All Fertility Doctors Are Bastards | BEHIND THE BASTARDS

[@MolecularMachine]

"I would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for all my meddling kids" Brilliant

[@sylviasaurusrex42069]

I hate so much that women are never safe from being violated on the deepest possible levels by anyone at anytime, including and especially by the people we are supposed to (or have no option but to) trust. And the fact that there are purposefully little to no safeguards against or consequences for this incomprehensibly vile behavior?! It makes me fucking sick.

[@ladyaj7784]

I wonder how many of these stories I heard and just assumed they were all the same story...

[@Snailman3516]

What secret thing did you do on the moon? Buzz Aldrin: I committed tax fraud

[@iank472]

I'm so happy to hear you mention the Atropal or Atro Pal as I always called it when threating my players! It actually shows up in 5th edition in the Tomb of Annihilation Adventure Module!

[@shaurmiath6719]

Loving the Atropal reference! It's so funny that I grew up at the right time and place that I absolutely *could* have played D&D with Robert Evans if we had bumped into each other.

[@jellyskink]

Aborted God Fetus was the working title of Bloodborne

[@RecRoomPlays]

Also the name of a death metal band.

[@cringlator]

I got that reference man, that was good. 🙌

[@reis5011]

Mormons have a whole thing about tracking family histories (they created Ancestry for this purpose) so it's not all that surprising that utah was the first state to pass that law

[@function0077]

I love comedy & I cannot do impressions. I love how hilariously awful Robert's impressions are.

[@dougrobinson6683]

"Marathon cheater" sounds like the inverse of a serial monogamist.

[@michael_mcgowan]

I'll be honest, when he first said that, this is what I thought he meant

[@smileyp4535]

Ok but actually tho talking around cops is the WORST advice you can give anyone. The ONLY things you should say to cops are "am I free to go?" And/or "i need a lawyer" other than that unless absolutely necessary it's probably better left unsaid

[@cassandrawasright1481]

Omg, I remember the giant hovering aborted god-fetus! The epic-level handbook was a hell of a book.

[@templarw20]

It was a weird one, yes.

[@notinspectorgadget]

"What are you guys _doing_ over there?"

[@thelittleredhairedgirlfrom6527]

I just clicked on this episode by accident and I have no idea what the fuck this is talking about. I am scared.

[@hiding_my_name]

Billy Wayne Davis might be the BTB GOAT guest.

[@thomasgiles2876]

It is weird Mormon shit. Ancestry and genetic history is a huge thing with them.

[@seelcudoom1]

isent the "implanted fertilized baboon eggs into males" literally something the tf2 medic did in the comics

[@Neuttah]

He implants a baboon heart into Heavy in Meet the Medic.

[@seelcudoom1]

@@Neuttah ya but in the cartoon when he was briefly with the classic team he secretly implanted them with baboon eggs, which are set up to rapidly gestate when he gives the signal causing the monkeys to burst forth from them

[@Neuttah]

Lol. Gotta dig those up some day...after axing my current 300 tabs, though.

[@seelcudoom1]

@@Neuttah this is immediately after he gets back from hell via selling his sould to the devil(he already sold his soul to the devil but surgically grated the other mercenaries souls to him so he doesent have a majority share)

[@user-kz8zr4si3i]

You should just introduce this guest next time you have him on as Jason Aldean. I gauruntee you no one would notice and it would be an incredible running joke

[@technopoptart]

this may be the only time i ever say this but i think this particular profession should be exclusive to people who do not own testicles. i have the distinct impression a lack of personal sperm reserves would be crucial to cutting out a great deal of malpractice

[@sholem_bond]

I would be willing to accept "has testicles, but also established by a surgeon to have had a vasectomy," personally. Also maybe, "has a recorded pre- and post-vasectomy-and-healing-period sperm count on their medical file somewhere." This wouldn't even have to be every gynecologist with testicles, IMHO. Just doctors or nurse practitioners who have testicles and who want to be fertility specialists or administer fertility treatments, specifically. Also maybe automatic paternity testing whenever a fertility specialist or fertility treatment was used for the pregnancy, and a sample of the provider's sperm required to be made available for the test, which should also be conducted by a third-party lab (NOT the fertility doctor's lab, obviously). (There also obviously needs to be way more standardized, frequent regulation of fertility treatment providers, regardless of any other measures taken.)

