AITAH for refusing to go on a family trip unless they disinvite my nephew’s friend? Dusty Reacts!

[@kelseyregank-drawproductio9510]

I was at a kids birthday party helping out, and a boy was teasing and bothering one of the girls I often babysat. It was really agitating her. A few older adults were smiling knowingly and commenting “oh he just likes you.” I pulled the girl aside and quick taught her what to do and say. A few moments later when the boy returned to jab at her, she turned to him and said “when you treat me like this, I don’t want to be anywhere near you. Goodbye.“ And she walked away. The boy and the older adults were openly flabbergasted. I was very proud babysitter that day. I have absolutely no patience for allowing mistreatment in the name of “oh he likes you.” There are way too many domestic abuse victims in the ER who were put there by people who claimed to love them.

[@jenniferhoisington66]

Damn Skippy

[@JoJohnson-wu4ec]

I’m 81 years old and I still remember the people that bullied me in school.

[@katherinepfister4177]

He rips her clothes!? That’s assault. God dammit why won’t these school systems do anything about this shit?

[@jenniferdaniels701]

They need to call the police themselves. Forget the school.

[@freedomcat]

Because it makes them look bad if they actually do anything and they're afraid of lawsuits with doing so actually put them more at risk of a lawsuit

[@WaywardAce420]

I hate hate HATE the “oh he just likes her.” it is complete and utter bullshit, he was physically and mentally abusing her, period! That is not okay and using that asinine excuse enables that behavior and it is not nor should it ever be considered to be okay.

[@MaineCoonMama18]

Agreed! Even if he is doing it because he likes her, that doesn't make it acceptable behavior. 16 is old enough to learn that you shouldn't torment other people.

[@mangamegbe]

I was going to comment this exact thing ! It’s so gross that people blow off a boy bullying a girl as him trying to flirt and failing.

[@ryntintynvin]

And it’s so gross to teach girls that abusive behavior is love 🤮

[@DawnKellyMedia]

That's how women learn to accept abuse later in life. It's disgusting.

[@LufutheLuckDragon]

I got similar treatment, came home crying everyday and that was the same excuse people used. All I could think was, "If he liked me wouldn't he NOT want to hurt me?" If a boy likes a girl, he should be taught HOW TO TREAT HER! Disciplined and corrected in his abhorrent behavior. I don't understand to this day how people make excuses for boys abusing girls. If it happens once, ok, correct him, but to keep enabling this behavior???

[@avernion]

This is a good time for the kid to learn that if you bully another kid you don’t get to go with her family on a fun vacation. You reap what you sow.

[@JudithWilder-e5b]

Absolutely.

[@josabby474]

It’s sad that Jeff has toxic parents, but he loses my sympathy when he pays that toxicity forward and inflicts it on OP’s daughter. OP’s sister and grandparents aren’t doing Jeff any favors by enabling Jeff. They’re doing that by trying to have OP put her daughter in a place where she’ll be with Jeff in the same house for two weeks. She deserves better than to be Jeff’s punching bag.

[@freedomcat]

Don't forget the nephew who is Jeff's friend is also an a-hole

[@sandraroehrig9142]

Two more years until this kid ends up in big boy jail for this kind of behavior. Sad situation. 😢

[@DawnKellyMedia]

Rapist in the making.

[@maryspatz6713]

Can we please get rid of the “He/She only does it because He/She likes you” mentality from our culture. All it does is teach children to correlate and accept abusive behavior as love!

[@14hoursahead]

It’s giving, “he has such a bright future ahead of him!”

[@analyticalchick3064]

If an adult behaved like Jeff at work, it would become an HR issue or he'd be fired for it. Tell me why the school can't do anything. He's destroying her property. My father also pushed my bullies on me. I grew up in the days of landlines. They'd call the house and he would keep giving me the phone and get mad when I would tell these girls "we're not friends. I have no reason to talk to you." I'd hang up and they'd call back over and over again. Meanwhile, he sat there and pretended to people he was father of the year.

[@KBearthefair]

There is a chance he would hurt her in a major way if you can't watch them the whole time.

[@Cynophileandavianenthusiast]

So Jeff is more important than Emily, according to OPs' family? Got it.👍

[@karendurst9790]

Why hasm't the father pressed assult charges against this boy.

[@DawnKellyMedia]

That's what I'm saying!

[@ryntintynvin]

I’d be taking that kid to court for assault.

[@musicfreak0000001]

He was ripping off her clothes that is sexual assault. He is of the age of reason and he knows right from wrong and that s@#! is horrible.

