Am I Therian?

[@sjh3217]

I'm not lying when I say that you almost single-handedly changed my mind about furries, from seeing it as just a kink vs. something that can be integral to people's conception of self and body. It's not something I'll ever intuitively understand, but it makes more sense to me now, so thanks for that.

[@HahnenschreidesPositivismus]

Yeah, following Patricia on social media for years really just flipped furries for me 180 degrees, like from total cringe response to "just regular humans like us ... I mean regular mammals". Also Will Toledo (AKA Car Seat Headrest) sort of helped too.

[@formersamonellaclone]

Sorta off-topic, but I'm so not surprised that a majority of all hate to the furry fandom is just because of trolls perceived to be inside members of the community (which is certainly not the case). Either that or it's the shallow "based and red-pilled philosophy" forged by the incels of 4chan...

[@FreakyFurryCreations]

I don't know if this will help you at all, but think of Furry as a hobby. It's known for people who like animals with human characteristics, often representing themselves with fursonas, their own anthro animals. Sometimes they dress up in fursuits just for fun. It's not usual a sexual thing, but of course like any fandom for every age there will be people who like different things like that. It could be. It depends one the person. So I hope that's a good description if it helps at all

[@ziniihelalt]

not all furries identify as animals though--or in other words, i don't see it as simply conception of self and body. more like, we like animal characters and sorta have a hobby around it. Therians however, so have some identification stuff. like having spiritiual connections with animals or even identifying as one(discluding physical stuff--therians accept they are human).

[@ts4858]

this is so cool

[@saccharinesilk]

autigenic therianthropy would be a great album name

[@gabed.2632]

Let's make sure Patricia sees this comment

[@third-place.ordinal]

autigenic therianthropy

[@rbarzevedo]

After almost three years saying "back when I was a puppy" and feeling good for doing so, it's great to know this is more normal than I thought

[@electricnezumi]

As a plural system, we get what you mean with "species dysphoria" we have non-human alters and it is just like what you described, right down to it all being roughly explainable by our autism but nevertheless an important part of our identity.

[@upumpkin]

We second this

[@MxPokirby]

We're quite the gallery. Couple humans, couple animals/hybrids, bunch of "fantasy" creatures and so on. Some with tails in headspace, but different tails, and each of them only feels the absence of *their own* type of tail, not anyone else's. Not to mention all the contradictions we create and conventions we break simply by co-fronting like we 7 are now. When you're born as just a consciousness, no physical body to uniquely call your own, it's easy to realize 'what your true form *would* be if you had one' becomes only limited by your imagination.

[@pikariocraftf2802]

We watched a short documentary on it and the person in it explained how sometimes alters have different races with different skin colours and such. Then the dragon and the roomba looked at eachother. We've got some humans, some anthro peeps, but generally we're not very body concious I think... granted having a massive tail would be really cool.

[@signisot5264]

"The furry version of ponified speech" is a funny series of words but there hasn't been anything coined for it yet so, fuck, I guess yeah Personally, the usage of these words casually is so liberating, refreshing, and euphoric even if I don't personally see myself the same way; it's a form of genuine self-expression. Listening to your music where this casual language is used is similarly enjoyable, and I wish there was more of it. Whether or not you decide to identify as Therian, I think you're an inspiration and I enjoy listening.

[@gayfrog420]

we could call it furrified speech? idk.

[@beefromashroom]

The autism/animal thing is so wild to me, cause it makes so much sense. I mean, many of my autistic traits feel like cat/dog traits. I was already a furry before I knew you, but following you on Twitter and consuming your art made me realize there's more to it. Recently I've been slowly adapting this animal language similar to yours, calling my hands paws etc, and it. feels so right. Idk if I'd call myself a therian/otherkin, but there's certainly something weirdly animal about me. Also biting and barking/making other animal sounds are such good stims they're the best I love meowing and chewing on shit and I love wagging my non-existent tail when I'm happy

[@jellifygirl]

The way we see it, autism can be the way to explain things like therianthropy, alterhumanity, otherkin, plurality, etc to *others*, but it doesn't just explain away those experiences for yourself. It's cool and useful that we can say "oh, it's an autism thing where because of X I feel Y!" but that doesn't mean the same thing as "it's just autism".

[@jellifygirl]

yeah we have a cat living in our brain. it's an autism thing for sure, but that just means we have an autism cat living in our brain

[@Painocus]

Also like... not all therians and otherkin have autism.

[@jellifygirl]

@@Painocus YEAH that too ww

[@fourthmatchflame]

Don Quixote?

[@JasminUwU]

​@@Painocus while I understand that is theoretically possible, I've never actually met one who isn't autistic

[@AFastidiousCuber]

Speaking personally: For those of us who spend a lot of time online, especially those on the spectrum, there's a sense of a blurring of the line between "reality" and our psychological sense of self. Although maybe not to the same degree as Patricia, I find myself essentially playing a fundamentally inhuman character in online spaces, then adopting those characteristics and self-perceptions offline. In retrospect, I wonder what characteristics were "real" parts of my identity to begin with, and I can end up chasing my tail trying (so to speak) to understand and recognize the distinction. I recently started reading "Simulacra and Simulation" by Baudrillard and his overall thesis seems relevant now more than ever. Identity is like this process of creating simulations and intellectual frameworks to capture and understand the real, but those simulation just become the new reality and the cycle repeats. I'm starting to get a bit pretentious, so I'll stop.

[@lucas56sdd]

Nah you weren't pretentious you were doing fine :)

[@ConvincingPeople]

At this point citing Baudrillard in the context of online neurodivergent and queer culture, furry culture included in its own way, strikes me less as "pretentious" than imminently necessary, in the same way that his intellectual precursor Guy Debord is or ought to be inescapable when discussing modern online politics and mass media.

[@lilyofluck371]

even if you were being pretentious, this is the perfect place to do it in. Please continue, because I'm intrigued and lord knows I don't got the attention to read the book myself and do _research_ eugh~

[@vienlacrose]

I mean, reality is already bullshit. What's the harm in bending it to your will from time to time?

[@orbismworldbuilding8428]

That makes sense and i agree

[@iscariette]

As a kiddo, I used to mimic my cats' behavior (licking my "paws" ,meowing, trying to scratch my ear with my foot, etc.). Now that I'm older, I see myself as/like a cat. I also just relate to cats more then I do to neurotypical and some other autistic ppl. I don't think that this makes cats a theriotype of mine, but it's interesting to see how much sense of identity can be so much different from the physical body. Especially in neurodivergent folks.

