An Adoption Story: Ian’s Long Kept Family Secret and Surprise Heritage

S2 EP2 (2024 Series) An Adoption Story:
Ian was born in Waihi, New Zealand, and adopted as an infant. He didn’t discover his adoption until he was 48 years old, at which point he slowly started to find those connections with his birth mother. With the help of his daughter Yolande, Ian then uncovered his previously unknown Māori heritage.
This is his story.
Māori words and their meanings in Ian's story:
Whakapapa = Genealogy
Marae = Ancestral meeting grounds
Iwi = Tribe
Te Arawa waka = Double hulled canoe which came here from Hawaiki
Hawaiki = Our ancestral homeland in Polynesia
Te Arawa = The name of our tribe
At the end Matua Anaru says "Tēnā koe", which is a formal greeting loosely translated as "Hello"
My Story
Welcome! Here on my channel, I share my personal journey as a Russian-New Zealand adoptee-adopted at two from Arkhangelsk, Russia-I also share my series An Adoption Story, a special series of mine, which shares the journeys of adoptees from around the world.
Learn about my life as an adoptee, my upbringing in New Zealand, and the significance of embracing my roots-not only with those connections in Russia but also from Ukraine and Kazakhstan.
➡︎ • My Journey and Story
➡︎ • My Family
➡︎ • My Birth Parents
An Adoption Story
Explore incredible stories of adoptees, each with their own unique path.
➡︎ Season Two (2024-present) • An Adoption Story (202...
➡︎ Season One (2022-2023) • An Adoption Story (202...
Subscribe
Don't forget to Subscribe: / @alexgilbert
Connect With Me
➡︎ Instagram: / alexgilbert
➡︎ Facebook: / nzalexgilbert
I'm Adopted
➡︎ Website: imadopted.org/
➡︎ Facebook: / imadoptedorg
➡︎ Instagram: / imadoptedorg
I’m passionate about connecting with adoptees and sharing stories that matter.
Follow along as I reflect on family, identity, and connection.

[@EthanManson-z6x]

I am one of his grandsons, I am so proud of him for finding his birth parents ❤️ 🎉

[@alexgilbert]

So awesome Ethan! Thank you for watching. Ian is a top man. Was so nice to be able to share his story!

[@Bettynz]

Such an incredible story & whakapapa you & E & R share Ethan. (Aunty L)

[@angharadswansea9343]

Aww how lovely of you! ❤️

[@marmalutechaser9411]

❤

[@randolphholladay9953]

😅❤

[@MM-uv6kb]

Thank goodness Ian's mother didn't keep him. Being brought up by a mother whose child didn't ' fit in with her plans ' would have been a lonely and loveless childhood. Such a blessing to have been raised in a family that gave him love and security.

[@wap9137]

Could have been rape or incest

[@kaizma88]

@@wap9137 his bio parents were married when he was born... She just didn't want children so when she got pregnant she'd give them up for adoption.

[@Fern-z8g]

​@kaizma88 you mean she gave away all her kids ? 😮 I'm horrified...me it's the reverse...it's my son that doesn't accept me as his biological mother..😢

[@kaizma88]

@@Fern-z8g I think she gave away two children.

[@MM-uv6kb]

@@Fern-z8g horrifying indeed and I hope that the heartbreak with you son will somehow be healed and even resolved 🙏🏼

[@flamingogirl57]

This brought so much joy to my heart. I too was adopted, but my parents always said I was their chosen child from the time I was old enough to understand. They had my original birth certificate with my birth name on it. It was given to me when I turned 18. I wanted to know more but didn't do anything about it until I was given a DNA test at 60 years old. I found my huge biological family from both sides. My bio Mother had passed away and my Father knew nothing about me. But agreed to meet me. As soon as Poppa and his wife saw me they knew without a doubt I was his. I met my half siblings and was floored when my sister Cindy came walking in. We could be identical twins! 7 plus years later I get a call every day from my 93 year old Poppa checking on his girl ❤

[@KarenThaler-x8v]

A very sweet story. I am happy for you .

[@jamsplits]

Where could I begin to find my husband's family / tribe? Adopted around '62. In children's home from -when? taken about aged three. Grew up in UK. Never been back to Rotorua where his life began

[@naomisgram1]

My daughter was adopted and came to us at 3 days old! We made sure that she knew as soon as she could understand, that she was adopted. I think it is terribly unfair to the child to deceive them. Of course she was curious about her biological family, so when she was 18, she met her birth mother. Luckily the agency through which we adopted her had kept in touch with us is well as her, so no searching was needed. Her birth mother was 16 and knew that at their age marrying the birth father would not work out, so she made the difficult decision to adopt. What a blessing it is to have her in my life, plus I have 4 grandchildren!

[@blairariavanderkamp3405]

Why do people still think thay you have to be married to raise a child? Your daughter's parents could have easily kept if if they had support from at least one set of parents or other adult relatives. I can't imagine the heartbreak of giving your child especially first child away just because you can't get married right away. 💔

[@juliaforsyth8332]

@@blairariavanderkamp3405 Why should they be expected to raise the child? They may have felt that they weren't able to either.