[@bluekitty3731]

I've seen this story on another post, and I'll just reiterate what I said there, Jeff is not a child he is practically a full grown man! And I belive he's showing signs of being a rapist in the making, he has targeted a young girl for assault, riped her clothes, and let's be real in any other context that would be a sexual assault in the third degree, he has no fear of authority and his home life is probably physically and emotionally abusive. Giving him access to his victim is just asking for trouble, he will escalate if not OPs daughter, then someone else. And don't forget OPs nephew could be caught up in Jeff's crimes, and is that worth it for OPs fantasy that she can " fix" jeff?

[@candirobinson706]

I would go on a different trip with my daughter. Hell No I would not go after the meeting period. I feel for you and your daughter. ❤😢

[@MAJORQUEENBITCH101]

I commented to him that him ripping her clothes was S/A.

[@cardboard2night]

Did he reacted?

[@darlenerider4146]

That torments OPs kid....maybe OP should call CPS on the parents of the bully because clearly they're neglecting him so much that he does those horrible things

[@analyticalchick3064]

YES. In my state all adults but clergy are mandatory reporters.

[@aralornwolf3140]

@@analyticalchick3064, Where I live... Clergy are Mandatory reporters... Why does your state protect the people most likely to abuse kids?

[@r10greyhoundsrule87]

He has toxic parents and a toxic home life but OP's family feel they're being magnanimous by taking him on the family vacation knowing he's bullied OP's daughter, treated her like trash, physically assaulted her, verbally assaulted her, put her backpack in a filthy toilet? What the heck do think will happen to her on a family vacation where he has access to her 24/7 and not just school hours? Are they insane? He'll know her every move, where she is, what room she's in, when she's in the bathroom or her bedroom; she will have no peace, no privacy and no safety. His behavior is far beyond 'teasing because he likes her'; his behavior is downright dangerous. Is someone going to keep an eye on *him* 24/7 so OP's daughter can enjoy her vacation as well? Or is the whole vacation to pamper the bully? How in the world the family can be torn on this issue is ludicrous. If he goes on the vacation, OP and daughter remain home. Absolutely, without question, without apologies, without explanation, without guilt. This is a line in the sand that doesn't get crossed. The family can pity this young man all they want and bolster their egos by buying the kid off and saving him, but you don't save King Kong at the expense of Ann Darrow. That this behavior is tolerated and condoned by the school and the family, there is nothing to make this guy stop mistreating and abusing OP's daughter: the family is buying this kid into their family and that tells the kid they are okay with the way he bullies OP's daughter. If the family wants to help this bully, rather than pay for new clothes and a 2-week vacation, pay for therapy for him so he matures into a worthwhile human being and man. There is no way I would participate in this family vacation under these circumstances. I would stay home with my daughter and spend those 2 weeks doing something fun and exciting with her every single day: making memories with her on our *own* vacation where she doesn't need padlocks on her room or eyes in the back of her head to keep a step ahead of that snake.

[@bluekitty3731]

This!

[@DawnKellyMedia]

He physically assaults her. Im sure there is DV at home for Jeff. But CALL THE POLICE. Have him arrested for assaulting your daughter!

[@Ladiofthewoods]

Where the hell is the "zero tolerance" in freaking school? No, NTA! I would NEVER subject my child to that kid. Protect your child at all costs. Low contact with the dang family members that opted out of your daughter's safety.

[@JudithWilder-e5b]

Bullying is not always because someone likes the victim. Sometimes it’s garden variety herd mentality nastiness.

[@CaToRi-]

The way to handle the “he likes her” is: one adult with authority stops the boy and tell him “I noticed you have a crush on that girl”. The boy will immediately deny it. Then the adult says: “you spend lot of time following her so you like her. If you really don’t like her, you will ignore her. So if you keep following her, I will tell everybody that you like her very much”. The boy will be ashamed and will stop his behavior.

[@kellimolter]

Just wanted to say...I have a son and if he found out a boy was hurting one of his female cousins, he'd put a stop to it! Friend or not. Guess that apple didn't fall far from the tree.

[@joannemeadorsleonard4904]

You have to go to the superintendent for the district and the police to get anything done. The school will not do anything.

[@ladylauraanne]

NTA. OP is being a great dad. Daughters Aunt should have HER back PERIOD. Aunt is a POS for putting a bully in front of her own niece. It doesn't matter how Jeff grew up, the fact is he's a bully and shouldn't be rewarded. Jeff "needs" this? really? what about what her Niece needs? People have to STOP with the BS that if a guy picks on a girl he likes her. That's ABUSE. I speak from experience

[@NicoleBrown-oc7je]

This is likely to make it worse if the kid ends up getting disinvited. He will blame her instead of Sis being off planet in the first place. NTA and I would just stay home. Family need to back right off and I'd tell them that. This kid does need help so take him away separately but sacrificing their neice for this trip is not acceptable.