[@barrkorrd27]

I never anticipated seeing a video titled "Am I therian?" from you, but it only just makes me like you more. Alterhumanity, otherkinity, is sort of a big part of my life and I consider it a big part of my culture and part of myself. So seeing someone else be open about it too is always very nice and refreshing!

[@nonbinarybastard]

I was actually just wondering if she was?

[@TimesChu]

Species dysphoria hits me hard on a daily basis. I feel like I can't talk about it with anybody, even my friends or therapist, so it's nice to hear someone mention it even briefly in a 2 minute video. ::Edit:: Just remembered I have a classmate that also watches your videos, knows my username, and has probably read this now... Hi Jette, please don't think too much about this.

[@spectralserpent]

I'm curious how that conversation went lmao

[@meowsickles22]

lol species dysmorphia sucks

[@Felix_the_forestcat]

@@meowsickles22omg yeah

[@adridaplague-boi]

Did ur friend ever ask you? Ya gotta update us

[@smallshlingus6212]

What da dog doin

[@marchwhitlock6455]

Only acceptable response.

[@AluRooftop]

Thank you, i love this.

[@ShadowFox64]

I think your puppy-isms are super adorbs and a selling point of your content. Do your best to feel completely unashamed about being yourself. Or at least the version of yourself that you present as a content creator to her audience. I've really been enjoying your video essays and hope you keep sharing your passions with us.

[@varielvaporeon]

I kinda did had a experience like that for some time, and the phantom tail syndrome is so fucking unreal, feelenig like there something moving behind you, or even trying to move a non existent tail. And I sometimes make a kind of cat a sound while reacting to certain things. But after some time i stopped doing that constantly, i kinda accepted that dosent matter how much i wish i will never be a fucking vaporeon. And with the feeling that this is not the right body, and i was supossed to be something else is strangely painfull. Funny enough, sometimes some of my friends copy those sounds i make (but no one of them are furries or something close). I dont wish to be a full animal, walk on all 4 and stuff, i rather being a mix of the two, a antho vaporeon. And the thing with memories being better when you think yourself as a dog, i never experienced that, but sometimes in my dreams im a goddam antho vaporeon. I cant really relate to this body, cause looking myself in a mirror feels strange, as if the reflection was not mine, i kinda rather imagine myself as a antho vaporeon, just because i find them cool.

[@Linzolle]

fellow vaporeon 🤝 though i guess i'm more of an eevee wanting to be a vaporeon

[@varielvaporeon]

@@Linzolle just buy a water stone. 💎💧

[@thatwaguy]

Hey guys did you know that in terms of

[@varielvaporeon]

@@thatwaguy *sad vaporeon noises*

[@hunderslash]

yeah I get it, I honestly think body dysphoria can go any direction, more often it’s something like wanting to lose weight or being trans, but somehow my autism was like “I want to be rat person” and there’s not really much I can do about that lol

[@jorgehaswag7294]

So I saw this a while ago and… I have something that I thought about commenting when I first saw it and didn’t but it’s just kept spinning around in my head so I want to get it out now. So yes, they are symptoms of autism, but then again I feel like as autistic people it would be much better to correlate ourselves to animals than to the emotionless robots n such that society often portrays us as, and which I thought of myself as when I was younger and still occasionally do nowadays. As much as I love Spock, I think it’s better to build our perceptions of ourselves around this more complicated representation which can express everything from the euphoric joy to the less pleasant aspects of our identity.

[@cairn4838]

I explored the therian community for a little bit and while I found it interesting, it didn’t feel like they had a vocabulary that quite matched what I was experiencing. Maybe no community does, but the way you’ve talked about being a furry and *being a dog* really resonated with me. Around the same time I saw you talking about that, I learned that wolves don’t have certain facial muscles that dogs have evolved to be more expressive towards humans and I … felt that very deeply bc I’m one of those autistics who is really hard to read and whose affect often seems flat. So now I just have to accept that not only am I a furry after years of being told that being so was disgusting, but also that I identify with probably the most common fursona in the world lol. I think I will come out the other end feeling less ashamed of myself eventually

[@Makenzie770]

Oh my lord this was a jumpscare for me seeing that title Being a therian myself yeah I honestly feel the same as I view myself as a fox And yeah it can be embarrassing but I've gotten over it if I make silly sounds I'll make silly sounds And yeah phantom limbs are silly My tail/wings go hard

[@monochrome_soft9472]

i’m not a therian (we’ll see) but its definitely something that’s been on my mind lately and “jumpscare” is the perfect description of seeing this video pop up dhkifdjnh

[@muffin_crow]

I'm also a fox therian omg!! :D

[@MadelineMyujikaru]

I keep rewatching this video and gaining more and more questions about myself

[@bec-sauce8375]

as someone who is autistic and otherkin, your experiences are very similar to mine, especially with the beliefs of wishing you were born a dog and the phantom shifts of having a tail. its definitely possible for things like that to be explained psychologically, but whether or not you want to consider yourself therian/otherkin is completely up to you. a major point of the whole kin movement (not whatever tumblr turned it into, but rather what it started out as; a spiritual belief) is that we are well aware of how insane we sound when we say "i have memories of being a fictional character" and do know that it _can_ be explained psychologically (note that there is often an overlap in those who are otherkin/therian and those who are autistic). the end of the day, though, we still embrace that part of our identity, since we find beauty in the passionate, unfiltered expression of emotion and individuality rather than the so-called "logic" and "rationality" that tends to restrain us. so, like i said, it's up to you if you want to identify as therian or anything adjacent. you dont have to if thats not what youd like.

[@oldchannel1312]

i agree with this as an autistic wolf therian

[@Ruffles_The_Rivulet]

Very cool saint pfp

[@SunroseStudios]

kin dysphoria (considering species dysphoria a subset of that to be clear) is the worst, speaking from experience. it's like... there's so little to even be done about it on a physical level of kind of hurts. like we cannot, as far as we know, physically become a shapeshifting cartoon slime, but if we had the chance we would take it in a fucking heartbeat.