[@jenniferscholes1376]

It was such a different time when he was adopted. Tbe thinking was that the child shoukd be "protected" from that knowledge, and thus the secrecy. So sad.

[@ianleigh4761]

In the forties options were not so supportive of working mothers and her husband was working at sea. Ian’s mother was also an only child of a mother who thought she was given the wrong baby and never spoke to her. Bound to screwup big time.

[@francinegreenway8451]

Times have changed for sure

[@Evan-e-cent]

Congratulations to Ian and his new-found family. It is a nice heartwarming story of discovery. Leigh is my sister and she played a big role in the story. The discovery of a Maori connection has been really special for Yolande who has always had an interest in traditional medical knowledge.

[@alexgilbert]

Thank you so much for watching! It was such a nice story to put together. I am really proud of it and really proud of the family who told it so well.

[@kathyverrelli5170]

Through the show Long Lost Family an adopted girl was able to find her birth father who was also Maori. He introduced her to their culture as well. I bet you all are related in some way. So happy for Ian and his entire family. It feels so good to find out where your God given origin comes from.

[@ianleigh4761]

Thanks Evan

[@marykelleher5593]

Ian ,you were very blessed to have such a beautiful wife and amazingly supportive daughter ❤️ greetings from Ireland ☘️☘️☘️☘️

[@ianleigh4761]

Thankyou

[@dfoxtrot724]

To me Leigh is the light of this story. Her easy, constant smile and warmth, support and love for Ian is steadfast. I'm so happy they met. The bio mother is cold; shame on her for not embracing such a kind man.

[@alexgilbert]

Thank you for watching! It was a great story to sit down and do for their family!

[@wap9137]

Could have been rape or incest.

[@minkgin3370]

Did the original mother have all 3 of her children adopted or just Peter ?

[@marycook1644]

She might have had a bad childhood or maybe mental illness. But he sure had good adoptive parents and his wife and children and fabulous ! So incredible to find out about his tribal heritage ! 🌺

[@joantaylor468]

​@minkgin3370 ...in this film he asks her, "Why did you adopt us out?" ...or something like that so it sounds like all e were given up for adoption. It would be great to hear if he found them both....

[@sasharemez7373]

I always thought I was adopted, because I was treated as a scapegoat. Turns out I wasn’t adopted, I just didn’t fit into my parents plans either, they kept me, but I had a long path to healing from rejection. I am well and happy now, and I am not bitter towards my parents or anyone else who has hurt me. I been able to forgive, and let go and enjoy my life and to practice loving others because love overcomes all wrongs.

[@Anita-gp1gv]

Ditto , my mother told me daily she hated me , wished I had never been born etc, suffered great neglect , but she suffered mentally when my father was killed at Christmas. So I had to parent my mother. But she gave me life and could be very nice occasionally , so I still miss my mother

[@sasharemez7373]

@@Anita-gp1gv yes, our mothers can’t give us what they don’t have, and they don’t have it because they are not whole and are hurting. When I started showing love to my mom, she started giving me love in return. We have a good relationship now. I am happy that we were able to have this relationship while she is alive.

[@HillAmirah1982]

God bless you❤❤❤❤❤

[@joycew3086]

Same here

[@ianleigh4761]

That’s amazing you have been strong enough to forgive and let go. It’s the best thing for your health . Good on you. Leigh

[@trinidad2450]

When Ian and the Māori gentleman touched their foreheads, I felt as though Ian were receiving a belated welcome into his heritage, and a passing on of their beloved traditions. Even before Ian found out about his heritage, I saw the tattoo on his left arm, I thought, “Oh, look just like the Māori tattoos.” Dear Ian, welcome home, yes, welcome home!❤

[@marycook1644]

I am American and don’t know alot about these tribes But it is so interesting. I am happy that he found his wonderful heritage ! Sad about his birth mother. But l wonder if maybe she had a difficult childhood and she wasn’t emotionally able to care for her children.

[@ianleigh4761]

It was a beautiful moment. And it’s been wonderful being accepted into the whanau(family)

[@francer1793]

That was a beautiful story his daughter did a beautiful job with the whakapapa Ki ora whanau❤❤❤

[@BrendaAnderson]

I can't imagine finding out I was adopted at age 48. I knew myself from a very young age. Imagine how heartbreaking it was for Ian to hear "you didn't fit into my plans". Well, I guess it was a blessing that she gave him up rather than the alternative. Thanks for sharing his story Alex in such a kind way.

[@ianleigh4761]

Yes to all of that and Alex has been amazing

[@elvirahkershaw]

i am adopted from kirov, russia. I was adopted in the 90's. youre videos had me crying. God, I wish I could go and find my family. amazing, thanks for making .!

[@bettyhudson979]

There’s a young man on You Tube that re unite Russian adoptee’s to their Russian families. I can’t remember his name but research for him.

[@elvirahkershaw]

@bettyhudson979 yeah I tried reaching out to him no luck sadly

[@susanrodrigues1796]

Do a DNA

[@sallyr4057]

What a wonderful heritage he has. So happy for him to have found that sense of belonging.

[@rosalind442]

His birth mother could’ve chose more gentle words replying to his question as to why she gave him up. Glad you found out what you needed to know.

