Dr. Joseph Himle "Social Anxiety: A Hidden Disorder"

[@Cry4theSun]

What he began to explain around 6:00 (and 24:10) is so true!! I've realized this for a while now. I grew up being completely socially isolated and friendless, and therefore never learning vital social skills. Now I'm 22 and not only do I have a fear of social situations, but I literally do not know how to make friends and create relationships with people. I just do not know how. It does't come naturally to me at all. All those social skills that people naturally develop, whilst growing up and interacting with their peers and forming relationships, I never developed. Now I feel so behind everyone else. I'm so lost and I never know what the right thing to do or say is when I'm around people. I always feel like I'm doing everything wrong. And because I don't know what to do, even when I'm trying to be more talkative and social, I still end up coming off as awkward and weird to people. But anyway, I really appreciated this video. I agreed with so much of what he said. It's nice to see this disorder being so well understood.

[@YRUSoQuiet]

Our story sounds very, very, very similar:-)

[@opencurtin]

22 is very young start now and don't give up slowly expose your self to social situations like the Dr said do volunteer groups and stuff like that .

[@Azenzar74]

mee to "cry4thesun" i feel like you exactlly! in addition i have been suffering with obssessive complusive disorder and tourette syndrom and some symptoms of thought disorder.. actually i never feel happy Throughout my life...

[@marek9081]

Oh yes. That's so true. I'm in a similar situation. I have barely any social interactions and it's killing me. I just don't know what to do with/around people. I don't have the skills...

[@Kinghassz]

Cry4theSun i feel u bro try be patient and ask god for help

[@arbacle8903]

For anyone who's struggling with social anxiety you will overcome this!

[@ScissorN]

Suffered since i was young still suffering even today

[@jyfiorello]

This guy really gets it. I wish more people cared about this. Hard to find therapists that are experts in it.

[@jyfiorello]

@@briannajenell Exactly!

[@1smallgirl1bigdream]

Also nice to know I'm not the only one. I wish there was no such thing as this disorder

[@niccolomachiavelli2073]

Its not a disorder its a basic fear everyone has it. But when it stops you from doing things it just means u have too little social- and observational skills. Just train them!

[@CHRIS80MIC]

@@niccolomachiavelli2073 you're so wrong

[@vidyadharmaralkar6381]

I feel the same way😇

[@JohnStockton7459]

@@niccolomachiavelli2073your name is fitting cause machiavelli was a complete narcissist and here you are acting like you know everything

[@boom5732]

@@niccolomachiavelli2073 uh no social anxiety disorder is a disorder

[@Okk681]

Worst part about my social anxiety isn’t making friends. At this point, that ain’t even that high on the priority list. The worst part is it inhibiting my development in life and as an independent individual. It makes me heavily struggle with job interviews, phone calls, health appointments, everything like that. For me, these things are most important and avoidance leads to consequences. I guess I’m more concerned about my basic life necessities and financial stability before I can worry much about social life…I really really want to overcome this

[@Kn0wOneNos3]

I'm glad to hear you want to overcome it. So then ask yourself what are some small changes you can make to do exactly that? Exercise, meditation, visualization, diaphragmatic breathing, posture, facial expression, and more. Good luck.

[@jacquelinefisher5637]

He knows more about how we feel than we do. I wish treatment was more accessible.

[@guyfromostrava]

This was the best talk about social anxiety I've seen, and I've seen *A LOT* of them, trust me. I *LOVE* his approach with practising the social interactions, the common exposure tasks which do not happen exclusively in the office but more importantly they're being applied to real life situations. I *LOVE* how he understands that for some people like me a casual conversation is a hell of a complicated thing to go through involving many rules, many non-verbal and verbal queues. After two decades of having social anxiety I only recently figured why I am always fatigued after a social situation in which I do not even feel particularly fearful, it's because of those rules etc which I have to conscientiously think about constantly. My brain goes into overdrive, trying to adhere to all of the rules and once it's over I feel like sleeping for a day.

[@sednasix6608]

Isn’t it funny how “great minds think alike” ? But in our case it’s “socially anxious minds think alike” - I absolutely concur. I would have loved to have this guy as my treatment doctor. Exposure therapy really works though. I’ve been practicing on my own since mid February. I began by looking at people and not averting eyes. Then I would say hello to every person on my walks. Then I’d compliment. And as of my second day in a row I’ve been cold approaching people I find interesting and asking them for a photo for a project I’m doing on where I live as a photographer. Long way from looking down at the ground to here. But it works. Can’t imagine how much better I’ll become by the end of 2021.

[@Misswho5]

I remember the moment i developed social anxiety. I was in the third grade and my grades declined, confidence, health... social anxiety is real and a big problem. Now that I’m 30, I can pass and actually work in healthcare and have developed many social skills. Although sometimes I miss cues and it actually helps me keep level headed in stressful situations. Yet I still deal with many social situations that cause anxiety. I’m learning about myself and what to do in those situations and coping mechanisms. As well as lexapro, has helped me tremendously and a good therapist. I feel like my brain is finally processing things. I wish someone just noticed my symptoms at a young age and held my hand through it. Thanks for your presentation, it is enlightening and very well presented.

[@vernie7882]

@@Thomas-ui2bd Why are you copy pasting this everywhere?

