Alternative Cuss Words - Tim Hawkins

[@mizzwriter13]

One time, I accidentally stepped on my friend's mother's foot while I was wearing boots and she screamed, "GOD BLESS AMERICA" instead of cursing and to this day, that is one of the best alternative curses I've heard.

[@bonniemoon6790]

That is majestic lol

[@peacefulriverhomestead]

🤣🤣

[@jocelyn3721]

My papa always used that one. :)

[@is4b3l4.h]

Lol that's what I say when I stub my toe XD

[@gwenyverreking5565]

Okay I’m using that one!!😂😂

[@abbeyhelmus7890]

We also have "nincompoop," "what in tarnation?" and my friend made the word "conflabbit."

[@abbeyhelmus7890]

@@supermarioplumberbros4839 I'll tell her that!

[@arandomuser9459]

Sometimes I call my brother “nincompoop”. Got it from a comic book and used it ever since.

[@laceandribbonsviolin]

Nooo! You beat me to “tarnation”

[@thesilverblader6714]

There's also" Buscuits!" Or the one I made up"Applesauce!" It can be used as an expletive of surprise or disappointment.

[@ohome9893]

For some reason a couple years ago I would say: "Poodle sticks!" XD So weird XD

[@thevillageidiot990]

I have one friend who is really a spitfire, she likes to use Tim Hawkins Cristian cuss words. A guy bumped into her and knocked her over recently and instead of cussing at him she yelled "WHAT THE BLEEP!! WATCH IT YOU SON OF A MOTHERLESS GOAT!! " I could hardly contain my laughter when the guy turned around and said, " oh! You like Tim Hawkins too!" And he walked away.

[@kaded_cat]

Omg that guy. Bumped into her at the right time

[@andreahenning8076]

@@kaded_cat More like it was the right guy to bump into her... can you imagine being called a "son of a motherless goat" in anger and not getting the reference?? lol

[@kaded_cat]

@@andreahenning8076 yeah 😂😂😂 You son of a motherless goat!

[@kaded_cat]

@@andreahenning8076 You tooting knocked me over!

[@andreahenning8076]

@@kaded_cat Lol, that works too.

[@JoshuaMNielsen]

Having grown up Baptist, "Son of a Baptist Preacher" got me. XD

[@PatriciaGruteke-gl1yl]

I like this one😊

[@veggiet2009]

I remember returning as an adult to my childhood church one Christmas, and I was standing towards the back of the sanctuary near by the table where they collected the christmas cards to exchange, and one of the sweet little old ladies that was just as sweet and little and old as I remembered her, came into the sanctuary took one look at the christmas cards, opened her mouth and I could not believe the words that came out of her mouth... "Ah Cranberries" ... I stifled both a laugh, and a shocked expression.

[@ilovejesus8241]

"Who's got the crapola?? I need it to color my tree trunk!" Hahaha!!! 😂😂😂

[@joshchandler9534]

yall need to stop taking my crapola

[@cyaninkling2638]

STOP TAKING MY CRAPOLA!!!

[@randomthoughts5094]

The sad part is I literally say that all the time

[@frankiecousineau6179]

I have to take a crapola

[@sammymartin7947]

"Jeepers" - Scooby Doo anyone? We were already being taught alternate cuss words in childhood shows.

[@ryanpulliam8987]

Actually that was jinkies

[@DragonGrace4]

lmao, both work

[@jaketimm5429]

Mother of Pearl SpongeBob

[@raesour2806]

My dad says jeepers all the time

[@raydoestuff]

lol exactly!!!!

[@jamie3boymom277]

After being in labor for 29 hours I let out a “good gravy!” And everyone in the room started cracking up.

[@MissRaex]

Lol xD I would have cracked up too!

[@rianaahmed5462]

Lol

[@indodinoyoutube]

😂

[@cbsumm88]

Jamie 3boymom 😂😂

[@Confoil]

That's an awful name for a kid... No wonder everyone in the room laughed.