[@luckymosola8196]

Agreed. Entirely nips this surprisingly pervasive issue in the bud.

[@Jergling]

All hail the Piss God! (Doctor who fixed my bladder infection)

[@Bigmackenzie]

I'm one of the 8 or 9 ppl here for Roberts D&D and 40k references 😂

[@lizzyb.8009]

12:50 the atropal from the Epic Level Handbook :3

[@CorporalTunnel]

Happy to be part of the 9 people who knew this

[@ConnorvanLummel]

Used it in one campaign, the party's faces were hilarious

[@Mrjacharles]

Love your voices. Really rich and deep :P

[@function0077]

I thought Shawn Kemp's nickname was "father of a nation"? Shawn Kemp is a basketball player that played for the Seattle Sonics in the 1990s.

[@candicepierce8724]

Adventures in Chult babeeeeee!

[@function0077]

What do serial killers & some fertility doctors fear (from the 1970s thru 1980s)? Genetic databases created by companies like 23 and me. Lol!

[@nathanbreen1495]

It was the Atropal!! And I declare myself alpha nerd by noting it was actually in the Epic Level Handbook!! Nah, I'm kidding, weirdly overexcited someone other than me and my brother remember that freaky god abortion

[@tomdavis3878]

The Atropal has come back in 5e. If you're interested, check the Tomb of Annihilation adventure for more info.

[@turtle4llama]

Narcissism is a hell of a drug

[@leahsander5490]

Well, I have sperm stored since I’m on HRT… guess if I ever end up using that, I’ll get a DNA check for the kid 😅

[@Jergling]

I know I already made a joke comment but I'm almost done with the podcast and I have a bit of an objection. The whole premise of this episode is that "fertility doctors" are bastards, but the only people described here are specifically male gynecologists who practice artificial insemination. The fact that they call themselves "fertility doctors" is just part of the lie. They're private sperm bank operators. Actual fertility doctors (usually dual-certified as endocrinologists) generally don't propose a turkey baster in the vagina as the solution to infertility - they help the parents manage sperm count, hormones and timing to help them get pregnant by relatively normal means, and turn to something like IVF or surrogacy if there's a physiological issue preventing the mother from conceiving or carrying to term. That's a whole other can of worms, but it's not what you discussed here.

[@origami_dream]

But your objection there relies on defining "fertility doctor" as... not these people; saying they don't count. Yet regulatory boards count them. They're allowed to call themselves that. So... they are. So sure, it'd be nice if "fertility doctor" became a protected term and there were actual regulations, but until then, it seems accurate (except in the sense that the title is obviously hyperbolicly broad which is the joke). Like, if i say "all nutritionists are bastards", yup, largely true. That *should* be a protected term and people shouldn't be allowed to just call themselves that, but right now they can, so they are.

[@MrGksarathy]

​@@origami_dreamGood point. Nutrition is yet another field with no regulation and a ton of room for bad actors. Still, it is insane just how many of these sperm doctors seem to have a stealth breeding kink.

[@johnl5350]

Once they stopped encouraging helmet to helmet hits, I think the rate of CTE has likely gone down. Sadly we are still seeing guys who played while it was that way develop symptoms. I'm sure it's not 'safe' but I'm willing to bet once players who played their entire careers with targeting penalties and concussion Protocols we will see less severe and less frequent cases. Especially in people who don't have a 20 year playing career. At that point I think you can safely say reasonable measures were taken to reduce and minimize the risks, and what risk is there is well known by anyone who wants to play.

[@johnl5350]

Also, if you consider bodybuilding a sport, it's way more dangerous. Since you have to do steroids to participate, all of them have major risk factors for enlarged hearts, liver damage, brain damage, endocrine damage, damage to pretty much everything. At least the NFL piss tests

[@origami_dream]

