Tim Hawkins - Men & Women Text Differently

[@theclownsystem9429]

My absolute favorite comedian! Hilarious without being obnoxiously perverted or dirty.

[@danceswithcarsdc]

But I like perverted, dirty... Oh, kid, religion friendly /Wanders off to listen to DeTachAble Penis

[@annettedorman7377]

Right

[@cjhoward409]

It’s so true ! 😂😂😂 My husband texts 1-3 word sentences and I text full on paragraphs

[@thomasschwarting5108]

My sisters and me, I can relate!!

[@womanofchangeministries702]

Yup 😂

[@edmpages]

As a woman, I am guilty of both. I can be very wordy and long-winded in a text, but also read someone else's text (long or short) and just be like 'k' back to them 😆

[@Cyberfender1]

I do that too. Sometimes I respond kk. But sometimes I have have been know( by my wife and other poor individuals I send to) to text them Library of Congress/War And Peace. Clearly a wrong application of this media. Apologies to all.😬

[@DivaDelgado128]

That's my son. I pour out how much I love him....texts back K. 😑

[@danceswithcarsdc]

Yes ma'am No excuse

[@DivaDelgado128]

@@danceswithcarsdc he's lucky he's cute 😍

[@danceswithcarsdc]

@@DivaDelgado128 they're made cute so you don't kill them, some things they do, especially when start driving (Fwiw we lost a teen at the local h.s. OD, teach / get trained on narcan etc like CPR may save a life 🧬 May be someone you care about or know of, pandemic v. Epidemic...) /StepsOffSoapBox

[@lindalape8493]

Recently found Tim Hawkins. LOVE his comedy!!!!! Telling everyone I know.

[@Kjoyful419]

Now I need to reevaluate my texts to my husband 🤣🤣🤣

[@kevrink5605]

The cricket's name was Jiminy. Geppetto was the man that made Pinocchio

[@pastorofmuppets8834]

That distracted me from the rest of the clip!

[@Daniel_B_23]

@@pastorofmuppets8834yep me too! 💯

[@troykelso]

*who made

[@kevrink5605]

@@troykelso same difference

[@kimfitzsimons1931]

He SAID Geppetto was the only name he could come up with for a cricket name. He wasn't referring to the pinnokeo story.

[@laurierose1293]

Im a woman and text briefly but have a friend (a woman) that texts novels. It is SO EXHAUSTING!!!!!!

[@Paige-Turnner]

Same here!! I feel like I'm being held hostage if I don't read every word and respond accordingly 😭

[@BlankCanvas88]

I'm a woman and had a male college buddy who moved to another country, so we kept in touch through emails. Our last email exchange, he laughed at how I didn't need to send him a "novel" every time I emailed him. As I said, it was the LAST email exchange. Look, it's either novel or nothing, take it or leave it. 😄 (Yeah, yeah, I'm still a little salty about it. Probably should work on forgiveness, lol. But he's married now anyways, so no need to be emailing him anyway.)

[@rachelgarcia4301]

A friend once taught me that less is better. I try to remember.

[@jeanettepearson4210]

Mine always turn out to be a essay topic so long you could publish it. My friend gets so sleepy reading my texts, she's like I'm just gonna call you on the phone like the olden days 📞😁🤭

[@KhanGarth]

I text “K” in response to my wife all the time 🤣

[@joshuaburba1048]

What makes him so funny is the truth of it. That exact thing happened recently between my wife and I. She texted this long list of complaints, and I said, "okay." I swear Tim is spot on here.

[@smc1942]

I rarely text. For me, a conversation means talking, not typing. Calling. Not texting. You have a phone, and my number is in it, so just call. It takes me ten minutes to type what I could say in five seconds. (Yes, I'm aware of the irony in this statement.)

[@Musiclvr3]

Exactly!! Phone calls are SO much easier then texting, hands down!!!!

[@TILENFABE]

What irony??

[@brendas5557]

lol 😊I’m so glad I saw this. I tend to rattle on & on texting. My brother would send back a one word & no more than 2 word responses. All this time I thought he must have been upset with me. lol.

[@empoytekyo6981]

women also complain about the exact same thing to us men. they take their time typing all those words while we just respond not with 1 word, but with a letter.

[@danceswithcarsdc]

Women it's all about the relationship Will he leave when i'm pregnant My ankles swollen Get fat Old Yada Yada Yada Guys, I'd still do her /Ducks 🦆 After starting WW3

[@Paige-Turnner]

Or an emoji 😂

[@gingerstoudt6978]

This is the truth, period!!! 🤣 ✔

[@danceswithcarsdc]

You wanna talk about periods Go to Chick 🐥 🐣 Comedy but wonder what Hawkins could do... Hmmm 🤔

[@thomasschwarting5108]

My sisters do the SAME THING. I can relate!!