[@buffalo8694]

you can really hear the country boy come out when he says " H E double hockey sticks"

[@fredmckinney8933]

He's from here in Missouri, albeit the greater St. Louis area, aka "that other Missouri" to the small Ozarks town we're in.

[@velda3884]

I was at Chick-fil-A with my mom, and someone zoomed passed her. She yelled “you actually have a stop sign DILWEED I say that all the time now. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

[@RosesR4U]

Oh wow , that’s a good one ❗️👏🏻👏🏻my new favorite to use

[@Axolotl-z-q6g]

It’s funny you were at Chick-fil-A!

[@mayah16]

Does anyone else think it's even more funny when he laughs at his own jokes? LOL

[@graceho7479]

It makes me laugh because it’s so wholesome!

[@mickib1592]

Him and the shrieking women. Totally lose it...

[@robertrupnow6409]

Yeah

[@listeningeyes9990]

Miss Mayan, It makes his routine that much more funnier when he tries hard not to laugh😊.

[@codyhannahmary83]

Like Billy Connolly!

[@sicariius7682]

My one friend, when he is angry; while he never cusses, he lets everyone know. He screams "*PROFANITY*" at the top of his lungs. Makes everyone laugh so hard.

[@stormyphillips251]

Your friend sounds freaking amazing 😂😂

[@nightwarper1760]

Does he actually say the word profanity or just actual profanity

[@NathanWhitt23]

Savitar Shut the front Door you Fart Knocker.🤣

[@madam-mint]

I need to try that one

[@berwynsigns4115]

@@nightwarper1760 It sounds like he actually yells the word "profanity"

[@IntrepidFraidyCat]

I watched this while working in the kitchen..... my 10 year old son found me keeled over, wheezing with tears streaming from my eyes. He thought I was upset! I haven't laughed this hard in years. My stomach muscles are sore!😆🤣😆🤣

[@kellydyer4840]

When my daughter was having her fractured arm set she kept saying things like “fart nuggets” and “cheesy pizza” and I swear I have never gotten so many strange looks from a doctor.

[@aubreysummers1729]

My friend, brother, and I scream "AW TOOT" every time we see each other.😂

[@yaboidpaul9842]

I asked my friend how to stop cussing, and she sent me the link to this video...I regret nothing

[@billiusdoe6813]

The first goats were motherless.

[@thecorbscurlyshow5410]

That is true

[@MagnetMagicGirl]

That’s beautiful!! 🤣

[@aubreysummers1729]

😱

[@mickib1592]

You need to open for Tim. Just sayin...!! 👍

[@101moosefan]

Son of a motherless goat is from the "The three Amigo's

[@Soothing_Chaos]

I've been trying to work on not cussing, so now when I get cut off in traffic I just yell out, "BLESS YOU!"

[@geraldfrost4710]

The Southern Lady phrase "That's nice, that's real nice!" is the translation from "Fuck y'all to h E double hockey sticks!"

[@raydoestuff]

me too!!!!!!!!!!!

[@NBK1122]

The other Southern Lady phrase: Bless your heart!

[@vickiweber4718]

I say "fudge you"

[@thesilverblader6714]

@@vickiweber4718 woah that was close! To close.

[@paulaclark9729]

Still one of my favorite bits. There actually is such a thing as a crud muffin, made with leftover ice cream, chocolate chips, marshmallows, and other sweet remnants you have laying around. I think I'll make some. Thanks for the idea.

[@jamesengland7461]

Well, shove it in your piehole 😂

[@melanne7901]

Was in the hospital having an outpatient procedure done, no anesthesia, in a triage area. There were curtained cubicles, no walls, knowing there were children there, I was trying very hard not to curse, what flew out of my mouth caused a wave of giggles, and I cannot live it down to this day..."Holy Banana Peels!"

[@rm2399]

I don't know why I find the "Pat Sajak" one so funny. I've heard people use "Bob Saget" the inflection makes it really sound like a cuss word. But the "Pat Sajak?" LOL

[@taylorboys3791]

I thought he was going to say "AND VANNA WHITE!"

