A HFY Story : Please don't | 2055~ Deathworld, War, Terran & Humans

[@taitano12]

"Don't look at me like that. You could have stopped us a ANY point just by asking. Seriously, y'all too arrogant for your own good." 🙄

[@lawrencespruyt5053]

"We surrender!" "That's all you had to say. Goodbye. Oh, by the way, were taking that planet. Goodluck"

[@carlfromtheoc1788]

Human to xeno ambassador: "You know, your people look a lot like bovines on our homeworld. Even seen a bar-b-que joint, or an Argentinian gaucho meat festival? No? Might want to check that out before you declare war........."

[@michiganengineer8621]

Rule #1: Don't start a fight with the Humans. If you ignore Rule #1 then: For the sake of whatever deity you worship, do NOT attack civilians. Especially children. If you do that, soon your entire race will be nothing but a memory and a WARNING to the rest of the galaxy as to why Rule #1 is so important!

[@Kualinar]

Humans : You killed our children, so, you have chosen the extinction of your specie, or, at the very least, your Nation.

[@virtualatheist]

And God forbid you kill a puppy!

[@averykeefe5135]

Entire species goes John Wick

[@KP-dy1yq]

​@@averykeefe5135I worry that this is fairly accurate. 😅 Any person with a furbaby going to go totally berserker 🫡

[@InternetGravedigger]

The human ambassador should've said "Please don't make us destroy you" instead.

[@archsuccubuseclipse]

Feel like that would have been taken as a intimidation attempt rather then a true plea for them to save themselves.

[@artyd42]

@@archsuccubuseclipse There's a Doctor Who does this... I'm sure of it.

[@Amoth_oth_ras_shash]

possibly.. though even if not he should have sent a simple single page document though detailing the % of human civilization history that known 'global' peace and the detail that once you piss of a endurance predator ,well.... its not going to tire anytime soon ,and the more it bleeds.. the more pissed of on you it will get.. ;)

[@CaptainShield]

We don't make war. War is our nature. We make peace.

[@Wastelandman7000]

I do not fear the storm, for I am the storm.

[@Blood.Angel.]

Some stupid super advanced alien race: OUR MIGHTY WAR CASTE WILL DESTROY YOU The human ambassador: great...even more paperwork...well at least I'll only have to fill it all out once.

[@tophatminion.7558]

An Andorian acquaintance once said: "Don't push the pink-skins to the thin ice." It wasn't very eloquent, but... the Klingons found it to prove quite prophetic.

[@shadowskill111]

Odd saying for an alien since most humans are brown skins.

[@dwwolf4636]

​@@shadowskill111 The ones in space not so much.....

[@travismacha2891]

​@@shadowskill111 that is what one of the ambassador on Star Trek Enterprise called humans.

[@GhostBear3067]

​@shadowskill111 term might be based on human months and spaces around the eyes, which are always pinkish.

[@angelrivera2339]

@@GhostBear3067 my head cannon is that the Andorians have a limited ability to see in the infrared and when they see a human as pink because they see our body heat.

[@DjapeKostic]

It's so interesting to hear my story spoken by another's voice. Nice I love it!

[@markfergerson2145]

Thank you for writing it.

[@westcoaststacker569]

Thank You for the story and allowing him to read it.

[@TechnoMageB5]

салут

[@danielponiatowski7368]

no offence but i've heard the same story countless times but for the names of the species. i thought if i gave listening to these a rest for awhile i may hear something new, ah well. give us something original, it'l be well recieved.

[@jeffhall4228]

Great story, bravo

[@xxcommentator]

Ambassador: It would've finished with a game over. If you hadn't kept pouring f-cking tokens and pressing continue over and over again.

[@wrathshorts2894]

Humans: They said we shouldn't do it. They said we couldn't do it. They begged us NOT to do it. But we did it anyway.

[@CADJewellerySkills]

I know this genre is called “humanity fuck yeah.” But never had a story made me want to say those words more.

[@Sanquinity]

I remember one other story quite a while ago where humanity decided to defend a defenceless ally. The enemy started with a planetary bombardment and the humans shot back. When there was a pause from the enemy, the humans kept shooting. so another bombardment, and again a pause. But although less, the humans kept fighting. And so on for a few times. Then finally the humans sent out 1 ship to face the enemy. And instead the enemy fled, as by then they had already spent all of their ammunition. Yet despite the humans being battered, broken, and few remaining in number, they still persisted, and came at them ready to fight. Still one of the best "humans, fuck yea!" stories I've read/heard so far. Wish I could remember the name.

[@songatoredenscio2416]

@@Sanquinity U kinda forget that the first group of Humans only make time for the cavalry to arrive, they destroy the entire enemy army

[@Sanquinity]

@Songato Redenscio I was talking about another story I listened to like 6~8 months ago.

[@hiddenhundred8565]

My favorite of the "Humanity fuck yeah" (though I think it is technically a different genre, like Humans are OP, though I'd say it's one and the same) stories has always been "Because someone had to" Whenever I'd play spacefaring games like stellaris I'd always have my empire once a Galactic Union is formed demand for the ban of slavery and if it is rejected leave the Union and start on my war path. We have learned from our mistakes, time for them to realize theirs

[@mikeharris6429]

@@Sanquinity that’s stupid. Senselessly dying for a useless reason is just plain stupid.