[@spconrad9612]

Probably my favorite comedian.

[@julielindforsrn270]

When you mentioned Geppetto I remembered my high school etiquette teacher Ms Burke. with the most Prim and proper wonderfully sounding German accent, when proclaim, “Jiminy Crickets” (at this point I’m not sure if that’s a Catholic cuss word or Southern California cuss word. but after fart knocker, I had to tell you this one. my mother died about a decade ago, but before her stroke the strongest term I ever heard her use when someone cut her off driving she would call them a, “FART BLOSSOM” since both my folks were native Texans, I’m fairly certain that’s where that one originated, if not with her alone LOL😊

[@evage99]

Ok "fart blossom" has me crying, I'm gonna steal it

[@mariantreber8055]

Schools, today, could surely use "an etiquette teacher"!! Was that a whole class or was it in called something else?

[@rachelgarcia4301]

Grow up

[@juliel7064]

@@rachelgarcia4301 That was harsh are you having a bad day? Bless your heart.

[@juliel7064]

@@mariantreber8055 I went to a Catholic college prep academy for girls in the 70's. I would at least like to see it offered as an elective and should include cotillion

[@janetdolman7843]

My sister texes like a woman. I text like a man. Short and sweet.

[@danceswithcarsdc]

K LoL 🙃😹😼😾

[@samuraijedi1669]

Imagine if women texted like men & men like women. Phone conversation would never be the same again. 😅

[@mmabagain]

Opposite for me. I text my wife “Hi honey, how’s it going?” If my wife even answers, it is “good”.

[@joshstucki4349]

The best part of being a man is the "nothing" box. :)

[@flkayak5613]

Mark Gungor is great to.

[@heavenlee4117]

Yes. Pop psychology calls it "mindfulness" or "being present in the moment". Truth is, those are just fancy ways to say "nothing box" 😂.

[@sarahberkner]

I think it depends on personality, I would never go into detail how I'm doing and I take after my dad more.

[@amywhigham4790]

So hilarious! 😆😅 Although, I don't text a lot but it veries and depends on who I text to! 🥰

[@bmom3191]

You are just so hilarious! I wish you would come to NY!

[@datanknation4645]

He is in Buffalo 15th of April in the chapel church

[@Xaforn]

😂 he’s never met my bf, man the guy can out text me in paragraphs…..like he’s rewriting his college thesis papers 😂. As for my dad it’s usually two letters; Ty, ok, etc.

[@papabrtrk]

😂👍So true! Ask a simple question and get a discourse in return!

[@StephanieMT]

Maybe its because she knows youll read the text but wont listen when she actaully talks to you

[@heavenlee4117]

Oof

[@woody5476]

My wife gets offended when I only text back "ok."

[@zacharysiple629]

"Okay, that sounds good to me." That may fly better. :)

[@chrismellon127]

Spot on!!!!

[@joebob344]

As a man I've always texted a sentence or two. Nothing crazy. My ex wife always respnded with k. Hated that. Not even a capital K! Minimal effort. No respect. Notice how I said ex wife. Lol

[@loriforges6304]

If you don't want to know don't ask

[@Nonnie335]

The accuracy 😂

[@madbrowniac7871]

Here is how that I have changed. I used to think that "Text" was only a Noun as in Book or the dreaded "Novel!"😂🤣😂📱📚B.W.

[@Paige-Turnner]

Im a woman and text like a man then 🤣 My friend writes books to me and im like, "yep"

[@dawnjohnson8739]

Well, he asked and she answered. What was she supposed to do?

[@gabriellerussell8484]

I have been known to text novels. 😂 I have (twice) sent messages so long that when you click expand it’s not even in a word bubble anymore. It’s just a white page full of text. 😅

[@GiraffeNana]

He's so funny, AND he's got a great singing voice! OOPS! That's too many words😂

[@OBXDewey]

I text "OK", too. I may not read the novel I was sent. I'll just say, "OK." She'll tell me about it again anyway. If I get accused of not reading it I say,"OK."

[@erinmiles3083]

It's not geppetto That was Pinocchio's father You're thinking Jiminy cricket 🤣

[@texancuber]

That’s totally true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@jeffmuller1489]

Forgot to mention all the emojis and animated gifs women send.. 😁❤️😘😂

[@Manperor]

im wheezing

[@michsims123]

So funny! Though I tease hubby for writing the essay long texts, and I do the one word response! He should be able to read mind right??