[@rye41308]

Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! You have got social anxiety down to a tee!!! This presentation was spot on! The best description of social anxiety I have ever heard. I suffer with social anxiety and I completely relate to everything you said, the blushing, sweating and knowing that the fear is irrational but I cannot stop the emotions from reacting to the social thing you are fearing!!!!!!ughhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! And even when you expose yourself to the social thing you fear goes well, the fear does not seem to lessen!! It just persists and leaves feeling unbelievably frustrated and hopeless.

[@BereichAllgemein]

Thank you so much, its so true what you are saying. I'm 28 an suffer from this since childhood, got depressed for years now. After I lost another Job because of this I could not stand it anymore, took up all my courage and spoke to my general practitioner about my depression but i was afraid to talk about my anxiety too. She was very nice and precsibed me an SSRI. It helps as much as I am very determined to get help for my anxiety now as well. Hope it will work out.

[@ariya3833]

Hello. I'm Ariya, from Iran. I have been struggling with social anxiety disorder ever since I was a teenage boy (I'm 25 now). It's made me imprison myself in a prison of my own making. It has literally impaired every aspect of my social life. I want to make friends. I long for human connection. I want to have a normal life and experience the same ordinary things that one should experience in a lifetime. Sadly, I have lost all hope and have grown resentful and bitter (Not even "Man's Search for Meaning" has helped me). Life is already hard and filled with suffering and tragedy. But for socially anxious people, you don't even have the opportunity to enjoy the normal things (marriage, having your own kids, a fulfilling career, to name a few) that make life worth living.

[@whiterozz]

I suffer the same way. Do u want to talk about it

[@eddiew2325]

@@whiterozzyes my friend I love u so much

[@stephanieradford8324]

I’m actually more anxious after listening to this

[@vidyadharmaralkar6381]

Me too 😅😅😅

[@TombstoneChris]

Im Larry. Thats how I feel. I have been battling this since I was born, and the depression since I was 12. This sometimes is a losing battle. My goodness to hear that Im not the only one to have had this as a young toddler is amazing. I remember being 3 and hating to go places and be around people, all I wanted to do was hide. And I care so much about what others think of me, based on what Ive been told in my life, how people perceived me, and never being able to make friends, and people not giving me a chance. Im 32 years old now, I have 0 friends, and I havent had one since I was 11. and even then it was just a kid in class that talked to me thats it. I sometimes would rather be dead than to continue to be alone.

[@anelka2251]

hi, i have been though this too. and i can say today that i am closer To a normal person than to anxiety. i will not go deep into my story, but let me tell you there are solutions and they do work! i discover socialanxietyinstitute.org while searching on the Internet. their therapy is just great. if you are in the United states, you will be able to attend their behavioural therapy group. give it a try...

[@Kinghassz]

TombstoneChris i feel u bro. Try staying patient. ASK God for help. He hears u bro

[@jpatel262]

Omg that is so sad can't believe you struggled your entire life I am only 15 I have been struggling since 13 and it is really hard I lost all my friend. I can't imagine having it for your entire life.

[@TombstoneChris]

@@jpatel262 The bad part is I'm 38 now and it's worse than ever.

[@TombstoneChris]

@Starscream91 WTF. That was to cope with the pain. And picking up a phone and calling someone and putting money and putting money in my mailbox and having someone drive over and leave it in the mailbox yeah that takes a lot of social skills. I'm not proud of that time in my life. but you have no idea what it's like to be in so much painemotionally at the age of 12 that you find your grandmother's painkillers and you take some and it gives you this incredible feeling and nothing hurts anymore. And you drift away for a few hours. No tears. but the problem with that is you keep chasing that feeling and it leaves you nowhere. But it's better than hurting all the time. And even though that part of me is in the pastI hurt so much more and now it's not just emotionally it's physically from the years of deep depression. And not having the motivation to do anything. I sometimes that I never got clean. I have no reason to live and the sooner I part of me keeps thinking that it's going to get better. That hasn't happened only temporary.

[@CallMeMicahT]

Anxiety comes from loss, and the only way to fix anxiety is through courage. Courage is simply doing the right thing, and every time you perform courage; you're rewarded with confidence. I've been on medication, and it never really helped. It's deeper than a chemical imbalance. Emotional and physical pain are held in the same part of the brain, and I really think it can be painful dealing with social situations; so we avoid it. Our brains reward ourselves for avoiding it, and it becomes hard wired. All I know is when I have children, they'll never go through what I went through. I'll always be considerate of other people's emotions, and the second I solve this; I'll teach everybody else the method that helped me.

[@ThaveeshaAbeygunawardane]

Bro any luck?

[@jbug884]

Totally me! I’ve learned to hide this for for 40 years! I got poor marks in one of my degree modules, as I didn’t show up for a speech I had to present in front of 200 people. I just couldn’t do it, I’d actually rather die! I go bright red and blotchy, it’s sooo embarrassing and I get angry with myself. If someone asked me to walk and meet them, I’d make every excuse under the sun not to. I’d feel like I’m being watched or being judged because I’m walking strangely, even though I’m not. If I’m in a restaurant, I can’t get up and go to the toilet if it’s busy, as people may stare at me walking there! Strangely my husband doesn’t know, or has ever suspected a thing. I think this is because I don’t come across as shy in a one on one situation. But any more that a group of 5, without a stiff drink, I’d have heart failure if they were all listening to me! I’ve become a master of disguise and being living a lie for 40 years. I don’t know how I’ve managed to survive, hold down a job, marriage and kids for this long without anyone realising. Think I’m running on adrenaline most of the time actually!