[@lilyofluck371]

Sometimes I feel that I am *bad* at being a Therian, or being a trans person. Dumb notion, I know. But, I can't ever get it out of my head that, I'm just bad at expressing the parts of my personality that I feel envelop me, and it annoys me greatly. Like, I too am a therian (fox btw) but I feel like I'm bad at expressing this part of my personality... Whatever that means lol... Like, I have a tail and ears, and I also have a mask (that a friend of mine made) and all that stuff, but I can't shake this feeling that I'm not "therian enough." Same thing for being trans. I've never played Celeste, I don't own a blahaj, and I rarely dress femme because it's a lot of effort. And it feels kinda icky listening and seeing all these other trans fems be so... trans femme-y? Like, I'm missing out... My entire life sometimes feel like half truths. I can't be fully in. Never. Always something isn't right... I've been diagnosed with autism, but I don't really experience many autistic things... I never get overwhelmed with sensation (forgot what that was called), I feel I have a good sense of people and social things, and I don't really have that Thing(tm) that most autistic people have (like that one hobby you got obsessed with). I think I may be the rare case where I *did* just grow out of autism, because most of the signs of autism I had were from like when I was less then 12... And I didn't have much interaction with people from 1st to 3rd grade because I was homeschooled. And I couldn't fucking see when I was a toddler because I was blind as hell, so talking was definitely difficult... this got out of hand, sorry... I kinda lost the plot here huh? I'm not much of an essayist lol. My writing of choice has always been fiction, cause lord knows I can't face the facts... Sometimes I fear I'm just lying to myself to seem more interesting... Maybe I'm not really trans, or really a therian, or anything... Everything is so confusing and it feels like all the signs point in opposite directions. Like the mental equivalent of the liars paradox. I just decided that there wasn't much difference from being a therian and feeling like I am a therian, so I just said I was one. Especially since I experience things. I get species dysphoria. And I feel like I'm missing a tail. But whenever I doubt myself I wonder if I just feel like I'm missing my tail because I used to where my tail everywhere when I was a tad younger, so not wearing it feels strange... then I could say that wearing my tail everywhere in itself is a strange thing to do if you aren't a therian, it just goes in circles and I'm not sure who to listen to... and this doesn't even mention the single hardest part of my life. Figuring out if I have OSDD or if I'm so good at roleplaying I don't even know I'm roleplaying... Like, I always say, "I don't have OSDD, I just like naming my personalities." which kinda just feels like, "I'm not trans, I just rather would not be AGAB," doesn't it? Idk, this is so hard... sorry for using your comment section like a therapy session... (they say never trust your thoughts after 10, and it's exactly 1:00 in the morning right now, so maybe it's just that... it's only ever maybes though, huh. I can never be sure of anything)

[@hyperflares2879]

you're so therian it makes my therian friends grin and cheer you on. therian and autistic are super cross over same thing. i'm not every making fun of you or mocking you, you're super duper awesome and i really appreciate you a lot a lot okay okay yay! NT people should not be able to see any of us weird peoples.

[@Papoompala]

At anthro northwest Abejorn hosted a panel about species dysphoria and it was basically this. Basically that is a term she and others are trying to coin to make a certain brand of Therian experiences more known. Wonderful to hear more UwU. I’m an outside observer, but the community is wonderful.

[@thelegalsystem]

Its something I've thought about myself, but I'm currently satisfied with "annoyingly furry". Definitely can relate to feeling like a different species than NT people though. Anyway, Sparkle On! Don't forget to be yourself!

[@bagelraven]

I remember learning about how most furries feel a degree of separation between their human bodies and their fursonas, like they’re different characters. The sona has its own views and feelings that could be different from the person playing them, but I have never felt that separation. It’s like they designed a character to represent themselves instead of just drawing themselves, while I have always felt the same as that creature I see in my sketchbook. That’s why I’m always confused when I see people changing which sona they’re using since, why change? This is what I look like. I also feel phantom tail and wings (even more so recently) and often screech or bark or meow.

[@GamecubeGeek]

tailblazing philosophy

[@beakthebirdbot3858]

as someone kinda new to this, this is so nice to hear. thank you for sharing.

[@JackedUpLope]

'all the dog stuff' makes my odd furry self feel incredibly valid watching your videos. Thank you for that. Cringe is dead, so appreciate your pawbs, tail, n' floof.

[@derpymule7977]

Tentative question from someone outside the community: is there any reason why specifically a dog, or any animal for that matter, as opposed to just generally non-human? I mean, there are plenty of different animals that chew things, have tails, bark etc. And iirc you even specified a species of dog at one point in another video. Is that still coming from an inherent feeling, or is there a choice somewhere of, say, a dog over a wolf? I ask specifically because I understand the feeling of being non-human, since I’m agender and use it/its, but I don’t have any experience feeling like an animal.

[@puppyhelictriangle]

I've met dogs in real life & they often remind me of myself when I was their age, I feel distinctly like I'm a dog that lived to be 23.

[@LyricalWhispersHeard]

I’d like to say sorry to a person I commented on about a year ago about therians being invalid. I’ve looked into it alot and I’ve done a lot of soul searching and while I am not a therian I realize while I may not understand it I don’t need to to happily accept it and support people who are therians

[@avi_mation]

I’m a little jealous of therians. Not because I think they’re cooler than me, but because I can’t be one. They got chosen to be an animal, but ever since learning about them, I had an obsession. My whole search history is just “am I a therian? Therian test, therian quiz, how to tell if you’re a therian” because I wanna be one SO FORKING BAD

[@basspuppy133]

You know you just can be, right? Sounds like the only person stopping you here is yourself.

[@AuntBibby]

i wanna be a therian too.....!!! i wanna be a bulldog!!!!!!! but i dont really experience phantom animal limbs (there was one time when i had a cold/fever that i felt like i had fangs, but thats it). and i dont feel good using puppyspeak. i kinda really wanna experience phantom animal limbs!!!!!

[@basspuppy133]

@@AuntBibby you don't have to experience any of that to be therian, you can just decide to be.

[@ender691]

bro you can just be therian

[@weirdnerdygoat]

got to spread more voluntary identity propaganda, as long as you understand the term and community properly feel free to call yourself a therian! if you want a strongwr identity i also recommend inking :3 (or you can just call yourself an otherlinker pure and simple)

[@pr3yanimal]

as someone who says "I don't want to be a girl, i want to be a catgirl" on the reg, I've definitely just wholly leaned into it as of late. it feels nicer, being referred to by names you would call a cat. not quite having that same obligation of Personhood so it makes social situations (something autistic people often struggle with) easier to handle! like, i was not given the same privileges as a Person when I was a Kitten, so why am I being asked to act like a person?