[@ianleigh4761]

@@rosalind442 Right on! Thankyou

[@kewareihawkins-mcclutchie2672]

Kia Ora Ian,thanks for sharing your korero on ur whakapápá . I remember meeting you in Taupô many years ago.we are related through Robert Charles Lucas Reay.

[@stellam461]

Wow!😀

[@AnneAlready]

That little boy was loved...you can really feel this in the early childhood photos. And then the beautiful wife and children. The discovery of such rich heritage...absolute icing on the cake. So happy for Ian. Thanks for sharing this beautiful story.

[@2_thumbs_up_baby]

"You didn't fit into my plans" Wow that says it all !!!

[@pffp6246]

Wow Ian you related to my children on their dad’s Side…. Amazing and that photo of your real Mum I have seen that face for the last 25 years in my In law’s home of my kids Great grandmother yes Nanny is from Awahou , so happy for you and your whanau to find your roots

[@alexgilbert]

Thank you so much for watching! Such a beautiful and powerful family all round. You can reach out to Ian's family through the info below in the description! :) Thank you so much for watching Ian's story!

[@bluegrasshack3810]

10/1/24: ‘Birth’ mom. This adoptee thinks maybe your ‘real’ mom is the one who nurtured and raised you all those years. That was the case with me.

[@nicolelillis2077]

​@@bluegrasshack3810Very true and I couldn't agree more.! Ian's so-called 'real' mother gave him up as a baby for adoption. She even stated to his face that "he didn't fit into her plans"....?? Whereas his 'adoptive' parents brought him up in a loving, stable, supportive home. They were always there for him and truly cared about him, so they're his 'real' parents - not the cold woman, who birthed him. Ian seems like a lovely gentleman, with a wonderful family and I wish them all the very best.☮️

[@CBD7069..]

Thought he looked Māori. And he is. Bless his heart and his family.

[@stellam461]

😀🤗

[@gigidee7928]

Something about the stories of older adoptees is so touching. Of course all ages are touching, but I think it’s to do with how many of the older adoptees didn’t even know they were adopted and had to come to terms with so much secrecy as well as go through an identity crisis as adults. It’s so healing seeing them get their answers

[@alexgilbert]

For sure! Good to hear from all ages, 100%. Thank you so much for watching!

[@mystik.mermayde.aotearoa]

Yes exactly ❤

[@ianleigh4761]

@@gigidee7928 it certainly has been a healing journey at long last

[@carolfisher1645]

Wow - Ian This is just so beautiful. What an amazing story. I am so happy for you and your family. XXXX

[@alexgilbert]

It's a beautiful story. Ian did an awesome job sharing his journey with me. Thank you for watching!

[@katyngah-ere4942]

I am so glad my brother was brought up knowing his bio family so that he had a sense of where he belonged. We sent him to his bio-parents for holidays if he wanted to go (which tbh was hardly ever). We attended his extended bio family passings etc just so he had those connections. He honestly just wanted to stay with us and around us all the time probably cause we all spoilt him in our own way as he was the baby of our family.

[@marycook1644]

So sweet how he loves your family and you love him SO much ! Sounds like a beautiful life ! Blessings to you and your family from California ! 🌺

[@katyngah-ere4942]

⁠​⁠@@marycook1644thanking you kindly for your message 🫶. We do love our brother very much and I know it was reciprocated through actions, affirmations and spending time with each other. Many blessing to you and yours always

[@ianleigh4761]

@@katyngah-ere4942 that’s so valuable

[@jenni48.32]

This is a wonderful life story and what a great family spirit and with strong New Zealand roots.

[@AnnetteMcgougan-se9yu]

What a sad start,with a beautiful ending

[@lisaesquivel2154]

Maybe there’s something wrong with me because I wasn’t raised by my birth mother but I have always felt complete. I truly feel and believe that family is the circle of people you keep close

[@allisonstogden3240]

❤

[@ianleigh4761]

@@lisaesquivel2154 I’m so glad you can feel complete and good about everything. I wonder how old you were when you were told?!

[@claire5399]

Everyone’s story is different. I was adopted in 1956. I always knew I was adopted, but I was denied a lot of important information, fortunately my birth Mother located me when I was 23. I have always wondered about genetics , I didn’t look like anyone in my family. I always wondered who I looked like, lots of pieces missing. I have inherited genetic disorders. In the state I live in it’s against the law to see my original birth certificate.

[@lisaesquivel2154]

@@ianleigh4761 maybe because I always knew what was happening.

[@lisaesquivel2154]

@@claire5399 I can see that. That does make a very big difference.

[@raquelgraham]

What a great documentary. Such a beautiful family. ❤

[@alexgilbert]

Thank you for watching. I really appreciate it! It was a great documentary to put together!

[@IrisKristina]

Stunning story! And I liked very much the open way how to talk about it all. How nice you have found your cultural roots!

[@alexgilbert]

Thank you so much for watching. Always important to know and learn about your roots. Of course, if you want to!

[@user-vf3zi6we3g]

What a wonderful man with a lovely caring family. Thankyou for your story.