[@bleach2319]

my friend wat u need is beta blockers. benzos and propranalol changed my life and i only take them as needed. just know its ok to take medicine because social anxiety is a real disease and has some roots in genetics.

[@brendan5419]

Masks have been a blessing for me in college doing presentations!

[@garypatterson2055]

I also suffer from chronic social anxiety disorder plus chronic depression. It's a horrible condition to suffer with as it takes over your whole life. I avoid family weddings gatherings because I don't have the mental capacity to deal with it. I actually just wish I was dead rather than being lonely. Sometimes I feel that I'm not living, just existing. God please help me in jesus name. God bless you all who suffer with this condition. ❤🙏🙏🙏

[@garypatterson2055]

@Charlie Gaming likewise my friend. You take care of yourself also.

[@Belovedselah]

I have the same two conditions and there are days where I wish I was dead. I want to get a good job so I can leave my abuser but not sure if I can support myself and my kids by myself when crippling anxiety is holding me back. With this condition only the lowest paying jobs will allow me to avoid my social triggers, or I can go tens of thousands of dollars in debt to get an education that will maybe allow me a good remote job. There are no guarantees.

[@Kiddwilkerson]

This is a great article for people trying to explain to there family or friends what it's like for them to live with social anxiety. That is usually not a easy task. Hope this helps.

[@sandypetitto1190]

I've suffered with this my whole life. I'm 59 years old. Also have OCD. Very disabling.

[@calicocatvlogger]

thanks for the video, i have social anxiety and i am vlogging my life to see if i can help more people with the same issues, such depression and anxiety, because I feel like when you realize you are not the only one suffering, you can at least find some hope

[@minar5653]

One of the best talks about this. He really gets it. Thank you. 💛🙏

[@cruznvo9756]

Social Anxiety has haunted me 50+ years... It has robbed me of friendships, stopped me following my dreams and so much more... Social Anxiety keeps me from seeking Medical Help?

[@king-davidfrancis7313]

24:38 this part hit me, it makes sense now. I'm 20 and I find it difficult to have conversations with my peers, and this is because of my lack of experience and inability to socialize, it almost seems like I'm a 15/16 year old when I'm with the guys and they're talking about things they've done, businesses, experiences e.tc it sucks

[@m0cker184]

This is a good talk. Most videos I've seen about social anxiety the speaker seems to have some knowledge about the subject but doesn't seem to really get it. Dr. Joseph Himle actually seems to get it.

[@ekkamailax]

This problem is caused by having a covert emotionally abusive parent who may be charming around others, but behind closed doors they put you down, humiliate you, degrade you, compare you to other kids and tell you all the ways you don’t measure up, criticize everything about your natural and authentic personality, so by the time you are 7 years old you are so ashamed of yourself you feel stifled around others. And since these types of parents are very charming around others, therapists will rarely (if ever) diagnose the real problem (abuse).

[@Belovedselah]

I think you're onto something.

[@ekkamailax]

I'm not a psychologist but in my humble opinion, all psychological disorders are the result of internalizing feelings of shame during the first 7 years of life. @@Belovedselah

[@jenayat2]

such a great presentation you just saved my life , its not w ay that i could be greatfull

[@toggarts]

I’m only 15 but I’ve had social anxiety for a long time. I’m not exactly sure how long ago it started but I do know throughout most of primary school (elementary school) I was always quiet around other people, I wouldn’t speak to anyone I didn’t know and I couldn’t hold a conversation with teachers by myself or with anyone else around, never mind answer questions when I was asked during class. I would be extremely anxious and feel like I’d say the wrong thing even if I was sure I knew the answer. This has continued all the way from early primary to present day. I get so anxious when my classmates try to speak to me, I’m afraid I’m blushing, sweating or I’ll stutter and make myself look like a fool, I feel like everyone’s staring at me all the time, watching my every move and judging me on everything I do and it’s just crushing any confidence I had left in myself and I have been trying to get help for over 3 years now. I’ve spoken to my parent about it but they just tell me I’m lying or I’m attention seeking and I should just shut up and be more confident, I can’t bring myself to try and get help any other way because I’m just too scared and I feel completely hopeless. I just don’t know what to do anymore.

[@alina-wh3he]

yeah same. i’m 15 also and literally can relate to everything u said. i’m now starting to develop depressive symptoms and it’s only getting worse. please, please get some help. that’s the only way rly? or try like online therapy/ self help.. there is always hope ❤️..

