🇺🇸 AMERICAN Families vs BRITISH Families 🇬🇧

We discuss our perceived differences between American families and British families. Let us know what your thoughts are!
#AmericanFamilies #BritishFamilies #Parenting
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Hello! We are Joel & Lia. We post videos every week, all about British culture, British accents and the English language! We live in London and love sharing our top travel tips in the UK and abroad. As well as being best friends we share a passion for language, different accents and all things British. With past and future trips to the USA, lots of our content is American vs British.
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[@ThoseTwoBrits1]

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[@micahwoodard]

The purpose of being told to respect your elders isn't to say that they're smarter or innately deserve more respect than young people. It's just a reminder that they're more experienced in life as a whole - they've lived it longer than you have. I see the purpose of being told to respect your elders as a way to remind younger generations that old people's life experiences have value and that you could probably learn from them. Growing old is hard enough on its own, but growing old and feeling like young people don't value your life makes it so much harder. They feel they're irrelevant and like nobody cares about their life journey. I love talking to old people! I've heard some of the craziest and most interesting stories from them.

[@lizard6444]

Wonderful comment! Great explanation 👍 so true

[@s.akhtarjoomun263]

Thank you for this nice and true comment. It means a lot.

[@pryorbishop2957]

Beautifully written. Brought tears to my eyes.

[@dl7562]

Very true.

[@melanieross7950]

Families in the US only eat breakfast together in the movies. Most families are on the go in the morning. We tend to eat breakfast together on the weekends.

[@AztlanViva]

Must be a city folks thing. I grew up on a farm in the south. Always ate dinner (noon meal) and supper (evening meal) as a family. Not mandatory, but just expected. Never wanted to miss a meal as Momma was a fantastic southern cook. I really didn't think about it being family time around the dinner table. It was just daily life as I knew it. Plus it was the same for everyone I knew. Both parents are gone now and I miss 'em both so much. So grateful I grew up when I did and for the memories I have of those days.

[@VRDennis]

@@AztlanViva they said breakfast nothing about the other two meals of the day. I agree with them. Most people are not eating breakfast together Monday through Friday

[@MonicaTRodriguez]

I laugh every time they say, "I don't know if this is just in the movies, but..." YES, IT'S JUST IN THE MOVIES! Are movies set in Britain all accurate? Of course we're not like the movies portray us. LOL Too funny.

[@colbymcarthur7871]

@@AztlanViva I’m from a Midwestern farming family and we always do supper, breakfast if possible, and occasionally lunch (because we’re usually scattered during the day) together- so interesting to see the difference

[@alyshawoodard2460]

I'm from southern Illinois and we rarely ate breakfast together as a family growing up, but my husband and I make it a point to have breakfast and dinner together at the table and I think it is so important to our relationship with our kids. I love that we do this.

[@4evermistyblu]

I’m Black American and I say grace over my snacks!!! I pray over EVERYTHANG🤣 But yes we are taught Family over EVERYTHING!!! Eating dinner fellowshipping together is so very important.

[@loriserna]

Hi Joel and Lia! As an American child growing up in 70’s/80’s and living at home, every nights dinner we were all there, non negotiable. As an adult, it was every Sunday dinner until my mom passed away. My sister and I love to share a meal and thanksgiving together with our families. We try and get everyone around a table. Not sure why, it just feels right.

[@Trifler500]

We often sat around the TV as a family, but we always ate together.

[@marenbrekke]

Same with my family.

[@paulguise698]

Hiya Lori, do you have Sunday dinner every Sunday?

[@paulguise698]

Hiya Lori, you should vlog yourself making and eating a British Sunday Roast, I watched a vlog this American chef made Macaroni Cheese saying "THIS IS A GENUINE BRITISH SUNDAY ROAST"I thought she was going to have macaroni cheese as a starter, not as a main course

[@dane3165]

Ate dinner together as a family regardless of what time my father came home at the dinner table. Ate every Sunday breakfast and supper as a family and every Sunday Dinner as a family until we moved away. Every Sunday is family day, traditions are very grounding regardless of how busy our lives get.

[@Brooksie603]

I remember growing up we only ate breakfast together on the weekends since my father left for work at 5am. We always sat at the table for dinner. It was when we caught up with how our day went. It was nice.

[@SuperDrLisa]

My parents didn't like when i brought home a dissected frog in a jar and decided to show at the dinner table, lol

[@chrismeche206]

We still do it today. I'm currently telling my kids to put their phones away at the table, and I set the example by turning mine off. It's my time to learn about their day.

[@tans3015]

"Ma'am" and "Sir" is more of a Southern aspect of greeting parents. Most of the country doesn't use this, it is mom or dad. However, you will occasionally show this type of affectation towards an elderly woman or man.

[@PNL-DJ-1]

It is, “Yes, Please” and “No, Thank You”. No Ma’am’s or Sirs in our house or when I grew up. Ma’am and Sir are subservient like British Culture with the aristocracy.

[@AztlanViva]

@@PNL-DJ-1 Sorry Paul, but it has nothing to do with being subservient. I'm a retired middle school teacher, but during my days in the classroom I frequently addressed my students as "ma'am" or "sir." And in no way did I feel subservient to those young'uns. I know addressing someone as "ma'am" and "sir" has all but become a regional thing in the U.S. However it's still considered good manners in these parts. There's no hidden meaning or connotation when used. Needless to say I live in the south (Kentucky).

[@5tran9eMCMLXXII]

It's not uncommon in military families.

[@PNL-DJ-1]

@@AztlanViva - I live in the South too and in my family and my Southern wife’s family it has both been, “Yes, please, and No, thank you”. My parents are Mom and Dad, not Sir and Ma’am. Our neighbors were Mr Smith and Mrs Smith not Mr Ron or Ms Wanda. Yes Sir and Yes Ma’am are a hold over from Antebellum Wealthy Southern Land Owner days which is a hold over from British Colonial days and Great Britain’s aristocracy. Oh, and I hope COVID-19 breaks the South from hugging instead of shaking hands.

[@heidimarchant5438]

@@PNL-DJ-1 and this is why the north and the south still don't get along. Our respectful ways apply to everyone not just a certain type of people.

[@crimson_sakura4197]

The respect thing is less about your parents being older, it's more about the fact that they're your parents and they made, raised, and provide for you, which makes them more deserving of respect.

