Tim Hawkins - Men & Women Text Differently

[@theclownsystem9429]

My absolute favorite comedian! Hilarious without being obnoxiously perverted or dirty.

[@danceswithcarsdc]

But I like perverted, dirty... Oh, kid, religion friendly /Wanders off to listen to DeTachAble Penis

[@annettedorman7377]

Right

[@cjhoward409]

It’s so true ! 😂😂😂 My husband texts 1-3 word sentences and I text full on paragraphs

[@thomasschwarting5108]

My sisters and me, I can relate!!

[@womanofchangeministries702]

Yup 😂

[@CaseyCampbell17]

How does he respond to you?

[@lindalape8493]

Recently found Tim Hawkins. LOVE his comedy!!!!! Telling everyone I know.

[@edmpages]

As a woman, I am guilty of both. I can be very wordy and long-winded in a text, but also read someone else's text (long or short) and just be like 'k' back to them 😆

[@Cyberfender1]

I do that too. Sometimes I respond kk. But sometimes I have have been know( by my wife and other poor individuals I send to) to text them Library of Congress/War And Peace. Clearly a wrong application of this media. Apologies to all.😬

[@CaseyCampbell17]

@@Cyberfender1 Saying kk is fun.

[@Kjoyful419]

Now I need to reevaluate my texts to my husband 🤣🤣🤣

[@kevrink5605]

The cricket's name was Jiminy. Geppetto was the man that made Pinocchio

[@pastorofmuppets8834]

That distracted me from the rest of the clip!

[@Daniel_B_23]

@@pastorofmuppets8834yep me too! 💯

[@troykelso]

*who made

[@kevrink5605]

@@troykelso same difference

[@kimfitzsimons1931]

He SAID Geppetto was the only name he could come up with for a cricket name. He wasn't referring to the pinnokeo story.

[@DivaDelgado128]

That's my son. I pour out how much I love him....texts back K. 😑

[@danceswithcarsdc]

Yes ma'am No excuse

[@DivaDelgado128]

@@danceswithcarsdc he's lucky he's cute 😍

[@danceswithcarsdc]

@@DivaDelgado128 they're made cute so you don't kill them, some things they do, especially when start driving (Fwiw we lost a teen at the local h.s. OD, teach / get trained on narcan etc like CPR may save a life 🧬 May be someone you care about or know of, pandemic v. Epidemic...) /StepsOffSoapBox

[@CaseyCampbell17]

How do you even do that other than a lot? Haha.

[@KhanGarth]

I text “K” in response to my wife all the time 🤣

[@CaseyCampbell17]

She probably doesn't like it. Haha.

[@jeanettepearson4210]

Mine always turn out to be a essay topic so long you could publish it. My friend gets so sleepy reading my texts, she's like I'm just gonna call you on the phone like the olden days 📞😁🤭

[@CaseyCampbell17]

Nice.

[@spconrad9612]

Probably my favorite comedian.

[@joshuaburba1048]

What makes him so funny is the truth of it. That exact thing happened recently between my wife and I. She texted this long list of complaints, and I said, "okay." I swear Tim is spot on here.

[@CaseyCampbell17]

What did she say when you said okay? Haha.

[@joshuaburba1048]

@CaseyCampbell17 I don't remember. I wrote that comment a year ago. Who knows? Sorry I can't be more helpful.

[@brendas5557]

lol 😊I’m so glad I saw this. I tend to rattle on & on texting. My brother would send back a one word & no more than 2 word responses. All this time I thought he must have been upset with me. lol.

[@julielindforsrn270]

When you mentioned Geppetto I remembered my high school etiquette teacher Ms Burke. with the most Prim and proper wonderfully sounding German accent, when proclaim, “Jiminy Crickets” (at this point I’m not sure if that’s a Catholic cuss word or Southern California cuss word. but after fart knocker, I had to tell you this one. my mother died about a decade ago, but before her stroke the strongest term I ever heard her use when someone cut her off driving she would call them a, “FART BLOSSOM” since both my folks were native Texans, I’m fairly certain that’s where that one originated, if not with her alone LOL😊

[@evage99]

Ok "fart blossom" has me crying, I'm gonna steal it

[@mariantreber8055]

Schools, today, could surely use "an etiquette teacher"!! Was that a whole class or was it in called something else?

[@rachelgarcia4301]

Grow up

[@juliel7064]

@@rachelgarcia4301 That was harsh are you having a bad day? Bless your heart.

[@juliel7064]

@@mariantreber8055 I went to a Catholic college prep academy for girls in the 70's. I would at least like to see it offered as an elective and should include cotillion

[@GiraffeNana]

He's so funny, AND he's got a great singing voice! OOPS! That's too many words😂

[@laurierose1293]

Im a woman and text briefly but have a friend (a woman) that texts novels. It is SO EXHAUSTING!!!!!!

[@Paige-Turnner]

Same here!! I feel like I'm being held hostage if I don't read every word and respond accordingly 😭

[@empoytekyo6981]

women also complain about the exact same thing to us men. they take their time typing all those words while we just respond not with 1 word, but with a letter.