[@toggarts]

alina 123 I’m really sorry you’re feeling similar to how I am and I wish I could offer more help. I also have depressive symptoms and something happened recently in my life and it caused my parents to realise something is wrong and that I need help. I went to the doctors yesterday (it’s currently early in the morning for me, almost 5am) and they’re getting me some help. I feel much better just knowing that I have someone I can speak to who is able to listen and understand and help. I was extremely nervous to speak to them but I knew I had to. I would suggest speaking to your parents and just telling them exactly how you feel, no trying to hint just the full on truth. It’s terrifying but just know that there’s always people there who love you and want the best for you. (If you can’t speak to your parents speak to a teacher, they actually do help a lot) This is getting pretty long now and I don’t want to be a pain so I’m going to stop but I just want you to know that once you finally open up and speak, you realise how much hope there really is. You might not realise that at first but just keep going. No one should have to feel like this and even if you feel like you’ll burden people you tell, like there’s other people suffering more than you, like you don’t deserve help please just know that you’re wrong and everyone deserves help, no matter how small their problem is no one deserves to feel like this. Getting help is a strength not a weakness.

[@toggarts]

Really sorry for how long that was ;-; I have a tendency to do that... 😂

[@alina-wh3he]

ŶFreshŶ aww thank you so much for replying. i acc saw this before i went to the doctors this morning and honestly made me feel so much better about going. it was okay.. 🥴. i’m rly glad that u also went and as you said ‘getting help is a strength not a weakness’. i hope that ur ok and maybe feeling a bit better now ❤️❤️

[@toggarts]

alina 123 I’m so happy you went as well 😂 I guess it just shows that with whatever you’re going through there’s always people going through similar things and that you’re never alone. If you feel alone one day I’m here lmao. If you need to chat or anything I’d be happy to listen. Sometimes it’s easier to speak to someone over the internet who you don’t speak to face to face then it is to speak to someone in real life. Keep doing what you’re doing because you’re awesome ♥️

[@arbacle8903]

The worst thing about social anxiety is it impacts the things you love the most

[@digitaljake1]

Thank you Dr. Himle for sharing this message. Awesome Message. God Bless You.❤️

[@polipoket12]

I’m 37 years old suffering all my life

[@ethnicalbert]

39! :) but things have got a lot better gradually... you?

[@rishabhgupta6803]

How you manage with it? Me too suffering here

[@tracymurray9798]

55 year old man and been fightin this my whole life . Deppresion alcoholism to me is all a part of it . dont hav the time to say what it's done to me people who have never dealt with this dont understand . 127 days sober still fightin it dont give up we can be happy

[@stephcast3669]

33 have dealt with social anxiety since childhood and honestly this is the best I have ever felt about my self. Prayer, patience, and baby steps. God will get you through you just have to trust.

[@aquious953]

Social anxiety: check... substance abuse: big check... depression and general anxiety: check... unable to form friendships, meat woman, succeed in school or work: check.. now 50, all alone and without the skills to be social or any of the milestones to view my life as successful. I’ve tried dozens of meds and CBT, without much success. The only thing worse than this would be no end to life. Perhaps that is what I have to look forward to. SAD

[@Jonathanmentor]

Fantastic, video really informative. I suffered from social anxiety disorder for years. I have now overcome it. I help men/women to overcome social anxiety disorder through a practical/spiritual process.

[@shivamkumarchoudhary12]

How you overcome it ?

[@guyfromostrava]

I really liked the Common exposure tasks. What I think we as patients would benefit from is having our therapist by our side when doing those tasks ie going to a store. Firstly, it would be a great support and secondly, they would have the opportunity to give their view on our evaluation of how the situation went because in most of the social situations I can tell when it is going poorly for me but sometimes I'm not sure, it's somewhere between slightly good and somewhat poor and in those I realize my brain tends to classify those as bad. It would really be a great help if my therapist would be right there with me and we could talk about it right then and there.

[@Mirandorl]

One thing I know from experience is its easy to convince yourself you have no social skills and that you need to be taught them. I believed this all my life. I was known as "captain inappropriate" because of how awkward and doofusy I was. Then many years ago I was put on high dose effexor. It transformed me, and suddenly I had social skills I never knew were in there. People remarked on how good they were. My life utterly changed. But no one taught me any new skills - they just suddenly turned up when my confidence increased and the anxiety went away. A year later I came off the tablets. I relapsed, I went back to how I was before. It was devastating. The social skills evaporated. I was captain inappropriate again, and I was more depressed and anxious than ever. Anxiety kills your social skills. A lack of social skills does not cause your anxiety. Trying to read social skills books, taking assertiveness courses, going on bootcamps... I did the lot. NOTHING worked, except the tablets for that one year.

[@oscarmontes3230]

im 29yrs old n im have social anxiety. its ruining my life ;(

[@macnos]

+Oscar Montes I'm 28 and it's ruining my life too. You should look for a mental health specialist and see what can be done for you. I saw one the other day and he prescribed me zoloft so hopefully that'll work for me.

[@yamakasisvs7935]

+Oscar Montes are you want to me speaking to facebook for social anxiety ı am turkish

[@shidlkrim]

If you can afford it, look into purchasing Dr Thomas A Richard's program Overcoming Social Anxiety Step by Step. Alternatively, it can be found via torrents. The program made a massive difference in my life :-)

[@TheKetsa]

I'm 45 and it ruined mine. treat as early as possible.

[@mimmii]

I empathise with you, I am 53 & suffered so badly with this all of my life, it is a terrible thing. I hope that you manage to overcome it, some people do, it depends on the severity, my sincere best wishes to you Oscar

[@sajadtorkamani9399]

Great talk. Learnt a lot and look forward to learning more about some of the ideas from this talk.

