Aliens Flee In Terror After Humans Invite Them To "Have Dinner" | Best HFY Stories

[@StarboundHFY]

Leave a like for Chikondi's epic narration :)

[@edswl7681]

One of the best narrators here! AAA+++

[@derisathartfelt]

His voice range for characters is among the best. Love your stories. The narration of "Humans Do What" with Chikondi are so fun

[@xBruceLee88x]

Welcome back!

[@patrickdurham8393]

he and Larissa are my favorites

[@donnamlake6303]

Epic is barely adequate as a descriptor.

[@cuylerwilliamson3595]

I'm really glad you guys are back. I went looking the other day to get my hfy fix, and all I could find after digging was a Page Has Been Removed. You guys and girls do an amazing job bringing stories to life. Each Reader has their own strengths and their own little bit of something special to bring to the stories. Even when the stories are subpar in quality, you guys easily make up for it in your narration. I especially like stories where multiple people are reading as it blends the strongest aspects of each Reader into a single whole. I hope you all have a great week, and thank you for all the amazing stories.

[@jamesaaron1533]

I would love it if they did a 'super group' collaboration with all of the starbound crew, net narrator,and agro squirrel

[@toothrobber8076]

Nice to know your name, thanks

[@thesaltyspacecowboy8531]

I agree, Starbound does a great job with collaboration. I look forward to more

[@stevenbergom3415]

"To Serve Man" suddenly has a new meaning.

[@m.jasondoty9062]

"IT'S A COOKBOOK!!!"

[@kenlee5509]

Exactly!

[@Gundamortal]

😈🍽

[@009dracko]

Human: "A lot of us on this dirt ball we call home. Love to eat anything that swims, walks, and crawls. So I guess you just served yourselves up a silver platter."

[@m.jasondoty9062]

Fava beans and a nice Chianti?

[@009dracko]

@m.jasondoty9062 Dirty rice with red beans. With a nice big bole of either seafood Etouffee, Jambalaya, or Gumbo.

[@m.jasondoty9062]

@@009dracko I don't think those are sides... Lecter would not approve of accompaniments that dwarf the entrée.

[@009dracko]

@m.jasondoty9062 Very true, I'm Cajun, though. And nothing says delicious like jambalaya. This way, I have Sarah, Mark, and the twins for dinner.

[@MaddawgTL]

Chinese have a saying " anything that walks, swims, crawls or files with its back to heaven, is edible." Wonder what these aliens taste like? 😈

[@erikjrn4080]

Worst thing, as they're not protected by any law, if they looked edible, there's an actual chance that they'd end up on the menu of pop-up restaurants and supper clubs. On the average, humanity is too sensible, but we have a lot of very crazy outliers.

[@tufelhunden5795]

Fun story. I love how they talked themselves out of having a good lasagna dinner. Oh and sent the message to the wrong person. 😂

[@ANerd-SoWhat]

All those calculations, and they send it to a random HOA president or smthn

[@thesaltyspacecowboy8531]

There was a day "Hold My Beer" was a definite possibility coming out of my mouth. Its about 50% now 😂😂😂😂😂

[@ZenAki]

I could only imagine the horrified expressions they would have had if they found the cultures that eat insects recreationally. Candied Grasshoppers, chocolate ants, and those who eat grubs as well. I could imagine their info officer retching at the implication that they were truly on the menu.

[@LaculusA.Lassus-bj7iw]

I think there's a community in Mexico that fry up crickets and fruit in pans. Surprisingly, I heard it being described tasting like the Starburst candy. If you recognize that candy.

[@btgbullseye]

Scorpions in lollipops is a relatively common treat in the US southwest.

[@ElderonAnalas]

I think India also does terantulas fried with powdered soup mix, or something like that. Remember seeing it on some travel show looking at street food. But, it's mostly a blur, was still in grade school.

[@fire_ant_187x7]

😂 didn't see the end coming LOL😂 I like the story

[@leinadoArcher]

Now this is a good story and I would actually like a 2nd part where humanity finally contacts them

[@AwoudeX]

'knock knock' aliens: 'who's there?' us simple humans aliens: 'RUN! HIDE!'

