When Others Don't Understand Your Chronic Illness // Ep 3

Today's episode is discussing what to do when others don't understand your chronic illness. I'm sharing 3 new ideas for you to think next time this happens.
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[@jennifers.7037]

These podcasts are extremely helpful. You really have caused me to start to change some of my thinking patterns around my illnesses. Thank you ❤. You are so wise beyond your years.

[@Aimee_Esther]

SO glad it's been helpful!! ❤️❤️ I will keep them coming!

[@k.l.8804]

I do get resentful of people when they complain about (to me) minor and temporary health issues. But only when they make a really big deal out if it. I have some friends like this that makes huge drama and cancel on plans etc when I have popped extra pills and made a huge effort to show up despite all my struggles and just want to spend a nice time and forget my issues. And then to either be cancelled on last minute (sometimes when I’ve already taken the effort to show up at the place) or to show up but get to listen to complaints about their percived hardship.. and no questions asked about how I feel because ”well, your always ill right, whats the point in asking”… I have some clearing out of friends to do… 😞😓

[@frogleymom]

I stumbled on your KZbin channel a few months ago after a minimalism video. I have loved your videos since and I love these podcasts! These principles are important for everyone...not just those struggling with chronic illness. ❤️

[@Aimee_Esther]

So glad this is helpful for you! :)

[@hbnpiano]

Ohhh, this was just what I needed today!! Thank you so much💗

[@DanettaHarding]

I'm totally hooked on your podcasts. Thank you so much for challenging my thought processes.

[@amber3574]

I’m so excited for this podcast! These are some great healthy perspectives you’re offering. A lot of the time the truth can be painful and our solution might be in the place we least want to look or least expect to find. Thank you for this video Aimee!

[@Aimee_Esther]

I'm so glad this has been helpful!

[@Med_Zeb]

This is my favorite episode so far! You're doing a great job and I love listening to you.

[@Aimee_Esther]

So glad to hear you are enjoying it! :)

[@stephdaley1480]

This is a great episode. This matter is hard for me in a different way, I don’t expect anyone to understand how I feel because they are not me. I don’t have expectations of people understanding or listening to me. Certain people in my life really try and ask me questions that are hard to answer. I actually find it hard to explain how I feel sometimes I just say the same thing, “same as yesterday or worse today or extremely exhausted or can’t move”. But sometimes I can talk a lot like word vomit. There is a person in my life that really doesn’t understand which I like I said I don’t expect that, but this person always tells me I’m negative but it’s not so much that, they asked me how I feel and some days are worse as we all know. What I struggle with is being cut off and talked at and told how I should be or that I should take my life back. I am not the same person so that’s not going to happen I just have to learn to live now and going forward. But this person is in denial for me if that makes sense. When I explain this to that person that’s what they don’t understand which really bothers me. Any advice hope I made sense

[@MauraWhite]

Also, what if you are so sick, that you don't have the energy to take care of yourself. I've been in that place for 8 months. So I REALLY need others to take care of me. I've communicated that, but very few respond, and it makes me feel very much rejected.

[@Aimee_Esther]

It's still your responsibility to take care of you. By that I mean, if you can't do something alone then you find the help. Don't expect someone else to do it perfect. Remember that they don't know what it's like to be you. So you need to tell them, and if they still don't do it right find someone who will. (You could try to explain more to the person, or hire someone to help you, or ask a different friend/family/neighbor to help.) It's hard not to feel rejected in these situations. It's so difficult for people who don't live chronically ill to understand what it's like to be sick all the time. You got this my friend!

[@XXO-Rosie]

I 100% understand this. I can care for myself but caring for my son is difficult, so when others don’t understand why I can’t care for my child there’s more judgment than concern/willingness to help.

[@hannahemcnabb2024]

I know this was posted quite a long time ago but I don’t expect anyone to understand how it truly feels to me. I expect sympathy though which I believe is a reasonable expectation if someone truly cares about you. I except to not be disrespected or invalidated or treated rudely in a very, very, VERY, obvious way. I just expect human decency out of people which isn’t a very high bar at all to set for people.