[@Fuzorz]

am watching, so far really good video, and more importantly, scientific... a lot of youtubers will upload popular videos on this subject, but I'm afraid most are not scientific, they don't have the tools and all knowledge to approach this with the big picture in mind. One thing is to share your experience, but without a scientific perspective it will be very hard to improve oneself

[@elainegoad9777]

Tried these things all my life and it never gets better

[@vidyadharmaralkar6381]

Please don't loose hope

[@Kn0wOneNos3]

I'm sorry but it sounds like your attitude needs to get better. There may be other issues like diet and sleep which have a huge cascading impact on all of your biology and cognitive functioning or lack thereof.

[@paulovemx2222]

Just too see him talking to that lady he didn't know, made me sick and really uneasy. I wish I could afford therapy.

[@Cmct98]

Thank you for this help, it matters

[@bigtimetraderjaquay8321]

i need to overcome this I'm coming suffering severely.im 34 and basically haven't even lived

[@Kinghassz]

Maybe theres a hidden deeper purpose for this. Maybe its making you tougher and better. Ask god for help bro

[@paulheinrichdietrich9518]

@@Kinghassz No, there is no "hidden meaning" to this.

[@Kinghassz]

Fernando Alamón maybe there is a deeper cause to your anxiety and why your life is the way it is, in my case i found out that the reason i was in darkness and didnt truly live for most of my life was because me and my family were constantly abused by my dad who has narcissistic personality disorder and this was the reason for all the darkness and problems.

[@paulheinrichdietrich9518]

@@Kinghassz It is possible, but in most cases SA is the result of more than one cause.

[@wasaaddict2453]

Same

[@Viper4ever05]

My social anxiety used to come out in blushing, sweating, muscle cramping, and joint stiffness. I couldn't bend my knees, my leg muscles would get tight and painful making me unable to walk and my hands would stiffen preventing me from clenching my fists and making using utensils completely impossible. I had to put myself in a lot of uncomfortable situations to get over other parts of my anxiety like forcing myself to speak to large crowds where someone else could have easily volunteered or going to small social gatherings. Interestingly, I went to a high school reunion a few years ago after having suppressed my social anxiety for many years and found my symptoms came back on that day. I was perfectly ok talking to the spouses and dates of my former classmates but felt very uneasy speaking to my former classmates.

[@nishadck3680]

Social anxiety will complety destroying our growth in all area

[@K4kaylee]

I’ve been struggling with social anxiety for basically half of my life i found out that i had this anxiety phobia when i was 13-14 i didn’t realize that i have had this phobia since 2nd grade ... I’m 18 now . I’ve just turned 18 in november of 2019 and i’m still struggling with it. My mom and my other family members think i’m either crazy or i need to get over it or others will say i need to face my fears when in reality it gets worse. I unfortunately have no friends . Only 2 who i talk and text to online and have met one of them in washington. It has causes me to be bitter and almost depressed and sleepless... i wish i could get help or even get a job like all the normal human beings do . Yet again i’m too scared to get a job or talk to people in reality . it’s especially hard when no one in your family has struggled with this EVER. So they do it understand or support me on this . I’m basically on my own . i hope perhaps someone on here can give me good advice . I was hoping someone on here who has been though this can help me in any little way of could . Thank you for reading all of this ❤️

[@segunjay4153]

Give the Social anxiety institute by Dr Thomas A Richard a trial. Dr Richard himself suffered from social anxiety for 40 years before recovering using cbt. They run an international group for 21 days where you practice cbt skills to reduce anxiety and behaviorial activities.

[@Eiko286]

@@segunjay4153 I love Dr Thomas A Richard , I've used his audio and handouts for getting over social anxiety and I've had more success with them then any CBT therapist.

[@segunjay4153]

Hi Rose, check out Eiko85's comment about Dr Richard. She confirmed that his CBT therapy works for social anxiety. I'd advice you start from Dr Richard's social anxiety tapes and try the 21 day residential treatment option. This option is more hands on and Dr Richard guides you himself. Best of luck in your recovery and God bless.

[@jaystreet4004]

I have this and performance anxiety

[@hochrunter7264]

Im Larry. Thanx Dr. Himle.

[@indrakamalyadav2921]

Really

[@Alreadyfamous549]

I dont sweat when experiencing this but I do blush so so easily and its major and rapid heart rate and feels like my heart is gonna jump outside of my chest!

[@davidwhitcher1708]

I have suffered from generalized anxiety, social anxiety, and had 4 major depressions during my life. They are tightly related.

[@FushigiMigi]

Good video. This and similar disorders do ruin your life. By the time you recognize your issue, it is beyond curing. You must spend the time others are spending enjoying life just to keep yourself from killing yourself. Personally, exposure therapy has made my situation worse since my negative suspicions were verified.