[@kevinslater4126]

Most of the oldest human bones contain markings of butchering and cooking. Let that sink in.

[@m.jasondoty9062]

Not shocking. Humans have been at each other's throats since the start and meat's meat.

[@scottphillips2870]

Mostly in Neanderthal remains. Not sure if it was common elsewhere.

[@btgbullseye]

I absolutely will not, I have enough sinks thankyouverymuch!

[@m.jasondoty9062]

@@kevinslater4126 Meat's meat. Humans have a LONG way to go, but we've come a long way since.

[@MarkATorres1989]

I'm curious how these aliens would've reacted had they seen an Uncle Roger video now. Especially his Fried Rice episodes.

[@chrisgoblin4857]

Hyyyyyaaaaaahhhhh hahahaha

[@brian-my7ym]

Just imagine if they saw a couple of videos from Bear Grylls, or Gordon Ramsay

[@Pathfinder0712]

👍 LOL

[@t8kabr8km85]

"Drink your own piss" - the man the grills bears or something.

[@bpgreg]

Thanks for starting with your name. With the expanding roster of narrators, names help us, your listeners.

[@michelelyons9410]

Absolutely marvelous! and hilarious! when you think of it, accepting global annihilation and the total extinction of our species as acceptable combat doctrine DOES sound absolutely crazy! I can well image any alien invaders looking at that and thinking twice about tackling Earth. And it had to be the universe's idea of a joke to let the alien's transmission go to the phone of an ordinary woman----and that woman saving the human race by her simple reply! and no one will ever know. I often thought that an alien crew would visit Earth, take a good look around, and then run away screaming! Wonderful story, I really loved it!

[@MagusHabilus]

That was class AAA voice acting and a great story!

[@thesaltyspacecowboy8531]

He forgot 1, "The Empire Gets their Butts Kicked" 😂

[@TS-bj8my]

Thanks for a GREAT story/narration! I really appreciate it!

[@tmote-O76]

The ending really takes it to the next level. Really good story.

[@chipremel8594]

This dude is by far my favourite narrator.

[@jamesaaron1533]

Dude, you and Larissa. Are my favorites

[@m.jasondoty9062]

Seconded. I prefer Larissa, but Chikondi is a VERY close second.

[@GlitterCrit]

Thank you for providing an intro, you are one of my favorite narrators on this channel! The new guys are growing on me but I think you have a great range and I'm not gonna lie, I skip any Shra-li universe stories that are not voiced by you. I know it's silly but that's my opinion. Adding a comment for the algo and channel. Thank guys!

[@cortinaman1671]

Accurate! 😀

[@guybonfiglio5899]

Oh that was good, with a maybe the best possible punch line.

[@swenswenthebest]

Aww heck yeah new upload!!!

[@FreedomGoat79]

love this chanel. keep up the good work. love hearing you guys instead of the normal AI read stories❤❤❤

[@SovereignTheGodOfEvil]

Donner Party Catering

[@Saanonymous80]

This was a good story, well narrated, and I actually didn't see the plot twist coming

[@madi4642]

Hahaha that sur is proper missunderstanding. And sure babies are best served with side guigle😊

[@goodcitizen64]

Very good and funny story with a fantastic narrator!! Thanks 👍

[@MarkMiddletonCR]

I really appreciate how these stories are read by real humans and not an AI

[@tracypowell1375]

So glad every thing got fixed I missed these daily videos

[@thesaltyspacecowboy8531]

Yeah, I finally know your name Chikondi!!! Im gonna misspell it a hundred times my fren 😂 ❤

[@buuam7555]

"you talk alot of shit for someone who looks like a friggin snack" - humanity to the space gang

[@thesaltyspacecowboy8531]

What if Ummagumma is the Herald to the 14,000 year civilization destruction cycle, the Ancient Theroriticians believe has happened at least 3 times some say as many as 6? Oops I played my hand

[@robertspangler4237]

That was so funny, a belly laugh like Santa Claus play AI can't hold a candle to you guys.

[@jayamilapersson4030]

To be honest humans would probably try to eat aliens at some point in time if aliens ever made contact with us.

