Alfred - The Turd Throwing Hero Gorilla of Bristol (Writer's Twitter)

Kids loved him. Adults loved him. Men and women of all ages would flock to see him. Who is he? He's the sweater wearing, bus hating, turd throwing hero of Bristol, Alfred the Gorilla
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Starring Karl Smallwood
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Filmed and Edited by Brad Rawlinson
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Original Article:
www.factfiend.c...
Sources:
en.wikipedia.o...
museums.bristol...
news.bbc.co.uk/...
www.theguardia...
Videos:
War for the Planet of the Apes (2017)
www.imdb.com/t...
Mighty Joe Young (1998)
www.imdb.com/t...
The Flash (TV Series 2014- )
www.imdb.com/t...
George of the Jungle (1997)
www.imdb.com/t...
Family Guy (TV Series 1998- )
www.imdb.com/t...
Images:
Harambe, cincinnatizoo.o...
Bus, By The original uploader was Hamish2k at English Wikipedia [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
Bendy-Bus, By Adrian Pingstone [Public domain], from Wikimedia Commons
Gorilla Grod, www.dccomics.com/
Screenshot of Winston, from Overwatch (2016)
www.imdb.com/t...
Music:
"Two Finger Johnny" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
creativecommons...

[@gamemasternintendoo]

I find it funny that the guy making fun of beard culture is the guy with a face as smooth as a baby boys nuts. Can we say jealous much?

[@TheLuke3399]

Damn, pinned 2 years after the video was posted

[@Snp2024]

@Ron Burgundy Nisha?

[@OutHereCorbin]

Found one lmao

[@gamemasternintendoo]

Hey I’ve got a beard and mustache so I have nothing to be jealous about

[@goatcat2737]

I love how these kinds of comments are always pinned so you can feel how few, if any, shits Karl gives

[@MiliMesiMusic]

One of the best things I have ever read is a piece of grafiti that said: "We are closer to 2060 than we are to 1960".

[@カラスKarasu]

Mindblown

[@ocbee6175]

You're Gonna Hate This because 2060 seems extremely futuristic and 1960 doesn’t.

[@thegeekaccountyoushouldign5679]

My favorite hyper-intelligent ape is Discworld's librarian. He got turned into an ape, and just didn't want to be turned back.

[@BobBob-bi3fp]

@Nef Anyo its too late

[@BobBob-bi3fp]

@Nef Anyo i tried too bribe him with bannanas but my fate was sealed at y

[@adrianaslund8605]

He's also an Orangutan. Orangutans are kinda adorable. They're so chilled out.

[@phaethos]

’Am I alone in thinking, by the way, that it doesn’t add to the status of the University to have an ape on the faculty?’ ‘Yes,’ said Ridcully flatly. ‘You are. We’ve got the only librarian who can rip off your arm with his leg. People respect that’

[@josemiguelgonzalezwachter2269]

Oook! ^^

[@savannahmcclelland9401]

Writers Twitter: 99% either pretentious or neurotic. The other 1% is Neil Gaiman.

[@IAOIceland1984]

@Doctor Tophat nah mate just pretentious

[@silverdarlin]

Bonus Facts: After his death, Alfred was stuffed and put on display in Bristol museum, and, in 1956 he was stolen by a group of university students

[@allenallen9879]

Wow.

[@lordonez3794]

Fuck that’s horrible

[@horseheadlegman414]

For anyone who's wondering they got him back during that week end and his body is still on display at Bristol zoo today

[@IszyBelle]

What happened next?

[@sovashchetty4838]

So you're telling me reposting memes on reddit doesn't mean I'm an genius artist? My mum is going to be really disappointed when I tell her.

[@tomdenny9505]

so glad this channel was in my recommended your so funny just been binge watching your videos past three days

[@austinz268]

twhomas En

[@a8552bc]

Dab Killer ?

[@jacksongreen1319]

I have started to do this too.... Wish me luck

[@ravensentinel]

So it's not just me. 3/4 of the way through the movies playlist lol

[@adamdaley8090]

Same.