[@aliyah12233]

I’m not sure why my social anxiety started. In high school I wasn’t like this at all but This had started when I was in college working in a restaurant. But nothing significant as to why it happened, I’ve always worked in a restaurant since I was 15. I truly don’t understand myself. I’m thankful my social anxiety isn’t so bad where I can’t do things on my own but it’s just talking out loud to people,introducing myself, public speaking kills me.. over thinking what people thing about me or how I portray myself. I almost feel like I don’t talk right at times, like I’ll mumble and doubt who I am and my capabilities. My heart races .. I just wish to be myself with out feeling this way. I’m still working on it

[@lorcapr3149]

hey! how long has this situation been going on?It's normal in this century to feel like this, mostly because we are overstimulated and overcompetitive. Many people are very judgmental and superficial, and this can influence a lot of people, whom feel that they are always out of place and not at the level of other people's expectations. I hope you're feeling better, if you want help I'm here.

[@jesscorletto4963]

I was lucky enough to have friends at school but we moved alot so had to do it. By lucky I found ppl similar to my own personality. Now 30 yrs old and hate social events, I over think everything, can get caught up with ppls facial expressions thinking they believe I'm an idiot or I just need to "spit it out", I hate stuttering to strangers or my thought was more clear then what I spoke. I just don't have a reason to be anywhere so I go nowhere. I'm not sad about it I just never wanted to live still don't if I could give my life to someone sick and wants to live I would they'd be much happier then me.

[@jesscorletto4963]

@sarah mika still haven't tried magic mushroom Ive only been told it tastes bad but no one tells me their experience. I use other substances to block thoughts. I know it's not the best thing but I do get to sleep.

[@jesscorletto4963]

@@Thomas-ui2bd thank you for your comment I have an older brother who thinks similar due to our childhood. He has helped a sh*t load. I just need to remember I do have support and not get mixed up in others success or failure - just focus on myself and that we're all just trying to figure out life no one is perfect. Some days are easier then others like Monday was horrible yet today was a good day.

[@PinkasBrown44]

Excellent source of info. Too bad it was only an hour. Wish there was more of this professional available, cause he sure knows a lot about SAD.

[@chantellejohnston3008]

Loved this crash course. Thank you.

[@gwho]

so good

[@wardka]

Great video - but goodness me! I shouldn't have watched the part about exposure therapy. Now I'm a little worried about going to a group meeting my therapist has encouraged me to attend in a couple of days. I'm afraid I'll be asked to call businesses which I don't want to do even once, let alone for hours! I'm afraid I'll be asked to strike up a conversation with someone, one on one. I guess the rest of them will have been through these same things though.

[@stevensoto1778]

Sounds like a really interesting video. I am going to remember it and practice it. Hopefully it works perfectly.

[@guyfromostrava]

As for the technology question, I've thought about it a lot actually and, just as was said, it's kind of a mixed bag. Sure if there was no 'online space' or social media I might have gotten more practise and now I might have been better *BUT* on the other hand I might have been isolated even more. I don't really have real life friends, all of my interactions happen online and I can tell you that without those online friendships and conversations I wouldn't be here right now.

[@QuantumEffectResidue]

This is really educating indeed, because it really described me; a lot of it! And to be naturally introverted instead of extroverted doesn't help either.

[@John-gj7ql]

All my life, SA has been a factor, big or small. Thank your lucky stars there is so much information out about it and people are talking. SA is treatable, and can be minimized. You might not see it go away forever but it doesn't have to run your life.

[@Laxman_Mahat_Syangjali]

When is the next session like this ? I want to bring my 13 yrs son who has social fear.

[@vidyadharmaralkar6381]

Your great dad, I am sure you will help your son to fight social anxiety

[@AngelHdzMultimedia]

I wish my parents who bragged a lot of being "smart" and knowing it all, knew earlier that I suffered from this and treated me accordingly. I had to find about this illness with my own research, and I knew a guy on the internet that lives near me, that also suffers this. Been years researching and nothing seems to work, no drugs, no online or in person therapy. This is a living hell. I hope someone smart one days finds a cure, or a workaround so we all can start finally "living" life.

[@letsgoBrandon204]

53:48 - 'Match' wouldn't work imo. I am doing an apprenticeship and was required to attend online classes during lockdown. I am FAR more outgoing online than I am 'face to face' as it were. The physical proximity makes all the difference. If it were video chat it might work but I think there would be a social barrier that would make it less intimidating.

[@boutemanaoune524]

I didn't choose the awkward life... The awkward life chose me !

[@BeatsByClover]

22 male no gf no friends suicide attempt and now i have a concussion from a failed suicide

[@alejandradlove]

Remember, You’re never alone, Sending you compassion mad love ❤️.

[@MrDominic600]

You’re young (about a year older than me) bro keep going forward and get CBT. There’s hope for you

[@lorcapr3149]

how did you try to suicide?I mean, in which way?If you want to talk about that

[@jaysondowney769]

@@lorcapr3149 she cares for you 💛

[@teeacupx]

He gets it

[@wolfferoni]

I wonder what the extra things he mentioned at the end were. Would that be day treatments or in an inpatient setting or something?

[@alaylapetrovich6129]

i love this video becsuse it gives me some amount of hope. im 19 years old i have a daughter nd i work part time. my social anxieth started to affect me 3 years ago. ive been in therapy for a year but my therapist has not talked about a lot of the stuff uve talked about. my anxiety has only gotten worse even while in therapy!! i just want to be a good role model for my child nd give her the life she deserves. does anybody know of any places or institues or therapy that reallg helped them? nd how do make sure that i can some what prevent this from affecting my daughter ?

