2024.

I think your pretty witty. Wit is some of the best kind of humor, I'm my opinion, of course. And that space and time is also for others benefit.

Not having a mask is a foreign idea to me. I want to but I can't like making a phone call .. I CAN NOT do it. And people wonder why we were masks. This is making me tear up because it's so hard to live my life being what everyone else wants me to be so I feel safe. I'm terrified to go out. PTSD up the wazoo. It's nice and refreshing to hear a sensible person on social midea being real and not flashing and trying to sell themselves as ASD candy. Granted I appreciate some creators. But that jumpy cuts of film upset me. This is just like a nice smooth whisky. Not a bunch of jello shots 😅 sorry if that doesn't make sense.

I super appreciate you free videos! I recognize the signs and ignore them. I feel like I can handle a little more. And then crash. And it's stupid of me because I'm not the only one paying for it. And your mind just being like nope. I've been stuck in that place for over a couple of years. I can't even do what I like, because my brain is just quite. Doing everything in my life 100% correct and to me best. Or crashing and getting 0% done. Freedom to relax I'd had done my job for free because I loved it! But not having time to rest ko'd me.

The animal bit I am connected definitely with dogs mostly I don’t like 99% of people at all but animals are lovely respect them they mostly respect you. I was in Chester zoo as a kid and I love reptiles and the Komodo dragons yeah I did something that everyone looked at me like I am connected to animals they wondered why I could get a Komodo dragon to run from the opposite side of its enclosure all the way face up to me nothing but the glass was stopping it from letting me stroke it or doing something to me potentially but I don’t care What did I do? You’re wondering I pulled up my tongue in and out constantly as most lizards do well the monitor lizards always do it That was one of the best days of my life

Paul thank you so much I have a adhd diagnosis me and my fiancée do and we both believe we are both autistic as well and from this video I feel very strongly I do have it. I used to be a chef so the raw meat thing doesn’t really effect me mostly if i can cook but mostly I can’t cook now because being a chef was way too much work stressful more than 1 order id mix them up and be in trouble and feel silly. But when i can cook I do it great but 99% of the time my parents cook and I’d do online takeouts or ready stuff for the microwave which is pathetic since i am a good cook when at home and able to do so without stressing. Tooth brushes that noise it’s like forks being pushed hard on plates it goes through me and am trying to be better with that because I need to and I find getting showers really hard to get into and really hard to get out of because I love it when am getting them it’s just getting into them ohh and I think am over sharing right now sorry if I did

Narsses Stick lol thats its name now. I know this is an older video, but we came into some extra money and went on holiday and rented a beach cabin. it was amazing. Stressful as heck because my routine was unhinged. But a better cuz it wasn't a noisy hotel. idk my 2 sick cents. I've realized that going on holiday to a new place, even a new building in the same town. It's like swimming in a new place I'm scared of the water, but once I realize the waters fine my anxiety goes down considerably. I can't go out of the house alone, but this gives me an idea for a video. A travel with my husband/caretaker. such fun! lol thanks for this. it was very nice.

goodness grief. Don't change how you do your channel I like it very much. I like that it's predictable and interesting. "The Smell" being an TSM thing. thought provoking. It would explain things. Drivers. 🙄 It's so refreshing to hear reason. All of your videos thus far are just so spot on! Thank you so much. I feel like I have a friend who really gets it. Rebuild and not restart. also a good shirt.

I haven't had a physical in years because of THE PHONE CALLS. Even when I squeak I'm not believed. Very relatable.

You did do one of "those" videos, but it was tasteful and not really like "those" videos. I love when they have to dilate, diallate?, your eyes and then send you to check the frames. I knew I couldn't handle having more the none child so I had one and I got fixed. I do wish I could have more kids, BUT I know I can't do it. I'm sorry for that person who's having that problem.:( My best friends are that kind of a relationship. See them maybe once a year. My heart breaks for the people that lose their lives because of late diagnosed ASD. Also, I hate it when people push relationships and kids.

Reducing suffering by being the change you want to see in the world 😊

I CAN BE ME WHEN I DO NOTHING. that needs to be a shirt. Also your a very funny guy. I had a tent set up for my safe space. when I'm in it even if the flaps open NO ONE is allowed to as much look at me or talk to me. if someone needs me they can message me. It's pretty small but its mine.

Being alone is the most refreshing amazong feeling.

I have autism too

As a fellow adult with autism, ive always thought there was a strong connection between autism and developing an addiction. It makes sense, when you think about it. Typically, addictive behavior stems from our wish to distract ourselves from uncomfortable emotions and situations, which autistic people encounter on the daily. I struggled with addiction for years, because of this. It was my way of escaping from that uncomfortable feeling, but i didn't connect the link between my diagnosis and addiction until years later. Thank you for sharing your story.

Amazing story! Very inspiring, thank you!

People know you more than you know yourself , so they know what button to push , how to get away with abuse , and if by chance you react then you are the problem and liability

Paul, you are a lovely man. I've subscribed and will catch up on your older videos. Cheers from Canada.

Thanks for sharing your story. You convince me to get a diagnosis.

Love this! 🤗

Very good video. Thank you.

Socks, ok. Ooh, more sock. Ooh, chocolate. I laughed out loud! But honestly, doesn't everyone mask when this happens? 😅 Edited: queen whatever 😂😂 you are so funny

People speaking for you as to a regret they would have and assuming you would as well. I can relate to that so much. I don’t like people projecting on to me their ideas of who or what I should be. And yes, as Autistic people we get judged for not being like other people rather than being understood.

I just found your videos. They help me feel heard. Get your telescope, I finally did and it is fabulous.

All love to my neurodivergent people 😊✌️

Halfway through the video, and I've watched several others of your already, and finding them very interesting! The question I'd like to ask is, being autistic, and not really into socialising, how did you get into these relationships in the first place? It sounds like its not even been a struggle to find a girlfriend. How are you finding women that feel a connection with you? As an early diagnosed asperger, I had zero relationship experience in my 20s, and until mid 20s I simply didn't know any girls well enough to get to the point of asking them out, for the most part, having put myself out there online and in various social settings, I get the odd first date here and there but the women I date just tell me 'no chemistry...' or just fall by the wayside.

It’s definitely not just you.

Sorry I'm 49 just found out but I'm not moaning about it, it explains a lot but I don't wish I was normal, the different bit sees through the fake stuff in life like the sunglasses in "They live" I'm not saying it's positive or negative, or early or late either, you are coming off moaning which never helps

Ps. Libraries are loud now. I had to walk out of mine.. 😩

Ps. Libraries are loud now. Don’t even bother going there either.

Oh my god! I eat like that way too and always have 😂 First the least favorite thing and then a little of each thing, the last bit has to be the yummiest. For me it was veggies and I saved the meat and gravy for last.