[@emerald637]

American confidence: You have to be in it to win it.

[@mlt1107]

We say… “look there’s a squirrel!!!” When someone abruptly changes the subject… But Now, I’m going to say the ‘shiny penny’ !!!

[@MichelleNixonphoto]

Look! A bird!

[@leigheppley5916]

Yes! "Squirrel!" "Sorry, Squirrel" lol

[@AndySaputo]

American here. My friends and I call it "shiny object".

[@MonicaTRodriguez]

@@AndySaputo That's hilarious! I love this shiny penny phrase.

[@colettemurphy959]

Family breakfast is not a thing for anyone I know except on the weekends then it’s really more of a brunch. However most families I know eat family dinner every night even if it has to be later than usual.

[@familybills2908]

Same.

[@Nechama-redfish1124]

yep, here too.

[@MsPrecious61]

Weekends when our son is home from college.

[@dorothypaul4642]

"Deluded, but in a good way" lol! I enjoyed this video so much. The part at 8:40 where Lia says "You are capable of anything" with angel music and beams of heavenly light totally cracked me up! This was a great start to my Sunday! Thanks guys!

[@bryncraigracing]

I love the content and who doesn't love a good tangent from Joel and Lia

[@tammycosby4495]

There is so much variety in this one. As a child in the 70s, we ate supper (what some call dinner) together every night. We had lunch on Sundays at my great grandparents house, with dozens of cousins who sometimes brought friends. Since my grandparents and mother passed, we don’t do the extended family thing at all. A lot of my friends say the same about their families. It’s like our generation just stopped being so connected. On a semi-related note, I don’t know anybody who has a sit down breakfast with their families. Sometimes they may eat their pop tarts together in the car but that’s about it. Now the biggest thing - respect. I don’t disagree that everyone deserves respect. I was, however, extremely offended by Joel’s comment about 25 yo computer whiz deserving more respect that a 50 yo who doesn’t know how to use a computer. That 50 yo may not know a specific skill but he/she has experienced and survived a lot more than the 25yo has, even if the kid has had a more “exciting” life. Respect for older people comes from the Bible, as well as various Asian cultures/religions. Older people just have more experience and wisdom, which is not the same as knowledge. (Aside from that, who the H does he think INVENTED and developed computers? All the big names are over 60, if not deceased.)

[@familybills2908]

In our family we ate together and prayed before every meal. We had family time, and time for ourselves as well. We went to church - Sun and Wed. We went on holidays together. Had big Thanksgiving family get togethers, and family Christmas parties, and Easter. It’s the same now that I have children. Recognizing and fostering confidence in children is very important to most parents/families, however there are some families that don’t make this a priority - those are usually the same parents that don’t emphasize academics/extra curricular activities. We def referred to my parents as ‘mam’ and ‘sir’, and there was great importance placed on honoring your elders - it doesn’t mean that all people don’t deserve respect - it’s just that elders guide and teach younger people things they do not yet know - elders teach what respect is in ways you only understand once you are older.

[@bridgetgrimes7524]

Breakfast everyone together. Only in movies unless it's a weekend, Dad made pancakes dinner together every night. We also celebrate birthdays what would you like for your birthday dinner, yes there were kid parties but this was a family dinner for you. Loved it, wanted pizza it was ordered and we eat it, sisters had their favorite so did parents we celebrated grandparents bdays this way too. This continued even when we were grown. Meet at the house of the bday person, have dinner together. Now many family members are gone when we do get together we discuss those moments. It makes a family closer when it's over it's messed.

[@heidimcguire5996]

Cracks me up how hard it seems that Joel struggles when he tries to sound American😀

[@michaelmullard4292]

Hey Guys: What John Ley said below is spot on. It depends on where in the US you live. Everything you said about British families could also apply here. But it’s always fun to explore cultural differences!

[@paulobrien9572]

Definitely sounds like you guys binge watched a bunch of early family TV like the Waltons, Leave it to Beaver and the Brady Bunch when it's more like Married with Children and Modern Family in real life

[@kimmycupreacts]

Definitely modern family 🤣

[@kenb3552]

Nope - not my family. More like the Brady bunch. Every dinner together every night.

[@rustydog1236]

Dinners More like leave it to Beavet except we laughed a lot more at dinner. We did formally though.

[@becky_1919]

LoL!! too true

[@courtneypuzzo2502]

@Paul O'Brien the Walton's ran from 1972 to 1981 Leave It To Beaver was first running from 1957-1963 Brady Bunch came in 1969 and ran until 1974 yeah in some instances life is closer to Married With Children or Modern Family though not always mine growing up was like a cross between The Bundy's and Leave It To Beaver

[@AyeeeItsCam]

I feel like this mostly represented *White* American families lol. The United States is so culturally diverse that there isn't really a "typical" type of American family anymore. We're such a mix.

[@SteviePeeOutDoorLife]

The UK is also culturally diverse,

[@Kim-427]

Many of their videos force me to say my point of view because I conclude that as well.Im not a white American but my stories are apart of the American culture as well.lol

[@AyeeeItsCam]

@@SteviePeeOutDoorLife Yes, of course it is. But not on the same level as the US, or really any of the countries in the Americas

[@AyeeeItsCam]

@@Kim-427 Facts! 💯

[@saoirseedwardsoneill5807]

@@AyeeeItsCam yeah you have so many cultures and you suppress them all

[@marenbrekke]

My husband and I have breakfast together every Saturday and Sunday and we often have our kids and grandchildren over for Sunday breakfast. We also eat dinner together every night. We prepare 95% of our meals at home so it is just natural for us to eat together.

[@Kim-427]

Here goes one of us older people.lol What's funny is younger people have a problem with giving older people kudos.But,Whats funny is they will be older and want their kudos when their time comes.Joel your analogy about the computer doesnt wash.Because a 50 year old can learn how to use it.There will be things that in our younger years we just don't understand until you get older and have had many experiences in life. I do think older people do know more.You've just been here long enough to have been exposed to many things and because of that you obtain so much information and understanding of many things you just could not comprehend when you are younger.

[@peggiescraftcafe7117]

Agreed. So well put.

[@Kim-427]

@@peggiescraftcafe7117 Thanks Love!

