Alzheimer’s and Dementia Changed My Life : Debra Tells the Whole Story

If you feel like you are all alone, if you can't get the answers you need from the Drs office for how to help your Loved One, then you are right the right place.
Debra has shown hundreds of people struggling, just like you, how to get their life back. How to get their loved one to calm down and get RESULTS!
With over 2 decades of experience, Debra has proven scripts and techniques that are as simple as 1-2-3. She will take you by the hand every step of the way and you WILL get your relationship back on track.
If you are accepted into Debra's classes, you will be guaranteed to be happy with the results. Students report seeing a change after the FIRST class!
To apply for this unique, one of a kind class, go to www.answersaboutalz.org and book a call.
EVERY class is a sell out.
Don't Delay! Your sanity depends on it.
Visit www.answersaboutalz.org for your 2 FREE downloads-
#1. Understanding Different Dementias. A Pdf of dementia symptoms, life experiences.
#2 Activities for Every stage. A Pdf with ideas for activities for those with dementia.
Get the help you need with Debra's Best Selling book, Forget Me Not, the number one guide for family and professional caregivers.
www.amazon.com/Forget-Not-Alz...
1:1 Coaching live with Debra.
Book a call at:
calendly.com/debradementia/cm...
Take the Certified Master Dementia Strategist.
Become a Dementia expert!
To learn more visit
www.answersaboutalz.org
The story presented in the video is nothing short of a tragedy and if you are someone who is easily disturbed by stories of elder abuse, then we advise that you do exercise caution with this video. Today we would like to share with you a story that is deeply real and extremely personal to Debra: the story of her mother’s passing. Debra’s mother began her battle with Alzheimer’s disease twenty years ago and for most of that time she lived in a comfortable and loving environment. As a professional home care provider and dementia trainer, Debra had more knowledge and resources available to her than most, but it did little to stop her brother’s abuse and manipulation of their aging and mentally declining mother. Caring for someone with Alzheimer’s is one thing, a turbulent family situation is another. As you watch this story, we hope it serves as a reminder that Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia are a struggle for everyone, no matter who you are.
If you or someone you know is struggling in the effort to give your loved one with dementia the support they need, please reach out to us as soon as possible. We are more than willing to provide one on one consultations. Don’t wait. Don’t set yourself up for regret.
Website:
answersaboutalz.org
Debra’s Book “Forget Me Not”:
www.amazon.com/Forget-Not-Alz...
Schedule a Meeting with Debra: calendly.com/debradementia

[@onefreelife]

Family arent always your loved ones. I know this from experience

[@valeriekehrt7566]

Sad but true.

[@hopeful6157]

YES WE KNOW ALL ABOUT THIS FROM HORRID INLAWS WE ARE SURE TO AVOID AS MUCH AS WE CAN 💯 MY HUSBAND SAIS THEY ARE USERS WHO USED HIM AND WONT EVEN HELP HIM WHEN HE NEEDED HELP, DEFINITELY NOT FAMILY, ITS CALLED TOXIC RELATIVES

[@reg8297]

Demons more like

[@barbarayork3675]

So very true!😣

[@mourningwarblers5863]

And probate courts are never your friend. 😢

[@ML-sy3bn]

I'll say this to anyone believing that the elderly have no value in life "Just wait, you'll be old one day".

[@francescatimpano3470]

Yes absolutely, and everyone should get what they dished out. We lived through 5 years of caring for mum with dementia. My sister and l split the week. The whole family was present when she took her last breath.

[@anasazirose]

We've already told our adult kids that we will NOT live with them or allow them to be our caregivers.

[@carolynnmathisen8754]

Dearest lady, it’s not unusual for health professionals to not see what is happening in front of us. I’m a nurse practitioner with many years experience. I cared for my husband, new onset type 1 diabetes, Parkinson’s, renal failure. Until after his death I did not recognize the extent of his cognitive decline. I was so busy working and caring for him to really see. Please be kind to yourself

[@salauerman7082]

Is renal failure common with Parkinson’s?

[@Goofygoose494]

They more prone to urinary tract infection due to mobility

[@mammadingo9165]

My nanna 😢 she needed more care than she would accept. We're forever left feeling like we should have done more she passed at 78 years old septic shock from urine infection. I really miss her

[@sherrywoodard8562]

I took care of my mom for months - but I had no peace ! She was up wandering all night -- she kept falling and I’d have to call to get someone over here to help me get her up. She hated bathing or showering or having her hair washed - that was every three days . I’ve never felt crazier! And she fell and broke her arm and couldn’t pick up a spoon. My health was declining because I was so stressed and sick to my stomach - finally my younger sisters found an assisted living and came and got her . In time she loved it there and never wanted to leave. My younger sister is in the same assisted living she found for our mom - she hates us all for not wanting her to love with us . We are pushing 80 - we can hardly take care of ourselves . And the younger I sisters still have jobs and kids and a husband who doesn’t want the chaos . This sister was a home he’s,the aid forever and recommended to families that they needed to put their parents in a place where they’d get more care?! This sister is really rude to us now and kicks and slaps at us when we try and visit . I have to stay away from her - there no reasoning with her . We can’t help her -

[@marychoo]

@@sherrywoodard8562

[@user-pz7vl1pu9f]

I was 30 when my beloved mother got dementia. her disease almost killed me. Give yourself a break. I am lucky yo be alive today. That disease takes so much from the care takers

[@Susyt40]

Omg…..I am shaking right now. Why? Because this is SO much like what I went through with my mother. The dementia, the brother who was mentally ill and had weapons galore. The wife of his, also mentally ill. The isolation and neglect of my mother. HOW could this be? I was able to do the dash and grab only because she was MISSING and my brother panicked. It was AFTER this that I discovered the financial, physical and emotional abuse that she had been subjected to. I was able to file charges. The DA in my county was thankfully very much understanding about what had happened. My brother went to jail and I was able to care for my mother in the last two years of her life, thank God. These events have traumatized me for life. It is high time that EVERY state adopt measures to deter family members from doing this and make them accountable. The money was gone. He would never be able to pay that back, but I was glad he was held accountable.

[@dixiewade8373]

Hint: The "mentally ill" is an excuse for their chosen behavior. Vicious liars and thieves.