[@latentsymphony2746]

For some reason he reminds me of Robin Williams

[@skylarreese4785]

Sanguine Dream YESSSSS!!!

[@carolecook1116]

Didn't. Now~Yaaasss👍

[@nunya9555]

Without the demonic possession

[@whoohooles123]

and Bryan Regan 😁

[@TheShminkin4]

Yus

[@LuckyBadger]

I laughed so hard at these, I scared my dogs! They're looking at me like "What the Bob Barker is going on? Shut the front door!"

[@IndianTelephone]

Aww toots!

[@moonwalkerangel7008]

I use shut the front limo door.

[@spookylad1367]

BENJAMIN BARKER!!! someone is bound to get the reference I just know it lol

[@trentmckenzie343]

Same

[@DYLANKNAPP94]

Lol

[@racingfuel28]

I love how he uses a NY accent when he says "hey who's got the crapola over here?" lol

[@powderkegsuga5598]

When my husband is really angry: *"Son of a bean-dip, mother-FRITO."*

[@deuce860]

I’m eating Mac-n-cheese while watching this and I almost had to clean my screen a second time.

[@shah5610]

lmao

[@fredmckinney8933]

What in the Mac and Cheese?

[@Dlww4outdoors40]

@@fredmckinney8933Mac and cheese

[@Kjoyful419]

😂😂😂 we love this guy!!!! He is even funnier in person we laughed so hard it was hard to breathe!!! Thank God for Tim Hawkins Clean Christian Comedy🤗🤗🤗

[@llamasarus1]

Clean, except the "fart-knocker" and "suck eggs" part that really means something NSFW and he was oblivious to.

[@future_doctor_sam]

So....why isn't he more popular? You don't need to be all sexual and explicit to be funny! This guy is proof!

[@Reubentheimitator6572]

Sam Cuentas Well, maybe we as Christians would be the only ones who would like him.

[@Scarlett-Hofferson]

you shouldn't have have to hide what you believe just because you want to liked

[@randomfangirlqueen]

I also like John Crist and Studio C

[@jimforjzs777]

He goes against word of God. I don't think He is funny period.

[@xcardzx-1395]

jimforjzs777 uh no he doesnt stop being so religious

[@futureseven]

Blessings! I am writing for myself and the young man I work with (special needs). David my client came to see you in Edmonton and was allowed to meet you (thx for gas money offer, he made it home😁) Thank you on his behalf for the meet and greet. He mentioned watching you on Facebook , although this is true he also watches you on DVD as he owns most of your collection. In the last 500 or so weeks your name or your jokes have come up at least 500 times. Thank you for enriching our lives with your wacky sense of humor and ministry.😁✌️

[@bizzy_kornher5454]

Nobody: The women in the front who's never heard a joke: HAHAHAHA

[@TheLEGOCantina]

I lost it at fartknocker 😂😂😂

[@MasterAnakinSkyWalker]

The LEGO Cantina- I used to say fartknocker all the time

[@VueiyVisarelli]

Me, too, +Wingfan...in _middle school_ ...

[@adammilette3076]

I lost it when he started knocking

[@jamesonsummers]

The LEGO Cantina I lost it at "Crud Muffin" but I laughed so hard that I cried at 'Fart Knocker"!

[@autumnchandler7744]

The LEGO Cantina I was freaking in tears when he said FART KNOCKER!!!! I dead lol

[@TheSupernaturalguy7]

"Stop taking my crapola!"

[@LizardBrick]

wolf moon and Potterheadtexan Studios suck eggs!

[@pepper341]

"Son of a motherless goat" 😂

[@EddyGurge]

Great line from The Three Amigos.

[@that1shadyfella779]

EddyGurge I used to use that before I knew what the three amigos was. Which was up until about 6 months ago... but still.

[@de_smith]

So, that one time, God created the first two goats and they had a son....

[@NotSteveCook]

ORANGE juice From "The Three Amigos". It's an insult spoken by Steve Martin's character.

[@joshmorgan9374]

This poor baby goat's mother was probably shot by a hunter in the middle of a meadow. Oh wait wrong thing.