[@HeWhoComments]

I’m from Texas and I say “yes ma’am/no ma’am” and “yessir/no sir” to almost everyone, even my peers

[@joyhudspeth9547]

Same! 🙋🏾‍♀️

[@liesahernandez1609]

But not your parents! They are called mom and dad! That’s crazy people calling their parents Ma’am and sir!

[@jeremycrawford5934]

I was raised to always say that. If we didn’t say ma’am or sir the first step was the “death stare”, if we forgot a second time it was usually a smack across the face, if we continued not to say it we were just whooped with a belt. I was the youngest of my siblings so I learned from their mistakes.😂

[@jeffmalone5557]

Same for me in Alabama. I called my parents Mom/Momma and Dad but when I answered questions from them I always responded with Yes/No Ma'am/Sir. For instance, Dad: "Did you go to your grandma's and cut her grass?" Me: "Yes Sir."

[@michaelevans1193]

Shiny penny syndrome: aka “Squirrel!” (See Dug from “Up”).

[@kenbrown2808]

and then there's the ultimate weapon of distraction: the shiny squirrel.

[@pcfulgrl33]

I haven't watched in a but and just realized that I kind of missed you. Nice to see you enjoying each other again.

[@kimreese3530]

When you talk about showing appreciation and love and brought up Prince Charles I immediately thought of Prince William. I heard William praising Kate in an interview, saying what a wonderful wife and mum she is. Maybe that’s one reason I like him. Every family in America is different, but I do think on a whole Americans are more positive.

[@florencealvarez2123]

That was a very interesting conversation. The Ma’am and Sir is more a southern thing. Not all families are cohesive, confident. Some have horrible situations. Most people immigrated to the US in poverty, so toes the positive self talk and a focus on education - the way out of poverty is stressed.

[@ireneteaches8994]

"Focus on education" is not so straightforward. Like, why is elementary education in the US so horrible if that is actually true? The reason is that there's another POV, arguably much worse, which is that elementary education is about making the kids feel good instead of actually teaching them anything.

[@kita3256]

Mexican American families are a whole other thing lol. Because we are such a melting pot, every family is just so different but beautiful.

[@sincerely_evelyn]

Absolutely! Was about to comment that.

[@beckyhenderson5350]

Latin families whether it be Spain Mexico Puerto Rico Columbia Venezuela Cuba they all have a special bond they may do things differently but the same and they are so amazing and beautiful❤️❤️❤️

[@Kim-427]

I was going to say the same about AA families.Its different but somewhat the same.

[@AyeeeItsCam]

@@beckyhenderson5350 wouldn't necessarily call Spain Latin/Latino...

[@beckyhenderson5350]

@@AyeeeItsCam Why wouldn’t you

[@johnley5200]

Wow. So many things to comment on. Almost every sentence you said would be worth a video all by itself. I guess the main thing I want to say is that some of your thoughts of the American Family come from the Leave it to Beaver TV show type thing. It's an ideal picture. But then again it depends. Probably the biggest thing that it would depend on his where you were raised. If you're in a large city it's definitely one way but if you're in the country or a rural area it's a different way. I think people in the country would be more like what you were describing than people in the city. But again, it depends. I'll bet it depends a lot and varies a lot in Great Britain, too. Okay... I'm rambling now. Good video. Good thought. Big hugs to both of you.

[@hamblinta]

When my mother and father-in-law were alive we all got together for dinner after church on Sundays (and sometimes during the week). I miss that as my 2 children live out of state. Never take family time for granted and if you don’t get together often…start, it’s never too late.

[@lynnflynn5591]

A Brit sees an expensive sports car and thinks, "I wish I owned that car." An American sees that very same car and thinks, "Someday I'm going to own that car." Could the difference in attitude be class related?

[@kenb3552]

When I grew up - we all ate dinner together around the dining room table - EVERY night. All eight of us. No TV, no radio. And every Sunday at noon after church too. We also said grace before dinner (but not breakfast or lunch). I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world.

[@sandypope6366]

Hmmmm.... American families don't always eat meals together. This is a lot less common and less traditional in current times. Exceptions might be holiday celebrations, birthdays and other special occasions.

[@tans3015]

I think everyone thinks their own country is the best. At least until they have lived long enough to realize no country is actually the center of the universe.

[@rochellejohnson5534]

Lia you could be like the person who made the movie my big fat Greek wedding but she's actually Canadian that movie was just filmed partly in the US

[@rebeccacorbin1590]

Rarely had breakfast together but ALWAYS ALWAYS had dinner together during the week. Sunday dinner was also a thing that went on until parents passed away when I was in my 30s.

[@M11969]

Ma'am and sir are expressions of respect.

[@MsPrecious61]

Yes and it is mainly in the south.

[@mr.balloffur]

That would be so awesome to have a TV show on ITV where families swap like wife swap but family swap!

[@jessicaowen2603]

I just love you two, you’re such lovely people. I enjoy your videos so much.

[@SuperDrLisa]

My family it was mom and daddy. This is 60 years ago but my grand nieces kids it's mommy and daddy. We always are respectful to the elderly, help them at the store, to cross a street. If a a man or woman has a hat that depicts you were a soldier you ALWAYS say thank you for your service. I am first generation American so some of this comes from Germany. You followed rules as a child. First in my family to go to college. My daddy was a toolmaker born in Germany went to 8th grade, ended up owning 2 businesses making jewelry chain. We ate dinner together every night, we did not say grace. Many times daddy went back to work. My mom didn't think I'd tough out moving 700 miles away to go to chiropractic school. But I did. Girls were not expected to go to higher education. About compliments i give them frequently. Nice hair, look pretty in that dress, let me help you, etc. I saw z young man give a middle aged woman a cart at the grocery store because she had 2 bags I said we need more nice people like that. She agreed. I thank the employee at the drive thru the Dunkin drive-thru. Just automatic thank yous.

[@bradjensen4927]

You two could learn a lot from Laurence from "Lost in the Pond", a Brit who actually knows America because he's lived here for over 10 years.

[@MichaelaBourbeau]

Growing up dinner every night was non negotiable. Sit down and have dinner together, talk about our days, decompress and chit chat- NO PHONES at the table. Even now, my husband and I eat dinner together every night, try not to have the TV on or phones either, catch up on our days. Weekends we do a nice home cooked breakfast.