[@SheezaPI]

my nephew more or less killed my aunt, (aged 97 and still living on her own, and sharp as a tack.) via covid. Similar story. He told her the devil was telling her not to hug her son, and purposefully went over there sick with Delta variant. Being her medical power of attorney, he was able to demand they remove the life support. His wife was the head nurse at the hospital and she banned everyone from hospital. When she was taken off oxygen I was the phone with her and she cried out “give me back the oxygen, I know what you’re trying do to me.” The nurse on duty, took the oxygen off and said they had to call and get permission from her son to put it back on.” It was horrific. For over 12 hours we didn’t know if she was still alive. Finally when she was dead, he claimed she had no will, I knew better. He didn’t even tell anyone any details of funeral or anything. I knew the funeral home and kept checking online and if I hadn’t been, no one would have even known anything. A month after her death a tornado hit her property and tore everything up. Karma. Now he is losing everything as well. It’s a huge mess. I was supposed to be her executor but without the will there was nothing legal I could do. They all looked to me to straighten it all out, but I couldn’t.

[@Susyt40]

@@SheezaPI I am so sorry you had to go through it and I know that these are things that will be there with us for LIFE. I feel guilty because I didn’t know and my Mom’s situation happened right under my nose!

[@catherinecostanza8904]

I am a retired caretaker and have seen abuse on both sides, some times at the same time. You do the best you can. Love and prayers sent.

[@deborahadcock978]

I know how you feel and I’m so sorry.In my case it was my sister not my brother.My story would be far too long to share.This stuff continues to happen far too often.

[@jaesawyer2206]

I currently live with my 89yr old mother. I'm 60yrs old. I can't even imagine the pain and suffering, and regret your loss has done. Thank you for telling your story. Please know you did your best. You can't control others. Thank you again. God bless you!

[@christineplaton3048]

Elder abuse is very common. I have worked in geriatrics, and heard many heart breaking stories in the nursing home. Financial abuse is quite common, as described here. It happened in my family too. The baby boomer generation has to stay as healthy and vibrant as possible. We need to plan for our latter years. Sharing a duplex is one way to retain privacy yet have close proximity to others. Nursing homes are prohibitively expensive. The family loses everything. Having safe, honest, caregivers is a challenge. The time to downsize and plan for the last trimester of life is ideally in our fifties. This testimony was so sad to hear. When we are threatened there are warnings. We must heed the warnings and avoid dangers when possible. Its so difficult to have tug of war over a family member. Its a complex situation and here is an example noone should have to go through. Thank you so very much for having the spunk, and desire to share the truth. May your Mom Rest in Peace. From WNY too...

[@yeetnama9094]

Ha! Babu boomer generation are the biggest perpetrators of elder abuse and greed. Grandchildren not seeing a single penny of mutual inheritances as the BOOMERS hoarded and spent it all

[@tinaricard8650]

If she had dementia then how come she was so cognitive to calling you and her friends as often as she did and reiterating what's happened?

[@carlasamuels479]

​@@tinaricard8650my mom also has alz some days her memory is pretty good and some days it's very bad ....it does go up & down in my experience as well

[@ivanleelivingston4902]

IF, you rob a corner store for 20 dollars the Police will look for your for 20 years.But, my brother stole 500,000. from dying parents and no one cares. If I complained then the others would get angry at the truth teller.

[@ginagray603]

Yes, my mom and myself were best friends 60 years, she developed alz/dementia and she fought me to go be with my sister that never cared for her. I fought to keep mom in my possession and I took care of her, sometimes against her will, but I took care of her because I cared for her. It was not easy on me but I did it and it was best for her, not best for me.

[@embr4065]

My husband is a paramedic, and he sees lots of things. Some of the stories he tells me lead me to believe this is not as uncommon as we think it is. So sad.

[@helenhodge1949]

Unfortunately true, I have a similar experience 😢

[@JenWIL641]

He could have contacted adult protective services.

[@ellerichardson1094]

​@@JenWIL641 don't mean anything would be done 😢

[@teresaknoke4237]

As a RN who has worked in hospice, long term care, and behavioral health, I can attest to the fact that this is extremely common. Not just for people with dementia - but for people with severe chronic mental illness as well.

[@Beverly2020]

My grandson (firefighter/paramedic) says the same 😢

[@ryder389]

I came here from TikTok. I didn’t expect to listen to this entire video and I didn’t expect to cry, but I did and I am. This story is absolutely heartbreaking and I am so sorry that you had to go through all of this. I don’t know how you heal from something like this, but I hope you are starting to heal. ❤❤❤❤❤

[@ACEDOGEMINEM]

I came from tiktok too and felt the same way and I'm still crying 😢 this broke my heart🤧

[@kristinekiel2866]

Me too!

[@paula-jillsorrel6367]

Me too came over from TikTok 😢😢😢😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔

[@answersaboutalzheimers]

Iam....I have more good days than bad and that's because of my followers, like you!

[@rosedagostino4153]

❤❤God bless you

[@marydlutes1792]

Yup. My brother told me he was going to bankrupt our mother so she could go to a state nursing home, and there was nothing I could do about it. He was THE Mental Health Care Professional (his description of himself), and I couldn't possibly know anything about this. He knew every attorney in the county, and I wouldn't get anywhere if I talked to them. This was after I talked to an elder law attorney. I just wanted to know how best to protect her as a vulnerable elder. My mother let him take care of her. She was a vulnerable old lady with Alheimers, and he was THE Golden Boy. I was just a run of the mill biochemist working in the pharmaceutical industry. He bought a horse in California and had it shipped to Michigan. Bought a 4 stall horse trailer with living quarters so he could take Mom camping all on her dime. I don't even know where her money and possessions went. There was a will, which we both had copies of. I was never informed if it changed, or was brother appointed our mother's Guardian, how her income was handled, were her taxes paid? She died in the facility where my brother was the CEO. It was a good place and she was safe there. However, my brother actions were always suspicious. He didn't speak to me for years. Because of this, with our mother, our Dad wanted me to take care of him. He had all the legal stuff in place. I went to all attorney, bank, doctor appts with him for years. After he was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia I was granted guardianship. I went through the court system. My brother was apprised of all proceedings every step of the way. Our father had live-in elder care companions the last 2 years of his life. He wasn't always happy about his situation, but he knew I had his best interests in mind all the time. His attorney told me I was the best Guardian he'd ever worked with, because I kept good records and was up front about everything. Your story is my story.