[@ahappyaccident7879]

"sensual gorilla aura" is something i never thought i would hear, but now that i have, i cant believe i ever lived without it

[@jamalafon-white470]

I think Alfred is stuffed in the bristol museum, scares the shit out of me everytime when I go round the corner

[@nathanwilliams8799]

There was also the escapade he had when some students stole Alfred from the museum in 1956

[@mbufton]

Even in death, he is amazing

[@Jack93885]

Alfred (and indeed all those stuffed animals) gave me reccuring nightmares for years

[@seanfegan8161]

There's a stuffed gorilla in Wollaston Hall, Nottingham too. And a stuffed giraffe!

[@kittenclaws5775]

I write humor and "Penisaurus Rex" is the funniest shit I've heard all week xD

[@forestine_]

The orangutan Librarian from Discworld.

[@diegobrando3409]

He was able to return to monke and didn't want to go back to human.

[@lightspeed_777]

Yayyyyyyyyyyy a Comic book reference "I will make America Grodd again" -Legends of Tomorrow "Not God, Grodd" -The Flash

[@WhiteNoBeard471]

No that's a shit tv show reference

[@barutjeh]

More wise than hyper intelligent: the librarian from Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels.

[@MiraLove]

But he's an orangutan...?

[@sirsupesafro7637]

@@MiraLove the original inquiry was "favorite hyperintelligent _ape_ " Orangutans are in the ape family

[@sentientthundertank2079]

"how often do you get to talk to someone who can drive a bendy bus" every day if he's your dad...lol

[@allenallen9879]

Wow.

[@krombopulosrick7920]

How can u just eat plumbs while a gorilla stares I'd give him one cause friendship. You know those memes of pikachu and baby Yoda with the Welsh fruit snacks.

[@TheEudaemonicPlague]

Are you saying you enjoy eating plumbs? Is that you, Bob?

[@Chivigami]

Just found you guys out!! You are amazing!! And because english is not my first language I need subtitles, or just a higher volume!

[@fgialcgorge7392]

My favorite ape story happened to me and my group on a class field trip to the Zoo in 8th grade. I had hot tamales candy I was sharing around and the Gibbons we were watching started going crazy. One came up and stuck his hand out and I tossed him one thinking he would taste it and spit it out. No, he wanted another. So me and my group start tossing them to the Gibbon, like a quarter box, and a zookeeper comes over and angrily says "are you feeding the apes!?" We said no! And the little fucker opens his hand and shows her all the candy, drops it, and starts shaking his cage and hooting. What an absolute dick. We all got banned for life from the zoo for that. Also on that trip, my teacher had an eagle shit on his head and a large kid in my class tripped over a roaming peacock and it had to be put down.

[@CodeeXD]

Lmao Karl trying to deny he doesn't come from a long line of proud bus drivers while also outing them for being a family of proud bus drivers

[@msteerie]

ok so I wanna be an author and the only question I need to ask is "How do I make the reader depressed in the best way?"

[@jacobpaduch4827]

remind them if inescapable depressing truths like how one day no one will even care they existed meaning they can live a life without pressure .. can't use my idea tho

[@adrianposkonka8331]

Dedicating the beginning of the story to flesh out that the main character cares for a bunch of puppies and describe them in great detail, then having a puppy genocide halfway through the book?

[@charliejones3119]

Make it about an ordinary guy who goes to work everyday and lives a shit life and then ends up killing him self

[@GoodCitizenoftheNorth]

"Gunther" from futurama

[@unclesamthejew8740]

I didnt hear of that gunther. One od the more popular gunthers is bartender from "friends" show but my favourite is the singer. Definitely check him out

[@NotAGraveRobber]

Sorry to be this person, but technically we didn't evolve from apes. Both apes and humans evolved from a recent common ansestore. There was one, that one split into two groups for reasons, and eventually they became distinct enough to be different species 😀.

[@ThePrehistoricLord]

@@azuregriffin1116 Yes

[@unoriginalhazard]

Correct.