[@robinspalt2511]

Good video, enjoyed very much. I was raised in the city but my dad taught us to use manners. They were important to him. We did say mom and dad but when answering a question it would be yes sir or yes ma’am. My dad said good manners and respect costs a person nothing but will get you so much farther in life than money a lot of the time. Also, not that it matters but I’m not from the south either. My son uses manners also and I do notice most children these days do not. It’s whatever you were taught growing up.

[@klarrisawilson9093]

i’m american and can say nobody in my family has ever gone around the table saying what they’re thankful for on thanksgiving. except when it’s 10 hours later then we’re all thankful for leftovers. we used to do that in school though and it was super awkward.

[@415megan]

We definitely don’t eat breakfast together. Like you running out the door with a piece of toast. Occasionally we have brunch on the weekends, but I haven’t even done that with my family in years!

[@5tran9eMCMLXXII]

Beat me to it.

[@derred723]

Something you said resonated with me around 8:35 with the inner voice is positive and then i rewind back to your points about young kids. It had me thinking. American kids are VERY much taught "you can do it", "you have to learn to get over obstacles", and a parent that tells his kid "you'll never amount to anything" or that sort of stuff is considered a horrible parent in the U.S. And i think what your hitting on in adults, that "i can get over an obstacle" attitude is the product of positive messages they receive as children. And to that point i think, the lack of that positive parenting is also apparent in many many impoverished kids that grow up in an unhealthy parental environment.

[@dobiebloke9311]

J&L - In the States (just my experiences and impressions), on school days, most kids sit down and have a bowl of cold cereal, maybe with a banana, strawberries or blueberries strewn on top, and then it's out the door. Some kids will just grab a piece of fruit and/or toast on the way out the door. During winter, it might be oatmeal. During summer vacation or any vacation week, breakfasts might be a little more involved. Maybe pancakes or waffles, with bacon or sausage, or maybe homefries and eggs. On weekends, such breakfasts are quite common, even during the school year, perhaps with the addition of homemade biscuits (very close to what a scone is to you), or hard rolls and pastries from the local bakery. As to dinner, some families sit down together each night, but many don't. The younger the kids are, the more likely that everyone sits down together. As they get older, it is less likely to be, as older kids have things to do. Most families do have at least one dinner together, usually Sunday evening, very similar to what I think you Brits call a Sunday roast. It's usually a pretty big deal. As to kids calling their parents Sir or M'am, that's pretty rare, as an everyday thing. If done tho, it's usually found in the South, or in more well to do families, anywhere. Still, it's quite rare unless a kid is being called on the carpet for misbehavor, in which case it's advised, but I don't think often suggested by the parents, let alone insisted upon, to call them Sir or M'am. As a kid, I was always taught to address my 'elders', as Sir or M'am, unless they were relatives or neighbors, or people I interacted with more or less on a daily basis, other than for teachers, or any adult, if they insisted. I had one neighbor, who insisted I call him Mr Wilson (even tho his last name was Elliot - just a joke), but I didn't have much to do with him (as he was a mean old bastard anyway), but if that's what he wanted, that's what I did. Even my father called him Mr Wilson, on the rare times they ever saw each other, being next door neighbors. Part two, next.

[@dobiebloke9311]

J&L - From here on out, TL/DR - too long, didn't read - warning. This will not be short. Read at your own risk, but don't bitch to me about it. You have been warned, and it could be worse. Yes, that is a threat. I had numerous other neighbors (this was in a suburban setting), usually the parents of friends of mine, but not exculsively, who I would knock on their door (if I remembered to), and say Hi Dot, Hey Bill, is Marky around? for example. Unless in the presence of an adult I didn't know, or I was being contrite, I didn't call them Sir or M'am, Mr or Mrs. I might refer to them as such, to other adults, but never to their face. They would have deemed it as an insult, or at least would have asked, What's the matter dobie? Even Aunts and Uncles that I saw frequently, I always addressed as Aunt Joan, Uncle Ed, whatever, at first greeting. I would then call them by their first name until they headed for home - great to see you Aunt Joan, Uncle Ed. I don't think my parents ever asked me to, but rather it was just something that I thought was right to do. My father was the lead Architect for a troupe of about 20 or 30, depending on the job. All designs went thru him, but as well, he was an active member, in terms of design, in fact, the source of a sense of where to go with it, came from him. Not exclusively, as he relied on others. but you had to get past him for your idea to fly. He counted on it, that you would try to (that I remember). It was always about team, even if he was ultimately responsable, as he couldn't have thought up all this stuff himself, and he well knew it. He was a talented but humble man, and a pretty good leader. From the age of four or five, even before I was in Kindergarten, he would bring me to work with him (to Manhattan), particularly on Saturdays, if he had extra work to do (knowing how I liked to cling to him). I was not the 'priveledged' kid, as I earned my way, and by the age of 6 or 7, I had stripes enough to pull Blue Prints that were larger than I was tall, but I could make them 'un-wrinkled', which was paramount. As well, I could copy and corrolate 30 copies of a thirty page report, blindfolded. I was useful, and invited back often. My father, his business actually, always paid me the going rate, which to a kid like me, was big money. I''d spend half the day doing that, and the other half, just being a kid. I was allowed to go to Central Park (at first, only), and wander around as I cared to, many decades before cell phones. He'd always stuff two five dollar bills in my pocket, in case I needed them, above what ever pay I was due. Let's not forget, as a kid, I got about 25 cents a week allowance. But in Manhattan, things were a bit bass akward. On the ride home, I would offer him back the change, usually about 9 dollars and some odd cents, but he'd rufuse it, saying, just keep it for the next time, which I did. Next time, he'd stuff another few fivers down my pocket, wishing me luck. Try to stay out of trouble he said, knowing Manhattan was expensive, for a kid like me. Again, I would offer him the change back, but he never accepted it. Five dollars bills back in the late '50s, early '60's were well worth at least twice what they are now, probably more, perhaps as if a twenty or so.