[@Lisa_BisaRN]

Such a sad story. So many people failed protecting this elderly, unwell woman. I'm sorry for the loss of your beloved Mother.

[@user-oo8ei4lj6s]

My mum also suffered. I was in a different country. There were 4 siblings left I thought they would stand up against the eldest one. But they were all scared of him but God is the ultimate judge.

[@glenysmcallister4904]

I think this is more common than realized. My brother was also an alcoholic and used drugs. Dad had left Mom a house that was mortgage free, as well a healthy bank account and a pension plan from an air line company. My brother also worked for that air line. Once Dad died, my brother moved into the house with his girlfriend and teenage daughter, within 3 months, not only did he have Mom buy a new car of his choice, he had Mom sign over the house to him as well as having Mom change the will, making in sole beneficiary. Never mind that they did not take Mom shopping , they also held onto her credit cards, and yes what pension Mom had coming in from the private plan and the government plan paid for the hydro, gas, and property taxes well as the everyday expenses such as food, and gas. Mom died penniless. My sister and I had to claim her body from the morgue. My brother committed suicide, and in the province of Quebec, and with him not having a will, the property automatically was given to his children, as per the Quebec laws. The 5 bedroom, two bath home that my father had built, ended up being taken over by the bank as the grandchildren could not afford to pay the property taxes.

[@MossyMeadowsFarm]

Oh my gosh. I’m so very sorry this situation happened to you.

[@Susyt40]

Oh my! Just heartbreaking. So sorry!

[@LC-pk4zz]

OMG, that is so awful. I'm so sorry.

[@blazefairchild465]

This made me cry ,I feel so sorry for your mom. I am elderly and spent 5 weeks in rehab last spring. I had intended to move from my apt to assisted living when rehab was finished. After my son saw the treatment I received in rehab ,he begged me to come stay with them instead of assisted living. I moved to a better rehab , but still they got my meds mixed up for 2 weeks. It is rough getting old people treat you poorly & while in the hospital & rehab in 5 weeks money was taken from my wallet. My son had a camera in my room , you would be surprised what goes on with elderly people.

[@carmelitabiffle5572]

One’s relatives can be our worst enemies.

[@veronicageist3453]

Came here from TiKToK. Honestly bawling my eyes out right now. I’m praying for you.😢💔

[@naomideleon8363]

I'm bawling my eyes 👀 😢😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

[@answersaboutalzheimers]

Thank you...

[@nancyvanzandt4488]

I hope your story is useful for other people to see the damages that people can do to her beloved elderly and friends. It’s very very brave of you to tell your story!! Thank you Debra

[@answersaboutalzheimers]

Thank you Nancy, I miss you much....

[@gingerlancaster3033]

Very brave and probably also heat wrenching. If it was me I'm not sure if I would still have a living brother. I'm sure u will always have regrets, but u did do what u felt u could do at the time, so try not to beat yourself up about it. It will eat u up like a cancer. Thank u for sharing

[@gingerlancaster3033]

Heart not heat, sorry

[@virginiastubenhofer7163]

Thank

[@debbiechambers4654]

⁠@@answersaboutalzheimersthank you for your story, I am going through a similar situation with my mum & narcissist twisted brother that hates me also & drip fed my mum poison every day/night while I had her living with me & my family so she would want to leave & the games he played with my mental health & miscarriages and so I put her in a taxi when she was adamant she wanted to go live with him, the next day he frogmarched her to the bank to take control of her money then she was put in a care home, i became suicidal because of my brother being so cruel that he would go to the lengths he did go to to get at me by putting our mother into a care home n visit her weekly, my mum was my world & that sick twisted bastard took me away from her & told her I am no good for her 😢, he has gaslighted me to family & so i have made sure I never let them look me in the eyes ever again & I have moved away & now care for my mother in law with dementia & my severely disabled brother in law which is tricky as mum & son are joined at the hip & they sit whispering and conspiring against my poor elderly father in law & often he attacks him because mum tells him lies on the sly, my mother in law has turned into my brother by drip feeding poison to cause maximum damage, sorry if I am not making sense but so much more to my story but don’t know where to start but I feel better listening to your story & relating to it instantly 💔🙏🏼🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿thank you

[@ladypamela8269]

God rest her soul. And may yours be healed. Thanks for making awareness

[@carleen2841]

My mother had Alzheimer’s. She began to really dislike me. She would bite me, and tried to strangle me a couple of times. She was sure I was trying to steal her husband (my father). It was Alzheimer’s not my Mom. I was an only child. You can’t change what happened. I hope you are able to let go of your bitterness for your own happiness. My family had no money, looks like that was a good thing.

[@janetpattison8474]

I worked for a huge hospice & abuse and neglect by family members of the Alzheimer’s pt. Is not uncommon. Most ppl don’t have the skills to give proper care as the pt declines, and it’s a very long,long road. I know one dementia pt. Was kept in a back room & neglected . Often a pt. Would be in the same brief that the hospice aide put on the pt. The day before, so that means 24 hrs w/o being changed. Even the very wealthy can ignore their loved one who had Alzheimer’s or dementia, and leave for the day, or in one case the wife, who was middle aged as was her husband w/ dementia, and the wife had h8, tied to his wheelchair for the entire day, while she worked. There are many more stories, but what was amazing is that hospice doesn’t like to report abuse or neglect at all. Because Then the family can kick hospice out, so there is even less care for the pt…. I’ve also been in many ALFs and nursing homes, and a lot of serious neglect goes on there as well, even in very high end facilities. In some cases, If family isn’t actively involved that is a very bad thing. Every pt needs an advocate.

[@tigerlily380]

I came here from Tik Tok. Experienced in working with Dementia patients in Eldercare center. It breaks my heart to hear your stories. I know it wasn’t easy to care for these people but there is an option rather than hurting them at home. Let alone to manipulate and mistreated them. These is no strangers. They should feel safe being around their loved ones. My prayers may JESUS heal you 💕🙏🙏

[@GabbysLife4Ever]

I saw you on TikTok. Thank you for spreading awareness with your story. I have had loved ones affected by dementia as well. So sorry for your loss. May your mother rest in peace now. Sending love and prayers to you and your family. ❤

[@beppiekielenstijn224]

Same for me. I'm following on TikTok. This is a shocking story nobody wants that to be done to a mother.