[@davidjones272]

Humans are apes. There is no single species called "apes", there are multiple species: chimpanzees, bonobos, gorilla's, orangutans etc all are apes. Humans are simply one of these species.

[@Enkrod]

The common ancestor itself was an ape which is exactly why humans still are apes.

[@bobbyavitia]

2:25 Actually we evolved from a common primate ancestor of gorillas and humans. Gorillas just went down a different evolutionary branch.

[@diegobrando3409]

And they never changed since they are just fine where they are. Which is why they are endangered. They are just too suited to the African jungles that once they disappear they simply cannot evolve to new situations.

[@robindominguez854]

in my head i'm now singing "he's a proud mallwood and he's allright, eats beans all day and drives bus all night" to the tune of the monty python lumberjack song...

[@oswaldpenny]

Once in middle school two people had an argument through writing on a bathroom stall, and everyone would want to use that one stall to see what the update was. There were some fire insults on it, It became the talk of the school, and it was just two kids hurling destruction at each other on a bathroom stall

[@chickenbouilloncube7038]

Do "I hate Mars bars"

[@turnercash2037]

Chicken BouillonCube Quality IHE meme, my friend.

[@turnercash2037]

Zooboo

[@Whalester]

Wrong channel

[@ez4ed885]

Chicken BouillonCube Daddy Derrick loves you

[@jonathanmcculley3728]

In England, do busses have their own lane? That’s how it is in Taiwan. The rightmost lane is exclusive for busses to expedite traffic

[@theldun1]

Coolest monkey I remember as a kid was at a place called snake world in Louisiana. It had a bucket full of quarters. He would throw them at you so you would buy him peanuts out of the vending machine next to his cage. I made 5$ off him one day but I did buy him several packets of peanuts also lol

[@diegobrando3409]

Why the fuck do they have a monkey at place called snake world?

[@Jetiix]

You have to appreciate the irony of Karl saying “We evolved from apes so maybe he’s not that smart”

[@hexprincess9582]

Monsieur Mallah is my favorite, he's in a gay relationship with a brain in a jar.

[@CoraBorealis]

Discovered your channel a couple of days ago and can't stop watching your videos!

[@moxxie9707]

Jessica James let me know if within 48 hours or so Karl's tendency to repeat his main points three or four times throughout the videos starts to get to you. Personally, I like the casual presentation but the need to include so many takes of Karl reiterating the EXACT SAME POINT, phrased in EXACTLY THE SAME WAY is a tad frustrating. It just seems to add to this feeling that no more research was done beyond all his own articles from Cracked being recycled. That may be completely untrue but dang. He talks over Brad constantly just to make the same statement for the second or third time. I honestly feel bad for the guy

[@hanniffydinn6019]

Jessica James don't understand why pewdiepie is so big, there's more entertainment in one video here than the entire vids on pewdiepie..

[@565656gooner]

@@moxxie9707 so why are you watching this channel?

[@moxxie9707]

@@565656gooner while I do have things I'm critical of I do like his personality and subjects.

[@565656gooner]

@@moxxie9707 fair enough. Entitled to your opinion.

[@jasminewood395]

Holy shit fellas! It's started taking off! I kind of quit watching the sub count about a month ago... I thunk you had just hit 7k, that was a tough climb but we all knew that you just needed to stick with it. Please try to maintain your format, its great as is and its finally paying of! Hope you finally start making more than a few dollars a week! Sadly for me, its kind of like that great inside joke that you laugh at all alone and tell others "you wouldn't get it" Now everyone's gun a get it, but that's ok. Congratz!

[@jasminewood395]

Also just noticed 1.5k views in the first hour, that's gotta feel great! I remember putting your playlist on repeat to bump it up... Seeing videos thus good with less than 1k views after weeks was just insulting ... This is 1 of 2 channels I watch that the changes to YT have been good for and well deserved... Shame they're ruining the platform over all but at least someone is benefiting

[@luketfer]

To be fair they just started being in my recommended list a few days ago and so I did as I often do with new channels that are recommended, I give them a one episode chance to impress me. Needless to say they did, firstly being pleasantly surprised to see fellow Brits at the helm and entertained by the way they delivered information since they really just sound like me and my mates chatting about stupid facts down the pub.