[@dobiebloke9311]

J&L - Part 3, as apparently, well, I won't say it ..., regardeless, from the the top of the last .., By the time I was 6 years old, I always had plenty of money, by my own efforts. I didn't need the fivers of my old man's business, as I already had a twenty on me, but he didn't care, he'd give them to me anyway. The Exec Sec had a top drawer with a shoe box of fivers on the left side. On the right side, a shoe box of Broadway tickets, Yankee or Mets tickets, World's Fair tickets, or basically, what ever you wanted. My father always paid me and stuffed in more, from the shoe box of fivers, which were meant as tips to anyone who delivered any service to the office. Back in those days, that was big enough money, that everyone did their best for the tip, which they could count on, at this office. At times, I would take the lunch order, for a crew of 20 or 30, depending on the job. I would phone it in to the Deli across the street. From there, I'd take the elevator down 60 stories, cross the street, pick up lunch, haul it back up 60 floors of an elevator, and then distrubute it, all of which I would have done for free, other than I got a free lunch out of it, for my troubles. Sylvia, the Exec Sec however, would hand me five for taking the order, another five for going and picking it up. another 5 for getting it here, another 5 for distributing it, and god forbid if there was even one cole slaw missing, by which I'd make the call to the Deli, cross the street, pick it up, and deliver it, however belatedly,. all of which earned me two more fivers. Believe me, I didn't milk it, as it was just insisted upon me for being diligent. To be honest, I could make $30 for a half hours work, if not more, but I never milked it. I only did it when Sylvia was otherwise busy and people were hungry. Seriously, I didn't need the money, but I'm not gonna turn it down, nor would I expect or ask for it. Now, Sylvia's right hand drawer, was full of tickets to all things Manhattan and beyond, which was reservered for extraordinary circumstances, meaning major clients, but I was allowed to pilfer thru it as I wanted to, which I often did. My father encouraged me to, as at least he might have some clue as to where I might be, at some matinee or another. I forget, but as I barely recall, you could probably count on a Matinee, being somewhere around Noon, or so, on a Wednesday, for most Theaters. I saw lots of them. The New York World's Fair, of 1962 -64, or there abouts, was a different thing. First of all, I was 8-11 years old, or abouts, but had access to all the tickets I cared for. I didn't whore them, but rather, just gave brought friends, I said, my Dad will pay your fare, as a present to me. Meaning, a ride there and back and a bit of spending money, which is exactly what happened. That was all, and who cared? They didn't need a dime for a fine time, and they had at least a fiver on them, and more if required, so no cost out of pocket, the point. Sounds like a rich, priveledged kid to me, but I never saw it that way. I worked hard for the priveledge, which actually, I did, and I invited some friends along. So what? I never held it over anyone's head. Most of my friends had no idea what was going on. My father, who was going to Manhattan anyway, would drop us off at the Worlds Fair as he found convenient, usually, before it opened. Then after the day, at about 4 pm, I'd give him a call, and we would agree upon an approximate time for him to pick us us up, by whatever gate. Believe me, I was never late, out of respect. Many times, I did this by myself. Don't ask me why, but I did, I suppose just for the solace. Back to Sir and M'am, to whenever I got in trouble as a kid, that's how it was. I guess I just intuited that it was an act of contrition, that I realized I messed up and I'll pay the price, whatever it is. Punishments were definitly more minor if one took such a position about it. I wasn't beaten as a child, but my mother was a bit slap happy, meaning a slap to the butt or the back of the head (which ever was more convenient), but not really as a punishment, but just a reminder to pay attention, or to be polite. It was not meant to actually hurt, but rather to be a wake up call. My father only once gave me such a smack to the back of the head, and believe me, I well deserved it. About 25 years later, around a Sunday Roast dinner, my father tearfully apologized to me for doing so, saying how it had been bothering him for all these years. I reminded him of how well I deserved it and that the only reason I remember it was because it was the only time he ever did so, and by the way, you might have noticed, I don't do that anymore, so it worked. We forgave each other, of the nuisances. From my earliest memory until the day he died, my Dad would always put up a Sunday Roast dinnner, for anywhere between 12 and 30 people, usually. He was a damn fine cook (for an Architect, by trade) and he found it cathartic, theraputic to do and he loved the gathering of folks. I never missed a one, unless I was hundreds or thousands of miles away, off on some adventure. My father was an early riser, first by his nature, but as well, by that he had to be in Manhattan by 9 o'clock, at least 5 days a week. I suppose that's why I'm still an early riser, as I never wanted to miss a minute of being with him, if at all possible. Of a Saturday morning, as my brother, mother and sisters 'slept in' (for what ever need or purpose), as young as 4 years old, my father and I would meet up for an isolated breakfast, rare to find in my family of 8. By that, I learnt how to make pancakes, waffles, eggs of any kind, home fries, bacon, sausage and even cinnamon buns (and eventually, even more). By the age of six, I was capable of making breakfast for the family, which I often did, even on school days. I was often up by 6 am, at least, and I might make a 'to do' about breakfast for my sibs at any time, which earned me a lot of brownie points, in terms of them looking the other way (when I needed them to), so that I might do so once again. It was not my job, rather just something I liked, and had permission to do. Not a one of them, younger or older, even had a clue (or permission) as to how to, at the time. Get up early, I would tell them. After our 'hidden' breakfast (lessons, to me), my old man and I would head out to his other cathartic recreation, which was rebuilding, motor to boot, some old piece of crap Brit auto that he had either picked up free, or for a song, always at least 10 or more years old. I was his helper, obviously, being 5 years old at best, at first. I never have become near the mechanic he was, but I learnt enough to assuage a situation, either to repair it on the side of the road, or know when to call for help, or perhaps to abandon it, all of which I have done, many times. I've never bought a new car, even now that I can afford to, as what fun or adventure would there be in that? Better a life lived a bit on the edge, to my mind. I'm not a complete idiot about it (as I'm still missing a few pieces), but most of my cars are pretty well fitted for the journey at hand, but it doesn't always work out that way. On the other hand, you might be surprised as to some of the adventures I took, without such consideration of the crap under my seat, just as I stumbled upon it. Live and let die. Hey, I was just hitching a ride. I ended up with a car, basically, for free. Piece of crap, of course, but who am I to blow against the wind? Eventually my sibs did awake by the smells of our clandistien breakfast, and even tho a pain in my ass at the time, 60 years later, they are all decent cooks. I have one younger sister, who later on, became a half way decent mechanic, better than I (not really saying much), but she did it herself, and years later, by her own determination. She's now a Professor of Calculus out in California, but we don't hold that against her. That is how she worked her way thru University, of her own volition. I have more to say, but this has gone on long enough. As to polictics, for better or worse, let's forge about that, but when you say that the US confidence and the British lack of it would be better by finding a balance between them, I think you are mistaken. Not to be cocky, but of what benifit would it be for people from the States to be less confident? Joel, if you want to be a PT in the USA, there are ways to go about it. If you have a proclivity, please do. If you have the wish to, but not the need, desire or inate ability (proclivity), just give it up and go elsewhere. This is why an aprenticeship, or being an assistant, as a young gun is so important, to be able to find out if you have the chops or not. If you don't, if I need to remind you (who ever, about whatever), just don't waste their time, or yours, as it is will be on deaf ears anyway. That is another thing that people from the States tend to be good at, knowing when to quit. Granted, those who don't, tend to be BS artists, but that status is worldwide.