[@ToxikBox]

As someone who is otherkin and identifies as an "entity" or "goddess" I feel way happier considering myself not human and instead as a conceptual entity, similar to the way being a transfem makes me happy, and as someone who has a friend who is both Therian and a furry, I do genuinely think otherkin/therianism/transhumanism whatever you wanna call it is very much linked to autism, maybe not inherently but most people I know who do not identify as human including myself have some kind of mental disorder or illness. The fact that you discussed this and how you call yourself and treat and see yourself as a dog both subconsciously and consciously makes me very happy

[@adridaplague-boi]

Truly and unfathomably based Edit, so i just realised that like. this video was probably like pt's first video talking about being therian, and also it comes 8 months before her "on the ethics of boinking animal people" video (which, sidenote, is the reason i figured out i myself am a dog) so it's probably just some real quick thoughts on that end section on the video At the same time this video, when i first watched it, was the first time i actually thought about the topic. Since seeing it a few months ago i sorta flirted on the boundary of "wow, the way it's described makes it sound so interesting to me" and "oh it sounds so interesting to me because it's something that i am". It's the same thing that happened when i realised i was gay when i was 11 and then when i realised i was autistic when i was 14. When i stumble upon something new about myself it takes a few solid months to chew the concept in my mouth and gauge its' texture before i end up deciding if it tastes good or not. But this also means that, if not for this video, i might have not have realised my animalcy for a few years, if not literally ever, so thanks avery, truly and unfathomably based also i love the zachtronics ramblings on tumblr

[@sefrine]

I've finally made a YT account because this video is sort of itching something in my mind. I don't like to make myself known on the internet generally. Sorry for any word salad. I'm sort of just rambling? People are sharing their non-humanity experiences and I've been thinking about this for awhile. I'm a guy in my late teens who was recently put into therapy for was assumed to be 'weirdly presenting autism', and has since been found out to likely be Schizoid Personality Disorder. ScPD superficially appears like autism, but otherwise it's unrelated. A part of ScPD is a fundamental disconnect from the sense of self and the externalized selves. I experience these externalized self the way someone experiences, like, dodging a ball coming flying at your face. For some schizoids externalized selves are more...cultivated, but still, compulsive? autonomous?) I'm just an observer to its machinations, like how a person outside of this body is also an observer. Sometimes I want to take a peeler and cut the body away from my "essence." The online space makes up a much more 'accurate' version of myself. I present myself, typically, as some sort of animal. My online personas are not 'me,' but it's a closer mimic to myself. I'm a church grim. The fact I am a church grim comes down, in part, to a disorder. A solitary ghost that was sacrificed, had its life stolen from it, to devotedly protect a holy space? And it's a dog, something most people find unacceptable to harm, a sort of bastion of goodness? Zachary Wheeler's handbook on ScPD notes, "The schizoid is also known for cultivating special relationships with others. By making the object feel special through their attunement and responsiveness, the schizoid makes himself indispensable and beyond reproach," and, "Unable to be himself, the schizoid decides it is best to become what the other person needs him to be. " There's a few layers to how this relates to myself, but as someone with religious baggage, and often in a position where I'm both subservient to and the primary support of someone who hurts me, the imagery of a dog ripped out of its self to fulfill a spiritual purpose it couldn't possibly understand hits. Sometimes I see people denying themselves participation in the alter/nonhuman community because they feel their sense of inhumanity is invalidated by is psychological origins, which sucks. In the past an emphasis was put on 'past-lives' or spiritual origins as the primary 'justification' for therianthropy and otherkin, and that's probably why people feel this way, The truth is that there is no "right" way to not be a human. I'm still a church grim. Someone could try and say otherwise, logic me out of being a grim, but it's like saying the externalized false selves are me. No amount of philosophy or epistemology or whatever has convinced me that the body is relevant to how I "should" experience my "self." It simply is not how I experience self concept, and how I define Myself is all that really matters to me. It doesn't matter how other people perceive "me."

[@patchescantpurr2731]

I don't call myself a Therian. I do feel identifying my differences from neurotypical people as animal traits makes it easier to feel comfortable being myself. Most people don't make fun of an animal shying away from fireworks or hiding away during a party, most people respect a wild animal's personal boundaries (or at least should) and know that physical contact isn't something they can do freely. I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting that understanding, the clear line in the sand, "I am not like you."

[@nena_nezali]

I've been a furry so long that "all the dog stuff" is 100% normal to me. Like I spend so little time around normoids that it feels weird that this video has to exist.

[@kangarumpy]

Now, to completely "out" myself for being my own flavor of nutcase: I won't lie, I often make "noises" (Auwrauwrrr, mhrrr..) instead of words. To me that feels like the purest exproossion of my emotions. It's quite offputting and is ineffective commroonication, but it feels so damn good when someone just.. gets me. You've proobably noticed the "roo puns," it's quite effrootless at this point. It helps me feel roonique. I strooggle with my sense of self and these quirks feel like they'd be fun and memorooble. And I hope it makes people think about me, roomember my existence. (What an existential thought.) -Now for a shift- After all that, I sit here, wondering where my instictrooal roopulsion when I hear that someone is an otherkin/therian comes froom... I guess it feels like a certain level of roofual to acknowledge, if not outright deny, the separation of fantasy vs rooality. Would I want to be an anthroopomorphic cybernetic (modroolar) roo? Fuck yeah, but I wouldn't say that I **am** a roo, but in a human's body. -That being said, online? Yeah, I am; it's a form of roleplaying and it feels roophoric.~ In the end, I'm still parsing my feelings at 5:30 in the morning and have roovised this comment acrooss severool interootions. I aporoogize if I offended, that was not my intention. Part of me rooquired that I vent out my mroosings about my own introocacies and have a wrootten roocord of my thoughts, extroonal to their source. Another part of me wishes to talk to otherkin/therians to get their first-paw account of their own thoughts and opinions. All in all, this has felt sort of therooprootic to type out and proohaps a bit.. exhibitionist of myself: since my roo puns are oft secrooded to my proovate Discord messages and not in the public.