[@jasminewood395]

Lol they picked up 3k new subs in 18 hours 37k up to 40k, fucking awesome

[@shrimpbisque]

My favorite bit from that Krabby Patty contest episode has to be when Neptune tries Spongebob's Krabby Patty and says, "Why, it tastes so good, I think I'd like to try it a second time!" and then spits out the patty and eats it again.

[@pyxelm]

Haha :) I'm from bristol and ive actually SEEN alfred's taxidermied body. FOR REAL!

[@lizamaj]

so apparently, about a month ago, this channel had only 10k subscribers. In about a month, they grew by 62k subscribers. Well done guys. I love the content. You two are funny, I love the tangents, and are generally entertaining. Keep it up.

[@passthebutterrobot2600]

The people on Writer's Twitter are like Brian from Family Guy

[@truedermut3617]

Plot twist: Maybe they all vampire?

[@Bubbaen]

Alfred when he can't exit his enclosure for walks: I have a question for God...... WHY

[@HoundofOdin]

The Vikings had a word for people without beards. They called them "women".

[@casono]

Idk man might be looking in the wrong place.

[@meatmangler8215]

The Vikings also died off and worked for knights

[@yaboicolleen]

goddammit 2013 me feels personally fucking attacked by you calling out writing twitter. i used to LIVE on amwriting

[@bernadet4000]

My fave gorilla is Bokito, the absolute lad escaped to attack a woman who thought he was in love with him. She spent months smiling at him (bearing her teeth), making eye contact, and just being all round annoying. So one day, my main man Bokito stood up, banged his chest and jumped out of his cage to drag her around a bit (she didn't die, dw)

[@casualotterthe2nd848]

I read “turd throwing hero gorilla” and was like hmm interesting then “of Bristol” and instantly pressed

[@drwhowhatwhenwhy1165]

I think word count is important to authors as it's the opposite or writer's block. If you're writing, no matter how terrible it is, at least you're practicing and getting stuff done, and at least you've got something *to* write.

[@stuartireland260]

Once, in Brighton, many years ago, I came across some graffiti scrawled onto a car park wall that read; "Yeah but no but whatever because you guys are a bunch of wooden toenails"

[@mariadeal1244]

As someone who is a writer and posts on writer's twitter... This is so true about the hashtags. Though the advice questions he read off are for a different kind of writer, or for pre-writing. But yeah, there are so many amwriting tweets quoting other people, it's just like... Are you serious? Also the writer's block tweets (which I've been guilty of before back before I decided to try to figure out why I was blocked).

[@poeticserenade]

When you say "buses" I have no idea what word is actually coming out of your mouth. Yujusses?

[@gracelizzie248]

He says it normally?

[@superbacc5521]

dang you guys are growing fast nice job. I remember when i subbed to you when you had 18k. Feels like it was only last week oh wait

[@Shythalia]

Finally! George Of The Jungle gets some recognition nowadays.

[@whatsupinspace854]

We didn't evolve from apes, we ARE apes... Just like gorillas. We didn't evolve from gorilla's - we're close cousins.

[@wolfilippe]

Throwing a lot of shade for a guy who can't grow a beard xD

[@fRIITable]

My Grandad always told me the story of him making faces through the bars at a Gorilla at Bristol zoo and getting a facefull of shit. I assume it was Alfred

[@beatles9880]

i still go to see alfred, never saw him alive but the love for him has passed down though the genorations of bristol people.

[@thatbritishgamer2209]

I watched this channel for months and this is the first time I hear my city Bristol get mention. Is it for something impressive or something historic? Na, it’s for a shit throwing monkey. This is why I love this channel

[@geebsterswats]

40k, fuck me. I've been rooting from the start for you 2; struggling for a year to get 10k subs, then hit 40k so quickly. Fuck it, in starting a KZbin channel with the sole goal of getting 10k sub's! Go on!