[@jennyalkaysi6069]

Me too following on TikTok my grandpa had the same problem and was very hard to watch this man slip away

[@julieh474]

I came here from Tic Toc & I am just shocked & heartbroken for you. My Dad had dementia & it was HARD. God bless & may she rest in peace.

[@Colby_914]

How heartbreaking. My mom has memory loss, and my aunt (her sister) has dementia. I can’t imagine anyone in our family caregivers ever treating them this way. Sending love and peace from Illinois. ❤️💔❤️

[@MsrKSDisque]

Oh man. ! How awful. I'm struggling with 2 of my brothers who are protecting my abusive father. Our mother has Alz. They are angry with me because I told my mother's memory Care MD about the hisory of abuse and I asked for info about resources who could help him take care of my mother. Eventually they were put in assisted living because he is dying of stage 4 prostate cancer. It has worked out, but it still bothers me that 50+ years of abuse has resulted in estrangement. Hopefully you will find peace helping other familues. Your tragic loss has given you the fire to help others. And we bless you for that.

[@answersaboutalzheimers]

Thank you kelly!

[@blackredwhiteandblue1440]

I was raised by my grandmother and when she started to decline in health family hurriedly moved her out of her home into her oldest daughter’s home, then daughter#3, then finally my mother…. The abuse and neglect was awful and led to me moving her out a few years later and her having to have an amputation, then heart attack and death…. Family is not always the best people in the world

[@giovannefiore8252]

My heart pours out in sympathy for you. My beloved mother passed away from dementia today aged 83. I am so devastated and don't know how I will carry on life without her

[@anabra874]

🫂

[@alexiswarren3735]

I'm so sorry for your loss 🙏🏾 🫂

[@kimburgess995]

Debbie to hear this heartbreaking story again is so painful.. It breaks my heart for you and Paul and Olivia.. we grew up together and have great memories of your parents and loved them.. This was very real and I’m glad you got your story out about your brother and his wife.. I loved the relationship you and your mom had!! ❤ So close and loved each other so much.. I was blessed too have seen that.. I’m so sorry and sad your brother got involved like he did and took advantage of her. You did the best you could do for your mom and we’re always there for her. But you couldn’t change her mind. I love you Deb and you and your mom will celebrate in heaven together one day. ❤

[@answersaboutalzheimers]

I love you dear life long friend.....

[@saraw8503]

I am so very lucky that my sister and myself conferred on every decision regarding our mother. I could not have been more supported.

[@onthehill3381]

Same. I have a wonderful sister.

[@catic15]

Me to. My sister and I both live with and care for our mother, and while our brothers are in other states we have regular family calls and Zooms to keep everyone on the same page.

[@todamoon55]

You are indeed very lucky.

[@vernalyons6782]

My friend sent this to me so sorry to hear your story I too took care of my Dementia mother after my brother treated her so badly and then took her to Jamaica 🇯🇲 and placed her in a nursing home I went for her and took her to my home, it's challenging for but God gave me a special love towards her and he provides for me every day because she does get ANY BENEFITS MY BROTHER SAYS HE DOES NOT KNOW ANYTHING about HER ACCOUNTS

[@Ann64]

God Bless You- you are amazing ❤

[@TheFASHUNRAWKS]

I’m here from TikTok. I’m so sorry about your mom. It’s so devastating to hear a story like that but you’re so brave to still be doing work for dementia and Alzheimer’s community. Your brother and his wife should be in jail perhaps under the jail because that is not right at all for him to do that thank you for telling your story. God bless you.💜💜💜💜💜

[@streaming5332]

My screwed up narcissistic brother is power of attorney to my 98 yr old mother. He's at the nursing home every day brainwashing her. She's deteriorated mentally and physically in the last year but still hasn't been tested for dementia. My brother calls the shots, if you say anything adverse about him she gives you a filthy look. I'm so over it I just wish it would all end.

[@novelist99]

This is heartbreaking. I'm so sorry for what you and your mom went through. No one deserves such horrible treatment! Those two should both be in jail! I went through something awful as well when my mom died in 2020. A distant relative, also an addict, got legal control of her and took everything she had. I didn't even get a photo. This relative had manipulated her, which resulted in my mother making bad choices and not seeking the medical treatment she needed. When I saw her at Christmas, she was starving herself to death and was barely conscious, but this relative had taken no action to get her medical help, because she wanted my mom's stuff. I had social welfare intervene and get her admitted, but she remained under the control of this relative. The doctors told me she had a broken ankle from a fall that couldn't be fixed and had had three strokes. I reported the abuse through this whole ordeal and after my mom died, but, like you, I was told that there was not enough proof to take legal action.

[@fawksgirl]

I feel your pain. My ex step brother did same to my dad. He lied to get POA, stole everything from my dad, the house went to foreclosure. He even spent the funeral money. We tried Adult Protective Services, "your dad wants to give away his money". Dad was very sick with dementia and heart failure, was dropped off at the V.A. hospital on a full code resuscitation so brother could still collect SS and VA pensions. The VA caught on quickly and wanted to help us get guardianship, but dad died a few weeks later. It's hard to deal with but just think about the good times you had with your mom. Pray karma deals with these evil monsters.

[@answersaboutalzheimers]

I'm so so sorry

[@Yoop3r906]

Thank you for telling your story, Debra! You are quite brave to do as much in honor of your mother. May God continue to keep and bless you all the days of your life. I too have evil in my family. Out of respect for you and your mother I'll not share mine. What I will say is that you've helped me make the decision to tell my story. It's the right thing to do. What's been done is unimaginable. Unbelievable. When the word "family" is said, people always think of the Brady Bunch family families. Sadly, my brother killed a girl and left a trail of trauma to many others, myself included. I am truly sorry for your loss to have come from evil. The path of truth and justice you've chosen is not unnoticed! I studied criminal justice at NMU and am a domestic violence survivor. After having run from my brother in Florida, I too chose to become an advocate for the victim. I took my life's experiences and education into consideration and decided to fight for domestic violence victims. Many people don't understand that domestic violence isn't just an intimate partner. If you look up the definition of DV it clearly states that it's abuse from another person from within your domestic circle. This includes immediate family. Familia DV is the gateway to intimate partner DV. It's a fact. The worst part is that no one believes you once you say, "my brother killed..." You have my sympathy and respect. I'm truly sorry for your loss. May your mother's monsters 🔥 in hell! 🙏🏻 If you are interested in my story, my TikTok is Yooper906. Godspeed ❤️🕯️🙏🏻

[@kateb7155]

Debra, I am very sorry for what your mother suffered at the hands of her own family, and I am very sorry for the trauma you are suffering with, as a result of this horrific ordeal. I had to face a very similar situation with my mother vs. my brother and sister and, very thankfully, I was able to intervene and save my demented mother's life, immediately, and again over the next six years as I continued to protect her from them through legal guardianship and court supervision of my mother's welfare and well-being. I too had to face the shocking truth of the depths of cruelty imposed on her by my two siblings, her own children. The experience so traumatized me, I was later diagnosed with Complex PTSD. But for the goodness of people, the elderly and the demented elderly are sitting ducks for unimaginable harm by their own families, friends, and neighbors. It is just pure evil.

