[Yes I'm Adopted] Seson 5 Ep 6. More Things You Shouldn't Say To An Adoptee

[@thinkthonk]

Rip, the legends are gone. I don’t think you guys know how many people like you guys. You guys need to come back and start to promote your videos better and I swear more people will watch them. It sucks when all the cool small creators leave because KZbin refuses to pay small creators for lack of views. 😞

[@Christinamariamuller]

We've been blessed that God paved a way and moved the mountains for us to adopt biological siblings. I like to focus on the blessings of this and find it distasteful when virtually everyone who finds out asks if their birth mom plans to keep on having kids, is going to 'give us' more kids or asks if she's going to stop. First of all she's not a baby making machine nor are we looking for her to 'give us' more kids. We love her as much as we love our daughters and the judgemental comments against her irritate me, though I mostly pull it together and find a polite reply. It's not only no one's business but additionally, most who ask are simply fortunate they didn't end up with two unplanned pregnancies, as they didn't really make any better life choices when they were her age. So another thing not to ask an adopted parent (especially in front of the child!!!!!) Is if their birth mom is going to have any more/ stop (though no one uses the word stop. They all have much less polite vernacular.) 😖😫😥

[@ilovenoodles7483]

Thank you for your compassion and understanding! As a birth mother myself, I resonate with the story of your birth mother. I am a birth mother. I don't know if you've been my previous comment, but I was pregnant with my first child when I was a teenager and 4yrs. later I was pregnant with my second child, the one I placed adoption. I did feel condemned and a lot of people did keep thinking I was just a baby making machine, when it wasn't even anything like that at all! I remember when I was at the grocery store one time and I ran into someone I knew from high school when I was pregnant and he looked at me and said, "oh hi, you're pregnant again and you're not with the dad? Aren't you good for anything more than just having other people's kids?" 😬😒 So, I totally get not being a baby making machine. I _always_ felt like I had to tell people the whole story just so they wouldn't say something ignorant!😰 I mean, it had been 4 years since my last pregnancy, and in that time, I had finally left an abusive relationship, I received a high school diploma and graduated at my original time, I landed more than just a fast food job, I got out on my own, I was in an actual relationship with my 2nd child's dad, it wasn't just a one night stand, and my former schoolmate knew nothing about anything other than the fact that he happened to see me at the grocery store and I was pregnant! Granted, my second relationship got messed up, but it wasn't any of his business to even ask anyway!!😵 Thank you for the defense of your birth mother. I'm sure she appreciates it very much. I know I do. 😇 and she probably has a sense of validation as well, even if it isn't made adamant.

[@Christinamariamuller]

@@ilovenoodles7483 It hurts my heart to hear the comments people have made towards you. It's so hurtful and unfair as most who do the judging avoided similar circumstances by chance not by different choices. I also feel the need to share more than necessary to help others not judge and to ensure our daughters maintain a positive view and relationship with their birth mother (It's amazing the comments made in their presence.) I pray often that by being open I can help change the negative views and help change how people view adoption as well.

[@ilovenoodles7483]

@@Christinamariamuller Thank you. Amen! I totally understand. It's people like you with that attitude and perspective that are true heroes. It also warms my heart to hear you say that and as a birth mother, I'm sure yours is proud. I can see that she did the best job in parenting her twins by making the decision to place them with your family. You are one of the best mothers in the world.

[@marciawright2600]

Please make more videos!

[@worshipthecomedygodseoeunk4010]

even though i dont really agree with you guys on some topics, mostly because im an emotional and sensitive person who has experienced anxiety and mental health issues, i still like your light hearted way of going about them. i hope and expect people watching this to not think of it as a representation of all adoptees thoughts, but your thoughts are a lot more nuanced than the mainstream so i appreciate that. your position on most things is pretty much my sister who is also korean adopted like me. im kinda anti-adoption though or at least, hypercritical/cynical, because of its ethics and lack of attachment to my family, but i still like hearing other adoptee voices. its cool that more are doing podcasts cuz i wish i had the confidence to do something like that lol

[@pamelanystrom4675]

I love you guys! Its great to have some positive voice on adoption!

[@truthspeaksfreedom1810]

To me #7 - "I wish I was adopted too", really resonates. That's the first thing that many people said to me when I found out about being adopted 8 years ago. Not sure why, haha. I've shared my story on my channel. Enjoying the content here, Thank you!

[@JoshP81]

Thank you so much for all your guidance and suggestions. This will be prove to be invaluable as my wife and I raise our children and help guide them through their childhood.

[@ExtraordinaryBoris]

Guess you guys stopped making videos?

[@ilovenoodles7483]

I love this! Thank you! What a throwback. You two are so good at putting such a light spin on this and having a well spirit about adoption. Laughter is a good medicine- the Bible.

[@andreagreer3025]

Ok. Adoptee from birth here. I really enjoy the humor-wrapped rant candy, as I get it! I got the Mom/Mother nomenclature in the first video, and have always wished there was a word for birth family relationships. I can’t seem to figure out anything, but I’m so tired of prefixes like “birth” or “bio” or sounding like a genealogist or, some long explanation, or defining my terms all the time...and I can’t get away with Mother in my world. Maybe you two can get something cool out there that we can all ...ahem...adopt...and make universal. I am grateful it’s no longer Bastard...but gratitude has its limits. Cheers!

[@stevew9993]

First dumb comment!

[@ilovenoodles7483]

Check out this scenario when someone has said something dumb. Here's the background story: My son's father and I were teenagers when I got pregnant. We loved one another and planned on marrying each other and being a family together. As my dear son we went on to grow into a toddler and each one of us turned 18, differences in what we wanted in life and our relationship became more defined and we seperated. So, there I was, a single mother of a toddler and I was doing well. Fast forward 3yrs later, I I met a guy who I fell in love with. The feeling was mutual. Our relationship was supposed to grow into something beautiful.....that is until I found myself pregnant 1 and 1/2 years later....again and unmarried. To make a long story short, I decided to have my baby and after much deliberation, I decided to place him for adoption at birth. It was one of the most wonderful things I did! A few years later, My best friend who was there for me through it all, was over at my house one day when my first child, now five or six years old at that time, was being a normal kindergartner, full of energy and requiring a lot of attention. He was being a "brat" and wouldn't obey what I was saying and was probably getting into one thing after another and maybe even a little back talking me. Finally, I had enough and I had told him to stop, I told him what he had done and why it was wrong and gave him punishment. Just then my friend chimed in, "Hey, you need to listen to your mom! You cannot stress her out." (here's the real kicker....) "Do you want her to give you away like she did your brother? 😲😬😯 I was completely dumbfounded and I told her to stop and don't ever tell my kid something like that again!! I told her that I thought that she understood, but obviously she didn't and that you never tell a kid that you're going to give them away. She honestly had no idea of anything! There's so much more to adoption part of my story, But yeah, the dumb things people say! Edit: I can laugh about it now. Thank you guys for your work and bringing awareness and each of your "you ness" that you put into everything.

[@katiemccunniff9661]

I'm so sorry. Will never understand people's ignorance and cruelty. Glad you put her in her place. Sure hope you have a new friend...