Getting Toddlers to Greet Others

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Getting Toddlers to Greet Others
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Greeting as a language function
There is a function to the language we use. It might be to requisition for something, reject something or greet someone. The act of greeting someone has a particular function. And that’s to be polite, sociable and to get someone’s attention. If the child doesn’t understand the function to greet someone, then no matter how you force the child it will be futile.
The way to teach new language functions is to demonstrate them. It’s better that you show rather than tell. Because a child who is speech and language delayed cannot understand your explanations. Many parents who we work with wouldn’t even greet a stranger sharing a lift. It’s actually socially awkward to do so. Yet, we teach our children to say hi to “uncles” and “aunties” wherever we go!
If you want your child to greet people, then you should be greeting people yourself as well. Do not tell your child to do something you won’t do. And vice versa, try not to do something that your child isn’t supposed to do. Children model adults, especially the parents.
Greet everything you see
Okay, what if you do greet others and your child still hasn’t learned to say hello? You can make it a routine to greet everything that pops up. That’s how they do it on children’s TV shows, make it fun and greet items, toys, animals or whatever that you deem appropriate.
Don’t make it a bad experience and reward your child
Many of us take it for granted that a child should greet other adults. When children do say hi, we often brush it off and do not praise the child for doing it. If it’s a behaviour that doesn’t occur all the time, then don’t take it for granted. Praise the child for saying hello or bye whenever it happens. Be happy about it and encourage that behaviour.
In my experience working with parents and children, many parents do not back down until the child does or says something signalling a goodbye. This might not be the best idea because it creates a bad experience. No one wants to be forced to do anything they don’t want to. Imagine all the stress, towering adults waving enthusiastically at you, trying to get your attention and your mother squatting down to manipulate your hands to wave goodbye. It’s terrifying to some children.
Some parents even say sorry when the child refuses to say goodbye. My question is, who’s side are you on? If something stresses your child, you should be the one to perform the act for him/her. Give them a way out, or at the very least give them a reward so that they have an incentive to do so!