[@ocp28]

So proud of Ian and his amazing wife and kids. ❤

[@alexgilbert]

Creating Ian's story for his family was incredible. It's truly an incredible story!

[@WaotJay]

Beautiful story. Glad you found your heritage. We pacific people are always connected to family.

[@celiaberdes]

Alex: an excellent film! I wish every adopted person could have such a film. Also a lot of older people would love to have such a film. I made such a film about my dad for his eightieth birthday, and it was a big hit in the family. I used a woman here locally in Chicago that knew how to edit film, and between my research and her editing, the final product was excellent. Congratulations!!

[@alexgilbert]

Thank you for watching. I really appreciate it :) Thank you!

[@ianleigh4761]

@@celiaberdes yes Alex has made a beautiful job of bringing Ian’s story to the world. As congratulations on making a beautiful life story for your father

[@privatename8228]

What a beautiful and powerful life story.

[@alexgilbert]

Thank you so much for watching. Means a lot!

[@jerrilynhenson9024]

That’s amazing. Wonder if his adoptive parents knew how he was given up so they never wanted him to know? But he sure has an impressive native family tree. Too bad he couldn’t have met his biological dad.

[@esmeraldagreen1992]

Well, would you want to know that your biological mother abandoned you because you didn't fit with her plans? I bet you she told them or the hospital did, and that is why they never told him. They wanted to spare his feelings.

[@jerrilynhenson9024]

@@esmeraldagreen1992 that’s what I wondered. It could have been brutal hearing something like that as a child.

[@ianleigh4761]

@@jerrilynhenson9024 As far as we know for Ian’s parents it was a straight out adoption with no knowledge of his birth situation

[@johnhunt2390]

@@ianleigh4761It was a small community. People gossip…

[@pattiwhite9575]

Most interesting genealogy. Amazed the Maori's keep so much historic records. His mother was a bit odd with her response that he didn't fit in with her plans.

[@marycook1644]

I wonder what her background story is. Maybe she was troubled by her past. But at least he was able to find his great tribal heritage ! Blessings from California ! 🌺

[@joslynandcarltonramsubhag1836]

Love learning of adoption stories and finding real parents and siblings!

[@jmk1962]

Real parents are the ones who bring you up, nothing more real than that. The correct phrase is "birth parents", the ones who made you and gave birth to you.

[@Toninz]

Beautiful story thank you so much for sharing 🙏🙏🙏

[@alexgilbert]

Thank you for watching. It was a beautiful story to put together!

[@barbarameehan113]

We adopted our 2 children and they knew right from the beginning. Sadley our 55 yr. Young daughter just passed away. She had some health problems but this was totally unexpected. Our hearts are broken. Her funeral is tomorrow.❤

[@alexgilbert]

Hi Barbara. My thoughts are with you. All of our thoughts are with you during this difficult time. 🙏

[@mickieswendsen1302]

I'm SO sorry for your loss!!

[@ianleigh4761]

Our sincere commiserations for your loss of your loved special daughter.

[@Liz-sn1mm]

Her children "didn't fit in" with her plans????? Guess he's lucky he was even born.

[@mystik.mermayde.aotearoa]

@@Liz-sn1mmYeh i was so gutted to hear that part too 😭 i guess not all women are cut out to be mothers.

[@caroleminke6116]

My mother gave up my half brother at birth & when I found him @ Ian’s age it healed a lot of wounds for them but I still was rejected by the family… she actually disowned me even though I was her biological child & only acknowledged the 3 oldest kids as hers. It’s because there was incest in that Irish line & her mental health was never good

[@debbietrabeau3764]

That was cold

[@JCKeternitatis]

And not sacrificed too a 100 yrs previously...

[@blairariavanderkamp3405]

Tell me about it. Not every woman is meant to be a mother unfortunately

[@patriciamacdonald7196]

Nice story however, there is no mention of how lucky he was to have been raised by loving parents giving them the credit for a good life. I see this often in people who find their biological parents. As parents of an adopted son it amazes be that people who find their birth mother (or parents) seem to forget the ones who were there for the joys, difficulties, and boundless love, etc that comes with rising a child. Our son asked only once about his birth mother, telling us later that we were the best parents he could have had - what a blessing.

[@ceceliagunness1641]

Yes, I was thinking the same thing.Very unfair to the adoptive parents who gave him the foundation on which he built his life.

[@genespell4340]

Families can be made by people coming together as friends and end up much closer than blood relatives. While I am glad he found his birth mother, I hope he will look at his adoptive parents with love because they truly loved him and wanted to protect him from any angst about being given away and wondering why he wasn't good enough in the eyes of his birth mother.

[@joanmccafferty4805]

Parents had passed

[@annabrahamson4320]

My husband was adopted from the hospital a week old. He always knew he was adopted. He never wanted to meet his parents until my 3 rd daughter was born and then he just wanted to see pictures as to what do they look like. His adopted parents were his real parents always, the other two gave him away, just the genetics he would like to see.