[@normajeanlutz2065]

As you can see from my channel, I have a great interest in the subject of social anxiety.

[@ragnarwillz4115]

If I was dealing with social anxiety disorder. How do I know if I should see a psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist (and what type), or a social worker? Who do you go to?

[@maurov2104]

24:26 - 24:59 Damn!!

[@shidlkrim]

On several occasions Himle refers to stories of individuals with social anxiety but the stories are not provided. Could the individuals' stories be accessed? They would make Himle's lecture even more illuminating :-)

[@brianbat4980]

yes, very annoying. where is the link to the video?

[@shidlkrim]

I emailed Association of Jewish Family & Children's Agencies and they forwarded the email to Himle but no response has been received

[@brianbat4980]

+Michael Barker it would be great if we could get a hold of it. I will see if I can find it too

[@Lupinthe3rd.]

he may not be forthright due to Doctor Patient Confidentiality

[@jejelaurent9495]

Bully cause me to have this.I was bully when I was a child.

[@janoordeenaboobuker5018]

Dr can you upload a speach about the schizophrenia treatment please

[@notallgarbage]

Yeah... he's spot on... I: Score 9/10 on A.C.E.s Have complex PTSD Have avoidant personality disorder Have social anxiety disorder. Know what major depression is Know what alcohol dependance is My body is damaged... I feel my nervous system is broken... Death will fix all of this... it's unfixable otherwise... What lead to this is a long chain of abuse and/or neglect, by AAALLLLLLL the important people in my life, FROM BIRTH to 20yo... My IQ is around +1 standard deviation, which puts me in the gifted category, right below genius... intelligence did not help much... in fact, intelligence might have helped in generating a lot of anger and frustration, in me... Yep... that's that...

[@lorcapr3149]

I feel the same, like something broke inside of me. I always been extremely confident, goal driven and social during my life. However 4 months ago I had a psychotic attack that lasted for more than a month, a paranoid type with delusions and hallucinations. After all the delusions went away I started to feel very depressed and retired socially. I stay home the whole day, have no motivation to do nothing, don't like the things I used to like before, I have no energy and avoid to stay with other people. Life became a living hell and don't know what to do, I'm trying to take different medications, but they don't seem to help at all. I'm starting to have your same thoughts about death and about how it's impossible to come back to my normal life.

[@nyben2166]

@@lorcapr3149 I just want to let you you know that I was suffering from social anxiety I have been stuck in bottom of my darkest thoughts , but lately I feel like I am recovering slowly, I think it is because when I unintentionally faced my daily biggest social fears and guess what, I didn't not succeed managing it and all the non related problems I have been avoiding has happened all at the same time, so I figured out that I am no longer have stress at certain situations that was very hard for me to even imagine my self in before, I say that you or any other person suffering from the social anxiety like me can at least break the fears and then you will surely form an immunity to your related daily situations that makes social anxiety worse, I still suffering somehow but I believe that failing many times to the point where I used to fail in managing these situations ( then you will find yourself automatically have no stress wich means you can successfully deal with any scenario normally) is what makes me develop confidence and courage against social anxiety and indeed will lead to success

[@TheJenii64]

Great vid,nice to know im not the only one

[@marktestfies3005]

Hope to meet this guy one dat

[@fatihkan2601]

Result is the same for everybody but I believe cause is different in each case and solution should be unique for every patient. Cause is very dynamic. and the most important thing about this disorder is you would never convince anyone who got this to see a doctor. Because they're full of lies they told themselves and keep telling. In their perspective basically this world made them like that and even if they're recovered they won't go back to that world anymore. They would like to create their own special people environment and never get out of it. They understand this is a mental illness and believe me most of them are happy just like that. I do understand. I'm one of them. If there was a country of socially anxious people, I would be the president.

[@indrakamalyadav2921]

Yeah I got this

[@AngelHdzMultimedia]

Sure about that man? xD I wouldn't even be able to be president LOL. I don't think any of us could. Wishing you health, joy, and peace in this living hell of anxiety, from a fellow.

[@firdauszulkifli5475]

My siptom until now like eating Infront people, write Infront people,sweating ,I take madecine for 17 year but canot heal from this siptom yet still worried about it

[@pembatamang8233]

50:36 I can relate to this so very much. I hope things get better.

[@emonprodhan2563]

this is helpfully video for us

[@TheMrKlassy]

I was bullied all the time from middle school up, but especially high school. I had no friends in high school but eventually some nice people let me sit with their group at lunch in my junior and senior years. I'm 30 now and still have 0 irl friends. The only way I can date is online dating, because it takes so much of the guess work out and sets the premise. But becauss I dont look great, its typically hard for me to find someone I like who is interested back. I'm 30 now and still get bullied. Rumors started by management at my job about how im transgender, just when I thought I was starting to fit in. A few people who openly mocked me in front of other people at the gym, etc. It really has ruined my life and often think I'd just be better off if I died. Because of this Im not relaxed around others like I am at home and always on guard or space out. A girl comes up to me at the gym flirting with me and I basically act like she doesnt exist and get out of the situation as soon as possible. Not really sure what to do anymore, psychologists cookie cutter advice has not helped me so far and exposure therapy has not helped much. Example, Im still awkward and self conscious at my job ive been at for years.