[@danceswithcarsdc]

Was it in the vows That he tries?

[@TheHKdan]

38-year-old husband right here🙋🏻‍♂️: according to this, I text like the wife…😐

[@danceswithcarsdc]

Sad but true here too My much abridged version

[@daimpressionz6248]

Same here, I actually put thought and effort into texts😶😂 ….personally, I like to think more depth and effort in texts equals the fact you’re not a shallow person🙂 plus, emojis go a long way to show that you’re not actually giving a cold tone. Those that don’t know what I mean, lemme give an example. Which shows depth and effort vs the few word texts: “Hey (insert name)! How have you been today?? 🤗🤗Would you like to walk me through it at all??🤗🤗🤗” VS “Sup, how’s life?” “Fine” “How was your day?” “Decent” Etc etc Those who took the time to read this….congrats on your quick tutorial on how to not be shallow I guess?🤣 if you’re offended, I’m sorry, but it’s the truth that texts without depth or hardly enough effort just seem really shallow and cold and dim.

[@InDirectDiana]

Lol! So does my husband. He'll ask, how's your day? Did you sleep well? Are the kids behaving? Me: good, idk, yes.

[@anncoleman629]

When are you coming to Southern California again?

[@alg375]

😂😂😂 so true!! Lol

[@mercymfula9728]

You asked😁😁

[@PaganSkye]

Haha this is true

[@BibleSamurai]

So I'm not alone. My wife's texts me a Book 😭

[@lenbuckholtz2740]

yeah

[@bradrushing5959]

Later, I say to him, " I don't think you even read my texts." ~ I've watched my husband scroll through Facebook. He rarely comments or likes , just scrolls. He will right on past MY POSTS. He doesn't even notice they were mine.😄 ~ Heather ~

[@evage99]

My husband 'liked' a meme I shared on FB, then sent it to me via messenger, because he didn't look to see who'd posted it... 😂 I gave him enough heck over it that he hasn't done it since.

[@bertblue9683]

My girls freak out when I reply to them "K"

[@Upthetown57]

Idk if it's just cause I like her so much but I text wayy more like his wife when I text my crush. But she does text pretty much the same way he's right there

[@patrickgallagher9069]

Why hasn't Tim Hawkins been on Dry Bar Comedy?

[@coxde234]

When are you coming to the land down under....Australia.

[@AmandaGresham-mw9gn]

Lol😂

[@AkonFenty1992]

LMAO

[@Evenmoresteven]

Ummm, that was an incredibly short text compared to my wife's. I'm talking full on novels my friends....

[@54Fighting]

OK!

[@Matt02341]

Plot twist: his wife is addicted to cocaine and her chiropractor is her supplier

[@rachelgarcia4301]

My brother can be wordy when he waxes philosophical.

[@beccalove8791]

Hahahaha

[@jasonhamilton6362]

😂

[@uknowitliberty6373]

Hee, hee

[@danceswithcarsdc]

Filed for divorce based on reading text to audience/ YOUTube

[@kennedypoi503]

Hawkins hashtags

[@Brigand231]

It's funny cuz it's true!

[@danceswithcarsdc]

Nuh uhhh ...---... Blows out your buffer Like texting had a Twitter limit

[@prestongower7800]

HAHAHA FIRST I LOVE TIM HE'S HILARIOUS AS FUCK

[@AmericanIdiotPolitics]

fr

[@annep.1905]

Nah, the biggest difference is the use of emojis.

[@HPTFan]

xD

[@johnnyllooddte3415]

i dont text

[@TeaPourSixFour]

B r i l l i a n t 🎉😂😂😂

[@trekkie-cat]

Im a woman and text like man. I see no point in saying extraneous words!

[@BakeaNewDawn]

That was a short text from your wife, just saying 😂

[@waynesteffen3262]

Well, he did ask her how she was, so no sympathy here.

[@w.ryanbutler8097]

I mean....the phone screen is only so big. If you have to do ANY scrolling to read the entirety then the text is TOO LONG!!

[@mgm2008]

K 😂

[@Sidetrackification]

I k r.

[@penguinrea0088]

Jesus Loves everybody

[@Sarah-zj5xr]

Aaaand he’s divorced now just FYI for anyone taking notes 😂

[@bojiden]

Good comedian but he tries to hard

[@heavenlee4117]

He's just dramatic - that's his personality. Some comedians use dry humor, like understatement and subtlety. Others like him and Jim Carrey are dramatists.

[@knappdaddy]

“K” gets me in trouble !!!