[@Wastelandman7000]

Aliens: We will defeat you easily haha! Humans: you do know how many species we've made go extinct right?

[@SH-qs7ee]

Don't piss of the apes that rose to the top of the food chain by hunting down anything above it; with pointy sticks.

[@BazilRat]

To paraphrase a doctor. "Good men do not need rules. You do not want to find out why we have so many."

[@Wastelandman7000]

Pity Sarik and his people never heard the old Terran saying, "Don't poke the bear."

[@shaincastillo6772]

May the nanite swarms keep you safe for all eternity Agro. 3 cheers for the best narrator there is

[@ejedwards988]

Humanity shouldn't have tried to sneak and get what they wanted but the aliens goofed by declaring war, which basically gave humans carte blanche to take what they wanted. Sounds like they just gave humans what they wanted and then some.

[@hanzzel6086]

I understood it to be independent smugglers/pirates doing the stealing, hence the lack of a diplomatic response. And the human ambassador was referring to the initial purchase attempts when he said "they had tried".

[@GenStallion]

Humanity We are so good at what we do. Even when we start it, you are still the bad guy.

[@jaypax]

Human fleet comes out of FTL in low orbit of a Xenos planet and broadcast words that no population would want to hear: "We have arrived, and it is now we perform our charge..."

[@merlinathrawes746]

Note to all galactic species. Before you do anything to annoy the humans, study their history of war and take special heed of something they call The Geneva Conventions. Failure to do so will result in your destruction.

[@shishoka]

Reminds me of Fancy the bard, terror of Salusek Ro. All they had to do is politely ask him to stop.

[@nigelnightmare4160]

Very much like my mantra on life. "I'm Easy going, 'till pushed." I always send flowers and condolences to their next of kin afterwards.💀

[@bigearl3867]

Fried ice-cream is a reality.

[@RealArcalian]

Greetings Mentlegent! For the Rhyhtm that is Algo Good alien perspective storytelling. And though he understands his side was wrong, he still doesn't understand why the human rebuilding was right.

[@chronred8190]

... yup. sounds like human nature "if we can't win we'll take you down with us"

[@jrm48220]

Do not the humans. Just don't.

[@lupaswolfshead9971]

I want my socks back grrr

[@xessq1]

when you think you will be up against gardeners in a war, but find out they were warriors in the garden..

[@MizukiStone44]

glory to the tiny ship that rests beneath the waves.

[@yomogami4561]

dear lord. they never said please stop? the safeword was meatloaf fortunately, humans weren't feeling genocidal that decade

[@xanmontes8715]

Human ambassador: "We don't like war. We don't appreciate war. We **love** war. It is our bread and butter. We only stopped because always winning loses it's appeal after a few centuries."

[@TheJeikou]

stacked pie with whipped cream is a cake

[@jeffhall4228]

Bravo, another fantastic story, bravo.

[@jamesagnos6246]

HFY redditors don't write a story where we commit genocide: Challenge impossible.

[@ericlondon2663]

Great story, once again aliens with psych and cognitive issues. They went to war with a species on a lark, had no Intel on even the human diet.

[@brianlips8346]

Thanks for the story 😊☺️

[@barelyasurvivor1257]

A big slow Alien is just an easier target to hit and kill.

[@victortahlor4038]

Thank you for the reading

[@kargandarr]

The Sarali made the mistake of poking the humans and we poked back very hard.

[@grimreapergameing6667]

Love the story's

[@klappstock943]

For the Algorithm the story and the voice

[@barelyasurvivor1257]

Another great reading

[@malikevans634]

War is our nature. Peace is our nurture.

[@AFriend21]

Guys we just needed some "insert ore here" to build our few millions dyson sphere bring on new golden age

[@gerardraines8280]

They certainly can't take a hint...

[@kashkara_8943]

[contact with unknown carbon based life]

[@patsplat764]

ty

[@Obligate.Carnivore]

I believe our leaders know this and it’s why we aren’t in space now!! We have FTL and more! Roswel gave us that!!

[@wolfgang8225]

Yup fuck around and find out 😂😂I mean damn you should've google us😂😅😂

[@evanjohnson1299]

Hard war, easy peace

[@allielightfoot2769]

What’s funny is that all these human stories about the human military is really just about the United States Marines and army personnel and the ships really are how the US Navy works. It’s hilarious.

[@ssu7653]

For some strange reason, its how just about ANY military work. It is how military have worked since the beginning of time. USA is just the current top, doing what they watched those before do

[@CHRF-55457]

Dam. Sounds like humans went to genociding war crimes rout in this one.

[@lawrencespruyt5053]

"We thought it was sadness for the toll this war would take on his people" oh, he was. Just not for the reasons you believed.

[@aguien]

What resource was in that world? Alien anime cat girls...