[@danceswithcarsdc]

Women it's all about the relationship Will he leave when i'm pregnant My ankles swollen Get fat Old Yada Yada Yada Guys, I'd still do her /Ducks 🦆 After starting WW3

[@Paige-Turnner]

Or an emoji 😂

[@gingerstoudt6978]

This is the truth, period!!! 🤣 ✔

[@danceswithcarsdc]

You wanna talk about periods Go to Chick 🐥 🐣 Comedy but wonder what Hawkins could do... Hmmm 🤔

[@thomasschwarting5108]

My sisters do the SAME THING. I can relate!!

[@amywhigham4790]

So hilarious! 😆😅 Although, I don't text a lot but it veries and depends on who I text to! 🥰

[@kilgoretrout321]

Sometimes a relationship gets to that point where it's hard to find the time to say the big things you want to say to a person, and for some reason texting feels like a great forum for putting it ALLLLLLLLLLLL out there. Ironically, when you stop the giant word splurges, the other person gets anxious and after a while will dramatically ask in some form, "why don't you love me anymore?" So there's a lot of nonverbal stuff going on.

[@BlankCanvas88]

I'm a woman and had a male college buddy who moved to another country, so we kept in touch through emails. Our last email exchange, he laughed at how I didn't need to send him a "novel" every time I emailed him. As I said, it was the LAST email exchange. Look, it's either novel or nothing, take it or leave it. 😄 (Yeah, yeah, I'm still a little salty about it. Probably should work on forgiveness, lol. But he's married now anyways, so no need to be emailing him anyway.)

[@rachelgarcia4301]

A friend once taught me that less is better. I try to remember.

[@papabrtrk]

😂👍So true! Ask a simple question and get a discourse in return!

[@mmabagain]

Opposite for me. I text my wife “Hi honey, how’s it going?” If my wife even answers, it is “good”.

[@chrismellon127]

Spot on!!!!

[@bmom3191]

You are just so hilarious! I wish you would come to NY!

[@datanknation4645]

He is in Buffalo 15th of April in the chapel church

[@sarahberkner]

I think it depends on personality, I would never go into detail how I'm doing and I take after my dad more.

[@samuraijedi1669]

Imagine if women texted like men & men like women. Phone conversation would never be the same again. 😅

[@madbrowniac7871]

Here is how that I have changed. I used to think that "Text" was only a Noun as in Book or the dreaded "Novel!"😂🤣😂📱📚B.W.

[@StephanieMT]

Maybe its because she knows youll read the text but wont listen when she actaully talks to you

[@heavenlee4117]

Oof

[@Nonnie335]

The accuracy 😂

[@joshstucki4349]

The best part of being a man is the "nothing" box. :)

[@flkayak5613]

Mark Gungor is great to.

[@heavenlee4117]

Yes. Pop psychology calls it "mindfulness" or "being present in the moment". Truth is, those are just fancy ways to say "nothing box" 😂.

[@smc1942]

I rarely text. For me, a conversation means talking, not typing. Calling. Not texting. You have a phone, and my number is in it, so just call. It takes me ten minutes to type what I could say in five seconds. (Yes, I'm aware of the irony in this statement.)

[@Musiclvr3]

Exactly!! Phone calls are SO much easier then texting, hands down!!!!

[@TILENFABE]

What irony??

[@CaseyCampbell17]

@@TILENFABE Taking 10 minutes to type what you could say in 5 seconds, bc if you could say it in 5 seconds, normally you should be able to type it fast.

[@woody5476]

My wife gets offended when I only text back "ok."

[@zacharysiple629]

"Okay, that sounds good to me." That may fly better. :)

[@texancuber]

That’s totally true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@jeffmuller1489]

Forgot to mention all the emojis and animated gifs women send.. 😁❤️😘😂

[@loriforges6304]

If you don't want to know don't ask

[@erinmiles3083]

It's not geppetto That was Pinocchio's father You're thinking Jiminy cricket 🤣

[@dawnjohnson8739]

Well, he asked and she answered. What was she supposed to do?

[@Xaforn]

😂 he’s never met my bf, man the guy can out text me in paragraphs…..like he’s rewriting his college thesis papers 😂. As for my dad it’s usually two letters; Ty, ok, etc.

[@CaseyCampbell17]

Is him out texting you fun?

[@AMora-i7i]

Lol it sounds like he didn't actually want to hear how she was doing, he just wanted her to say "good"

[@janetdolman7843]

My sister texes like a woman. I text like a man. Short and sweet.

[@danceswithcarsdc]

K LoL 🙃😹😼😾

[@kkmas45]

Is this on one of your albums? Which one?

[@BeefbrothHD3L]

im wheezing

[@alg375]

😂😂😂 so true!! Lol

[@gabriellerussell8484]

I have been known to text novels. 😂 I have (twice) sent messages so long that when you click expand it’s not even in a word bubble anymore. It’s just a white page full of text. 😅

[@CaseyCampbell17]

In a word bubble??? What do you mean?

[@lenbuckholtz2740]

yeah

[@anncoleman629]

When are you coming to Southern California again?