[@mandyconnecteddogs]

As an adopted person, I have to tell you all that finding biological parents , and the need to, didn't have anything to do with my feelings about my adoptive parents. To me, my adoptive parents are (were, as they are both now passed) my parents. But my biological family was important to find as I needed to know where I came from. Adoption is messy, and affects people in ways we don't even fully understand. It's so vital to know....and not to be made to feel bad about that either. Honestly, adoptees didn't make any of the decisions and the last thing needed is guilt over maybe offending adoptive parents when seeking answers. I went through this with my dad, and it took a while to smooth it all out. Although I understand how you may feel, it's still not fair to guilt people into feeling anything. Some adoptive parents are not great either. I am sure you all are, but just be aware that this is a deep wound even if unknown. Needing to find your roots shouldn't be something seen as negative. No adoptee should feel guilty about that.

[@susanb4816]

I was never adopted. It would be interesting to see stories of the kids who never got chosen

[@leonip9142]

That's so sad. I'm sorry you were never chosen. I hope you are doing well.

[@susanb4816]

@@leonip9142 i have never felt like i belong anywhere. Now i am 64, i realize i never will and that is heartbreaking. For me, the lesson is do what you can when you can, don’t leave it to others.

[@betmebuckwheat51]

So sad. I hope your life was full of love, happiness & all your dreams came true !!!!!!!

[@blairariavanderkamp3405]

That's very true, I never thought of that but I would love to hear your stories

[@ianleigh4761]

@@susanb4816 age is not a reason to stop looking. I hope you find your roots . It’s very satisfying and healing.

[@kerrieleemaxwell6846]

Kia ora Ian, welcome home Rangiwewehi is my hapu, and Awahou my marae..Arohanui❤️

[@ianleigh4761]

@@kerrieleemaxwell6846 It would be lovely to meet you

[@Thrasha79]

What an awesome story now you can feel free and know where you come from you have a sense of belonging ka pai ian

[@alexgilbert]

Tēnā koe! Thank you so much for watching. I really appreciate it!

[@chrystalcook3239]

Well thank you for sharing this beautiful story, I really love and appreciate that the journey to finding out who this family have descended from is so tough but so rewarding, All parts of the journey are necessary and blessed, What a lovely family!

[@alexgilbert]

Thank you so much for watching. I really appreciate it! :)

[@PriscillaPoese-w5l]

❤loved this for you Ian your whānau and your tīpuna💚 Identity always plays a huge role in our culture and I am soo happy that you found your whānau and whakapapa!!! Welcome home❤

[@alexgilbert]

So important! :) Thank you so much for watching!

[@PriscillaPoese-w5l]

@@alexgilbert and thank you for sharing covering Ian's story!!

[@ianleigh4761]

@@PriscillaPoese-w5l Thank you so much

[@motheryuba57]

When I was very young I got pregnant and tthought about adoption for my baby. But I couldn't go through with it and chose to have an abortion instead. Now watching this brings up alot of emotion. Ian's adoptive parents gave him a good life though wonder why they couldn't tell him the truth when he was young. He found a wonderful wife and his daughter seems like a very loving, extraordinary woman too. Ian was able to create a loving family, find his roots and enrich his life by exploring his origens. A heartwarming story. Thank you for sharing.

[@ianleigh4761]

In the 1940’’s it was thought that if a child never knew that everything would be best. They didn’t understand the negative psychological effect. Leigh

[@ericasmith3490]

What a lovely man ❤ I’m glad he got the peace and belonging he deserved

[@Raumatijd]

Ka rāwe! What an incredible story Alex. An absolutely humbling and genuine family. Enjoyed every minute of this ❤

[@karynconner7478]

A beautiful story. Thank you to you and Ian’s family ❤

[@alexgilbert]

Thank you for watching. Really appreciate it :)

[@lynleytuahine7067]

I have heard many adoption stories and this has to be one of the best. Thanks for sharing

[@angelika9729]

Love this Story and the People who live their life in this story. It touches me deeple, because I am searching my whole life and don't know why. Like I might have had a twin or important roots. I found out a lot and two long missed cousins that I met this and last year with lots of tears of joy. And I found biblical roots, too, which I will discover step by step. Thank you for sharing! And greetings from Munich, Germany. 🥨

[@ianleigh4761]

@@angelika9729 best wishes for the success of your search. Every new person you meet could be the key to putting it all together.

[@Raumatijd]

I’m so wrapped for you Ian ❤ Leigh seems so lovely ❤ Yolande I love your passion for your roots ❤

[@artyfarty87]

Alex my Friend, you & your team are truly making a difference in peoples lives. AMAZING! xoxo

[@friendlhi]

how beautiful to discover such an interesting story - makes up for the cold welcome from his mother, but maybe she had bad experience with being part native in old times ❤👍

[@mystik.mermayde.aotearoa]

Yes i think that's part of the reason too.

[@marycook1644]

Maybe she had a traumatic childhood. Because it seems strange that she would give children up and she was married !

[@ianleigh4761]

@@marycook1644 she certainly is have a difficult upbringing herself with an unloving mother. So no positive example to learn from

[@marycook1644]

@@ianleigh4761 You are so kind hearted ! We don’t always understand what people have experienced. I am so happy for your life so far ! And many great things l believe will happen to you and your new found relationships and the wonderful tribal connections !! Blessings to you and everyone from California ! 🦜

[@shirleyrice7093]

Ian and his birth mother look alike. He is so lucky he was adopted by loving parents and well brought up.