[@realperson5575]

Meds. Now.

[@kangarumpy]

@@realperson5575 You're not a real person.

[@Lantern_Light]

Ok. You’re pubby. Alright.

[@shrimpiee56]

i feel this so much, as an autistic person who is also trans, i've never personally labelled myself as non-human but, i've always, felt it i guess? in a way, and i always have, i guess in that same sort of "autistic kid not being welcomed in a society not made for them" kind of way, like you just feel. alien. when i was younger i was very, i guess connected to animals and nature in specific, i also had a huge special interest for dogs, and canines, which i believe linked to me kind of mirroring and imprinting on their behaviors, and when i got older i tried to force myself to stop acting the way i did because people would think i was "weird" or "cringe", i still experience some involuntary behaviors though like sometimes, barking when i'm being chased like in tag or just going "yip!!!" whenever i get jumpscared. i don't really label myself as a therian but, i let others label myself that way if it makes it less complex, in a way.

[@edithprince5305]

This is exceptionally based. Most based shit ever

[@ariebirb]

in systems, a non-human alter comes from a sense of being treated or seen as someone or something not or less than human. like an object. when a child is objectified or treated less than human, creating those kinds of alters is normal as a response. theirs like research to it. you may not be a system but this can totally be the case for you. (i’m a part of a system and i relate heavily to you but like as finding out i’m a fictive and why i related so heavily to a character i know i’m not)

[@Flailmorpho]

as one of the maybe five people on earth who can say they work professionally with helping dog girls be themselves, therian or otherwise, I must say I hope however you work these feelings out you enjoy it. If you ever want to just chat about it I'd be very down for it

[@rotisseriepossum]

I’m dying to know more abt ur job

[@average_trans_furry]

@@rotisseriepossum same please tell us more

[@Flailmorpho]

@@rotisseriepossum I'm a hypnodomme but with a focus on working with queer furries and helping them relax, let loose, be themselves, an experience living in the body of their fursona and/or their dream bodies. I've worked with a lot of therians completely nonsexually where I let them run around in the body of the animal they identify with and help them just be themselves.

[@Flailmorpho]

@@average_trans_furry here ya go

[@josbird]

​@@Flailmorpho Absolutely love that. A friend of mine who practices hypnosis has talked a lot about it with me and I've been interested in that kind of application of it. I haven't had the time (or confidence) to experiment yet though. Sounds like you're doing the lord's work.

[@MyNameIsNotPa]

If the popular figureheads of the internet’s weird cringy stuff were all self aware, well articulated legends like you, the world would be a happier place.

[@Mimikyu007]

I love this video! I constantly talk with my boyfriend about the correlation between being therian and autistic, i like this a lot. (We are therian and austictic)

[@baguettegoblin7882]

We all got the 'tism and we'll never stop living our best lives

[@OddysseyTalks]

As an Otherkin who feels like it's supposed to be a disembodied consciousness puppeting a body that's not quite human with a tail & horns... This makes me unbelievably happy to learn about you. You're one of my favorite artists and this representation means a lot 💜

[@HahnenschreidesPositivismus]

I love how she speaks in like the same manner an enlightenment philosopher does. Like she presents observations about herself carefully, laying everything out in a rational manner and then proceeds to drawing conclusions similar to David Hume or like ... maybe a less boring Kant.

[@portobeIIa]

Wow. You saying that your childhood memories become clearer when you interpret them as a puppy really changed my mind about this community. This is so cool. I feel the same way, but with cats. I dont have autism but i did have a really unstable traumatic childhood which made me agoraphobic. Feeling like i was just a scared animal and i wasnt supposed to know any better has helped me cope. I get that it's not that for most therians, not everything is a trauma response, but man. I feel better now

[@tabbygale5430]

I connect with this so much. Even so far as preferring to sleep curled up on a cushion on the floor. Ive been doing a weird purr/vocal stim thing lately- luckily most people think it's more amusing than strange.

[@moonsver]

i am also autistic and just ... a dog? maybe not to the same extent, i can talk about myself as a person in first person but it does make me uncomfortable depending on the day. i just see myself as.. a puppy! or a creature! and not as a human being, because i don't feel like i fit with everyone else & i dont do things in the Perfect Correct Human Way

[@LexYeen]

You do you. Be happy. Whatever terms describe your happiness are the right ones. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

[@magentialice]

YOU. YOU DESCRIBED THE THING! THATS THE THING! ITS ME! THE THING!

[@stinkzsys4995]

Autigenic therianthropy call that Pawtism /lh /pos

[@marblesoda7362]

HELL YEAH! You make me so happy and want to figure myself out more and to be more myself. I have similar feelings like this but have trouble finding the words to describe it. It's just so nice to finally hear someone talk about this kind of stuff in a non-condescending way. Maybe some day soon I'll figure out what I want to call myself as a girl who meow-stims and tail wags, and I'll be happier for it!

[@GyroCoder]

I don't believe in reincarnation and I don't get phantom limb sensations unless I make myself get them on purpose but at the end of the day species euphoria is the only cope that actually works. If being a funny little ratbird noodle-on-stilts alien called a "yinglet" is ze only way for me to stop feeling depressed all za time, zhen I guess I'm a god damn critter...??? also I'm autistic zhanks OP

[@Appledirt]

As a trans girl who is also autistic and therian, I can safely sau you arent alone in this. "Species dysphoria" is something I feel just as often as gender dysphoria... both are painful because I know I don't habe a body that I feel comfortable in

[@ThatThing0]

Same, I experience specie dysphoria and gender

[@ThatThing0]

Not a trans tho

[@FerinitheBloodHusky]

im both too

[@ConvincingPeople]

I had phantom limb sensations surrounding a snout I do not have when I was very young. Sometimes I still do. No idea what to make of that, but I think in practice therians have the right idea. Ultimately, I am less interested in being or being seen as "human" than I am in being treated with kindness and dignity regardless of category.

[@snblue]

Yo perceiving oneself is hard?? I don't wanna be perceived as human to begin with, much less self identify as one??? I'm much more comfy when people understand I'm actually a cryptid. Inhuman, undefinable, a mysterious entity which surely no one would expect to grasp social cues or human culture. I'm sure it's the autism speaking but it's still valid. We feel how we feel for a reason.