[@cogitoanima2468]

Your story is now mine. My relationship with my mom is rapidly deteriorating, she has become violent towards me, her caregiver. I am now sending her to specialized assisted care. Getting legal papers done to ensure her finances. It is a big challenge luckily I have worked in finance for many years and am fluent in all the procedures. I cannot imagine this for someone who has no experience.

[@louisel.sinniger2057]

Make sure the facility knows you. You need to be VERY INVOLVED.

[@cogitoanima2468]

Don't worry. I know. I am a mama-mama bear. @@louisel.sinniger2057

[@marycato1361]

I'm taking of my husband right now with dementia. I'm going to hug him right now.

[@answersaboutalzheimers]

Oh, that makes me sooooo happy!. O hope you subscribed to our family

[@alemume]

Wow Deb… I am so sorry for your loss and at the same time, son grateful for your generosity of sharing this tragedy with us… may your beautiful mom rest in peace and may your brother and his wife get what they deserve 🙏🏼

[@collins5038]

Thank God my siblings and I are a team in our mom’s care. She has some mental challenges, but still knows who we are. I’m so sorry this happened to your mother. 😢

[@dawnbarnes3746]

I've been following you on tiktok because my parents are starting to forget and will state they've got dementia. Thankfully my brother n I will be able to be able to make decisions together concerning their care in the near future. I've learned from you about the ways to talk to them and to change the situation. Thank you. I'm sorry about what happened to your mother.

[@answersaboutalzheimers]

Thank you! Reach out when you need to.

[@dixiewade8373]

I am so sorry for your loss and the ongoing pain. I know you are right, just like what was done to my Dad in his last years. I was helpless to help my Dad, too. The system favors these type of abusers. You know in your heart, you did what you could, letting him kill you, would have not helped your Mom and her story would never have been told. Thank you for your bravery in sharing.

[@TheFabricTeapot1]

Oh sweetheart 😢 you have been and are still going through so much pain and trauma. 😢😢😢I'm so very sorry for you and your sweet Mama.

[@jane-maiaandthewildflower]

I've just recently lost my mum, I cant even imagine how I'd mentally cope with knowing my own sibling abused our mother like this. I'm so heartbroken for you. I'm also a carer with the elderly here in the UK, I know how this disease affects people but I can't even imagine how heavy it is when it's your own family member. I'm so sorry, I'm disgusted by everyone involved in this abuse and her death ❤

[@Shannonontheroad]

I am scared of this happening to me. I pray my kids do not put me in a home and we have a plan for if/ when I need somewhere to go. Thank you so much for sharing your story. ❤

[@vickidoulton]

I'm so sorry for you and your mother. May she rest in peace. Bless you and your family 🙏🏼🛐💔😢

[@jasper63689]

I work in LTC you would be shocked at how many patients have restraining orders on their kids as they have tried to abuse them. It’s very sad.

[@salauerman7082]

I’ll be one who doesn’t want a child “caring” for me… She was abusive to ME when I was in my prime.

[@dawndavis647]

I understand too many rotten children out there, but there are also many loving children that get robbed of their parent by meddling old friends who get fabricated mixed up story’s and bold face lies about them and their relationship with said parent. I could right a book on my dads POA and what she has done to my family!

[@EmpathBonz]

I'm sending you comfort and healing during this horrible time. May you remember the beautiful times with your mother and the bad fade away with time. And asking angels to give you a big hug.

[@cobrafan1403]

It's more shocking how many children have POs on elderly parents; and how many elderly people are violent and abusive toward their children.

[@answersaboutalzheimers]

Wow! Really?

[@carleen2841]

I’m an only child and was my Mom’s caregiver all the was through to her death due to Alzheimer’s.

[@Michelle-gw4db]

Debbie your story broke my heart 💔 Im so sorry the way you're mom was treated 😭 this should have never happened to her. They were so crul and ugly. May your mother Rip now. No one can hurt her now.

[@answersaboutalzheimers]

Thank you so much for this

[@bonnford9164]

This is so sad but more common than it should be, my condolences to you and your family. What goes around comes around!

[@remmettroy]

Thank you for sharing!

[@anitasloane1301]

Thank you for sharing this about your beloved mother; may your brother and his wife get the Justice that’s deserved by God!! I’m so sorry for your mother passing away before her time. Also, helping other people with your videos is a beautiful way to remember her by!! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@gatewayz75]

Debra I’m so sad for you, the devastation of that horrible situation would be impossible to live with. Thank you for being so brave and so giving to help everyone with your video series and for sharing your tragedy.

[@answersaboutalzheimers]

Thank you!

[@Nitap7]

So sorry for your loss. 🙏🏽🕊️ This was so sad. Thank you for sharing your story.

[@isras6702]

I wish you healing and peace 🙏🏽💕 This is such a difficult situation to be in. We have similar in my family. Thank you so much for sharing your heart so that others may be saved.

[@mariahaigh5785]

There are no words that can express my emotions and feeling for you regarding this. Nothing can suffice… you are an incredibly strong and amazing person. Bless you for helping others despite all this. My mother-in-law is just at the very beginning showing symptoms, which is why I listen to you. Thank you for what you. ❤

[@answersaboutalzheimers]

Thank you for your kind and tender words.