[@eddiew2325]

I love u so much

[@Dua99999Ve]

10:50 the story about the rejection or the no is quite often not that harmless of an experience. It's not just a simple no. It's public humiliation kind of rejection. Everyone knows you are the weirdo, and she rejects you as though you are a rapist once she finds out who your character is. Women don't need to have extraordinary character. Men do. Men suffer far more from mental and emotional disorders than women. Cause Women are more judge by their appearance, not their social skills.

[@amelaalic9037]

+Brandon Hey everyone, the best results that I have had was by following Kevs Control Plan (i found it on google) - I found it themost helpful info that I have ever followed.

[@jonathanbyrd90]

Somebody has social anxiety

[@TheChuckvm]

And in India u dnt even have any medical help for this and i dnt even know what i m gonna do in future

[@chandrasekharpokuri9367]

TheChuckvm yes boss in India not available

[@Kinghassz]

Ask God for help bro

[@paulheinrichdietrich9518]

@@Kinghassz God, the best psychiatrist.

[@shivamkumarchoudhary12]

@@chandrasekharpokuri9367 Bro do you ovecome it now ?

[@HardRockMiner]

Please post something on Cognitive Distortions. I have a close friend who has it and I can't find anything on it. Please?

[@rsavage9518]

Nice

[@user-ki3yg5lq6c]

wish there a was translation for this video

[@arbacle8903]

Social anxiety doesn't get near enough attention

[@eddiew2325]

Um will u marry me

[@letsgoBrandon204]

Lockdown really doesn't help with exposure practice

[@janoordeenaboobuker5018]

DR, my son suffering by schizophrenia illness, so he do not want to do that treatment, How can I convince to

[@sunilghising2995]

Iam 29years old.My life have totally ruined by Social Aexienty since 18year.How to ged rid from this?

[@AFMone92]

Why the dislikes?! Smfh

[@Beanmachine91]

my ego is the antidote it seems

[@cafe1234arsenal]

Hi, could you please explain? I have had a similar thought. I also suffer from social anxiety.

[@marcjouannet3794]

I think when a victim of abuse/crime finds it unexceptable to him to equalise. They they then meet abuse / crime neutral people and abuse/criminal people on the streets and through life. For the former talking equalisation which is unexceptable to them may result in having less in common and the latter being torture

[@marcjouannet3794]

Modifying health provison to free at point of use but criminal pycholgist on departure from hospital determining bill for those who have misbaved throughout there life may act as a boost to the victims of crime who find equalisation unexceptable and diminish moral of criminal/abuser people and gain the understanding of abuse/crime neutral

[@marcjouannet3794]

I say don't worry about it victims of crime +1 world lifesavers +1 world if the soul is immortal

[@marcjouannet3794]

A change in political constituency where the victim of crime did not practice equalisation should move to a new area for exposure eg UK conservative to labour

[@marcjouannet3794]

victims of crime don't worry about none equalisation take pride in it

[@marcjouannet3794]

Tackling social anxiety and not taking pride in not fighting back the defence of future defence

[@alexmannen1991]

people are really judgmental and hostile to you if you have social anxiety even as adult you just come off as weird if you are silent or have a reserved bodylanguage

[@MrDominic600]

@@Thomas-ui2bd ikr that sounds like an excuse lol. And honestly it’s pretty irrational for ppl to be hostile just because someone doesn’t talk, they’ll just ignore u if anything.

[@ianrobinson4200]

Yes, very outgoing/extroverted people in particular are terrified of you if you don't talk much because they're used to yap yap yapping constantly.

[@AngelHdzMultimedia]

It's ironic how healthy and/or extrovert people always point that the "problem" is us the introverts and anxiety patients, but in reality is them that can't shut their mouths up, and needs constant socializing or they are the ones that have a hard time and get bored. We can be all by ourself for hours, days, weeks, months, years and we don't demand them anything, but they are always demanding us to make jokes, talk, small talk (ewww!), go to parties or anywhere randomly without planning. It's exhausting!

[@seanvanderbyl2097]

Does anyone also experience eye contact with anyone being extremely awkward and intense ? Also not being able to smile during eye contact or conversations. Or trembling / shaking lips ?

[@vidyadharmaralkar6381]

Yes, sean, this is a common problem for the person who has a social anxiety disorder. I am facing this problem.

[@nightsky8012]

Since I knew I am an LGBT, I withdraw a lot from social interaction, which affects my life a lot.

[@kittyr.gasser104]

Great Video! Thank you.

[@kittyr.gasser104]

To cure anxiety attacks totally, you must learn what cause it, ways to avoid it and also exactly what make it worse.You'll find out further here: help1.info/panic-attacks-remedies

[@zacharybashore]

Coffee for economy

[@JB-qj6jh]

Living in the UK I used to be different 6 years ago now I'm a mess,& the shit thing is I can't work because of it and I can't get the right benefit basically feed you to the wolves like what do I do? No money & that's just the tip of the iceberg

[@aeaeaeluis]

53:31

[@Amber-le8ds]

Nope not alcohol.. herion

[@luckyluckyloulou6100]

This guy’s expressing hand movements more than usual as like he’s thinking of past hand gesture 🤌 courses....