[@tikki2340]

That last part about not wanting neurotypical people to see you as the same species as them hit me way harder than I expected as an agender and autistic person. Thank you for owning your dog hood. It makes it a whole lot easier for us humans to be honest and feel seen.

[@U.R.coolkid]

As i type this and am very exhausted and drained from school so I'll just try my best to not be annoying with my words, anyway, I completely and fundamentally felt this. When i was a younger kid, as in since birth, i always acted and was closer to the animals surrounding me. It did in fact feel more connective, to act like a dog or cat. Also i used to vocal stim a LOT, id hiss and growl and therefore was labeled indisputably cringe. I even scratched and bit some kids (to be fair i only bit that one guy cuz he literally had me cornered and was jamming his hands in my face, and the guy i scratched was cuz i was a young kid and he took a ball right out my hands. I didn't even mean to draw blood but i did..) So yeah. Lotsa animal behavior. I still walk on my toes from time to time, and i was always the fastest at running on all 4s compared to others. Almost makes me sad how much i was forced to quiet and snuff out all this haha, no more vocal stims, no more echolalia, no more animal behavior... damn

[@kaedotmoe]

I dont get human relationships. i dont get the difference between platonic, romantic, or sexual relationships. between friends, relatives, acquaintances, and partners. there are people i want to be close with, some more than others. there are things i want to do or not do irrespective of the specific people. there are people who i owe things to. thats how i understnad things, and one of the ways i have found to frame this sort of helplessly naive understanding of attachment is, i must be a child, or an animal or something. i cant say for sure i know whats going on in a dogs head, but it doesnt actually recognise us as Owners or Masters, yknow? I dont think thats exactly right. to them we are something or someone important and they want to do everything they can to be nice because we are nice. i feel that way, sometimes. i dont really care to put a word on what i am, but i decidedly long ago that straight clearly isnt right, or cis, and maybe human isnt right either

[@Sentay0]

On the subject of the phantom limb tail, if that's unconscious and you just manifested it on your own please please please find a 1on1 voice hypnotist that you vibe with and have them reinforce it. As someone in that scene, doing that biz, the amount of furries and normies I'm asked to attach / staple tails to is frankly a little absurd (like top 3 requests consistently). As for the video itself, I think it's cute and I've felt more understanding of it since experiencing these videos + if it helps, keep doing it.

[@VeeFerns]

I'm autistic and say club penguin under my breath all the time

[@slauthordraws3363]

i found your content fairly recently and it’s hard to imagine there ever being a time when you didn’t accept yourself as a dog

[@dribanlycan]

as an autistic person who is also very animal-brained, there is a part of me that wonders if being more connected to dogs and cats growing up than other kids, relating to the way their senseitive to noises, sounds, smells, etc, the way they want to play, the way they communicate without speaking, and it feels more comfortable than being forced to be a allistic human. i cant remember a time when a cat forced me to be anything, and now i squint blink at people i like

[@EliasPluto]

I’m not used to seeing people like you being more known in commentary spaces like this :) I’m not even therian, nor do I know any people who have these experiences but it’s weirdly comforting I’m glad you’re being so you, makes me feel more comfortable exploring my own niche weird experiences of the world like xenogenders and stuff. I’m sure many others feel the same way, probably more I’m glad to see things like this slightly more normalised :)

[@jettjame]

I have a lion fursona, and I’ve gotten into the habit of meowing like a cat. It started when I saw a furry ASMR video in which the fursuiter behind the mic started purring like a cat. I wasn’t aware that was possible to do, and I was immediately floored when I tried it myself and it sounded like purring. Eventually, this turned into meowing, too, usually reserved for posting audio recordings for my private twitter, or later, to be cute around my partner, but eventually the meowing turned into a natural response I have to things. It’s an urge I have to consciously suppress sometimes. There’s been many times where I’ve almost meowed in public but quickly stopped myself, resulting in this weird “mrr-“ noise, as I start meowing before cutting it off abruptly. Given that I watch your videos, it kinda goes without saying that I was diagnosed with autism at a young age. So I’d say it’s pretty likely that my meowing and your barking are both some sort of vocal stimming thing. As for the more bizarre things like the phantom tail you’ve experienced, I feel like that could be a type of placebo effect. If your mind really wants something to be true, then it’ll make it true. I’ve seen people I know on twitter describe similar things.

[@h_am_bur_ger]

lions meow?

[@jettjame]

@@h_am_bur_ger no lol. also wow this comment i made sucks. my suggestions for what Patricia’s phenomenons were honestly come off as rly invalidating since then ive come to the conclusion that im probably not therian. im just an autistic furry that likes the idea of being a big lion person. i haven’t felt dysphoric in the body i have now or anything

[@k.ebartlett1830]

Damn, put it into words better than we ever have.

[@BlackReshiram]

man i relate to this video so hard, except its for me being a dinosaur. yes, you read me right. and sometimes just a lizard. its really fucking weird and makes me feel strange sometimes but like- im not hurting anyone with it right? so why would it be bad? its not like im not aware of my human body's limits so... might be because of my mental illness as well. not necessarily, but its possible it plays into it. idk man im just trying to find a way to understand myself better. at the end of the day i think youre a good dog, patricia :> if it means anything coming from a reptile lmao

[@MadelineMyujikaru]

Guess I'm a year late to noticing that I'm something close to what this video describes. well shit. Only real difference is that I'm neurotypical (far as I'm aware) so there's probably come differences but the broad strokes are the same. I think of myself as a fox rather than human and have some fox-like behaviors that my friends comment on frequently

[@TorutheRedFox]

i rarely get a phantom tail, but i get phantom ears all the time, and the larger movements that they'd make are mirrored by my actual ears (bc i can wiggle them and shit), and i have similar reactions to things like loud sounds and stuff as an animal would (ears back and look at source of sound but not in fear)

[@ArlauxWitchdog]

A lot of these are signs of autism, even the chewing on things and sound making (barking). You can actually find chew toys for kids and adults with autism because it’s really just a fixation on needing to do or move something being focused on the mouth. Chewing is often a way to calm down from overstimulation and helps the mind focus on something. Ark Therapeutics produces a good selection of ‘chewelry’ and other chewable items. I do wonder if phantom tail stuff is related to our existence as primates and our brains still have leftover methods of mentally envisioning tails, though it could also just be that the human ability for subconscious and conscious creation of ‘non-real’ stimuli is really great, which it undoubtedly is. I think the latter is more likely since people can also experience phantom wings? Which is even more odd because there are no wings even close to our biological lineage as a species! But idk, I’m not the brightest and the totality of the human experience is beyond my level of comprehension. I do know however that it seems somewhat natural to feel a little other than human, or at least it makes sense and feels normal to me. I have no clue if others feel the same way about it. I am though highly excited for Freedom of Form’s research into making furries real as in genetically and manually editing humans to make them into furries like creating longer denser softer body hair that acts more like fur or allowing for the development of feathers, building new biological muscles for biological tail use and control, and refashioning bones to make them look more like a chosen species.