[@animikokala]

I'm surprised that records of deaths from TB weren't mentioned, considering it was known as "consumption".

[@MayoHere-u3f]

22:49 I was honestly wondering when they would mention cannibalism

[@Pathfinder0712]

I can't stop laughing...❤❤❤

[@thesaltyspacecowboy8531]

Fire up the Cooker boys I got Mesquite 😅

[@titaniumw-qy4ys]

That was fun I enjoyed it

[@ElderonAnalas]

Hmm, I sort of expected that twist ending, but not quite like that. Honestly didn't expect them to run away.

[@donniejo8888]

I must have missed your name all the times before Im glad to Hear you.

[@CP-ev1on]

God I love your narrations very very much.

[@dezper4958]

glade to meet you Chakandi

[@Shyster099]

Loved this one

[@fox_trot0214]

alternative tittle : Aliens finds out about the French Gastronomy, where we have at very least 10 differents ways to cook everything that's edible edit: i love the fact that i'm currently eating enthusiastically while listening to this story

[@sinan2.71]

Wait, space lobsters! Come back! We love lobster!

[@redgamemaster]

Also, keep in mind that humans made all of those weapons while being divided. Imagine what we could do with a single outside enemy.?

[@BernadetteLee-h6j]

I am subscribed, and, with your voice, you can tell me anything, and, I'll believe you 😅😅😅

[@michaelvonblucherafaltona1994]

There are still a few places in this world, where long pork is still on the menu.

[@donnamlake6303]

It's a good thing that the aliens did not find out about the ritual cannibalism practiced by a major world religion.

[@richardmcquade6658]

LOL And we wonder why aliens don't come to visit.

[@Rejistania]

Good thing that the aliens didn't encounter Laos.

[@thatonefurry0167]

I like how most alien species see humans as primitive but out tech is almost always better than most aliens tech

[@JMM33RanMA]

This is, as usual, an interesting take on a too seldom addressed topic. This site features excellent writing and delivery by excellent voice actors. There are some stories, as I recall, based on misunderstanding caused by use of colorful idiomatic expressions. Some of my international students, in fact, complained about Americans using too many weird expressions. I realized that myself when literally translating my requests* into German: requesting a restroom [rast zimmer] got me a bedroom, and requesting a bathroom [bad zimmer] got me a bathing or showering only facility. On the other hand, some of this is due to politeness or polite euphemisms. English isn't the only language that does this, as, for example, in some Asian languages, a bribe is referred to as something else, like gift. Also, trying to order coffee in a Dutch "coffee house" was not productive, as I am a total nonsmoker. This presents creative authors, like those supplying Starbound, with a huge source of interesting and sometimes salacious material to be exploited. In this case it was not even necessary to mention "cannon fodder," or "meat wave [Атака мясной волны]," or the like. *Yes, this is no longer likely to be the case. In the early 1970s colloquial American English was not as widely known as it is now.

[@dicerson9976]

Yes! As an author on the channel (and the one for this particular story) I am always looking for interesting angles; we do have a big list of managed prompted that we have to work with, and whenever an opportunity comes up to explore something unique I take it!

[@JMM33RanMA]

@@dicerson9976 Thanks for the reply. I lived overseas for a couple of decades and could fill a book with stories. I even [when young and a travel novice] did a kind of stand-up comedy routine about first contact with squat toilets, hidden/surprise plumbing, surprising wake-up calls by Muslim muezzins or Buddhist monks, unaccustomed food items, etc. There's a book, intended for business travelers, that you might enjoy reading or possibly find inspiration in. There are several versions of "Kiss, Bow, or Shake Hands." Thanks for your great work. It's even more appreciated as you seem to love what you are doing.

[@Random_Chiroptera]

Poor aliens forgot to look up our entertainment media. We have made games for training our children's brains to grasp basic combat tactics and battlefield strategy before reaching adulthood.

[@Amipotsophspond]

Man, now I am all hungry for alien.

[@thesaltyspacecowboy8531]

Or, could it be a massive Carrington Event?