[@Rosebud198]

he would be NTA if Jeff did get disinvited...he's a family friend not family... you don't get to be an asshole to someone's cousin and still get invited t family trips

[@aralornwolf3140]

@@Rosebud198, He's NTA if he protects his daughter from her abuser... whether the "friend" is uninvited or he stays home with his daughter. If he and daughter go _with_ Jeff there, then he's Ascon 1.

[@Atreyah88]

I've watched way too many crime shows....does Jeff have something on OP's sister or are they doing something illegal between the sheets?

[@mwhe3111]

Oh, HELL, no. In fact, I'd limit my time with my parents as well if they don't have any more sense than this.

[@mialovesladybugs]

That parent needs to file a police report on the 16 yr old boy.

[@plaidpockets2248]

I love the Outlander reference!

[@spunkydiva]

No, you were standing up for your kiddo. She does not need to have him invade her family space as well.

[@cynthiaguzman7130]

He touches her? Thats assault. OP needs to go to the police because obviously the school and his parents aren't doing anything. When my daughter was getting bullied, her school bent over backwards to help. OP needs to step up in that department and that is why I would go as far as giving him a soft AH. But keeping her away from him on a family vacation.... NTA.

[@shirleytramel5245]

Please don’t subject your precious daughter to more bullying on a family vacation. Go somewhere else so she can enjoy it.

[@palithaolden8214]

No, that is truly scary because how is she supposed to sleep comfortably? It wouldn't be out of the realm of possibility that him and the cousin continually do "pranks" all vacation.

[@susansuresh6057]

Wait. ...what? Sister equates potential S A. with, " see, I told you he has a crush on her" ?!! What the Hell is wrong with this sister?

[@LadyDragonfire56]

If his family is willing to put his daughter in jeopardy for a POS I would go No Contact with all that feels that way.

[@mrsw2923]

I don’t care how messed up his life is. Do not allow him to continue to abuse your child. Period.

[@micheleking3160]

The nephew might be the one encouraging the bullying of his cousin. His friend is bullying his cousin and he is okay with it.

[@RowanTaylor-ev8pi]

i grew up in a horrible enviroment. somehow, it never occured to me to bully someone. he needs therapy.

[@thefoxesmind]

I would genuinely suggest that he switch his daughter to a different school if he can.

[@AbigaleKirsten]

Did Candy say ‘yes i do, stop it’ at 1:25 just because you said ‘elementary flirting’? Cause i understood what you meant.

[@tohrurikku]

People need to stop equating bullying someone and liking someone. Probably since he is friends with the cousin he got a bird's eye view of her life, and since she got things and the love that he will never have he is punishing her. He needs the cousin, and the stuff he is providing, so he can not take it out on him yet. Bet the aunt is hoping that if she sticks the two together outside of school that maybe they would end up as a couple, and all the troubles at school will end. Also curious how close the cousin and his friend is. If she thinks they were dating I can understand why the aunt wants to bring him along, and if the cousin is not out of the closet yet it could explain why she was a bit hesitant to fully explain things.

[@shirleytramel5245]

This sounds like bullying

[@groomer537]

At first I thought This kid liked her.. if they dis invite him he might take it out on her. I would not but her in that position

[@heatherjordan7572]

all I can say as this story is infuriating; family needs to put themselves in the daughters’ shoes. I couldn’t agree more @candythunder! My daughter was bullied because when she was a baby she needed surgery on her eyes, resulting in some scaring and this boy took it upon himself to literally torture my daughter. Needless to say after the school would only do so much, kids mom and me went a round and she lost. I’ve not ever been violent!! Ever. However you don’t mess with my child/children nor anyone else’s!! She still has trouble sometimes with her self confidence and she’s so beautiful!! He will forget but the child won’t ever

[@jenniferhoisington66]

Listen The situation with Jeff is unfortionate and if your sister wants to have him spend the weekend at her home that's on her but his needing a break should not come at the cost of your daughter's phyical and emotional well being his parents won't do anything The school won't do anything You're the one fighting for her Everyone else can see he's a creep why can't she Jeff backes out because he knows the bulling crap ain't gonna fly with you there

[@Rainbowofthefallen]

💛

[@RobinSiwula-w4h]

Why are you repeating these now I'm so tired of youtubers doing this reasons I unscribe

[@anakaliaeastwood]

K

[@Vox-Multis]

I've been watching this channel pretty religiously for months and I haven't seen this.

[@nikkiewhite476]

They post the whole live feed then will cut it up into shorter individual videos for people that don't like the longer version. Either watch the live/edited live or the short vid.

[@analyticalchick3064]

Haven't seen this one. Maybe you saw someone else react this same story?