[@vacantvisionary]

i wish i could purr

[@vacantvisionary]

is this mostly just a desire for a vocal stim that stims my whole body? yes, probably. but i wish you my autistic best nonetheless.

[@ender691]

you can i think

[@pinkajou656]

you can learn how to purr- it’s not that hard! only problem is you can only do it for as long as you can breathe out before having to take a breath again. the best way I can describe it is that it’s similar to gargling water, in that same place in your throat. try your best you can do it 👍

[@CaptainZlex]

I'm not autistic myself (never diagnosed or had a reason to seek a diagnosis) and I'm noticing ALOT of similarities between this video and myself.

[@snrken]

watching your videos and hearing you refer to yourself in that way was such a like awakening for me its so awesome and it makes me happy

[@QuintonMurdock]

Over the past couple days there has been so much stuff I have been noticing or remembering or remembering that I’m masking or friends explaining their experience or realizing connections between idiosyncrasies and as things go on and I think of it more I have come to the precipice of accepting that I’m probably a therian. Ish…it’s me, I do everything slightly wrong

[@hamburger7243]

this is exactly how i feel. like…thank you for putting this into words

[@dakedres]

I also get the tail phantom limb syndrome from time to time, and I have a friend with multiple phantom limbs like that

[@hollisterlasers-ion8939]

I don't experience this, but god am I happy to live in a world where such different people than me exist. How amazingly beautiful is our diversity, that there are beings like you who live in a body that looks like mine, but feel so different inside. I wish that people weren't awful to you about it and that you could embrace it fully.

[@SnufflySpy]

Mad respect for being able to share that. I'd assume it might be a little scary, not knowing how the "internet" would react to such information, but I honestly am intrigued more than anything. Hope me saying that isn't weird

[@makorays]

i have a similarly bizarre sense of dysphoria where i'm kind of uncomfortable with the fact that i'm a human being made out of meat. not to mention plenty of super specific gender dysphoria, i'm uncomfortable being too masculine OR too feminine, so traditional trans healthcare doesn't really work for me. i would much rather just be some sort of sexy androgynous anthropomorphic robot or something like that, and even as a kid i've had fantasies of being able to upload my mind into a robot body. my friend once told me he wonders if i was an ai in a past life or something like that. i don't know why it's possible for people to feel these kinds of things.

[@cookietehcat]

I've had very similar experiences but with cats instead, for me personally, the best course of action I've taken is to embrace it wholeheartedly. Nothing that stems from it for is stuff I'd consider harmful, only as so far as how people may judge me for it. It's not really as if I could change a lot of it either, cause as you said a lot is related to psychological stuff going on in my funky brain. I genuinely don't think I'd of gone down the road of finding out I was autistic (having evaded diagnosis as a kid, somehow) if I never became a furry a few years ago, it led to a level of self-awareness and comfort I didn't think was possible from a fandom i used to feel very skeptical and critical towards as a teen. It's been such a beautiful avenue for self discovery that I've finally started to feel comfortable with who I am and everything about me, which for the majority of my life I felt necessary to hide as much as possible to keep up the perception people had of me. The horrible discourse around otherkin/therian stuff from back in the "edgy" phase has undoubtedly done damage to the discourse surrounding these feelings and sensations, which if I had to guess a lot of those comments are from the continued after-effect of all that. I've had to do a lot of self-reflection to even unpack a lot of the stuff I internalized from how much it was drilled into my brain from peers and the people I looked up to at the time. I can only hope that with time, it'll start to be unraveled and more looked at with more genuine interest and curiosity to understand it rather than dismissive and horrid remarks at the expense of people that really aren't causing any harm.

[@sillysalmon208]

I love that you say things like puppyhood and paws. "Back when I was a puppy" is so good, I don't know how to explain it

[@PixPMusic]

> is my dysphoria just autism Yes and no-psychology says if you have one, test for the other. Gender dysphoria and autism are highly comorbid. That would extend to species dysphoria. It doesn’t really matter why it’s happening, what’s important is that you understand there’s an incongruence and you understand that there are therapies-HRT, getting a dog bed-that will help with things.

[@sprigtherecluse6741]

i feel this so hard, but its even harder to tell what the hell is going on in my brain cus i just wanna be a being of like pure energy, not have to worry abt a physical form, be able to change my appearance at will, so i can go and be mischievous and silly as i wish. like idk even what to call it, but it hurts knowing ill never get that, and knowing neurotypicals will never get to see me as i am.

[@CrimyAndTheMoonphases]

I like kinda feel like this but not Like I know anatomically I am human but I feel so disconnected from humanity where it's really hard to see myself as human, though I don't really feel like a certain animal or anything I just kinda like feel like a parasitic/possessive force piloting a corpse, though I know I'm not anatomically dead. I also am autistic

[@hildat5357]

Thats otherkin I guess

[@hildat5357]

Zombiekin maybe

[@weirdnerdygoat]

you could try find a specific kintype, but if you wanted to label yourself just using nonhuman or alterhuman would work perfectly! though also you don't have to use a label like that, only if you're interested

[@brookejon3695]

I wag my tail often

[@sapphireaurora9634]

My philosophy has always been "as long as you're not hurting yourself or others I don't care, you do you boo" kinda thing. I have multiple friends very similar like my friend wolf who is also just a puppy. So power to you for saying this and embracing it