[@grumpyoldlady_rants]

I am so sorry, Debra. What an absolute nightmare. Your mother didn’t deserve this. My sister cared for an elderly couple in their 90s. Their son was a mean, uncaring man. He moved the couple into assisted living but my sister was still able to keep providing care. The couple’s health started declining after the move and my sister would challenge the staff about the lack of care when she wasn’t there. They complained to the son and he fired my sister. Shortly after, the man died. The woman would call my sister crying, asking why she can’t come and help her. It was heartbreaking.

[@lauramounir3660]

😢omg something similar happened to me with my aunt.

[@kristinekiel2866]

I’m here also from TikTok. I’m so sorry this happened to you! Thank you for all you do. I can’t wait to read your book.

[@bingobanci4142]

Such a heartbreaking experience. Thank you for sharing.

[@mariecoulombe3698]

Chère Debra, je suis bouleversée. Merci d’avoir partagé cette horrible histoire. Je vous offre mes plus sincères condoléances pour le décès de votre mère. Je vous souhaite aussi de la sérénité et du courage.

[@MidnightSkyBeauty316]

My grandmother had alzheimers , my mother and uncle hated each other and couldn't agree. My grandmother OWNED 17 properties. The court ordered lawyer paid herself $465 an hour. Years went by and the lawyer started selling all her properties, at low price so she could sell them all off before my grandmother died, even the 2 condo's in ocean city,md. Which i spent alot of my life in, i was heartbroken. Then this lawyer TRYED charging me $20,000 saying my grandmother didnt authorize those purchases, ( Even though my grandmother had spent that money before she was ever even diagnosed, she brought me a vehicle and bought me my son and my father. A north face code and just some other little things here were there, But that was normal my grandmother always looked out for the family) That Lawyer was an absolute nightmare. It still p***** me off till this day. She liquidated everything my grandmother had worked hard for I remember as a child going with my grandmother to work and cleaning out her rental properties. And to think this lawyer now has all of it. And when my grandmother passed away, there was nothing left. Except for a $300,000 Life Insurance Policy. Rest in Peace Granma 🙏 ❤

[@rmw9130]

Wow! That's crazy. Crazy. Smh

[@nunya2954]

that sound completely illegal since she had children. That is all VERY SUSPECT. I BELIEVE I WOULD BE WRITIING THE ATTORNEY GENERAL AND ALSO THE GOVENOR OF THE STATE AND MAKING COMPLAINTS TO THE BAR REGARDING THE LAWYER AND THE JUDGE. THERE IS NO WAY I WOULD NOT HAVE FOUGHT THAT.

[@terramckay5636]

@@nunya2954Me too! How could the lawyer sell and purchase a property. That should be a conflict of interest. That’s why she sold them for cheap. That should be illegal.

[@nunya2954]

@@terramckay5636 Yes, something way out of line in this scenario and there is no way I would have allowed that to happen, my azz would have been all over the news with this Judge/Lawyer chit and there were children to appoiint.

[@MidnightSkyBeauty316]

She's now claiming that she didn't get all the money she was owed, she is now trying to come after the life insurance money. Sick. This lady destroyed everything and left us with NOTHING. And in order to take her to court it would cost a lot of money that we now don't have

[@afcatterton]

Thank you for bringing awareness to this and for sharing your story in such detail.. this happens way more often than people realize! .. my ex mother- in- law experienced something very similar.. hopefully others will learn something from this!

[@PEACEPRODUCTIONSTV]

Thanks for sharing your story. It’s nice to see I’m not alone.

[@abowling5759]

I am so sorry this happened to you and your poor defenseless mother!!😢…..it really does make me heartsick for the helpless and the abuse they endure…. Thank you for sharing this story so courageously, as painful as it is for you, in order for others to be warned that this could indeed happen to them.

[@answersaboutalzheimers]

Thank you so much. Actually after I posted this I got some hate mail from a cousin. Sometimes families suck!

[@abowling5759]

@@answersaboutalzheimers you’re welcome!…. Yes, sometimes families really do suck…..

[@alexmorgan3435]

Such an eloquently and compellingly told heart breaking story. Same thing happened to me. I was and am the main carer for my mother but earlier this year my younger MIA brother came from the other side of the planet and got her to sign a financial and property PoA for him as sole attorney. I knew nothing about it as the very day he conned her into singing it I was picking up the keys on a retirement flat I was helping her buy. He couldn't have cared less. He emigrated 20 years ago. They day I picked up the keys for my Mum's new flat we all sat in a local cafe and he told me our mother was emigrating overseas with him for the rest of her life and she was selling the flat I'd just spent 8 months trying to secure for her as she did not have a clue what she was doing. She wouldn't even give me a PoA. Anyhow I asked my younger brother to help me move her stuff into her new flat, but I never got a reply. In the end I had to ask elderly relatives on my Dad's side to help me with the larger heavier items. But now following yet another fall my younger brother has placed our Mum in a care home and cleared off back to the other side of the world. He controls all her bank accounts and assets on his phone. She has two properties a large house and flat he is planning to clear, binning everything, then sell them, then 'invest' the proceeds from the sale. His wife and our mother have NEVER got on. My mother cannot stand her and yet the influence she has on my little brother is considerable. If our mother's cash and assets go walkies it will be impossible to get them back as my little brother doesn't even live in the same legal jurisdiction as my mother and me. And yet I still attend her. Have to as I am her next of kin as I am the eldest and have not emigrated. My sister also emigrated over 30 years ago. I have spent so much of my own money and lost 4-5 years of my life on my mother. She I am sad to say like your mother appears to have done is practically taunted you, typical of narcissists. I think you should have challenged the PoA in court or got your mother to revoke it as she would be totally entitled to do. With she giving my younger brother, 5 years younger sole PoA I feel totally betrayed by both of them, mother and brother. I tried to go no contact with my mother but she still contacts me BEGGING ME TO HELP HER. I HAVE TO HELP HER. No I don't. She is desperate absolutely desperate she tells me. She has cried wold so many times and let me down every time I have come to her side. Her self recrimination and self loathing is extreme. Even today she was telling me I was too kind, she didn't deserve me, I was too good to her. Yeah, too right I bloody am. So much has happened. I feel totally played and taken for a ride. My mother is a selfish narcissist. I have the last laugh as her golden youngest child has put her in a care home and refuses to entertain any prospect of her returning to independent living albeit with home care supporting her and she hates this. She has made her bed now lie in it!! It might sound harsh but your mother like mine made her choices, ultimately bad, which has caused you immense pain and hurt. It will take a long time for you and your family to heal, maybe you never will, but what was done to you was an injustice by your mother. I am extremely conflicted how I feel about my mother but when I look back I have ALWAYS been saving her from a crisis that she has called me in desperation knowing I will be able to fix things for her. But not any more. Not only can I not fix what she herself has done, but I have run out of fight, of energy, I just don't want to do it any more as I realise I was and still am being USED. Now I don't condone what you allege your brother and his wife did. It sounds terrible, but your Mom went voluntarily having given your brother PoA. Her judgement was so bad, her vanity clouded her judgement. I have an immense empty pain in my heart that I wish I could get rid of, but I can't. It will be with me forever. And yet this coming tuesday she has yet another medical appointment she wishes me to attend with her. She is unbelievable.