[@avacosby7435]

Couple things.... I love how Tim gets a kick out of himself and ALSO TIM DOESNT GET ENOUGH CREDIT FOR HIS VOICES!!!!!!!!!

[@maryerb6062]

Tell me about it. He knows just how to use 'em!

[@albertrichards7137]

my aunt uses flippin all the time. when she visited us in Arkansas a few years ago, we had to take to the small town of Flippin Arkansas where she nearly flippin died laughing. she passed the sign "welcome to Flippin" the Flippin fire department, the flippin police station and directly to the flippin wal mart. I tell you, it made her flippin day.

[@DavidThrower1969]

I have watched this over a dozen times, and it never gets old - LOL! This guy is hilarious.

[@jewelkoca1633]

No matter how many times I watch this, I can't stop laughing 😂

[@jonathanhollis5764]

Tim Hawkins is very funny, I met Him once after one of his comedy shows. It was awesome.

[@eleaya_rebekah]

Once i got made at someone and just yelled "FOR THE LOVE OF VEGGIETALES" at them

[@jamesfair9751]

Well if someone made you I would think you would be appreciative and thank them. Most people go their whole lives trying to get made and someone did it for you!!??!!

[@RyanClark-gr9yb]

People who don’t use auto correct are going straight to heel.

[@hollyburbach9917]

Bob and larry would like a word lol

[@DaddyBeanDaddyBean]

A friend uses "turdbug" and "turdbucket" interchangeably. I closed a sharp folding knife on my thumb and started to shout something, but redirected when I realized my 12yo daughter was right there, and ended up shouting "SON OF A SEABISCUIT".

[@beth_the_fake_ginger]

I know someone who literally says "bad word" every time she wants to cuss.

[@MasterAnakinSkyWalker]

beththeREDfan - if you've seen the movie Ramona & Beezus, Ramona says the word "guts" when she tells her family she's gonna say a bad word. She just yells "Guts" at the top of her lungs. It's funny. The movie was crap, but that line was hilarious.

[@lemoncoconut7402]

what the cuss is smth i heard someone use.

[@carolecook1116]

beththeREDfan ~ Heard that & also sweet "oh cuss." A relative says "sassafrass," & louder, when extra perturbed, "SASSAFRASS TEA!"😂

[@sharonbertolet3272]

beththeREDfan XD

[@randomfangirlqueen]

beththeREDfan bleep.

[@beentheredonethat7365]

He forgot “Go forth and multiply!

[@elihenline6089]

or "Be fruitful and multiply, just not in those exact words."

[@donnaevans5131]

Never heard that one but I like it!

[@shyowl3453]

Go ingest a satchel of bananas

[@abigails5273]

Hold on I need to write this one down

[@edgepixel8467]

The cute hypocrisy of yearning for a good old classic “go fuck yourself,” but without the guilt.

[@jasonscott201]

They should have had cottonheadedninnymuggins

[@elirabego-cardoso8478]

Dude. Yes.

[@crazygabers6616]

What a god

[@downbntout]

Racist, much? Or sounds like it

[@wafflglittr1434]

YEEESSSS I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING! Loool

[@shadowlikesbeans2765]

ELF

[@RedT...TheOriginal.NotANumber]

Don't forget the Southern swear that everyone knows is a swear but is always rendered with a smile: Bless your heart!

[@sadgary6144]

This made me laugh so hard i started crying. Why isnt this guy more popular he is funnier than some comedians nowadays

[@paigecote4014]

Where did you guys put my crapola crayon?! I seriously needed that to color my tooting picture. Nice one you crud muffins. XD

[@cozylime_2006]

Yea, Fart Knocker

[@ajsamano7869]

I want a ringtone of Hawkins saying toot so whenever someone I don't like texts me it's like, "aweeee toot!"

[@ana-xp7qd]

AJ Samano lmao good idea

[@considerthewildflowers5533]

Going to memorize these just so I can use them when I drive 😂

[@hhairston43]

When my friend, who is a pastor, gets upset she says “pooty squabbles!”