You think you can safely say that every 12 year-old in rural America has been sat down by their parents and told, "Alright, beloved child of mine, let's sit down and have a chat. So there is a proven chance that playing this game where people want to throw you to the ground violently can cause your soft, squishy developing brain to get a bunch of concussions. Oh, you don't know what a concussion is because you're 12? Well, child of mine, a concussion is where your brain bangs against the inside of your skull, and they can be deadly. But don't worry, it's much more likely in this violent sport that you get a bunch of little ones that permanently degrade the structure of your brain, where your personality; your soul; your very self resides, so much that it causes you to have violent mood swings and memory issues for the rest of your life. So, knowing that, would you like to give informed consent to play this game, the consequences of which could ruin your life, my beloved 12 year-old kid who is not trusted with operating heavy machinery because your brain is not fully developed , nor are your motor functions, and who wants to be an astronaut? Now, don't answer now, first look over this research, and remember, sure this may be your only chance of going to college (especially without crippling debt; and yes that college will exploit you to the best of their ability, making millions off you while you get the privilege of an education), and yes we might lose the house if you don't go pro, and sure your friends are doing it and will bully you for not, but this is about you. So think about the future seriously, as your developing brain is well-equipped to do, and i'm always here with my wealth of knowledge and vast emotional maturity if you have any questions and won't call you any slurs if you wanna play soccer instead."? I envy your faith in humanity. And in the ability of pre-teens to give informed consent to danger. And of the NFL to not be still propagandizing and working hard to minimize knowledge and perception of the risks.

[@MrGksarathy]

​@@origami_dreamYou put this so well, man. We're honestly fucked without drastic action against football and other heavy contact sports like it.

[@justcommenting4981]

This is some Arrested Development shit. Even the name. The Baby God? Wtf is going on up there?

[@Ziegrif]

The god fetus is called an Atropal and it returned in the 5e books, specifically Tomb Of Annihilation Page 214.

[@adamplentl5588]

I would love for Billy to play this guy in a movie lol

[@malcolmdarke5299]

I got that reference! Atropals. *Weird* fuckers. Evil undead god-fetuses.

[@amberwilliams7277]

You have to know who your relatives are in order to postumously convert them!

[@rcchadburn]

Hehehe. Dr quincy fortier sr is another one of those with all sorts of kids coming out of the woodwork.

[@Ghost-np2ey]

Yo robert glad you remember Acererack summoning Atropal the god fetus. Glad i was one of the 9 people.

[@templarw20]

Lesson in this seems to be never trust a male fertility doctor…

[@luckymosola8196]

I've never understood why women would even see a male gyno these days, let alone a fertility specialist.

[@ValaSelene]

Poor Wil Wheaton. 😮

[@sholem_bond]

Yeah I've heard that as a person he seems to be fine? I can't tell if Robert's Wil Wheaton cracks are a TNG reference, or if there's something horrible he did/is accused of doing that I don't know about.

[@tomdavis3878]

@@sholem_bond In a later episode he clarifies this: Wil hasn't done anything, he just seemed like an innocuous guy that you could have an irrational disliking of. Robert dropped the bit when #MeToo happened and people started assuming that he was referring to Wheaton being a sex pest.

[@sholem_bond]

For the record, I feel like "went to medical school and was fully a doctor in Region A, and just never got certified in Region B," isn't really "not a doctor" in the same way as, say, the guy who founded chiropractic was "not a doctor" (never went to medical school or passed any type of certification exam, except for maybe in his own program or something). I'm not going to defend anything else the guy did, but idk, to me that's different. (I'm waiting to find out that he'd also faked his original Northern Irish medical qualifications.) (Edit: it seems like he didn't fake those qualifications, but given the Everything [Professional] about him, I'm truly surprised he wasn't lying about more of the things about him we do currently think we know.)

[@FlameDarkfire]

I’d argue the doctors aren’t bastards but they sure made a lot of them! Do hohoho!

[@maggiedacatt]

How is that not fraud?

[@luckymosola8196]

I have no idea. Seems to fit the concept perfectly.

[@johncabey3616]

I have almost as many blows to the head as a SPED teacher as I did as a black hockey player.

[@dogearflopper7011]

Special ed is a contact sport.

[@markmaurer6370]

my wife and myself did 4 rounds of artificial insemination. the 4th time the doctor did the procedure on her and we have a child. women go crazy when they can't get pregnant (and really want to). not all fertility docs are bastards but of course some are

[@realperson4993]

PLEASE stop blaming the actions of rapists on narcissism. It's a real personality disorder, stop using it as a boogeyman. People with NPD see you when you say shit like this

[@mookinbabysealfurmittens]

Narcissism is a personality trait, which can be part of a "personality disorder" when it's pathological, but it is a thing on its own just as anxiety and panic are not necessarily GAD or what-have-you. It can be harmful to refer to unrelated things with mental disorder traits - like "schizo weather" - but ffs we have to draw the line at a reasonable place. Unless "borderline" is offensive cos of BPD. OK I'm being hyperbolic, but "narcissistic" has the medical definition and the familiar definition, and I'm sorry that triggers so many pathological narcissists' insecurity - by definition. But you can learn to cope like all the rest of us folks with mental disorders.