[@joebob344]

As a man I've always texted a sentence or two. Nothing crazy. My ex wife always respnded with k. Hated that. Not even a capital K! Minimal effort. No respect. Notice how I said ex wife. Lol

[@CaseyCampbell17]

Hopefully it was over more than just that. Haha.

[@Paige-Turnner]

Im a woman and text like a man then 🤣 My friend writes books to me and im like, "yep"

[@PaganSkye]

Haha this is true

[@michsims123]

So funny! Though I tease hubby for writing the essay long texts, and I do the one word response! He should be able to read mind right??

[@danceswithcarsdc]

Was it in the vows That he tries?

[@OBXDewey]

I text "OK", too. I may not read the novel I was sent. I'll just say, "OK." She'll tell me about it again anyway. If I get accused of not reading it I say,"OK."

[@BibleSamurai]

So I'm not alone. My wife's texts me a Book 😭

[@TheHKdan]

38-year-old husband right here🙋🏻‍♂️: according to this, I text like the wife…😐

[@danceswithcarsdc]

Sad but true here too My much abridged version

[@daimpressionz6248]

Same here, I actually put thought and effort into texts😶😂 ….personally, I like to think more depth and effort in texts equals the fact you’re not a shallow person🙂 plus, emojis go a long way to show that you’re not actually giving a cold tone. Those that don’t know what I mean, lemme give an example. Which shows depth and effort vs the few word texts: “Hey (insert name)! How have you been today?? 🤗🤗Would you like to walk me through it at all??🤗🤗🤗” VS “Sup, how’s life?” “Fine” “How was your day?” “Decent” Etc etc Those who took the time to read this….congrats on your quick tutorial on how to not be shallow I guess?🤣 if you’re offended, I’m sorry, but it’s the truth that texts without depth or hardly enough effort just seem really shallow and cold and dim.

[@InDirectDiana]

Lol! So does my husband. He'll ask, how's your day? Did you sleep well? Are the kids behaving? Me: good, idk, yes.

[@mercymfula9728]

You asked😁😁

[@Upthetown57]

Idk if it's just cause I like her so much but I text wayy more like his wife when I text my crush. But she does text pretty much the same way he's right there

[@AmandaGresham-mw9gn]

Lol😂

[@bertblue9683]

My girls freak out when I reply to them "K"

[@coxde234]

When are you coming to the land down under....Australia.

[@patrickgallagher9069]

Why hasn't Tim Hawkins been on Dry Bar Comedy?

[@bradrushing5959]

Later, I say to him, " I don't think you even read my texts." ~ I've watched my husband scroll through Facebook. He rarely comments or likes , just scrolls. He will right on past MY POSTS. He doesn't even notice they were mine.😄 ~ Heather ~

[@evage99]

My husband 'liked' a meme I shared on FB, then sent it to me via messenger, because he didn't look to see who'd posted it... 😂 I gave him enough heck over it that he hasn't done it since.

[@AkonFenty1992]

LMAO

[@54Fighting]

OK!

[@Evenmoresteven]

Ummm, that was an incredibly short text compared to my wife's. I'm talking full on novels my friends....

[@rachelgarcia4301]

My brother can be wordy when he waxes philosophical.

[@toddgilmore118]

Even Jesus would have laughed at this!!

[@keisouP]

I'm guilty 😭 (girl)

[@danceswithcarsdc]

Filed for divorce based on reading text to audience/ YOUTube

[@TeaPourSixFour]

B r i l l i a n t 🎉😂😂😂

[@Vggincidently]

Plot twist: his wife is addicted to cocaine and her chiropractor is her supplier

[@kennedypoi503]

Hawkins hashtags

[@prestongower7800]

HAHAHA FIRST I LOVE TIM HE'S HILARIOUS AS FUCK

[@AmericanIdiotPolitics]

fr

[@beccalove8791]

Hahahaha

[@annep.1905]

Nah, the biggest difference is the use of emojis.

[@Brigand231]

It's funny cuz it's true!

[@danceswithcarsdc]

Nuh uhhh ...---... Blows out your buffer Like texting had a Twitter limit

[@fionaj77]

Im a woman and text like man. I see no point in saying extraneous words!

[@johnnyllooddte3415]

i dont text

[@uknowitliberty6373]

Hee, hee

[@BakeaNewDawn]

That was a short text from your wife, just saying 😂

[@HPTFan]

xD

[@w.ryanbutler8097]

I mean....the phone screen is only so big. If you have to do ANY scrolling to read the entirety then the text is TOO LONG!!

[@waynesteffen3262]

Well, he did ask her how she was, so no sympathy here.

[@Sarah-zj5xr]

Aaaand he’s divorced now just FYI for anyone taking notes 😂

[@mgm2008]

K 😂

[@penguinrea0088]

Jesus Loves everybody

[@Sidetrackification]

I k r.

[@bojiden]

Good comedian but he tries to hard

[@heavenlee4117]

He's just dramatic - that's his personality. Some comedians use dry humor, like understatement and subtlety. Others like him and Jim Carrey are dramatists.

[@knappdaddy]

“K” gets me in trouble !!!