[@TheMassie135]

Karl’s always had that mad love for Harambe. Lol Sorry for the time hopping.. 😂

[@deadwingjockey7642]

You should do a Fireside Chat style series where you read tweets from Writer's Twitter hashtags.

[@cameronsmith3047]

Well it is really important to constantly ask what your characters intentions are when you write.

[@moonscript4675]

This is a hidden gem of a channel.

[@WS-gw5ms]

You back up an articulating bus, just like you back up a trailer. Its exactly the same.

[@amelialonelyfart8848]

The bit near the end reminded me of a line from Steven Universe song. "I thought love was all I needed, but I guess that was naive, I also need to eat".

[@cosmoniums5990]

Sometimes you gotta push yourself out of your comfort zone and get the book done. Cosmoniums aka myself

[@RobbieManic]

My uncle was a bus-driver at one point in his life. He lived in a little neighborhood a short jog away from the main road where one of his routes would be, and one day he forgot his lunch while on his route, so he parked the bus on the main road and ran off to go grab his lunch 😂

[@briantheisen31]

We need two more words. How about “screw Flanders.”

[@galo1486]

well 50%of people can't grown beards.

[@oud25]

Guy who couldn't grow a decent beard bashing guys with beards.

[@bkr_418]

Check the band ‘The Beards’, oh yes, ‘tis glorious 😎

[@Stimm002]

We didn't evolve from apes, apes and us have a common ancestor. Gd video tho.

[@HusbandofLois]

There was a gorilla called Guy in London Zoo in the 1950s and 60s who has a choreography credit for 2001: A Space Odyssey

[@sizier]

Sharing is caring. Apparently Alfred knew that.

[@fakename2212]

Gorillas are awesome, probably my favorite ape.

[@mikefoxoftnp8175]

You know I never thought I be watching videos like this.but at least these guys are funny with what they do

[@absolute_nobody]

For harambe

[@acolyteoffire4077]

maintaining a beard is some serious work.

[@brucethomas1720]

Karl is jealous of men with beards... good to know

[@pshdarren]

I also used to have a fear of men with facial hair, maybe I’m secretly Alfred

[@D1GItAL_CVTS]

16:15 "not life-suzed" speak for yourself mate

[@abigailwildlife1322]

your evolutionary knowledge was floored but great vid

[@vortex3013]

"Exercise the writing muscle everyday" -Dickasso

[@unclesamthejew8740]

Last night I binge watched dozen of your videos. Tried to pick up where I left before but this beard roast just keeps on going. Gee man, why all the hate. Not cool at all

[@sadistksuffring1537]

Backing a bendy bus would pretty pretty damn similar to reversing anything with a trailer which isn't so hard. You have to turn the opposite of what way you want the back to go. It takes a bit to get used to

[@TheEudaemonicPlague]

What seems easy to you and me, is virtually impossible for most people. Sad, but true.

[@sadistksuffring1537]

@@TheEudaemonicPlague As with anything, just takes practice. In my case; extra nerve racking when i had to haul approximately $500,000 worth of equipment.

[@alighterwood]

How have I never known that bendy buses exist?

[@magiceightball1442]

12:30 I didn't know Team Rocket had a book club

[@Biotear]

As cool as hyper-intelligent apes usually are, I prefer Koromaru from Persona 3. A stray dog that knife fights what are basically demons and ends up joining a team of people doing the same beats out hyper-intelligent apes, as far as I'm concerned. Not to mention, Koromaru is smart enough to understand human speech. He can't reproduce it, but he can listen and comprehend just fine. Not to mention, Aigis ends up serving as his translator, so he ends up being able to hold a conversation, meaning Koromaru, given how he acts and communicates as well, probably has the intelligent of an average 10-year-old, if not an older human. EDIT: Just realized I was ranting almost the entire video. Here's a link to Koromaru's Megami Tensei wiki page if anyone wants my source, although obvious Persona 3 spoilers. So, yeah... megamitensei.wikia.com/wiki/Koromaru

[@ClarkyClark]

Yes! Writer's Twitter! It's the worst and the best. Also, check out #writing and #writetip. For super whiny tweets, #writerslife. Goldmine.