[@answersaboutalzheimers]

We can NOT blame the person with dementia for making "poor" decisions. I do not blame her for anything. A person with a damaged brain is a victim to those around them and a victim of themselves and the disease. We do the best that we can at every moment. No more, what if, ... I should have ,... why didn't I... Those days are gone. Dont blame her, that's not fair. Make your own choices and stand by them. If you change your mind, that's ok too, but don't blame others, we can't control other people, only ourselves. I hope this helps...

[@deborahdownie8039]

Wow, you are so brave. Your story is so incredibly sad. Thank you for sharing it so that all of us can learn from it. My heart goes out to you. ❤

[@vickitindall]

Thank you for sharing your heart -wrenching story. Take comfort in knowing you provided a loving, understanding, and above all, SAFE home.

[@user-mu7xo6fc2n]

I'm so sorry this happened to you and your mom. My mom has had this sisease 20 long years. But, she was a neglectful mother with an alcohol problem. Noe of my sibs help, & I lived the closest. I did get her to an attorney in 2016 & he said she barely passed the competency tests to sign papers. I've made sure my mom had 24 hour live in care for 3-4 years, but now is in Assisted Living. She's angry & bitter most days & I'm verbally abused when I visit weekly. It's an awful journey, and I don't think people u derstand how awful it is. My husband also came out & told me he & my best friend had been lovers for al.ost 20 years. I kicked him out. I've had 2 heart attacks since. I'm taking early retirement, but still must work to support myself. I think my mother will outlive me, & I wish I could have peace for myself and not have to take on the responsibilities I have. So, I can empathize for you. It's been worse for you, as my mom was never kind towards me, & I'm stuck holding the bag, but doing g the best for her as I can.

[@answersaboutalzheimers]

I give you a lot of credit. I think I would walk away. I hope you can put yourself first and find some joy. That is my wish for you.

[@lynhanna917]

Cut yourself some slack and quit punishing yourself. There is no reason for you to go weekly and be abused by her. You have to love yourself enough to find some joy and have peace. I have lived with what you are going thru, and the reward was on her death bed she verbally abused me. Just please put yourself first, be kind to yourself, learn to find joy again.

[@SvetlanaAlexaLetunova]

Make sure you get your life back again. Stop treating yourself this way. You deserve your own life. ❤

[@wendyhandy9065]

So sorry that you & you’re Mum had to go through this. Peace & love to you 💐

[@answersaboutalzheimers]

Thank you Wendy. I had to do something good from thus. I hope you subscribed

[@EVH78-84]

That was incredible thank you for sharing that with us.

[@Heidi_K_Girl_444]

I am so very sorry for the Trauma you and your family. Sending you Healing Prayers and Angels.😢

[@mrstradit]

Amazing story, Debra❤ Thank you so much for inspiring🙏

[@answersaboutalzheimers]

I appreciate your comment Sylvia! Ty!

[@Elizabeth-fj7fd]

😅

[@answersaboutalzheimers]

Sending love back to you!

[@happyandstuff]

I'm confused... why did you not go and get her when she asked you to come and get her "immediately?" Things are not adding up.

[@LuckEsunshine]

BLESS U AND Ty for sharing ur story😢

[@Yllohyllod]

Thank you for sharing. My mom was like a best friend/mom. I miss that so much.

[@DaisyAnnabelle65]

I worked as a nurse in many nursing facilities. Your Mom may have been safer in a nursing home at least she would’ve been cared for with dignity. 🙏

[@Mary-fy3tc]

The “she’s at the end of her life anyway” is the same thing the railroad company said about my 67year old mother after her car was struck and she was killed at a crossing that was unmaintained, and after false testimony by a railroad spokesman.

[@Ann64]

That's OUTRAGEOUS!! I'm so so sorry for your loss.💔

[@thecutellama76]

On what planet is 67 near the end of someone's life? Maybe in 1924, but certainly not 2024!

[@catic15]

Good grief! I'm 68, and since my mom is 95 now and her cousin just turned 100, I certainly HOPE I'm not "at the end of my life"!

[@Mary-fy3tc]

@@catic15 I know! How dare someone decide another’s life has no value, either because of their age or level of dependency. 😢

[@Mary-fy3tc]

@@catic15 I know! How dare someone decide another’s life has no value, either because of their age or level of dependency. 😢

[@user-ro9yr8in5u]

I’m sooooo sorry for all that has happened! My heart and prayers go out to you and all who loved your mom! 😢❤

[@thefrontporchcrafter572]

I am so sorry about your mother and I’m so sorry you had to go through that. 😘❤️🤗🙏🏻 Lisa in Florida

[@PamelaJoyce-dn6bx]

I’m so so sorry this happened. This is so unbelievably awful. Hugs and prayers for you and your family.

[@answersaboutalzheimers]

Thank you! I hope you've joined our group and subscribed.

[@bayonnealice7540]

A similar situation happened to my co worker. She suspected her sister was stealing from her mother but had no proof. Then she suspected her sisters was physically assaulting her. The final straw was when concerned neighbors called the chief of police who lived down the street. He then called my co worker with his concerns. She got her mother out of that house but the damage was done. She was in very poor health and eventually passed.

[@valeriemyers6596]

Thank you for sharing your story.

[@slottiehottiez]

Im so sorry to hear this but thank you for sharing the story to assist others. Being vulnerable to the public is extremely hard and can be embarrassing. You are amazing!!!!