[@thomasmandell3002]

😂🤣😂

[@DonPatrono]

"They were an apex predator" Mistake. Hominids and even humans up until Homo Sapiens Sapiens (AKA the modern human) were never apex predators. They were prey, initially, and then low-to-mid-tier predators. By a stroke of luck and evolutionary convergence, we gained some traits that are common in predators (for example, binocular sight and fast reflexes were pretty useful to our ape ancestors to measure the distance of a branch or vine and move quickly to grab them before falling, casually making us good at hunting), and ou large brain and opposable thumb made us more adept at making stuff and fueling the desire to find better ways to make bette stuff, but for the longest times we huddled within caves, then around bonfires and then behind palisades, quivering at the sounds in the night. We weren't born apex predators. We were preys that through tens of thousands of years *learned* to become predators, and took thousands of years to gain the technological capabilites to unknowingly become apex. And the problem is that, at heart, when we're struck badly or dangerously cornered, we still react like an angered and frightened low-tier predator....no holds barred, all gloves off, self preservation be damned because it's all in, either we make it or self preservation won't be an issue because there won't be any self to preserve anyway. That's what makes humanity an oddity, and had those aliens realized it maybe they wouldn't have gone and picked a preposterous fight with us

[@Elmithian]

Humans were the initial aggressors here, even if they wanted a resource I doubt the entire cluster lacked it to the point of risking war for. The humans were dismissive over the actual deaths of those that had the full right to attack them. The alien diplomat had a full right to act as he did. It doesn't matter why they refused the trade, it is their right to refuse. To act out and take it nevertheless is a sign of incompetence among human diplomats inability to get the deal through, not theirs. They tried peaceful occupation but the civilian turned violent? They aren't counted as civies once they start shooting at your men. The fact the aliens tried to just keep the peace until they were forced to radical actions is a clear sign of whom was in the moral right here. The bombardments were a tragedy, yes, but they made it clear that they were forced to, not that they took any enjoyment from it. Meanwhile humanity goes on a revenge genocidal spree and destroys entire worlds without even checking if the people there would resist or not. It is pretty obvious which group here was in the wrong. Humanity in this story is a hypocritical arsehole that I hope the rest of the aliens will make sure to cease trading with and interact with considering that if their government doesn't mind unrighteous murdering of planets, they are definitely immoral monsters.

[@2shadesofgray752]

Found the jew

[@Elmithian]

@@2shadesofgray752 Whut?

[@ejedwards988]

@@2shadesofgray752 and we found the problem

[@shadowwatcher5042]

@@Elmithian I agree. Humans were in the wrong here.

[@pantro1014]

You’re not wrong

[@Squall598]

Is there a HFY story about some humans being able to eat a shit load of food?

[@shadowskill111]

Some one needs to tell the Russian humans that apparently civilians are supposed to not be targeted during warfare.

[@matthiuskoenig3378]

Perhaps if the ukrianians agreed then the Russians would listen. But Ukraine has been openly targeting civilians for over 8 years now.

[@lupaswolfshead9971]

That's more the Americans and their jewellery puppet in Ukraine you need to speak to

[@ssu7653]

few missing villages around the world suggest its not a stricktly russian thing...

[@xessq1]

someone should probably tell Palestine that ... oh wait.. i think Israel did

[@FutureMan420Blazer]

nice

[@elfeater1760]

For the Algorithm11!

[@dalemorgan8263]

War What is it good for? Absolutely nothin

[@madkow007]

say it again

[@josmeijers2818]

F.T.A !

[@larrythompson8630]

Humanity was wrong. They had what we wanted? We asked, offered to trade, buy… their refusal does not give us right to steal, attack and kill when caught.

[@merlinwizard1000]

4th, 2 March 2023

[@greyhunter3271]

It bums me out when the humans start mass murdering the aliens cause they killed some civilians. Hypocrisy always kills my good feels for these stories.

[@ssu7653]

While i agree it is bad, that is how Japan was defeated in WW2. It is the fear of retaliation like that, that makes the Geneva convension work.

[@richardtaillon1616]

What you're seeing is the consequences of misunderstanding driven by extremes. The aliens didn't understand the concept of 'civilians' and probably fought, even in the defensive campaign as such. Meanwhile the humans didn't understand that the aliens 'pacifying' that planet didn't mean total war, but proceeded to fight as such from there on. Ssu mentions the Americans and Japanese in world War 2 and its a good example. Another is German and Canadian soldiers. In WW 1 both sides experienced some actions that eventually convinced both sides that neither would take prisoners. It happened in the second war as well.

[@Bdady74]

Algorithm appeasement comment

[@tonyneal910]

🐿👍

[@DashieDe]

It was quite stupid from both sides

[@Wastelandman7000]

A lot of wars are that in spades. Read up on WWI.

[@jaywulf]

I wish you would not say "Ladies and Gentlemen" it is your signature but whatevs. Just my woke 5c

[@markfergerson2145]

That's "Ladies and mental gents". In any case, you are free to not listen if you are that easily offended.

[@ThaNoobTuber]

Don't police peoples vocab, you wouldn't like it if they did so to you.

[@acarrillo8277]

Forcing your personal beliefs and values on others makes you no better than the proselytizing religious missionaries or imperialistic governments you likely claim to despise.

[@reginaldbull4922]

Very nice storyline! Thx!