[@irisnroses1889]

This just reminds me of the orangutan that got pissed at my brother. He tossed the ape a Cheeto puff. Obviously he liked it hand out for a second puff only for my brother to eat it in front of him. It picked up a small rock and clocked him right between the eyes. I all most pissed myself I laughed so hard. Then we got kicked out for feeding the animals

[@wikidclownchris]

Those all sounded like Jaden Smith quotes

[@joibasta4397]

Love you Harambe. Never forget.

[@timscank2361]

carl with a k is hilarious, love you guys. keep it up

[@Gerwald_Lanzer]

congrats on the new branding guys!

[@rowtow13]

Oh man, Writer Twitter (and, by extension, Writer Tumblr) is the absolute worst.

[@cidcrisis]

Couple things: Growing a really awesome beard is not as easy as just not shaving for a couple weeks. I can't even grow a great beard, but I appreciate dudes who can and really take pride in it. Silly and meaningless? Yeah, maybe. But most things in life are. And aww, lol don't be so mean to the struggling writers. There was a lot of cringe there, but these are just people. They're posting quotes and other assorted shit they find inspiring. The self-important narcissistic writer exists, yeah. But dude, you write. Maybe not fiction or whatever, but still. Just seems like you're shitting on people in a pretty similar profession for laughs. Good job. Anyway, love the channel. Just my two cents on that ending bit. Cheers!

[@johnwilliams919]

I kept this in my watch later for 2 years. Glad to say it was worth it.

[@PurpleLeprecaun]

Imagine if he saw the airbus A380, a double decker plane named after a bus

[@bmsvg7356]

Bristol Zoo isn’t very good now, it died with Alfred.

[@That-Google-Guy]

(Wags finger) Tisk-tisk, Karl- humans and gorillas evolved from a common ancestor many years ago. We didn’t evolve from gorillas, it’s more like they grew on a separate branch on the family tree which split off from the common ancestor. It’s dumb and pedantic but get your evolution knowledge up!

[@acornstorm6046]

Hey, I also live in Sheffield, are you guys gonna do a fan meetup, if not I’m just gonna hang round the top of the amphitheater, till you show up then shout “KARL SMALLWOOD”. Anyway, Your videos are great

[@bobbypeyton5213]

this is the story of napoleon's...... dong this story starts during an autopsy followed his death. During the procedure, according to some accounts, Napoleon's little Napoleon, as well as other vital organs, including his heart and stomach, was removed by the doctor. This was either an accident or done on purpose, depending on whom you believe. Napoleon little member supposedly came into the hands of an Italian priest. hahah i cant say that with a straight face lol, From there, the trail of Napoleon's alleged member gets a bit cloudy. It went from the priest's family to a London bookseller -- the item was listed in a catalogas "a mummified tendon it was compared to a shoe lace r a dried eel Eventually, the item believed to be Napoleon's penis was bought in an auction in 1977 by John J. Lattimer, a leading American urologist. where it stayed under his bed until after his death when his daughter found it

[@ericpeterson8732]

Speaking of just quoting others, the writers of the famous Pete the Cat books made a book called "Pete the Cat's guide to love" and it was just pictures of Pete and his friends and quotations about love. My fellow librarians and I call this "Pete the Cat's guide to making money" instead.

[@matthewnesbitt6416]

Humans didn't evolve from gorillas. Humans and gorillas share a common ancestor, but neither can be considered "more evolved", as we're just offshoots in different directions. Gorilla Grodd: 1 Humanity: 0

[@92Roar]

I mean, Writers Twitter didn’t sound so bad to me. Like, just a whole bunch of young teens who’ve just discovered this little passion of theirs, or individuals who’ve failed to hit the mark with their writings thus far. I dunno, I just don’t feel like that’s hurting anyone, ya know? Like, they enjoy it and stuff

[@GrantMarshall_]

I hate to change the number of comments. (The number is 420 btw) but we didn’t evolve from apes. We are ape. We humans are classified as apes as well as chimps, gorillas, orangutans, and bonobos.