[@robertschwartz4810]

Extended families used to be very close, too. Everyone lived in the same town and went to the same houses of worship. Now, families are scattered across the country, sometimes thousands of miles apart. I wouldn't recognize my cousins if I saw them on the street.

[@christianburnett236]

Same here, I grew up with and being around many uncles/aunts and cousins and after several years everyone scattered to the winds even I probably wouldn't recognize them. Sadly, few stop being around because after they couldn't what they're getting at the time saw no point of being around.

[@cynthiacowan9744]

Americans find it important to stay grounded by remembering the things in life they have that are a blessing

[@jmh8510]

Joel, I think you’re one of us - at ❤️. I love your earlier comment on why we Americans were forced to be extroverts right off the boat. You seem to understand Americans a lot more than lots of Americans ☺️

[@blakemeadows9451]

I love "Americans can learn from Brits & Brits can learn from America." That's the way it should be, ideally.

[@Angie_King_Bens_Grandma]

I agree we need to dial it down & Brits need to dial it up. This was packed full of stuff to think about. Great shirt Lia!!💕

[@rudyguerrero8001]

I have been watching your Texas vlogs on rerun. I moved to Florida from Texas and hate it.

[@tyreedillard]

Joel, entrepreneur from Texas here.... Dude you are qualified to put out that course...you have the experience and the qualification of successfully doing it. As a consumer I would listen to you first, before someone with nothing but academic knowledge, or who looks like they were born looking like Mr health and fitness. Don't take my word for it. Create a digital test platform as a small scale test. Don't give out any medical advice or anything, just tell your story, what worked for you, and what didn't. Put it out there and see if it builds any traction. If it doesn't, no harm no foul. If it does, full steam a head. With a platform, you can always invite someone with the expertise you lack to contribute. just Go for it!

[@gaelliott61]

Oh this is really insightful. Especially the part about sincerity. Even though I live in the US, my ancestors are from Great Britain and I do not give out compliments lightly and feel that squeamishness similar to what you described- will I be taking a sincere?. Also many of the things you describe, like giving thanks at Thanksgiving we also feels kind of forced. We do not all eat breakfast together because we’re on different schedules. Sunday roast was a thing-at least in my household. I’d say upper class households are more encouraging with their children, whereas middle-class and lower class are more realists. Households with members of the military often train their kids to say “yes sir,” “no sir,” “yes ma’am,” “no ma’am.”

[@janineschindler2966]

I was raised Catholic. My parents were very strict. Monday through Friday we ate breakfast boul of cereal feed animals before school, after school homework, chores feed animals. Dad comes home from work at 4 he does work outside we lived on the farm. We come in help mom with dinner. Dinner was 5pm 8 of us kids some did dishes some gad to go back outside finish chores and shut lights off. End of our night every day. Saturday morning got up early everyone made a full breakfast pancakes eggs toast bacon oatmeal cereal. We could have just about anything. Lunch 11 ,Dinner at 5. Sunday was different. If we wanted to eat before church we had to at least a hour and a half before. We can't eat 1 hour before church. That was the rule the Catholic rule. Then a late lunch no supper we have like a brunch. As a family. Family was a huge deal growing up.

[@seandesmond5560]

I'm here for Joel and Lia tangents!!!

[@mariareznik7672]

If you hear a lady yelling loudly “good job” on a playground while pushing her kid in a swing or when a kid kicks a ball successfully- an American American mom.

[@mariareznik7672]

As opposed to a Non native born American.

[@kimmycupreacts]

I should be offended but I’m not 😅🤣

[@mariareznik7672]

Please do not be offended, otherwise this whole comparison Chanel is going to be offensive.

[@kimmycupreacts]

@@mariareznik7672 Oh I'm not. No worries.

[@stellaandes9622]

I was taught to call adults Sir or Ma'am, including our parents. I don't know why it bothers you so much. My husband and I didn't do that because my husband was from Ohio, where it isn't that common. Another thing my in-laws thought was weird was calling my aunts and uncles "Aunt So and So and Uncle Gil So and So". They asked if we also called our cousins Cousin So and So. About meals, we had dinner together and had to ask to be excused when we were done. We used to do that with our kids too. Eventually we just said the blessing to ourselves and ate wherever: in the living room, in our bedrooms, or on the porch, etc. For all birthday parties and holidays, all 16 of us (counting kids and their spouses, grandkids, and me) get together. Our table can't seat that many of us. Besides, we need the kitchen peninsula, the dining table, and a folding table that we bring in so we can fill them with the food and beverages, dishes and utensils. There were 17 of us before my husband died.

[@imalik4965]

a family swap would be so interseting

[@sholtey1]

My mom made sure we always ate breakfast together before school. But once we started attending different schools at different times, it was more difficult. We also always ate dinner together as well. Most families I know do eat breakfast and dinner together at least up to middle school.

[@traceywatson2092]

Our American daughter wanted nothing but to work in music theatre. She went to a conservatory to train her in singing, acting and dancing, but it was also a university that taught academics. She was fairly successful working in theatre, but not enough to pay her bills. Now she works as a dental assistant, and does theatre on the weekends for fun. She’s much happier not depending on a meager theatre salary and living off a decent salary from the dental office. She’ll always have theatre in her life…it gives her life. Just not rent or food on her table.