[@slapshot6163]

My grandfather immigrated to New Zealand from Lebanon as a child. He then immigrated to the US as an adult . When I was young he told us stories of how he embraced the Māori people or should I say the embraced him. He adopted some of their traditions and shared them with us. He was very proud to “be” Māori.

[@hamishmorleydoddandthethin2051]

Amazing story Alex. Well done. Can’t wait to see what else you have install for everybody.

[@alexgilbert]

Thank you Hamish! Thank you for watching and most importantly for helping with this story. Let's bring on nothing but more great stories to share!

[@aquaryhunp82]

I was adopted in 1977. My earliest memory was also sitting in a high chair being fed lamb brains. My adopter was a butcher though. Glad this gentleman has found some peace. Adoption should be outlawed.

[@glendarowland51]

Im so sorry. You must have had a very unhappy childhood to say that. If adoption was outlawed there would have been a lot of unhappy children being kept in families who didn’t want them. And yes, some adopted children were unlucky enough to have been placed with dysfunctional couples.

[@emilywiebel3238]

Ian is a lovely man and he has the most wonderful wife and family of his own. I’m so glad he got to find the answers about where he’s from and his ancestry. However his bio mom really rubbed me the wrong way. I don’t expect all both parents to just instantly want a relationship and be excited, but she just seems like she’s not a very friendly person. It sounds like Ian was very lucky to have two parents who loved him and cared for him and not once made him think anything was different. Yes, I am a firm believer in telling your adopted child(ren) early on about their adoption so it’s not something that is hidden and they don’t feel betrayed later in life when finding out. But other than that, his adoptive parents seemed like great people as well. I hope Ian continues to live a beautiful life with his beautiful wife and kids.

[@KarAnne-v9n]

Adoption stigma has changed from when he was born. Practice was so different back then. I agree I wish his adopted parents would have been more open. Sounds like he was better off with his adopted parents versus a mum who didn’t want him. At least she didn’t abort him and gave him a chance at a great life

[@esmeraldagreen1992]

Orphans and adopted children were often socially ostracized in the British world because they were equated with illegitimate children, so his real parents made the decision not to tell him or anybody else so he would be treated nicely by his peers. They also didn't want him to feel different than other children

[@wap9137]

Could have been rape or incest.

[@ianleigh4761]

@@KarAnne-v9n absolutely

[@ianleigh4761]

@@emilywiebel3238 thank you very much

[@bonniewills2814]

Ian doesn't show his heritage, but his daughter definitely does! This information explains why she is a little darker than her parents. My husband had distant Cherokee heritage which didn't show on him until summertime, when he had been working outdoors. His skin tone was identical to our Absentee Shawnee neighbors.

[@alexgilbert]

Thank you for watching Ian's story. It's been incredible to see the feedback! :)

[@shaneekabatty-cross]

Distant?? So, like 2%. As someone who's supposed to be 6% I'm 40% Mexican indigenous and 23% Native American, therefore it doesn't show

[@missymason2377]

Amazing. Beautiful. Soul searching.. ❤

[@lyndacran1219]

I just found my half siblings at age 80.

[@mystik.mermayde.aotearoa]

Wow!! Amazing!!!!❤❤❤❤

[@zenguidancetarot]

That's fantastic! Happy for you!

[@lucialieskovska6182]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@bluegrasshack3810]

10/1/24: Much the same, Lyndacran, where my birth father was concerned. Congratulations to us! I was a family secret for a lot of years!

[@ianleigh4761]

@@lyndacran1219 wow so beautiful for you

[@MyFamilyGathering]

Wow. Amazing. Thankyou .❤ Yolande did a lot of research work and made a very important point. Where we belong. Where are our roots . Excellent story with a very important message. 👏🙏❤Thankyou for everyone's contribution to make this possible for Ian.🤜👊🤛

[@kareninkster1831]

I can’t work out if the birth mum gave up all her children or just Ian? Ian is a wonderful, lovely man with a lovely family. His birth mum seems very hurtful and callous, which I feel is unnecessary. I’m glad Ian has found out all this wonderful info. I wish him and his family the very best ❤

[@ianleigh4761]

@@kareninkster1831 yes she gave up both her kids and suffered through her life because of it. She was a mess when we met her having buried the guilt for 50years

[@kittygriffinlagorio7901]

@@ianleigh4761 As someone who was adopted (Germany to US) and as someone who found my adoption papers (age 16) I can tell you the shock is an earthquake. As a young child when I was in the car I would close my eyes and pretend I was being kidnapped and I had to memorize the route. Suddenly reality came into focus. Sadly I wouldn't understand reactive attachment disorder until much later in life and it took a good therapist to help me understand why I never bonded to my adoptive family. Trying to understand adoption later in life when I worked as a journalist I did a feature piece about Mother's Day and those mothers who gave up their child for adoption. Every one of the 10 I interviewed suffered terribly. Each story was unique and each one full of sorrow. I was so fortunate to have found my 1/2 sister. She helped me understand what had happened to me. Ian's story touched me deeply. There is such a sense of holes being filled in when one can finally put the pieces together.