[@PhilipBarron]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@indodinoyoutube]

XDDDDDDD

[@Dan-sb2fb]

i’m totally stealing that

[@janitaboatner9353]

That is hilarious! 😂

[@tommyhubbard5733]

"She", can't be a pastor......

[@sweetteaandsucculents3730]

Where is “elderberry”? As in, “your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries?”

[@benjaminnewlon7865]

i bleepin' love that movie

[@boldthaddeusquil4700]

@@benjaminnewlon7865 fuck yea where is it

[@margaretbonnette678]

@@boldthaddeusquil4700 It's from Monty Python...I think it's from their Holy Grail movie. British comedies, especially the old ones, are rather good.

[@Ravel.Alex43]

Sweet Tea and Succulents, 5 is WAY out there.

[@pathwalkermmjdh6346]

Yaaas!! Monty Python!

[@SpecificLove7]

Always loved this clip

[@scottishprepper8835]

Specific Love Creations I love your channel as well.

[@timeandspace7480]

What happens when the son of a biscuit meets the son of a biscuit eater?

[@ursaminor9780]

Time And Space Well, then everything goes to H-E--double-hockey-sticks.

[@phoenixx435]

Mind.......blown.

[@littlejoe9381]

The son of a biscuit eater apologizes to the son of a biscuit for all of the biscuits his parent has eaten in the past. Apology is accepted, they shake hands, give a pat on the back and all is well. No more biscuit eating.

[@SnakeEyesOfficial42]

Bad things, my dude, bad things...

[@annemchurchwell]

They date each others sisters and get married and have biscuit children of course.

[@dariancremer4519]

Tim is just the best. They say that there are actors who are triple threats, they can sing, dance and act. Well, Tim is a quadruple threat, he can sing, he can dance, he can act, and he can laugh at himself while he does it. Thanks, Tim.

[@saltymisfit6566]

He actually reminds me of Robin Williams with his quick wit and love of his craft

[@emeyers5984]

My dear sweet Mom didn’t cuss/curse, but she would say “God bless a milk cow” or “Fudge!” or “Dagnabit!” or “Shoot fire and save matches” 🤣

[@Ledgerfan2003]

I say fudge all the time. That’s one of my favorite saying

[@biliussteed2102]

I love the, “Shoot fire and save matches!”

[@ryah6943]

This is the cleanest try not to laugh video I’ve ever seen!! And the most helpful!!😂👍🏼🙏🏼

[@Lucius51]

Who’s at the door daddy, oh some fartknocker tell him to go away😂

[@lesevans7112]

"Fartknocker!" Bad time to take a bite of my apple!

[@pathwalkermmjdh6346]

Lol!

[@ContinuumFM]

DANG MATE!! Ya just got a South African fan. Laying here after two surgeries, came across this video. Made me laugh so much I actually forgot about the pain. TRUELY God has create laughter to heal and daymmmn you're way better than my surgeon. BE BLESSED AND GOD BLESS

[@smallsavage1297]

I made a few myself: “Great clouds!” “Oh, for the love of mice!” “Holy cat!” “You little rat!” (I also use weasel) and my favorite from 6th grade: “That guy is such a Wexler.”

[@KeepingitRealintheKitchen]

Not gonna lie, most of these are in my vocabulary! (I totally grew up in the church)

[@eliserose3688]

Keeping it Real in the Kitchen ikr i also say booty

[@Janjelle1]

Elsa Gilmore puddy not booty

[@NotJayge]

same

[@danaparzych4034]

Great Caesars ghost! , son of a motherless goat,

[@christellehires]

😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅

[@isabellefrey7500]

"shut the front door!" 'okay.' "I didn't even know it was open!" #bestoneyet

[@katetooke3120]

I work with children and one day I walked into a table and just yelled out: potato skins!!! Its the first thing that came into my head

[@evangelineblackwell3047]

Played this to so many people now and every time I get as far as 'fart knocker' and I'm done.....rib hurting, face aching laughter done!! Awesome!

[@LilaFallang]

My favorite Christian swear word as a kid was, "crud diddly moo moo" . Ahh, those were the good ol' days.