[@robyn_marie]

Great episode Aimee. Thank you. When it comes to cooking or baking for people, I always say to the person, "If you don't like it, you don't have to eat it, I won't be offended." A lot of times I followed a recipe so if they don't like it I just figure they don't like that recipe. But even if I made it up, like you said, everyone has different tastes.

[@monab6640]

You’re offering terrific feedback… keep sharing your experience and what you’ve learned! 👏🏼👏🏼🙏🏼✝️

[@mrschiefstitchlisag7084]

I needed this message today 💜💜 Thank you!! And PS… those big purple glasses were the best and you’re BEAUTIFUL!!

[@Aimee_Esther]

Thank you! 💜

[@ambarrose]

I guess...I would like people to recall that I'm making an extra effort all the time to do all the things they do constantly. They just forget. Because they see results all the time. They see only what I work everyday to "build". And then I have to reality check them.

[@k.l.8804]

Yes ❤ I feel this way too… I have had situations where I have made the to me huge effort to drive and show up to meet a friend, like a 45-50 min drive. And recive a text from them five min ahead of our meeting time, cancelling on me… That is not okay to be doing to a healthy friend, but even less so to someone chronically ill with a family whom just puzzled the whole familys schedule around my inabilities etc and the effort and energy it took me to get here. And you not cancelling in time for me to at least stay at home.

[@k.l.8804]

Unless they just had an accident five minutes ago of course, but that wasnt the case… there was a family issue but it had been going on the whole day so in that instance they could have called earlier… 😓

[@kityzsRULE]

Fantastic advice!

[@MauraWhite]

Please don't let Mormonism guilt trip you into having more babies than your body is ok with. I left a very controlling church similar to mormonism, and while I was supposed to believe in miracles to heal the sick, it put me in danger of taking care of myself and my body out of guilt for not having enough faith!

[@Aimee_Esther]

I'm not sure what you're talking about... My religion doesn't guilt me into having babies. 🤷 I don't know what religion you were a part of, but I'm so sorry it made you feel controlled. That sounds awful. My religion actually does the opposite. I feel so free! We believe that deciding when and how many children to have is between you, your spouse and the Lord. 😊 (And we don't refer to ourselves as "Mormons". I'm a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. 😊) I hope you find a belief that brings you joy! ❤️❤️

[@Aimee_Esther]

Also I did a whole episode on faith! This may be useful to you: kzbin.info/www/bejne/bHiZmplmgdmYmLs

[@kelviannaepperson3677]

Unfortunately even though my mom takes care of me she doesn't understand my illness and the chronic pain and difficulty it causes. she even said 'Why are you walking like that', when I walk this way normally but im in more pain and she doesn't understand it. I just want her to know that I can't do things like everyone else.

[@Aimee_Esther]

But what if it was okay for her to "not get it"? What if we didn't need her to understand and allowed her to have her own thoughts about your illness? What if her not understanding didn't even effect you? What if all that mattered was that YOU understand YOU? If you let that go, how would that change your relationship?

[@kelviannaepperson3677]

@@Aimee_Esther Her thoughts qre to say I'm lazy qnd don't do qnything when u help qround the house but I don't cook because I have heat intolerance and that I don't move fast enough when I can't because I can't move like others vecause I will be paralyzed so I have to be careful all the time. Morning is my worse time of day those qrent healthy hours for me and she'll say I didn't do anything.

[@Aimee_Esther]

@@kelviannaepperson3677 Just try on the idea that maybe it's okay for her to think that you didn't do anything today. What if instead of focusing on what she was thinking, you focused on what YOU were thinking. You don't have control over what she thinks about you, but you do have control of what you think about you. How about you decide that today you did everything exactly right (even if she doesn't think so). That's available to you if you want it! Try this for one day and just see how it goes. Notice how your day changes if you focus on your own thoughts instead of hers :)

[@c.k.1958]

thank you

[@whendis.roberts9903]

Do worry about what others think. Focus on God. Most People do t have Empathy...They just don't. It's called selfishness.

[@Auroraluis-cd9cn]

Chronic pain is not a life

[@Auroraluis-cd9cn]

I call it the monster inside us