[@jeanjohnson8492]

Breakfast on the weekends together including before church on Sundays was norm in my house growing up. I have 5 brothers and sisters and we all went to my parents on Sundays after church for dinner (which means around 1230 pm, supper is in the evening)(I am from the South and we refer to meals during the middle of the day aka lunch as dinner on the weekends. Everyone, including our children, went and we stayed all afternoon talking with our parents and siblings and the grandkids all played with each other and got to see their grandparents every week. Going to my grandmothers' houses was always a must during the holidays also. There were about 25 people which you counted my parents, siblings and all of our kids. We are very much family oriented.

[@jlovebirch]

Almost no one does that "giving thanks" ritual on Thanksgiving and families rarely have the same morning schedule (with work and school) and only breakfast together on weekends. Have never heard a kid call their mother ma'am.

[@sassygrammy1258]

Many American Facebook users begin on November 1st by listing one thing for which they are grateful. This is done until the last Thursday of November which is THANKSGIVING.

[@spanishdncr71]

In America not all families sit down to eat dinner together every night. I’ve worked as a nanny for many American families and the children are expected to have eaten before the parents get home. The parents often get home at different times and eat dinner alone most days. Weekends are different for them, but for the most part the parents work extremely long hours and aren’t home until after 7:00 pm, by which time the kids are fed, bathed in their pyjamas and ready for bed. It often depends on where people live too as to what trends are the norm.

[@Mommaof003]

The “Mam” & “Sir” is out of respect. Everyone does it to everyone. It doesn’t have to do only with age. It has to do with just showing respect like “yes, mam” “yes,sir”! I tell my kiddos “yes, mam” and “yes,sir” when they ask me questions.

[@SuperDrLisa]

Is this in the south? We don't use that in New England.

[@lissahammond2249]

We don't do that in the North.

[@debbiechia]

U must be in the South. I’m from Northeast Pa, New Jersey and New Yorkers never like like that. , I’ve NEVER heard anyone say any of these words, ever till I visited St Louis, Missouri then also visited Atlanta then Alabama.

[@xnonsuchx]

It's considered sarcastic in some areas of the US.

[@jwb52z9]

It is mostly a Southern thing or in a family that has very strict or authoritarian parents.

[@maxhas2055]

This is what it looks like when the only things you know about the US come from TV and movies.

[@TrueBlue730]

Hey guys! Respect is not always based on merit. Respect, just like, compassion, kindness and mercy, are uniquely human qualities that are NOT things that are “earned”. They are also NOT things that need to be deserved in order to be given. These are the unique qualities that make civil society possible.

[@beverlydust5381]

This was a very interesting conversation about the differences between the US and Great Britain, some of which I agreed with and some not. I think where and when you grew up influenced your up bringing, you can be affected by staying in another country's culture for a long period of time. I think that if you had the opportunity to drive across America and stop and meet people from different places you would find similarities and differences between Americans and British people.

[@familybills2908]

Agree!

[@leigheppley5916]

I wonder how many families are "hugging families" in Britain? My mom's family has always been affectionate and my dad's not so much. I think since I've been an adult I have had maybe 4 hugs from my dad all on Father's Day. Usually it's a pat on the head LOL. My mom we give hugs and kisses everytime we see eachother.

[@derred723]

I was listening to a podcast with a retired NBA player from Australia named Luke Longley. Won a champions ship with Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls. He was asked what he missed about America and he said, (paraphrasing) "that people support you. If you ride around here in a flashy yellow Rolls Royce in Australia people will call you "a name and a tool." They don't like your success. In America if you drive around with a flashy yellow Rolls Royce people will walk up to you and say "Wow! how did you get that yellow Roll Royce and show me how i can do it too."" And i do think there is far less jealousy of others success in the states and where as there and from what i've seen in Europe people tend to frown on someone displaying their success. People in the states tend not to want you to not have a flashy car. they just want to know how they can get that success too.

[@originalub]

Hey Lia... Nia Vardalos is Canadian....

[@ahdoeknogh]

Respect due to age has its roots in the Ten Commandments. It's also generally true that older people have more life experiences than the young so to show a greater respect is to be more humble of what we don't know about the older person. Besides, mouthy, disrespectful children are the worst! Therefore, the 10 Commandments spares the child a smacked bottom.

[@scoville7707]

The center of Confucius’ writings. Respect yer elders. I personally take it as, ‘Remember your elders deserve respect; they have so much life experience’

[@jimpemberton]

American here - while we should strive to earn respect, respect should be given even if it isn't earned. You respect your elders, not because they are better than you, but because they are your elders. So in the example of the computer, if your elder is struggling with a computer issue, you respect them by helping them. You respect your boss because he or she has some authority over you. You respect your subordinates because they depend on you to lead them well. Respect doesn't mean simply doing everything they say because they can tell you to do something that's harmful. It means doing the right thing on their behalf. Conflict comes between people who have mutual respect when you disagree on what the right thing is. My kids are at the age when they are finding mates and moving out. Even still, we all get together as a family and have Sunday dinner. We also have game nights, just for fun. My kids are great! We never really went through the whole teenage conflict thing, probably because we always brought them with us on mission overseas when they were younger and they have always had important parts to do. We just got everyone together a couple of months ago for a vacation in the Virgin Islands. In the US, a lot of families vacation together.

[@drakenceew.684]

I’m American and found it much relatable to British lifestyle than American. I don’t have breakfast with the family, don’t have high confidence, I’m not loud or outspoken. And so much more lol.

[@lindacollins4336]

There is a reason that you find Americans to be exceptionally confident. It is what we call the American Dream. This means that because we live in America we can achieve anything we want, be anyone we want as long as we’re willing to work hard for it. The only thing that will hold you back from your dreams would be yourself. The idea of the American Dream is very entrenched in our culture. It is also one of the things that attracts people from other parts of the world to want to come here.

[@SherriLyle80s]

My family is just trying to get out the door for breakfast. Everyone has different schedules and wakes at different times. At one point, my husband worked 3rd shift and would come home at 9 am in the morning and sleep until 6pm.

[@ginareiter1399]

I’ve never gone around the table at thanksgiving and said what I’m thankful for. My family doesn’t do that. I actually don’t know anyone that does that. Sounds more like what you see in movies/tv. Really it’s just a nice, big family diner. Way to many people base America off on what they see on the screen.