[@realperson4993]

@@mookinbabysealfurmittens There are so many other words you can use for that personality trait, other words that aren't as charged. We have to draw the line somewhere? Ok, I'm drawing it here. Don't use "narcissist" as a derogatory term. I think that is a great place to draw the line. Calling mass rapists "narcissists" is not comparable to using the word "borderline" to indicate that something is on the line of a metaphorical border. And your personal decision to tolerate ableism is not indicative of "the rest of us folks with mental disorders!"

[@markmaurer6370]

​@@mookinbabysealfurmittens are you thinking of neurotic personality trait (emotions dominate your behavior)? everyone is influenced by the emotions they have to some degree but not everyone has delusions of grandeur and become enraged when criticized.

[@shadowdroid776]

These doctors *are* narcissistic though, they literally believed their genes were better to pass down compared to others, and they played god in the worst way possible by forcing people to give birth to their children without them knowing all because they saw it as something they can do. They are narcissistic, that's true. I also want to add that someone can have narcissistic traits without having the cluster B disorder itself. Some people have dissociative traits but don't have DID or any other full-blown dissociation related disorder. Saying someone has narcissistic traits isn't bad, cluster B is the most well-known personality disorder cluster and the reason NPD specifically is so low in percentage is because a narcissist needs to admit that they, in fact, are a narcissist, and that is a rarity at best to see happen. In reality, NPD is more than likely SUPER common or one of the most common personality disorders, but only 0.5-5% of the population admit they have it and accepted the diagnosis of a professional.

[@BigSmiley0TV]

"it's a real personality disorder"...well seems like disorder is a fairly important word there. Asthma is a medical condition as well, but there's nothing good about it, so I won't be out here upset about people making fun of it or recognizing that it limits lung function

[@matts3822]

This was gross to listen to. Hearing "well they got what they wanted" repeated by the hosts is dangerously close to apologia for easily avoided medical mistakes, but because "you still got a baby" it's just a joke

[@sholem_bond]

Yeah it's one thing (not really) if you chose Anonymous Donor A and got sperm from Anonymous Donor B instead; that would still be wrong, but in that situation maybe I wouldn't care as much whether the right sperm was used. (I think finding out it was the doctor's sperm would be horrifying and violating no matter what.) But if you chose sperm from your gay male best friend who volunteered to be your donor; or were planning to carry the baby fathered by your wife's brother's sperm/your wife's pre-op sperm so it would actually be your biological child as a couple... and instead you got sperm from Anonymous Donor B (or worse, from the doctor himself), THEN you'd be horrified and mad. But either way, it's still wrong. I don't see how it's not fraud to claim you're going to use sperm A, and then use sperm B or C instead, especially knowingly. I do think most of the jokes they make in this video are at the doctors' expenses, not primarily the victims,' but there's still not a lot of attention paid to 1. How the people actually carrying these babies to term felt when they learned about this (not just how the former babies felt), and 2. How these should-be-crimes and the lack of legal consequences still betray such a casual attitude toward women's bodies. I bet that even in states where this is illegal, it's illegal because of how it makes the fathers and maybe their children feel (and because of weird Mormon genetic shit), not because of how violating it is for the mother. (I also don't get why having fertility treatments is a "karma" issue, such that Buddha would be telling the couples "I told you so"? Or was that not directed at them and I misunderstood?)

[@MrGksarathy]

​​@@sholem_bondI don't think the karma thing was directed at the patients at all. Mostly society/the law for not anticipating the obvious consequences of no regulations.

[@BigSmiley0TV]

Well considering they say it's in the ballpark of rape, when they talk about it being the doctor's sperm, I think it's a matter of perspective. It's not that they don't think it's horrible, but this is behind the bastards, a comedy history podcast about the worst human beings, and they even explained they were considering the perspective, that when it was a couple of babies that weren't the right sperm, it could be a terrible mistake, but a lot smaller of a mistake than when a doc accidentally kills a patient, so consider the perspective, because nothing and nobody is always perfect. Next up will probably be a story about a dictator that gases humans into a genocide, and there will be jokes