[@someonefemale4195]

I was having such a tooty day. Now I'm laughing so hard I am crying.

[@oakleymondry]

BOLSHEVIK! ... that was close.... *cracks up laughing*

[@spookylad1367]

Comrade?

[@kristinas490]

Ikr Especially in America where we enjoy capitalism.

[@bolshevikbrothers]

Mhm.

[@adrianwilliams6908]

I have taught my kids to call their turds "communists"

[@bolshevikbrothers]

Adrian Williams, XD.

[@allisonjohnson6399]

Fart Knocker is always gonna be my favorite :)

[@buckbuchanan4902]

"Son of a motherless goat" gets me every time! I am still waiting for the perfect situation to say that to someone. As a Christian, I have been using alternative cuss words for over 45 years. My current go-to is "Poop on a Stick!"

[@Kallys23]

I feel like someone has been around me, having heard the "Motherless Goats"... I picked that up years ago from a book. Outstanding! Might I add "Mother of Jane" to your list.

[@khloe9084]

“Kiss my grits” Me: dead lol

[@BX138]

Thank you Flo

[@margaretbonnette678]

from "Alice" . I loved that show, downright hilarious!

[@loganflorea3165]

The one I used the most is, “WHAT IN THE HOLY JEHOVAH’S WITNESS!”

[@arandomuser9459]

Logan Florea Mind if I steal that one? It’s hilarious. 😂

[@fredmckinney8933]

One I use is "what in the ham and eggs...?"

[@avianelixir]

Logan Florea that’s a little long don’t you think?

[@harriskids7312]

Soo funny 😂😂😂

[@taylorcampbell4855]

This one is great. Thanks for sharing.

[@Breezy3401]

I had a teacher in high school who, of course, couldn't curse at us, so she did the next best thing. She'd slam her hand down loudly on her desk & semi-shouted the word "Cuss"!! We quickly learned that meant somebody was about to get in trouble. To this day, I smile @ the memory. Sometimes, we acted out just to get her aggravated enough to say it!

[@Manda-zf3qi]

I've NÉVER laughed so long and hard at any comedian éver. This guy is great! Funny as hell! Good clean & funny humor. Brilliant!!! 😅🤣😂

[@BLowefreezing]

I believe you mean H. E. double hockey sticks. 😉😂

[@russhoffman6301]

One of his best routines. Never fail to laugh when I watch it.

[@dragonborn9967]

I was finding it hard to control my laughing fits holy moly. this guy is seriously funny. I have not laughed this hard in a long time

[@briannahuser8315]

Same!

[@VictoriaEMeredith]

Or my favorites, which I use at work: "bad word" and "son of a bad word." (Sixth grade teacher.) "Son of a bad word" is especially helpful when you drop something on your foot. Often accompanied by a long and drawn-out "Shhhhhhheboygan!" or possibly "shhhhhhhhhhhipyard!!!"

[@makennaf3398]

son of a motherless goat, I'm dead 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😋😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@hllthR-jv5pe]

Faximumgirl5 bookworm my favourite was crud muffins

[@rowynnecrowley1689]

I say this all the time. But I've never heard anyone else say it. I thought I invented it.

[@Kgbinks]

It's from the movie, the three amigos

[@bigmoecosmo8232]

"Well, dat burn it, paw!" .....Hoss Cartwright from Bonanza.

[@MasterAnakinSkyWalker]

"Tall glass of milk and a crud muffin, ain't no better way to start the day!"

[@biliussteed2102]

Tall glass of blue milk.

[@RocknRoRose]

You and John Crist are my replacements for Jim Carey and Robin Williams. Love you guys.

[@juliakatherined]

Roseann Sorrentino YES

[@biliussteed2102]

God rest Robin Williams.

[@MissEricaBarnes]

As a born again Christian who's trying to defeat the cursing demon this video really comes in handy. I know I can stop cursing, I just need to increase my vocabulary!!!