[@LoganDark4357]

species dysphoria... is something I know very well I am an Umbreon, the host body is not anything of mine, _my_ body is that of an Umbreon, because the Umbreon is _me_ though, I'm not a bipedal Umbreon, I'm fully feral, and honestly, being fully feral is really important to me... I don't even call myself a therian, because therian implies some level of humanity ("anthropy"), which I do not identify with whatsoever I exclusively use the term otherkin, which feels like a very nice word... it effectively communicates that I identify in a way that doesn't match the host body, but without bringing attention to what the host body actually is, because the only thing that matters is that the host body is wrong and that I'm just an Umbreon (and I guess also I'm in a plural system of like 7-10 other otherkin, but I don't know if I can speak for them, hehe )

[@aquamarinerose5405]

I think I'd personally lean more towards it just being an autism thing, though at the same time the idea that it's a little bit of both KINDA makes sense?... Though less that it's anything more distinct as though it can be diagnosed as a specific form of autism and more a way that autistic tendencies can manifest alongside the general fact that we're wired differently (I'm ALSO autistic and a furry). Sometimes there are aspects of our minds that we're able to conceptualize when attaching it to something else we already understand. Connecting our idiosyncrasies to concepts we already understand. So If we closely associate ourselves with a specific animal like a dog, that might shape our mind and our idiosyncrasies in that direction. Also, we might choose a fursona that closely connects to our personalities as is. So it's a bit of a chicken vs egg question of whether your autistic tendencies and dog-like personality traits are because you're a dog, or if you chose a dog as your species/persona/fursona because you have dog-like traits in your personality to begin with. Like, for me I know very obviously the "order" of operations, where my love of water and desire to explore the ocean made Aquamarine into a Water Dragon. Rather than me liking water because I'm some water dragon in disguise. Though those can become muddier if your species choice and 'inhuman' personality traits more closely match.

[@ItsPascaltheOtter]

Yeah, I used to wonder if I was otherkin/therian for a little while, I felt the same in regards to making animalistic noises every now and then and behaviors not unlike an otters (also, the phantom limb syndrome over the lack of tail hits me hard). I kinda just came to the conclusion that I wasn't therian cause a lot of it also seemed to be with a ton spirituality and stuff that would borderline on cultural appropriation which made me really uncomfortable, plus a lot of it just took being a literal animal to an extreme that I just didn't identify with. I feel more euphoric knowing that I should have been born an anthropomorphic otter, and that I experience species dysphoria along with gender dysphoria. That just simply feels right for me.

[@Painocus]

I never understood the "It's cultural appropriation to feel you have the soul of an animal, because spirit-animals" thing. Not only does that claim misunderstand what actual Native American spirit-animal beliefs are, showing more than anything only a vauge understanding of like the Hollywood depictions of it, and ignore that other cultures have had similar beliefs (like the Norse Fylgja, which if anything was closer to what they are thinking of than actual Native totem animals are), but even if it was accurate that would be like saying being trans is appropriating two-spirit people. As in; wouldn't it be like extreamly racist to just assume that Native American couldn't possibly have figured out something about human experience, but because white people hadn't recognized it yet therefore they would have to just have made it up? And it also assumes that all otherkin/therians have to be faking it and just copying Native Americans (who are also faking it according to them?) Like that whole take has extreme "white person who knows nothing about Native American culture, but still want to speak on their behalf" energy and if I were you I'd disregard anything those people say on native issues.

[@solthas]

I've been feeling that way about not feeling myself. It's... uncomfortable sometimes to write like this. Clearly and to the point, as if I were a single person and not a collection of scattered thoughts.

[@a-love-supreme]

when you started using dog words for yourself in the marble video, my Very Nearly A Neurotypical reaction was pretty much "thats rad thats cool as hell"

[@eclipsegaleocerdo]

You are not hurting anyone by just being yourself (everything included in the video ofc) ♥️

[@Fiddledo]

We're a plural system that is incredibly non-human. We're a system of cats (myself included!) and one honorary cat who is actually a Venus Flytrap dragon creature (they are precious and I wish I could explain it better then what I just did)! All of us are capable of feeling phantom limbs/phantom sense and to some degree experience species dysphoria. I think personally, the plant and I experience it the most. I can relate to everything in this video and I feel like having discovered everything about myself, I can be more comfortable feeling the way I do and accepting that I am very much just a cat trying to make her way through the craziness of this human world.

[@kiiroendings2542]

Its just cute as well. Thats a positive.

[@lizard-teeth5364]

I sorta feel this to an extent. It’s more so when I get very stressed, (but sometimes it’s unprompted) but imagining myself as a lizard, usually as either a Totodile or this small dinosaur character I have, I just feel a bit more comforted and happy with myself. I sometimes find myself wishing I had some sort of tail and that I was smaller, that I could be more like these characters I like

[@AmbrosiaPoly-yolkEgg]

Brains weird, funny flesh ball in head os very complex, and in attemps to understand it fully, people tend to close their minds to traits that deviate from the mode. I've accepted that I'll never fully understand the human brain, nor do I need to, just need to understand myself and that others can be operating on completely alien frameworks to my own.

[@finalfrostfall670]

After watching this I had a flash back to 'Catch These Hands' from the Pix & Bit album I always listen to on repeat while I go on long walks. Lyrically I always theorized the song to be a resume for a potential partner. I have seen all your video essays and I don't recall a time where you referred to your paws as hands. If those hands are not yours then perhaps Pix & Bit are catching each others hands since they are girlfriends.

[@Dreadythedread]

context: was diagnosed when i was 7, rediagnosed at 12 and again the last time at 22. Have known I was on the spectrum since I was a kid, and living as someone in their 30s with autism. "Ultimately I feel like I wont be happy as long as neurotypical people are able to recognize me being the same species as them" I'm worried that this phrase, even if slightly exaggerated, leads to madness and despair. There is no way to really achieve this, and I might just be taking this at face value or too literally, but the way I understand this phrase is "I feel like I won't be happy", because like really, there's no practical way to achieve unrecognizability from humans. And while I really really empathize with this feeling, I think it's important that the narratives we tell about ourselves, leave some kind of possibility for happiness. As an audience member, I don't really have any way to say anything, but I really hope you have a therapist, or a friend(s) who are close enough to you, that they will challenge your perception, but also embrace that you are trans-animal, without trying to change you or denying your identity. I hope you don't use YT rants or Twitter, as a substitute for talking to someone, and I don't hope you let the comment section be an echo chamber. TL;DR I think that putting limitations on what needs to happen in order to be happy tends to just make you miserable, no matter what it is