[@acrossanydistance]

How beautiful 😍 what a great path Yolande decided to take, I love family tree research and finding your ancestral tree. And sometimes not being brought up by a mother that didnt want you is better, your adoptive mother and father gave you a home and what you needed, that's important too. My mother didn't have time for me, always felt more connected to my aunt than mother, always believed my aunt was my real mother she passed when I was 9. Life is what we make it. I have 3 kids who are the world to me and wouldn't change anything 😊

[@Adamfobeth]

Beautifully documented and shot.

[@alexgilbert]

Thank you so much. I really appreciate that. I did the filming myself with a bit of help for the 'Family Tree' piece near the end of the story which helped me a lot. It was great to put this together :)

[@mystik.mermayde.aotearoa]

I agree, Alex did a really amazing job with this 💝

[@teri7371]

Blood doesn’t matter, who loves you is what matters

[@glendarowland51]

Absolutely. My story above. Family is so much more than blood ties.

[@kaizma88]

His bio parents were married and their children didn't fit in with their plans? That is very odd. His wife Leigh is a Godsend...

[@mystik.mermayde.aotearoa]

Yep very unusual indeed 😭

[@blairariavanderkamp3405]

It's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard 🙄 😒

[@marycook1644]

I wonder what happened to her in the past. We really don’t know. It does seem strange. But at least he discovered his wonderful tribal heritage and relatives ! 🌺

[@PatriciaValentini-r9w]

His birth mother seems like a very cold person

[@ianleigh4761]

@@kaizma88 mother was working in wellington and father was at sea so hard to bring up a baby in rented accommodation alone.

[@victorartb]

I’m 33 years old, and while I haven’t been able to have kids through conventional means, as I’m still single, I’ve been seriously considering adoption. I feel I have a lot to offer-love, financial stability, a home, and my surname. But at the same time, I have concerns. I wonder if I’ll ever get married, and I worry about the impact it might have on a child being raised by a single father. I’m also unsure if I’ll be able to handle the emotional baggage or issues the child might face. I’ve thought about having a therapist or psychologist lined up to help support my future child in dealing with any trauma. Anyway, I wanted to share this in the hope of getting some honest advice or insight from people who can speak from experience-without sugarcoating things.

[@kitty_s23456]

Hi. I'm not an adoptee but know people who adopted a kid. One is a single dad (unmarried, not gay). He has an adopted son. He's able to give a good life to his son, who otherwise would've grown up in poverty. I think if you want to adopt, then do so, for the right reasons. There are many children waiting to be loved. Also, if you're single then maybe have a family member or close friend who's female and can serve as a somewhat mother figure. If the child is of a different ethnicity/ culture than yours, then try to expose him/ her to that culture as well. I'm thinking of "Modern Family" wherein the 2 gay men adopted an Asian baby girl. As the girl grew up, the fathers sometimes asked Gloria for help re: female stuff. They also tried yo expose her to her Vietnamese culture but that episode didn't end well. Lol. I know that it's a comedy but the premise (learning abt culture, mother figure etc) was good. I wish you all the best!

[@victorartb]

@@kitty_s23456 that makes sense ! I just want to make sure that I can truly be a blessing to the child and be able to provide all the needs that the kid need as a healthy human being since those kids face a lot of trauma and struggles! I will prepare myself ! I will try to read some good resources out there so I can have an ideas what to expect, how to behave and how to provide but I guess the most important is to love ! Thanks for taking your time to answer me 😁

[@ianleigh4761]

@@victorartb you have insightfully considered the issues which arise for adoptees and their adoptive parents. Doing this by yourself would be very hard. The thing I would commend you for is the understanding that counselling is essential for birth parents, adoptive parents and eventually the adoptee . Rejection and guilt are huge huge issues.

[@lil-mumma-adventures]

What a gorgeous story! As hard as parts of it would have been ❤ we currently live in the small town of Te Puke ❤ what a huge journey for you

[@alexgilbert]

What a small world. Thank you for watching! :)

[@candicepagliari3346]

Lovely and very happy they could trace their whakapapa

[@sandicoppins]

Very touching and fascinating, thank you so much sharing 😊

[@jeanhawken4482]

Great history. Devoted parents

[@alexgilbert]

Thank you for watching! It was so great to follow Ian on his journey!

[@dedramcdade9603]

Great story. Thank you for sharing it with us.

[@marylott9294]

Great Story!! Well done Alex!

[@alexgilbert]

Thank you so much for watching! Much appreciated! :)

[@KinderKim-b3x]

This is wonderful. Such connection! Thank you

[@myrigarou]

Thank you for this great story. 😊

[@AngelisASwede]

Wow ! Such a great story ! Thank you for sharing! Hello from Wichita Falls, TX

[@Danilyn_Livao]

Thank you for sharing such a personal and heartfelt experience! Truly captivating!💓

[@PeggyWereta]

Wonderful news whakapapa is everything ❤️

[@marionclark]

A lovely story! Delightful people!

[@aleksandrakazijas4217]

Great job Alex! Congratulations!