[@loravotaw2814]

This is hilarious!! I laughed so hard I had tears rolling down my face. Thanks Tim, and thanks for uploading this clip...... I needed that!

[@andreaexceedsrubies]

"Bleep" got me and I thoroughly enjoyed this segment lol!

[@susannahein7471]

Am I the only one who is laughing so hard but trying not to make any noise so people don't ask why I'm on the floor laughing? Just me? Ok

[@fratpresky]

SON OF A MOTHERLESS GOAT THE WIFI'S OUT!

[@cozylime_2006]

What the what!Shut the front door which son of a biscuit eater did that to me! They're such a fart knocker.

[@stephenrainda5838]

Your forgot the Mormon favorite. "Cheese and rice! " lol

[@geraldfrost4710]

You'd have to be from California to use it, but: "Conn Dam, Sanoma Beach!"

[@giantclaw138]

It'd be the first I've heard of that. Then again, I don't live in Salt Lake

[@giantclaw138]

Or Provo

[@tornadogirl9099]

Or the favorite on the movie Rio "Cheese and Sprinkles!"

[@raydoestuff]

yes!!!!!!!!!!! i use that one all the time!!!

[@Jlove-hf9xw]

that's so useful and hilarious. my mom sometimes say son of a biscuit and son of a biscuit eater. i do need those christian cuss words, because I'm a christian and might need them when necessary. it will be our secret weapon as christians to cuss up the storm if necessary. thanks for the list of christian cuss words. i appreciate it. god bless.

[@sabrinarhodes6273]

Holy flippin-flip-flop. I haven't laughed this hard in so long. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@jmw9904]

A good many of these I've heard from older people, TV shows and older movies.

[@mr.mauricemoss6709]

i used to tell my brother “SHUT THE FRONT DOOR” all the time when i was mad at him. my parents dont like it lets just say ive gotten grounded a lot in the past....

[@West-rk7dz]

That's unfortunate. There should be litteraly nothing wrong with that at all. If anything it should be funny.

[@donnaevans5131]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@samantha5384]

But you missed my favorite- “Oh fudge!” I also use “Sugar!” I’m a candy maker by trade though so... 🤗 Might have picked these up from Chef.

[@aneesamack7255]

Jumping Johosaphat. *Jumps* calm down Johosaphat, both feet on the ground J-ho, J-ho. Deep breath J-ho. The best part😂😂😂😂

[@reginaturner8705]

My grandmother says, "Oh fig leaves!" ☺💕

[@TrapperCreek]

I was at work and wasn't actually working but I was laughing so hard I got caught not doing anything, so I showed them and now they are laughing too🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@ryah6943]

You forgot one(from the elf movie) “I’m a cotton-headed ninny muggins “

[@hockeyislife2]

Son of a Nut Cracker

[@Armitage112a]

"Son of a...gun! Gosh Almighty! Cheese and crackers!"--from the highly-underrated film "Oscar" (1991), where Sylvester Stallone is a frustrated 30's gangster walking past a priest.

[@denisemayosky1955]

Good gollies, Miss Molly's!"

[@meghanrye8647]

Mother, father, sister brother!! 😂😂 Holy SPIRIT! I used those words at work... heard them from my Christian boss

[@ruthashe9840]

I just saw your post. It's funny. I used to cuss a lot when me kids were little. Till the pre-k school called me in because my 3yr old was using them. So I came up with Jimmynee crickets and Jimmynee freakn crickets and all is blooming merry men. That worked till he started 1st grade. After about 3months the school called me in to talk about my son. When I get there I am met by the teacher, the The principal the school counselor and the 504 department. They now want to talk to me because my son is saying Jimmy crickets like it's a bad word and they're concerned over his mental status. That meeting lasted all of 10 minutes... My response to that was prique want him to use non curse words for being upset... What do you want him to use? They told me not curse words that made sense... So I sounded like a sailor for 10 minutes and asked them which one of those words they preferred... After that they said they would take jiminy crickets and apologized for wasting my time.

[@senecamorton7242]

I have no idea why I'm just now finding this video. He is hilarious!! His commentary and accents made me die of laughter.