[@pamelaleonard6239]

Oh my god Debbie this is heart breaking. My heart goes out to you and your family xx

[@answersaboutalzheimers]

Thank you Pam, you are my true fan! :(

[@patluvsrocky7249]

So sorry to hear your story. I am crying with you. Sending you love and prayers and thank you for all you do for those of us going down this long, hard, devastating dementia road. I have a brother like that too but I have POA over my mother so his mission is to torture me every time he comes over. He is angry that he has no say in our mother’s care. He is angry he has no access to her money. He wants me to give him mom, her money (dad’s life insurance) and her house and I can be free. He is 62 years old and my parents have supported him his entire life. He doesn’t even have a bank account, totally irresponsible, pot head and now that my father died (4 months ago) and I have cut him off, since all remaining funds are my mothers, he is going crazy. Before my dad passed my brother got him to pay a $75,000 loan off for him and sign over a piece of property and now he doesn’t have the money to pay the property taxes, but he knows that I do have the money. This little transaction not only drained the end of my parent’s bank account but also prevents my mom from being Medicaid eligible for five years. Never mind the fact that I have been supporting my parents for the past three years while my dad continued to pay my brother’s bills. After taking a berating from him on Christmas and him stomping out the door leaving my mother hysterical, I had a complete meltdown yesterday when he showed up and threw him out of the house and told him to not come back. So he threatened to take me to court to see his mother, yeah right! He only shows up on the days I am paying an aide to help me out with my mom and then takes my mom out with the aide. I only have help three days a week and I asked him a million times to come on the days I don’t have help which would make it easier for me, but he does exactly what he wants to do. I have had enough of his abuse, I am not my mother or my father and I am done. Not only dealing with this horror show dementia, I am having to deal with this mental case brother. It’s just too much.

[@Diza519]

I recently started watching your videos on TikTok. My condolences on your mom’s passing. Much strength and love to you. ❤ God bless 🙏🏼

[@cruisingcory5414]

I found you on Tik Tok. My mother is 88 years old and has memory loss. I came here to hear your story. All I can say is WOW! I have tears in my eyes. May God bless you and thank you for the helpful information on Tik Tok. Much love!

[@dr.barbarasmith7767]

Such a heartbreaking story! I am so very sorry for everything your Mom endured. 😭💔 I would think an attorney would have accepted this case of elder physical, emotional, and financial abuse. I am sending 🙏 for you, your husband, and all her friends who loved her.

[@answersaboutalzheimers]

Thank you!

[@SueLoft]

Debra-What a story. So heartbreaking when children cant do whats right for a parent especially one with diminished capacity. 😢Im so so sorry about your mother’s death!!

[@answersaboutalzheimers]

Thank you. It has truly changed my life and my path...for the better.

[@marydunn4827]

I’m so sorry this happened to your dear sweet mother. I have a very similar story that luckily didn’t end up as tragic as yours but I can attest it is horrible how people can treat our vulnerable loved ones.

[@marydoherty4754]

Thank you for sharing your story. I am so very sorry for your loss. 😢😢

[@SpryteintheAndes]

What courage it takes for you to share this story. Alzheimers is devastating. I lost my mom to it also.

[@answersaboutalzheimers]

Thank you! I hope you subscribed.

[@CraftingChristian]

This story is truly tragic and i can only pray that God blesses her and lets her live a beautiful and abundant life full of happiness and joy. I also pray for her mothers soul, and even her brother because he sounded mentally unwell. May God grant justice for this situation, and bless everyone hurt by this. Amen. ❤✝️💙

[@answersaboutalzheimers]

Thank you!

[@stephanieoregan]

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your lovely mother. Guilt is almost harder than grief. Sending gentle healing hugs ❤

[@SheezaPI]

This happened in my family as well. May God bless anyone who has to go through this.

[@janedoe5229]

Get POAs signed BEFORE you start going downhill. And get a Living Trust, not a will. Let your family know what your wishes are. I know it's hard, but a situation like this is WORSE. What a horrific nightmare. I am so sorry that this happened. :(

[@cathyf.2672]

Thank you for sharing. My sympathizes for you, Debra. So sorry for your loss. I'd like to share my story, which also starts with a suicidal alcoholic unemployed brother. For many years, he took emotional advantage of my self sacrificing mother. She let him move in, and he was abusive with her. My cousin and I were able to physically get her away from him to a new living situation. Luckily we also had a banker who suggested I obtain a POA. Perhaps the main difference in our stories is that my mom doesn't have Dementia, so she was able to make the decision to not live with her felon son. We are so very grateful.

[@answersaboutalzheimers]

Omg Cathy. Tjis us so hard to comprehend. Sometimes I hate people!

[@cathyf.2672]

@@answersaboutalzheimers Since then, I've learned about late stage alcoholism. It's a blessing to be able to forgive my brother; However, I'll never trust him and always keep a distance.

[@MaN-pw1bn]

I am so very sorry for the torment you've gone through. I feel every inch of your pain, anguish, frustration and heartbreak. You're doing a great thing by helping others in this situation. Find your peace with things that you literally could not control.

[@answersaboutalzheimers]

Thank you so much!!!!!! I hope you subscribed

[@christilong8919]

My heart goes out to you. I'm so thankful to have found your channel about caring for alzheimers patients.

[@vavadtbn53]

I feel for your poor mom and what you went through as a loving and caring daughter. May she rest in peace.

[@tiffinyanderson4403]

This story is horrific and your pain is raw. Your mother was protected from a nursing home but not her own son. Who would think she needed to be protected from her own son. My mother had a massive stroke 22.5 years ago and recurring UTI’s have caused hallucinations which I never knew that could happen. She’s slipping away and my father is overwhelmed but loving. We’re all working together to help them. Thank you for sharing your painful story. Spreading awareness is crucial. I think people believe they will make it worse by talking about it or about breaking their promise not to share. I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope you can show yourself some grace and forgive yourself too. ❤

[@answersaboutalzheimers]

Thank you so much for your kind words, I really appreciate this. It is hard but I have decided to make something good come of it. I hope you decided to subscribe to our family

[@JoyceCostello-ts9jr]

😢thank you so much for telling your story I am so sorry for your loss. I hope one day she gets justice for her pain. Now I'm going to go hug my mom.

[@cathyduenas34]

Thank you for sharing your story for the world to hear 😢, I'm so so sorry that your mom went through that . ❤

[@answersaboutalzheimers]

Thank you. I hope your subscribe