[@mimialvarez6010]

absolutely beautiful story. thank you❤

[@joyb5525]

I'm not adopted and have no sense of belonging. The world now is one of fragmentation and disconnection. Lucky man. From Ireland 🇮🇪

[@mickieswendsen1302]

You DO belong!!! It will all work out, for you!

[@ianleigh4761]

@@joyb5525 Never give up. The truth will be found. All the best in your search

[@Hab9127]

Meaning you were put up for adoption and was not adopted OR you overall do not feel as tho you belong in general. ( even tho you are w/your fam of origin) Pls clarify. Ty.

[@ramonam9251]

I hope you are able to create your own family❤

[@agresticumbra]

I hear ya; I wasn't adopted but spent my childhood wishing I had been because I was treated so poorly by my father, and my mum was trauma bonded to him. I didn't feel like I belonged, and would have loved to have found that elsewhere.

[@CATAGUILAR]

Interesting how genetics works . The father doesn’t look Māori , but the daughter does ❤️

[@margaretheschmidt7062]

What a lovely story!!!! And, I am so happy for your family to have found your roots🎉

[@valeriewaddelove7750]

What about the other side of the family. Who's Maori, the mother or the father?

[@Huia1975]

Great story. Thank you to the family for sharing. 🖤

[@sammyjo8109]

I have always wondered why people who decided to investigate their family history are mostly only interested in their father's side. Many never even look at their mother's side past their grandparents. My nephew is an example. He was so proud he did his heritage on his father's side but stopped, never doing anything on his mother's ( my sister) side. Only interested in those with their fraternal last name.

[@rangikaka4498]

Ka pai whanau..lovely to watch your dad be settled amongst his whanau...❤

[@nicelady51]

A wonderful man and I'm happy to know his story. ❤

[@glendarowland51]

Your story resonated with me. You were lucky to be adopted like me. I was adopted in 1951 at 6 weeks old. I didn’t find out until I was about 13. I just knew I was different, so one day I just asked my parents if I was adopted, and my mother eventually told me I was, but that I was special and chosen. My older brother was also adopted but he never knew, and died age 20. I never told him as requested by my adoptive parents. Then 4 years after I was adopted my mother unexpectedly had their own child. After a DNA test at age 70 my birth half brother came up as a close match. From there I made contact with an older birth half sister. They told me the circumstances of my adoption. I found out from my half siblings that my birth mother had 4 babies to 4 different men. She didn’t keep the girls. The eldest one was brought up by her maternal grandmother. I thank my birth mother every day for giving me up. My life would have been very different had she not. She died age 44.

[@BlueBird8925]

What a wonderful story. I’m very happy for Ian. My mother was adopted and it took her almost 20 years to find her biological parents but sadly both had passed away. She did contact her half sister who provided her with some information and photos but she could not handle meeting my mother. I know that my mother was very pained by not being able to meet any family. I recently contacted my biological cousin and his mother never told he and his sister about my mother being his mother’s half sister. Sadly, my mother passed away in 1997, long before I was able to obtain a fair bit of info about her parents and other half siblings through the internet. Very happy for Ian and his family!

[@stretchedandy]

My dad has a similar story with adoption. He was about 55 when he found out.

[@alexgilbert]

That sure is a later time to find out that information. I hope he was able to pick up pieces of his family after that. Thank you so much for watching Ian's story!

[@ianleigh4761]

@@stretchedandy has he had any success in his search?

[@LaEurovisionQueen]

Ian's story is fascinating. Your videos are always excellent. I much prefer to watch one of these adoption stories than to sit down and watch the telly.

[@lpri]

Kia Kaha! Ian

[@juliej5917]

Whilst Yolande and her father were sitting with a member of their iwi (tribe) at possibly the Marae (ancestral meeting grounds), did anyone else find Yolonde seemed to have similar looks and features of that gentleman (iwi)? Fascinating story. Thanks for sharing!! 🎉

[@alexgilbert]

Thank you for watching! It was an incredible story to put together!

[@ianleigh4761]

@@juliej5917 That was filmed at Tarimano the marae at Awahou home of Ngati Rangiwewehi

[@SusanMeagher-l7y]

❤❤❤ beautiful couple. Amazing couple!!!

[@jdrei5080]

I also whakapapa to Te Arawa like many so your story was interesting to me. From this our whanau holds land on Mokoia Island. Pleased for your Dad 😊

[@annkelly7103]

Did he ever connect with his full brother that was adopted out also.

[@ianleigh4761]

@@annkelly7103 Yes they are in regular contact and get on well. His brother lives in Australia now so it’s restricted to phone calls usually .

[@meatavoreNana]

My son has always known he's adopted.He knows his paternal grand parents 😊❤

[@alexgilbert]

Thank you for sharing that! :) And thank you so much for watching!

[@ianleigh4761]

That’s so important. Well done. Your son will be forever grateful for your understanding.

[@melindadurchholz3738]

He shares the same large ears with his Maori relative. My beloved grandfather had large ears that continued to lengthen with each decade. He was a great listener and had a tender heart just like this man.

[@ianleigh4761]

@@melindadurchholz3738 The ears also came from his birth fathers family

[@nataliek.8352]

Great story, thank you!❤