[@astrogatorjones]

Religion has nothing to do with eating supper or breakfast together.

[@addiejolin237]

As an American, we don’t really eat breakfast together on most days, and we have a family reunions like once a year, and normally we’ll get together with either my aunt or uncles side of the family for holidays. Also, we normally try to all have dinner together, but there are sports and sometimes they get off work late, but we definitely normally eat dinner together. We don’t say grace though, but there is a no phone at the dinner table rule, and my aunt forces us to stay downstairs for some family time.

[@jaymepittroff]

We only have breakfast on our days off, but I have always fixed dinner for my family nearly every night.

[@joannafoley1317]

I don't eat meals with my husband and son(19yrs). We work opposite shifts and only eat meals together on my weekends off. Family meals together is become rare.

[@jakegrimes9976]

It’s so funny cause you’re expected to say “Sir or Ma’am” in the South. In the North calling an adult Sir/Ma’am is quite rude, especially if you are familiar with this person. It’s basically acknowledging that this person is old and not in the same societal level as you

[@luelladiaz109]

Yes the people in their 40's and up to 60's do fee insulted but I and my friends are in our 70's and love the respectful address.

[@lucylulusuperguru3487]

And that is why Southerners laugh at Northerners who cringe at that. It's nothing to do with age, it's all about respect.

[@justgenesis]

So, sitting here watching this with my boyfriend when he pops off with, "I don't know why but if they were raised in America, I bet she'd have a sleeve of tattoos.".... I'm not sure what I think about that lmao (I'm heavily tattooed, my bf is not).

[@jenniferruffin2796]

We do make time for each other for birthdays and holidays. But we do not eat together for most meals. We have to many different schedules to worry about that.

[@bigdirt9807]

Many American parents tell their kids that they can be whatever they want to be. Some, though, mean it from a viewpoint that they deserve it, others from a viewpoint that whatever as long as they work for it. A big difference.

[@MsMadmax1]

Melanie Ross is correct--very few American families eat breakfast together, or any meal for that matter. This may have been true 50 years ago when I was a kid but in most families both parents work, they may work entirely different schedules and the kids often have after school activities like sports, music or clubs so its difficult to get everyone to the table at the same time. Most parents throw something in the slow cooker and everyone helps themselves. It's only now that my husband and I are retired that we eat at the same time.

[@simoneaddo644]

Hey Joel and lia could you start a new series where u react to American shows that we recommend you. I’ve seen some British people do this on KZbin and I’ve been obsessed with watching their reactions. You could also start a Patreon and post the full videos of the reactions there and thé cut versions on KZbin. I would pay for that

[@deniserollins7616]

The respect thing is more a biblical thing, I think. It has become a tradition: “ Do not rebuke older men, harshly, but talk to them with respect. Treat every older woman like your Mother, every younger woman like your sister with purity; treat every younger man like your brother.” I Timothy 5:1

[@zachandlaurathomas6641]

Just an FYI...Ma'am and Sir is not relegated to only the older or elderly in the South. Yes, it is used to address older people but it's also directed towards strangers or people you don't know as well as a sign of respect. Maybe , like when Asians bow to each other. Many U.S. non-Southerner's don't like the idea of using Ma'am or Sir either, but here in the South, those respectful ways will get you farther than if you didn't use them.

[@stephaniewickstrom7331]

Hi guys! I’m from Kentucky, just above Nashville, and I call anyone, of any age Sir or Ma’am. It’s just a sign of respect for the person you are speaking to. I’m 46, btw. I’ve lived in the Washington DC area for 20 plus years and I’ve noticed that not everyone has this same approach. I will say, it garners much respect back from someone who’s been raised the same. Also, I’m from a military-police family, and it wasn’t a must in my family, but I respected what my parents both did for our country and our city and it made me so proud. I also call them mom and dad. ( Sir and Ma’am during cheeky times too, complete with a Yes! And a salute, and with an understated voice when my a$$ was in trouble!!)

[@fionagregory9376]

Joel and Lia are middle class and jolly good.

[@itsreeah2663]

The hole meal thingy is funny for me because my family will always eat dinner together every night. I saw a lot of american famillies in movies eating breakfast and lunch together, but this doesn't happen in our household because me and my mum are always eating breakfast at different times LOL, and most the time it's like u have to shove something in ur mouth and then run out the door or u'll be late for school. Lunches are a similar story, sometimes we'll sit together and stuff but we dont make a huge deal out of it but we eat together for dinner, im Asian but I live in England

[@Bbabcock8]

Ma’am and Sir tend to be a Southern culture thing. My son will refer to me as Dad in general, but when I call to him or ask him a question his response had better be yes/no sir. I’d feel a young man/woman had no home training if they didn’t call me sir, so the conditioning is real around here.

[@familybills2908]

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@jwb52z9]

The idea of "home training" like that is not as common as it used to be anymore. You don't often find that kind of thing outside of the American South or outside of homes with strict authoritarian parents. it's considered old fashioned and overly formal to do that in most of the world.

[@leaflover3497]

You were very complimentary to Americans in this video. Thanks!

[@pacmanc8103]

I think they’ve realized they have really been turning people off. Remember, they are actors. I once caught Lia in a moment when she was not in any way appropriate - while I watch occasionally, I’m no longer a subscriber because of that.

[@rj-zz8im]

Respect is either mutual or it doesn't truly exist. I agree that age has no requirement of respect.

[@noneofyourbusiness27]

Hi, American here, in my family we don't eat together at breakfast, none of us are Christan (so no saying grace etc) and while we eat dinner together sometimes it's not on a specific day. It is nice that you seem to have a good opinion of us though.

[@laketoye232]

i don't call my mom or dad sir or ma'am normally; however, if they are telling me to do something i can't answer "yea'...at that point it is yes ma'am....or if my dad ends with "do you understand me" that's normally met with a yes sir.

[@becky_1919]

Sadly most of the things you mentioned are mostly shown on TV...I live in the US and most of the people I know either pick up breakfast quickly as they need to drop off the kids and get to work. Some families have dinner together every evening, but most don't. Also I agree that some Americans are open, but there also tends to be an insincerity(FAKENESS) to it and sadly that openness could be used against you.

[@cirellah3987]

Great video! ❤️ I feel like the editor found the zoom feature!. Lol! 🤣