[@thesaltyspacecowboy8531]

Hey, 3 reasons for a dog. Companionship, help catch food, and being food so Uncle Lester can live a few more weeks... 😂😂😂😂 jk

[@jamesgudgeon4868]

Oh Dear! 39:42

[@boogrs55]

"I'll be having a friend for dinner" and "I'll be having a friend for dinner" have different meanings

[@ThaClipKeepah]

My man chicky is so good with the voices

[@anderssorenson9998]

They're eating the dogs they're eating the cats they're eating the pets... ...like to have you for dinner. I assumed

[@japkap]

They made the right choice i would say.

[@UncleCharlie2.0]

With Soy Sauce, many things are eatable. 😂

[@themichael3410]

How about a story where an alien ship comes to pre-FTL earth and asks to talk to the leader of the planet, which we technically don't have one. But some bored university students intercepted the signal and with their technical know-how, cosplay skills, and trolling aptitude they reply back to the aliens thinking it's a prank message so they are pranking back and dressed up in an absurd alien costume replying that "you have reached the Redundant Department of Redundancy, so please make a happy face to be transferred to the secretary of the leader of earth's secretary, give us a pouty lip if you want to be transferred to..." you get the idea. You know, stick your finger up your nose for your natural dialect, stick it in your ear for standard galactic. And when the aliens on the ship decide to go along with the message and ask to be transferred, then after a brief static screen another student from the group would answer dressed up as a different "alien" with just the top half of a grey alien mask so his mouth would show as he spoke, all blended nicely with grey makeup and spirit gum. And he would say that he's Frank from Quantum Sales of Timely Results Post Observation. After finding out the aliens are trying to reach the leader of earth, the masked student says hold on. And "transfers" them. This can go on through many costume changes between the handful of student friends to the point that it gets desperate with the slinky eyes and a headband with balls on the antennae. To using hand puppets, as well as their hand as a puppet (so right? So right!) And using their chin with googly eyes as someone else who answers from another department testing the patience of these aliens wanting to give earth their threatening message and ultimatum. They can experience a few minutes of Muzak hold music. And finally end up with a "you've reached the voicemail box of the leader of earth. Sorry I missed your communication. Please leave a message after the tone. Beep. We're sorry, the mailbox is full. Please contact us again at another time. The aliens scream in frustration and go home as fast as they can instead of trying to make contact again. And then he asks the aliens who they trying to reach? Oh, earth leader. Not the president nor the king nor chancellor, but the leader of it all.

[@futtynucker]

They were right to flee. I wouldnt mind trying a bite of space lobster.

[@lacucaracha111111]

7:15 FOR THE EMPERROR! Wait wrong franchise

[@LucienRamViernes]

An you tryu putting it in spotify😊

[@Berry_Waves]

Hello , my name is todor petrov, can you make a story where aliens come to visit/invade but when they hear the stories abbout legendary person chuck norris ( memes ) They run away never to return 😂

[@akawater]

Took a bit to get into but surprised me. Enjoyable reader and story. It’s fun to see humanity from a pretend non-terrestrial observer. 😂

[@kimcooper4751]

Using wife's phone today not her opinions This was great especially the ending and I also remember the To Serve Man the scientist as everyone was getting on the spaceship is saying it's a cookbook recipes how to serve man for food that episode really really had gotten into people's heads I was a kid and I remember neighbors and family members talking about the possibility that show could be really entertaining or scary because we really had no information about what's out there well I guess we really don't now at least the governments won't say but I wonder if aliens have shown up we come in peace and leave in a hurry in pieces just like MIB the nutty magazines at the checkout in every store tell the tale

[@cearlach32]

Only one person replied when they sent it to the entire planet

[@btgbullseye]

Narrator was great, but the story seemed quite repetitive about the horrors of humanity's achievements. Also, it seemed like it was repeating the horror of human inventions, and I kinda felt like it was being a bit repetitive about how horrific we are. Did I mention that it sounded a bit repetitive about humanity's horror?

[@funtimewithfalco]

Aww I was hungry

[@nissantzvitovey]

So basically rule 34 saved the earth?

[@alexandrabadoiu4986]

Nice!

[@Shadowcub69]

lmao!

[@waylonmurphy5772]

😂🤣😂🤣😂